If I Were Homeless

Natalie Tenenbaum

Kevin Wanzor

Girl 1: Look, girls, look. Theres a homeless person, just like sitting there. Right in front of 16 Handles!
All : Ewww.
Girl 1 : Aww, thats not nice.
Girl 2 : I thought all the homeless people died during Hurricane Mandy.
Girl 3 : No, daddy says there are more homeless people than actual people in New York City. (CUE)
Girl 1 : You guuuys. Youre being insensitive. Being homeless can be hard. Just think about it.
Girls: Hmmm.Hmmm. Hmmm. Hmmm.

h=80, Upbeat piano-girl pop

A

D/A

b
b
&b b C

D/A

w
w
w

? bb bC
j
b

w
w
w

j
j

j
j

GIRL 2:

bb b
& b

j

If

D/E

I were home -

less,

j

I'd start

bbb j w
b
&
n b w
ww
? bb b j
j
b

w
w
ww

w
w
w

11

bb b
& b

walk ing down to the Flo - ri - da Keys.

D/A

b
& b bb w
ww
? bb b
b

If

I were home - less,

I''d

w
w
w
j
j

Copyright 2014 Tenenbaum and Wanzor

w
w
w

2 15

bb
& b b

ne ver smell or get a home - less di sease,

D/A

bb
& b b ww
w
? bb b
b

C/E

If

I were home - le ss,

I'd

C/E

j
j
n

19

bb b
& b
work out

eve ry

sin -

F/E

b
& b bb
? bb b
b b

gle

day,

B9/D

and no thing would get in

my way.

D/E

ww
bw

w
w
w

j
j
b

23

bb b
& b

w
GIRL 3:

bbb
b
&

j

If

I were home -

less,

I'd keep

A
A

& b bb

? bb b
j
b

w
w
ww

w
w
w
w
j

3
27

bb
& b b

o ssing and

I'd

ne - ver do drugs,

less,

I'd

I'd I were home -

b
& b bb w
w
w
w
? bb b
b

w
w
w

w
w
w

w
w
w

j
j

31

bb b
& b b

save my change to buy a new pair of uggs,

E

b
& b bb # #ww
nw
? bb b
b n

If

I were home - le ss,

G(4)

F7

C/E

bww
w

w
w
w

w
w
w

j
j

I'd

35

bb b
& b
stalk the Bar -

ney's per -

fume aisle,

j

and rock

F/E
B9/D

b w
& b bb w
w
? bb b
b b

w
w
w
j

w
w
w
j
j
b

bo ho

Brook lyn

D/E

w
w
w

4 39

bb
&b b

style

GIRL 4:

bbbb
&

b

Li ving on

the street,

your

D
F

bb
&b b w
w
w
? bb b
j
b

J J

F/A
j

43

b
&
tan is al -

?b

with so li - ttle to eat,

B
F j

ways great,

& b

you

D
j
J

47

b
& b

bbbb

don't gain a - ny

weight,

I'd

ne - ver be fat

and I'd

D
C

D
E

& b bb

? b b
b

bbbb
bbbb

51

ALL:
5

bb
& b b

ne - ver be stressed,

be - ing home - le - ss is the best.

B
F7

D/E
A

b
& b bb

? bb b
b

ww
n bw

w
w

w
w

w
w
w
j

56

GIRL 1:

bb b
& b

j

If

bbb
b
&

I were home

less,

I wouldsleep 'til

one and stay up

w
A

b
& b bb

? bb b
j
b

w
w
ww

w
w
w
w

w
w
ww

less,

I'd

60

bb b
& b
'til

three.

If

I were home -

b
& b bb ww
w
? bb b
b

w
w
w
j
j

w
w
w
j

b
al - ways know the nea - rest
E

w
#n#w
w
n

6 64

bb
& b b b

place I can pee,

If

I were home - le ss,

I'd teach my home less friends

F/E

F7

C/E

w
w
w

w
w
w

j
j

G(4)

bbb bww
b
&
w
? bb b
b b

w
w
w
j

68

bb b
& b

ma ssage,
B9/D

b
& b bb w
w
w
? bb b
b n

and have a home - less

D/E
D

w
w
w

w
w
w

j
j
b

en - tour - age
F

j
j

w
w
w

73

bb bGIRL 1:
& b n n
Li ving on

j
n w

the train,

you save a ton on cabs,

GIRL 2:

bbb
b
&

n
Li ving on

j
n n w

the train,

you save a ton on cabs,

D
C

& b bb n
? bb b
b

n
J

n
J

j F/A

n
n

F
C

n n n
J
J

nn

77

ALL:

bb b
& b

bb
&b b

J
I'd
j
I'd

GIRL 3:
b
b
& b b nj n

with a li - ttle free reign,

4:
bbb GIRL
b

j
&
n

j
your whole life is up

for grabs,

I'd

j
n b

with a li - ttle free reign,

your whole life is up

D

for grabs,

I'd
C

& b bb n

n
J

? bb b
b

n
J

b
b

81

bb b

& b
ne - ver be ti

re - d,

re - d,

be - ing home

re - d,

re - d,

be - ing home

and I'd get tons of rest,

be - ing home

B
F7

and I'd get tons of rest,

G
D

and I'd get tons of rest,

bbb
b
&

ne - ver be ti

be - ing home

b
& b bb
ne - ver be ti

and I'd get tons of rest,

b
& b bb
ne - ver be ti

D/E

bbb b
b
&
b
? bb b
b

ww
n bw
w

Bridge, heavier feel

8 86

bb

&b b

- le - ss

b
& b bb

is the best!

- le - ss

is the best!

bb
&b b

- le - ss

is the best!

GIRL 4:

bbb
b
&

- le - ss

is the best!

Home - less

b
are n't

told

A
E

b
& b bb

? bb b w
b w

w
w
w

j

n
n

90

GIRL 3:

bb b
& b

Home - less

bbb
b
&

<b>
that they're spoild

b
ne ver

pay

brats

G
E

b
& b bb

? bb b
b b j
b

b
b

n
n

94

GIRL 2:
9

bb
&b b

Home - less

al ways have

GIRL 3:
3

bbb
b
&

<b>

for their tam - pons and pa ds

Home - less

al ways have

C
A
G

& b bb
? bb b
b b j
b

98

GIRL 1:

bb b
& b

j
andhome - less

bbb
b
&
n nw
a ton

are n't

yelled

of pet cats,

bbb
b
&

a ton

of pet cats,

F
B7

bbb
b
&

? bb b j
b

E7

10102

bb
&b b

b w

at

by their dads.

GIRL 2:

b
& b bb

n
j

Home - less

bb
&b b

are more or less like us,

GIRL 4:

bbb
b
&

Home - less
E9

B(4)
A

j



are more or less like us,

& b bb
j
j
? bb b
j
b j j

107

GIRL 1:

bb b
& b

j
n w

but home - less don't have to stress like

b
& b bb w

b
& b bb

us,

GIRL 3:

j
w

but home - less don't have to stress like

bbb
b
&

B9/D

us,

w
G7(9)

C(4)
E/F

& b bb
? bb b j
b

j
j

112

GIRL 2:
11

bb w
&b b

bb j

If

bbb
b
&
w

bb

I were home -

less,

I could be who -e - ver I wan

bb
&b b

? bb j
bb

E/B

bb w
w
ww
j
bb

w
w
w
w

w
w
ww

116

GIRL 1:

bb
&

- ted to be,

If

I were home -

less,

some

guys might get

b
& b ww
w
? bb

to know the

w
w
w

w
w
w
j
j

w
###w
w

120

GIRL 3:

bb
& b

ac - tu - al me,

If

I were home -

less,

D/F

b w
& b nw
w

w
w
w

w
w
w

? bb
b

j
j

they'd see how ve - ry

spe

G/F

G7

A(4)

w
w
w
j

12124

ALL:`

b

&b
- cial I

b
&b

am,

so much mure than

all

all

of them,

so much mure than

b
b
&

of them,

so much mure than

b
&b

n w
all

of them,

so much mure than

w
all

of them,
G

C9/E

b
&b w
w
w
? bb
n

E/F

w
w
w
j
b

w
w
w
j

w
w
w

128

bb
& w

b
&b w
b
&b
<n> w

Li ving in

a ditch,

There's a

sto - ry

to

tell,

Li ving in

a ditch,

There's a

sto - ry

to

tell,

#

Li ving in

a ditch,

There's a

sto - ry

to

tell,

b
b
&

w
Li ving in

a ditch,

There's a

sto - ry

to

tell,

E
C

b
b
& n

? bb j

J
J

G/B
j

132

13

#
& w

no one says you're a bitch,

you're in - tri - guing as hell,

#
j

& w

no one says you're a bitch,

you're in - tri - guing as hell,

#
j

& w

b n

no one says you're a bitch,

you're in - tri - guing as hell,

#
j

& w

no one says you're a bitch,

D


J

C
j

&

?#

you're in - tri - guing as hell,

E
E

bb

b
b

136

#
&

J
I'd

bb
ne - ver ig - no

red

and you're not like all the rest,

&

j
I'd

#
& <n>

nj
I'd

#
&

j
I'd

bb
ne - ver ig - no

bb

ne - ver ig - no

red

and you're not like all the rest,

bb

red

and you're not like all the rest,

ne - ver ig - no

red

and you're not like all the rest,

A

#
&
?#
J

F
b
b
bb

14140

bw
&b

be - ing home - le - ss

is the best,
G

b
&b w
b
&b w

be - ing home - le - ss

is the best,

b
b
&

be - ing home - le - ss

is the best,

be - ing home - le - ss
G7

E/F

b
&b w
b
b
&

is the best,

C7

b
& b
nww
#
w
? bb j j w j

145

bb w

&
b
&b w

E/F

D/F

j
#
#
w

be - ing home

- le - ss

is the best!

be - ing home

- le - ss

is the best!

be - ing home

- le - ss

is the best!

be - ing home

- le - ss

is the best!

E/F

G/F
C7

b
&b w
w
? bb j

w
w
w
w
j

w
w
w
w

149

15

b
&b w

b
&b w

b
&b w

bw

b
b
&

w
F/B

b
&b

w
E/B
w

w
J
w

? bb j

E/B

bw
w
w