“My Sassy Girl” Internet posts by Kim Ho-Sik as translated by bumfromkorea

Chapter 1
I was drinking and hanging out with my friends in Shinrim district until 10 pm. But that day was also the day I had to go visit my aunt in Bupyeong. I thought I should stop screwing around and left... I took the subway from Sanrim station and in Shindorim I was waiting for a train that headed to Inchon. So while I'm waiting, I noticed that there was a girl next to me, completely wasted. She wasn't exactly 'celebrity-pretty' but still unique and attractive. She was one of those girls who looked good in yellow t-shirt and jeans. Looked like she was about 24.. or 25... Maybe it's because she's drunk, but her eyes were almost closed, unfocused, and sometimes gagged. "[gagging noise]" If she wasn't so hammered, she would be really cool. Then the train came. It was late... so there weren't so many people inside the train. She and I took the same train... of course, since we didn't know each other, we were on the opposite doors. As soon as she got on the train, she leaned on a pole. But while a normal person leans against their backs, she was leaning against her stomach, and was waving back and forth precariously. Her drunken behavior was pretty cute, so I kept watching... In front of her (the chair right next to the pole) a bald man was sitting down... He was reading the newspaper with an utmost concentration. Right on top of his head, she was going back and forth! No one around her was paying attention to her... I was only watching her too.. But suddenly, she acted strangely. She was shivering for a moment then, [sound of throwing up] Yes, it's true... Suddenly, she... on the bald guy's head.... While this was going on, I was the only one watching. But when the sound of throwing up came around, everyone on the car turned around to look at her... then at the man... and everyone started to roll on the floor laughing.

On top of his bald head were noodles coming down like hairs... a red noodle no less... must have been from the snail dish... then to the shoulder... to the stomach... the chunks and liquids and ... That man... for 10 seconds he looked as if he didn't understand what had happened, then he wiped his head with the newspaper he was reading. He was so awestruck he couldn't say anything... poor guy!... But... the real fiasco started from there. After she threw up, she looked at me, eyes barely open, and before she fell down she said.. "Sweetie... [throws up] sweetie... [throws up]" When she called me sweetie... everyone on the car started looking at me. "Wha... wait... Miss, who are you? What do you mean 'sweetie'?" I tried to deny it... but it was too late... everyone was looking at me with a vicious look. ^v^ (a woman next to me who was still laughing) @.@ (a girl standing by the next door) -.& (a man who just woke up) O.O (a girl who just had her eyelids done... sunglasses at this hour?) ^___^ (A student who looked like he was my age) T.T (This is me...) Some guy was trying to hit me with his newspaper... some woman tells me 'what the hell are you doing?' Yes... Suddenly, I became the boyfriend of the drunk girl. The bald man stopped wiping himself off and called me... "What do you think you're doing? Come here!!!" 'He's going to kill me!' I was terrified... and slowly, approached him. "Hurry up and take care of this mess. How can you just sit by while your girlfriend is drunk like that? Are you out of your mind?" "Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.. T.T." I didn't have any tissues... I don't even have any handkerchiefs... So I had to take my t-shirt off... my sister bought me that... and started to wipe his clothes.

When things were kinda back to the way it should be... my girlfriend (?) started to worry me. I looked and she was knocked out spread eagle. I picked her up (actually, I dragged her by her feet)... and sat her down on a chair.. everyone avoided me... damn it... Next stop was Bupyeong... I have to get off.. But what about this girl? I can't just leave her here... the people in the cart kept staring at me. I tried to wake her up, but she just won't budge. So, without a choice, I carried her and went off at Bupyeong... she looked pretty light, but when I got out of the station, I was covered in sweat. What should I do?... I'm not a bad guy; I don't want to carry around a drunken girl... especially when she's a complete stranger... My chance??? Yeah, I'm sure it's a chance... wait, you're telling me to just take her?? Having no other options, I looked for a local motel. "Ma'am, I need a room." "Oh dear... she's completely wasted." "Yes ma'am... can I have a room?... Oh, and do you have a medicine that wakes you up?" So I went into a motel room with her... She was very skilled... she threw up so much, but her clothes didn't have anything on... so I didn't have to take anything off, I just dumped her off on the bed and... I thought "Why the hell am I here?".. damn it... I looked at the mirror and I was covered in sweat... I looked like a crazy person.. "Well, since I'm at a motel.. might as well take a shower." I took a very long shower... a shower after sweating so much... it feels good. I came out afterwards, but she was snoring already... she's impossible... But I'm not that kind of person.. so I just wrote a memo: "Miss, contact me later." and left my cell phone number. Do you think she called? If you're curious... I have so many memories with her (most of them hurting me...) Yep... she's one brave girl... She called me next day...

Chapter 2
If you think about it, she’s very brave. Completely wasted, and taken to a motel by a stranger (nothing happened... read below)... would you read the memo left by the stranger and call him the next day? If so, send me an email... I know a friend. So yes... as soon as she woke up, she read my memo and called me. They say ignorance is strength... she probably don’t remember what happened last night. Me: Hello? “The Girl”: Who the hell is this? (Like I said... brave... -_-;;) Me: What? Who is this? “The Girl”: I called the number on the memo you left at the motel... Get over here. Get over here now! So I went back to the motel... she was waiting outside. To be honest, I was a bit afraid to talk to her. She won’t remember anything from last night.... and then she would... ‘You son of a b!tch! @$$hole! What did you do to me? I’m calling the cops!’ Me: Excuse me... “The Girl”: It’s you? (‘You’? Informal you. I can’t believe this girl! (Note: It’s considered VERY rude to use informal format to strangers)) Me: Yes, it’s me... b- but... why are you using informal“The Girl”: Hey, I’m hungry. Let’s go get something to eat. Me: Yes ma’am... I had to say ‘Yes ma’am’... You had to be there T.T We went to the nearest restaurant. Apparently, all that drinking did nothing to her stomach... I couldn’t believe it... and when she was done, she looked at mine and said “Hey, are you eating that or not? If you’re not, give it here.” Then, she took it from me, and started munching on it. Damn it, I’m hungry too.... Then she told me to take care of the bill... $.$... Then she took me to a coffee shop near the Bupyeong station. She must live somewhere around here... she knows the area well. She ordered two coffees without asking me, then told me “You’re buying.”

A thought crossed my mind. Is she? She’s really shameless. Maybe she’s one of those con artists who takes money from guys who help her when she throws up on some bald men.... Then she started telling me about yesterday... sounded like a movie with chunks missing. She didn’t remember my face, but she remembered me helping her and her calling me “sweetie.” What the hell... shouldn’t she be saying sorry to me then? Then she asked me what happened. So I began to put the missing chunks in her movie one by one. Suddenly, her eyes were saddened, then told me that she was dumped yesterday... She said her goodbyes, drank until she were gone... then, she began to cry in front of me.. People in the coffee shops were looking at me... just like last night. ~.~ ~.~ (A couple next to us (get a room!)) @.@ (The waitress) –.–? (Some guy next to us) Whenever I’m with this girl, people start looking at me... But she was really attractive when she was in her right mind (kind of...). Plus, she was crying, and I started feeling sorry for her. We went outside the shop... then she told me... “Give me some money for taxi...” ... So I gave her 10,000 won ($10)... I’m a nice guy, right? Actually, I did it because I was really scared. She’s a lot more tougher than she looks. She said she would call me at night. I lived in Seoul, so I came back. That evening... she was really calling me. And she told me to go back to the coffee shop in Bupyeong. She wanted to buy me dinner to say thank you. I met her at the coffee shop again. She changed what she was wearing and she put on some makeup... she was a whole new person. She was breathtaking. Then we started to drink. I was a bit nervous... she might drink too much again... and just like last nightShe drank a half bottle of soju (roughly 4~5 shots) without stopping. Then, she was unconscious. Again. Only half a bottle? Then yesterday, she drank half a bottle? It was unbelievable. I wasn’t going to pay this time, so I looked into her wallet and took out the money for the bill. On her ID, it said 760416-2****** (This means that her birth date is 04-16-

1976). I’m 75 (meaning that he was born in 1975). My friend are all 74, but since my birthday is early, I’m treated like a 74. She’s younger than me, and she’s using informals? Maybe I look younger than I am. Once again, she’s on my back. ‘Please don’t throw up...’. Then I went to the same motel last night. The owner welcomed us... recognizing us... Owner: She’s wasted again? Me: Yeah.... -_-;; Owner: Go ahead, I’ll get you the wake-up pills I guess loyal customers are indeed valuable, buying medicine and everything. I put her on the bed and looked at her carefully... also at the chest.. area... -_-;;. She really was pretty. I could hear my own heartbeats. Something was wrong about her. She must have changed into... into this. I think the pain of breaking up had affected her greatly. She probably tried to deal with that pain with alcohol. She’s not acting like a drinker. In any case, I felt sorry for her. Tomorrow was Monday, which meant I had to go to school. But I gave it up, and slept in the corner... and thought ‘I’ll try to treat her pain...’ You think we’re in a relationship now? I wouldn’t call her my girlfriend... “Like” is too casual, but “Love” is too heavy. But I don’t want to be in love with this girl.. I’m sure she feels the same way about me too... But I have to help her deal with the pain she’s going through. Right now, it’s been three months. And yes, there were plenty of... ‘dates’. It’s been pretty horrible three months.... and of course, there are lots of stories to be told...

Chapter 3
So... Here’s a good news.. I use informal format with her as well now... After confirming that she was younger than me, then I told her. Me: Hey! How old do you think I am?!... ma’am? (And I’m stuttering even when I’m saying this) Girl: You? I don’t know... why is that important? (Her eyes are getting narrower) Me: You’re a 76! I’m older than you! I oughta beat the crap out of you and teach you some respect! (I wish I could have said that... but...) Me: I.. I think you’re a 76.. and I’m older... so I thought, maybe...

Girl: Oh, really? How old are you? Ok, then you use informal too.. And that’s how I got to use informal to her. Something wasn’t quite right, but I decided that at least I wasn’t beaten in the process. We have a strange connection, don’t we? It’s been two nights and three days since we’ve met, and we spent the two nights in a motel. She goes to S university. I’m not that impressive myself... I’m a college student. She doesn’t have classes on Wednesdays, and I don’t have classes on Thursdays. Few days later, she called me. She said she didn’t have class that day, so she wanted to do something. I was at school... in lecture. I told her I was in class and that I had lectures that afternoon, so I couldn’t get out until 5. Then she told me she was coming here. It’s not like I could stop her. After lunch, the lecture started at 2. At 2:30, the front door of the lecture hall burst open, and everyone looked towards it. Usually, when students were late for classes, they use back doors. Quietly. Whoever this was, she was one brave student. Then she said out loud. “What kind of school is this? I can’t find the damn classrooms!” You guessed it... Our tough... tough girl. As soon as I found out it was her, I turned around and pretend to be asleep. I hoped she didn’t notice me. And then... I could hear her footsteps. She was coming towards me.. How could she know it was me? She couldn’t have seen me... Whenever I got some money, I usually spend it on food and drinks with my friends, so I basically have one pair of sweatshirts and pants. And yes, I was wearing the same clothes as I had whenever I met her. I blame the world... I blame alcohol... I blame my friends... I just wanted to run away... She sat right next to me. It hadn’t been that long since semester started, so though students recognized each other, but the professor didn’t recognize all of us. The professor probably thought she was some brave student late for class. Then the class continued. But people were talking left and right... ‘She’s new, isn’t she?’ ‘She’s pretty hot!’ ‘Our school has girls like that?’ ‘Finally, a reason to go to this class.’ Some guy with same major as mine whispered to me from the back.

“Bro, the girl next to you is really cute. Let’s work on her after class.” I thought to myself ‘Moron... idiot...’ If she just forced me to leave the lecture, I’d be known throughout the school as... ‘That guy’. The 20 minutes till the break period felt so long. Then the break came. In case she started talking to me, I got up quickly. She followed, of course, and told me we should go somewhere else.. What the hell... I’m not exactly a model student. This professor is famous for giving out Ds for absence and F for an absence and tardiness. So I told her. In all honesty, I could not ditch this class. Just kill me instead. Surprisingly, she told me “Ok”. And sat back down. After 10 minute break, the class continued. Two hours left... but she was nowhere to be seen. Did she leave? Or is she just waiting for me? Then the professor came in and said. “Gyeon-woo. I’ll count you as present, so go ahead..” “Huh? Professor, why?” “That girl was your girlfriend, right?” The lecture hall turned completely silent. Everyone was looking at me with envy. Haha... It felt kinda good. But... what did she say to the professor? How did she convince that intolerant professor to let me go? So I took my stuff and came out. She was waiting for me outside. “Hey, what did you told him? He’s not exactly understanding....” Yeah... she told me “I told him I had to go get an abortion, and that you were the father.” If someone else had to me this, I wouldn’t have believed it. But... This girl... she was definitely capable.... What kind of situation is this??? I was ruined! My campus life at this point had been terminated. I didn’t do anything to her... Then I couldn’t go to that class again. I just decided to take the F. The students complained about letting me go, so the professor told them what she told him. The girls in my major aren’t even talking to me. During the CAD class, Yungmi used to help me with the blueprints all the time, but now she looks at me as if I’m a pervert.

Afterwards, any classes I took, people were talking and talking... It had been only 2 months since I started college after military service... and I’m already left out. That’s not all. This is nothing compared to what I had to go through so far. Oh... I got a B in that class I couldn’t go to any more. I didn’t go to class at all... and only took the final... The professor must have taken my ‘situation’ into consideration. So people started hating me even more. That class... you had to work your ass off to get a B. One in 120 gets an A in that class... A friend of mine told me that such things had never happened before or never will... He told me it was gonna become a campus legend...

Chapter 4
She always wants to meet me during the weekends or Wednesdays... Especially Wednesday... you know why, right? Yes... For the people who know why... Thank you. You've read all the writings so far... ^^ I live for people like you. She doesn't have classes Wednesdays... but I don't have any classes either. Like I wrote from last chapter... She came to my class in a Wednesday and.. made a mess, so I don't go to lecture on Wednesdays. I can't, actually. (My tuition...T.T) Once again, on Wednesday, I gave up going to school and was standing by in my house. She didn't call beforehand, but if she comes by and call me and tell me "come out in 10 minutes or I'll kill you!",... I have to get there in 10 minutes. This one time, she called me, and told me... "I'm at Shin-do-rim station, so get here in half an hour. I have a bottle of soju with me." ... ... ... ... T.T I live in Shin Dang district. Even if they don't close down Dang San bridge, I can't get there by subway in half an hour. So I took the cab... And... Yes. She really did have a bottle of soju with her. If I didn't get there in time, she probably would have drank it all by herself.... scary... Anyway, she called me that day as well. She told me to go to Jam-Shil station's fountain. and.... Without an exception... "You have half an hour."

This is where my war begins... But today, she was pretty generous with time limit. Maybe she had a good day. 30 minutes... I can take the subway as long as I run like hell... She wants to go to Lotte World... (A part indoor, part outdoor amusement park in Seoul) She paid the entrance fee... she even bought the day-pass... I bought lunch... just hamburgers... Usually, girls turn really cute in amusement parks... When you ask them to ride something scary... they pretend to be scared... and screams, and all that stuff. Right? I thought... she would be the same... but she rode the gyro drop three times in a row (This is the Gyro Drop: http://youtube.com/watch?v=9ynIwWnro8g ) Afterwards, we went to Sukchon Lake. It was getting dark, and what with the streetlights, the mood was just right... Apparently, in the old days, the place was crawling with gangsters... but now, the place was filled with couples sitting on benches.. we sat down too. There wasn't much to do... so we just... sat there. Out of nowhere, she wanted to drink beers. I do NOT want to drink anything with this girl. But just a can of beer?... Whatever, it's just soft drink. We bought two cans and a saewookang (shrimp crackers). By the time we finished, she called out a passerby... "Hey! Why are you wearing red shirt? Who said you can wear red shirt?!" "What the hell... Who the hell are you? Crazy..." The stranger looked at her as if she was crazy. I ran away.. and hid behind a bench. I guess she got tired of picking fights... with strangers... She looked at the lake and she said it was so pretty. She wanted to take a closer look. So we went through the bushes and went closer. In her eyes, there were streetlights... lakes... she didn't say anything. She's probably thinking of her ex again. Already, she started to cry. I felt so bad for her... Though she was tough on the outside, she was so fragile inside. She suddenly said to herself... "That lake is so pretty... I wish I could go inside..." I became a bit tense. I thought she might jump into the lake. I stood by her side... then... Then, I found myself drowning in the lake... T.T.

I tried to get out, but... I can't swim... People by the lake gathered around... but no one tried to get me out. Even she must have been surprised... No one knew what to do. No, you guessed right. She wanted to see how deep the lake was, so she pushed me into the lake... 'Why don't you just stab me with a knife to see how sharp it is?' Sukchon lake is deeper than you think. The land is in front of me, but I can't stand on the bottom of the lake. No one tried to help me... so I eventually crawled out. I could hear the siren by then. Someone must have called 112 (emergency number for Korean police) We rode the police cruiser bravely.. and went to a local station. We had to hear two hours of lecture from an officer. She was nodding all along. I asked later... Me: Hey, what if I died then? Why did you push me? "The Girl": Men are all bastards... I couldn't say anything... I couldn't be angry at her either. I was just sad. I really felt for her... When can she recover from all that? Next day, a daily newspaper had a small headline... "After Being Dumped By Girlfriend, a Local Man Attempts Suicide."

Chapter 5
I was very weary of her "toughness" and her ability to make trouble just about anywhere. By then, I was pretty much on alert for any 'sudden situations'. In case she drinks by herself and is helpless... or in case she makes trouble after she's drunk... I wrote my phone number on a card and put it in her wallet. *If I'm completely out of my mind, please call the number below. Cell Phone #: 016225-***** It's just like that lost and found tag you get for your dog. I know... there wasn't any other way. You know how people can't always be happy? That there's a day when everything goes wrong? That day, I was very depressed because of a friendship gone rather awry. And what's a better medicine for sadness than alcohol? I drank quite excessively that night.

I can only handle a bottle and a half of soju (Note: This is quite a lot for U.S. standard... Soju is 20~25% alcohol) But I don't act up when I'm drunk. I just sleep... quietly. I drank two bottles that day, and I had to head home only semi-consciously. When I arrived at the Subway station, I suddenly wanted to see her (whose outward looks, at least, was appealing). I took the lane heading to Inchon... and fell asleep Someone woke me up then. "Listen, young man. You have to get off here. This is Jemoolpo station." (Note: Jemoolpo station is in front of University of Inchon) I was still drunk at this time. Just because I slept a little doesn't mean all the alcohol drank already would be gone. Someone dragged me off the subway and had me lie down on a bench. (Still, the world really is a nice place to live in. I was a complete stranger, and that guy had the heart to take care of me) I looked around, trying to figure out where I was... It really was Jemoolpo station. And then I called her... "Hey!... I... It's me... *gags* *burps* I'm at... uh... Jemoolpo Station. You gotta come here... and get meeee... in 30 minutes." She lives in Bupyeong. If you think about it, 30 minutes is pretty generous. I was always pressured by her time limit... and I guess I was unconsciously planning for a revenge. -_-;; Then I fell asleep... at least, I don't remember anything after that. When I woke up... I was in jail. -_-;; My stomach was not feeling good at all.. I had a blinding headache, and had a painful thirst as well. A cop got me a cup of water.. "Sir.. Why am I in here? Let me out..." "No, you gotta wait for the call from the DA (District Attorney)" District Attorney? I must have attacked a woman or something last night while I was drink.. My life was over... I tried to remember what happened, but all I remember is calling her. Half an hour later... my beautiful and tough girl game in... I realized she hadn't come last night. But then, she told me that her uncle was the district attorney, and he lived in Jemoolpo. She was worried because I did something very out of character, and called her uncle in the middle of the night, then her uncle... saw me sleeping under the station bench, barefoot... and using a soda can as a pillow. Apparently, there were some coins thrown in front of me... well, thank you.

Then her uncle had taken me to the nearest police station. I understand the situation and that her uncle was a DA, but still... letting me sleep in a jail? And I was his niece's friend... and of course, she agreed to put me in jail. Remember how I put a card in her wallet? Well, she put one in mine... *Hello. I'm a mental patient. Sometimes, I'm completely out of my mind, so if you see me acting crazy, please call this number: 011-316-**** * And this is how we have each other's address and phone numbers (and asking people to call this number in.. certain situations) in our wallets. It's pretty cool... -_-;; Later when I get a job at an office, I'm going to Xerox it. That day, she beat the living hell out of me... and told me that if I do something like this again, she'll kill me. 'You're worse than me...'

Chapter 6
NOTE: This chapter is not really part of the story. Remember that the author is, at the point of writing this, posting it on a website for people to read. So he took a chapter to clarify some things. Hello, this is Gyeon-woo 74. Hahyung is suffering because of me... Everyone got a picture of Hahyung, right? She has nothing to do with her... Also... a lot of emails and memos ask the same questions Are you cheating on the girl with Hahyung? What is the girl's cell number? Is this a true story? Everyone told me to answer on the next chapter, but if I wrote the answers before the story, it doesn't look good. (It's already too long.. -_-;;) I'll just leave the answers to everyone's imagination... Oh, and she finally found out about this whole internet story deal. I really hate her friend... If something happens to me, I'll reveal her friend's ID (screen name. Also, he's not acting that pissed off either. There are nuances in the sentences that cannot be translated)

I'll probably going to be summoned by her again... What excuse would I use? No, how can I beg her not to kill me? I don't want to die... And yes.. she calls me... "Come to Bupyeong ?? Cafe in one hour." She's very pissed off. From Seoul Shindang district to Bupyeong station... there's no way subway can get there in one hour... Taxi? Yeah, but only express taxis, and it's gonna cost about 50,000 won ($50). And I'm a really poor guy... I got there in hour and half. I thought all my fingers were going to break... I wanted to keep the middle ones.. \_/ From here, I'm going to write this the way she want me to... If the visited counter is lower than before, I'm going to be killed along with my fingers... I apologize sincerely once again... Now, chapter six... she's... very pretty? ================================================== ======================= She's pretty... She looks very similar to Shim Eun Ha (Photo reference: http://www.jayang.hs.kr/upfiles/%EC%8B%AC%EC%9D%80%ED%95%98-good.jpg) (Once again, I'm writing the way she wanted me to... I told her we should just post a picture of us... then she beat the crap out of me...) Her life is very similar to the ones played by Kim Hyun Joo in a Drama (Remember that cheesy soap opera playing on Sunday mornings?... Is it still on?) She's very smart too... She receives scholarship awards... (I have nothing to say... no, I don't know what to say to this...) She's a senior in college right now.. If there's a good position open, she wants you to know that she's very qualified. (She thinks internet can do everything... wherever she gets a job at, male employees are gonna suffer...) Remember how she told me that she was dumped and that's why she drank so much in the beginning? She wants me to edit it so that she dumped him... (Too much TV, if you ask me.)

She's very busy because she's writing her graduation thesis, and she's a economic administration major. She wants to know if there's any thesis paper out there that she can copy... (I have no idea what this girl is thinking) Her friend who told her about this... you're gonna print this out and show it to her again, right? Please, please edit out the sentences in parentheses. Please? I'll buy dinner... I apologize once again... I don't want to do this either, but ... I have to survive.

Chapter 7
On her ID, her birthday is April 16th. I don't know why... but on the calendar, it's in June... (Note: Most likely, this is caused by the discrepancy between lunar calendar and Gregorian calendar (which is widely used throughout the world)) Her birthday is very near... Birthday... If I try to pass the day by without doing anything... she.. might murder me. Oh, speaking of murder, she is a 76 Dragon (Note: Meaning that she was born in 1976 and her eastern zodiac is Dragon)... I'm 75 Rabbit... but my friends are 74 Panthers... you know why, right? Fast 75... (Note: Meaning that since he was born in the early months of 75, either in January or February, his friends didn't try to establish an elder-young relationship) My friends told me.. a Panther and a Dragon can't have a good relationship because they're both fierce. So I reminded them that I was a rabbit... then they said "Idiot... no wonder you're so... Think about it. A DRAGON and a rabbit? You know what's gonna happen? You're gonna be murdered." What a great bunch of friends... anyway, as her birthday approaches day by day, I get more and more nervous... what should I get her.. Money? She has too much. Anything she need? Doesn't exist. Me? As I said before, I'm dirt poor. Instead of something I can buy, I thought about doing something for her instead. Make this birthday even more unforgettable than any birthdays or anniversaries she had spent with her last, so that she can recover as fast as she can from him... Don't you think it's a great idea?? I thought about a movie... as she opens the trunk of the car, doves... and balloons fly to the sky as a banner rises saying "Happy Birthday!" Great idea! That would be really cool!

But... I don't have a car... or a driver's license.... Doves? How do you catch them?? and banners? ridiculously expensive. There's another idea! Even better one! A feasible one! Before I went off for military service (note: mandatory in South Korea for about 2 years), I used to work at an amusement park. I was in charge of operating some rides, but mostly I was operating a SR2 Space Voyage. (Note: Similar to Back to the Future ride at Universal Studio park) This one time I was working, Kim Hee Sun came to the park. (Picture reference: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kim_Hee-sun) She rode the SR2 too... I took her ticket, secured her safety belt, and even got an autograph (awesome!). So, this was it. I immediately called my friends who were still working there. Apparently, they still couldn't find a better job... In the middle of the night, she and I are the only ones at the amusement park... As I stretch my two arms to the sky, the carousel turns on with fireworks! Now that's what I'd call a movie scene! I tried to convince them... but they refused.. saying that they'll get fired.. and there'll be security in the place anyhow... but I couldn't give up. Me: What if I got the security guys something to drink and smoke? Friends: I don't know... would that work with just couple of bucks? Me: Here's 50,000 won ($50)... bribe them for me. My friends look at me like I'm crazy and stands up....... Me: Fine. 100,000 won ($100).. this is all I got.. They're heading for the door Me: Fine! Fine! Here's 200,000 won ($200) We figured out our strategy. Friend 1 would turn on the main power and go straight to the pirate ship Friend 2 would hide in the carousel control room Friend 3 would track us in case she does something crazy, and turn on whatever the ride she wants. I would go with her into the amusement park... take her near the carousel.. and tell her..

"This is my magic for you." I stretch my arms, then the carousel turns on with music, and we ride the carousel. Then we move on to the pirate ship. As we go on, one of the friends turn on the streetlight as we pass by them. Then we ride the pirate ship.. Just the two of us... the plan is foolproof! No one in real life could get a birthday present like this... The day before her birthday... we have to move in at late night, so I figured the front gate would be closed. I tried to find a side door, but there weren't any... I decided we would climb the wall. She's... probably an expert wall climber.. I practiced in front of the carousel, with both arms stretched out... Passerby are staring at me.. And I quickly pretend I was yawning. I'm so proud of my brain cells... they're learning quickly how to avoid other people staring at me while I'm with her.. The day has come. It's her birthday... A bouquet? I don't have one. I told my friends to buy one for me and put it on the carousel... I pretended that I didn't have any gifts... She's yelling at me... I have to endure it.. the day is almost over, and I have to keep her with me till the late night. Of course, going for a drink would be the best solution, but... if she drinks a half a bottle... she would be quite unpredictable.. It's 1 in the morning. I called my friends I was heading over there.. They tell me everything is ready.. I sure have a bunch of trustworthy friends We took a taxi to the amusement park.. she asked me why we're going there... I didn't really answer... We arrived at the wall of the park. "We have to climb over" Her: Are you crazy? Why are we here in the middle of the night? Climbing over the wall no less... Me: I always wanted to come to the park in the middle of the night... please? Let's be crazy and just do it. You're good at that right?... being completely out of your mind... She climbs over in seconds... and I took 10 minutes..

My heart was beating loudly. Finally, the best plan of my life is about to come to its full. She might just come for a bear hug when she's so moved... We headed over to the carousel... everything was going according to the plan... it was very dark, and we couldn't see anything... In front of the carousel, I turned around to face her and took her by her shoulders, and as practiced, whispered. "This is my magic for you." I stretch my arms to the sky. Silence is broken by sound of music singing happy birthday. Carousel is turned on. She must have been taken by surprise. She's about to cry. I took her hand and was about to ride the carousel... Then... out of nowhere... I hear whistles.. "Hey!! What's going on!! Who are you??" And now, we're at the police station. After getting yelled by security for hours, we were sent to the police.. Officer: What are you guys trying to do? Why would you go in there in the middle of the night? Huh? Me: I'm so sorry, sir.. See, what happened wasOfficer: (He's not even listening.. why ask me why we did it then?) Do you have any idea how much fines you are going to take? So, she and I... along with my friends... spent the night in jail together... This is my second time in jail... (you remember the first time, right?) In any case, I guess I did give her an unforgettable birthday gift. Can anyone say they spent their birthdays behind the bars? My friends told me... they tried to bribe the security, but they refused... Since that job was the only way they can support their families, they can't risk getting fired... So my friends spent the money I gave them on their cell phone bills..... Since they promised, they thought "whatever" and let this whole thing happen... Next day, they all got fired.. (Ha!) So what about the fines? The next day, her uncle... yes, the one that let me experience the fine institution of jail... came by and took care of it. You gotta appreciate the power of DAs...

But.. I became #1 on her uncle's blacklist... That's right.. Drug dealers, murderers, robbers, rapists... I beat them all, and took the first place!!!.... -_-;; I'm still marked by her uncle.. Her parents think of me as public enemy #1. I just wanted her to be happy. She has almost moved on from him now... To tell you the truth, because of taking care of all the things both her and I did for past few months, I don't think she had time to think about him at all... Pretty soon, it'll be the 100th day since she threw up on the bald guy in the subway... so it'll be the 100th day since we've met... Of course, there's no way I'd remember something like that... She called me and reminded me. She's really rough, but there are sides of her that are cute like that.. And once again... what would I do for her.. this 100th day? If you have a good idea... please email me... But I got the impression that it was her who was preparing something... What is she up to?..

Chapter 8
Sometimes on TV, a martial artist comes out and demonstrates these fancy moves. You won't believe me... but I'm a martial artist too... really. In Taekwondo, Kendo, Judo, Hapkido, and Kung Fu, I have... one degree... (1st Degree + 0 + 0 + 0 + 0 = 1) The reason I'm rambling about this is because I wanted to prove to everyone that it's not because I'm physically weak that she always beats the crap out of me. You don't believe me? ... You're right. It was July, when the weather turned really nasty. For two months, she and I had covered basically all the places couples go to (bar... PC House... movies... video place... motel (?)... ... ... jail -_-). And we were getting tired of going to the same places over and over again. So we both agreed to "play with some culture and sophistication." and decided to play squash (you know, that sport that apparently only the 'bourgeoisie' enjoys).. I

never played squash before, but I did have some experience with Tennis, so I was pretty confident. She.. wanted to make a bet. ME: What bet? Her: Loser buys drink tonight. Me: I don't want to drink with you... ever... Her: Then, the loser has to fulfill the winner's one wish. Me: Okay... Don't regret it. It can be anything! She's overconfident with her natural athletic talent... She has no idea what's coming... and the game begins! Bam! Bam! Bam! (No, not the sound of me getting beaten up) Game over... the result? Of course I won... I can win against her in something... finally!! You owe me a wish! But the problem started from here. She must've been angry that she lost... she wanted to do Kendo... But Kendo is a pretty tough sport. It's a murder on your shoulder and back... When I was little, I always kicked ass in sword fighting with little sticks. Everyone who's my age in my neighborhood has at least one scar on the head from me.. So... there was no way she knew how to do Kendo... and even if she did... how good can she be? I was drunk with victory and... Yes... I was confident once more. So we go to the Kendo gym... and... what? People in the gym started to say hello to her. "Hey, long time no see.." From here, I started to get nervous... and I was back to my old self again. Me: It's too hot to play Kendo... let's just go swimming or something! Her: -_-; Me: I... I think I have a stomach cramp... Her: \_/ I was covered with equipments that I didn't even know the names of... Whatever.. the protective pads gotta be sturdy enough...

Everyone in the gym stopped what they were doing and began to watch.... but not the fight, but me... With a strange look on their faces -_____________ - (Kinda like this...) We both have the bamboo swords... 3 meters apart... I begin to sweat, and there's tension in the air... She approaches, and I stare right at her sword. It looked as if it was rising, then.. BAM! She went straight for my head... Did I get hit? No way! I parried her attack.. It was awesome. But if I had gotten hit, it probably would've killed me. I called for timeout. Wait!... Hey! When I watched it on TV, it went head, head, waist, leg... isn't that what we're supposed to do? I wish I hadn't agreed to do this.. I feel sudden pain at my side, then a cramp in my head.. I could see the stars.. then I don't remember what happened.. I could see the ceilings... I just pretended I was knocked out... Any case, I'd won the squash game, so she still owes me a wish. What should I tell her?... How about if I tie her up on a tree and beat her (for once)? After that day, I get nervous every time she holds even a wooden chopstick... who knows? She might complain that her food sucks and throws her chopstick like a knife to the cook or something.. A girl with Kendo degree... is scary as hell.

Chapter 9
Today's Saturday! She doesn't have any classes and neither do I... My plan for the day is to go to the library and study the whole day. That's right, I study... sometimes... I went to school, got a place in the library, and opened my book... And now I'm getting sleepy... T_T I pledged to be a great person by opening the front door and going to the library and... falling asleep in less than 5 minutes... I was barely conscious. I tried to fight off sleep by drinking coffee, smoking, washed my face with cold water... and came back to my seat... And ardently I... slept. Zzzzz I don't know how long I slept, but my phone started to vibrate. I answered, barely awake. And of course, it was her...

"Hello?" "Hey. I'm going to the University Street (literal translation. Think your local university, and the street right next to it filled with shops, coffee shops, etc.), so meet me there." "I have to study today..." "No... Do you want to die, or do you want to get there?" "I'll get there..." Suddenly, the silent library became noisy. "What kind of an @$$hole answers phone in the library?" "See, this is why I can't even study at the library." In the drowsiness of my sleep, I answered the phone loudly in the middle of the library. I quickly got my bag packed... the book I was using as a pillow was drenched with my drool... disgusting... -_-;; I got to the University street and she was waiting for me there. Lunch was a few minutes ago, and neither of us had anything to eat so... she said "I'm hungry. What should we get?" "Just whatever..." "Let's go eat jajangmyun (cannot translate... here's a picture for you guys though ^^: http://sfood.info/cuisine/nudle/p_11.htm The price range is about 3~5 bucks. It is a noodle with black bean sauce, kinda sweet, kinda salty. Considered a junk food and can get messy around your mouth if you're not careful). I'm suddenly craving for a jajangmyun." She wants jajangmyun... so we found a Chinese restaurant (note: not really Chinese food... just called one for no apparent reason) and she ordered "Can we get a double order of jajangmyun and a single order?" Well, that was sweet of her. She wanted me to get more so she ordered the double serving... the waitress gave me the double and gave her the single. But then, something feels wrong, and she tells me "Hey, our orders are switched. The double one is mine." "Wait... you get the double and I get the single?" "That's right. Hurry up."

"Then... why didn't we get two doubles?" So she eats the double and I eat the normal one. But I have my pride too. Before finishing mine, I ask the waitress "I need another double here." She doesn't let up "No, can we have two of those?" So we're on our second bowl... "Let's go." We shouted at the same time and started eating. Somewhere in the middle of the second bowl, she says "Hey, your first bowl was a single, so it's not fair. You have to get another one." "Can I get jjamppong (once again... spicy seafood noodle? ^^ here's a picture: http://image.ohmynews.com/down/images/1/ghsqnfok_291861_1%5B459530%5D.jp g) instead? I'm getting sick of jajangmyun..." Daikon pickles fly at me. So do onion pieces (note: both are usual side dishes with jajangmyun)... you know, with that black sauce. "No way! Ma'am, can we have another double?" She ate 2 doubles and I had a single and a double... and now, there's another double in front of me... I picked up my chopsticks... The world has turned in that black jajang sauce color... but like I said.. I have my pride.. I'm finishing up mine, and so is she.. I told her "Hey... I ate three bowls... you have to eat one more single... for us to have eaten the same amount... ma'am, we need one more single..." At this point, other customers have forgotten their orders in front of them. The owners aren't even working, but are too busy staring at us. And some delivery boy got the living crap beaten out of him by the owners after asking them if he could deliver later... even the chefs came out of the kitchen to watch us... Everyone was looking at us... as if we were crazy... I finished mine, but she still has one more to go... You know how the teacher's giving out group punishment? And you're the first one to get hit, and you turn around and look at other kids behind you about to get hit.. it was just like that. But... she finished... and said.

"We have to finish this..." She ordered another double... and then we played the multiplication game (where you recite the multiplication table in a certain beat and song) for it... I'm an engineering major. Engineering! There's no way I can lose to her. But... like I said... she's an econ major... damn it. I managed to eat 2/3 of it... and we left the place. "How much?" "Let's see... 2 singles and 5 doubles... 20 bucks." We ate... 20 dollars worth of jajangmyun (think 20 dollars worth of Big Macs) I can barely walk... the noodles are near my throat... if someone hit my stomach right now... I cringe and looked at her... She was writhing with pain.... We got in front of a Baskin Robins. She tells me. "I can't walk anymore.. let's rest here for a second. So we sat... collapsed near a telephone poll.. Then some guy passed by, coughing and then spitting thick, yellow mucous right next to us. We saw that... then... while holding the telephone poll... we started to throw up. That was around 3 pm... on Saturday... meaning that the place was packed with people. So, we were holding hands (lovely) and... threw up in front of them. We try to stop it, but we looked at the ... result... and... went at it again. Everything is.... black. I was reminded of a jajangmyun pizza for some reason. Some of the stuff splattered and got on my face... and on her face... After a while, we're about to faint... and we stood up, shaking. And we looked around... the sun looks like a daikon pickle. Everyone looks like delivery boys. About 200 people made a half-circle with 10 m radius around us... and was watching us...

I took her hand and ran... and thought "I will never eat jajangmyun... EVER!" And then I prayed that no one I knew was in the crowd... I went back to school on Monday... but some guys in my major was talking in groups... "So last Saturday, I went to the University street, right? You know that Baskin Robins? Some guy and a girl were throwing up in front of it in the middle of the day holding telephone polls. But I still have no idea what they ate... it was all black and... ugh. I thought 'are they from the mental hospital?'. I guess they were embarrassed and started to run, and their face was covered with that black stuff." I thought I was having a heart attack... Well, at least that guy didn't know it was me... thanks to the jajangmyun residue... After that, asking me to go eat jajangmyun would mean termination of our friendship...

Chapter 10
[My guess is this was partially incorporated in the taxi scene back from the highschool uniform --> club] Ah, Saturday… Saturdays are always the best. No school… I don’t have to wake up early and face the hangover… I can stay up all night surfing websites… ALSO! You can express your… love to each other… all night long… hehehehe… It was early in the morning, and I got a call from her. “Her”: Hey… so what do you like? Me: Um.. girls? “Her”: Idiot… I meant, what do you like to eat? Me: Yeah, I know. Girls (… I’m so sorry about this) “Her”: Wanna die? Anyway, my parents won’t be home for two days, so come over and I’ll make you something. Me: Really? You want me to come over? And you’re going to make me something? “Her”: Yes! So tell me what you want to eat already before I change my mind.

She’s…. She’s actually doing something nice for me? Right? She is doing something nice for me, right? She calls me over because she’s going to alone in the house for two days? What makes her think she’ll be safer with me over there? I was invited to her house… this is my first time over there since I met her… I should groom myself a bit, right? I went to a public bathhouse [note: lol… this does not carry the same implication as it does in United States. It is literally a place with several gigantic baths and showers where people go take baths.], and my face turned a several shades whiter. I wore my best underwear… glow-in-the-dark skull pattern… -_-;; It actually looks really cool when it’s dark… you know, with skulls glowing… I also borrowed a Chanel perfume from my little sister [Note:… yeah, I don’t know why he used his sister’s either…] I arrived at Bupyeong station… she said she would come and get me when I call her, but I decided to buy a little present beforehand… I was invited, after all… She came over in a cab and took me to her house… I guessed that she was rich, but her house was pretty big… a giant front door… and a Shepherd the size of a lion started to go crazy and barked at me. “Her”: That’s strange… Chacha (dog’s name) never barks at people, even to strangers… Are you thinking about something perverted? Me: How would a dog know what I’m thinking about?! He’s just nervous because I’m new to him (smart dog…) “Her”: But he never barks when my friends are over… that’s so strange… How the hell did this dog caught on? Do you remember that scene from “There’s Something About Mary” where the main character fights with a dog, and… Well, just in case, I covered… myself with my hands… I’d rather face a pair of scissors… -_-; Once inside, she poured me a cup of juice and told me she was going to make lunch even though it’s kinda late. So I sat down on a sofa with absolutely nothing going through my mind. “Hey! Lunch is ready! Hurry up!” I could see the warm, comforting steam coming from her lunch… it’s ramen…. “… I thought you were going to make something special?”

“Yeah, it’s a special ramen. Looks good, right?” “So you invited me all the way to your house to eat… ramen?” Talk about a huge disappointment… ramen… But I think she noticed that I was severely disappointed because then she said something that really affected me deep down. “Do you want to eat it, or wear it on your head?” “I-I’ll eat it. Thank you so much! This looks really tasty!” By the time I was finished, she promised to make something really special for dinner. Heh… that means she wants me to stay until dinnertime… maybe even afterwards? We watched a movie [note: video, not DVD… lol remember, this story takes place in that ancient strange world where DVD was yet to be born] in the dark, with the curtains drawn… sitting on the same couch… Somewhere in the middle, I decided that the movie was no good, and before I knew it I fell asleep… When I woke up, the TV was making a strange noise with gray squiggles going all over the screen. I guess the movie had ended… She was sleeping on my right shoulder. I turned my head towards the right side. Her head was right next to mine. I could smell the fragrance coming from her hair… It was nice… I thought about waking her up… but she was sleeping so soundly that I decided to let her sleep… but my shoulder was starting to ache… and my arm began to feel numb… Holding her head lightly, I got my shoulder out of there and wrapped my arm around her shoulder. She was still sleeping, with her head on my chest. While watching her sleep, I thought… it had been two months since I’ve met her. Her wounds must have healed a lot by now… but she’s always beating me up, messing with me, putting me in trouble… but I think she’s depending on me as well… She shifted around a bit, then woke up… then wiped her drool from her face. My… shirt has something warm and slippery on as well… She’s making dinner now… It smells wonderful… It felt as if we were the newlyweds. I went over to the kitchen and saw her busying herself over so many different things. I wanted to go behind her and give her a hug.

But we don’t have that kind of relationship yet… we’ve only held hands so far… She made soondobu chigae [Spicy soft tofu stew. Mmm… I think I’ll make that for dinner. Picture reference: http://www.sangganews.com/board_file/bd_success/updir/200705/s_img/117990211 762.jpg]… Only because I’ve said before that I liked soondobu chigae … We sat down together. I took a spoonful and carefully brought it over… I put it in my mouth… I almost spat it out. It was… beyond the point of salty and into bitterness. I began to cry. “Aw… Don’t be so emotional about it… *blushes*” “Y-yeah…. It’s… delicious… *sniffs*” This was the first meal she made for me. How could I say it was horrible? Her disappointment? Screw that, she might just pour the whole thing down my throat. I didn’t let her eat a teaspoon and ate the whole thing. I couldn’t stop crying… When I finished, I drank a 1.5 liter bottle of water in one gulf. It was getting pretty dark… Me: Hey, I’m gonna go home… Thanks for dinner… “Her”: What? You’re going already? But I’ll be alone in the house… Me: You’re in more danger with me… Make sure you lock all the doors and windows, Okay? “Her”: Wait… but we have to do something tonight. Do something??? Just the two of us??? There are some strange nuances of meanings in that sentence right there. An empty house… what would we be doing tonight? What do you think, we would be playing Monopoly? Hehehehe… She’s bringing a huge stack of books… each book has post-its and highlights all over the place “Hey, what’s all this?” She’s also bringing a notebook. “Type these for me.” … The reason she really brought me over was to… use me as a typewriter all night long… I knew it was too good to be true.

I spent all night typing her notes and post-its and highlights… she brought be a juice then slept for an hour… then got me some fruits then slept for an hour… then got me some cookies… then slept for an hour… But still, I don’t really mind… We don’t really love each other anyway… Rather, we try not to love each other… All I want now is for her to overcome her past and be able to love someone else again. That was my intention from the start anyway… I know, this one wasn’t as fun as the others… but not every episode can be fun… right? She’s becoming more popular than me online… I’m kinda envious… heh…

Chapter 11
(Translator's Note: Gigantic props to anthony for reminding me that I did this once. I completely forgot its existence in the crazy chaotic hurricane of school work. Judging from how this is my first summer off (as opposed to “off”) for a while, translations will continue at a faster pace. I promise :-) Also, I hope you notice that the grammar is inconsistent in terms of present and past tense. This is due to the fact that... in the original work, the author does go back and forth a lot. The original work is an internet semi-novel/blogpost, so don't expect any formal writing anytime soon. And just to be on the same page, this translation is not word-for-word. The humor, attitude, meaning, and the very spirit of the work would be lost if I did that. The cultural difference can also be jarring and sometimes downright confusing. In this very chapter, the girl's friend calls Gyeon-woo cute when they meet him the first time. Contrary to the context of the word, it is a simple compliment as opposed to anything flirty, and it doesn't mean "Oh wow! That guy behind you is really cute!"... it literally means cute, like a cuddly baby chick. I include pictures of foods, places, and celebrities that may be referenced to help the process as well.) *Riiiing* *Riiiing* “Hello?” “Hey, Gyeon-woo. It's me. Pretty yourself up and come to the Bupyeong Station.” “... Pretty myself up?” “Yeah... I'm meeting up with couple of my friends today.” “W-wait. Why am I going too when you're meeting with your friends?” “Because... I promised to introduce you to them. So hurry, okay?”

The whole thing took place at the ??? coffee shop near the station. (T/N: the author probably bleeped the name of the place to avoid any possible legal ramification) I can see her and her friends... five of them total... huh, there's a guy in the group as well. As soon as I got to the table, she began to speak. Her: Hey, you came! Sit down... So, guys. This is the guy I was telling you about. His name is Gyeon-woo. Her Friends: Nice to meet you! You're pretty cute. Gyeon-woo: H-hello... (Ugh, when they say that I'm cute, it means I'm not much to look at... I was in the market long enough to understand euphemisms like that...) The group consisted of me, her, a couple, and two other girls... We ordered soon after we were introduced. The couple ordered a diamond ice together (T/N: a sort of shaved ice with sweetened red kidney beans, fruits, rice cakes, and sweetener. Pic reference http://www.videoman.co.kr/uploads/goods/bingsu.jpg) , the two girls ordered coffee... I just wanted a coke, but she ordered a diamond ice for the both of us. The couple in front of us is being unbearably affectionate with each other. It's not like they can't eat with their own spoons... but, despite the not so kind looks others were giving them, they were feeding each other in turn. “Aw, Sweetie~” At the same time, her and I were engaged in an epic battle for the entire content of the bowl. No hands, just with spoons, and no saliva on the spoon. Our hands moved beyond the speed of visibility. “Hey! You took two rice cakes at once! Put one back right now!” How the hell did she see that?! I made sure to hide the rice cake inside the red beans... After leaving the coffee shop, the two girls left the group saying they had other stuff to do. I wasn't too sure if they just wanted to get out of there, but... Anyway, it was just the vomit-inducing couple and us, and after discussing what to do next, we all decided to go watch a movie. The theater was practically empty, so the four of us sat next to each other with two popcorns.

The lights went out and the movie started... I glanced at the other couple... The guy had his hand on the girl's shoulder, the girl had her hand on his waist, and they were holding each other's free hand. It was a bit nauseating to see. To make it worse, the girl was feeding the guy popcorn periodically. One for him, one for her. One for him, one for her. Ugh... At the same time, her and I.... had our hands stuffed in the popcorn bag fighting yet another epic battle. Both of our mouths were full of popcorn, making unusually large noise. Our hands happened to go into the bag at the same time. We both pulled, and the popcorn went into the air, making a rather nice firework. We then looked next to us and behind us to see people covered in popcorns glaring at the other couple. We looked at each other and grinned sadistically. Heh heh heh.... After making her promise not to drink too much, we went to get something to drink. (You know why, right? Her + alcohol = disaster) The couple in front of us became more and more... aggressive. They were in each other’s arm, kissing in public... (T/N: PDA is a bit controversial in South Korea) Her and I... yeah, right. We were playing rock, paper, scissors where the winner got to slap the loser. “Rock! Paper! Scissors!” Her: Scissor Me: Paper Her: If you please... SMACK! I bet that even if we're together for eternity, we'd never get that nauseating with each other... not that our relationship is anything like that in the first place. She does laugh a lot more than she used too... I feel proud whenever she laughs so brightly. I could also feel that the day I have to leave her was coming closer and closer...

Chapter 12
I was walking with her to her house... I don't really like taking girls back to their house. To make it worse, it reminded of that one time with an ex-girlfriend who I dated before I went off to the military (Translator's Note: South Korea has mandatory military service that lasts about 2 years). Right after we broke up, I took her back to her house then too... T.T But I don't have a choice this time... she might beat me up. We had to switch subway lines at the City Hall station and go all the way to Bupyeong. It takes about an hour. It was a bit late at night, and we must have missed the evening rush. It was a bit weird for both of us to fall asleep there, so we decided to play games on the way. There are about a million games you can play in the subway.... a lot... I'll list them off later. The game we decided to play at the time involved a line drawn on the floor with a key or a coin. Whenever somebody steps over the line with left foot, she wins. If they step over with their right foot, I win. The winner gets to hit the loser with a finger (T/N: Just like in the movie). I am very good at games involving 50/50 chance. I never lose at Odd/Evens... ever (T/N: a game where one person shakes a random number of coins in his or her hands, and the other guesses whether the number of coins is odd or even. Winner takes all the coins). If anyone wants to challenge me, let me know. I need to pay my phone bills. Ah ha! Three high school kids are coming our way! I kept chanting over and over again... right foot... right foot... right foot... right... foot! First kid steps over with his right foot. Yes! Second kid also steps over with his right foot. Third kid... ugh, he steps over with his left foot. It was so close... I could've gotten a perfect victory. Me: It's 2:1, so I'll just hit you once, okay? Her: No way. You hit twice, and I'll hit once. What's her deal? I would've taken the generous deal... Me: Have it your way then. Here we go!

I first place my fingers over her forehead. With my middle finger, I bend it at a hard angle with my thumb... Yes, I am sadistic, so I take my sweet time and wait couple of seconds. She begins to strain her eyes while holding up her shoulders... she gets tired of waiting, and opens her eyes. This was my chance! As soon as she opened her eyes and relaxed her shoulders... BAM!!! Sound of a pumpkin cracking could be heard. People within 5 meter radius started to stare at us. It was a success! It hurts the most when the person relaxes.... I told you I was sadistic. Her: Fine, I won't hit mine so let's just call it quits. She must've gotten really scared. Hah, I knew it... She then made a suggestion. Her: This is unfair, both of us using fingers. Me: What are you talking about? Let's just leave it as it is. Her: No way... I get to slap you on the face instead. Me: Then I'll slap too! Her: How can you even think of slapping a girl on the face? Me: What, girls can't get slapped but guys can? Her: Of course! Want to test out the theory? Me: ... You're right. Girls can't get slapped. Now, if I lose, I get slapped... she is the law, after all... Whoa... five soldiers on leave were coming to our side of the car. They were all privates or PFCs... and they were still very disciplined. 3 meter.... 2 meter... 1 meter... here... we... go!!! “Left foot. Left foot. Left foot. Left foot. Left foot.” .... -_-;; They're on leaves... and they still march on beat? Damn newbies... Her: All right, here we go. Me: Here what go?

Her: Come on.. Me: Hey! Look at that moon. Isn't it lovely? Do you think maybe rabbits really do live there? (T/N: Common East Asian fairy tale) Her: .... Me: Hey, do you remember when you learned the quadratic equation from school? WellRight on the bat, she hits me on the jaw. So that takes care of one hit. There were four left... This was no joke. She was really going to slap me full force in front of all these people. Everyone was staring at us, realizing what was about to happen. 'Fine, just kill me...' I closed my eyes tightly. She lightly touched my left cheek. She was being generous and letting me off easily! She looked like an angel then. She then lightly touched my right cheek. 3rd slap... she touched my left cheek lightly again. 4th slap... She was so nice... and the last slaSMACK! My left cheek was on fire. I literally saw stars... she let me relax with all the light touches and then went hard on the last one... for maximum effect... Everyone that just stared at us is about to die... from stifling their laughter. The five soldiers from before started to snigger even though they didn't know what was going on. I was about to teach them a lesson as a former sergeant, but I left them alone, remembering how crappy life is during the military service... My left cheek became all red and swollen. The guy next to me suddenly stood up.. he knew exactly what kind of game we were playing. 'He's a guy,' I thought, 'he's going to take my side... right?' He walked in opposite direction from our line for a while, then turned around and came toward us. Right foot... right foot... right foot... My mouth became dry and I was stretching my neck beyond capacity. I felt like a death row inmate waiting to hear his name. I was shaking without noticing. 'Sir!! Please!' I shouted inside. I suddenly stood up.

“YES!! Right foot! RIGHT FOOT!!!! WOOHOO!!!” I felt like the king of the world. The guy turned around and grinned. 'Thank you so much!' Me: All righty! Here we go! Her: ... (ha! Losers can't say anything.) I place my finger just like last time. The level of power behind this finger is going to be very, very different. My grudge and sorrow all carried by this single finger... The middle finger starts to shake from strains. The whole arm starts to shake. Everyone around us has become very quiet, too intent on watching us. (I've never seen subway that quiet in my life...) I was about to hit... but then, Me: Hey. Call me oppa once and we'll call it quits. (T/N: Oppa is, traditionally, what girls call their older brother or older male friends. In modern context, this is a common title girls use for their boyfriends.) She has never called me that once. It has always been 'Hey you', 'bastard', 'idiot', 'retard'... These are her pet names for me. Her: ... Oppa... Suddenly, I felt very warm inside. My cheek stopped hurting. It's pretty fun playing games in the subway...

Chapter 13
She was calling me, even though it was really early in the morning... well, turned out it was noon already. During breaks or holidays... or semesters, I need at least 12 hours of sleep to function properly. I was on the internet until 6 am in the morning last night, so I only had 6 hours of sleep so far. “Her”: What's wrong with you? Are you still sleeping in? Me: Uh huh... *Yawn* ... Zzzzzz “Her”: Right... you were on the internet all night again, huh? Me: No, no... I was, uh... studying... -_-;; “Her”: Yeah right... I'll give you a call around 6 P.M., so get some rest then come out, okay? Me: Okay... *Yawn*

zzzz..zzzz..zzz...zzz. *Riiiing!* Me: Hello.... “Her”: Hey, Gyeon-woo. It's me... Can you meet me at Jongro (T/N: One of the more popular place to hang out and have fun in the middle of Seoul)? Me: Okay... gimme 30 minutes... I'll just wash my face and be there. I was in front of the Jongro Bookstore. It was pretty crowded with people waiting for their friends, even for a Saturday night... I was looking for Her around... Suddenly, someone came next to me and nudged my arm... Sun Mi: Hey, Gyeon-woo! Long time no see! How have you been? Me: Hey, Sun Mi... yeah, long time no see... What're you doing here? Sun Mi: What do you mean? I came to see you. Me: Huh? What are you talking about? Sun Mi: I just called you like 30 minutes ago, remember? To meet me at Jongro? Me: -_-;; Yes... that's right... The call I got 30 minutes ago telling me to go to Jongro was not from Her, but from Sun Mi, an old friend of mine. I looked at my watch... It was 7 P.M... She said she'll call me at 6 PM... I took my phone out and saw this...: You Have (5) Missed Calls I was completely screwed... Oblivious to my realization, Sun Mi told me that she was hungry... She was going to buy dinner, and dragged me along... I mean, I'm glad she wanted to have dinner and catch up, but why today of all days? And what the hell was wrong with me, confusing Sun Mi's voice with Her voice even if I was sleeping? It was pretty much clear that God had turned his back on me today. But how can I refuse an old friend who wants to have dinner and catch up? So I followed Sun Mi to a restaurant... And my phone began to ring on the way... It was her, in all probability... what do I say to her? Me: Yes? Hello?

“Her”: Hey! You little... *static* Where the hell are.. *static* *Beep* *Beep* Oh goody... It was out of batteries... is this lucky, or am I screwed even more? Sun Mi took me to a really nice restaurant... I don't usually go to this kind of place, but she wanted to eat here... but the waitress was from another country... I don't think she spoke any Korean, because she started to talk in English. Waitress: Good evening. Are you ready to order? (T/N: in English) Me & Sun Mi: -_-;; Of course, it's easy to figure out what she was saying if you write it out like that... that's like English phrases you learn in middle school. Basically, she was saying 'Good evening, are you ready to order?', but to actually hear it in real life situation... it took me by surprise... Sun Mi and I both looked at each other, not knowing what to do... This is embarrassing... I studied English for god knows how many years... But I tried my best... Me: Oh!! My Gosh!!! ... -_-;; (T/N:... in English) I guess the waitress was at a loss as to what to do as well... She went over to the counter, and this gave us a chance to discuss our predicament.. Me: Hey... what's with this place? You're the one who wanted to eat here... did you know they only use English? Sun Mi: No... this is my first time too... Me: You order it. I have no idea... I'll just have what you're having.. Sun Mi: Everyone says you're really good at English... you do it.. Me: No, that's just BS... Forget English, I barely speak Korean... The waitress came back... damn it, they could probably tell we couldn't speak English, but still they're sticking with the same waitress... Waitress: May I take your order? (T/N: in English) Sun Mi... was looking away. Me: Um... Um... Waitress: Do you need a few more minutes to decide? Me: Huh? What? Slow slow.. speak! Please... (T/N: in English... very broken English)

Sun Mi: Hey... let's just eat hamburger steaks. Me: Hambag Steaki... two!! ok? (T/N: in English... very painful English) Waitress: Yes.... Yes! Gyeon-woo saves the day! It was awesome! ... But... Waitress: Would you like any soup or salad? Me: T.T Dinner was turning out to be a real challenge... Just give us two hamburger steaks... what now... Me: Speak slow please... (T/N: English) Huh... I think she's asking us whether we would like soup or salad as well.. Me: No thank you... Whew! At last... I was drenched in sweat... Even though it was a middle school level English, but an actual conversation can be... confusing. Our... well, my efforts led to us getting the hamburger steaks... It was actually really good. Then, when we were finished, the waitress came back... We were hoping it was just to get the dishes out of the way, but... No... she couldn't just take the dishes away, could she? Waitress: We have a wide assortment of desserts. (T/N: English) What... What did she just say? Luckily, I caught the word “dessert” at the end of the sentence, so we just took a guess that she was asking about desserts. I asked Sun Mi if she wanted anything... Sun Mi wanted coke, and I wanted coffee! Hah! I can take care of this one... Coffee and coke... Me: I would like a cup of coffee and (points at Sun Mi) coke (T/N: English) Haha... Mother, I think Gyeon-woo is ready for a transfer to an American university! So we were enjoying our hard-earned coffee and coke when... I remembered something very, very unpleasant... Her calls... Because of the trouble with the waitress... I had completely forgotten about her calls... The sky was falling... the coffee tasted like poison... I tried to call her, but the batteries were still out. Sun Mi offered her cell, but I chose to use the public phone instead... there was no need to offend Sun Mi by taking a call in front of her...

I pressed her phone number one by one... my fingers were shaking... Her: Hello... Me: Hey... um... It's meHer: You're DEAD!!! Where are you?! Me: You see... what happened was... Her: Shut up! Where are you?!! Me: Jongro... Her: Jongro? What're you doing there? Why haven't you called back? Why were your phone off? And what are you doing in Jongro?! Me: Oh... um... my cell doesn't have any batteries... where are you? Her: Shinchon (T/N: Another popular place to hang out in Seoul). Get over here in 30 minutes! Yeah, right. If I go near her when she's this angry, I'll be beaten to death. Me: Today's not a good day... sorry... there was... uh... there's something I have to take care of.. Sorry.. Her: Fine. Do whatever you want. I'm with a guy right now, so if you don't want to come, don't come. Hah... she's trying to make me jealous. I'm with a girl too, you know... hehehe.... -_-;; If I fall for that and go there, she'll beat the crap out of me. It's not like we're actually dating... and it's not like we ever said that we like each other... But it still kinda hurts... But... I don't feel guilty at all... Even if it kinda hurts inside, preserving my life is much more important. So I told her that I was sorry and that I can't make it that night and hung up. But... That wasn't the end... the next day...

Chapter 14
Yep. There was no way it would've ended like that... The next day... it was Sunday. She called me in the morning... and I was sleeping, of course... To be honest, isn't sleeping in on Sundays a tradition?

It's a sacred tradition in our country, and to even imply that I should violate it... It's the end times, I tell you... She called me and told me to come out... I could tell from her voice that she was still angry... To be fair, I kinda blew her off last night... even I would've been upset. I was really nervous that day. I told myself 'Just be really careful... Don't talk back to her or confront her... just become a Yes-Man for today...' as I went to the place she wanted me to go to. Poor me. T.T It was a small cafe in Shinchon. Back in 94 or 95, internet social groups would meet in places like these, but I haven't been to one since... it changed a lot since... it was really cozy back then (T/N: He's referring to the mysterious, mythical times where internet browsers did not exist yet... it's not a Facebook group or anything like that). She was already there waiting for me. Shinchon was pretty close to where I lived and she lived in Bupyeong... so I guess I was being sluggish. I approached her, but she didn't say anything... She must be really angry... I sat down, but she didn't even look at me... She was just looking at an empty space, and I had no idea what she was thinking... She wasn't her usual self. Her usual self would have involved a water cup to the face along with a nice double side kicks... I would've preferred that, actually... This made me even more nervous... It felt like a scene in Misery... Without saying anything, we drank our coffees. She then stood up, and I followed her. I paid for the coffees... you know, out of guilt. I was getting hungry... it was a little past lunchtime... I took her to lunch, but she still wasn't saying anything... So far, all we've said to each other was “Hey, I'm here.” and “I'm hungry... let's go eat something”. And I was the only one speaking. After lunch, there weren't anything to do... Then she finally said something... “Let's go watch a video.” (T/N: A Video Room is like a private theater with a projection, surround sound, a comfortable couch, and a very private setting. Typically, it is used by couples for... well, when they need privacy.) I've never been to a Video Room with her before... This woman was going to take me to a dark place and beat me to death in private... I am really screwed now... I don't even remember what movie we were going to watch... she just picked one. Then we went to the room... I prayed... that there were some windows around, and that someone would be able to see something if she decided to kill me... and hopefully save me...

But... the room we got was completely isolated from the outside... no one could see what was going on inside... crap... We sat next to each other as the movie started, but she still didn't say anything. It was driving me insane... I couldn't even tell what the movie was about... I just looked at her hands... well, her soon-to-be-fists that will eventually come flying towards my face... so I prepared myself to block anything. The movie was over... and she still hasn't said a thing. I kept looking at her during the movies, and it didn't look like she was watching the movie either. She looked... really out of it. She then said her second sentence of the day. “Let's go drink...” Drink... While I was meeting her, I promised myself something...: 'Hell would freeze over before I drink with you or eat Jajangmyun (T/N: see Ch. 9) with you'. But I couldn't help it... I already told myself to do anything she wants today... So we went to a pub and ordered 2 pints of beer and a fruit salad... A pint is... exactly the amount of alcohol that will cause Her to pick fights with strangers... I tried to drink mine really quickly, then drink hers so that she won't get any alcohol in her system... this was the only way for me to survive tonight... What will I do if she gets drunk and pick fights with someone huge? But... she drank hers in two gulps... and ordered another pint... while I was able to take two sips. I was getting really curious... this wasn't about what I did yesterday at all... With this much alcohol in her... typically she would have already yelled at one of the customers, “Why the hell are you eating snails for? Eat something else!” But she was really quiet... she was about to drink her second pint, but I stopped her. Me: Hey, hold on a minute... What's wrong? Her: What? Just leave me alone... Me: If you go unconscious again, I'm just going to leave you on the floor. Her: Do whatever you want...

Me: Something's obviously wrong. What's up? What happened? I'm really sorry about yesterday... Wait a minute... Is it... “That” day today? A fork flew straight towards me... like those bullets in the Matrix. Despite me trying to stop her, she drank her second pint... three gulps this time. Then she picked up the fork she threw at me and picked up a slice of apple from the fruit salad... then fell asleep on the table. -_-;; I'm not even surprised by something like this anymore.. It was to be expected. And of course, she couldn't fall asleep quietly... she made a big crashing noise as her head banged against the table. People looking? Oh yeah, they were staring at us, but I was used to it by now. Remember, we're the people who threw up in front of the audience of 200 people. (See chapter 9) We haven't really touched the fruit salad... and I only had two sips of my beer... and it hasn't even been 30 minutes since we arrived at the pub... But what was I supposed to do, finish my drinks and eat the salad with her unconscious in front of me? I took care of the bill, picked up her bag and mine... and was about to carry her, but decided to help her up instead. I think I'm qualified by now to write a thesis paper on the most effective ways to transport an unconscious drunk. Supporting mode, piggyback mode, carrying mode... dragging on the floor mode... We got out to the Shinchon streets, but the sun was still out. It was summer, so the daytime was still pretty stretched out... She was passed out drunk... where should I take her? You think... really? Heh heh heh heh... perverts... Well, it wouldn't be the first time if I took her to a motel... too bad we weren't in Bupyeong... that motel owner would probably give us a warm welcome... But, like I've already said numerous times, nothing happened between us. And this time we didn't go to a motel... we went back to the video room. How could I go there twice in one day? ... Hey, why not? I helped her sit down on a chair and picked out a movie. Me: Say, which one of these movies are the longest?

Owner: -_-;; Me: ^^; The owner picked out some weird Buddhist movie that ran for about two and a half hours for us. I sat her down... well, lay her down on the couch. I took a look at her... she was wearing a slightly bleached jean and a tight white tshirt... she wasn't wearing much make up, but her cheeks were bright red, probably from the alcohol... her eyes were closed, and her eyelashes were noticeably long and pretty... But, above all, I was mostly staring at her breasts... -_-;; (...I promise this isn't an erotic novel) A completely closed off space... she was sleeping besides me in a dark place... ..... To be continued....

Chapter 15
She was sleeping... well, not just sleeping, but unconscious after having too much to drink... I put her on the couch, but she wasn't moving an inch. I thought to myself 'What the hell.. she doesn't think of me as a guy or something?' Well, this wasn't the first time she went unconscious from drinking in front of me... and then there's the beatings... It kinda hurt my pride... ha, what am I saying, pride? Objectively speaking, there was a very pretty girl, who seems to be dependent on you, and she was sleeping in front you while looking really cute. ... You can wipe off that drool now... ugh... Any guys here who wouldn't think about kissing here? Anyone? Of course not... and I'm a guy too, after all. So, when I saw her sleeping, it kinda got to me as well. But I can't just kiss her when she's drunk. I have my morals and pride... Even if it means getting slapped, you should kiss a girl when she's awake and normal. But! That would be if I was with a normal girl. With her, if I try to kiss her while she was fully awake... I...

I won't put it in details.... (she censored this part out, see... and I almost got killed in the process too...) In any case... I thought 'Fine. Even if it was stealing a kiss...' and sat down... well, laid, next to her on the couch... The video room was pretty good, the couch was almost a bed- oh... I was facing her... my heart was beating very fast... I could feel my logical side going numb... but I kept looking at her. You know, even couples don't usually take time to look each other in the face for even 10 minutes... And we weren't really going out in the first place, so I never had the chance to really take a look at her.. I thought, 'She's really pretty.' If I kiss her now... I felt like I would be punished greatly for it. But it was a little sad too.. . What kind of person would hurt someone so pretty and lovely and... slightly off like this? I got a bit angry. Images of her suffering and her sadness... I haven't really written much about that side of her, but all those images began to flash before my eyes... For no reason at all, my heart felt heavy... I wish I had been some sort of strength for her, but... I'm not so confident as to whether I have been at all. In any case, we were predetermined to be separated in the near future... When she is able to love someone again... and find someone to love again... I'll leave her side without saying anything... So I wish... I earnestly wish that I don't fall in love with her... And I also pray... that I am not the person she'll fall in love with... When I was thinking this, I felt like I wronged her, even though I haven't done anything.. Hehe... I went closer to her.. there was only a small space between her lips and mine... I could feel her breathe... it was very warm.. Then, she moved around a little and... BURRRP! ... The smell of alcohol reeked from her breath... I almost fainted from the smell... I quickly took out a notebook from my bag and started fanning away the smell.

After I averted that crisis, I just sat down and watched the movie. I was being a jerk after all... the heavens must have punished me for it... or, it was her body's selfdefense mechanism. A monk was chanting in the movie... And I began to fall asleep... I turned towards her and saw her again, which chased away any drowsiness I felt before. Her red face looked bright and pale from the lights of the screen... I was surprised... she was already pale to begin with, and with the lights... I sat up and brushed her hair aside from her forehead. Her forehead was pretty too. I got closer. Slowly, and a bit by bit... My eyes and her closed eyes met... our noses were almost touching each other... and our lips were apart by... And I stayed like that for about a minute... I closed my eyes as well... Then, I raised my head... and kissed her forehead. She moved around a bit, and I quickly went back and pretended to watch the movie. She nudged me and said, Her: Hey... I'm really thirsty... and my head really hurts... Me: Well, who told you to drink like that? ... Idiot... (-_-;;) Her: Can I get some water, please? So I went out to get some water... I didn't get caught! Yes! I must be a prince in a fairy tale or something. My kiss on her forehead woke her up. Right? Maybe I should kiss any sleeping girl... Wake up, women of Korea!!! Hahaha!!! .... -_-;; After drinking some water, she began to talk... She was waiting for me at Shinchon when she, by pure coincidence, ran into Him. He wanted to talk a bit... she didn't want to, but I wasn't answering my phone (batteries...), and He was really desperate... so she agreed only if it was for a little bit. I don't know what He and She talked about... She didn't tell me, and I didn't ask... But I could guess rather accurately. He must have asked Her to start over with their relationship...

That's when she called me, and I was too concerned with that English speaking waitress... I should've just ignored everything and ran to her. I started to regret my choice... I was just listening to her speak... It was her choice, after all... Not some cheesy choice like one between me and Him... but what to do about Him and Her... it was her decision and hers only. I know... that He truly loved Her, and She really loved Him as well... and that She was hurt as much as She had loved Him. And that my purpose in respect to Her was to help treat her wounds... And I could tell... that she was wavering in her resolve... and that she was really confused as to what to do. Even if she decided to renew her relationship with Him, I won't do anything to stop her.... If she is hurt by her chance encounter with Him, I'll be there to tend to her pain... That's the extent of what I can do for her... I thought being with her for the past two to three months had helped her a lot... I was a bit angry at Her for letting a single meeting with Him affect her so much, but... I only wish that her choice is the right one... and that she won't have any regrets.

Chapter 16
After she ran into the person she was in love with before, I stopped calling her... I didn't answer her calls, and even when she asked me to go somewhere with her, I told her I was too busy. Even when she said “Are you going to die, or are you going to come out?”, I didn't go... Yes, I have finally gone insane and now have a death wish... No, not quite. The reason I was avoiding her was... Because I didn't want to influence her decision... But that day, she called me... Her: What's wrong with you, lately? Me: Huh? What do you mean?

Her: You don't come out when I ask you to... and you're not really answering your phone... like you're mad or something. Me: Oh, I'm just busy and tired lately... Her: What about today? Me: Yeah... I'm too busy... and I promised someone to go somewhere... Her: Can't you delay it? Do you have to go there? That call was different from others... Her voice on the phone was different... It felt like there was something different... even her way of speaking was different from usual.. I could tell from her voice that... She was ready to make her decision. Like I said before, it wasn't a choice between her ex-boyfriend and me... but whether to start her relationship with her ex or not... My meaning and purpose in all this was simply whether her heart has healed enough, or if she needs me to be around a bit more... I had thought that the outcome of her decision was irrelevant to me... I thought I wouldn't be hurt either way... In order to see her... well, to be more accurate, I wanted to see the fully healed Her... so I canceled everything else and went to the place she asked me to go to. Sure enough... there was another person with her. Another guy... The person who she was in love with before... This was the first time I saw this person. Yeah... he was good-looking. He looked like a nice person, and was dressed very well. He looked rich too, the kind of guy that's really popular with girls. He was really different from me, who was dirt poor, plain-looking, barely knew what “manners” meant, and wearing whatever I found in the dryers... It's a secret but... I've been known to wear the same underwear for three straight days when I feel really lazy... She introduced us to each other.. “This is my friend, Gyeon-woo...” Yeah... I was her friend... but for some reason, I could only hear the word 'friend'. Friend... Friend... The word 'friend', for some reason, began to dig painfully into my heart. She and I were friends...

“And this is... um... OOO.” (T/N: Name censored by the author, for obvious reasons) I guess she couldn't find the correct title for him. She just told me his name... To her, He was... he wasn't a friend, at least... I ordered coffee... and he ordered coffee... and she ordered a coke. Something is strange though... I was really surprised to see her ordering a coke. Coke... she only orders that when she is really upset about something. But He, who have known her for so long... who have loved her once, didn't seem to know that about her... He was smiling... I thought, 'what's he smiling about, anyway?' I took a closer look at her. She was laughing, but something was different. As if she was nervous about something... It's not too surprising, actually... She was at the same table with her ex and someone who she was seeing (though not going out with). Any girl would be uncomfortable in such setting... but she's the one who arranged this meeting... (I will elaborate on why she did this later) I didn't know then. Actually, I thought, 'she's finally going back to this person... and she just wanted to thank me for everything...' But I was stoic about it... It's the result of my utmost effort to not to fall in love with her... my logical side had won against my emotion. I didn't say anything... It was a rather uncomfortable meeting, and I was meeting a stranger for the first time, no less... I had nothing to say. When she asked me something, she and I talked while he drank his coffee... And when she asked him something, they talked while I drank my coffee... And when there's an awkward silence, she drank her coke. She got up and said, “Let's go... and get something to drink.” Even if she gets drunk and pass out or pick a fight with strangers, it has nothing to do with me now. Because He was there... And then, we all went to a very, very quiet pub for a drink...

Chapter 17
The pub we went to was very different from a typical bar. It was more of a cocktail bar than a pub. There was a quiet and moody ballad song playing in the background.

There were two kinds of table at the pub. There was a circular table, and a typical rectangular one. He was the first one to go in, and he went towards a rectangular table. I came in right after, but I was too engrossed in my thought to notice that he had already gotten a table. As soon as I stepped into the bar, and noticed the mood of the place, I began to think... 'Just like at the cafe, she's talking to both me and him in turns, and she's trying her best to make the situation as comfortable as possible for both of us. At a rectangular table, she would have to choose who she's going to sit next to.... I should go sit at a circular table...' So I went to a circular table. But he was still going towards a rectangular table. She followed me and called out to him to follow us.. She must have thought the same thing. To her, a rectangular table would have been a tough situation. He complained as he sat down that a circular table was inconvenient. I wondered how someone who had loved her could be so thoughtless. Or... maybe it wasn't a thoughtlessness, but his confidence towards me in respect to her. He must have expected her to sit next to him. I really didn't care who she sat next to, as long as she didn't feel uncomfortable. But maybe I was wishing that she would sit next to Him... so that she can demonstrate to me that she had completely healed... Because... that was the reason why I stayed with her all this time... We ordered drinks, but it wasn't a cheerful table at all. I drank, but I was not enjoying myself. She wasn't drinking at all. Many thoughts crossed my mind.. Does she not drink when she's with Him? But pretense and Her... does not mix at all. Maybe she has something to say to me and Him, and that it has to be said under a clear mind. Both He and I got drunk. When you drink with one another, you tend to get friendlier with that person even if he was a stranger, but... that wasn't the case between Him and me. It wasn't intentional, but we didn't really say anything to each other... not that I had anything to say to him... I thought... 'This is enough... She is able to see Him without becoming uneasy, so she must be able to fall in love again.'

I got up from the table. She asked me why I was getting up, and I answered I had to go to the restroom. But I really just wanted to go home. I thought I'll just call her on the way... And I sneaked out of the bar... As I went down the stairs, someone called me. Her: Hey! Where are you going? Me: Why are you following me? Go back inside... Hurry up... Her: Where are you going?! Me: I'm really tired, so I'm going home... Take care when you go back home, okay? Her: Get back inside, or I'll kill you! Me: -_-;; She came down a few stairs, coming near me... I said Me: You know... you could've just told me something like this over the phone... Her: Huh? What do you mean? Me: .......... What I wanted to tell her was that if she wanted to tell me that she was going out with her ex again... it would not have been a big deal. If she called me and told me, I would have just congratulated her. But when I saw Her with Him... and the things she said through her action... I got really angry at her. It was probably because I was drunk... My emotion took over from my logic and... I began to speak from my heart rather than my brain... For the first time, I shouted at her... Me: That's enough! What do you want me to do?! It's not a good place for me to be anyway... What is it exactly that you want to say to me?! Her: ...... Me: If you wanted to tell me this... you could've just called... I told you I was tired and had other things to do! What do you think you're doing?! ... is what I said... This wasn't what I wanted... I just wanted to congratulate her... and wish her happiness in her love... What was wrong with me? Her expression then... That must have been the first time I saw such an expression from a human being. Many different emotions were all mixed up...

Sadness... Heartbreaking... Happiness... Warmth... and a longing to say something... I marveled at the sight while thinking how a single person's expression can contain so many different emotion... She was speaking... even her voice carried too many emotions... “If you want to go... then go... but.... but...” She couldn't finish her sentence, and I turned my back on her and went down the stairs. I headed towards the subway station... I don't know why each one of my steps felt so heavy... In my heart, I felt too many different things as well.... In my wish to congratulate her, a bit of heartbreak was mixed in... In my expectation for me to be happy for her, a bit of sadness was mixed in... Somewhere in my heart, a big gaping hole began to form... The wind that passed through that hole was too cold and painful... But when I was making my way to the station, someone suddenly grabbed my shoulder... and turned me around by force...

Chapter 18
But when I was making my way to the station, someone suddenly grabbed my shoulder... and turned me around by force... Suddenly, something flashed before my eyes... I was stunned for about 5 seconds... I was trying to figure out what had just happened... It was her... She had ran towards me, grabbed my right shoulder with her left hand... like a scene in a romantic movie, turned me around by force... and with her right hand... WHAM!!! Punched me right in my left eye.... it bruised up nicely, like this → o.O Typically, such human body part is referred to as an “eye”. But when an outside force exerts such excess pressure on it, the name changes to something more professional and medical... 'Eyeball', I think they call it.... I covered my eye-, no, eyeball with my hand... and looked at her with my other eye...

Her: Follow me! Me: T.O If I didn't follow her, she probably would have made the other eye an eyeball as well... so I followed her while putting some distance between us. Perhaps... My thoughts were muddled by alcohol... I should've stayed there... and witness her getting over her wounds as she finds happiness after all this time... that was the moment I had wished for... that moment was then... But I walked out on her instead... what was I thinking? I followed her back to the bar. He asked her where she went, but she didn't answer him. I ordered another drink... Me: Excuse me! Part-timer: Yes, sir? Me: Can I get a pint of beer and... do you guys have any eggs? (T/N: a common folk treatment for bruises, especially bruises around the eyes, is to rub a cold egg on the spot... apparently it disperses the blood?) The part-timer stared at my eye...ball... Then the part-timer brought me a pint and an egg... It was a bit embarrassing. He said he drove here and that he shouldn't drink any more... so I drank by myself.... A mug on my right hand and an egg on my left hand, rubbing my left eyeball. I was done drinking, and we were out of food... He looked like he sobered up as well... and she wasn't drinking in the first place. She said “Let's go do some karaoke.” I had no idea then what she was trying to do. Why is she trying so hard to extend this boring and awkward meeting? Why was she extending her own misery? He wanted more time to sober up so that he can drive, so he agreed. I agreed as well... for my right eye's sake. The karaoke place was on the floor above the bar. The three of us got a rather big room. You know, they say that a really good voice singing a good song can give the

listeners a minor orgasm. (T/N: ... I have no idea if this is true...) And usually it makes people want to go pee (T/N:... *shrug*). I was familiar with the concept. When I sing, my friends all want to go to the restroom... You know, to avoid listening to me sing... I don't really like going to karaoke... I suck at singing... But I'm really good at using tambourine... No matter what kind of song, ballad, rock, dance, trot, or whatever, I can accompany it well with the... tambourine... It is my utmost wish that karaoke place would allow people to lip-synch as well... She gave the microphone to me... I gave it to Him... I guess he already knew what he was going to sing, because he started to put in some numbers. It was Lee Seung Chul's “Remember Me, You are my Only One” (T/N: YouTube link for anyone interested... http://www.youtube.com/watch? v=F2fpdnC_MlM ) “I love you ~~ I loved you so much ~~ I've only lived for you ~~ Don't forget me~~ I've only looked for you ~~ and waited for you ~~ and longed for you~~ Please remember me, you are my only one~~~ One day, long after you left me, I felt the pain of separation, feeling of loneliness, and the unquenchable sadness~~~” He was really good... His eyes were fixed on Her. He was singing, so why was I feeling so sad? I barely kept the tears from flowing. Anyone could tell that he was expressing his love in his singing... it was her turn to sing... she chose... Yang Pa's “A'ddio” (T/N: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qrH-tM9cLl4 .. just ignore the announcer in the beginning) “Did you feel~~ that love was a luxury for you? You were so painfully cold~ I understand the tears now~ If there's no way to turn everything back to the beginning, please forgive me~ For not realizing your feelings sooner~~”

She wasn't looking at Him or me... she wasn't even looking at the screens... But, for some reason... I felt like this was her last song for me... He was clapping... the clapping noises were slapping my heart again and again... It was my turn. I suck at singing, and didn't know any song... I didn't want to sing, but the situation was... So I picked a song and began to sing... (T/N: http://goodieds.tistory.com/1275?srchid=BR1http%3A%2F%2Fgoodieds.tistory.com %2F1275 OR http://depression01.tistory.com/29?srchid=BR1http%3A%2F %2Fdepression01.tistory.com%2F29) “I love you~ Forever~~ It's okay~~ if I give you my everything~~ Even if I'm able to live in this world~~ Without you, it's too hard~~ What's left of my life~~ I'll sacrifice it for you~ Don't feel bad~~ And please~~ live on happily~” Of all the songs listed in the book, it had to be this one... I just picked out a random song and... it would've been nice if someone who could sing well sung this song.... We kept singing back and forth until time was up... My watch told me it was 10 PM in the evening... I took my bag as I stepped out of the karaoke room. He slung her bag on his shoulder... She didn't say anything... He lived in Inchon, and she lived in Bupyeong... plus, he had a car with him, so she would have a comfortable ride back home... When she was with me, she would have to take the subway home... we would always be pressured to catch the last car of the day... and it was always crowded and uncomfortable... In front of the building, it was time for us to part. I began to say things that I really didn't believe in. Me: Today was fun... We should hang out next time too.... Him: Yeah... then I'll see you next time too... He probably didn't want to see me next time either... She was still in the restroom... and he was holding onto her bag... I was thinking about waiting for her... but then I thought that if I saw her, I would cry like an idiot. It wasn't because I had to part with her... or the loneliness from the fact that she doesn't need me by her side any more... I didn't think that I was in love with her either...

Just... that's how I felt then.. so I left before she got out of the restroom... I had to go to the Shinchon-Hyundai Department Store to catch the subway (T/N: Some popular department stores in Seoul get their own designated subway station.) ... I wanted to look back to see if she followed me, but my logical side ordered me... to just go home... I was in front of the escalator that linked the department store to the subway station... I smoked a cigarette... and stayed there till the first one burned out... I took out a second one... For some reason, there were a lot of couples around me... I was just standing there for about 10 minutes... then... I saw her running towards me from far away! I squinted my eyes and looked again... I don't think it was her... Heh... what was I thinking... I took the escalator to the station... I was about quarter way down when... suddenly, I heard a voice calling for me... “Gyeon-woo!!” I looked up the escalator. It was her!! She was calling for me from above!! But the distance between us began to increase... The escalator kept going down... I was halfway down now... For some reason, I thought that if I kept going down, I'll never get to see her again... I was so happy that... I weaved through the people who were going down the escalator and ran up towards her. And then I passionately embraced her. Everyone around and on the escalator began to stare at us... The people on the stair next to us.. and the people outside the doors... everyone was... Then, while everyone was watching... she began to beat the crap out of me with her bag. You know how in movies, a couple kisses or embraces each other in public after a tense moment, the crowd around them claps for them? But in reality... it doesn't really work that way. They just stared at us while probably thinking, 'Nutjobs...' I took the subway headed towards Inchon with her... until we were near the Bupyeong station, we didn't say a thing... I thought about all the things that happened between us while I was with her... I still don't know what she is thinking...

After we got off the subway, we could've taken a cab... but she said she wanted to walk a bit... so we walked side by side. She said... Her: Gyeon-woo... Me: Hmm? Her: Even though he was a better singer... I liked your singing better... Me: ..... Her: And... I like the train that I ride with you better than his car... Me: ...... This was the end of her wandering. She no longer has any wounds or pain. And I am with her... but for a completely different reason... We arrive at her house... I asked.... Me:... Um... why did you beat me up at Shinchon? Her: Isn't it obvious?! Idiot! Who gave you permission to hug me?! Epilogue – She wanted to demonstrate that her wounds were healed through action to me... and that's why she met Him in front of me. It wasn't that she was meeting me in front of Him... But I can't confidently declare that the reason why I am by her side is love... Nor can she... The next story was about a month ago... She started to read this after her friend told her about it... if she reads this, she'll laugh out loud... haha... Next time, I'll write something funnier. ^^

Chapter 19
The rain was really pouring on today!! It really sucks when you have to go outside on a rainy day, right? Your clothes get all wet... But if she tells me to come out... I go out. Why? Because she'll be mad... well, she'll beat me... Her: What are you up to today?

Me: It's raining, so I'm going to watch a movie at home... I rented “Touch Me.” ^^ (T/N:Ahh... don't you just love pun humor? The movie... well, porn he rented is apparently called “Jup-chok”, meaning “contact” with a rather lewd implication. She thinks he's saying “Jup-sok”, or “Connection”, which is a romantic/melodrama movie similar to You've Got Mail, but waaaaaaay more sappy. Anyway, I'll be replacing it with something that fits her in the translation.) Her: “Punch Me”? Me: -_-;; Her: I don't have anything to do... you should come out with me. Me: No! I'm busy! (T/N: Hooray! Another pun humor... this time, he's saying he's busy, or “Bah-Pah”. She thinks he's saying “Bap-Hah”, which would mean he's cooking rice. Gotta love it...) Her: What business? Me: No, B-U-S-Y! ... Ugh, damn OneShot 01X... (T/N: OneShot 01X is a very old cellphone model that was rather notorious for its unreliable performances. The reason She is confusing what he is saying is because his phone is really crappy and breaking up his voice) But how can I say no to her? She wants me there... I have to treat her well while I can. ^^; So I promised to see her at Jongro in the afternoon. I casually washed my face, ate something for lunch, put on my clothes, took my cellphone... opened the door, and went outs - Oh wait, I forgot my wallet. Damn.. So I went back to get my wallet. I checked how much I had and... I only had 3000 won ($3) on me... crap.. “Hey, oppa (what girls would call their older brother), I'm borrowing some of your money. Mom's not home, so... I'll pay you back tomorrow!” -_-; God damn it! She took all my 10000 won bills ($10)! All of them! Well, there were only three of them in there, but... How can she leave me with absolutely nothing? Over all these years, she probably took few hundred thousand won from me this way. I called Her again. Me: Hey... I really can't go today. I don't even have money for the bus anymore... Her: What do you mean you don't have it 'anymore'?

Me: ... it's a long story. Her: Then just come out.. You still have your subway pass, stupid! So, I went out to see her with a subway pass and three thousand won. This... was not a good experience for me. I would rather not go out than see her without any money on me... I can't suggest going to get something to eat... I can't suggest going to a cafe... I am forced to just follow her and do whatever she wants to do. Man, this is embarrassing... It's still raining... Of course, I brought an umbrella. What kind? There are those tiny folding umbrellas, medium sized ones, and big ones that looks more like a parasol. I brought the big one, and she brought the tiniest type, so we just decided to share my umbrella while she carries hers. The handle on my umbrella looks kinda like the club head on a golf club... Even though we had an umbrella, it was still raining hard, and our shoulders and pants got really wet. So we decided to go to a cafe and order two steaming hot coffee... This cafe was on the first floor, and it had huge windows for walls... it was pretty fun to just watch people passing by. Outside, a couple was sharing an umbrella. The guy was holding on to the umbrella, and the girl was staying really close to him. Suddenly, the guy ran away from the girl while taking the umbrella. The girl? Got drenched in the rain. The girl chased after the guy, but the guy was really fast. So she kept chasing him for about a minute in front of the coffee shop... kinda like “Catch me if you can!” situation on a beach. The guy finally let himself get caught, but the girl was already soaked. I thought she was going to get angry, but... she just half-heartedly complained and hit his chest in a very cutesy way. We left the cafe... it was already getting dark... unlike the summer, the days were getting shorter... but it was still raining. We were still sharing my umbrella. Of course, I was still holding onto it. After a while... I imitated that guy in front of the cafe and ran away from her. Her? Also got drenched in the rain.

She started chasing me while screaming that she'll kill me when she catches me... I got really scared, so I let her caught me... Well, to be honest, she was fast like a freak... so I got caught in less than 10 seconds. She threw the umbrella she was holding at me. As I picked it up. “Hey! Why didn't you just use this umbrella instead of throwing it at me? God, you're so stupi-” And she almost punched me for that... It was the Bupyeong station. I have to take her to her house. Typically, we would take a cab, but we took the bus instead... why? Because I was broke, she used up hers and... we were both broke. The bus station was a bit far from her house, so we had to walk for a while. The rain had stopped by then... I carried my umbrella like a sword.. you know, like D'Artagnan... The way to her house from the bus station was really creepy. It was really dark, and the streetlights were going in and out periodically... and the lights were only going as far as the base of the streetlight. We were about halfway there... about 10 meters ahead, a streetlight was set up right next to a telephone pole.. Near the telephone pole were three guys smoking cigarette. My intuition told me that they were the local gangsters. Our eyes met as we approached them. It was too late to backtrack now. She was right next to me. I really wished they wouldn't pick a fight with me. If there was only one person there, I could do something about it. Unless the other guy was some professional boxer or something, how bad would the fight be? I am a sergeant in the ROK Army... Reserve, you know. Even if there were two, I could go all out... and even though I may get hurt, I would be able to protect her. But there were three guys. Short of me suddenly becoming a professional boxer or something, two guys would keep me busy while the third... In that short time, I tried my hardest to figure out a way to get out of the situation... I took her hand... in case we would have to run. We got closer and closer to the gangsters... Aside from the reason that I was holding Her hand, my heart was pounding.

As we passed them by, I thought “Thank God”. But then... “Hey, *beep*

Chapter 20
As we passed them by, I thought “Thank God”. But then... “Hey, @$$hole!” I thought that this was my chance and began to ran, but She stopped in her track. Man... all we have to do is just run... what is with her? Having no other choice, I turned around. One of the gangsters leaning on the telephone pole spat on the floor... and the other two approached us and said.. “Hey, looking good there.” Gangsters, past or present, in movies or in reality, can be really simple. Whenever they're harassing a couple passing by, they always say “Hey, looking good there.” like a corny movie line. The two guys came closer. 'The one leaning on the telephone pole must be the leader...' The two guys couldn't be helped, but in order for me to win, I thought, I had to fight the leader of the group... I stood face-to-face with the two gangsters. She was right behind me... The gangsters were looking at her.. @$$holes! Look at me! Me! What, I'm not sexy enough? ... -_-; The leader of the group approached me... and said “Hey, get lost while you can.” I smirked.. sexily... Heh... Leader: I said, get lost! Me: What's with you, harassing a passerby like this? Leader: You got a death wish, you little... Suddenly, he threw a punch at me!! Me? My body has been thoroughly trained by Her fists! So I thought 'This won't be too bad...'

... and bravely stopped the punch... with my eyes... o.O I got punched once... You're DEAD!! I made a fist and threw a punch towards his face... He stopped it... with his nose... must be an expert. -OSo... With the leader of the group, I kept fighting back and forth, rolling on the ground still wet from the rain.. Only in movies would you see fights with double-step sidekicks and roundhouse kicks... in real fights, that doesn't happen. Falling forward, falling backward, hitting with elbows, biting, pinching... scratching... -_-;; Even during all that, all I could think about was wishing that she would just run away. At this rate, if the fight drags on, the other two will... After stopping the guy's punch with my valiant beer belly, I thought... 'I'll take him out in one hit' After getting hit, I retreated a little... and... raising my toes, I kicked him in the testicles... using my skills as a Taekwondo First Dan master (T/N: This is the lowest black belt level) He started foaming in his mouth as he fell down... It was dirty, but I had no choice! I had to finish this quickly and run away... After confirming that he was curling in a fetal position, clutching onto his family jewels, I turned towards her. The other two tries to grab her hands. I yelled, “Hey! Get your hands off of her!” And went towards the two remaining gangsters. They were facing me, while she was behind me. My umbrella with a golf clublooking grip was on the ground next to her... They hesitated, since their leader was on the ground, still foaming on the mouth... Suddenly, I felt a gust of wind pass by me, and... one of the gangsters fell down, screaming “Ahhhhh!!!!” Then, I heard a swish as the other one fell down.

You guessed correctly. She grabbed my umbrella and hit the two gangsters on the head with that golf clublooking handle! She... is really, really good at kendo. I was dragged to a kendo gym and sparred with her once... and even though I was wearing the protectors, I almost fainted. But... It was an umbrella with a really hard handle, and they weren't wearing protectors, AND they got hit on the head... They probably got their skulls cracked... Around us, about 3 meters away in front was the guy still clutching onto his balls while foaming... next to us was a guy who was clutching on his head... and another one doing the same... My face was red, and I was panting... and She was holding onto the umbrella like a sword... she actually looked pretty cool... anyway, that was the scenery here. A local security officer was passing by... and after seeing this picture, he used his walkie-talkie to call the police... security officers have walkie-talkie now? A police officer with several other security officers appeared... Man... where were you guys? Why come now, when the situation has been taken care of? And now, we're at the local police station... Her and I were sitting on a comfortable couch... And next to us, the three idiots were sitting on a hard, wooden bench. I was covered in mud and water, but she looks perfectly normal. And the idiots... I can't even describe them... I guess it still hurts.. They did a background check on us.. We're absolutely clean, not even a misdemeanor. Well, I'm probably guilty for several public urination after drinking, but I've never been caught... The idiots? They each had assault and battery charges on them, first time, second time, and fourth time offenders each. They were screaming that they'll bring the doctor's diagnosis with them... @$ $holes... They're claiming that they were just smoking cigarettes and that I started beating on them... Does that even make sense? I'm with a girl, and I'm going to pick a fight with gangsters who supposedly were leaving us alone? Three of them, no less! Of course, the police officers didn't believe them either... but... we didn't look hurt at all while they're still pale... the leader guy actually was turning yellow...

They're keeping complete silence on the fact that She beat the living crap out of them... They're saying I beat all three of them... At least they know that it's embarrassing... I was about to call my parents, but because Her parents were closer, they contacted them... Oh boy... After 10 minutes, Her parents came into the police station... and after 20 minutes, her uncle came in. Remember her uncle, right? I mentioned him a few times before... the district attorney... After her uncle talked with the police officers, we all came outside of the police station. Then, with her parents, we went to Her house... I'm really nervous now... Brrr.... I already left a very bad impression on her uncle... I'm inside her house now... Her and I are facing her parents and her uncle as we all sat on couches in the living room. I was so nervous that I began to feel numb...

Chapter 21
We're at Her house... Her and I are sitting on a couch, and her mother and uncle are sitting on a couch opposite of us. They're looking straight at us... And her father sat on the sofa next to ours... the kind that the head of the family sits on. I was so nervous, my body began to twitch and shiver a little... I've met her uncle before... in jail... But this is the first time I've met her parents... I've talked with them before briefly on the phone, but to see them face to face... I could feel my body go rigid.. Even if the circumstances was a joyful event where I was formally visiting her family, they would still wonder if I'm the kind of a guy that's worthy to be with their precious only daughter... so how would they feel when they see a guy who's still glowing from the warmth of a ... police station? It would've helped if I was dressed up a bit... but I was just in a fistfight with a bunch of gangsters in a muddy street... I was a mess...

The silent couple of minutes passed like two or three hours... Her mom brought me a cup of juice... I was getting thirsty from my nervousness.. so I drank it in one gulp... her father began to speak... "You... why don't you clean yourself first? Honey, could you get him a set of clothes?" So I unexpectedly got to shower in a stranger's house... in a girl's house, no less... I went to Her room. She had her own small bathroom attached to the bedroom... I guess she's the only one using it... ^^ I became the first guy to take a shower in her bathroom ^^ Wow! The bathroom scent is great! You know how a girl's room smells much nicer? There's the smell of her cosmetics but... the undefinable scent of a mature woman... ^^;; That scent was in the bathroom as well... The bathroom at my house is shared by all five members of our family... the funny thing is, everyone has their own toothbrushes... oh, wait, no, I meant we all have our own soaps... -_-;; Toothbrushes are meant to be for one person... Hm... Anyway, if someone accidentally uses someone else's soap while they're still sleepy, then our family goes into a "Soap War" mode... Everyone intensely guards their own soaps... I once accidentally used my little brother's soap, and the next day, I saw him taking a bath while completely dissolving my soap in the bathwater... For your information, this isn't some mental problem that we have... it's more like a hobby... -_-; So the bathroom is very dirty... Soaps are everywhere... and there are my sister's yellow hair, my brother's brown hair, my black hair, my mom's curly hair, and my dad's hair all harmoniously... blocking the sink... In any case, I've never seen such a clean and pleasant smelling bathroom in my life... the towels are all dried up nicely on the racks... and there were many bath products that I've never even seen or heard before... I took my clothes off and turned on the shower... warm water began to come out... all the nervousness in my body dissolved out... there is a bath towel in here (T/N: The kind you scrub yourself with in the shower, not to dry)... haha! This must be the one she uses... Yes!

I used the towel that she uses everyday and... (T/N: Anyone else seriously creeped out at the moment? :-D) There's a bath soap here as well... is it a body cleanser? I put the soaps... or shampoo-like lotion on her pleasant-smelling towel and scrubbed away... I felt really clean afterwards... She said outside... "I have your change of clothes outside on the bed." I went out of the showers... There is a neatly folded clothes on the bed.. There's an underwear there as well... -_-;; They must be new, since they didn't take it out of a box... and it must've been her dad's... I wore it in any case... ^^; The pants... oh boy... this is her jean... There's no way this will fit me... I'm not exactly fat or anything, but how can a thin girl's jean fit a guy like me? I opened the door a little and got my head poked out. At once, her parents and uncle turned to stare at me... As I completely got their attention... I said... "Um, the pants is a bit too small for me.." How embarrassing... what is this, really? In front of her parents, no less... So, she lent me her overalls... I went back into the bathroom while she was getting it, of course... I wore the overalls... it fit me quite well... but the pants ended way above my ankle... a Michael Jackson style, if you will ^^;; And I picked up the shirts... It... has laces on it... -_-;; In the middle there's a very pretty lace... Grrrrr.... This must be her idea of a prank... How can she pull a prank in a situation like this, when I'm dying of nervousness? ... What can I do?? I poked my head outside the room again and called for her... and... I went back into the bathroom... with the bathroom door between us, we talked to each other... Me: Hey! Are you kidding me?! Get me a proper shirts for crying out loud! Laces... Her: Hahaha!! But I picked out the prettiest shirts. Me: -_-;;

She left me another shirt... this one wasn't too bad... though it looked familiar... Oh yeah... this is the t-shirt that she was wearing when I first met her on the subway... how nostalgic... I put the shirt on and looked at the mirror. Yellow t-shirts, blue overall that only goes to my ankles... I was reminded of a song... When Daddy goes to work, Popopo! When Mommy hugs me, Popopo! That's right... my clothes would remind everyone of Popopo (T/N: This is a very popular kid's show in Korea, similar to Barney or Sesame Street, but meant for a much younger crowd.) I have to face her parents looking like this... tears are fogging my eyes... I really wanted to go back into the bathroom and just wear my mud-covered clothes, but I decided to go outside instead. She begins to laugh as if she went insane.... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Her mom begins to laugh... and her dad... and her uncle... I want to cry... But thanks to this, the atmosphere became a lot lighter... turning disasters into opportunities, I guess... hehe... So we all sat down on the couches again. They must have heard what happened from her while I was taking a shower.. Her mom thanked me. Her family thinks that I fought those gangsters 3 to 1 and beat them all up in order to protect Her. The truth is... she kinda saved me from them... Without her kendo skills, I probably would have become minced meat... And like all meetings between guys and their girl's parents, they began to ask me all these questions about myself... I sweated nervously.. This was the scariest question: "What do you want to be when you grow up?" Of course, they asked "What are your plans for the future?", but it's the same basic question... I like living an ordinary life... I don't have any outrageous dreams... I wanted to say "I want to marry into a rich family..." -_-;; but I couldn't say it.

It's time for me to leave now... I said good night to her parents and went to the front gate with her. Me: Hey, how can I go all the way home looking like this? Her: What's wrong? You look really cute! Hahahaha! Me: T.T It's the subway... I was too embarrassed, so I pretended to sleep the minute I sat down... the kids all looked at me like they know me from somewhere... She then called me... Me: Hello? Her: Hey, Gyeon-woo... Um... about your clothes... Me: My clothes? Oh, right.. My clothes are in your bathroom.. Her: Yeah, about that... I'll give it too you later, okay? *snickers* Me: That's fine... but... what's with the snickering? Her: Oh it's nothing... get home safely, okay? *snickers* Me: Okay. Bye. I hung up the phone and thought for a moment.... Oh no... my underwear... I should've brought it with me in my pockets or something... Damn... I was too distracted by everything else... Today is an unforgettable day... "Mommy!!!!!" P.S. Today's the Korean Language Day. So, unlike my usual style (forget grammar rules, acronyms, writing phonetically), I decided to fix everything. Please forgive me if I still made any mistakes. (T/N: This is true... this translation took 1/3 the time that I normally take because for once, he wrote it more or less conventionally...) On 9 O'clock News on MBC, there was a report on the netizen’s language culture. I guess it was a special report because it's the Korean Language Day. Yonsei University's Korean Professor said that the netizen's language is also a legitimate development of Korean language, and rated it positively.

And some college student said in the interview that since such writing style is not being used in conversations, but in chatting or in cyberspace, there's really no problem. And some middle school girls said that you get isolated from everyone else if you don't know the netizen language... -_-; There were also the opinions that a traditional culture was being destroyed, and that such usage was damaging Korean as a language. I'm not so sure which side is correct... because the medium of conversation in this case are keyboards instead of one's mouth, I think the language is being developed for the sake of convenience. I really think both sides have valid points. Oh.. and someone sent me an email from Unitel (Korean internet server company)... he basically said that "a nation's language is that nation's order and identity. You're 25, so you're not exactly young, and your writing is being enjoyed by a lot of people. Also, since this is on the internet, Korean-Americans or Koreans oversees would read it as well. So you should write using a more proper style." Hehe ^^ My Sassy Girl was written from the start with a bit quirky(?) (T/N: That's an understatement of the century...) style of writing, and the atmosphere created from such style has become part of the story... so I'm keeping the style. But if I write anything else online, I'll be sure to take your advice. Oh, and I'm not the kind of a guy who ignores a nation's identity... Whenever I write personal letters or reports for school, I use proper grammar. ^^;

Chapter 22
Out of nowhere, she asked me... Her: Hey. When do you think that a girl is at her prettiest? Me: When she's naked. ... What? Her: ..... Me: Why, are you going to take off your clothes? Her: Stop kidding around! I'm serious! Me: I'm not kidding! What's more beautiful on this Earth than a woman's body?! Her: Hey!!! You're talking like you've seen a lot of those! Me: -_-;;; Haha... ha... ha....

She must have something in mind to ask that kind of a question... but I can't really tell what she's thinking... Well, whenever I see a girl playing the piano, I feel dreamy. Haha... I go completely insane when I see a naked girl, of course. So I told her like so... Me: Well, for me... whenever I see a girl playing the piano, I get all weak-kneed. Her: Really? Is that a good thing? Me: Sure.. you know, like you're drunk... Hmm... you know... when you're being hypnotized by something... Her: I see... what's your favorite music then? Me: Ballade Pour Adeline... I think I started listening to it when I was still a fetus in my mom's belly... (T/N: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MicK4vwn_zE) Her: Enough!! Was it yesterday? She called me really early in the morning... I was sleeping so well... But when she said "Hello" on the phone, I was completely awake.... thinking "Oh dear God... what have she done this early in the morning already..." Her: Hello? Me: What the... why are you calling so early? What is it? What happened? Her: Why are you getting all worked up for? Me: Huh? Me? Oh... I guess you're right.. Haha... Her: Hey, you know that our 100th day is in a couple of days, right? Me: Wow! 100th day already? Her: Yeah, heh heh ^^ *blushes* Me: I see... 100th day of what, though? Her: What the... it's the 100th day since we've met! Me: Oh, really? Haha... I'm pretty bad at remembering stuff like this... I can't even remember birthdays well... Anyway, she calls me out of nowhere in the dawn just to remind me that our 100th day is approaching... what a devious girl... Hmm... Even I know that the 100th day for a couple is pretty important... but should we celebrate the 100th day as well?

But I decided to put some meaning into the 100th day. Few days ago, she met the guy she used to be in love with, and she was tempted a bit, but by her own will and choice she erased her wounds, and is now living life bravely ^^. So, I thought it would be nice to celebrate the fact that she got over the pains of breaking up on our 100th day... But there really isn't anything that I can do for her... My friends have been fired from that amusement park a long time ago after her birthday... and my other friends heard about that incident and haven't been returning my calls lately... I decided to just hang out with her all day... The day before our 100th day, she called me again... Her: You know it's tomorrow, right? Me: Yeah... so what should we do? Her: Let's just hang out... Hah.. she wants to just hang out too... I'll just get hit a couple of times... It's today... 3 months and 10 days went by really fast... It feels like the time I carried her and wandered around the Bupyeong station was just yesterday... We decided to meet at that cafe... "that cafe?" You ask? You know, the one that we first went to. She was waiting for me there. We sat down at the table that we used the first time we've met. Just like then, she ordered two coffees without asking me... and she said.. "I'll pay for it this time... ^^" While drinking our coffees, we began to talk about the first time we've met. We naturally laughed at all of our old antics... I said "Hey, let's go to that restaurant from our second day! You're paying again!" So we went to that restaurant... and in case she takes my share again, I ate the whole thing really fast even though it was really hot, tears and snots flowing down... We went around the shopping district in the Bupyeong station, then we decided to go to the department store so that I can get her a gift.. I don't really remember the name... was it Hee-Mang (T/n:"Hope")? In front of the department store, I pointed my finger at it and said

Me: Hey! I'll get you one thing you want in this department store, no matter what it is! Her: Really? You're not kidding, right?! Me: Of course!! ... As long as it's under 50,000 won (T/N: $50) He: -_-;; And we went into the department store.. ^^

Chapter 23
We were inside the department store. I don't like buying stuff from a department store too much... mostly because of my prejudice against them... you know the rumors, right? Though I'm sure not every department store does this... They buy stuff from the local street market, arrange them around so that they look fancier, then sell them at ridiculously expensive price... So I've never really bought anything from a department store.. .except a formal suit I bought after graduating high school. However, I really like window shopping. It's really fun to just walk around and look at bunch of different stuff they have there. She walks over to the Women's Business Suit section, and I followed her. Her: Hey! This one's really pretty. Gyeon-woo, isn't this really pretty? Me: Why? Are you going to wear that? Her: What's wrong with that? Me: You? Wearing a business suit? With a short skirt like this? Her: Hey! I wear skirt! … Sometimes... Me: Yeah? Then try it on. At this point, as if following a script, a sales representative appeared out of nowhere. “That's one of our latest product, following the most recent fashion trend. You really have good eyes, ma'am. Would you like to try it on?” She threw her purse at me as she entered the changing room. Hehe, I've never seen Her wearing a skirt before...

Me: Wh- Wha... Hey.... Hey... Uh... Her: What? Say it out loud! Me: Whoa... you have really nice legs... Her: -_-;; Saleswoman: Wow! It looks very good on you! Shall I pack it up for you? Her: How much is it? Saleswoman: It's priced at 1.2 million won ($1,200) Me: 1.2 m- million? It's just pocket change... 1.2 million pocket change... Her: No way... it's too expensive... She went back to the changing room and came out with her own clothes. Though it's not as expensive, she looked more beautiful wearing her own style of clothes... I could just say screw it and buy it for her... I took dad's credit card with me today, after all... But... I then saw a vision... Mom: W-What is this?! 1.2 million won for clothes?! Dad: What are you talking about? What clothes? Mom: Look at this!! 1.2 million!! Me: (not looking at them in the eyes) Hey, uh... I'm going to the library to study... Mom: You're going to the library to study? Stop joking around and do the dishes! Mom & Dad: !#$@#%$^#%&%^&^#$%&^%#%$^$%^&$%^#^%@$^#$%^ Mom: I can't believe you! All those time when I complained and complained that I didn't have anything to wear outside, and you buy one for some whore?! “Dear Mom and Dad: Please forgive me for using the credit card... When this world changes for the better and become a world without clothes, I will come back and make it all up to you.” The next day, advertisement saying “Gyeon-woo, we forgive you for everything. Please just come back to me” are posted in all the daily newspaper in the countrHer: Hey! Stop daydreaming and let's go!

She wakes me up from my vision and hands me the 1.2 million suit. In a moment of desire for childish revenge, I flick a booger at it before handing over to the sales rep. And before the sales rep finds out, I took Her hands and fled the scene of crime. If I get caught, I might actually have to buy the clothes for 1.2 million... We went around the department store without getting Her any presents... and it was already nighttime. Though we pulled a lot of pranks while looking around Her: Trying out expensive high heels and kick a pillar when the sales rep is not looking Wiping hands on a silk-woven clothes on display after going to the restroom Me: Taking pictures of myself while posing in inappropriate position with the store mannequins. When someone else is about to buy a 100,000 won shoes ($100), comment “Hey, didn't we see that shoe on sale for 80,000 won at the department store next door?” Her & Me: Riding the escalator the wrong way Pushing every button before getting off the elevator After all the frolicking around, we got pretty hungry. We were like little kids, messing around the place... Maybe we'll try the Blue House next? (T/N: The Blue House, or the Blue-Roofed House, is the presidential residence of the President of South Korea) It was about dinnertime as well, so we left the department store without buying her a present. Actually... we kinda forgot that we went into the store to get Her a present... And then... it was nighttime...

Chapter 24
After completely forgetting that we went into the department store to get Her a present, we left the place. Can't really think straight when you're hungry, right? Her: Whoa, it's dark outside already. Me: Yeah... let's go get something to eat. Where do you want to go? Her: Well... um... that is... see, I...

Me: What? Say it out loud! Her: I... I want to eat... THAT. Me: That? What's 'that'? A puppy? Snake soup? Her: No! Geez! You know... THAT. Me: What is “THAT”?! Her: That... jajangmyun... Me: …... So, we went to the Chinese restaurant.... T_T (T/N: Refer to Chapter 9 if you forgot what happened with them and the infamous jajangmyun (black bean noodle) http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293715/board/thread/55549493? d=71464970&p=4#71464970 ) But... I mean, this was our 100th day anniversary. I mean, I wasn't planning to take her to a fancy five star restaurant or something... but jajangmyun of all things? 'You can barely afford jajangmyun anyway', you say? ...I stole dad's credit card, remember? I mean, ramen would have been a better choice. Or we could not eat at all... But... but.... why jajangmyun of all things... Me: You want the double-sized bowl, right? Excuse me! Could we get a double-bowl jajangmyun and a jjamppong? (T/N: Spicy, seafood-broth-based noodle. I personally hate it, but it's as popular as jajangmyun and is often sold in same places where they sell jajangmyun. http://c.ask.nate.com/imgs/qrsi.tsp/5612755/7738181/1/1/A/7t6uyg.jpg ) What? You thought I was going to eat jajangmyun after what had happened last time? Our orders came out, one jjamppong and one double-sized jajangmyun... Her: Hey, Gyeon-woo? Me: Hmm? Her: So... Me: What? What's wrong with you today? Speak your mind. Her: So... that jjamppong looks really tasty.

Me:... Her: Let's switch. Me: T_T A double-sized jajangmyun now stands before my eyes... which are flowing with miserable tears. After dinner, we went to go see a movie, then we went to a cafe. And now, it's already midnight. Looks like I can't go back home tonight, with all the buses and subway closed for the day. I'll probably have to spend the night at my aunt's house... You know Gyungin Women's college near Kyesan? My aunt lives in the apartment right in front of that place. Before they built the college there, the place near the apartment was really empty and quiet... but with the college there, there were a lot of girls walking around the place. My aunt was thinking about renting some of her rooms out to the students, and I was thinking about moving in to live with my aunt when that happened. What if there's no room left for me, you say? Well, I wouldn't mind having a roommate. ^^ Her: Gyeon-woo, there's a place we have to go. Me: 'have to go'? Her: Yeah... Me: Where? Her: Just follow me. Me: It's midnight already. Don't you have to go home? Her: You can't go home either, right? Me: My aunt lives in Kyesan. I can just crash there. Her: Just... follow me. We took a cab, and went to the place she wanted to go to. I've never been in this area before... couldn't even tell which way was which. I followed her after getting off the cab, and we went to some cafe. Her: My mom's friend runs this cafe... Me: Oh really?.. so, why are we here? Her: Let's go in...

Me: Here? The signs are all off... aren't they closed right now? Her:.... When we went inside, there were couple people around... oh, God, there was a familiar face. That couple... from the double date (T/N: Chapter 11, http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293715/board/thread/55549493?p=15 ) and her three friends were there. Couple-Girl: Finally, the guests of honor are here. Okay, everyone ready? The couple sit together as if they're joined at the hip... in a way, they're made for each other... After sitting down in one table, we exchange pleasantries... And just sat there for about a minute or two. ............................. ............................. She must have asked her friend to rent out her friend's mom's cafe. I think this was her first time planning something special for me... The cafe was filled with comfortable chairs, glass tables, and there was a white piano in the corner. Each table had a spotlight of its own from the ceiling... but they were all turned off. Only the light above the table we were sitting around were on, painting pretty green silhouette on everyone's face as it illuminated the room against the darkness. Her friend comes in with a cake, and sets it up on the table. There were two candles on the tiny cake. I can almost feel the wavering of the two flames. I think I can hear music playing from somewhere... “Even if~ we fly across the skies freely~ don't be surprised~” (T/N: The Classic's popular song “The Magic Castle”... though the version sang by a little kid became far more popular http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u-QeUBR9Wv4) Her and I blow the candles together. Everyone around us clapped, shouting “Happy 100th!” I was really moved... I couldn't even imagine that she would go this far to prepare an event like this... But I didn't cry. Why? Because I'm a man... -_-

Her: Here... I have a present for you. Me: Present? You even got me a present? Her: Yeah... thanks, Gyeon-woo. Me: For what? Her: Just... for everything. Open the present. Me: Yeah... but... I didn't get anything for you at the department store... Her: That's okay... go ahead and open the present... Me: Yeah... The box was as big as a crate of apples. I went through the pretty wrapping papers, and felt... clothes? I wasn't exactly following the latest fashion trend, so I guess she got me some clothes to wear... Couple: So? What is it? Friends: What is it? The box is pretty big... There were several clothes in the box, so I kept searching around with my hand then pulled out the smallest one I could find... It was dark everywhere... but something was shining nonetheless... A... skull? Yes... that's right... the glow-in-the-dark skull underwear... that I left it at her house after the gangster incident (T/N: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0293715/board/thread/55549493? d=126441896&p=19#126441896 ) I looked at all the other “presents” she got for me. Her... “presents”... were all the clothes I left at her house after meeting those gangsters in the street.... I could have taken out a shirt, or pants... but underwear of all things... Friends: Whoa! You guys are close enough to give each other underwear already? Couple: Haha... the skull is kinda cute. Me: …. I didn't buy those underwear. As mom had all the spending money in the house, she picked out everyone's clothes... but for some reason (I guess she likes glow-in-thedark), at least one-third of all the underwear she buys is glow-in-the-dark. Aside

from this skull one, there's also one that glows “I LOVE YOU” in the dark... (T/N: “I LOVE YOU” is in English) The worst of them all is the Carrot underwear... you know how people sleep in their underwear in summer because it's too hot? So... when I'm wearing that one... at night, an orange carrot glows right where... Mom must think I'm still in fourth grade or something... If anyone's interested, I am more than willing to sell it online. Turn the light off and show it off to your loved ones... the carrot that glows in the dark right where... Me: Um... thanks for the presents.. Her: Hahahahahahaha! I washed it myself with my own hands! It was my first time washing a guy's underwear! Me:... Her: Gyeon-woo, come here for a second. She drags me over to the piano, and she sat down in front of it. Everyone else stood around the piano. She took a deep breath, then lightly placed her hands over the keys. Suddenly, a tranquil rendition of “Fur Elise” filled the air. I stared at her... now I understood why she asked me that question... “When do you think that a girl is at her prettiest?” As I thought, as she played the piano with utmost sincerity, she was really beautiful. She continued as the second part of the music began... then, a disruptive note jarred everyone's sense as she hit a wrong note. Her: You said a girl was at her prettiest when she was playing a piano, so I practiced all week... This is easier than Ballade Pour Adeline... so... She smiled sheepishly. Though it was an awkward performance, and ended abruptly with a mistake... but it was the most beautiful piano performance I've ever heard in my life. As I'm writing this, I can still remember how amazing it was.. Later, I heard her friend talking to Her about it... Friend: I taught you day and night for a week, and you can't even last two lines?!

Me: What? I haven't even touched a piano since I learned from “Do” to “Fa” when I was little!

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