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Kim, 1

Student Sample A
Date: December 5, 2013
Student As Evidence With Captions

Figure 1: Student A was able to write, I have a snake. I was happy to have a
snake tail Tails makes jingly sound. I have a feeling the jingly sound could
have been a reference to a rattle snake, however I am not sure because my
mentor teacher dictated this response from Student A. She effectively uses a
capital letter at the beginning of the sentence, appropriate finger space, and
uses a period at the end of the sentence.
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Figure 2: This is Student As second try at tail writing. Her picture matches
the sentence and she uses inventive spelling to explain what her animal tail
is and how she can use her tail. She came up with a different response than
what was on the brainstorm chart, which was I can swing from tree to tree.
Instead, she wrote, I have a monkey tail, I can swing from branch to
branch.

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Rating:

6+1 trait= Ideas

K.RI.3 I can
tell how
people,
events, or
ideas are
connected.

Presentation6+1 trait=
Choice6+1 trait= Word

Final DraftWriting process:


Final DraftWriting process:
BrainstormWriting process:

Benchmark

K.W.2 I can
write, draw,
and tell to
teach.

K.SL.6 I can
speak and
express
thoughts,
feelings and
ideas clearly.

Writing Rubric Student A


1
2
(WB well
(DP
below)
developing
proficiency)
o Writer cannot o Writer needs
draw or
some help
dictate about
deciding on
how an
animal body
animal uses
part to have.
its body part. o Uses
brainstorm
charts to
o Writer draws
o Writer can
a picture that
draw and
is unrelated
dictate how
to the
an animal
prompt.
uses its body
o Writer cannot
part to help
them.
dictate how
o Writer tries
an animal
uses its body
out new
o Writer needs
o Writer can
and adult to
read some
read with
words with
them or read
the help of an
for them.
adult.

3
(MP meets
proficiency)
o

o
o

o
o

Writer is able
to decide on a
topic and idea
on his/her
own with
prompting
from an adult.
Can write and
Writer can
draw, write,
and dictate
how an
animal uses
its body part
to help them.
Correctly uses
pictures to
Writer can
speak clearly
while
expressing
how an
animal uses
its tail.

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Commentary:
Student A is a general education student and she is generally very
focused in class and has no behavioral issues. During class and throughout
my lesson she actively participates by raising her hand to answer questions.
She is comfortable raising her hand when she is unsure of the directions of if
she needs help. She independently tries to spell words out by saying the
letter sounds as she spells. I did my lesson twice, and she was able to pick
an animal tail she wanted to have and explain what the animal does with its
tail. The first day of writing, was not so much informational writing, however
she was able to explain what the animal uses its tail for.
The ongoing goals for this student are:

Write informational text using 1-2 pieces information (e.g. I have a


monkey tail, I can swing from branch to branch and eat a banana.)

Write 1-3 sentences with information about a topic.

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Student Sample B
Date: December 5, 2013
Student Bs Evidence With Captions

Figure 3: This is Student Bs work from the first day of my lesson. I can see
him beginning to write, I have a monkey tail. He understands that the
beginning of sentence begins with a capital letter and he is using letter
sounds to write the words have and monkey. His picture doesnt
explicitly show that he has a monkey tail and needs to add more detail.

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Figure 4: I chose to re-teach my lesson because students would have


forgotten what they began writing the week before. I feel students could
make more of a connection with clearer directions and expectations. Student
B began to draw an image of a lizard, however, my instructions were to draw
yourself with an animal tail. I restated these instructions to him after he drew
the lizard and he was able to correctly draw himself with a lizard tail. He was
able to write the first sentence, using a capital first letter, with some
appropriate finger space, and a period. He struggled with the second
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sentence, where I filled in sections of the sentence and heavily directed


Student B to look at the brainstorm chart.
Rating:

6+1 trait= Ideas

K.RI.3 I
can tell
how
people,
events, or
ideas are
connected
.

Presentation6+1 trait= Choice


P
6+1 trait= Word

Final DraftWriting process:


DraftWriting process:
Brainstorm
Final
Writing process:

Benchmark

K.W.2 I
can write,
draw, and
tell to
teach.

K.SL.6 I
can speak
and
express
thoughts,
feelings
and ideas
clearly.

Writing Rubric Student B


1
2
(WB well
(DP developing
below)
proficiency)
Writer cannot
o Writer needs
draw or
some help
dictate about
deciding on
how an
animal body
animal uses
part to have.
its body part.
o Uses brainstorm
charts to decide
on what animal
part they want
Writer draws a o Writer can draw
picture that is
and dictate how
unrelated to
an animal uses
the prompt.
its body part to
Writer cannot
help them.
o Writer tries out
dictate how
an animal
new words by
uses its body
looking at the
part to help
class brainstorm
them.
charts.
Writer needs
o Writer can read
and adult to
some words
read with
with the help of
them or read
an adult.
for them.

o
o

o
o
o

3
(MP meets
proficiency)
Writer is able to
decide on a topic
and idea on his/her
own with
prompting from an
adult.
Can write and
dictate how an
animal uses its
Writer can draw,
write, and dictate
how an animal
uses its body part
to help them.
Correctly uses
pictures to
describe the text.
Two or more words
stand out.
Writer can speak
clearly while
expressing how an
animal uses its tail.

Commentary
Student B was pulled during the second time I taught my lesson and
students missed the review on tails I did for the class. I retaught what the
book said about animal tails and reviewed what we wrote on our brainstorm
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chart last week. We discussed in a small group what tail each student would
have and what would they do with that tail. This student was able to decide
on an animal to write about, however struggled writing and dictating what
the animal does with its tail.
This student does not talk much in class, he waits for
instruction/directions, and often does not seek help when needed. Instead of
asking for help with his writing, he sat and waited for me to approach him.
For the second day of instruction, I had students act out the different animal
tails (e.g. stinging someone with their scorpion tail). The ELL students were
able to do this with the 2 other ELL students, however they missed extra
opportunity to further their understanding with the rest of their peers. He
was able to use the brainstorm chart to find certain words/information and
wrote that the lizard can break, but was unable to complete the sentence.
Most of his writing came from the brainstorm chart and with teacher
guidance. I asked him to read his work for our class video, and he was unable
to read it aloud. I asked him if he wanted me to read it with him and he said,
Yes. I read most of the words for him, which tells me he did not make much
of a connection with the writing, because I was unable to provide meaningful
instruction for this ELL student.
The ongoing goals for this student are:

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Practice reading aloud so he becomes comfortable reading his writing


and dictating his pictures aloud.

Provide more practice with sight words and word sounds so he


becomes comfortable sounding out words and writing. Possibly suggest
morning tutoring for this student to parents.
Student Sample C

Date: December 5, 2013


Student Cs Evidence With Captions

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Figure 5: This is Student Cs work from the first day of my lesson. While
modeling, I wrote: I am a skunk, I can spray you with my stinky spray and I
drew a picture of a skunk spraying a lion. He correctly capitalizes the first
letter of the sentence, uses finger space, and puts a period at the end of a
sentence. He also shows some evidence of using letter sounds to sound out
words in his sentence, I am going to spray.

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Figure 6: Student C was able to capitalize the beginning letter of both


sentences and place a period at the end of each sentence. However, use of
finger space is not as pronounced as it could be. He utilized the information
from the brainstorm chart with less adult guidance. He did need help adding
in have a which he inventively spelt. His picture matches his writing. On
the second lesson day, I wrote about how I could use my scorpion tail. I was
glad to see that he chose to write about something different.

Rating:

6+1 trait= Ideas

K.RI.3 I
can tell
how
people,
events, or
ideas are
connected
.

Choice6+1 trait= Word

DraftWriting process:
Brainstorm
Final
Writing process:

Benchmark

K.W.2 I
can write,
draw, and
tell to
teach.

Writing Rubric Student C


1
2
(WB well
(DP developing
below)
proficiency)
Writer cannot
o Writer needs
draw or
some help
dictate about
deciding on
how an
animal body
animal uses
part to have.
its body part.
o Uses brainstorm
charts to decide
on what animal
part they want
Writer draws a o Writer can draw
picture that is
and dictate how
unrelated to
an animal uses
the prompt.
its body part to
Writer cannot
help them.
o Writer tries out
dictate how
an animal
new words by
uses its body
looking at the
part to help
class brainstorm
them.
charts.

o
o

o
o

3
(MP meets
proficiency)
Writer is able to
decide on a topic
and idea on his/her
own with
prompting from an
adult.
Can write and
dictate how an
animal uses its
Writer can draw,
write, and dictate
how an animal
uses its body part
to help them.
Correctly uses
pictures to
describe the text.
Two or more words
stand out.

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Final DraftWriting process:

Presentation6+1 trait= P

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K.SL.6 I
can speak
and
express
thoughts,
feelings
and ideas
clearly.

Writer needs
and adult to
read with
them or read
for them.

Writer can read


some words
with the help of
an adult.

Writer can speak


clearly while
expressing how an
animal uses its tail.

Student C is also an ELL student that leaves the class during a portion

of writers workshop. He was present for my first lesson and was able to
write how he uses his tail, but did not indicate what animal tail he has. On
the second day of instruction, Student C was a part of the small ELL group
that missed most of the re-teaching. I noticed he was more engaged
compared to the other ELL students to learn about tails again. He was
excited to act out the different tails with me and the other students. He was
the first of the three students to stay what animal tail he wanted to have and
how he would use his tail. In Figure 3, I notice that he uses beginning sounds
of words in attempt to spell out words.

The ongoing goals for this student are:

Practice writing sight words and using letter sounds to spell words.

Practice reading his work aloud, practice reading books aloud, and
engaging in conversation with this student.

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Writing Lesson Planning Sheet
Use this writing lesson planning sheet to collaborate with your mentor teacher and
UHM field supervisor/instructor regarding your writing lesson.
1. Target teaching dates:
November 14, 2013 at 8:30 am
2. Schedule observation date on Google calendar. Lesson must be on planning,
drafting, revising or editing.
3. Circle the function and form of the writing lesson
Functions
Forms
Cause and effect
Letter
Compare and contrast
Poetry
Creativity
Essay
Critiquing
Story (narrative)
Description
Report
Explanation
Technology (specify)
Information
Other (specify): Creative
Opinion
Personal
Persuasion
Procedural
Sequence
Other (specify):
(Gibbons, 1991; Tompkins, 2010)
4. Circle
a.
b.
c.
d.

or write in the writing instructional approach to be used in the lesson


Language Experience Approach (preschool-grade 2)
Interactive Writing (preschool-grade 1)
Writing Process (Grades K-6)
Other:

5. If using the writing process what modifications will be made? Teacher


candidates should teach at least the planning and drafting stages.
We will brainstorm (plan) as a class. Students will select one idea from
the brainstorm list.
Students will create a draft and will make additions or revisions as
necessary.
6. What will be the published piece (e.g., print, performance, technology
project)?

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The published piece will be a sheet with their drawing and sentence.
When students are complete I will record a video of their sheet and
record their voice reading their sentence.

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Writing Lesson Plan: What Do You Do With a Tail Like This?
Name: Mayanne Kim

Grade: Kindergarten

Date: November 14, 2013 8:30am


9:30am
November 21, 2013
Duration: Two days

Content Area: Language Arts Writing

Materials needed:
Book: What Do You Do With a Tail Like That? By Steve Jenkins
Chart paper
Markers
Photocopy of page with animal tails and animal pictures
Drawing and writing template with lines for writing and space for
drawing
iPad
Guiding Questions:
What can we learn from reading informational text?
How do animals use parts of their bodies to help them?
Enduring understanding:
There are many different creatures on earth that are similar and different.
Purpose of lesson
The purpose of this lesson is to have students make the connection between the
use of animals and their body parts. They may have the same body part, but use it
in different ways.
What component/s will be the
lesson focus?
Use of speaking and writing to
present information and demonstrate
knowledge.

Strategy or skill emphasis


Making connection with animals and
their body parts
Writing initial sounds
Drawing with detail
Sharing information with others
Language modalities to be used in this lesson:
Listening students will listen while I read the story and while brainstorming with
other students and the class as a whole.
Writing students will write and draw their topic and idea
Speaking students will share their ideas to each other and to the class during
the brainstorm and some students will share their final product to the class.
Critical Thinking Skills
Student Engagement Techniques and
Student will use critical thinking skills Grouping
to choose an animal and its body part
Before students write I will have them
and related it to how the animal uses
share their idea with each other
that body part.
before sharing a few of their ideas
with the class.
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Students will contribute ideas to the


class brainstorm and may refer back
to the charts to gather information
for their own writing piece.

DIFFERENTIATION PLAN
Identify type of learner
(ELL, SPED, Accelerated
Learners, Striving
learners, 504 students,
reading)
ELL

List type of
differentiation
(learning environment,
content, process, product,
performance task)
Content and Process

SPED

Process

Accelerated Learner

Performance Task

Instructional approach
(Write the instructional
approach/accommodation
s that will be used for
these learners)
We will brainstorm as a
class and have pictures
next to the animal names
and parts.
Offer a separate area for
students to work where
they are free from
distractions. The student
can receive adult
assistance.
Have these students make
another page for different
animal part. These
students could also
practice recording other
students read their writing
piece.

1. Standards/Benchmarks/GLOs
ACEI 2.1-2.4 Content Area Knowledge. List CCSS, HCPS III, HELDS, GLOs
K.RI.3 With prompting and support, describe the connection between two
individual, events, ideas, or pieces of information in a text.
K.W.2 Use a combination of drawing, dictating, and writing to compose
informative/explanatory texts in which they name what they are writing about and
supply some information about the topic.
K.SL.6 Speak audibly and express thoughts, feelings, and ideas clearly.

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2. Assessment Task
(ACEI 4-Informal and formal assessment. Candidate plans appropriate formative and
summative assessments to guide and assess student learning, including criteria).
Write the teacher assessment tool for each stage of the writing process. Include
copies at the end of the document.
I can tell how people, events, or ideas are connected.
K.RI.3: With prompting and support, describe the connection between two
individuals, events, ideas, or pieces of information in a text.
Students will pick and animal and connect how that animal uses its tail to
help them.
Students should utilize the brainstorm chart we made as a class to develop
their writing piece.
I can write, draw, and tell how an animal uses its part.
K.W.2: Use a combination of drawing, dictating, and writing to compose
opinion pieces in which they tell a reader a topic or the name of the book the
are writing about and supply some information about the topic.
Each student will create a writing piece of completing the prompt: I have a
(monkey tail), I can (hang from a tree).
I can speak and express thoughts, feelings and ideas clearly.
K.SL.6 Speak audibly and express thoughts, feelings, and ideas clearly.

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3. Activities/Instructional Strategies
ACEI 3.1: Knowledge of students and community; integration of knowledge for
instruction; ACEI 3.3: Critical thinking, problem solving and performance skills; ACEI
3.4: Active engagement in learning; ACEI 3.5: Communication to foster learning
(List how you plan to build background knowledge and the sequence of teaching
students how to apply the writing process.)
Introduction 2 minutes
1. Invite students to the floor when they are ready.
2. Inform students we will be reading the book, What Do You Do With A Tail Like This?
3. Ask what they think the book will be about.
4. Explain that it actually isnt a book only about different animal tails. We are also
going to read about different animal feet and mouths as well.
5. Inform students that we will be learning about different animal parts today.
Building background 5-10 minutes
6. Explain that this book is a Non-Fiction book and ask students to notice that we
have different body parts.
a. Ask: what different body parts do we have?
i. Draw picture of boy and girl
ii. Write body parts (e.g. hands, feet, mouth)
b. Ask: how do we use these different body parts?
7. Connect that with the fact that animals have different body parts too and use them
in different ways.
8. Read What Do You Do With a Tail Like This?
Part 1 Brainstorm 10 minutes
9. Ask: Did anyone notice what body parts animals have, that humans dont?
10.Explain that we will be writing about what it would be like if you had an animals
tail.
11.We are going to brainstorm first. Can you say brainstorm? Does anyone know what
this means? This is when we think of all the ideas we can write about before we
actually write.
12.Put up a chart paper for tails, with a copy of the tails in the book glued onto the
chart.
13.Lets think about what we remember about animal tails. What animals did we read
about?
a. Write the name of the animals the students say on the chart,
b. Ask and write about how animals use its tail.
c. Write in kid friendly language:
d. Giraffe: I can brush off pesky flies.
e. Skunk: I can spray a stinky spray.
f. Scorpion: I can sting you.
g. Monkey: I can hang from a tree.
14.Ask what did we just do when we think of all our ideas and write them out? We
brainstormed.
Guided practice 5-10 minutes
15.Explain that now Im going to get my paper and think about what I want to write
about. We going to write about what would happen if I had a tail!
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16.Think about if you had skunk tail. How would you use it?
17.So what would happen if I didnt remember how to spell skunk? I could look at our
brainstorm chart!
18.Write: I have a skunk tail and think out loud as you write
19.Ask students to think about which tail they are going to write about.
20.Share their idea with a partner and tell them what animal tail you have.
21.Share their idea with another partner.
22.Ask: Do you have your idea? Okay go write it down using this sentence strip (I have
a.)
23.Gather students at the floor.
24.Explain that for our next sentence we are going to talk about how that animal uses
its tail. If you just write this one sentence, thats boring and not a smiley face.
25.Ask: What if I dont remember how the skunk uses his tail? Look! Its on our
brainstorm cart too! Its a good thing we brainstormed and wrote all our ideas
down.
26. Write: I can spray a stinky spray. This is a smiley face sentence because I know
what animal body part you have AND how you use your body part.
27.And I can draw my picture of Miss Kim with a skunk tail! What does a skunk tail
look like? Draw a girl spraying a lion with her stinky spray.
28.Ask students to think about how your animal uses its tail.
29.Share their idea with a partner and tell them what you can do with your tail.
30.Share their idea with another partner.
31.Ask students to write the next sentence down using the prompt (I can) and start
drawing a picture.
32.Ask students, But what if we forget how to write the animals name? Or what if we
forget how the animal uses his body part? We can look at our brainstorm charts!
33.When you are finished raise your hand and maybe we can work together to make
your sentence or drawing even better!
34.After you are finished and it looks like you did quality work, we will record your
picture and your voice reading your writing.
35.Record my example with my iPad and then play it back for the students.
36.Review again what we are writing about and excuse students by row.
Independent work 10 minutes
37.Walk around and see if students need help or redirection.
38.Remind students when there is five minutes left.
39.Record students writing and voice if they are ready.
Closure: 5 minutes
40.Explain we are going to play some students videos that finished.
41.Play some of the video clips to show students examples of student work.
42.Ask what were the different animal body parts we learned about?
43.Ask can you tell me about the different ways animals use their body parts?
44.Explain that we will finish up the writing lesson tomorrow/next week and students
who didnt yet will record their writing.

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DAY 2 Reteach/Review
Reteach 5-10 minutes
45.Remind students that we brainstormed last week. Does anyone remember what
happens when we brainstorm?
46.Bring out the chart.
47.Read the page about tails again.
48.Complete the rest of the brainstorm.
49.We are going to use a sentence starter to help us write our sentence. The first one
we are using is I have a
50.Think out loud and say that you want to write about a monkey tail. So Im going to
write: I have a monkey tail. Remind students that we capitalize the first letter at
the beginning of the sentence. Model finger space.
51.Ask students to think about what animal they want to write about first.
52.Ask students to share with a friend, then share with another friend.
53.Think out loud and say that we also need to write you do with that tail.
54.Ask, what do I do if I dont remember how??? Look at the brainstorm chart!
55.Think out loud and write I can hang from a tree. Capitalizing the first letter and
using finger space.
56.Draw a detailed picture.
57.Ask students to stand up. Lets try acting out each animal. Lets wait for my
direction and with I give you this signal (put hand out) lets act out as we read.
58.Say, I have a skunk tail. Show me your skunk tail. I can spray you with my stinky
spray!
59.Read and act out the other animals and their tails.
60.Direct students to have a seat.
61.Ask students to share with a partner again what animal tail they will have, and how
they use it.
62.Offer the incentive that this will be their ticket out to recess.
Work Time 10-20 minutes
63.Draw a picture with lots of detail and I or Mrs. Garcia will come by and record you
reading your writing.
64.Direct class to go back to their seat to write and draw.
65.Help students.
66.Record finished pieces.
Closure 5 minutes
67.Ask:
a. What is one part that animals have that people dont?
b. What are some parts that animals have that people do have?
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c. Explain that in some ways we are like animals because we use our body
parts to help us too and if we had tails, we would use tails to help us too!
d. Explain that I will have their videos ready soon. It takes a while to put all
their videos together, so please be patient.

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