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60 A Day at Tyler's Work the world go to the movies. Luckily, since I work in a movie theatre, I can observe these people first hand, It all starts when they walk in the front door. You can tell who they are; they look around S ‘ome of the stupidest people in Now, we don’t just sit around in the break room of the theatre thinking of, ‘ways to overcharge the customers; the corporation takes care of that. as if they've never been there be- fore, and spend a good fifteen min- utes looking at the movie schedule before moving slowly to the box office. Now, the kid behind the counter, like all the other employ- ees, does not get a million dollars an hour, after taxes; he is just there trying fo make enough to get by, with maybe a litle extra for when he turns eighteen;-). Now, these cus- tomers will walk up to the counter, and from there it’s downhill. My favorite so far is this elderly gentle- ‘man of about three hundred who walked up and rather forcefully, said “Two seniors and one college stu- dent.” Since my mind-read- ing abilities were somewhat limited that day—solar flares—I politely asked for ‘which show he would like these tickets. Not too hard a request, is it? He then, again rather forcefully, states “Two se- niors and one college stu- dent.” So there I am with a line full of people, not want- ing to tick off the old guy— old people are always ‘cranky—and what can I do? I already asked him which movie he wanted, and he al- ready told me how many tick- cts he wanted. I charged him for six. I didn’t want to seem rude by asking him again because he would getall defensive, Luckily for me, the “college student” of about thirty stepped in and told me what movie. Figures, it was Odd Couple Two. ‘Then these rocket scientist cus- tomers saunter over to the conces- sion stand. It’s not just the old guy, butpeople in general. Now, we don’t just sit around in the break room of the theatre thinking of ways to over- charge the customers; the corpora- tion takes care of that, Frankly, we don't care at all about the custom- ers, they just come with the job. So when one of them asks for a small soda, which is sixteen ounces and costs $2.65, we proceed to tell him the price. On numerous occasions, the customers will usually start com plaining, loud enough for everybody in the lobby to hear and watch, plac- ing the cashier as the center of at- tention for charging too much— ‘what was he thinking?! My favorite ‘order is the nachos. Since the cor- poration won'tlet us do anything the easy way, we have to ask the cus tomers which kind of nacho tray they want. Of course, they never ‘know what the difference is, so the poor cashiers have to recite a long string of words they've had to re- million times before. The customer finally settles on one—usually the most expensive one, for some rea- son—the cashier goes, gets the tray, fills it with chips, adds up to six dif ferent toppings (which of course in six different locations), then returns to the counter and presents the cus- tomer with the newly created mas- terpiece. The customer looks at it, listens to the price again, and then decides that he or she doesn't want it—it's too big, chips give them gas, it’s too expensive, anything, and then walks away. Or if the customer wants a box of candy, you take it out, put it on the counter, and then say’the price. Simple. But the cus- tomer starts going on about how little candy they're getting for the ‘cost. The best is when the old people start reminiscing about their child- hood when a nickel got you the movie, popcorn, and three tides on the horse-drawn buggy. From the concession stand, the ‘customer then proceeds to the wrong side of the building, looking for the theatre, They always go the wrong side because they must figure that the giant numerals indicating which theatre is which are there to trick them into—I don’t know—going into the right theatre?! Then after they find the right one, with even more luck they'll sit quietly and watch the movie they paid an arm and aleg for after complaining. But there’s always the few who find something wrong with the film, or the sound, or the temperature, or a baby crying, or girl and a guy get- ting, shall we say, too inti- Tate, or many other things to bring our at- tention—some of which we care about more than others;-) One of the projection guys was telling me a few weeks ago, when Titanic opened, 'a little old man with thick glasses came out of sold-out show five times to complain that the film was blurry and out of fo- ‘cus. Now, the first time they took him seriously, but af- ter the fifth they began to wonder why no one else in the crowd was complaining, Ofcourse, the poor projectionist had to go and check the movie every time the old guy came out. And ev- ery time, it was fine. So when the ‘guy came out for the sixth time to complain, the projectionist, Jerry, told the guy to-clean his expletive deleted glasses, Name gettomy favorite par, After the movie is over, we have to go in and clean up for the next show—no big deal, right? So there we are, having to Clean after sold-out Tizanic. Since it was so Popular, there was already a line of People forming at the door, waiting _—_—_—__ ‘You get your free refills on a bag of popcorn that a small child could live in, but don’t feel like eating it all, ———— to get the good seats, so time is on our side, OF course, we walk in to see half a dozen “die-hard” fans watching every second of the cred- its. They must be waiting for the extra two hours they cut out, or maybe the different ending, the one where Jack lives—whatever the rea- son, they're still there. After they finally leave, we can begin our leaning. I think one of the greatest feelings in the world is walking down the aisle of a theatre to the front, walking through piles of pop- om and other assorted goodies. It's like taking off your shoes and run- ning through a field of soft green ‘grass. But this isn’t all bad. On rare Opportunities a lucky individual will find money. Usually it’s just change or food stamps, but sometimes— Just sometimes—a person will find 2 bill substantially denominated. 1 myself, in the company of me, have been fortunate enough to find a ten- dollar bill, which later bought me a couple gallons of the good stuff). ‘Now, the people who work here are not stupid losers, like the one’s at A&P or Carvel. One guy has a doctorate, one girl is her class salu: tatorian, a couple of people are man- agers, and one really bright, good- looking funny guy is just there cranking the tunes in his °93 blue Honda Civic. So with such a diverse ‘gt0up of people we have some in- teresting conversations, usually about the stupidity and slobbiness of the customers. Not to pat myself ‘on the back any more—bat I thought ofareally great, innovative idea that would save everyone, customer and employee, large amounts of time, Which could be profitably used mak= ing comments about good-looking, scantily clad women over the walkic-talkies (that’s just the em- ployees with the walkie-talkies). If ‘we put one really large garbage can next to each register, the people could simply pay too much for too little food, complain about it, and throw the food away. That way, they won't have to go to all the effort of ‘carrying itaround the building look- ing for their theatre, finally finding it, and then sprinkling popcorn up and down the aisles. It would pre- vent people from knocking over their Enormously Giant, Could Fit the Titanic Inside the Cup, Super Big Gulp, which they didn’t even buy here but only refilled, which shouldn't have been on the floor anyway but in a cup holder specially designed to hold cups—a novel idea—by monkeys wearing alumi- ‘bum foil hats chained to typewrit- ers. also love cleaning up the half- eaten trays of nachos, which is al- ways fun. On of the’ saddest mo- ‘ments I've had since working here ‘was when Ihad to clean up a tray of nachos that had been turned upside- down, and knowing, somehow, that this was the very same tray that I had sold two hours before. Somry for that little scene; I'l ry to control my emotions. Will hope Pve given you a small peek into the “behind the scenes” of your little tip to the ‘movies. So remember, the next time You get your free refills on a bag of Popcorn that a small child could live in, but don't fee! like eating it all, Tilbe thereto give you alitde nudge with my flashlight and point out the ‘most annoying old person so that you and all the people you are with ‘can peg the expletive deleted out of hhim with your popcorn and little pieces of candy that you find stuck underneath the seats. ‘Tyler Lada 95 Rob Fersola