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Cora Wiegel

Ms. Diaz
English 120
23 March 2015
MWA 1 Revision Reflection
Most of my errors for my first MWA were in the following categories: the cover letter,
explanation of concepts, summary of text, and the analysis of pathos and logos. My original
MWA did not include a summary of the ad or a description of the rhetorical appeals. For the
description of the ad, I did not feel the correct place for it was in the conclusion so I went back
and created a paragraph solely for that. During the revision, I recognized the vital importance of
the features that I left out as it created a lot of confusion for the reader.
Another problem I ran into in my MWA was the length of my paragraphs. This has
always been a recurring problem for me because when I have a discussion on a single topic I
struggle to find the right place to cut off what I am saying and transition into the next idea. This
also requires me to separate my discussion into two different ideas, which imposes the challenge
of creating a new introduction to the idea in the paragraph (which I am often worried will sound
too redundant). This also implies needing a closing to the first paragraph of the topic, which is
difficult to include without concluding the idea all together. In my MWA revision, I worked on
separating the first paragraph into two, while altering the second paragraph a little bit to merge
into a new idea.
I thought this would be a better solution than just dividing the paragraph into two because
it makes the audience feel as if there is another topic to consider, it refreshes the idea provided in
the first paragraph (so that it does not just drag on), and it also provides more analysis on the

topic. I focused the first part of the original paragraph on the function of the ad, and the second
discussed how I interpreted the ad and the tactics I noticed throughout the ad. I also worked on
the fluidity of the two paragraphs as the comments I received mentioned that this section had
jumped around a bit. In doing this, I moved the sentence The component that I find the most
appealing about the Above All U. S. Air Force advertisement was the emphasis on the passion
that goes into this career and placed it in my analysis of pathos. I found that this sentence
veered away from the direction of the rest of my writing. I have learned that longer paragraphs
often lose the attention of the audience and especially with the given audience of a student group
it is key to continuously keep the ideas presented new and interesting.
In the finality of my paper, I failed to include a summary of the ad and an explanation of
rhetorical appeals. I had initially believed that the explanation of rhetorical appeals came from
how the appeals were incorporated into ethos, logos, and pathos, but I went back to the appeals
individually and discussed them more in depth with an explanation of their purpose in the ad. To
correct this, I had to rearrange and re-evaluate each rhetorical appeal. I had confused ethos and
logos in my analysis and had to go back and separate the two. Before discussing how each
rhetorical device applied to the ad, I added my explanation of each rhetorical appeal in the same
paragraph. Not originally incorporating a summary of the appeals was one of my biggest errors
in my MWA. Also, I brought up several features of the ad that I had not addressed as ethos,
logos or pathos; in which case, I went back and labeled them as such. I definitely see the
purpose in doing this, as it can be useful in so many fields, especially when marketing an idea in
the future. Analyzing pathos, logos and ethos allows a viewer to see what worked for the
audience and how a presentation becomes successful.

Finally, the biggest challenge I faced with the MWA 1 was my analysis of ethos, logos,
and pathos. My writing was not entirely clear in the division of the three, and each I had a
difficult time categorizing my research under the correct term. Although I am familiar with the
terms and have used them in previous classes, it is a new exercise for me to pick apart the
research and the presentation of the ad and label everything under the appropriate appeal. For
my paper, I had to redirect several of my interpretations of ethos logos and pathos into a different
category.