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Einstein

By
Gemma Holt

INT. APARTMENT BLOCK CORRIDOR. DAY


FELICITY, (late teens, girl-next-door style) knocks on an
apartment door. She is left waiting a beat.
ANNA (Late twenties, early 30s), swings the door open and
hastily ushers Felicity insideINT. ANNAS APARTMENT. CONTINUOUS
-into an immaculate open-plan living room, wooden floors,
lots of glass and daylight. Several science magazines are
sprawled on a counter.
Anna is buttoned up in a blazer and blouse.
ANNA
youre later than we discussed.
FELICITY
It took longer to get here than I
thought.
ANNA
You live next door...
Anna looks at her, before hurriedly whizzing around in the
kitchen, picking up an apple, a bottle of water, paperwork.
ANNA
Ill be back on Sunday, Ive left
the number for the conference
venue.
A telephone number is neatly written on a piece of paper on
the kitchen counter.
ANNA (CONTD)
Please dont call it.
Felicity remains standing in the middle of the room.
ANNA (CONTD)
Heres a key. The foods on the
side. One pinch a day.
FELICITY
(Chirpy)
Easy enough.
Anna stops still for the first time, in front of Felicity.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

2.

ANNA
Dont touch his water.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. DAY (FLASHBACK)
(Various shots, different days - montage)
-Felicity measures a small cactus on a windowsill with a
measuring tape.
- She waters it with a miniature watering can
- She measures it (same height)
- She pours a bigger watering can over it
- measures it (same height)
The cactus sits in the base of a running shower.
The cactus is thrown into the bottom of the kitchen bin.
Drowned.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. DAY (PRESENT)
FELICITY
I thought you wanted all of the
plants watered. That was a bit of a
miscommunication on your pa-ANNA
Betsy?
Anna glances at a framed photo of a dog on the bookshelf.
FELICITY
Well..I didnt know dogs could even
be scared of clowns.
EXT. ANNAS APARTMENT BALCONY. DAY (FLASHBACK)
The sound of a dog YELP
Felicity looks down over the balcony. She walks back into
the apartment and lifts a clown mask off her face. She bites
her lip and looks at the bin.

3.

INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. DAY (PRESENT)


FELICITY (CONTD)
I know my track record isnt great
but I mean, Anna I can handle-ANNA
Its Ms Daniels.
FELICITY
I find thats a hard word to say if
you have sensitive teeth, which I
do. Ms, Mzzz, mssss. Who even uses
that now? Singles and lesbiansAnna zips up a briefcase and stares at Felicity.
ANNA
Dont worry Felicity, this is the
last time Ill be asking. Frankly
Id have asked number ten if he
hadnt been so selfish.
FELICITY
Mr Brenner? Didnt he die?
ANNA
Very convenient.
Anna takes a sip of coffee from her travel mug.
FELICITY (CONTD)
I honestly dont mind doing it. You
are paying me right?
ANNA
Bye Albert.
Anna leaves the room, her footsteps can be heard in the
hall.
ANNA (CONTD)
(As shes leaving)
Enjoy your weekend!
The door slams closed.
Felicity slowly turns from facing the kitchen, to reveal a
glass fishbowl on a coffee table in the center of the room.
A goldfish swims around inside.
CUT TO:

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

4.

C/U of the fridge door. Written on the built-in whiteboard:


Feed the fish.
CUT TO:
C/U through the glass bowl of Albert swimming around.
Felicitys body is out of focus as she enters frame and sits
on the sofa behind the goldfish bowl. She leans forward
peering through the glass - her eyes come into focus.
CUT TO: central mid-shot: Goldfish bowl in the centre of the
coffee table, centrally positioned in front of the sofa,
Felicity seated in the middle of the sofa - all centrally
framed.
Various angles follow.
FELICITY (CONTD)
So...Albert, is it?
She watches him swim/ floating still.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Im Felicity.
The fish continues swimming/doing nothing in the fishbowl.
She watches him - for a beat too long.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Well this has been... I think were
probably done for- were done for
today right?
C/U ON THE FISHS EYE

(NO BLINKS - OBVIOUSLY)

MEDIUM CLOSE UP: FELICITY, SEVERAL BLINKS. UNAMUSED/BORED.


A pinch of fish flakes are dropped onto the surface of the
water.
A cross is marked through FRIDAY on the calender in the
kitchen.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Well Ill see you tomorrow. Just,
keep - well swimming, I guess.
She realises what she has said and laughs to herself.
FELICITY (CONTD)
No, but seriously, please do.
Felicity walks past the fishbowl as she exits the room and
into the hall.

5.

INT. APARTMENT BLOCK CORRIDOR. CONTINUOUS


Annas door opens and Felicity exits, pulling the door
closed. She stands in front of the door - facing forward.
A Beat.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. CONTINUOUS
LOW-ANGLE: From the corner of the room, showing the goldfish
bowl in foreground and entrance to the room in background.
Felicity enters the room.
Various angles follow.
FELICITY (CONTD)
How do you feel about games?
CUT TO:
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. LATER
A chessboard is in the middle of the coffee table between
Felicity who sits at one end, and the goldfish bowl placed
at the other.
Felicity moves a piece (Mid-game)
FELICITY (CONTD)
Im sorry, but you left it wide
open.
She takes a chess board piece and lines it up to reveal a
row of lots of chess pieces she has claimed.
She adds a line to a tally of four - crossing it into five
on a piece of paper. The piece of paper shows a line drawn
down between Felicitys name and Alberts: five tallys to
Felicity, two to Albert...
CUT TO:

6.

INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. LATER


C/U on a twister spinner.
FELICITY (O.S.)(CONTD)
...left-hand, red.
MEDIUM: the coffee table has been cleared and a twister mat
is laid out across the wooden floor.
The Goldfish bowl is sat on a coloured dot. Felicity is
crouched with her feet and a hand on various coloured spots.
She moves her hand to red. Very close to Albert.
FELICITY (CONTD)
ooh, hello.
She peers at him. They are awkwardly/intimately close.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Your turn.
CUT TO.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. LATER
The fish bowl faces camera.
FELICITY (O.S.)(CONTD)
Im not seeing anyone at the
moment, but Im ok with that, I
mean, I wouldnt really even have
time toFelicity is kneeling at the end of the coffee table.
A malteser rolls along the table. Felicity catches it in her
mouth as it drops off the edge.
FELICITY (CONTD)
(crunching the malteser)
You know Im a busy, Ive
got...things...people, I, just
general stuff, to be- anyway youre
one to talk.
C/U of the fish still.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Youre all alone. Like completely
alone. Youre just in that little
bubble, and theres no one else, at
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

7.

FELICITY (CONTD)
all, ever! ...Its kind of pathetic
really.
She puts a massive, opened bag of maltesers onto the floor
and swallows her mouthful.
A Beat.
FELICITY (CONTD)
That was too far. I just heard it.
Sorry.
CUT TO:
EXT. PEBBLED BEACH. DAY
The tide of the Thames gentles laps the pebbled beach.
Felicity stands where the water meets the shore, holding the
fishbowl with Albert inside.
She looks out to the water ahead. Boats pass.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Just because theres plenty more
fish in the sea doesnt mean
theyre good fish, or friendly, or
ask you where youre from because
they actually want to know.
You are alone Albert, but so is
everyone, its just too murky for
them to see it most of the time.
The murkiness of the Thames water against the clear water in
the fishbowl.
The wind blows Felicitys hair and she takes a deep breath
through her nose.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Stay in your bubble for as long as
you can, Albert.
CAMERA PANS UP to reveal the o2 arena, large in the
background, across the bay.
Medium Long Shot out of the lounge window/balcony shows
Felicity walking back up the shingled beach with the
fishbowl.

8.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. NIGHT
Romantic music plays.
A candle flickers on the dining table. Felicity coils
spaghetti around her fork. The fishbowl faces her on the
table.
Felicity looks up from her plate, spaghetti sauce around her
mouth and smiles at Albert.
She burps and wipes her mouth on the table cloth.
FELICITY (CONTD)
What is this rubbish?!
Felicity walks over the radio and turns the romantic music
over to a Rock station. Rock Music plays.
The rock music plays quietly as the camera pans
Felicity, across to the table and the fishbowl.
the fishbowl can be seen as the camera comes to
the window - showing the o2 lit up in the night

from
The rim of
a stop at
outside.

INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. DAY


Felicity sits cross-legged on the floor, drawing a French
moustache with a marker onto the fishbowl. Only the back of
her can be seen.
She clicks the lid on the pen. She holds her phone camera in
front of the glass bowl, it shows the moustache and Albert
swimming around.
FELICITY (O.S.)(CONTD)
Come on Alby! Just stay still for
one second.
Her finger takes lots of pictures on her phone - the fish
and moustache are seen through the phone camera. The CLICK
of photos being taken can be heard.
The fish and moustache never align.
Felicity gives up.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Anyone would think you cared about
what you look like...
Felicity puts her phone down and picks up the pen, she
stands and turns around. She walks towards camera as she
exits frame, revealing a French moustache drawn on herself.

9.

INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. LATER


Felicity is crouched down with her head in a cupboard.
Glasses CLINK. Crockery knocks together.
She pulls out a dusty red wine bottle and grins.
She pours a glass of wine.
A running tap fills a glass of water.
Felicity pours the glass of water into the fishbowl on the
coffee table. A big bowl of popcorn sits beside the
fishbowl.
Felicity takes a seat on the sofa and clinks her wine glass
gently against the fishbowl - in a cheers fashion..
FELICITY (CONTD)
Thanks for waiting for me. This is
my favourite part.
She un-pauses BRIDESMAIDS with the TV remote and a scene
plays. She laughs hysterically and reaches for popcorn. Her
laugh continues overMEDIUM C/U of Albert.
(Camera on floor) MEDIUM C/U of popcorn dropping onto the
floor.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. DAY
LOW ANGLE, LONG SHOT from the corner of the room. The
fishbowl is on coffee table (Slightly left of the screen).
The sound of keys in the front door are heard.
FELICITY (O.S.)(CONTD)
Only me!
Footsteps through the hall.
The camera is placed on the coffee table, showing through
the fishbowl. Felicity enters the lounge, carrying a brown
paper bag. She walks towards the fish bowl. She is out of
focus and the frame cuts her head off.
She walks out of frame, as she walks behind camera. The
fishbowl and Albert remain in focus.
The rustle of the paper bag is heard.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

10.

A bridge is lowered into the fishbowl. Felicitys hand


adjusts it into the gravel at the bottom of the bowl.
FELICITY (O.S.)(CONTD)
Being in our own bubble doesnt
mean we cant build our own city.
The camera lingers on the fish swimming near the bridge for
a beat.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. NIGHT
PANNING - with Felicity as she runs her fingers along a
bookshelf.
She takes out a science book, flicks through it and slides
it back in. She keeps looking and notices another book.
She pulls out an autobiography book of Albert Einstein and
takes a seat on the sofa while reading it.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Ah! So youre a scientist.
She puts the opened book beside the fishbowl on the coffee
table.
FELICITY (O.S.)(CONTD)
Why didnt you say so.
Felicity gets up and walks to the kitchen
FELICITY (CONTD)
And how would one like ones dinner
this evening Sir? Dry and flaky...
She walks back over to Alberts bowl with a tub of fish
flakes
FELICITY (CONTD)
or flakey and dry?
She takes a pinch and drops it into the bowl.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Fine choice.
Felicity walks over to the fridge and opens it. Its pretty
empty. She peers in and holds onto the door for a beat.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

11.

FELICITY (CONTD)
Have you ever been on a bus?
CUT TO:
INT. LONDON NIGHT BUS. NIGHT
Felicity sits on a seat with the fishbowl on her lap. They
bob along to the motion of the bus.
Other passengers stare at the her and the fishbowl. She is
content and smiley, oblivious to the absurdity.
INT. NEWSAGENTS/CORNER SHOP. NIGHT
A neon OPEN sign flashes in the window.
The fishbowl is perched on the till counter. A CHECKOUT MAN
sits behind the counter, watching Felicity skim through
womens magazines.
With three already in her arm, she juggles, reaching for a
fishing magazine.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Oooh look Albert!
She carries the magazines over the counter and dumps them on
top of a pile of snacks and random items she has already
collected in the shop.
The Checkout Man begins to scan the fishing magazine.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Oh no I dont want that! I was just
showing it to my fish.
The Checkout man stares at her
FELICITY (CONTD)
Well hes not my fish butThe man begins to scan the other items.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Im pet sitting.
The man doesnt even look at her.

(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

12.

FELICITY (CONTD)
I like to help out the community...
allievate some of the pressure from
the RSPCA. Ive actually got a
business card actually.
She starts digging in her bag for the card.
FELICITY (CONTD)
I was thinking maybe you could put
it in your windowCHECKOUT MAN
Twelve ninty-five.
FELICITY
Sorry?
He passes her the plastic bag.
CHECKOUT MAN
Twelve ninty-five.
She stops looking for the card.
FELICITY
Do you accept coupons?
CUT TO:
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. NIGHT (LATER)
Felicty reluctantly puts a cross through SATURDAY on the
kitchen calender. SUNDAY is circled.
She walks over to the sofa, glum, and lies down, watching
Albert.
Theres an evening glow of light, from only the table lamp
switched on.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Im gonna miss you Albert.
She pulls the coffee table closer to the sofa and reaches
for the lamp behind her. She switches it off.
BLACKOUT.
CUT TO:

13.
INT. ANNAS APARTMENT. DAY
The sun streams through on Felicity asleep on the sofa.
Keys turn in the door.
ANNA (O.S.)
Hellooo?
Felicity slowly gets up, hair in her face.
FELICITY
(Groggy)
Um, Yeah, in here.
Anna enters the lounge, in a different buttoned up blazer
and blouse.
Felicity attempts to resist a yawn and squints in the light.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Youre earlier than you said.
ANNA
It was boring. So I left.
FELICITY
oh thats-ANNA
How was Albert?
Felicity smiles, a genuine smile, and looks down at the bowl
behind her.
FELICITY
(softly)
He was... really great, actually,
I-ANNA
And the other one?
Felicitys face remains on Albert for a beat. She slowly
turns back to Anna.
FELICITY
(quietly)
And the oth- what the other one?
ANNA
Fish... The other fish.
A silent pause.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

14.
FELICITY
What... do you me- I thought
AlbertANNA
I asked you to feed the fish.

She looks at the message on the fridge: Feed the fish.


Felicitys face DROPS.
CUT TO:
INT. ANNAS BATHROOM. CONTINUOUS
A dead fish floats at the top of a fish bowl on the window
sill. Anna and Felicity peer at the fish.
ANNA (CONTD)
Oh, Eistein!
FELICITY
(quietly to herself)
Oooh! Eistein...
With her lips shut, Felicity fills her cheeks with air like a fuffafish, then slowly releases the air from her
mouth. It releases a small squeal.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Im, really...really sorry.
Anna just stares at the dead fish.
FELICITY (CONTD)
I think this is one of our classic
miscommunications, because, um,
She swallows.
FELICITY (CONTD)
fish is... just one. Fishes is
actually plural for...fish.
Annas continues staring at the fish.
A beat.
FELICITY (CONTD)
Well I should probably, leave you
to erm...I should get home anyway.
She turns to leave.
(CONTINUED)

CONTINUED:

15.

FELICITY (CONTD)
Did you wanna just- pay me half?
Anna turns to look at her.
BLACKOUT.
The sound of a TOILET FLUSH
TITLE CREDIT comes on screen EINSTEIN
As credits begin, different photos are beside each credit.
- A photo taken from Felicitys phone of Albert swimming
around with a french moustache drawn on the glass bowl.
- A photo of a make-shift/paper business card in the front
window of the newsagents with a fish and a cat drawn on in
pencil, reading: Felicity Baker, Pet-sitter.
- A selfie Felicity has taken of her and Albert playing
scrabble.
- A still of the dead fish floating.
THE END.

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