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Killer Body (Final Draft)

by Erin Vincent

FILE

MOODLE_T EMP_T URNIT INT OOL_847574039._19290_1426565151_151


426.DOCX (73.43K)

T IME SUBMIT T ED

16-MAR-2015 09:05PM

WORD COUNT

1633

SUBMISSION ID

515842568

CHARACT ER COUNT

9003

this may be true for some, but for body builders--they do


put in the time, right? So what's really going on?

there! you
need this
earlier.

Killer Body (Final Draft)


GRADEMARK REPORT
FINAL GRADE

GENERAL COMMENTS

82

Instructor

/100

PAGE 1

QM

Pro
Check all your pronouns. If it's not obvious to whom they ref er, make it obvious by using
specif ic noun again.

QM

citation add
You need a citation here.

QM

Pro
Check all your pronouns. If it's not obvious to whom they ref er, make it obvious by using
specif ic noun again.

PAGE 2

Text Comment.

this may be true f or some, but f or body builders--they do put in the time,
right? So what's really going on?
QM

citation add
You need a citation here.

QM

Q analyze
Always interpret/analyze any quotations you include in your text. Explain how this quotation
relates to what you've said in this P.

QM

Logic
Your logic here and elsewhere is either f lawed or hard to f ollow.
Additional Comment dropping water weight doesn't lower your body f at. It just makes your
muscles more apparent, right? How? Explain.

PAGE 3

Text Comment.
QM

there! you need this earlier.

unif y Ps
Each P should develop a single topic. Choose one of the topics included in this P and develop it
f ully using explanations, examples, details, etc.
Additional Comment Each paragraph seems to be covering many topics (e.g., why they do it,
what the ef f ects are, etc.). Find these topics, regroup the content, and write topic sentences
that tell readers what each P is doing.

PAGE 4

QM

unif y Ps
Each P should develop a single topic. Choose one of the topics included in this P and develop it
f ully using explanations, examples, details, etc.

PAGE 5
PAGE 6
PAGE 7

RUBRIC: PROFILE RUBRIC_COPY

ST YLE

Prof icient

Style:
ABSENT OR BELOW Frequent stylistic or sentence level literacy issues that cloud meaning or diminish
BASIC
readability. T here are f requent areas that need more description, background, or

def inition f or less experienced readers. Missing citations or citations that can't be
easily tracked down by reader.
DEVELOPING

Usually addresses audience with an appropriate, clear, and succinct style. Usually
attends to audiences needs, experiences, and values, although there are occasional
areas that need more description, background, or def inition f or less experienced
readers. T here may be errors in the ways sources are cited, but there aren't missing
citations or citations that can't be easily tracked down by reader.

PROFICIENT

Addresses audience with an appropriate, clear, and succinct style. Attends to


audiences needs, experiences, and values. Cites all sources properly.

ADVANCED

Addresses audience with an appropriate, clear, and succinct style. Attends to


audiences needs, experiences, and values. Cites all sources properly.

FORMAT

Prof icient

Format:
ABSENT OR BELOW Frequently strays f rom conventions of either academic essay or magazine article
BASIC
f ormat; typical introduction, body, and conclusion organization hard to identif y. Of ten

missing captions or headings f or sections.


DEVELOPING

Usually f ollows conventions of either academic essay or magazine article f ormat;


includes introduction, body, and conclusion. Would benef it f rom (where necessary)
headings, captions, etc.

PROFICIENT

Follows conventions of either academic essay or magazine article f ormat; includes


introduction, body, and conclusion. Includes (where necessary) headings, captions,
etc.

ADVANCED

Follows conventions of either academic essay or magazine article f ormat; includes


introduction, body, and conclusion. Includes descriptive (where necessary) headings,
captions, etc.

CONT ENT

Developing

Content:
ABSENT OR BELOW Reader may be unsure of which person, place, event, organization, technique, or
BASIC
trend author is prof iling. Assignment purpose may not be achieved. May provide some

relevant background or hint at why readers should care, but not in a coherent or
cohesive way that engages readers' interest. Reader is not shown why this subject
deserved coverage (distinction). Needs a smooth, logical organization within and

between Ps. Claims need logical, relevant, credible and authoritative evidence.
DEVELOPING

Inf orms readers about a person, place, event, organization, technique, or trend.
Provides some relevant background, hints at why readers should care. Reader may
not be shown why this subject deserved coverage (distinction). Sometimes lacks a
smooth, logical organization within and between Ps. While some claims are
supported, others need logical, relevant, credible and authoritative evidence.

PROFICIENT

Inf orms readers about a person, place, event, organization, technique, or trend.
Provides relevant background, illustrates why readers should care, and shows why
this subject deserved coverage (distinction). Organizes results and paragraphs in a
smooth, logical pattern. Supports all claims with logical, relevant, credible and
authoritative evidence.

ADVANCED

Insightf ully Inf orms readers about a person, place, event, organization, technique, or
trend. Provides relevant background, illustrates why readers should care, and shows
why this subject deserved coverage (distinction). Organizes results and paragraphs in
a smooth, logical pattern. Supports all claims with logical, relevant, credible and
authoritative evidence.

CRIT ERION 4
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED

CRIT ERION 5
ABSENT OR BELOW
BASIC
DEVELOPING
PROFICIENT
ADVANCED