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My Life in Garbology

My Life in Garbology

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Published by AJ Weberman
Weberman's classic, My Life In Garbology. Famous people's trash
Weberman's classic, My Life In Garbology. Famous people's trash

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Published by: AJ Weberman on Feb 06, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial

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11/03/2014

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Dustin Hoffman is a great actor; in my opinion, he's the new Bogart. I
especially liked him in Midnight Cowboy, in his role as "Ratso," a New York
City sleazoid who just about starved to death. Too bad Ratso couldn't go
through Dustin's trash, because that guy throws away more good food than

you could shake a knife and fork at! Click here to see the contents of
Dustin's Dustbin. [Garb9.jpg]

I found ham, cheese, hamburger, oriental sauces, potatoes, lettuce you
name it in that can, enough to have a picnic in front of it every day!
Repeated garbanalyses revealed that cause of disposal was never mold or
staleness. Click here for exclusive photo of a garbage autopsy or
garbautopsy, is being performed.

Hoffman just wasted good food. On top of that, the actor is sort of a health
nut with junk food tendencies. I found wrappers from natural foods, such as
unbleached sugar, organic sunflower seeds, rice and cashew nuts mixed in
with empty pop bottles, candy wrappers and stale white bread. I guess he
just can't resist that good old junk food.

Dustin's dumpings would also throw an ecology freak into a fit. I found
plenty of newspapers, paper cups and plates and towels and bags, empty
return-deposit bottles and numerous recyclable throwaways.

Dustin's garbonoia level was low, so there was plenty of private
correspondence. I found a letter from his union AFTRA forwarded from his
old address in Greenwich Village. Dustin had moved after some
Weatherpeople living next door allegedly blew themselves and their
makeshift bomb factory to bits. I also recovered two envelopes sent by
Dustin to his pre-teen daughters, Jennifer and Karina, while he was in Italy
making a film. A really heartwarming piece of trash was a note from

Grandma Lee and Grandpa Kenny to Jennifer: "This darling gift was
handmade and sold to finance cancer treatments for little children who
need help." A few days later I found Grandma's gift - a rag doll made from
yarn.

It was downhill from there: cat and dog food, Players Club House passes to
tennis garhes and an empty bottle from a common antibiotic (the insurance
report said he had "a minor acne condition of the back"). Mrs. Hoffman
attends the French Institute, owns a black cashmere dress that cost $180
at Bloomingdale's, wears Diane Love perfume ($28) and has considered
sending her daughter to Fowler Ballet School, which is natural since Mrs.
Hoffman's a former ballerina.

That about unwraps Dustin's dustbins, aside from wrappers from home-
delivered filet mignon "steak-ins" and a music box that played Lara's theme
(obviously not his favorite tune).

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