The Last Word

Issue #485

February 2015

Brossart wastes money on shirts
The Catholic high school in Alexandria, Kentucky, where students kept encouraging each other to fart is
back! Unfortunately, it never went away!
We all know the old joke: In America, you make fun of Bishop Brossart High School. In Soviet Russia,
you make fun of Bishop Brossart High School! And now we have yet another story about how Brossart is the state
champion in the sport of waste.
Recently, Brossart participated in the 10 th Region basketball championship against Augusta High School.
Because Brossart is a Fortune 500 company, they had hundreds—perhaps thousands—of t-shirts made before the
game touting their victory. But then Brossart lost the game.
That’s right, they lostaged. And the Brossart thinkpol never did take losing very well. I attended the
school in 1990 when Brossart fans trashed the court because their team lost. Police had to be called. The unrest
reportedly culminated in a riot during the basketball homecoming dance. It made Disco Demolition Night look
like a Third Way conference in comparison.
Because Brossart lost this year, all those t-shirts were wastage bastage. The shirts are on the cusp of
It figures that a school that harbored such a sore loser attitude would be so overconfident of winning that
they’d squander an untold amount of money on shirts that were no good. This is about like if a police department
ordered shoulder patches for their patrol uniforms that got the state name wrong.
Now that Brossart is
stuck with hundreds of
useless shirts, what are they
going to do with them? One
person observed that they
should send the shirts to an
impoverished country where
people don’t speak English
understand what the shirts
say. I remember once around
2005—when the George W.
collapsing—I saw a young
man walking through the
alley next to my building
wearing a Bush campaign tshirt. I thought he was a new
immigrant who didn’t speak
English, because who in
2005 would be seen in a shirt
like that if they knew what it
said? Hell, who in 2000
would be seen in it?
The comparison between Brossart and the totalitarian Bush regime is pertinent. As The Last Word of
8/14/09 reported—despite the latest version of Firefox not rendering the headline fonts correctly—bad schools
and abusive teenage residential “treatment” programs are inextricably woven together. For example, Brossart
allowed the now-defunct Kids Helping Kids cult to recruit from the student body, according to a 1987 Kentucky
Post article. Brossart also connived with the confirmedly abusive Children’s Psychiatric Hospital of Northern
Kentucky—now known as NorthKey. Confinement programs like KHK and CPH appeal to the same overbearing
zest that Bush did. They depend on not only fear but outright panic! If your designer children aren’t perfect like
you thought they were...panic! That’s how abusive programs and the Republican Party manage to still be in
business. Of course, I still have absolutely zero sympathy for GOP voters, because it’s their responsibility to be

wise enough not to fall for the party’s lies.
Brossart is the dominion of great wasters (as the Bible would say).

Local racist loses his shit in public
Who’s been leaving the bag of idiots open lately? They’re gonna go stale.
Robert Ransdell is an avowed white supremacist and neo-Nazi who ran a write-in campaign for Senate in
Kentucky last year. He’s known for dressing from head to toe as a Bigfoot-like primate or Abominable Snowman
with white fur and carrying anti-Jewish signs at local festivals and such. I saw this assfife at the Reds’ Opening
Day parade once. Of course,
he didn’t win his election,
since most of his Tea Party
base of support voted for
Mitch McConnell instead.
Ransdell was arrested for
causing a scene at a Martin
Luther King Day event in
Florence. Then he walked
from the jail in Burlington
all the way back to Florence,
motorists. He called it his
“freedom march.” Ransdell
claimed he was protesting
against what he called “this
rotten, phony, hypocritical,
nonwhiteinfested shithole of a
Well, Robert, you
can always leave the country
—or at least the state.
Nobody is twisting your arm
to stay. The world has a lot
of countries, so you have a
lot of choices where to live.
At minimum, get away from here.
And take the Republican Right with you. Every new right-wing scandal reinforces the idea that their
political guild is unfit for public office—whether it’s Steve Scalise’s militant racism, or the domestic violence
scandal that’s about to devour a leading Kentucky Republican. From now on, even when these criminals win
elections despite their shrinking base of support, we can be more sure than ever of what they’re up to—and they
will be exposed.
People repeating the bigoted canards spread by right-wing talking heads is mighty stupid sounding too.
It’s one of those things that just pisses me off. The person repeating it usually tries to qualify it by saying
something like, “That’s what they said on Fox News.” I believe and hope that I’m pretty resistant to race-baiting.
I’ve suffered decades of economic decline, but who is to blame? Am I actually supposed to believe some pundit or
politician who points their finger at an entire race or ethnic group? Most folks need evidence before believing
something. So why would I be expected to just accept some bigoted tale that somebody told? By contrast, I see
right-wing policies firsthand. I don’t have to listen to anecdotes to know about the damage caused by right-wing
misrule. Instead of scapegoating a whole ethnic group, I place blame on the policies of right-wing politicians—
because there’s, you know, direct proof of the results of these policies. Why should I believe race-baiting public
figures instead of my own experiences? Demagoguery doesn’t work when the real causes of our misery can
already be clearly identified.
Our fight against right-wing extremism and prejudice will be long. There will be other fronts in this
struggle even as the Far Right bleeds public support. The lunatic Right is like the dinosaur in the old sci-fi
movies: You chop its head off, but it still does a lot of damage as it flails around and breaks things.

Weird Cincinnati
Weird N.J. is the title of a book about strange phenomena in New Jersey that kicked off a series of tomes
that also enveloped other states. Now there’s a Weird Kentucky, Weird Ohio, and Weird Indiana, for instance.
But rest assured, there’s enough offbeat things in northern Kentucky, southwestern Ohio, and southeastern
Indiana to create Weird Cincinnati. I probably won’t be the one to write Weird Cincinnati, since I’m not a people
person like the world requires me to be. But there’s surely enough material to fill a book.
What are some of the memorable people and things that characterize the region? I’ve mentioned some of
them on the Intertubes, and here’s some that some other peeps actually remember...
The angry state trooper at Big Bone. Back when I was about 6—circa 1979—there was a dour
Kentucky state trooper at Big Bone Lick State Park who needlessly became angry at folks. He reminded me of
Jackie Gleason’s hilarious sheriff character in Smokey And The Bandit. My brother and I got too close to a pond at
the park, and the lawman thundered, “I’m gonna turn you boys in!” Folks on Facebook also remember this
The Kroger house. Gobs of Facebookers remember a house on North Bend Road in Mount Airy that had
a huge, elaborate display in the front yard assailing Kroger
supermarkets. It featured a giant K kicking a person in the
posterior. The display was as big as the biggest Christmas
displays, and it was up for years in the 1970s and 1980s. I
saw it a couple times in its later years.
Madam Madam. When I was a youth, there was a
local palm reading place that was allegedly a front for a
brothel. Folks on the ‘Net say that was just an urban legend
—but that some other palm readers actually were prostitution
The car repair shop owner who had money to
burn. There was an auto repair shop where the owner would
—in full view of customers—take stacks of $100 bills out of
his pocket and use them to light his cigars. It was also
rumored that he smashed customers’ car windows if they
tried negotiating a lower price. Because nobody could figure
out what local municipality the shop was in, police
considered it to be out of their jurisdiction.
Elvis’s comic book shop. Once on a high school
field trip, the teachers announced we were stopping at a
comic book shop in Latonia for some reason. I’m not sure
why. I think it was to buy bubble gum. Before we got there,
one of my classmates stated that he had frequented the shop,
and that the owner strongly resembled Elvis Presley. Sure
enough, the owner was there that day, and he really did look
like Elvis!
What a cast of characters! Just like Sesame Street! The only difference is that Grover would probably
never light a cigar with $100 bills—except maybe in the waiter skits.

I was interviewed about CPH
When this fanzine of freedom began in 1993, perhaps the biggest local villains in these pages were
Bishop Brossart High School and Children’s Psychiatric Hospital of Northern Kentucky. Each deserves every
granule of criticism that’s been lobbed their way.
CPH appeared to be going out of business in the late ‘90s, but this facility in Covington was actually
merely renamed to NorthKey. CPH was a concentration camp—and I have to assume it still is, even under its new
name. How did one end up at CPH? Just scowl at some kid at school who attacks you. That was sufficient. They
didn’t have to worry about getting locked up and being called crazy to their face. But you did. The very moment
you started fighting back against the attacks at school, you could expect CPH in your near future. According to the
Really Serious People, fighting back is a sign that you have a disease.
Long story short: In the mixed-up world of Brossart and CPH, starting shit at school is normal behavior.

Fighting back against it is not. Clear?
Considering the system’s lack of caring, you can see why I support a constitutional redress.
Recently I was interviewed by phone about CPH. The first part of this interview can be found here...
The second part is scheduled to be posted in a few days.
And that ain’t all! LeftMaps is on the case too! As it always is. As most cool people know, I’m the
founder of LeftMaps—which promulgates politically aware bicycling maps of local neighborhoods. The map for
southwestern Covington shows CPH-turned-NorthKey in its full fascist glory...

This differs from the way I would have shown it several years ago, which would have been something
like this...

Until recently, the stylized Republican elephant symbol was used for Far Right sites in general. You can
probably still find the map where I used it for NKU, thanks to the university’s penchant for expelling students for
their political views and its unusual dedication to right-wing causes. And the Newt Gingrich-era computer font
was always useful in many endeavors for symbolizing right-wing despotism. I may start using it again for that.
I plan to someday merge the southwestern Covington map with that of Kenton Vale. But when? When the
bubble gum busts. That’s when. In the meantime, you can find the map and brief description of the NorthKey
neighborhood here...
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