Behind The Scenes

Qabeelat Madinatayn | Student Notes
May 2012

May 2012
Behind the Scenes

Shaykh Omar Suleiman
Table of Contents
Unit 1 | A Journey Of Introspection: The Process of Purification ..................................................... 5
Chapter 1 | Understanding Your Role ............................................................................................... 5
What is Tazkiyah?................................................................................................................................ 5
What is Fitnah? .................................................................................................................................... 7
What is Ikhl? ..................................................................................................................................... 8
What is Tarbiyah?................................................................................................................................ 9
Chapter 2 | Understanding Your Enemy ......................................................................................... 10
The Enemy Within: The Nafs .......................................................................................................... 10
al-Shayn ........................................................................................................................................... 10
Chapter 3 | Understanding Change.................................................................................................. 12
Can I change? .................................................................................................................................... 12
Guidance is from Allh .................................................................................................................... 12
Excuses for Not Correcting Oneself ............................................................................................... 14
The Hows and Whens of Change.................................................................................................. 16
Chapter 4 | Understanding Yourself ................................................................................................ 17
Your l vs. Your Maqm................................................................................................................. 17
How far away are you? .................................................................................................................... 17
The Three Types of Nufs ................................................................................................................ 18
Baar vs. Barah................................................................................................................................. 19
The Himmah Never Dies ................................................................................................................... 19
Chapter 5 | Experiencing Change ..................................................................................................... 20
A Deep Look at the Tazkiyah of Umar b. al-Khab (rayAllhu anhu)................................... 20
The Concept of True Ladhdhah (Pleasure) .................................................................................... 21
Faqhl-Nafs ......................................................................................................................................... 22
Unit 2 | Making the Change .................................................................................................................. 23
Chapter 1 | Knowledge ....................................................................................................................... 23
The Importance of Seeking Knowledge ........................................................................................ 24
The Intention behind Seeking Knowledge ................................................................................... 24
The Effort of Seeking Knowledge .................................................................................................. 25
Being Purified by Knowledge ......................................................................................................... 28
The Pursuit that Never Ends: What is the greatest difficulty of knowledge? ........................ 35
Chapter 2 | Minding Your Own Business ........................................................................................ 41
For your own good ........................................................................................................................... 41
For the good of your brother.......................................................................................................... 41
Giving the benefit of the doubt ...................................................................................................... 42
Chapter 3 | Treating Destructive Flaws ........................................................................................... 43
Curing Bad Character ...................................................................................................................... 43

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Backbiting / al-Ghbah ...................................................................................................................... 47

Slander / al-Nammah (Tale-Carrying) .......................................................................................... 51
Lying / al-Kadhib ............................................................................................................................... 53
Mockery ............................................................................................................................................. 54
Two-Faced Speech ............................................................................................................................ 55
Revealing Secrets ............................................................................................................................. 56
Breaking Promises............................................................................................................................ 56
Impermissible Joking ....................................................................................................................... 57
Disciplining Ourselves ..................................................................................................................... 58
Pride / al-Kibr .................................................................................................................................... 59
Love of Prestige/ ubbl-Jh ............................................................................................................ 62
Showing off / al-Riy ....................................................................................................................... 64
Self-Deceit / al-Ghurr ..................................................................................................................... 67
Envy / al-asad ................................................................................................................................. 72
Anger / al-Ghaab ............................................................................................................................. 77
Learning Forbearance...................................................................................................................... 78
Greed and Miserliness ..................................................................................................................... 82
Curbing the Desire for Food and Sex............................................................................................. 85
The Wandering Gaze ........................................................................................................................ 87
Breaking the Habit of Sin ................................................................................................................ 88
Chapter 4 | Istiqmah .......................................................................................................................... 93
The Hardest Task .............................................................................................................................. 93
The Most Praiseworthy Task .......................................................................................................... 95
Consistency ....................................................................................................................................... 96
Discipline in ALL areas..................................................................................................................... 96
Chapter 5 | Moderation: Dont Go to Extremes (Ifr and Tafr) ................................................. 97
Balance ............................................................................................................................................... 97
What is True Zuhd (Asceticism)?.................................................................................................... 98
Chapter 6 | Get Your Wird On .......................................................................................................... 100
The Purpose of the Pillars ............................................................................................................. 100
Understand your complexity! ...................................................................................................... 101
Act with a Sense of Purpose.......................................................................................................... 102
The P90x Wird ................................................................................................................................. 102
The superstar: Abu Bakr (rayAllhu anhu) .............................................................................. 102
Chapter 7 | The Daily Wird: A Share of Contemplation & Remembrance ............................... 104
Which is preferable: seclusion or keeping company? ........................................................................ 106
A Share of Meaningful Obligatory Prayers................................................................................. 107
Meaningful Prayer ......................................................................................................................... 108
A Share of Voluntary Prayers ....................................................................................................... 111
A Share of Qiym ............................................................................................................................. 112

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A Share of Recitation and Memorization of the Qurn ........................................................... 113

Chapter 8 | The Weekly Wird........................................................................................................... 117
Components of a Fruitful Jumuah Experience........................................................................... 117
Sratl-Kahf ....................................................................................................................................... 117
Fasting Mondays and Thursdays ................................................................................................. 117
Chapter 9 | The Monthly Wird......................................................................................................... 118
Recognize what month you are in!.............................................................................................. 118
Chapter 10 | The Yearly Wird .......................................................................................................... 119
Raman ........................................................................................................................................... 119
The 6 days of Shawwl .................................................................................................................... 120
The fasting of Araft, shr ...................................................................................................... 120
Zakh ................................................................................................................................................. 121
The 10 Days of Dhul-ijjah ............................................................................................................ 121
Chapter 11 | Once In A Lifetime (ajj) ........................................................................................... 123
Before You Go ................................................................................................................................. 123
Inner Meanings of the Mansik .................................................................................................... 123
Qualities of the ajji ....................................................................................................................... 124
Final Note: Overwhelmed?.................................................................................................................... 125
Disclaimer: The following are student notes, which are not endorsed by the instructor or
AlMaghrib Institute.

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Behind the Scenes

Unit 1 | A Journey Of Introspection: The Process of

Purification
This class will be like no other class you have ever taken. This class requires lots of selfexploration, quietness, self-introspection and quietness. If you are here with the intention of
learning and purifying yourself with the ilm, this class will transform you. At the end of this
class, inshAllh you will feel a complete change in your life. You will not feel like the same
person who came here today. The material that will be covered is transformative as long as
you pay attention and try. The hypocrites witnessed the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
and still didnt change because they werent trying to change. Focus and renew your intention
from now.
We will introduce the process of change. Many times we talk about losing hope in Allh
(subnahu wa tala). Do not despair from the Mercy of Allh. When we talk about this,
almost every khubah and lesson derived from this yah says: do not lose hope in Allh
forgiving you. If you consistently hear that message, then its a message of failure because it
means you have lost hope in yourself. Part of having hope in Allh is having hope in the ability
to change yourself. Otherwise, it falls into another category. When you lose hope in yourself
then you have s al-an in Allh because Allh is the One who created you and enabled you
with the agents of change. You cannot lose hope in yourself.
Chapter 1 | Understanding Your Role

What is Tazkiyah?
What does tazkiyah mean? The root word is zakawa, which has two meanings: to purify and
growth / increase. Zakh in terms of money means you purify and you grow. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Money does not decrease by charity. The more charity you
give, the more your wealth grows. This makes zakh a comprehensive word when talking
about money. By removing the impurities, you allow it to grow.
When something has potential but is clogged up on the inside, then things are stopping it from
growing. Tazkiyatl-qulb: the heart is made to naturally love Allh and long for Allh, but sins
stop it from recognizing that potential.
Someone may ask: Why cant I benefit from Qurn? Why cant I wake up for fajr? Why is
everyone else in the masjid crying except me? It is because of your sins. Your sins stop you
from doing that. With zakh, you remove the impurity and it realizes its natural growth.
When we talk about the soul and tazkiyah, tazkiyah is the responsibility of yourself. Allh
(subnahu wa tala) says, And by the soul, which He proportioned. So He inspired with it the
discernment of wickedness and good.

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And [by] the soul and He who proportioned it

And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,
He has succeeded who purifies it,
And he has failed who instills it [with corruption]. (al-Shams: 7 10)
There is a severe misunderstanding with yah 8. People think that Allh placed within it its
evil and its good means that Allh naturally created you with some evil, but this yah means
the ability to recognize evil (the firah). Allh inspired it to understand what is going out of
bounds and what is good. Then Allh says, He has succeeded who has purified. Allh praises
the one who engages himself in tazkiyah. Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, He has failed who
instills it with corruption.
Allh has never made oaths as He has in Sratl-Shams. Whenever Allh makes multiple oaths,
it means that what He is about to say is extremely important. There is no other yah in the
Qurn preceded by so many oaths. Dassha means to cover something up in dirt. Allh creates
you pure pure soul and pure heart and you cover it up with dirt.
Allh also says in Sratl-Ala: He has succeeded who has purified Himself. Allh is swearing
that the person who purifies himself is successful. The effort comes from the person.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was asked by the abah what tazkiyah is. He
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, It is that he knows that Allh is with him wherever he may
be. (al-Bayhaqi) This sounds like isn.
In the adth of Jibrl, when Jibrl said to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), Tell me
about isn. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, To worship Allh as if you can see
Him and if you cannot see Him then know that He sees you.
The goal of tazkiyah is isn. Whenever you reach isn, you reach the level of al-nafslmumainnah (a soul that is at peace with its Lord). In tazkiyah, you consistently engage in
purifying yourself, fighting yourself, battling yourself, and try to root out the destructive
flaws. You are doing that as if Allh is going to call you into account today. You are
worshipping Allh as if you can see him, so you work hard. You put the extra effort when you
know you are being watched. The amount of effort you are engaged in is in accordance with
how active you are in observing Allhs observance of you.
Will anybody successfully be able to purify himself 100%? No. Lets face it: no matter what
you do, you will have your share of sins. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, All of the
sons of dam are in sin, and the best of those who commit sins are those who are consistent in

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tawbah. Tawbah means turning to Allh (subnahu wa tala). If you commit the mistake, you
go back to Allh (subnahu wa tala). You do this over and over again.
You will always slip and on the Day of Judgment, you cannot come to Allh (subnahu wa
tala) pure and without sin because the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whenever
the believer stands on the Day of Judgment, 99 scrolls of sins will be laid in front of him and
each one reaches the end of his eyesight. Allh will tell him to read, and he will read until he
starts to change colors thinking that it is over for him. Then Allh will stop him and say, O my
servant, did you ask for My forgiveness? He says, Yes. The bad deeds start turning into good
deeds until the person will say, O Allh, the angel forgot to write the sins down! (Bukhri and
Muslim)
Everyone needs mercy. On the Day of Judgment, you either meet His Justice or His Mercy. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whoever faces accountability will be punished.
ishah (rayAllhu anha) said, Ya Raslullh, doesnt Allh say in the Qurn that the one who
receives his book in his right hand will have an easy accountability? The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, No, that is just the presentation of the deeds. Whoever starts getting
asked will be punished. There is no way you can win 100% through tazkiyah. You will not be
able to repay Allh (subnahu wa tala) for what He gave you.
Then whats the point of doing good deeds? If your child was to bring home to you a heart
made of red construction paper with letters saying I love you Mom pasted on them, how
would you feel? The mother will hug the child and frame the paper. What made her value it?
Was it the twenty-five cents that went into making it? No, it was the thought and the heart of
your son. You felt that it was done out of love for you, so you extoll it.
We do our part and Allh makes us feel like we got there because of our deeds. When you
accomplish something, people encourage you and tell you that you should be proud of
yourself. On the Day of Judgment, Allh consistently has it said, This is a reward for what you
used to do. In Jannah, you are being told that you did this. At the end of the day, it wasnt
your deeds, but you were engaged and trying to purify yourself.
What is Fitnah?
Fitnah is the ever companion to mankind.
What does Allh (subnahu wa tala) do to make things easier for us in dunya? Fitnah. Fitnah is
a gift to the human being and the believer. There are different types of fitnah. There are fitan
caused by human beings, but we are talking about tests and trials that come to you in your life.
For example: you are put through a test in regards to your health or wealth or a sin is
presented to you.
Allh gives us fitnah to make things easy for us.

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The linguistic meaning of the word fitnah is to burn. It is the procedure of making precious
metals. To make any precious metal, you burn it until the impurities are removed. Sad b. alJubayr said, Allh tests us. We dont test Him.
We are trying the tazkiyah, and Allh (subnahu wa tala) sends us hardship and trial to
complete the purification process. At the end of fitnah, if a person is patient, Allh elevates
them so much that Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) says, On the Day of Judgment, the
people who were not tested will see the reward of those who were tested and will wish they
had scissors to cut their skins. (Authentic in Sunan of al-Tirmidhi)
Aa said, Had it not been for tragedies in our lives, we would have shown up on the Day of
Judgment completely bankrupt. Allh purifies us through hardship and death of a loved one
and financial hardship. A woman came to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and was
telling him that she had seizures and would sometimes be exposed. She asked that he make
du that Allh cures her from the epilepsy. He said, I can make du and you will be the same
as everyone else, or be patient and you will have Jannah. She chose Jannah, and she asked him
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) to make du so that she would not be exposed when she had a
seizure. Through the hardship, Allh was guaranteeing her Jannah. She was concerned about
her dn.
In Abu Dwd: A man lost his son, and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) offered to make
a du for his son to come back to life if the man wanted. He said, Be patient and you will
have Jannah or I can make du and you will be like everyone else. The man chose Jannah.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would seek refuge in Allh from sudden death. Many
people say they want to die in their sleep. The lin liked to go through fever and a period of
sickness before dying because it was a form of purification. When they got sick, they were
happy because they felt it was a form of purification. Abdullh b. al-Masd when he was
passing away was asked by someone, Should I go and bring you a doctor? He said, The
doctor is the one who made me sick in the first place (meaning Allh).
We need hardship in our life because it is Allh purifying us.
Burn the precious metal until it comes out pure and the person is beloved to Allh. Imm ibn
al-Qayyim said, Sins need to be burned either with the pain of regret in this world or the fire
of Hell in the hereafter. Think about this. Some people will go to Hellfire before going to
Jannah. We ask Allh not to enter us into Hellfire for a single moment. mn. Some people will
have to pay their dues and be purified before entering Jannah.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) purifies us in other ways.
What is Ikhl?
What is purity? Ikhl. You go through tazkiyah and fitnah to attain ikhl. Ikhl literally
means purity and when something is raw. The Arabs used this word to describe dough that

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hasnt been made into anything. When metal first comes out of the process of being burned, it
has the quality of ikhl. To achieve purity, you have to get rid of the impurities.
In Sratl-Ikhl, the word ikhl is not mentioned. Imm al-Qushayri said the three srahs
before Sratl-Ikhl are introductions to Sratl-Ikhl. Sratl-Kfirn: relinquishing yourself of
the impurity of shirk completely. I refuse to worship what you worship. I will stick to tawd.
The beginning of la ilha illa Allh is relinquishing yourself. Then is Sratl-Nar, which means
victory for those who purify themselves and Sratl-Masad is the humiliation of those who
decided to keep themselves filthy. Abu Lahab refused to purify himself from shirk, so he will
stay in Hellfire.
Then in Sratl-Ikhl, Allh tells about the pure worship of Allh. Sahl b. Abdullh al-Tustari
was asked what the most difficult station for the soul to attain is, and he said ikhl because the
self gets nothing out of it. Ikhl is doing things purely for the sake of Allh (subnahu wa
tala).
adth qudsi: Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, I am the most worthy to have anyone associated
with me [in shirk]. Whoever does something and mixes the intention, I abandon him and his
shirk. Ikhl is pure love, worship, and sincerity for Allh. It is what happens tazkiyah and
fitnah. It is the station we are trying to reach.
What is Tarbiyah?
Whenever you purify the gold, you then have to shape it. This is tarbiyah. This is the science
we will be studying in this class. Tarbiyatl-nafs. Disciplining the soul and raising the soul and
cultivating al-nafsl-mumainnah, a soul that is at peace and tranquil.
In Iya Ulml-Dn, the section is called riyatl-nafs, meaning the discipline / exercise / sports
of the soul. Your soul needs a regimen.

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10
Chapter 2 | Understanding Your Enemy

The Enemy Within: The Nafs
Imm Junayd said, The nafs is the most severe battleground of any human being. If you defeat
your nafs, then you will be victorious over anything else. The hardest thing about the nafs is
that we dont realize that the nafs is an enemy. It is called jihdl-nafs, meaning to struggle
against your own soul. It is the greater struggle.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Verily a person will be engaged in a state of
struggle and has not once been struck with a sword. Scholars say the greatest struggle is the
struggle against yourself. Many times we like to blame Shayn.
Leave Shayn alone and blame yourself. Seek refuge in Allh from him, but when you mess up,
own up to your own faults. How will you spiritually progress if any time something bad
happens you blame the Shayn?
The nafs can become an enemy for you and fight you. The Shayn whispers to the nafs, and the
soul is the doer. Shayn is the talker, and you are the doer. Recognize the nafs first. In Srah
Ya Sn, Allh says that on the Day of Judgment your hands and legs come and testify against
you. The khirah is make-up time. The hereafter is when you make up your time. If you fight
yourself now and recognize yourself, your lowly desires, and when yourself is trying to push
you to something bad and then you can fight it.
al-Shayn
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Shayn places obstacles in every way the son of
dam undertakes to obey Allh. (Amad) Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) is telling us
the way Shayn works on you. First he obstructs his way to Islam by saying, Will you adopt
Islam and abandon the religion of your family and what you were raised upon? He tells
Shayn to go away and disobeys Shayn and becomes Muslim. Then the Shayn hinders his
path for hijrah (emigrating for the sake of Allh to Madnah). Shayn comes to the man and
says, Will you emigrate and abandon your land and everything that you have and your wealth
and your shops? A person will come and take everything that you had. [What Shayn said was
coming true because they looted the stores in Makkah.] The man says, Go away and disobeys
him and still emigrates for the sake of Allh. [When the man is going to engage in battle, they
are outnumbered.] Shayn comes to the person and says, Are you going to sacrifice your life
and someone else will share a bed with your spouse? Your wealth will be distributed amongst
your inheritors and no one will care for you. The man disobeys him and continues in the path.
Allh has made it a right upon Himself to admit that person to Paradise whether he drowns, is
cast off of a mountain, dies of a stomach disease, is hit by a dabbah (moving saddle). Allh has
made him a martyr. Why? He was engaged in a greater battle: the battle with Shayn and
himself.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said everyone has their own Shayn, and he flows in your
veins like the blood. ishah (rayAllhu anha) said, Even you? He said, Even me, but my

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11
Shayn aslam.
The scholars say either he became Muslim or submitted / gave up.
Everyone has to deal with their own devil. Some people have a Shayn that is very active. Is it
possible to exhaust our Shayn to the point where he starts despairing? Yes, but the battle
never ends. When Imm Amad was dying, he was between consciousness and being awake.
His son Abdullh was sitting with him and telling him to say la ilha illa Allh. Imm Amad
says, No! Not yet! No! Not yet! Abdullh later asks him, What happened to you? He said,
I saw my Shayn in a dream, and he appeared humiliated and in raggedy clothes and broken
and said, O Amad, you have escaped me. Imm Amad was telling him, No, not yet.
Imm al-asan al-Bari said, If Shayn saw you consistently obeying Allh, he will seek you
time and time again. If he sees your consistency, he grows hopeless of you and rejects you. If
he sees you losing it, then he has hope. The Shayn perceives weakness, but if a person is
consistently engaged in pursuing Allh, then he loses hope.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, It has reached me that an angel goes out holding
his flag with the first person to the masjid and stays holding his flag until he returns and enters
his home with it. Shayn goes out holding his flag with the first person to go to the
marketplace and stays holding the flag until he puts in his home. At that time, the sq
(marketplace) was the place where evil would take place. It was an environment where you
could sin most.
Shayn can lose hope in you or keep on fighting with you.

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Chapter 3 | Understanding Change

Can I change?
Am I capable of changing? Imm al-asan al-Bari said, The nafs is like a strong horse. The
goal is not to kill it but to tame it. You want to keep yourself in control. It is good to have a
strong and powerful horse as long as you are in control of it and it is not in control of you.
Allh does tell us in the Qurn those who swallow their anger and not those who do not
have anger. Allh does not expect you to eliminate and suppress your desires and natural
things inside you but to keep them tamed.
Jealousy can be good or bad if uncontrolled. Sometimes anger can be good. Imm al-Ghazli
said, If a person has no anger whatsoever, how can he defend himself against someone who is
trying to kill him? It is good to have certain thing in their proper doses.
Imm al-Ghazli said, Human beings claim that they cannot change. A bear can be taken from
its savagery to becoming a companion. A dog would naturally attack you but can become your
guide. He mentions a falcon and other types of animals. No human being can claim that he
cannot change. Animals can change, which is a proof that the human being can change.
Everyone is able to change and has that capability. Allh gave you these examples so that you
can focus on yourself.
You have to be willing to take the medicine. That is the problem: the unwillingness to commit
to changing yourself. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh has given for every
disease its cure. This includes spiritual diseases and problems, but you have to be willing to
go through the pain of it.
Guidance is from Allh
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The hearts are between two fingers of the fingers
of the Most Merciful. If Allh wills, He guides it or turns it away.
If something is in between the fingers, you can turn it one of two ways. The reason why this is
so important is not to say that you should be hopeless and wait for the guidance of Allh. Allh
tells us in the Qurn that those who seek guidance will be guided. Those who strive in Our
way, We guide them to the various paths of good.
Guidance comes from Allh. You may be trying and striving to do something over and over
again. You may be trying to get khush in your alh and keep trying and all of a sudden it is a
360 degree turn in your life and you are unrecognizable even to yourself. There are so many
incidents in the biography of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam).
There is a sister from Canada. Sr. Julie became Muslim while in her second year of law school
and in 365 days she memorized the entire Qurn. The anniversary of her shahdah she took
ijzah in hif.

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13
When Allh guides you, things happen. We are trying to make ourselves worthy of guidance
from Allh (subnahu wa tala). If you go to the grocery store and your child takes a bag of
chips and eats the entire bag, you will hand the cashier the bag and pay for it. The point we
are trying to make is that the cashier is not going to be surprised or call security because it was
cheap. If you take a $300 box of chocolates or something valuable and open it up, security will
come and get you because it is valuable.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) says in the Qurn: God has purchased from you your wealth and
souls so that you can get Jannah. This means you pay first and then you get it. It is kind of
shirk-y if someone is doing something wrong and tells someone else to make du for Allh to
guide them. You have to do something yourself and get out of it.
The Jabariyyah think that Allh makes us do everything. They said Firawn was as beloved to
Allh as Msa was because he did what Allh created him to do. Everybody looks for someone
else to blame except for themselves. When Ibls messed up and did what he did, who did he
blame? Ibls blamed Allh. He said, O my Lord, You led me astray, so I will lead all of them
astray. dam confessed and said, O Allh, we did this to ourselves.
You have to seek guidance from Allh and struggle so that He will guide your heart. Guidance
is not something that just comes to you. At the same time, people say it isnt fair that one
person is guided and another person is not. What is the point then of living through this life?
Compulsion in Islam relieves you of this responsibility. You arent charged if you sleep
through the alh but you are charged if you waste time through the alh.
Ammr b. Ysir was tortured by the disbelievers and cursed the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) because they told him to. He was upset and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
asked him what was wrong and he said, Ya Raslullh, when they were torturing me, they told
me to curse you and I cursed you. He said, Did you say it from your heart or tongue? He
said, My tongue. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If they do it to you again,
then you curse me again.
Allh says in the Qurn: When they turned away, Allh turned their hearts away. They
became unworthy of guidance. The first one to turn away was not Allh.
When it comes to tawbah, Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, Allh turned to them so that they
could turn to Allh. Allh starts off this process.
Allh doesnt force us into misguidance.
And [some] among their fathers and their descendants and their brothers - and We chose them
and We guided them to a straight path. (al-Anm: 87)

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14
And Allh invites to the Home of Peace and guides whom He wills to a straight path (Ynus: 25)
And so those who were given knowledge may know that it is the truth from your Lord and
[therefore] believe in it, and their hearts humbly submit to it. And indeed is Allh the Guide of
those who have believed to a straight path. (al-ajj: 54)
By which Allh guides those who pursue His pleasure to the ways of peace and brings them out
from darknesses into the light, by His permission, and guides them to a straight path. (alMidah: 16)
Excuses for Not Correcting Oneself
The scholars say the person who makes excuses reaches a state of inactivity. The person
blames Allh and says that the deeds committed are Allhs fault. Imm Ibn Qudmah says, To
say my evil deed is not my fault but Allhs fault because Allh created me is like a person
having a baby out of adultery and then saying that they are not going to pay for the child
because Allh created the child. Is that justifiable? No. You took the steps, so you cant
blame Allh.
Other excuses: I was born this way, I am not from a Muslim family. Ibn al-Qayyim said in
his book al-Fawid, Abu lib drowned in the seas of misguidance why Salmn the Persian
was safe on the coast. Al-Wald b. al-Mughrah, the honor of the Arabs, preceded all in straying
away from Allh while Suhayb, the Roman, excelled above all Arabs. Al-Njashi was in
Abyssinia called labbayk allhumma labbayk. Bill, the slave, called out, alh is better than
sleep. Abul-akam (Abu Jahl) fell deaf and became the father of ignorance. Another believed
in Allh despite never seeing Raslullh. Abdullh b. Ubayy al-Sall prayed behind the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) for years and still died a disbeliever. There are no excuses
whatsoever. It is not about where you are from or who your parents are.

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Bill heard his master Umayyah cursing the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and learned
that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was calling for tawd. He became Muslim, was
tortured, and was on the point of death. Umar asked Bill much later in the golden age, Our
master who was freed by our master (Abu Bakr), why when you were being tortured were you
only saying aadun aad? Bill said, Wallhi, if I had known anything other than One, I
would have said it. He didnt know any other Names of Allh.
When your heart turns towards Allh, Allh will guide you. In 1996, in Makki masjid in New
York, a man walked in at altl-maghrib with his shoes and said, I want to become Muslim.
He looked like he was panicking. They asked him if he knew anything about Islam, and he said
he didnt but he knew it was the truth. The imm gave him shahdah. The man became so
happy, he broke into tears and became soft-spoken and said, Thank God. He hugged
everyone and they gave him the Why Islam literature. He walked outside of the masjid and was
saying salm and a car came and hit him and he died. His heart wanted Allh, and he wanted to
change now.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) told us about a man who lived in Madnah. He showed up
at the Battle of Badr as started fighting so they asked if he was fighting for Allh or for
nationalism. He said he was there for Allh and took shahdah. He died. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would quiz the people and ask, Who was the man who died a
martyr and entered Paradise without praying a single prayer, without making a single wu,
and without fasting a single day? He didnt make any excuses and wanted to be a Muslim.
The first excuse: We are born this way.
Al-Ghazli said the excuse is my khuluq is like my khalq. We make a prayer: O Allh as you
have beautified exterior (khalq), beautify my character. Khuluq is your interior and character
and inner beauty. Al-Ghazli said, Some people will say they are born with a hot temper and
raised in this environment. They will make the excuse that changing the khuluq is like
changing the khalq. If you try to change it, then you will end up in a worse situation than
before.
The second excuse: Self-pity
We feel too sorry for ourselves and say it is too hard to be Muslim and do things. Im going to
lose my friends. People will look at me funny. I cant pray in public; I need to pray in my
car. We feel sorry for ourselves. We talk as if we live in the worst situation. Then we start
feeling sorry for ourselves that we are not going to change. A quotation from Elizabeth Elliott:
Self-pity is a death that has no resurrection. A sink-hole from which no rescuing hand can
grab you because you have chosen to sink. When you have decided to sink is when you
cannot get out of it.
The third excuse:
Blaming the religion for the flaws of religious people.
All shaykhs are liars. Those people come out of the masjid and do this and that. How many
times do you see people make an excuse for their own failure by looking at other people?

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The Hows and Whens of Change

1. Things that cannot be changed.
The sun, the moon. There are constants in the universe. No human being has a spiritual
condition that cannot be changed.
2. Things that have potential but, if not nourished properly, will go to waste.
When you hear mshAllh she does this and that but then you know there is wasted
potential. Al-Ghazli gave the example that you cant plant a date seed and expect to grow
apples and you cant plant an apple seed and expect to grow dates. Everyone has unique
qualities, and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) could extract them from people. He
channeled someones anger the right way. If a person had leadership qualities, he put them
where they would be the most effective. Mudh was sent to Madnah to teach the people.
Jfar was eloquent and only 21 years old but was sent to abashah. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, People are like precious stones. The best of you in ignorance are the
best of you in Islam if they understand / comprehend.
3. Things that are harmful but can be destroyed with effort ranging from very little to great.
Sometimes you attain certain qualities, especially the longer you have been in it, but it can be
changed and worked on.
4. Things that can go both ways
For example: Facebook. If you are using to post pictures of yourself in the mirror or to send
messages to the opposite gender, then it is arm. If you use it for dawah, it can be good.
Imm al-Dhahabi narrates in his biography of the notables (the companions) a story of a man
named Jadan who used to be a singer. One day, Abdullh b. Masd was passing by and heard
him singing and said, If only he would use that voice to recite Qurn. Jadan heard and
started to cry and ran after Abdullh b. Masd. He became pious and Abdullh b. Masds
student.
Anger is good with things that are displeasing to Allh. Jealousy is good if you try to act
productive so no one surpasses you in religion. Generosity is good as long as the giver doesnt
put himself in debt or neglect his family. Courage is good as long as it doesnt make you
arrogant. Humility is good as long as it doesnt become disgrace.
Make your desires conform to the Sunnah. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, No one
of you truly believes until his desires conform with what I have brought. You start to desire
good.

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Chapter 4 | Understanding Yourself

Your l vs. Your Maqm
l and maqm both translate into state or situation, but they mean very different things
in Arabic. Your l is the situation you are in right now but you dont necessarily reach maqm
until it becomes a pattern of behavior. Can a liar tell the truth? Yes, but it doesnt make him a
truthful person the first time he tells a truth.
Maqm is the station. For example: the station of truthfulness, the station of generosity, the
station of forbearance. When Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, al-birn wal-birt and all
these lofty positions, these are people who have reached a pattern of behavior so that they are
called by that name. Doing something one time doesnt mean that quality is attributed to you.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Verily a person will tell the truth continuously
until he is written with Allh as iddq. A person will lie until Allh writes him down as a liar.
Just because you give a lot of money does not make you a generous person. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) mentioned a person who gives $100K versus $1 and said that the $1
surpassed the $100K because the one who gave the $1 only owned $2. The one who gave $100K
had a million dollars. The one who gave $1 is more generous than the other.
We have characteristic traits but cannot exercise them more because of our circumstances.
Ibn Qudmah mentioned that on the way to udaybiyyah, the camel of the Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) refused to move, and they said the camel was being disobedient. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The camel did not become disobedient and that is not the
character of Qaswah. The only thing that held it back was what held back the elephant. This
doesnt mean because of one incident you can assign a trait to a human being.
How far away are you?
There are four situations that you could be in when you are far away from Allh.
1. Simple ignorance (jahl bas). Some people are good and want to come to Allh but dont
have any knowledge. When you give them dawah, they become better Muslims than
anyone else.
2. Compounded ignorance. A person who is ignorant because they are a follower by nature.
They are weak and go with the flow. The ignorance is being fed to them. In the Qurn,
Allh divides people into two categories: the leaders and the followers. In Hellfire are the
weak people and those who filled themselves with pride. Some people just go with the
flow. This person is harder to convince than those in the first category.
3. The innovator (al-mubtadi). The Shayn comes to the person with innovation after shirk.
If Shayn cant get you to do shirk, then he would rather get you with innovation than
major sin. Shayn would rather you commit bidah than commit adultery and interest.
When you commit innovation, you decorate something that is evil and make it look good.

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Imm al-Sufyn al-Thawri said, A person with innovation never makes repentance because
he thinks it is good. They do acts that are not from Allh and not from the Sunnah and
think that it is a way of coming closer to Allh.
Ibn Masd found people in the masjid sitting in a circle and saying tasb with stones. He
threw the stones at them and asked them why they were doing this. They said, All we
want to do is good. Ibn Masd said, How many people desire good and never reach it? If
you dont desist in this, then you will be the enemies of Allh. The narrator said that
those people were the first to join the Khawrij. Make sure that what you are doing is
proper.
4. Someone who has Satanic characteristics: he is doing wrong and he likes it. He never
stops. This person is in the worst situation.
The Three Types of Nufs
1. Nafsl-baheemah: the animal-like self. The one who pursues his desires freely without any
form of conscience. Allh (subnahu wa tala) says they are just like the dog with its
tongue always out and panting whether you put something in front of it or not.
2. Nafsl-lawwmah: the soul that chastises and blames itself. It tries to do good but falls
sometimes. This person holds himself accountable and makes istighfr and comes back to
Allh. When this soul is presented with good and evil at the same time is more likely to fall
into evil. Allh forgives this type.
3. Nafsl-mumainnah. The soul that is at peace. Imm ibn al-Qayyim said, Whoever is busy
with himself is distracted from others. Whoever is busy with Allh is distracted from
himself. He is so caught up in pleasing Allh that he forgets his own desires. When Ysuf
was in the situation with the wife of al-Azz, Allh says, she wanted him and he wanted
her had he not seen the proof of his Lord. Ysuf said, I would rather be imprisoned than
do this. He loved Allh that much.
When you love Allh, you start to hate things that your soul naturally desires. The soul at
peace wants to please Allh and is tranquil. Allh says in the Qurn, O soul at peace, come
back to your Lord riyatan mariyyah. Allh is pleased with this soul.
A tabii said, To pray two rakahs is more beloved to me than Paradise. His companions
said, Why? He said, The two rakahs please Allh and Paradise pleases me and I would
rather please Allh.
The soul that is at peace become distracted from itself and favors Allh. Imm al-Ghazli
said, The greatest punishment in the Hellfire is the chance that was missed to truly know
Allh.

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Baar vs. Barah

Both mean sight. The scholar Ibn Qudmah said, The body is seen by the baar (eyesight)
and the soul is seen by barah (insight). How often do you look at yourself? How often is
your introspection?
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Fear the sight (firsah) of a believer. A
righteous person can diagnose things so well. One time Imm al-Shfii and Imm Mlik were
sitting and someone walked by. Imm Mlik says, He is a shepherd. Imm al-Shfii said, I
think he is a carpenter. Someone went to him and asked him his profession and he said, I
used to be a shepherd but now Im a carpenter.
A person with barah has vision and can look at himself. You naturally feel uncomfortable
around certain people. This is the firah.
The Himmah Never Dies
Himmah means ambition. If you truly want to change yourself, leave the things that are
prohibited and in the red and grey areas. Leave the doubtful matters. We live in an age when
we want the easy fatwa. We just want to know how to make something all. We are not
willing to commit ourselves and dont really want to change. We just want the easy way out.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, What is permissible has been made clear and
what is arm has been made clear and between them are doubtful matters. Whoever grazes
around the doubtful matters will fall into it. This is why a believer has war (caution). One of
the abah said, We left half of the all things out of fear that we would fall into the arm.
There is an axiom in fiqh to always stay away from difference of opinion and stay on the side of
caution, and you will be rewarded.
Imm Qdir al-Jilni said, The asant (good deeds) of normal people are the sayyit (bad
deeds) of righteous people. For example, you show up for fajr after a long time and caught the
second rakah. Another person is always in the first row and never comes later than 30 minutes
before alh and if one day he catches just the first takbr and is upset.
A man came to Maymn b. Mahrn (a tabii) for his daughters hand in marriage, and he said
that he doesnt approve of her for him because she loved clothes and jewelry too much. The
man said he loves those things too, so he then said that he didnt approve of him for her.


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Chapter 5 | Experiencing Change

A Deep Look at the Tazkiyah of Umar b. al-Khab (rayAllhu anhu)
He made a complete 360 change in his life. Before Islam, he was someone who used to say that
he would beat on his slaves until he tired. He did all of the terrible things everyone else did.
He was a drunk. After Islam, in his khilfah a woman stood up and told him that he didnt have
the right to restrict the dowry because Allh didnt allow it. Umar said he was once in the
house with his wife and she hurt his feelings. He got up and went to sit with the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam). When he got to the door of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam), he heard his daughter afah raising her voice at him, and he became upset and
chastised her.
How did Umar change himself?
The way he disciplined himself is incredible.
One time he was walking in the streets. He used to be the reflection of the Quraysh and was
the most arrogant and prideful man. When he was khalfah, he wanted to humble himself. A
woman came and said he used to be a little child so he should fear Allh. People went to her
and asked her why she made him cry, and he told them to leave her alone because she was the
woman who pleaded to Allh (al-mujdilah) and Allh answered her.
When Umar would walk on the street, the kids would run away scared. One time Abdullh b.
Zubayr stood there and Umar said, Shouldnt you run away like all the other kids? He said,
I dont think the path is too small for both of us. Umar picked him up and laughed and said,
This is the son of his father. Uthmn said Umar was perfect as khalfah and what they didnt
know of him was even better than what they knew of him.
He used to beat down on slaves, and he later said, How can you enslave a man who was born
free? He became a man of justice, and his khilfah was marked with justice. Umar was very
unique. He used his traits.
Once the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was giving a alaqah with women. One time
Umar was walking by the alaqah and heard the women raising their voices. He walked in and
all of the women ran and hid behind the curtains. Umar said, You enemies of Allh! Come
out! You are not ashamed in front of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and you are
ashamed in front of me? The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was laughing. The women
said to Umar, You are harsher and harder. Allh said to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam), If you were rough and harsh-hearted, they would have run away from you even if you
had the revelation. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, You are harsh, but I have
seen that when you take a path, the Shayn takes another path. He used his toughness in the
right ways and because of that, Allh honored those qualities in him.
He forced himself to cry. He would never cry in jhiliyyah. After Islam, he had two black lines
under his eyes because of how much he used to cry. He once walked in on the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and Abu Bakr after Badr while they were crying and asked them
why they were crying so that he could cry too.

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Did Umar cry from reading the verses of Paradise or Hellfire? Some people are different.
Some of us cry when we hear Sratl-Ramn. Umar used to always read the verses of
punishment because he was a rough man and needed to have fear. He treated himself with the
right treatment and read the verses that made him fear Allh.
One time Umar was sitting and the money from the ummah was coming to him. He saw that
and got up and told the muadhdhin to call everyone to the masjid. In those days, when the
dhn was made and it wasnt a prayer time, it meant war. They all came to the masjid, and
Umar said, Bismillh alamdulillh, my name is Umar b. al-Khab, and I used to be a barefoot
shepherd in Makkah. Then he stepped down. Umar said, I was sitting and the zakh was
coming from all over the world, and my nafs started telling me that I am the king of the world,
so I wanted to teach my nafs a lesson.
Umar used to be careless and then would say that he feared an animal in Iraq would complain
on the Day of Judgment because its owner overburdened him. He would cry and then laugh
and cry and then laugh, and he said he was laughing because he remembered one time during
the days of ignorance when they would bring their idols to Makkah, he took dates to make an
idol and when he became hungry, he ate his idol.
He remembered his past and consistently humbled himself. He never thought highly of
himself. He wanted to be like Abu Bakr in everything and would compete with him. One day
he said he was going to beat Abu Bakr and took half of his money to give in charity, and Abu
Bakr, not knowing that Umar did this, brought all of his money for charity.
One day during the khalfah of Abu Bakr, Umar went to the outskirts of Madnah to serve the
old women who were there and when he knocked on the first house, the woman said that
someone had already come. Umar asked who it was and she said she could not tell him, so he
waited behind the house and saw Abu Bakr. He said, O Abu Bakr, I have never traveled a path
of good except that you have already traveled it. You have exhausted everyone who comes
after you. He looked at a higher standard and wanted to be more.
Now that in national interest, the responsibility for leading the Muslims has come to vest in
me, I assure you that I will not run away from my post and will make an earnest effort to
discharge the onerous duties of the office to the best of my capacity in accordance with the
injunction of Islam. Allh has examined me from you and you from me. In the performance of
my duties, I will seek guidance from the Holy Book and will follow the examples set by the
Holy Prophet and Abu Bakr. In this task I seek your assistance. If I follow the right path, follow
me. If I deviate from the right path, correct me so that we are not led astray.
- From Amrl-muminn, Umar b. Al-Khabs Inaugural Address
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, There were people who were muadithn in the
nations before me and if there is going to be a muadith in my ummah, it would be Umar.
The Concept of True Ladhdhah (Pleasure)
Allh says the alh is heavy and something that naturally tires you out. The average
basketball player in a game will run 9 miles. When you start to enjoy and find pleasure and
find your worship as a retreat and an escape from the rest of the world, then not only will it

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become easy but Raslullh would say, Calm us down, O Bill. You will start to desire the
prayer and want it because you will know it is the best thing in the world for you.
Faqhl-Nafs
This is a concept that is misused. It means the scholar of the soul. How do you start to
understand your soul the most and become a scholar of your own soul? This is something very
powerful. Imm al-Ghazli gives the example of a calligrapher. Before he can do his own
calligraphy, he copies the same calligraphy over and over and over again. Before you can
reach any science, you have to sit and copy someone else over and over again. Then you start
to recognize what is needed for your soul. This doesnt mean you can leave the Sunnah of the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). It means you become more aware of your weaknesses and
how to treat them. You start to diagnose your soul. No two people are exactly the same.
Allh says Isq (alayhil-salm) was a young, knowledgeable man (alm) and Isml (alayhilsalm) was a forbearing man (alm). Weigh yourself against the qualities in the Quran and
start to see what can you do and where do you fall in this? Diagnose your own weaknesses and
start to figure it out.
If you start to love your good deeds, after this weekend something will change in your life even
if it is just one thing. Something will change and you will feel the love in Allh and acts of
worship become easy. When you love Allh, it becomes your source of pleasure.
YouTube Video:
A Turkish old man praying the whole qiam prayer standing on one leg in Mecca

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Unit 2 | Making the Change

Chapter 1 | Knowledge
In the books of tazkiyah, they start talking about knowledge before anything else. People come
to classes looking for knowledge and information, but the intention is to learn something
entertaining or a cool fact. They want to sound smarter. The books of tazkiyah start with
knowledge because it is the purpose of learning.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) says:
Say, Are those who know equal to those who do not know? Only they will remember [who
are] people of understanding. (al-Zumar: 9)
Allh is preferring the people of knowledge. Allh also says:
Allh will raise those who have believed among you and those who were given knowledge, by
degrees. (al-Mujdilah:11)
Allh has elevated the people of belief amongst mankind, and amongst the people of belief,
Allh has elevated the people of knowledge degrees.
We have misused the terms shaykh, mufti, and lim. You become a shaykh in two years and
mufti in four years. When people who dont like those titles for themselves say they are not a
shaykh, the response of the people is that they are just trying to be humble, but they are not
to that standard of the people of knowledge.
For someone to claim that they are lim and mufti with just a few years or weekends of study is
a disrespectful to our tradition. Shaykh Abdul Musin, a major scholar in Madnah, said at an
awards ceremony, Wallhi, I am not even a uwaylibl-ilm (a baby student of knowledge). The
more you know, the more you feel ignorant.

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The beauty of our tradition is that it is so fast. If you open a book on the fiqh of worship, there
are 80 pages on which water is pure and which water is impure and which water is in between.
These 80 pages talking about the purity of water you wont find a scholar in another religion
who can write about the foundations of his faith and creed.
There is the term of one who is knowledgeable. Ulem means one who has studied and has
ilm or one who has the title of lim. When you hear aadth about ulem, they are talking
about one who is more learned than his peers.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The virtue of a learned person (lim) over the
worshipper (bid) is like my virtue over the lowest one of the ummah. This is the difference
between the two.
Some people have made knowledge something exclusive and something that can only be
gained by a select few while the remaining people should be ignorant. Shaykh Omar and
Shaykh Hatem are translating a book The History of Legislation and the author talks about
how the ummah went through stages of development when everyone wanted to be a scholar
and then a period of imitation where everyone was a follower. There was no longer a process
of ijtihd and the doors of knowledge were closed. People were so satisfied with imitation and
essential points were being lost.
Imm al-Shabi said, The only people who used to seek this knowledge were those who
combined two characteristics: intelligence and worship. If a person was intelligent but not
devout, it would be said that only worshippers can attain the knowledge, so he would not seek
it. If a person was devout but not intelligent, it would be said that only the intelligent can seek
the knowledge, so he would not try to seek it. The worshipper would say that the knowledge
belongs to a certain group of people and he cant attain that level. Imm al-Shabi is
condemning his generation and said, I fear that one day people who are neither intelligent
nor devout will be the ones who claim knowledge because the intelligent will abandon it and
the devout will abandon it.
The Importance of Seeking Knowledge
Abul-Dard (rayAllhu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, He who follows a path in quest of knowledge, Allh will make the path of Jannah
easy to him. The angels lower their wings over the seeker of knowledge, being pleased with
what he does. The inhabitants of the heavens and the earth, and even the fish in the depth of
the oceans, seek forgiveness for him. The superiority of the learned man over the devout
worshipper is like that of the full moon to the rest of the stars (i.e., in brightness). The learned
are the heirs of the Prophets who bequeath neither dnr nor dirham but only that of
knowledge; and he who acquires it, has in fact acquired an abundant portion. (Abu Dwd &
al-Tirmidhi).
The Intention behind Seeking Knowledge
Al-Ghazli said, We started off seeking knowledge for other than Allh, but knowledge refused

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to give itself except for Allh. He belonged to a tradition of scholars and said that when he
started off, he was doing it for something else, but he found the knowledge was not being
retained and was refusing to come to him. Al-Ghazli went through phases and had an
extreme phase where he said things that were compliant with the Sunnah. Imm al-Jawzi
summarized the Iya in the book Minhjl-Qidn and included the authentic aadth. Ibn
Qudmah wrote Muqtaar Minhjl-Qidn.
Al-Ghazli tells a story: One time I was walking and had all my books. A thief came and stole
all of my money and all of my books. I called out to the thief and asked, Can I have my books
back? You will not use them anyway. The man said to him, Is your knowledge in these
books? I said, Yes. The thief then said, How will you claim to have any knowledge then?
The thief shamed him, and he spent some time purifying his intention. Bidyatl-Hidyah is a
book on his journey finding Allh and purifying his intentions.
Make sure that you are seeking knowledge from the right reasons, otherwise from the very
start, your pursuit will not be blessed, and Allh will humiliate you. Abdullh b. Masd once
told a man, If you are going to seek knowledge for one of three reasons, then dont seek it.
The first one is if you want to seek knowledge so that you can shame the ignorant Many
times people will take one class and go home and tell their parents that everything they have
been doing is bidah and arm. All of a sudden they are shaming their parents, which is not
the intention of the classes. The problem is not with the knowledge but with the intention of
the person seeking the knowledge. Or if you like arguing with the people of knowledge. Or
if you are doing it so that you can draw attention to yourself. Sometimes people say, Shaykh,
I want to go to Madnah or go study because I want to be a big speaker like x or y. The life of a
speaker is not as glamorous as you think it is. It is not fun to be away from your family so
many days of the week. Also, if that is why you are starting to seek knowledge, then there is
something wrong. If you want to be a big-shot speaker, then it is wrong. Ibn Masd said, If
you are doing it for one of those three reasons, then dont do it.
The amount of intention and sincerity will show in its efforts. When someone has sincerity,
they will continuously work and show enthusiasm. If a person has sincerity in the masjid, then
it doesnt matter what transitions the board goes through but he will keep on working the
same way because he wasnt doing it for them in the first place. Enthusiasm and effort come
from sincerity.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, He who does not acquire knowledge with the sole intention of seeking the
Pleasure of Allh but for worldly gain will not smell the fragrance of Jannah on the Day of
Resurrection. (Abu Dwd).
The Effort of Seeking Knowledge
Abdullh narrated on the authority of his father Yaya: Knowledge cannot be acquired with
sloth.
When you read the name Abdullh by itself in books of tafsr or fiqh, it refers to Ibn Masd.
When you read al-asan refers to al-asan al-Bari.

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Abdullh (this is Abdullh b. Yaya b. Man) said on the authority of his father Yaya,
Knowledge cannot be acquired by laziness.
Al-Qi Abu Ysuf is the greatest scholar in the anafi madh-hab (if not the second greatest).
He said, Al-ilm (knowledge) will not give you part of it unless you give it all of you. You will
not attain even a little bit of knowledge unless you give it your all.
Imm Amad was the most famous scholar in the world towards the end of his life. He wanted
to study from different scholars who were inferior to him. He was attending the circles of his
students and would wrap his face and act like someone else. Imm Siraaj Wahaj said, One of
the problems we see with Western scholars and imms is that none of them attend each others
lectures. Compare that to the scholars of the past who would sit in the lectures of their
students. Imm Amad really wanted to learn from a scholar in Yemen of the name AbdulRazzq al-Sinni who was a famous scholar of adth. Abdul-Razzq wanted to study with
Imm Amad, but Imm Amad beat him to it. Imm Amad said he was going to go to ajj and
ask him to study with him, but he was too poor to go to ajj, so he took a job carrying peoples
luggage. On the way to ajj, he was carrying peoples luggage. He reached ajj. At that time, it
was a journey requiring months of time. He gets to ajj and sees Imm Abdul-Razzq, and
Imm Abdul-Razzq says, May Allh forgive you. I would have come to you. What questions
do you have? He said, I have to come to you in your home and learn from you there. Imm
Amad in ajj took a job to carry peoples luggage to Yemen to follow Imm Abdul-Razzq to
sit with him and ask him five questions.
The people in the past traveled from city to city and took a journey of months to learn one
adth. Now we have the internet, scholars who come to you and scholars in your own locality
and people still dont go. The effort comes from the sincerity a person has.
In those days, the scholars would only take you as a student if you were sincere. Al-Amash
wanted people to work hard for the knowledge. He had a dog in front of his house and said
that if anyone wanted to learn aadth, they had to get past the dog. When the dog died, he
was sad and said, This dog died fisabilillh.
If you really want it, you have to struggle for it. Abdullh b. Abbs became the scholar of this
ummah at the age of 13. He spent less than 3 years with the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam). He was 10 years old when he started with the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), but
he was so keen on following his every move and observing him and learning from him. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) made du for him: O Allh, give him an understanding of
this religion. When the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) died, Abdullh b. Abbs told his
friend, Today all of the abah are here, so lets go start seeking knowledge from them. His
habit became to sleep in front of the doors of the abah until they came out. They would ask
him, Why are you doing this? You are the cousin of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam).
He said, Knowledge has to be pursued. The abah would start checking their doors before
sleeping to make sure he was not sleeping there. This is why he became the great person he
became. People who start off with a bad intention get paid back and Allh exposes them. He
has a beautiful statement: I humiliated and humbled myself as a student, so I was honored as a

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teacher. He went through the trials and hardship of knowledge and did not stop and was not
arrogant with his teachers. He was not pursuing it for the wrong reasons.
The students of those students of knowledge who start attacking other scholars and arguing
with other people end up doing the same thing to them and they are exposed the same away.
The reason why you make effort is because the believer cannot stand to not know about his
Lord. What does this mean? Imm Ibn Uthaymn was asked about blind following and said,
Blind following is permissible, but it is like going to the bathroom. You know you have to do
it, but you dont want to live in the bathroom your entire life. This means that the believer
wants to know everything about his Lord and his dn.
adth: The believer is never satisfied. His thirst is never quenched from good that he would
hear. As much as the students immersed themselves in knowledge,e they were afraid of
saying that they knew everything, and they would easily say, I dont know. Allah knows
best. (Shaykh Amad Shkir classified it as authentic, Imm al-Ghazli classified it as weak)
They were afraid to speak about knowledge because they realized, once they immersed
themselves in it, how extensive it really is. Imm al-Shabi, the teacher of Imm Abu anfah,
was asked a question and said, I dont know. The man said, What kind of a scholar are you
then? He said, Even the angels said we dont know, so if they can say this then who am I?
In Sratl-Baqarah, the angels said they dont know. A person immerses himself with the efforts
and doesnt do it to argue with people or to shame anyone and he doesnt do it to claim that he
has all knowledge, and he is not ashamed to say, I dont know, when he doesnt know, and he
actually likes saying I dont know because it is the safer answer.
Ibn Abbs (rayAllhu anhu) narrated something about Umar b. Al-Khab (rayAllhu anhu).
Bonds based on knowledge are beautiful. Umar says, I used to have a neighbor from the anr
who would live in the area of Bani Ummayyah, and we used to take turns with the alaqah of
the Messenger (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). My neighbor would attend one day and I would
attend the other day, and we would teach each other what we learned. You cant make it to
every class, but you want others to tell you what they learned. You want to try to gather as
much as you can.
Imm al-Dhahabi said that from time of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) his time to his
time, he documented 10,000 women scholars of adth. When people ask the question why
arent women imms? Tell them that we settled that a long time ago. A scholar of adth has a
much higher status than an imm. It is obviously not because of her status that a woman
should not be an imm because otherwise she wouldnt be a scholar of adth. Imm al-Dhahabi
said, There has never been a weak female narrator of adth. In ilml-rijl, there has never
been a weak female narrator of adth.
There is an idea outside and inside of the community that women should not learn. People
dont think I want my daughter to be a scholar or lim. Unfortunately we dont think that
way and we have devalued the concept of women seeking knowledge in our dn. ishah
(rayAllhu anha) said, The best women are the women of the anr because they didnt allow

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their sense of modesty to stop them from seeking knowledge. Imm Ibn Hajar described how
the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) forbade the men from forbidding the women from
going to the masjid and said, One of the reasons for that is their insistence on seeking
knowledge. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) gave them a separate day to teach them,
and they still wanted to attend the alaqaht. The adth of the punishment of the grave is
narrated by Asm bint Abi Bakr, and she said, I was trying to hear what he (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) was saying, but the men were crying so loudly I couldnt hear. When people were
leaving, I started to ask what was making everyone cry. They said, The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, Verily in the grave there is a trial that is more severe than the trial of
al-Dajjl. She was there and wanted to know.
Look at the lives of the wives of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). The books of aadth
would be incomplete with the aadth of the ishah (rayAllhu anha). Some scholars said
that some of the wisdom behind Allh commanding the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) to
marry her while she was young was that so she could live longer to teach us about the Sunnah
of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). She narrated over 1,600 aadth and gives us the
inner look of how he was inside of his house. Urwah b. Zubayr said, I have heard the
speeches of Abu Bakr, Umar, Uthmn, Ali, and Abu Ubaydah b. Jurrah and none were as
eloquent as ishah. This shows that they did not look at her scholarship as a threat or as
something that was wrong.
Ibn Taymiyyah said, 48% of the fatwa from the companions came from Umm Salamah. She
was a great scholar and advised the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) in udaybiyyah. Abu
Msa al-Ashari said, We, the companions of Allhs Messenger, never had difficulty in
understanding aadth except that when we asked ishah, she knew everything about it.
ishah was asked by the senior companions about inheritance laws.
Women should step up their game and become scholars and fill the void that we have in the
ummah today.
Being Purified by Knowledge
The Distinction between Ban Isrl and the Ummah of Muammad (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam)
Allh (subnahu wa tala) has commanded us to be purified by the knowledge and internalize
it first. In the Qurn in Sratl-Baqarah, Ibrhm (alayhil-salm) makes a du to Allh and says,
O Allh, send amongst them a prophet who will teach them the book and the wisdom and
purify them. Imm al-Shfii said in the Qurn, ikmah means Sunnah. Allh answered the
du thousands of years later. In Sratl-Jumuah, Allh says, He is the one sent amongst the
illiterate. A messenger from amongst them who would recite upon them his verses and purify
them thereby and teach them the application of it (ikmah). Allh put tazkiyah before
application. Allh perfected the du of Ibrhm (alayhil-salm). After this, Allh describes
how the scholars of the children of Isrl were. They were like donkeys stacking books on top
of their backs. They had much knowledge and understanding, but it was never internalized,

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so they used the law for inappropriate reasons. The knowledge did not penetrate the heart
and it became a disease for them.
The most important function of knowledge is to allow your heart to be enlightened by it. Imm
Mlik said, Knowledge is not memorizing numerous narrations but is instead a light that
Allh places in the heart of the believer.
The reason why we pursue knowledge is for tazkiyah and not to learn interesting facts. Imm
al-Shabi was asked the name of Iblss wife, and he said, I dont know because I wasnt invited
to the wedding! Everyone will get from knowledge what he wants.
The greatest indication that your pursuit of knowledge is not for a sincere intention is when
you only want to learn something interesting or cool. One of the first things people start to
delve into is the fitnah and the battle between Ali and Muwiyah and determining who was
right. Imm Abu anfah was asked, What do you think about what happened between Ali
and Muwiyah? He said, I seriously doubt that on the Day of Judgment that Allh will ask
me about Ali and Muwiyah. Allh is going to ask me about Numn (his name). We should
try to stay away from knowledge that is not beneficial.
There is a famous story: Sufyn b. Uyaynah, a great scholar of adth, once had a student with
him who was following him around and attending his lectures. Sufyn wanted to know what
he is learning and asked him to share the knowledge. He said, I learned three aadth. I
learned the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) loves sweets and honey. I learned the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If ish prayer and food coincide, eat first. I learned that the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The reward has gone to the people who have not
fasted. (referring to when people are on a journey).
What are you looking for? You will get what you are looking for. Sometimes someone sits in a
alaqah and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said in an authentic adth, It may be that
the listener of good comprehends it better than the speaker. Sometimes the person who is
listening will catch something that the speaker never understood or thought about from the
adth. Because of the purity of your heart and the purity of your intellect and what you are
looking for, you will turn it into something purifying for you and understand it and
comprehend it even more than the speaker.
Umar b. Abdul-Azz said, Whoever makes his religion the object of argumentation will
frequently change it. Dont make your religion a religion of argumentation. You can give
naah, but then move on and dont be a frequent arguer.
Du of Abul-Dard:
I ask Allh for mn that never wears out, for certainty that is truthful, and for knowledge that
is beneficial.

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Choosing the Right Scholar
Many times people say, How do I know whether or not I should be learning from this person?
How do we figure it out? Many people think that scholars are insignificant in our religion and
there is no need for them. In the US, there is an academic trend and people think that the
knowledge belongs to everyone so anyone can say what he wants.
We need to address the no scholar mentality. The ulem have protected the knowledge and
tradition of this religion for centuries, so we cannot say that anyone can do it and that we
dont need scholars. The concept of ijm (consensus of the scholars) has protected the
religion. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The scholars of my ummah will never
come to an agreement on something that is wrong. The scholars interpret the Sunnah. To say
that we can all pick it up and read a book and do what we want is inappropriate. There is a
need for scholars. Some people treat the ulem like priests.
Imm al-asan al-Bari (raimahullh) said, Scholars are more needed than food and drink.
Food and drink sustain the body, and scholars sustain the soul.
How do we know which scholar we should listen to? There are two very important things to
look for. You have to critique the person and think deeply about it. Look for correctness and
mannerisms.
Ibn Srn (rayAllhu anhu) said: The knowledge of adth (in the same manner all other
religious subjects) is included in the dn. Therefore, before acquiring knowledge, be aware from
whom knowledge is acquired.
Abu Aliyah said, I would study for days to a man to hear knowledge from him, and before I
would start learning from him, I would observe his prayer for days. If he was someone keen to
make sure to pray on time and took time in the motions of prayer, then I would listen to him.
If he was neglectful in his prayer, then I thought he would be neglectful in all other matters
too.
-
Correctness
Islam did not come so that we listen to a group of people and not question them. Islam
came to free your mind, but to free your mind in that you have the right to ask scholars
about their evidence and where they got it from. You can ask if narrations are authentic or
not. The scholars should be questioned with adab. Some people are very rude to the
scholars.
There is an idea that you arent supposed to ask for evidence or dall. Imm Abu anfah
said, It is impermissible for someone to follow me without knowing my evidences. You
should know the dall. It is all to make taqld and you can follow, but even when you
follow someone in their opinions, you should know his proofs and why he has the opinions
that he has. Allh says, Ask the people of knowledge if you dont know.

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If a scholar tells you that you dont have the right to question his knowledge, then it means
you should turn around and run. A person should not shy away from sharing the evidence.
If a scholar says, Let me look into it, then it is a sign of a good scholar.
There is a priest mentality that he is shaykh so-and-so and you cant ask him questions
about his evidence, but you should be able to ask. Allh said that the Jews took their rabbis
and priests and lords besides Allh because the rabbis were making things prohibited
permissible and things permissible prohibited.
The only unquestioned sources in Islam are Allh and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam).
If a shaykh starts insulting another shaykh, then it means that you need to avoid that
shaykh. When you are asking, you need to refer back to the Qurn and Sunnah. Ask the
scholars to provide evidence with good adab and manners.
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Mannerisms
You never find scholars finding credentials by saying they are descendants of the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) or awliyah. If a person says, I am beloved to Allh, then it
means he is not. Ali (rayAllhu anhu) said, Allh has hidden the awliyah amongst his
servants. It is a secret relationship some people have with Allh and He adorns them on
the Day of Judgment. None of the four imms said that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) taught them something in a dream to teach to others. People who try to claim
credentials through miracles or status in society are people you should avoid.
Imm Layth b. Sad, the teacher of Imm Mlik, said, Even if I saw a follower of innovation
walking on water, I would reject him. This was reported to Imm al-Shfii who said, He
did not go far enough. Even if he was walking in the air air, I still wouldnt accept him.
Today we have a lot of personality cults. The attitude of the scholars was that they are
human and we are human. If a person wants you to kiss his hands or feet or treat him a
certain way, it contradicts who he is supposed to be in terms of scholarship.
At the time of Imm Mlik, the khalfah al-Hrn al-Rashd said, I want to hang the
Muwaa inside of the Kabah. Imm Mlik said, No, dont do that! That would not allow
people to differ, and who am I to have my book hanging in the Kabah? It is just a book of
adth and opinions. Had Imm Mlik accepted that offer, Allh would have humiliated
him and people would not have accepted and loved him like they do today.
Shaykh Ibn Jibrl was one of the most knowledgeable men on the face of the earth at the
end of his life. Whenever people met him when he was in his 80s and tried to kiss his hand,
he would fling them away. The scholars that dont accept this kind of treatment for
themselves, you should try to honor them. Avoid those who ascribe titles to themselves
and hold out their hands.

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Abu Bakr al-Mai man said, I sat in the circle of Imm Amad for 12 years while he read
the Musnad to his children. I never wrote down a single aadth but looked at his behavior,
character, and etiquettes.
asan b. Isml said, I heard my father say, There would gather in the circle of Amad
five thousand people or more. Less than five hundred would write, and the rest would look
at his good manners and behavior. Imm Amad would look at the people writing down
and say, Stop writing. Who am I to have my words written down?
Imm Sufyn al-Thawri said, A man who wanted to learn aadth would study manners for
20 years first.
If a person is arrogant and doesnt treat people properly, he hasnt internalized the
knowledge.
Imm Ibn al-Qayyim (raimahullh) said, If you are going to follow a scholar blindly, make
sure you follow someone who is dead because a living person is still subject to his desires
and may become corrupt and lead you astray. This is profound advice. Sometimes a
scholar will go through a fitnah and change his opinions.
Look at their character and how much they apply the knowledge they are teaching.
Acting upon the Knowledge
The most important aspect of knowledge is purifying yourself. The second part is acting upon
it. Dr. Abdul-Rahman Sumayt was a medical doctor in Kuwait and opened many charitable
clinics. Over 5 million people accepted Islam on his hands before he passed away. He is a
doer. This is one of the most important things because no matter how much knowledge you
have, if you dont benefit yourself and others, then it is absolutely pointless and you are like a
library that has closed down. This is where we find the difference between people.
When Allh chooses good for a person, He opens the door of action for him and closes the
door of argumentation. When Allh chooses evil for a person, He closes the door of action to
him and opens the door of argumentation. If you are a doer and get things done and avoid
issues of argumentation, then it is true knowledge, otherwise it is just information.
Ibn Taymiyyah was given the title Shaykhl-Islm by other people. Ibn Taymiyyah was born
into a family of scholars. His father was a scholar, his grandfather Amad b. Taymiyyah was a
great scholar, and his grandfather was such a great scholar that his son was lost between the
sun and the moon. Ibn Taymiyyah had brothers who were all scholars too. Whenever we talk
about Ibn Taymiyyah, we are only speaking about one man. Imm al-Dhahabi said, Imm Ibn
Taymiyyah (Taqiyl-dn) had a brother names Sharfl-dn who was more knowledgeable than
him. Why is it that when we say Ibn Taymiyyah we are referring to Taqiyl-dn and not his
brother? Ibn Taymiyyah was a doer, and he was on the forefront of dawah. He wrote books.
Aqqatl-wasaiyyah (The Balanced Creed) is studied over an entire semester at Madnah, and he
wrote it in one day. He was on the forefront of everything.

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Imm al-Nawawi (raimahullh) wrote Riy al-lin (The Gardens of the Righteous), 40 adth
Nawawi, and a shar on a Muslim. When you think of him, you probably think of an old
man. He was arguably the most productive scholar in history, and he died when he was 36
years old. It is about being a doer and not a talker. It is important to act upon the knowledge
that you have.
Dimam b. Thaibah came to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) when he was lying down
and talking to the companions. The man brought his camel and tied it to the post and was in a
rush, so he didnt tie it properly. He said, I am going to ask you some questions and wont be
diplomatic. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Ask. He said, Ya Muammad,
who raised the skies? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh. He said, And who pegged
the mountains? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh. He said, Who flattened the
earth? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh. He said, I ask you by the One who raised
the skies and pegged the mountains and flattened the earth, did Allh send you as a Messenger
to us? The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) stood up and said, By Allh, yes. He said, I
ask you by the One who raised the skies and pegged the mountains and flattened the earth, did
Allh command you to command us with five prayers? He said, Yes. He continued and
asked about the five pillars in the same manner. The man then says, By Allh, I am not going
to do any more or any less. He rushed and left and Anas b. Mlik said he didnt eve untie the
camel but took the post with him. Anas said, Before he left, he said, I am Ibn Thalibah. The
sun hadnt set that day except that everyone in the valley of Numn had accepted Islam. He
was a doer. He put his action into knowledge right away even though it was very little.
Al-Imm al-Shfi said: Knowledge is not that which is memorized but instead that which
benefits.
Practice What You Preach
Do you order righteousness of the people and forget yourselves while you recite the Scripture?
Then will you not reason? (al-Baqarah: 44)
Allh (subnahu wa tala) tells us to practice what we preach. Imm al-asan al-Bari was told
by the people to give a khubah telling people to free their slaves because too many people in
Madnah were engaged in the slave trade. He stood up the next day at the khubah and didnt
say anything. He did the same the next week. In the third week, he gave a khubah on freeing
slaves. Why didnt he talk about it in the previous two weeks? Imm al-asan al-Bari didnt
own a slave and was afraid to tell people to free a slave when he hadnt done so himself. In
those two weeks, he took a job and saved enough money to free a slave.

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Dont Preach What You Dont Practice
O you who have believed, why do you say what you do not do? Great is hatred in the sight of
Allh that you say what you do not do. (al-aff: 2-3)
The most hated thing to Allh is saying something you dont do. The first category is a person
who doesnt make an effort to practice what he is preaching. The second category is a person
who is a hypocrite because he purposely tells people to do things he has no intention to do
whatsoever. This person is increasing in disease.
Al-Khab al-Baghddi narrated that ishah (rayAllhu anha) had a young student who would
ask her questions. One day she asked, Son, have you put into practice what you have learned
from me? He said, No, O mother, I have not. She said, Then why are you increasing Allhs
proof against us? Stop increasing Allhs proof against you and me.
Abu Aliyah was a great scholar and would leave if he had more than 4 people in his lecture.
Sufyn al-Thawri has the title amrl-muminn fil-adth. He wouldnt teach if more than three
people sat with him. In those days, the knowledge still continued because there were so many
other scholars. In these days, we have a shortage, so you should not stop doing but should
keep trying to refine your intention. As long as you are actively engaged in trying to do what
you are saying, then inshAllh you wont be held accountable. When you intentionally tell
people that which you purposely dont do, then it becomes a problem.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The best amongst you is he who learns the
Qurn and teaches it. Al-asan al-Bari said, Learning something and teaching it to a
believer is more beloved to me than the world and everything in it. They loved passing on
the knowledge but at the same time they were constantly engaged in struggling to practice
what they preached.
Ali said, Narrate to people what they can understand. Just because you learn something in
a class, dont go and tell it to someone who is not ready to hear it. Some people are not ready
to hear certain aadth because they are weak and their faith is still developing. Dont tell
people that which they are not ready to comprehend.
Imm al-asan al-Bari said, Seek knowledge in a way that doesnt harm your worship, and
seek to worship Allh in a way that does not harm your pursuit of knowledge.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) went out to people and shouted that the inheritance of the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was being distributed in the masjid. He told people to run
and get the inheritance. The people all rushed to the masjid. When they got there, they saw

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alaqahs and people reading Qurn and people praying. The people came to Abu Hurayrah and
said, All we saw was people reading Qurn and other things. Abu Hurayrah said, This is the
inheritance of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam).
The Pursuit that Never Ends: What is the greatest difficulty of knowledge?
Imm al-Ghazli said there are three types of students of knowledge:
1. Those who seek knowledge with evil intentions from the beginning.
2. One who loves the praise he is getting as a result of the knowledge he is gaining, but
his intention is to please Allh (subnahu wa tala).
3. Those who are successful. The one who purely dedicates himself to seek the
pleasure of Allh while he is teaching and learning.
Imm al-Ghazli said there are three difficulties of knowledge:
1. Keeping yourself in the pursuit of knowledge.
2. A person acts upon that knowledge.
3. Being saved and protected from your knowledge. In Spiderman, Dr. Octopus
wanted to create arms to do good, but the arms took over. If you use your
knowledge for corrupt reasons (i.e. to elevate your status, get more money), the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Anyone who seeks knowledge for
something worldly will not even smell the fragrance of Paradise.
Make sure the knowledge humbles you and doesnt make you prideful. Do this by consistently
studying. When you go to college, you finish a class and take the exam and never look back at
the subject. Ilm is different. You go through each subject and internalize it and never stop
pursuing.
Imm Abu anfahs two greatest students were al-Qi Abu Ysuf and Muammad al-Shaybni.
Their status is so high in the anafi madh-hab that sometimes their opinions supersede the
opinion of Imm Abu anfah. Imm Abu anfah was not a scholar until his 20s. He was a
successful merchant and businessman. Imm al-Shabi saw Imm Abu anfah in the market
and told him that he had the special qualities of honesty and intelligence and should become a
faqh. Imm Abu anfah would look for people with great qualities and polish them and turn
them into scholars. He saw Abu Ysuf as a child and told his mother that he had special
qualities and wanted to teach him. He said, One day your child will be fed from the hands of
the kings. This is exactly what happened because he had such a high status as a judge that
the khulaf were after him to serve him.
One day Imm Abu anfah realized that al-Qi Abu Ysuf was not in the alaqah and asked
where he was. He was told that Abu Ysuf started his own circle. Imm Abu anfah wanted to
bring him back to the alaqah, so he told one of his students to sit in his alaqah and ask him,
If a person takes his garment to a tailor and pays him to tailor his garment and the tailor
steals the thawb and then later feels bad and returns the thawb, then does the man demand his
money back from the tailor? If he says yes then tell him he is wrong. If he says no then tell
him he is wrong. The student did this, and then Abu Ysuf went to Imm Abu anfah and
Imm Abu anfah started laughing because he knew why he was coming. Imm Abu anfah

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gave a brilliant answer: If the tailor took the thawb and had the intention of stealing it before
doing the job, then he has to give the money back, but if he did the job and then kept the thawb
and felt bad and returned it, then he keeps the money.
A way to humble yourself is: pursue the knowledge, remain in pursuit and never think you are
above the knowledge, and realize that you are not doing knowledge a favor by teaching and
learning. Allh is doing you a favor. Now the students feel like they are doing the teacher a
favor by staying, and the teacher feels like he is doing Islam a favor. This is a problem, and
knowledge is the victim.
The khalfah al-Hrn al-Rashd sent a messenger to Imm Mlik (raimahullh) to tell him that
he wants him to come to his house to teach his kids Qurn. Imm Mlik said his children are
like anyone else and need to come to the masjid to learn. The khalfah sent two bags of gold
with the same message, and he told the messenger to tell the khalfah that his children have to
come to the masjid because knowledge is that which is sought. Al-Hrn al-Rashd wanted to
teach Imm Mlik a lesson. There was a practice that was established in the later Umayyad
dynasty where the khalfah would have a high chair during the khubah. Al-Hrn al-Rashd
was a righteous man and didnt like this practice, but he wanted to remind everyone he was
the khalfah, so he asked for the chair to be put in the masjid during the khubah so that he could
remind Imm Mlik who the boss is. Imm Mlik walked in and ignored him and stood on the
minbar and started the khubah. He said, In the Name of Allh. Peace and blessings on the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whoever
lowers himself for Allh, Allh will elevate his status, and then he stepped down. The khalfah
started crying.
Look at how little we value the people of knowledge today. In Muslim countries, the shaykh is
the lowest person in society and couldnt pass at anything else. The reason why we dont value
the people of knowledge is because we dont value the knowledge itself. You have to put
yourself in a position where you are seeking knowledge and looking for it and feel like Allh is
doing you a favor by allowing you to seek the knowledge.
The greatest way to keep yourself humble and pure is to consistently remain in the path of
knowledge. Allh says, Those who truly fear Allh are the learned ones. Why? They know
Allh (subnahu wa tala) and go after the religion.
Establishing an Environment of Accountability
Everybody needs people to keep them in check. Even the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, My Lord taught me manners. To do that to someone is to put them in check. The
scholars had the concept of the muadhdhib, which is a person who will keep you in check. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The believer is the mirror of his brother. What is
the function of a mirror? It exposes to you faults and things that you would otherwise not
have been able to see. When you look in the mirror, things become exposed to you. When the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) says this, it means to have people who can expose faults
you would otherwise not have been aware of or recognized. You need people to call you out
and give you advice. When people quote the dn is naah, they are saying they have the

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right to put you down. The word naah, which means advice, was used by Arabs when they
would say, I purified the honey. Fitnah is purity from Allh, tazkiyah is purity from yourself,
and naah is when other people purify you.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) mentioned to us a man who did the actions of the
people of Paradise until he was one yard away from Paradise and then he does an action of the
people of Hellfire and becomes of the people of Hellfire. Some scholars say that one of the
reasons for that is that he was not aware of his faults. You need people to call you out and tell
you advice and point out your flaws. The first people to do that are the people of knowledge.
Developing the Attitude of a True Student
1. The role of the people of knowledge

The first people to give you advice and point out flaws are the people of knowledge. Do not
give bayah to a scholar. The function of bayah has only been used with the khalfah.
Asking the people of knowledge is not exposing your sins. You should go to them and ask
them for help and ask them for advice when you are struggling with something. Keep the
people of knowledge in your life. The more you give, the more you should be receiving.
The people of knowledge should do this too. Seek advice from those more knowledgeable
than you to correct you.
Umar b. Abdul-Azz was the grandson of Umar b. al-Khab. His father, Abdul-Azz b.
Marwn, was appointed the governor of Egypt. Umar b. Abdul-Azz told his father that
he wanted to stay in Madnah with the scholars. The father agreed with the condition that
li al-Haysan, a great scholar, would watch over him. One day Umar b. Abdul-Azz
came to altl-fajr after takbratl-irm. li said, I didnt see you before alh, where
were you? He said, I was just combing my hair. li wrote a letter to his father to tell
him that his son came to altl-fajr after takbratl-irm because he was combing his hair,
and his father sent a letter back along with a barber to shave his sons head. When Umar
b. Abdul-Azz became the leader, he kept the scholars on top of him and kept asking for
advice. They would sit together and remember death. His favorite scholar was the
Ubaydullh b. Abdullh b. Masd. One time Umar b. Abdul-Azz went to the door of
Ubaydullh b. Abdullh b. Masd and knocked and sat for an hour. When Ubaydullh
came out an hour later, Umar b. Abdul-Azz asked, Why didnt you come out when I
knocked the first time? He told him, I didnt want you to think that just because you are
the khalfah that you can knock on the door and come in and dont have to wait. After
Ubaydullh passed away, he said, If Ubaydullh was still alive, I would govern all of you
while he governs me. Having people of knowledge in your life who can correct you and
advise you and counsel you is extremely important.
2. The company of the righteous
Umar b. al-Khab said, May Allh have mercy on whomever guides us to our faults.
Imm al-Shfii said, I love righteous people even though Im not amongst them. I hate the
corrupt people although I am amongst them. He was talking about the importance of

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having righteous people around you. Your standards change. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, The good friend is like the one who sells perfume even if you dont
buy of him, you smell of the fragrance. The bad friend is like the blacksmith even if you
dont buy from him, you will smell like smoke. If you surround yourself with righteous
people, it will up your standard. Ask them for advice and ask them to point out your faults.
Umar b. Al-Khab said, Not a single one of you sees a fault of mine except that he points
it out. After he said this, people started to tell him his faults, and he loved it. He said,
May Allh have mercy on a man who points out my faults. Ali b. Abi lib said, The
worst possible friend a person can have is a person who flatters you all the time and
expects you to flatter them in return. These are not your friends but your enemies. You
want someone who is going to call you out and tell you what you are doing wrong. Abu
Bakr and Umar had that special relationship. Umar was a much bigger man than Abu
Bakr. Usmah b. Zayd had been appointed the leader of the Muslim army by the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) when he was only 17. When Raslullh died, the people told
Umar to talk to Abu Bakr about Usmah because they thought he was too young to lead
the army. They waited outside the house of Abu Bakr. Umar went inside and said, I think
he may not be as qualified. Abu Bakr grabbed Umar from the beard and said, May your
mother lose you! You want me to do something different than what the Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) ordered? Umar said, No. Umar went out and told the people, May
all of your mothers lose you!
One of the most valuable advices Shaykh Omar received from a great scholar: Keep your
old friends because now that you are popular, people may just be befriending you because
you are popular. You need to have those people in your life who love you enough to
correct you.
3. Consider what your enemies say about you
Al-Ghazli said, You dont find the truth of your flaws until you hear about what your
enemies say about you. Sometimes there is truth in what they say, even if it is just 20%. A
man came to Zayn al-Abidn, the great grandson of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam),
and spoke ill of him. Zayn said, Everything you said is true, and what you dont know
about me is probably worse. May Allh reward you for pointing out my faults. He gave
the man a gift.
A man came to Imm al-Shfii and said, You are a sinner and liar. Imm al-Shfii said, O
Allh, if he is telling the truth, then make him succeed and purify me from that sin. If he is
lying, then forgive him for what he said.
If more than one person is saying something about you, then it means that it is probably
true.
4. Learn from the flaws of people around you
Imm al-Ghazli says, sa was asked how he learned the manners he had, and he said he
learned from the corrupt rabbis and their flaws. (weak tradition)

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Learn to not have those flaws. How can you make sure you have nothing from them?
5. People of all ages
This is hard for the youth and elders. In the Qurn, older people have a hard time
accepting from younger people. Ibrhms father did not accept from him.
Imm al-Muzani said, In the past, when the older people would see the younger people,
they would say, I need to learn from him because I preceded him in bad deeds. When the
younger people would see the older people, they would say, I need to learn from him
because he has preceded me in good. Everyone was trying to learn from everyone. This
is really powerful.
Imm al-Shfii was teaching the fiqh of fasting in Madnah in the masjid of the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) while he was drinking water and not fasting. People were
wondering why their shaykh was eating and drinking while teaching the fiqh of fasting and
asked him. He said, I have not reached the age of puberty. Someone asked, How old are
you? He said, Mind your own business. The man said, Why did you say that? He said,
I asked Imm Mlik this question and he told me this answer.
The elders should learn from the youth, and the youth should never feel too arrogant to
learn from those who are older.
6. Your family members
This is probably the most significant. Nobody after Allh knows you better than your
family, so you need to make sure that you ask them for advice and seek advice from them.
One of the fallacies with great men and great women is that they have demons in their
closet, which come out later in life. The people inside the household have a totally
different tale than everyone else. One of the beauties of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) is that the more you know him, the more you love him. Anas said, He was the best
person of character. He knew him better than others. The wives of the Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) had nothing but beautiful things to say about him. When Umm Salamah
when heard the adth the best amongst you is he who is the best to his family, she would
say, You have told the truth, Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam).
No one knows you better than those exposed to you for the most amount of time. Seek
naah from your husbands / wives. Establish the environment of accountability in the
home. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, May Allh have mercy on a man who
wakes up in the middle of the night and wakes his wife up, and if she refuses, he sprinkles
water on her face. May Allh have mercy on a woman who wakes up in the middle of the
night to pray and wakes her husband up, and if he refuses, she sprinkles some water on his
face. It is an environment of holding each other accountable. Create this environment in
the home.
Consider yourself a business, and you are marketing yourself to Allh (subnahu wa tala).
You are trying to seek the Face of Allh. As a business, when someone posts reviews, which
customers do you look at most? The most frequent buyers. Make sure those who are most

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exposed to you are satisfied most. The closer people are to you, the more they should see
your goodness.
If your product is flawed, it doesnt matter what your customers think. At the same time,
know that none of the advice you receive from people can replace your own tazkiyatl-nafs
and chastisement of yourself.
Do not become an unadvisable person. There is a adth in Bukhri from ishah: A man
came and sought permission to enter upon the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and he
said, Let him in, and what a horrible person he is and what a disgrace to his family. The
man came in and he (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) treated him with courtesy. After the man
left, ishah asked why he treated him with courtesy, and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, The worst of people are those who people avoid advising and correcting out
of fear of being abused. They know that you have a bad temper and stop giving you
advice. The worst people in the sight of Allh are those who dont want to take advice.
Many people have established a reputation of being unadvisable.
7. People above you and below you
Al-Fuayl b. Iy was asked about humbleness. He said, It is when you submit to the
truth and comply, no matter who you hear it from. Even if it is from the most ignorant of
people, you mandate yourself to comply. Create an attitude of wanting to be corrected.
Sufyn al-Thawri said, We loved a people from whom it was said to us fear Allh.
Abu Hurayrah was once guarding some of the charity. He caught a man taking from
charity. The man said he is poor and needs to take care of his family. Abu Hurayrah let
him go. He told the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) what happened, and the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said the man lied and will be back. The next day, the same thing
happened and Abu Hurayrah let him go. He told the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
what happened, and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said the man lied and will be
back. The third time, Abu Hurayrah said he was going to take the man to the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam), and the man said, Let me teach you something to protect your
money. He taught him yatl-kursi. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), That was
Shayn. He told the truth even though he was a liar. If Abu Hurayrah can learn from
Shayn, then you can learn from anyone.
Heed lessons from everyone. Ask the people around you to keep you in check. The worst
thing to do when someone gives you advice is to then ask them if you can give them advice.
If someone gives you advice, then in that same sitting, do not give them back advice
because your ego may have been bruised.
Seek advice and take it. Dont respond to it. Thank the person for giving you advice. It is
good for you to keep on seeking advice from people.

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Mudh b. Jabal (rayAllhu anhu) said, Seek knowledge, for seeking it for the sake of Allh is a
sign of consciousness of Allh, acquiring it is an act of worship, studying it is a glorification,
and searching for it is jihd.
Chapter 2 | Minding Your Own Business

Part of someones being a good Muslim is his leaving alone that which does not concern him.
(al-Tirmidhi)
For your own good
The one busy with the people will be distracted from Allh, but the one busy with Allh will be
distracted from even himself. Mind your own business. It will change your entire life if you
leave people alone and just worry about yourself.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) said the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Beware of
suspicion because suspicion is the worst of all lies. It is the lying of the heart. For your own
good and so that you dont waste your own time, dont follow peoples business.
Imm al-asan al-Bari said, One of the signs that Allh has abandoned you is when he busies
himself with what does not concern him. Allh says in Sratl-ujurt, If someone comes to
you with nab (news), then verify it. Nab in the Arabic language is different from khabr. In
English, they are both news. Nab is news that requires your response. Khabr is all news.
Allh says, If nab comes to you, then verify it. If any other news comes to you that doesnt
pertain to you, then you ignore it. If it has nothing to do with you, then it is not your business.
This is for your own good because it will waste your time and efforts. It leads to backbiting and
other things.
Umar b. al-Khab was on his night patrol. He would take rice and wheat to distribute to the
poor. One night Abdullh b. Masd was with him, and they heard music in someones house.
Umar peeked over the wall and saw an old man with a woman who should not be there, and
she is singing to him. Umar b. al-Khab says, O old man, shouldnt you be waiting for your
death? Fear Allh! The old man responded, You fear Allh! You have violated my rights by
spying on me. Umar b. al-Khab started crying and went to Abdullh b. Masd who asked
him what was wrong. Umar b. al-Khab didnt say anything and was so afraid that he had
violated someones rights. Later, he saw the old man in a gathering and whispered in his ear,
I just wanted to tell you that by Allh, I have never told anyone about this in my life, even
Abdullh b. Masd who was with me. The man whispered back, By Allh, I have not
committed these sins since that night.
For the good of your brother
Do not support your brothers devil against him. How many youth stop coming to the masjid
because they feel like they are being judged?

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Giving the benefit of the doubt

Give the person the benefit of the doubt. Give him 70 excuses, and if you cannot think of
excuses, then think that he has an excuse which you cant think of and dont know about.
Mind your own business and move on.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, He who sees something which should be kept
hidden and concealed will be on the Day of Judgment like the one who brought a dead girl
buried alive back to life. This is because you have saved the persons reputation.
If you find someone doing wrong, dont delve into their mistakes. Work on yourself and your
own faults.
Whenever you do have to advise people, advise them in a way that beautifies them and doesnt
disgrace them. There are three things you have to do:
1. Do not advise someone publicly except in the case of one who violates others publicly.
Imm al-Shfii said to advise someone publicly is humiliation and not naah.
2. Advise with gentleness. Abdullh b. Mubrak said to a man yelling at him in the masjid,
Am I worse than Firawn? He said, No. Abdullh b. Mubrak said, Are you better
than Msa? He said, No. Abdullh b. Mubrak said, Allh told Msa in the Qurn
to speak gentle words to Firawn, so why are you talking to me this way? Be gentle
when you advise. If youth come improperly dressed to the masjid, you should not
belittle them.
3. Make sure your intention is pure when you advise them and that your intention is to
elevate the person and not humiliate them. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, Whoever follows the awrah of his brother, Allh will expose him even if he is in
the middle of his home. Your intention should be to make the person a better person.
Imm al-Qisai forgot Sratl-Kfirn while reciting, and a man by the name of al-Yazdi
stood up and started to humiliate him. In the next alh, al-Yazdi stood to lead alh
and could not get past alamdulillhi rabbil lamn. Allh will get you back. Make
sure your intention is not to humiliate the person.
Cover the other person. When you cover someone, you hide their fault and beautify
them. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whoever covers the believer,
Allh will cover him on the Day of Judgment. Allh will conceal your faults on the Day
of Judgment. Imm al-Shfii said, Do not allow your tongue to mention the faults of
other people because you are covered in faults and other people have tongues too. If
you fall upon something displeasing of your brother, then conceal it and tell your eye
that other people have eyes too. Mind your own business! Work on yourself and tell
other people that you need their help.
What it says about your condition

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Chapter 3 | Treating Destructive Flaws

Zakh means to purify and to grow. When you purify, you allow for a thing to have its natural
growth. Treating the destructive flaws allows your soul to naturally grow. General rules
regarding treating destructive flaws:
Everything is treated with its opposite.
You treat extremes with extremes. You treat your arrogance by humbling yourself. Treat
your anger by trying to practice forbearance. Imm ibn al-Qayyim said, In order for a place to
contain something, it must be free from whatever contradicts it. The heart is a space, and the
more you put in the heart what is not Allh, the less the capacity will be to love Allh.
Prevention vs. Restoration
Some people may take this class and think, MshAllh, I have none of these problems and
dont backbite, dont lie, dont have pride issues and dont get anger. This is the greatest sign
of hypocrisy. Even as we go through these things and sometimes you think you dont have the
problem, it is important to take the measures to protect yourself from ever developing that
problem.
Shaykh Hatem says, An ounce of prevention is better than a pound of cure.
View every forbidden act as a war against Allh (subnahu wa tala).
Loving dunya (the world) too much
This is at root cause of pride, anger, and envy. Allh describes the speech of Ibls on the Day of
Judgment and says that Ibls on the Day of Judgment will say, Allh gave you a true promise,
and I gave you a promise too. Allh promises you things in the Hereafter, and Ibls promises
you things in the present. The skill is to renounce a present desire in the hopes of a future
promise you know is true.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, Allh promised you pleasures in the Hereafter, so seeking this dunya is
like cutting a plant before its harvest time. He also said, Dunya and khirah are like two
brides. The ugly one knows her lack of value so she displays herself, and the beautiful one
knows her value so she saves herself for the right one.
Consider the disease worse than its expression.
Curing Bad Character

- What is the meaning of khuluq?
Allh (subnahu wa tala) says in Sratl-Qalam: You are not by the blessing of your Lord a
crazy person. Allh is talking to the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). Raslullh
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) shunned the praise of people and so Allh said he is praised by Him.

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And you have a payment / reward that is everlasting. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) shunned the pleasures of this world, so Allh told him he has the pleasures of the
khirah that never lose value waiting for him. And you are on an exalted standard of
character. The Messenger (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) did not try to display something that
was false. This was not just a show from the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). Khuluq is on
the inside. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was not just displaying something to the
public. He was who he was (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). The more you read about his personal
life, the more you love him.
You dont really know how a person is on the inside. If you want to buy something on Amazon,
then you look at the reviews. A good indication of the beauty of a person is how he treats
other people. There is a direct correlation between the two. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) was told about a woman who fasted much, prayed much, and gave charity much but
abused her neighbors. The abah asked about her status, and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) said, La khayra fiha. There is no good inside of her. She is in Hellfire. There was no
beauty inside of her.
Was Ibls expelled from Jannah because of any shortage of good deeds? No. Ibls worshipped
Allh frequently. Ibn Qudmah said the reason Allh answered the du of Ibls to grant him
respite until the Day of Judgment because of all of the years of worship he did before he made
that du. He had much worship, prayer, and fasting but was still expelled from Paradise. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, A person is about to walk amongst you from the
people of Paradise. Abdullh b. Umar saw the man and asked if he could stay with him for a
few days to observe him. He expected the man to be praying and fasting all day, but he was
average. Abdullh b. Umar became frustrated and then asked the man what he does
differently. He said, Before I sleep, I forgive everybody who has harmed me. Compare that
man who had very little good deeds but a clean heart to Ibls who had many good deeds but
was dirty on the inside and hence expelled from Jannah. This man was elevated to Paradise
and Ibls was expelled.
Your character and khuluq indicate what level you are at.
Imm Ibn Qudmah says, Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, I am creating this human being
from clay. I created him and breathed in him from My Spirit. Make prostration towards him.
An academic said this means that we all have Allh inside of us, but this is not what it means.
This is Allh (subnahu wa tala) venerating and honoring the soul. Ibn Qudmah said, Allh
did not command the angels to prostrate towards dam until the soul was there. This is the
same thing when we say the Kabah is baytullh. It is Allhs way of venerating the Kabah.
Allh is venerating the soul. Truly beauty is on the inside. Inner beauty is true beauty. The
khalq (exterior) is worthless.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, I was only sent to perfect good character. Imm
al-Ghazli said what made the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) so perfect in character was
the fact that everybody wanted to be with him and everyone wanted to be loved by him.
Everyone wanted his love and desired his company. For example, one time Amr b. al-
thought he was the most beloved person to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and wanted

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to show it off to the abah. He said to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), Ya Raslullh,
who is the most beloved person to you? He said, ishah. [Note: back then, it was
shameful to say the name of your wife in public] Amr b. al- said, No, from among the
men? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Abuha (her father). Amr b. al- said, Then
who? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Umar. Amr said, I just stopped asking him
because I never thought he would get to my name.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) treated people so well and people vied for his love.
They loved his company, and he had a way of making everyone around him special. Fimah
recognized that Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) loved Ali so much, and Ali recognized
that Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) loved Fimah so much. When she walked into a
room, he (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would get up and give her his seat. One time they asked
him which one of them he loved more. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said to Ali, I
love Fimah more than you. Then he looked to Fimah and said, Ali has more clout with
me than you. He raised both of them so they both felt good.
One time he (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) went to the marketplace and saw Zhir, a companion
who had low self-esteem. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) grabbed him from the back
and started to scream from the marketplace, Who will buy this slave? Who will buy this
slave? The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was laughing. Zhir said, No one would want
to buy me anyway. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) put his hand on him and said, In
the sight of Allh (subnahu wa tala), you are priceless. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
elevated him.
-
Why it matters so much
- What is the proper measure of it?

There are two measures of khuluq:
1. How you make the people around you feel.
2. The best measure of good character is how you handle people with bad character.
Every time Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) talks about good character, he talks
about forbearance. If you can tolerate bad character, then it is a sign of good character.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Verily, knowledge is through seeking it, and
forbearance is through learning it. To get knowledge, you go and study. People think you
cant teach yourself to be forbearing and tolerating people. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, Whoever seeks good will be given good (will achieve it), and whoever seeks to
avoid evil will be protected from it. When you seek a good trait, Allh (subnahu wa tala)
makes it attainable. When you try to avoid a bad flaw and something destructive, Allh
(subnahu wa tala) protects you from it.
With good character, intention still counts. If you are pretending to have good character so
that people think a certain way of you, you will not be rewarded for it. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, A person who tries to show something that is not truly of him is like the
one who is wearing two garments of falsehood. For example, if you are getting in an
argument and say, May Allh forgive you, brother because you want people to think you are

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humble and your intention is that people will say good things about you, then it doesnt count.
If you are trying to practice a good quality, then that is a different story. You cannot learn
forbearance when something major happens, but you have to practice it through minor things.
Practicing good character is rewardable. Once you achieve a pattern and reach a maqm
(station) of being forbearing, patient, or humble, then you are rewarded for every time you
practice that good character even without the intention because you had practiced it with the
intention of doing it for Allh (subnahu wa tala).
The Tongue
Umar b. al-Khab came upon Abu Bakr al-iddq pulling his tongue. Umar said to him, Stop,
may Allh forgive you! Abu Bakr replied, This tongue has brought me to dangerous places.
Mudh asked the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), Will we even be punished for the
things that we say? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), Nothing causes a person to fall on his
face in Hellfire more than the harvest of the tongue. For example: you pass a comment and
nobody thinks it is that bad. Your tongue is storing all of that and will come on the Day of
Judgment and testify against the person. We have to watch the tongue.
The first thing you need to understand is that Allh (subnahu wa tala) has created gates for
your tongue for a reason. Al-asan al-Bari said, Allh has created two gates for the tongue:
your teeth and lips. Learn to use your gates properly. Practice silence. Be quiet. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whoever believes in Allh and the Last Day, let him say good
things or be quiet.
What would Abu Bakr (rayAllhu anhu) say if he saw Twitter, Facebook, text messaging, emails? All of this is your tongue. You have to deal with a lot of tongues. How many texts and
statuses do you let fly without even paying attention to them? Sometimes you will look at emails years later and wonder how you could have written them. It is all saved and stored. If
you want to know how baffling Yawml-Qiymah will be, go and look at the e-mails you sent 10
years ago. All of that comes back out on the Day of Judgment. Learn to be quiet and not say
anything. Learn to not type and not update your Facebook status. Learn to be quiet. Silence.
It is golden.
Ibn Abbs said, There is no word the son of dam utters without being written, even the
humming that he makes out of pain. When Imm Amad was sick, he held himself from
moaning because he was told that it is the complaining of the tongue.
Abul-Dard said, Allh gave you two ears and only one tongue, so use them with their due
proportion. The more you talk, the more you need to listen. If you are talking the most in a
gathering, then know something is wrong because every time you speak you are taking a risk
that some form of backbiting or gossip will come out. If you are watching your tongue, then
you will find that you are naturally more silent.

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Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, Those who stop idle talk The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) would never speak before the other person finished. Think before you speak and
calculate every time you use your tongue.
Al-asan al-Bari said, The intelligent persons tongue is behind his heart. When he wants to
speak, he first thinks if these words will be in his favor or against him. The ignorant persons
tongue is in front of his heart. When he thinks of saying something, he will say it and then
wonder afterwards if it was for or against him.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The most beloved of you and closest to me on the
Day of Judgment are those with the best character. The most hated people to me on the Day of
Judgment are those who have to say something about everything. These types of people have
to talk about everything, regardless of if it is significant or insignificant. The technical
definition is someone who rhymes to impress people. For example, people who use big words
to impress people. and those who speak condescendingly. This person keeps on talking.
Backbiting / al-Ghbah
Allh (subnahu wa tala) says it starts from suspicion and with a person who does not know
how to mind his own business. It causes you to start spying and figure out whether or not it is
true. You want to know details.
O you, who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.
And do not spy or backbite each other. Would one of you like to eat the flesh of his brother
when dead? You would detest it. And fear Allh; indeed, Allh is Accepting of repentance and
Merciful. (al-ujurt: 12)
Once Zaynab (rayAllhu anha) came to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and said there
were some women who were vomiting / having stomach issues. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, Tell them to fear Allh (subnahu wa tala). When Zaynab went back and told them
this, they started to vomit human meat.
We have to consider the expression to be worse than the actual crime. You are trying to
emphasize the gravity of the crime. However, when it comes to backbiting, it is worse. Allh
(subnahu wa tala) says, Would any one of you like to eat the dead flesh of his brother?
The linguistic meaning of ghbah is ghayb, which means absent.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) asked the companions, Do you know what backbiting
is? They said, Allh and His Messenger know best. Backbiting implies talking about your

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brother in a manner he does not like. If what you said about him is true, then it is ghbah, and
if what you said is not true, then it is nammah (slander). Ghbah is when you backbite and say
something true about a person that they would not like to be said.
Why did Allh give us this example of eating the dead meat of your brother? The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) saw two people fighting and showed them a dead donkey and said,
Eat it because it would be better than what you are doing now. Why the word maytah
(dead)? Those being talked about are not there to defend themselves. Imm al-Qushayri said,
When you eat dead meat, you are not hurting that person. You are only hurting yourself.
You are only disgusting yourself. He is dead and not going to feel it. In essence, ghbah is going
to hurt you. It is worse than physically hurting someone. Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said,
Backbiting is worse than physically hurting someone or taking someones wealth because he
uses the physical body and wealth to establish his reputation. You are hurting his reputation
and taking it away.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, Wa la talmizu anfusakum (to do it with a sign/signal).
Ghbah is not just by speaking but also by a gesture. If you make a face that indicates
something about a person that they wont like, then it is not going to do you any good and will
be just as bad as if you had said it. It depends on how much the person hates it and how much
it hurts the persons reputation.
ishah was describing Safiyyah and made a sign with her hand indicating her height, and
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said to her, You have said a word that if you were to spit
into the sea, it would pollute the entire sea.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, Dont kill yourselves Al-Qatdah says this means dont kill
other people because in reality you are destroying yourself. When you backbite someone else,
then in reality you are destroying yourself because on the Day of Judgment, this will be a
source of humiliation for you.
In Abu Dwd: Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said that on the night of isr wal-mirj he
passed by some people who had copper nails and were peeling off the skin from their faces.
Their faces would be restored and they would continue peeling it. He asked Jibrl who they
were, and he said they were the people who eat the flesh of human beings and disgrace them.
The greatest form of riba is to take away the honor of your brother.
Excuses people use for ghbah are everyone knows it or I would say it to his face. This
doesnt mean it is permissible. If you are willing to say it to him, then you have two sins
because you are willing to mock him in person and behind his back.
Four causes of ghbah

1. Anger
Your ghbah is not justified just because you are upset with somebody. It doesnt justify
you to speak ill of someone.

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2. Compliance
This is when you are in a gathering and people are speaking about others. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Let not one of you belittle himself. The abah said,
How can it be that one of us belittles himself? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Someone sees the boundaries of Allh being crossed and doesnt say anything about it.
Allh raises him on the Day of Judgment and asks him why he doesnt say anything, and
he will say, I was afraid of the people. Allh will say, Allh is more deserving of you
fearing Him. (Ibn Mjah)
There are several categories:
- You are a silent devil.
- You instigate the backbiting. Ibn al-Qayyim said you will be punished two times on
the Day of Judgment for this: for instigating it and causing others to fall into the
sin. What about the adth of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that whoever
amongst you sees something evil, then let him change it with his hand, and if he
isnt able to, then with his tongue, and if he isnt able to, then with his heart?
What does this mean in terms of backbiting? It means to get up and leave. Dont
continue to sit there while they are backbiting. By the way, we usually do have the
power to change the situation and you can say, I dont think we should do this. I
think we should fear Allh (subnahu wa tala). You can change your
environment and show people you are uncomfortable. If they are uncomfortable
because you are uncomfortable, then you dont need them.
3. Arrogance
When you think you are better than them and are mocking.
4. Joking
This counts against you just as severely as any form of backbiting.
You cannot make these excuses for yourself. Ibn Qudmah said, The Muslim is the brother of
the Muslim. He does not wrong him, and he does not forfeit him. He does not betray him, and
he does not belittle him. You have betrayed the rights of your brother if you allow people to
speak about his/her honor and dont do anything about it. Imagine eating that persons meat
after they are dead. Imagine on the Day of Judgment having to scratch off your own face.
Backbiting is one of the most normal things in the world now. It is so accepted, but on the Day
of Judgment, it is a cause of humiliation.
Note: be especially careful of not backbiting a righteous person. This is another level. The
scholars said, The flesh of the righteous is poison. It is worse because Allh (subnahu wa
tala) says in a adth qudsi: Whoever takes a close friend of Mine as an enemy, then I have
waged war against him. It is worse if you speak ill of a righteous person. You dont know if a
person is righteous or not. You may be escalating to another level without realizing it.

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Al-asan al-Bari (and Sufyn al-Thawri) was told that there was a group of people who always
backbite him. He sent a bowl of dates (Sufyn al-Thawri sent a bowl of fruit) and wrote, I
wanted to thank you for giving me your good deeds, so I am sending this bowl to you. Please
forgive me for it not being enough to thank you for what you did to me.
Someone went up to Bakr b. Muammad and said, I heard you were backbiting me. He said,
I must really love you because I am giving you my good deeds. Dont start backbiting the
person because they were backbiting you.
Another important point: What do you do if you are guilty of backbiting? Ibn Sirn said, I will
never make lawful what Allh has made unlawful.
- Seek forgiveness from Allh
- Seek forgiveness from the one you hurt.
The problem: if you tell the person, it will make things worse. Say good things about
the person you backbite in the company of the same people you said bad things about
them. If he is a person you can go to and say you were backbiting, then do so. If it will
be counterproductive, then you need to restore the persons reputation.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Prophet Muammad (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, Do you know what is backbiting? They (the companions) said, Allh and His
Messenger know best. Thereupon he (the Prophet) said: Backbiting implies your talking
about your brother in a manner which he does not like. It was said to him: What if what I say
about my brother is true? He said, If what you said about him is true then you would have
backbitten him, and if it is not true, then he is slandered (buhtn). (Muslim, Abu Dwd,
Amad, & al-Tirmidhi)
When backbiting is permissible

1. Complaining about oppression or injustice to someone who can help
If you need to complain to the imm or a friend who can help, then it is fine to backbite.
What about talking about a ruler? The rulers are doing their actions in public and are
open transgressors. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Do not forbid people
for speaking ill of the fjir (person who disobeys Allh).
2. Seeking the help of someone to correct something wrong
You mention what is necessary and dont go into the details and then help the person.
3. Asking for a fatwa
This is a very limited circumstance, but sometimes it is necessary.
4. Warning a person at risk of harm
If you know someone who is about to get married to someone and something about
that person (not about their past but things they are presently guilty of), then you have
to say it. You can warn someone who is going into a business contract with someone
else.

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5. When someone has a title that has a bad meaning but the person is known by it
Al-Amash means the one who is blind. This was a name he called himself. This is
very rare. Make sure if a person has a nickname with a bad meaning that he is seriously
okay with it being used.
6. Speaking about a proud sinner
This refers to someone who loves to disobey Allh and is proud of it. Irshad Manji is
doing a book tour in Malaysia, and no one warned the people about her, and now the
authorities are trying to stop her. You need to speak about people like this and the evil
that they do as a way of protecting society against them and the things they say.
These are all exceptions. If you keep dancing around the exceptions, you will fall into the
arm. Someone can justify a backbiting session by one of these. Restrict it to what is
absolutely necessary. If someone is sinning, try to stop him by talking to him privately and not
exposing him publicly. Exhaust all means possible to not harm the person in society.
Slander / al-Nammah (Tale-Carrying)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, A person guilty of nammah will not enter
Jannah. There are two categories of nammah: saying something about someone that is untrue
or coming to someone and saying so and so said this about you (starting enmity between
people). The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, He who starts enmity between people
by quoting their words to each other will not enter Paradise (even if they are true words).
Islam allows you to lie to say good things about someone.
Whenever you spread news about people and stir up enmity, you are Shayns mailman.
Ali b. Abi lib said, The person who spreads nammah (the nammm) will cause the fitnah in
an hour the fitnah of months.
Someone said to Amr b. Ubayd, Al-aswari says bad about you. He replied, You did not
fulfill the trust of the man when he let you sit with him since you told us what he would say,
and you didnt fulfill my rights upon you when you told me something I disliked to hear.
Imm al-asan al-Bari said, Whoever says to you someone said this about you, then know
that he goes to another person and says you said this about him. A person with this trait is
used to it.
It is also to say something that is not true. Imm Mlik earned a title: No one should give
fatwa while Imm Mlik is alive in Madnah. Why was he giving this title? Once a woman was
giving the ghusl of a dead woman, and she said, Wallhi, these private parts were dirty and
involved with many men. Her hand became stuck to the body. People were going around
asking imams what to do. Imm Mlik said, Lash her with the punishment of slandering a
chaste woman. When she was lashed, her hand came loose from the body. Then the people
started to say, No one should give fatwa while Imm Mlik is alive in Madnah.

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The greatest form of slander is the slander against ishah (rayAllhu anha). The strong
condemnations came from Allh. She was left behind by accident while the Muslims were
traveling. Safwn found her and said, Inna lillhi wa inna ilayhi rjin and ishah covered
herself. While they were coming into Madnah, Abdullh b. Ubayy al-Sall said, Oh, wallhi,
she was not safe from him and he was not safe from her. It spread like wildfire. Allh in Srah
Nr v. 10-20 condemned more the people who heard it and didnt stop. It started spreading
until it reached the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). ishah (rayAllhu anha) did not
have evil intentions. She knew something was wrong and different with the way people were
treating her. One day she was with the mother of Misah, one of the people who spread the
slander, and the mother cursed Misah. ishah (rayAllhu anha) started defending him
saying he is a veteran of Badr. ishahs father used to give Misah charity every day. It
started off with just one person and it caused strife and hardship in the house of the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam).
Nammah is indicating something. If you indicate something, you are just guilty as saying it
and if you pass on something you heard, you are just as guilty as the one who formulated the
rumor.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Do you know who the worst of you is? They
said, Allh and His Messenger know best. He said, The worst of you is the one who is twofaced. The one who comes to one group with one face and another group with another face.
O you who have believed, if there comes to you a disobedient one with information,
investigate, lest you harm a people out of ignorance and become, over what you have done,
regretful. (al-ujurt: 6)
Six things to do if someone comes to you saying: He said this about you!
1. Dont believe him.
Dont entertain what they said and think of it as a lie. Advise him to stop.
2. Show anger with him.
3. Dont think ill of the accused.
4. Dont start spying to find out if what was said was true.
5. Dont pass the slander.
A tale-carrier will never enter Paradise. (al-Bukhri & Muslim)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Shall I tell you about the most evil ones from
amongst you? They said, Of course. He said, Those who go around with nammah. They
make enmity between friends and they seek problems for the innocent. (Amad and alBukhri, in al-Adab al-Mufrad)

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A man told Wahb b. Munabbih that such-and-such a man had insulted him. Wahb said to him,
And you are the only postman that Shayn has found (to tell me about it)!
Lying / al-Kadhib
Narrated Abdullh (rayAllhu anhu) that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on
telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to al-fajr (i.e. wickedness,
evil-doing), and al-fajr leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is
written before Allh, a liar. (al-Bukhri)
af ibn im (rayAllhu anhu) narrates that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, It
is sufficient lying for a man to speak of everything he hears. (Muslim)
There is a weak adth that a believer can be a coward or miser but cannot be a liar. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) included lying among the signs of hypocrisy. Raslullh
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The signs of a hypocrite are four: when he speaks he lies
What is the difference between a kadhib and kadhb?
kadhb tells lies all the time.
A kadhib tells lies sometimes and a
Lying is generally forbidden and leads to wickedness.
Importance of striving for the high station of al-iddqn (the consistently

truthful).
Lying stops someone from attaining this station. To be diq in terms of words means that
there is no difference between what you are saying and fact. There is consistency between
reality and what you are saying. idq in terms of speaking: a scholar said this is when Allh
says al-iddqn, He is referring to the person who always tells the truth and never lies.
Conditions under which lying is acceptable
Dont keep looking for the exceptions because eventually you will fall into the prohibited.
Asm b. Yazd narrates from the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that there are three
forms of permissible lying: in battle, to your spouse, and to reconcile between two parties.
A man told his wife, You are divorced if you are not more beautiful than the moon. He then
went to Imm Mlik and asked if he was divorced, and Imm Mlik said, Yes. Imm al-Shfii
was present at the time and didnt want to disrespect Imm Mlik by contradicting him, so he
followed the man home and said, You are not divorced because your wife is more beautiful
than the moon because Allh says, We have created man with the best creation. Imm Mlik
later heard about this and laughed and praised Imm al-Shfii.

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Ambiguity: Types and conditions under which it can be used
When al-Njashi became Muslim, he didnt want his people to know because they would kill
him. People started saying that al-Njashi accepted Islam. He tried to figure out a way he
could say he is Muslim but at the same time not be killed by his people. He wrote la ilha illa
Allh Muammadan Raslullh and put it in his shirt pocket. The guards came and said, We
have heard that you became Muslim. He said, What do you believe? They said, We believe
Jesus is the son of God and we believe in the trinity. Al-Njashi said, I believe no more than
this (while he tapped his shirt pocket).
The righteous would find ways to get out of things so that they would not lie. One time Imm
al-Shabi was studying a question of jurisprudence, and he wanted to be left alone. He told his
daughter, If anyone comes and asks for me, say he is not here (he drew a circle on the door
and told her to point at it when saying this).
Al-Mughrah b. Shubah wanted to marry a woman from a tribe, and his friend said, I saw her
kiss a man one time. Two weeks later, he saw the man was married to her. He asked the man
what happened, and the man said, She kissed her dad.
Sad b. Jubayr (rayAllhu anhu) was being pursued by al-ajjj. He stopped in a place and
then moved to the side and when they came, they did not know how he looked so they asked
him if he had seen Sad b. Jubayr, and he said, He was just right here (and pointed to where
he was standing).
Even at a time when it was technically speaking permissible to lie, they hated to lie. Sad
could have lied because his lie was under threat. They hated to lie so much that they would
find creative ways to stay away from it.
Mockery
Evidence of the prohibition of mockery in Sratl-ujurt:
O you, who have believed, let not a people ridicule [another] people; perhaps they may be
better than them; nor let women ridicule [other] women; perhaps they may be better than
them. And do not insult one another and do not call each other by [offensive] nicknames.
Wretched is the name of disobedience after [ones] faith. And whoever does not repent - then
it is those who are the wrongdoers. (al-ujurt: 11)

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Mockery based on the first sin of pride and arrogance
Allh tells us that mockery comes from a bigger sin of kibr. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, It is enough of evil to carry on the Day of Judgment when he belittles his
brother.
Why are women specified in this yah of Sratl-ujurt? Women have a tendency to belittle
one another and put each other down. Allh (subnahu wa tala) addresses social realities. In
our times, there is no difference in a mens gathering and a womens gathering there is just
as much backbiting and slander and mockery. The Arabs had some sense of dignity and honor
before Islam, so they would avoid mocking people.
The root cause of belittling someone else is that you are carrying kibr, which can stop you from
getting into Jannah. Kibr is a form of shirk. You are setting yourself up as a god besides Allh
(subnahu wa tala) when you mock people.
Non-verbal mockery
Mockery can be verbal or through gesture. Allh says, A good word is better than a charity
followed by harmful words. Never find yourself belittling or speaking ill of someone else. If
your backbiting includes mockery, then it is a double sin. Think about if you ever belittle or
mock people.
Two-Faced Speech
Al-Muntair ibn Bill al-Anri said:

..
..
How many a friend displays affection with his tongue,
But is deceitful in my absence and is not regretful.
He unwillingly amuses me so I may love him,
But his words in my absence strike me like arrows.
Two-facedness is encouraged by a rigid culture. If your family is extremely cultured and rigid,
then the kids know they have to be a certain way at home. The parents encourage twofacedness in their families by doing this. Being able to carry one personality in one place and
another personality in another place is psychologically harmful.
You dont have to change your name in public. People know your name is not John. If you
notice that the way that you talk changes or your demeanor changes, then you have a serious
personality disorder. It is very important to watch yourself.
Ask yourself: Are you a person who has a consistent personality wherever you are?

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Revealing Secrets
Signs of a hypocrite: when he speaks he lies, when he makes a promise, he breaks it, and when
he is given a secret, he betrays that trust.
Narrated from Jbir ibn Abdullh that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If a man
tells you something and then looks away, it is a trust. (al-Tirmidhi) This is even if they didnt
tell you specifically that it was a secret. If it is obvious by indication that they dont want
anyone else to know, then it is a trust.
Allh said, Stick to your contract / stick to what you say.
adth of Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If a person is spying
and the person catches him spying and throws something in his eye and hurts him, then there
is no hadd for that.
Which secrets do we disclose the most? Between husband and wife. This is the most serious
form of exposing a secret. These are secrets that should remain between husband and wife.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) said, They are a cover (garment) for you, and you are a garment for
them. You are supposed to beautify them, but when you tell their secrets to others, then
what kind of person are you? The Propeht (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The worst person
is the one who is intimate with his wife and reveals her secrets.
It is not limited to this. It is revealing secrets that a person doesnt want broken. If you do
this, then you are a hypocrite. You break the persons trust. Once more than two people know
it, then it is over. You have to keep peoples secrets close.
Umar b. al-Khab (rayAllhu anhu) said, I met Uthmn b. Affn (rayAllhu anhu) and
offered afah to him in marriage. I said, If you wish, I will marry afah bint Umar to you.
He said, I will think about it. Several nights were passed, and then he said, I think that I do
not want to get married at this time. Then I met Abu Bakr and I said, If you wish, I will marry
afah bint Umar to you. Abu Bakr kept quiet and did not give me any response. I became
more upset about him than about Uthmn. Several nights went passed, then the Messenger of
Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) proposed to her and I married her to him. Then Abu Bakr met
me and said, Perhaps you felt upset when you offered afah in marriage to me and I did not
reply? I said, Yes. He said, Nothing prevented me from responding to your offer but the fact
that I knew that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) had mentioned her, and I
did not want to disclose the secret of the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). If he
had decided not to marry her, I would have accepted your offer. (al-Bukhri)
Breaking Promises
If you continually break your promises to people (even small), then you are a hypocrite. When
you make a promise, you have to fulfill it.
Umar b. Al-Khab had a relationship with the emperor of Persia. When the emperor came to

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Madnah, he asked for Umar, and they found him asleep under the tree near the masjid. He
was shocked that he had no bodyguards. He admired him and started crying and said, You
rule, and you rule with justice, so you became safe. Allh gave you safety and you were able to
sleep. The emperor of Persia was leading the opposing army, and when it came time for his
execution after he was captured, he said, Ya amrl-muminn, can I have a glass of water? He
was given a glass of water. He said, Am I protected until I finish drinking this water? Umar
said, You are protected. The emperor threw the glass on the ground and broke it. Umar b.
Al-Khab started consulting the abah to figure out what to do. Khurmuzan was laughing
and then took shahdah. Umar b. Al-Khab said, Why didnt you save us the trouble and
take shahdah first? He said, I didnt want people to think that I was becoming Muslim
because I was afraid. I wanted them to know I was sincere. He knew Umar b. Al-Khab
wouldnt break his promise.
Abdullh b. Umar on the day of his death married off his daughter while he was dying because
he promised a young man that he would marry his daughter to him and his daughter accepted
it. They took promises very seriously.
Dont make empty promises if you are not capable of fulfilling it. Avoid saying things that are
absolutely committal.
Abdullh b. Mubarak borrowed a pen in al-Shm and forgot to return it to the person he took
it from. He went to his city in Persia and then realized he still had the pen. He went all the
way back to al-Shm to return the pen. He felt the amnah when he told the person he would
give it back and didnt give it back.
And fulfill [every] commitment. Indeed, the commitment is ever [that about which one will be]
questioned. (al-Isr: 34)
And those who are to their trusts and promises attentive (al-Marij: 32)
The signs of the hypocrite are three: when he speaks he lies, when he promises he breaks his
promise and when he is entrusted he betrays the trust. (al-Bukhri and Muslim)
Impermissible Joking
Ali b. Abi lib said, Make joking part of your conversation the way that you would put salt in
your food. Too much will give you a heart attack, and not enough will make you bland. At
the same time, dont overdo it.

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The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was always smiling and laughing. Not only was he
always smiling and laughing, but he made everyone around him smile and laugh. He made
them laugh because of his personality. There are entire volumes of books on the jokes of the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Even when
I joke, I only speak the truth. There are numerous examples of this. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) made sure to be careful not to lie when he would joke.
Anas (rayAllhu anhu) said, He would joke but would only say the truth.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) said that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was told, O
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), you are joking with us. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, I only say what is true. (al-Tirmidhi)
Woe be on one who speaks and lies in order to make people laugh, woe be on him. (Abu
Dwd)
What do you need to avoid?
- Lying
- Mockery. Dont make a joke at the expense of anothers honor or dignity.
- Avoid frightening people. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, It is not
befitting for a person to frighten his brother.
- Dont take the property of someone else either jokingly or in seriousness.
It is only kadhib if the person in front of you thinks that you are telling the truth. It is only a lie
if the person in front of you is taking you seriously. For example, if someone asks you where
you were and you say you were just on the moon, they know that you are not serious. Be very
careful because some people may still take you seriously.
Example: Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was sitting with Ali b. Abi lib. Ali
(rayAllhu anhu) was very poor and would work all day to earn so that he could eat that day.
One day he earned 12 dates. He went to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and said, Ya
Raslullh, I want to share this food with you. He gave six and kept six for himself. When Ali
noticed that people were coming, he pushed all the seeds in front of the Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam). The abah knew they could joke with him and understood he appreciated
jokes as long as they were not overboard. When the abah came, Ali (rayAllhu anhu) said,
Look at the Prophet of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), he ate all of the dates by himself.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Look at Ali b. Abi lib. When he eats the dates, he
swallows the seeds too. It was understood that this was a joke.
Disciplining Ourselves
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If three people are in a room, two people should
not have a private conversation in the presence of the third. This includes speaking in a
different language that the third person doesnt understand. This includes on a basketball
court! You cant have a secret language the opponent doesnt understand. It allows Shayn to
play with the other person.

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Pride / al-Kibr
There are different manifestations of arrogance and pride. The most serious one is kibr.
The seriousness of kibr as a sin:
Indeed, He (Allh) does not like the arrogant. (al-Nal: 23)

Kibr is made of two different things.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The one who possesses an iota of kibr in his
heart shall not be granted admission to Jannah. He was (then asked), [But] O Messenger of
Allh! A man likes to have fine clothing and footwear. Is this included in kibr? He
responded, No. Allh is Beautiful and loves beauty. Kibr is the rejection of truth and
condescension of others. (Muslim)
There is kibr with the revelation and kibr with the people. Kibr is the form of pride that
constitutes kufr (pure disbelief). It is from al-shirkl-akbar. These two things are solely
belonging to Allh (subnahu wa tala). First and foremost, only Allh has the right to
legislate. There is a difference between rejection of not practicing and rejection of denial. To
disbelieve in an yah that is clear takes a person out of the fold of Islam.
We are so weak as human beings that you can get on a rollercoaster and when a cardboard
character jumps at you, you scream. This same person thinks he understands reality enough
to debate with Allh and accuse the Qurn or Sunnah of being illogical. Knowledge prevents
you from a lot of this stuff. Kibr (rejection of the truth) is one of those things that usually
comes from nothing from ignorance. When a person decides anything from the Qurn and
Sunnah is illogical and denies it, then it is a form of pride.
If you are uncomfortable with something and know you need to conform to it and draw to it,
then it is not disbelief. It is weakness of faith, and you are trying to understand your faith.
Sometimes two logical answers can be different. Two people can give a logical answer to the
same question and it will still be different.
The second form of pride is belittling people and thinking that you are better than people. Kibr
is an action of the heart. Abu Hurayrah narrates a adth that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, There were two men from among Bani Isrl striving for the same goal. One of
them would commit sin and the other would strive to do his best in the world. The man who
exerted himself in worship continued to see the other in sin. He would say, Refrain from it.
One day, he found him in sin and said to him, Refrain from it. The sinner said, Leave me
alone with my Lord. Have you been sent as a watchman over me? The worshipper said, I

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swear by Allah, Allah will not forgive you, nor will He admit you to Paradise. Then their souls
were taken back (by Allah), and they met together with the Lord of the worlds. Allah said to
this man who had striven hard in worship, Had you knowledge about Me or had you power
over that which I had in My Hand? Allah said to the man who sinned, Go and enter Paradise
by My Mercy. He said about the other, Take him to Hell. Abu Hurayrah said, By Him in
Whose hand my soul is, he wpoke a word by which this world and the next world of his were
destroyed.
No matter how bad someone is, dont ever allow yourself to say that the person is going to
Hellfire. That person may die in a situation pleasing to Allh, and Allh may punish you just
because of that state.
Judging others and thinking you are better than others is kibr. Only Allh has the right to
Judge.
Manifestations of Pride
1. Thinking youre better than people but trying to act humble

Sometimes people are arrogant but a humble personality. You are not fooling Allh
(subnahu wa tala). When a person has the disease of thinking he is better than people
but around people acts humble, he has kibr. It is only a matter of time before he is exposed.
2. Degrading others with your actions
It is obvious you think you are better than someone but you are not saying it.
3. Constantly bragging about your superiority or accomplishments
The form of pride Ibls had was religious pride. He thought he was better than dam
(alayhil-salm) because of all the worship he had done. If you think that because you
worship that you are better than someone else, then it is an issue of pride.
Qualities of a Person of Pride
1. Likes people to stand up for him

If a person walks into a room and you are sitting down, can you stand up to honor the
person? Yes, you can. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) told the abah to stand when
Mudh walked in to honor their leader. The problem is when a person walks in and wants
people to stand for him. If people seek to honor you, it is okay as long as you are not
desiring it and not looking for it.
2. Wants others to walk behind him
3. Doesnt visit people because he feels he is only deserving of being visited
You expect people to always visit you because you are special. Make sure that you visit
people and dont always expect them to visit you.
4. Doesnt like others to be on his level

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This happened more in the past. This is not as much of an issue anymore.
5. Expects others to carry his things
6. Does not engage in chores
Remedy for Pride and Arrogance
One of the ways to rid yourself of pride is to acquaint yourself with people who are below you
(this doesnt mean in status it means in situations). Sometimes you may wonder what this
means. When the children of abashah came, Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would
embarrass himself by speaking broken Abyssinian just to play with the kids. This shows that
he didnt feel so big. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was with the people and at the level of the
people.
One of the beauties of working with the youth is that you find those involved with drugs and
other things have really good qualities but are just messed up in that. If you truly sit with
them, you see the beauty in them.
In the book on the virtues of Imm Mlik, it is written: Imm Mlik once saw a man who was
filthy drunk and foaming at the mouth and saying, Allh. No one saw the man drink even
though everyone knew he was drunk, so he couldnt be punished, which shows the justice of
Sharah. Imm Mlik wiped the mans mouth with a handkerchief and picked him up and held
him and walked him home. Look at the care and kindness. That night, Imm Mlik saw a
dream that it was being told to him: We have purified you as you have purified your brother.
The next day, he went to the masjid for fajr and didnt understand what he saw. He saw the
man dressed in the best garment with nr in his face praying altl-fajr. It was the first time he
saw him in the masjid, and he asked, What happened? How did your situation change so
fast? The man said to him, The one who came to you in your dream came to me in mine.
Imm Mlik came down to the level of that person and helped him and gave him dignity, so
Allh purified and elevated Imm Mlik as a result of that.
Generally speaking, someone who is acquainted with the poor and people in hardship has a
lesser chance of becoming prideful and thinking he is better than people. Authentic adth in
Amad: A man complained to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that his heart is
becoming hard. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Caress the head of an orphan.
Imm Mlik felt the honor of the religion should be preserved.
Engage in chores. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would take care of his own clothes
and shoes. In a gathering, the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was always serving and
never being served. Look for ways to serve to keep your ego and pride down and to belittle
and lower yourself.
The hardest part of ajj is using the bathrooms in Muzdalifah and Arafh. A convert told
Shaykh Omar that the most spiritual part of ajj was going to the bathroom because it made

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him realize how little we are. We think were all that and have to reduce yourself in this way.
It is good to make yourself feel small. At the end of the day, you are just a human being. Find
ways to belittle yourself and put yourself down. Always be the one serving others in any
gathering. Dont let people carry things for you. Always humble yourself.
1. Know yourself
2. Know your Lord
3. Remember death
Love of Prestige/ ubbl-Jh
People of righteousness and piety avoid celebrity

The inner struggle against the love of prominence
How the quest for status can destroy ones dn.
This destroys people and society. This is the root cause of riy. It starts off first diagnosing
why you have a love of prestige inside of yourself. Allh (subnahu wa tala) has given us
many measures within the Sunnah to avoid developing that love. The first one is to keep the
share of your private acts of worship greater than your public acts of worship. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would pray his sunnahs at home and said, Do not turn your homes
into graveyards. Do things that people dont see you do. Keep a portion of your charity
secret. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, A secret charity extinguishes the anger
of your Lord.
Scholars who write about maqidl-Sharah talk about acts that need to be done to promote the
dn. The overall aspects of religion are better to be done in private and in home. Dont develop
a love for celebrity and prestige in your heart.
Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, Everybody at the end of the day wants attention and to be loved.
The difference between the believer and the person who has that quality of celebrity is that no
one would be presented with the love and praise of the creation versus the praise of the
Creator and then choose the praise of the creation over the Creator. On the Day of Judgment,
you want Allh to praise you to everyone else. The way that you treat your love for prestige is
that you develop a love for prestige in the sight of the Creator. The more you can be praised
by Allh in private, the more Allh will praise you on the Day of Judgment when it counts
most.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh (subnahu wa tala) loves of His creation the
God-fearing, the pure in heart, those who the one who is khafiyy (out of public sight), and those
who are innocent, whose face is dusty, whose hair is unkempt, whose stomach is empty, and
who, if he asks permission to enter to the rulers, is not granted it, and if he were to ask for a
woman in marriage, he would be refused, and when he leaves the world, it does not miss him,
and if he goes out, his going out is not noticed, and if he falls sick, he is not attended to, and if
he dies, he is not accompanied to his grave.

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Ibrhm b. Adham was great scholar of adth. He tried hard to keep away from the people in
fear of them mentioning him too much, but his fame shot up and his name because so
widespread to the point that it was said one time, He is in the garden (where he worked
tending to the crops), so the people entered it saying, Where is Ibrhm b. Adham? So he
began to ask among them, Where is Ibrhm b. Adham? He didnt want to be in that
situation.
Ibn Masd said, O people, be the springs of knowledge and the lamps of guidance! Stick to
your homes and be a light in the night, revivers of hearts, wearing worn-out clothes. You will
then be known as amongst the people of the heavens and hidden against the people of the
earth.
What about the issue of leadership and being recognized? One of the things that is important
to understand is that if leadership seeks you, then accept it. If you seek leadership, then you
have a problem. In Islam, you dont give leadership to those who seek it. This is what
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said. If you want leadership that badly, then it will
destroy you.
Umar b. Sad b. Abi Waqq came to Sad b. Abi Waqq during the time of Ali when the fitnah
started. Sad b. Abi Waqq fled away from people and was raising sheep on the outskirts of
Madnah. Umar b. Sad wanted to be a governor, so he went to his father. When Sad b. Abi
Waqq saw his son, he said, I seek refuge in Allh from the evil of the one coming to me
now. Umar b. Sad said, You were in Badr and should be taking on leadership. Sad said to
his son, Allh loves the slave who is fearful of Him and self-sufficient and is hidden. Umar b.
Sad left his dad frustrated and tried to latch onto leadership wherever he could find it.
Muwiyah gave him honorable tasks and then under Yazd b. Muwiyah, he latched onto
leadership where he could find it. He wanted to be in the spotlight. When al-usayn revolted,
he was the one given the order to stop al-usayn. He didnt want to do it, but at the same
time, he was told that if he didnt, then his leadership would be taken away. It was his army
that killed al-usayn. Think about it: his love for leadership led him to that ending.
When people pursue leadership and positions that are out there, they sell their souls in the
process. How many communities have been destroyed because of the love of leadership of a
few people? You shouldnt seek leadership. Abu Dharr came to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam). The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said if his mn was to be weighed against
everyone else, it would be heavier. When he asked the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) for
leadership, the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) didnt give it to him and said, We dont
give it to those who ask for it.
What if leadership comes to you? What is the ruling? The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said to Uthmn, One day, you are going to be put in a position that Allh wants to put you in,
and the people are going to demand you relinquish that position. Do not take off the garment
that Allh dressed / adorned you with. If you get pushed into a position of leadership without
desiring it, take it and do your best to work on your intention. Do your best not to seek it.

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Showing off / al-Riy

Abdullh b. Abbs said, Indeed Allh has slaves silenced by the fear of Allh although they
are eloquent in speech.
Abdullh b. Mubrak used to wrap himself in public and try to do things without being
noticed. One time there was a drought and someone had water. He knew that if he came out,
people would stampede to come sit with him. He wrapped himself up to get water. When he
came home, he was sweating and tired and said, This is life! He didnt want people to clear
the way for him, but he wanted to struggle just like everyone else.
Ibn Qudmah quotes a adth from Zayd b. Thbit: If we were in the company of the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and we talked about dunya, he would talk about dunya. If we talked
about khirah, he would talk about khirah too. If we talked about food, he would talk about
food too. (Bukhri) He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was at the level of the people.
Abdullh b. rith said, If you walked into a gathering, you would not be able to distinguish
him by his clothes. He did not love to have prestige.
Showing off is the manifestation of the person having a love for prestige. Riy is the only
thing a person who is not a disbeliever gets threatened for in Juz Amma. Allh warns the
people that pray and are forgetful and show off (Sratl-Mn).
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) called riy the hidden shirk. He said, I fear for you most
the hidden shirk, which is riy. You make all of the people into hidden gods. Allh (subnahu
wa tala) says in a adth qudsi: Whoever does an action seeking My approval and seeking
others approval, then I abandon him and his shirk. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
A person will be brought on the Day of Judgment, and Allh will tell him, Run to those you
used to show off your deeds to in dunya and see if they have anything to give you today. You
turn those people into gods by doing actions seeking their approval.
There are different forms of riy. Displaying humility is a form of riy. ishah (rayAllhu
anha) saw a group of men walking slowly, and she asked about them and was told they were
praying qiym all night. She said, May Allh have mercy on Umar. When he walked, he
walked fast. When he hit, he hit hard. Umar would be up all night in qiym but he would try
to hide it from people and not show it.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, To shorten a persons thawb to a point where it becomes excessive is a
form of showing off. The word fi comes from the word meaning wool. Imm al-Ghazli
spoke against the people who would show off by wearing wool. He condemned those who
wore wool unnecessarily because it was a way of displaying that a person is humble and a
zhid.
Riy is arm in showing off anything in the religion. To show off matters of dunya: if the
intention is to degrade people, then it is arm. It is makrh if it gives you a big head. It is
permitted to show others nice things that you have if you dont have the intention to belittle

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or boast. Riy can also be mustaab. How is that possible? adaqah so that you encourage
other people. In dawah so that you show a good picture of Islam and show that Islam is
beautiful. If you want to look nice in front of non-Muslims, it is befitting in that regard. Imm
Mlik thought that scholars should dress well so that they are respected in society.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) taught us a du to make: O Allh, I seek refuge in you
from committing shirk knowingly, and I ask your forgiveness for doing it unknowingly.
What if you do things and are praised for it but you are not seeking praise? Mudh
complained to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that people were saying too many nice
things about him. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, A person who does something
for Allh and is praised by the people, then that is the hastening of Allh giving glad tidings to
the believer. When other people praise you without you seeking their praise, it is a good
thing. Why? Because the witness of the people will count on the Day of Judgment as long as
you are not seeking it.
Does riy make my worship completely worthless? Imm Ibn Qudmah said, If a person starts
off his act of worship purely seeking the praise of people, then it is worthless and hypocrisy. If
he is fighting with riy, he should continue forward with the action. Umar b. Abdul-Azz
was asked, If I am prostrating in public and Shayn comes to me and tells me I am
lengthening my sujd so that people praise me, what do it do? He said, Fight your Shayn
and lengthen your sujd even more. Seek refuge in Allh from doing it for other peoples
sake. If you feel the love of praise afterwards, then you simply fight it. Every time someone
tells you how good you are, you tell yourself how terrible you are. Try to fight yourself and
look for the recognition of Allh (subnahu wa tala).
The Muslims were fighting the Romans and had a wall that was serving as a fort. The siege
went on for months. One night, one of the Muslim soldiers went to General Maslamah and
otld him of a hole that he had made through the wall, and he said that it is only large enough
for a slim soldier. He asked for someone to be sent who can go through the hole and open the
gates from the other side so they could enter. General Maslamah sent out the news asking for
someone, and someone volunteered and the when the gate was opened, the Muslims won the
battle. After the battle, General Maslamah called out and asked who went through the hole to
open the gate for the believers. He did this for three days, and on the fourth day, a man came
with his face wrapped up and said, I know who the person was who entered into the hole. He
asked, Tell me who it is. The man said, I will tell you on three conditions: you dont pay
him for what he did, you dont tell anyone what he did, and you dont ask him to come out
again. I was the one who did it. He made du after that, Grant me the companionship of the
soldier of the hole on the Day of Judgment.
On a more practical level, we have examples of how the scholars acted in their daily lives.
Muammad b. Wasi would wake up and pray qiym without waking his wife and then would go
to his bed and wake up his wife to pray qiym so they could pray together.
Dwd b. Abi Hend fasted for 40 years without his wife knowing. He would take the food and
give it in adaqah and then come home and eat with his family.

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There were some people from the lin who would cry at night on one side of the pillow, and
the person sleeping next to them would not find out until they found the other side of the
pillow wet.
Sad b. Jubayr was telling people, Which one of you saw the shooting star last night? People
thought that it must have meant he was up praying qiyml-layl, and he said, As for me, I was
stung by a bee which is why I was awake.
Scholars said about Ali b. usayn that people would get their livelihood in Madnah until the
day he passed away. He would leave food and water on their doorsteps without ever being
caught.
Try to find the things that you can do privately. Charity and alh. Do things that no one
knows about, not even your spouse. This can be the thing that saves you. Raslullh (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, I saw someone in Jannah who removed something harmful from the
road. It was an act of love between him and Allh where no one else can see.
Action Item:
Every week give yourself one secret action
that you will do, which no one else knows about.
Hide it from your spouse, children and parents.
The sweetness of it is more than when people praise you.

Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) reported that Abu Bakr asked, O Messenger of Allh! Teach
me some words so that I may recite them in the morning and in the evening. The Messenger
of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Recite these words:
Allhumma firas-samwti wal-ari, limal-ghaybi wash-shahdati, Rabba kulli shayin wamlkahu.
Ash-hadu an l ilha ill Anta, adhu bika min sharri nafsi, washarrish- Shayni washirkihi.
(O Allh! Creator of the heavens and the earth! Knower of the hidden and the exposed! Rabb of
everything and every one! I bear witness that none has the right to be worshipped but You. I
seek Your Protection from the evil of my own self from the evil of Satan and from the evil of
shirk to which he calls.)
The Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) added: Recite these words in the morning
and the evening and when you go to bed. (Abu Dwd and al- Tirmidhi)
Five Forms of Riy

1. Riy through physical appearance
2. Riy through physical actions
3. Riy through words

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4. Riy through deeds

5. Riy through connections
The Degrees of Riy

1. Forming the intention originally to only commit a deed for people to see
2. He seeks a reward, but is so absorbed with riy that he wouldnt do that deed alone
3. Encouraged by peoples praise but does not neglect worship
4. A person is always at the same level but loves that others see his actions
5. A person hides the act but expects people to treat him well and honor him for his
goodness
Does riy completely make my worship worthless?
Three Signs of Riy

1. To love the pleasure produced by being praised
2. To flee from the pain caused by being dispraised
3. To look greedily at what other people possess
They do not fear the blame of a critic. That is the favor of Allh ; He bestows it upon whom
He wills. And Allh is all-Encompassing and Knowing. (al-Midah: 54)
Self-Deceit / al-Ghurr

Al-Ghurr means self-deceit. Al-ujb means to be conceited.
Say, [O Muammad], Shall we [believers] inform you of the greatest losers as to [their] deeds?
[They are] those whose effort is lost in worldly life, while they think that they are doing well in
work. (al-Kahf: 103-104)
These are people who dont recognize that they have a problem. It is a person who doesnt
recognize that he is sick and falling. Imm ibn al-Qayyim said, If you were to sleep all night
and not wake up for a single rakah and feel bad about that, then it is more beloved to Allh
than praying all night and being proud of it. Al-udj is doing good and feeling good about it.
You become satisfied and content so that you dont do anything anymore.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), If you were not to sin, I would fear something greater
than sin: al-udj (to feel content, satisfied).

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Al-Fuayl b. Iy said, If Ibls conquers the son of dam with one of three [things], he says, I
will not seek anything from him (I never have to do anything with him again) 1) Being fond
of himself, 2) making him think his deeds are plentiful, and 3) forgetfulness of his sins.
Always belittle yourself spiritually. To fight riy and pride, you have to do things. To fight
udj, you have to think to yourself how terrible you are. Ubaydah b. al-mit used to say, I
seek refuge in Allh from being great in my own sight and being very little in the sight of
Allh. When Shayn tells you that you are doing good and makes you feel proud, he knows
that you will not progress anymore. You are satisfied with yourself.
Ibn Qudmah said, Ikhl is to save yourself from the peoples sight. If a person abandons the
action, then he falls into a greater riy. idq (truthfulness) is to save yourself from yourself.
For example, lets say you wont do the work anymore and abandon the action to work on
yourself, then it is a greater riy. Lets say you manage to fight riy and do things for the sake
of Allh, so people telling you how great you are doesnt bother you anymore. Then Shayn
has you telling yourself that you are doing good and progressing and are doing it fisablillh.
You save yourself from people in ikhl. The idq is to save yourself from udj and to save
yourself from yourself. Consistently feel little and like you are not doing enough.
Ibn Taymiyyah said, A sin that brings you back to Allh is more beloved to Him than a good
deed that takes you away. Sometimes your prayer or reading Qurn causes you to be content
and satisfied and a sin may bring you back to Allh.
Al-asan al-Bari said, Do not think highly of yourself because of your surroundings in Jannah.
dam (alayhil-salm) was in Jannah and we all know what happened with that. Do not think
highly of yourself because you are a worshipper. Ibls was the greatest of worshippers to the
point where he could accompany the angels and we all know what happened to him. Do not
think highly of yourself because you are related to righteous people. Abu Lahab was the uncle
of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and we know what happened to him. Never feel
content with yourself, and never think that you are an amazing person who is always doing
good.
Abu Bakr (rayAllhu anhu) used to make du: O Allh, forgive me for that which they dont
know about me and make me better than what they say of me.
Imm Ibn al-Jawzi would make du to Allh and one day was crying and said, O Allh, I have
10,000 worshippers in front of me crying and calling upon You. Dont punish me in front of
them so that they dont say that the One he used to call us to punished him. He is saying that
he knew how low he was.
Al-Ujb and al-Ghurr: Self-Conceit and Self-Deception

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Satan promises them and arouses desire in them. But Satan does not promise them except
delusion. (al-Nis: 120)
Causes of Self-Deception
- This Worldly Life
- False Wishes and Vain Desires
- The Righteousness of Ones Parents

You may be the son of anyone at all, but acquire integrity,
Its virtue will enrich you, leaving no need for a noble pedigree.
The real man is the one who says, Here I am!
The one who says, My father was, is not the man.
~ Well-known lines of Arab poetry
-
Delving so deep into study, especially the amazing and unusual of it, no matter how
useless, and forgetting about acting upon ones acquired knowledge
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, On the Day of Judgment, the most grievous
torment will be inflicted upon a scholar whose knowledge was of no avail. (al-abarni)
Using the short-comings in the behavior of the seemingly righteous as an excuse to not
improve oneself???
Categories of those Afflicted by Self-Deception
The Scholars
He pays so much attention to what other people say about him. People tell him how good
he is, and he forgets himself.
The Worshipers
He focuses on dhikr. Imm Ibn Qudmah says, He will focus on Allh (subnahu wa tala)
and not abandoning sin and do the actions that will only make him good. There is a new
statement people say that they are spiritual and not religious. Spirituality is one of the
greatest disguises for a person disobeying Allh and wronging himself. He says he will just
do a lot of good things and wont have to abandon the evil things.
Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, As for good deeds, both a righteous person and a sinner is
capable of doing good deeds, but no one will be able to abandon sin except for one who is
truthful to Allh and his faith. Abandoning sin is harder than doing good deeds. A person

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will worship and worship and feel like he doesnt need to take care of his sins. There are
people who like to do good things because of the good feelings they get from the act itself.
People who dont believe in God are willing to do so many good things because of the
feeling they get from doing the action.
Abandoning sin is much harder. The worshipper allows his spirituality to be his disguise
from his sins. He only worries about doing more good deeds and not his sins.
Abu Ayyb al-anri said, A person may do a good deed and rely on it and forget his sins
and will meet Allh with his sins surrounding him. On the other hand, a man may commit
a sin and never stop fearing the consequences of the sins until he meets Allh safe and
sound. Abandoning sins is greater than doing acts of worship.
-
The Ascetics
Al-Ghazli said there will be a people claiming exemption and secret knowledge. They will
say they have reached a point of being an awliyah and that they have secret knowledge.
Some even have chains where they say Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) told Abu Bakr
something in a cave and my shaykh heard it from his shaykh.
Umar b. Abdul-Azz commanded the scholars to teach publicly because he said if they
taught privately, then people will claim they have secret knowledge. A person who is an
ascetic and thinks he has secret qualities and thinks he is exempt from the punishment of
Allh.
The Rich
They spend a lot in charity and think that it absolves them of living according to the
Sunnah. This is very true in modern day America in our masjid. This person is deceived.
They dont become exempt from the rest of the Sharah just because they give.
Imm Ibn al-Jawzi used to tell his students, If you dont find me in Jannah when you get there,
ask about me and say, O Allh, your slave so-and-so used to remind us of You.
Reflect:
al-Baqarah: 17 Their example is that one who kindled a fire, but when it illuminated what
was around him, Allh took away their light and left them in darkness [so] they could not
see.


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If you think you arent a hypocrite, then you are the greatest hypocrite in the world. ishah
(rayAllhu anha) was asked when a person is pious and said, When a person thinks he is a
hypocrite. She was then asked when is a person a hypocrite, and she said, When a person
thinks he is pious. If you think that you have escaped from hypocrisy, then you are a
hypocrite.
Allh says, The example is that of one who kindles a fire. Whenever Allh took away the light
around them, they are left in complete darkness and cannot see. (al-Baqarah: 17)
Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, The hypocrite benefits from the light of religion in this world.
People think he is religious and he gains status and reputation amongst the people. If he is not
true to Allh, then Allh takes away the light. On the Day of Judgment he is left with complete
darkness because the light was not kindled on the inside. The light was not internal; it was
just external. It was a show for people.
Reflect on this: In Sratl-add, Allh says on the Day of Judgment, the hypocrites will call out
to the believers, Give us some of the light that you have. The light was on the inside, and on
the Day of Judgment, the light Allh put in their hearts is shining and they can walk through
the ir. Allh left the hypocrites in darkness and says, The hypocrites are left behind a wall
between them and the true believers who had light in their hearts. They will call out to them,
Cant we be with you? They said, No, because you tested yourself and had doubts and were
deluded by your desires and the chief deceiver (Shayn) deceived you. Now you will not be
able to pay anything to get out of this. No compensation will be taken from you and nor from
those who disbelieve. This means that you had a chance to kindle this light on the inside in
your heart. The goal was to kindle it inside.
On the Day of Judgment, the only people who have light are those who have it internally and
are working on themselves and develop a love for Allh. They have the true knowledge of the
heart. Seriously ask yourself the question: which side of the wall will you be on? Either you
will be on the side of those with no light or with those who have light, the sincere. The
difference between the hypocrite and the believer is that the believer kindled the love inside
for Allh.
YouTube Video:
Surah Al Hadid Salman Al Utaybi (very powerful!)

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Treatment for Self-Deception

- Realizing the Reality of Matters
- Knowing Oneself and Ones Lord
- Knowing this Worldly Life and the Hereafter
- Knowing the Path to Allh and How to Overcome Obstacles
Envy / al-asad
It is problematic to translate some terms from Arabic and English. asad is translated as envy
or extreme jealousy. In English, jealousy always has a negative connotation and is not good.
For example, when talking about the marital relationships and saying that the woman should
obey the man, obedience is different from aa, which has a component of obedience and
following. There is a wide spectrum.
Ghrah, which is the closest equivalent to jealousy in Arabic, doesnt always have a negative
connotation. In fact, it usually has a positive connotation and means honor. When we talk
about jealousy or envy, we start talking about jealousy because people mix the two. You can
be jealous for something or jealous of something. To be jealous for something is good. To be
jealous of something equals asad and envy.
To be jealous for:
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was once approached by the abah. Sad b. Ubdah
said, If I ever catch my wife committing zina, I would kill her with the sharpest part of the
sword and him. The abah told the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that what he is
saying is too much. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Are you amazed by the
ghrah of Sad? Wallhi, I have more ghrah than Sad. And Allh has more ghrah than me.
What does this mean? Ghrah means honor. If you look at the ghrah of a Muslim, if the Muslim
has no protection in this world and there is no one to take care of them and feel honor for
them, then Allh (subnahu wa tala) has ghrah for them. Allh (subnahu wa tala) takes up
for the person who does not have a protector. Allh feels the honor of the Muslim. It isnt just
ghrah in the sense of zina or adultery, but it is for the person in al-Shm who has no protector.
Just because there is no human protector who feels offended because the person is being
killed, Allh has more honor / ghrah for that person.
It is good for a husband to have ghrah for his wife and the wife to have ghrah for the husband.
It is good for the father to have ghrah for the daughter and the mother to have ghrah for the
son. It is good as long as it doesnt lead you to accuse a person.
Ali (rayAllhu anhu) was extremely jealous for Fimah. He loved her so much and was so
protective of her. One day he was sitting with Fimah, and she is using the siwk. Ali
(rayAllhu anhu) gets offended. He starts to talk to the siwk. He says, Do you dare to go in
her mouth, O branch of araq? I see you. Didnt you fear, O branch of the araq, that I would see
you? If you were someone that could be killed, I would kill you. No one has ever beaten me, O

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siwk, siwk (other than you). Ali (rayAllhu anhu) was expressing his love for Fimah that
nothing should ever touch her for how much he loves her.
There are no narrations in which Ali accuses Fimah of looking too much at a man or talking
too much. He just loved her. It was honor, protection, and dignity. This is good. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Someone who has no ghrah will not enter Paradise. This
refers to someone with no honor someone who doesnt mind his spouse being flirtatious,
promiscuous.
The culture of peep my wife is that the husband and wife sit on the stage during the wedding
in front of everyone, and everyone takes a picture of them and then posts it on Facebook. This
is disgusting. Dont you feel any sense of shame and honor? Today it is normal for this to
happen. Husbands want people to know their wives are beautiful and for them to wear tight
clothes. They want to show off their spouses. Even women want to show off their handsome
husbands. When we dont feel a sense of shame or honor for your husband or wife, then there
is a problem.
Jealous for is a good thing. Jealous of is when you have a problem. To be jealous of
someone and want something that someone else has is where the problem comes in. This falls
under the category of asad.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) said that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Beware
of envy because envy consumes (destroys) the virtues just as the fire consumes the firewood,
or he said grass. (Abu Dwd)
The root cause of envy is loving the world too much. Why else would you be envious of other
people if you didnt love the world too much? The head of every single destructive pattern or
behavior is that someone loves dunya too much. Ibn Sirn said, I have never envied anyone
for anything related to this worldly life because if he is a good person, how can I envy him of
something if he is going to Jannah anyway? If he is a person of Hellfire, how can I envy him of
something if he will end up in Hellfire?
Permissible Types of Envy
Narrated Ibn Masd; I heard the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) saying, There is no envy
except in two: a person whom Allh has given wealth and he spends it in the right way, and a
person whom Allh has given wisdom (i.e. religious knowledge) and he gives his decisions
accordingly and teaches it to the others. (al-Bukhri)
The permissible types of envy are the one to whom Allh gave knowledge and he teaches it and
the one to whom Allh gave money and he spends it in the cause of Allh. You dont want
anyone to surpass you in good deeds, so you want to compete with the person to do more good
deeds. You dont envy them for purposes of dunya. You envy them for their status in khirah
because you want to have that same amount of good deeds.

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The poor abah came to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and said, Ya Raslullh, the
rich companions have taken all of the reward. They pray like we pray and fast like we fast.
They have money and can spend it for the sake of Allh, and we dont have any money. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said Hasnt Allh given you something that you can give
charity with? Every tasb is a adaqah. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) taught them
to say subnAllh, alamdulillh, Allhu akbar after the alh. The poor abah came back
complaining, The rich abah found out about the tasb and are doing that too. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) smiled and said, That is the bounty of Allh, and He gives
it to whom He wills. If a person is given all of the wealth and it doesnt distract him and he
spends it for the khirah, then he is a person you should envy. This is an envy that stirs up
healthy competition and not an envy that harms them.
We all naturally have a love for competition. Ibn Sirn said, Had the Prophet (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) not specified the permissible types of envy, we would have been in a lot of trouble
because we all like to compete. Some people are superficial and will compete with gold.
In Palestinian culture, there is a jhiliyy tradition in the wedding of dressing the woman with
the gold purchased for her. Then they complain that someone put ayn on her. They shouldnt
show it off to people. This tradition is from the tradition of jhiliyyah. The Quraysh would
dress the woman with the gold purchased for her.
Ibn Sirn said, By the Mercy of Allh, Allh recognizes our instincts and impulses, and He
always provides for us a way. For example, we all want fame and praise, but we direct the
love for praise to want the praise of Allh (subnahu wa tala). Likewise, for our love of
competition, we want to compete in good deeds. When we see others doing more good deeds,
it makes us feel like we are falling short.
Look at the higher examples and try to emulate them without wanting any harm for them.
You envy it because you see it as a means of coming closer to Allh (subnahu wa tala). You
envy the goal of pleasing Allh (subnahu wa tala).
Muslims have a problem of thinking they cannot ascend without putting others down.
Organizations dont succeed because we put others down. There are ulem who helped each
other, and they were more successful in the past and present. Those who put down others just
because they get famous never get anywhere. Love good for each other, but at the same time,
you want to be doing the most good.
Umar loved Abu Bakr so much and hated to displease him, but at the same time, he wanted to
beat Abu Bakr just one time and give the most charity. He saw the good deed and he wanted to
please Allh (subnahu wa tala). Abu Bakr said, If I have one foot in Jannah, Im not satisfied
until the other foot gets in. Umar cried and said, I wish I could be just a hair on the chest of
Abu Bakr. He said this because of how great he saw Abu Bakr to be. They envy the goal and
not the means.

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Main Causes of Envy
And they said, Why was this Qur'n not sent down upon a great man from [one of] the two
cities? (al-Zukhruf: 31)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was an orphan who was poor. When a person starts to
desire things, and the root cause is his love for dunya, then it causes him to wish evil for the
other person and this is asad (envy).
Is it these whom Allh has favored among us? (al-Anm: 53)

-
Self-pride
Feeling like no one deserves to have that except for you. asad is a direct manifestation of
kibr. Why did he/she get it, and why didnt I get it?
Competition
Specifically: misguided competition. Competition for materialistic and worldly things.
Our cultures encourage competition in an inappropriate manner. For example, the mahar
has become a way of selling your daughter. People compete to have weddings in better
and better hotels. One brother was going to give a $150K mahar, so his parents sold their
land overseas, and this brother died a few weeks before the wedding. Even with death
people compete. People make marble tombstones and the next person does the marble
and writes Sratl-Ftiah on it, and then the next person makes the marble higher. We
have a serious problem with competition inside of us.
Enmity
Hating someone and not wishing good for a person. This is from the worst of conditions to
have. As much as his enemies did to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), he never
wished evil for them. Why waste your time wishing evil for another person? If he is a
person of Hellfire, Allh may be testing them and increasing their punishment. Leave
other people alone. Dont wish bad for other people because it will come back to you.
Wickedness
This is a very Satanic thing. There is not necessarily a personal grudge, but you dont like
for people to be in good at all.

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How to Remedy Envy
Consider your priorities

Prioritize khirah over dunya and then you will not worry about the arm types of envy.
Ignore comparisons
Comparisons are destructive and naturally stir the go of people. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) didnt allow the father of Numn to give him a gift without giving a
similar gift to his other siblings. This naturally stirs up enmity. Dont do it with your
children or people in the community, especially not in front of them. This is why people
start hating each other. Dont compare yourself to others.
Make du for the person

This is the most effective way to get rid of asad. Force yourself to make du for the good
of the person. Saying mshAllh is a du for the person. Many times we only do it with
our tongues and not with our hearts. Make du for Allh to maintain the blessing on that
person.
Remember that Allh is the Provider

Shayn will come to you and tell you: Why did Allh put you in this situation? He didnt
put the other person in that situation and that person is not as good as you. Allh
(subnahu wa tala) says in the Qurn something very powerful:
Do they allot the portions of their Lord? It is We who have apportioned among them their
livelihood in the life of this world (al-Zukhruf: 32)
Allh has a plan for each person individually. Allh is the Provider of all.
Ibn Srn said, I have never envied anyone for anything related to this worldly life, because if
he is to be one of the residents of Paradise, how can I envy him for something pertaining to
worldly life while he is going to Paradise? And if he is to be one of the residents of the Fire,
how can I envy him for something pertaining to worldly life while he is going to the Fire!
Evil Eye
We blame every misfortune in our lives on asad. Ibn Taymiyyah said, The vast majority of
evil eye is people playing games with you and some of it is true. The problem with blaming
everything on asad is that you start thinking about who did it, which leads to suspicion,

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enmity, and evil assumption. Dont do this. Read ruqya on yourself and read the last 3 srahs of
the Qurn. Imm ibn al-Qayyim said, (reading last 3 srahs of the Qurn) along with a person
fulfilling alh on time and reading Sratl-Baqarah in the house cannot coincide with the evil
eye.
Keep on reading Qurn and exerting force against it and dont lose hope in yourself. It
becomes an excuse to fail for some people. One sister said she was possessed by a jinn twenty
years ago and it hasnt let her go, but if there is a jinn inside of her, then she has let him stay
because she is showing despair and hopelessness.
Read Qurn on yourself and have your spouse read Qurn on you. You dont have to go to a
shaykh. Did Abu Bakr have people keep coming to him all the time to ask him to read ruqya on
them? Read Qurn, pray, and make du to Allh (subnahu wa tala) and inshAllh you will
be protected from these things. Never allow yourself to think who did it to me? because
then you allow yourself to fall into the sin of suspicion.
Anger / al-Ghaab
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Restraining your anger (forbearance) is through
practicing forbearance. You learn forbearance through practice. The same way you learn
knowledge is the same way you learn to control your temper.
Narrated Abu Hurayrah: Allhs Apostle said, The strong is not the one who overcomes the
people by his strength, but the strong is the one who controls himself while in anger. (alBukhri)
The word here is not controls oneself but ownership. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) is saying, the one who owns himself in a period of anger. When you get angry and
allow yourself to get riled up and the anger to boil over, then you are not in control of yourself
anymore. You are not yourself anymore. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) says he is
able to subdue the anger and keep his senses. Allh said those who swallow their anger and
not those who dont have anger. If anger shows on your face or in your gestures, then it
means you are not restraining your anger.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) admonished the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) in Srah Abasa
because Ibn Abi Makhtoum, a blind man, came to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) while
he had the attention of the leaders of the Quraysh. This blind man was running and kicking up
the dirt and saying, Teach me from what Allh has taught you! He didnt know that
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was talking to the Quraysh. The Qurayshs problem was
that they felt they were better than the poor abah. This man comes and yells in this way,
and the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) did abasa, which indicates the two lines on your
forehead when you make the slightest frown possible. That is all the Prophet (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) did at a blind man who didnt even see him. Allh (subnahu wa tala) held the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) to a standard and told him to not show even those two
lines on his face. You suppress it and swallow it.

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The root cause of getting angry is dunya. We dont understand the concept of humbling
ourselves to people. It is a lack of remembrance of the khirah.
Some Causes of Anger

- Self-admiration
- Inappropriate joking
- Argumentation
- Betrayal
Remedying a Bad Temper Problem:

1. Learn about the virtues of forgiveness and forbearance
Take what is given freely, enjoin what is good, and turn away from the ignorant. (al-Arf: 199)
2. Remember the Anger of Allh
3. Think about the consequences of your temper in this world
4. Always carry an invisible mirror with you to see how you look when your angry
5. Try to identify the causes of your anger
6. Remember that everything that happens is by the will of Allh
and who restrain anger and who pardon the people. (le-Imrn: 134)
Abu Hurayrah relates that a man said to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam): Counsel me.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Do not get angry. The man repeated his request
many times, but the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) kept saying: Do not get angry. (alBukhri)
Learning Forbearance
-
Allh is Al-alm
How do I acquire ulm?
How am I able to gain the attribute of ulm?
The Example of Prophet Muammad (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)

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Anas b. Mlik narrated: I was walking with the Messenger of Allh and he was wearing a
mantle of Najrn with a thick border. A rude bedouin met him and pulled the mantle so
violently that I saw this violent pulling had left marks from its border on the skin of the neck
of the Messenger of Allh. And he (the bedouin) said: Muammad! Command that I should be
given out of the wealth of Allh, which is at your disposal. The Messenger of Allh turned to
him and smiled, and then he ordered for him a provision. (al-Bukhri)
Ibn Qudmah said, The person needs to prefer the khirah to the dunya and have belief in
Divine Decree. We need to learn to change our position when angry. Take yourself out of the
heat of the moment. Learn forbearance.
How do we learn forbearance? Belief in qadar and not loving the dunya too much.
A saying: To hold a grudge is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die.
When you hold a grudge, you have allowed the person trying to make you angry happy
because they know that they have been able to hurt you.
Ibn al-Qayyim said in al-Fawid, When you shield yourself from the arrows of the enemy, not
only are you not harmed by your enemy, but your enemy wasted arrows.
Once the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was sitting with Abu Bakr and a group of people
were insulting them. After the third time, Abu Bakr stood up and started arguing back.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) got up and left. Abu Bakr said, Are you angry with me,
ya Raslullh? He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, An angel came down from heaven and was
rejecting what he had said to you. And when you took revenge, a Shayn came down and the
angel left and I didnt want to be in the presence of a Shayn.
Anas b. Mlik said, I was walking with the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) while he was
wearing a nice garment. A bedouin pulled it off of him and left marks on his neck. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) turned to him and smiled and gave him more. (Bukhri)
Whenever the Jews of Madnah would say salm to him, the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
would say wa alaykum. According to most scholars including Imm Uthaymn, you should
give a Christian or Jew the exact same greeting back to him. Allh (subnahu wa tala) says in
the Qurn that if you are given a greeting, then respond to it equal or greater. The reason the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said this is because the Jews of Madnah would say al-sm
alaykum, which means may the curse of Allh be upon you.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was walking with ishah (rayAllhu anha) and
someone said, al-sm alaykum, and ishah said, May the curse of Allh be upon you and His
damnation and anger. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) told her to calm down and
that Allh did not send them with this. She said, Ya Raslullh, did you hear what they said?
He said, Yes. And did you hear how I responded? Allh loves gentleness with all matters.

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Ibn al-Qayyim said that when we see an Attribute of Allh that is not exclusive to Him, then we
should try to reflect it. For example, we cant be Al-Ramn, but we can have ramah. Allh is
Al-alm (Forbearing). Imagine if Allh punishes us immediately when we do a sin. Instead,
Allh is Forbearing and not only does He not take us right away, but He calls us to tawbah and
repentance and mercy and forgiveness. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Whenever a person sins, Allh orders the angels to wait for six hours before writing down the
sin. The person may make istighfr for it right away and it wont be written down against you,
and some scholars say that this is what it means in the adth where the man tells Allh that
there are sins that werent written. The one who repents from a sin is like the one who never
sinned in the first place. Allh is Al-alm. Allh does not hold any grudges against us and is
Just with us.
The Example of Ibrhm (alayhil-salm)
Indeed, Abraham was forbearing, grieving and [frequently] returning [to Allh]. (Hd: 75)
Allh says about Ibrhm in Srah Hd v. 75: Verily Ibrhm was alm (forbearing) but he was
grieving at the same time. He always turned to Allh and grieved only to Allh (subnahu wa
tala). To be a person who is forbearing, you have to have a relationship with Allh where you
turn to Him and complain to Him. O Allh, I have withheld my anger in hopes that You
withhold Your anger with me. Call upon Allh by means of your good deeds. In the story of
the three men in the cave, they invoke Allh with the good deed they did and said that they
did this only for Allh.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh (subnahu wa tala) never increases a
servant in forgiveness except that He increases him in glory.
Practical Measures
1. Say adhu billhi min al-shaynl-rajm. Dont let the Shayn get in the drivers seat.
When the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) saw someone angry one time, he didnt
tell him to say the istidhah because he knew that sometimes the worst thing to do is
remind them while angry. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) told the other
abah, I know a word that if he would say it, it would do away with his anger: adhu
billhi min al-shaynl-rajm.
2. Changing position
This is so rarely practiced, but make it an action item. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, If you are angry and standing up, then sit down. If you are still angry
while sitting, then lay down. This withdraws you from acting on the emotion.
3. Make wu

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If you do this, you will not have the same amount of anger. There is scientific proof.
When you are angry, you heat up physically, and when you put cold water on you, then
you calm down.
All of this serves one purpose: do not act while you are angry.
Action item: if you are upset and want to send an e-mail, then do not send it the same day.
Write the e-mail and save it as a draft and come back 24 hours later and then see if you still feel
like sending the e-mail. You will definitely change some of the e-mail because when we are
angry, Shayn makes us bolder.
If there is no human interaction, then you are more likely to be bold. People are bolder over
the phone than in person. The internet makes us have split personalities. Someone will be so
sweet and nice in person and then write an e-mail that doesnt seem like him. Shayn
emboldens the one writing the e-mail / text message, and the person reading the e-mail
imagines it in the worst situation. Marriages and masjid are destroyed because people are
writing e-mails.
The True Meaning of Forgiving Others and Not Holding Grudges
but whoever pardons and makes reconciliation - his reward is [due] from Allh. (al-Shra: 40)

The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, and Allh does not increase a servant (of His),
as a result of his forgiveness, except in glory. (al-Tirmidhi)
Understand how beloved al-ulm is to Allh (subnahu wa tala).
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said to al-Ashajj b. Abdl-Qays: You have two qualities
that Allh the Almighty loves: forbearance and patience. (Muslim)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) went to him and said, You have two qualities that
Allh (subnahu wa tala) loves: al-ulm and al-an (taking your time making sure things are
in order, not being hasty).
A group of people said they knew how to get Amad b. Abdl-Qays angry because he loved his
mom a lot. They sent someone who said, I want to marry your mother. Amad ibn AbdlQays said, Jazkallhu khayran for your interest, but you are a young man and have your whole
life in front of you, but my mother is old. By the way, tell your companions you were not able
to make me angry!
The only permissible type of anger is to get angry for Allh. Anas said, The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) never became angry for himself. If the boundaries of Allh were crossed, then
he would become angry for Allh (subnahu wa tala). If you are angry, ask yourself why you

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are angry. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) did get angry but only when the boundaries
of Allh are crossed.
Even if your anger is for Allh, you have to channel it in the right way. Channel your anger in
the proper way. Even when the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) got angry for Allh, he did
not allow it to control him. Repel evil with that which is better.
Tangent: Weve turned the masjid into a hospital that doesnt accept sick people. Talk to
people with gentleness and good manners. Support people against their Shayn. Tell them to
overcome in the right way and recognize where they are at. Lecture people according to their
level.
While Umar b. Abdul-Azz was the khalfah, he tripped over someone, and the man said, Are
you majnn (crazy)? Umar b. Abdul-Azz said, No, and kept walking. The guards went to
the man and were going to take care of him, and Umar said to the guards, What are you
doing? He asked a question, and I answered his question.
Ibrhm b. Adham was asked by a non-Muslim, Is the dog more najas than your beard? He
said, If my beard has some najsah in it, and the dog did not have any saliva, then my beard is
more najas. If my beard is pure, then my beard is more pure than the dog. The man said,
Wallhi, this is the character of the prophets. He was impressed. He tried to anger him.
Abu Dharr (rayAllhu anhu) told a servant to bring a sheep, and he brought the sheep but
broke the sheeps leg. He asked, Why did you do that? The servant said, I did it to make
you mad. Abu Dharr said, Im going to anger the one who told you to make me mad [the
Shayn] and let you go free.
Some of the scholars said in one narration the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, adhu
billhi Al-Sam wal-Alm min al-shaynl-rajm.
Look in the mirror whenever you are angry and you will be disgusted with yourself. Do things
that physically and spiritually calm you down.
Greed and Miserliness
Beautified for people is the love of that which they desire - of women and sons, heaped-up
sums of gold and silver, fine branded horses, and cattle and tilled land. That is the enjoyment
of worldly life, but Allh has with Him the best return. (le-Imrn: 14)

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The Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The likeness of this worldly life in the
Hereafter is as the likeness of what any of you (gets when he) puts his finger into the sea; so let
him see that which he gets! (al-Bukhri & Muslim)
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) reported: The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, May he
be miserable, the worshipper of the dnr and dirham, and the worshipper of the striped silk
cloak. If he is given anything, he is satisfied; but if not, he is unsatisfied. (al-Bukhri)
This means that his happiness is all about how his financial situation is. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, If the son of dam was to be given a valley of gold, then he would seek
with it another valley of gold. If he has two valleys of gold, then he would want another.
Nothing would satisfy him except for the dirt in his mouth.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) teaches us some important lessons. There is a difference between
having blessing in something and having in something. In Sratl-Anm, Allh says,
Whenever they forgot that which they are reminded of [i.e. Allh sent them hardship, a test
to wake them up but they did not wake up] We open for them the doors of all good [in the
sense of dunya]. We gave it all to them until they became pleased with what they had. We
snatched it suddenly and they are left in utter despair. The dunya was a punishment for
them. Sometimes Allh punishes a person with dunya. Having a lot is the greatest punishment
for you if you are not grateful because you hang your hopes on dunya.
Shaykh Hatem said, If you dont have expectations of the dunya, you will never be
disappointed. When you hang your hopes on something, it is a punishment on you. Do not be
fascinated by money, children, and accomplishments. It may look like they have a picture
perfect life, but Allh may be punishing them. If you have a lot and put your expectations on
it, then you will never be satisfied and will always want more and you will realize all that you
were working and toiling for was not all that it was made to be. Youll always feel like you
dont have enough.
Aa said, To be tested with wealth is more hard and more severe than to be tested with
poverty and hardship. When you are tested with wealth, sometimes you dont realize that
you are being tested. We are all in a situation because we deserve to be in the situation.
Aa said, There are three benefits to remembering death. You are satisfied with little. You
hasten to repent. You do not compete with the people of dunya over their dunya (you feel
satisfied). It can be a true punishment when you are attached and feel grief and feel a sense
of entitlement to the good in your life.
In Sratl-Arf, Allh says, And if only the people would have believed and had faith, We would
have opened the barakt (blessings) of the heavens and the earth. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) used to say, And make my house expansive. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
chose to live in an apartment so small that he had to ask ishah to move his legs so he could
pray qiym. Umar saw that his bed made marks on his back and cried. He said, I have seen
the palaces of Rome and Caesar and you are more deserving of it. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) said, Arent you pleased that this world belongs to them and for us is the

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Hereafter? When he (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, And make my home expansive, he was
asking Allh to make him feel that his house is expansive. He was asking for barakah in what
he had. Some people are given very little and are satisfied and content, and another is given
ten times that and is not content.
If you pick up your child from school and your son throws the books at you and slams the door
too hard, you would be very upset with your child, and it could ruin your day. We are so
superficial these days. If our cell phones break, we have a terrible day and we are unhappy and
not content. If your car scratches, you will yell at your son. Pretend: lets say that when you
picked up your son, he scratched the car door and on the way home you are in a car accident
and he doesnt survive. At that point you care nothing about the car. You only care about the
child. Allh gave something of value to you but you dont recognize it.
Start to see what you have as a lot even if it is a little, and dont feel entitled. Allh grants you
the wealth of the heart. Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, The greedy in this world are the people
whose poverty goes unrewarded. Their poverty and deprivation on the inside goes
unrewarded.
When you see a beggar and give him money, think that this is how Allh meant for him to get
his rizq. When Sufyn al-Thawri would see a beggar, he would say, Welcome to the one who
has come to wash my sins. Al-Fuayl b. Iy said, Beggars are such good people. They carry
our provisions to the afterlife without payment until they place it on the scale in front of
Allh. Begging is not something praised in Islam. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
The high hand is better than the low hand. The upper hand is the one that gives and the
lower hand is the one that receives. If you create a society where people understand the
obligation upon them, then people dont need to beg. During the time of Umar b. Abdul-Aziz,
they couldnt find anyone to give zakh to. At that time, the society was balanced. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said that this will happen two times in history: when sa
comes down and one time before that.
Be satisfied with your situation and ask Allh for barakah in what He gave you. Ask to have
more in less. See it as a lot even though it may be little.
There is a story of a man and woman from the children of Isrl. They were wealthy. As they
were cooking food one day, a beggar smelled it and knocked on the door. The woman
answered the door, and the beggar asked for some food. The wife then went to check with her
husband, who became loud and angry, and said, Tell him to go away! We worked and earned
this. This is the working of our hands. When she went back to the door, he was already gone.
Because of this incident, Allh caused this man to fall into poverty and they divorced. The
woman was righteous and moved on and was blessed with another husband who was wealthy.
One day they were cooking food and a beggar came and knocked on the door. She opens the
door, and the man said, I smelled the food. Can you please give me a portion of the food?
She went to her husband and said, Give him all of the food because this is what Allh has
provided for us. She gave it and came back crying. He said, Are you crying because we gave
it all away? Allh will take care of us. She said to him, Do you know who the beggar was?

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My ex-husband. He said, And do you know who I am? I am the first beggar who came to
your house.
Know that your situation can change. Do not be attached to anyone except Allh. If you only
feed the greed, it will get worse and you will never be satisfied and you will realize you have
pursued something that isnt real.
By Him in Whose Hand is my soul, no servant (of Allh) truly believes unless he loves for his
brother what he loves for himself. (al-Bukhri & Muslim)
Curbing the Desire for Food and Sex
This is very serious and significant. A scholar said, In order to be disciplined in anything, you
have to be disciplined in everything. It does have an effect.
Take care of desiring food and sex too much. You are supposed to desire them, but channel
them in the right way. Ibn Taymiyyah said, Not a single person from the time of the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) to my time (~600 years) was ever stoned for committing adultery.
In order to have that crime, you have to be married and have four trustworthy witnesses at the
same time see everything. Ibn Taymiyyah said, If a few people saw two people committing
zina, he is supposed to close his eyes and walk away (not get more people). It worked because
no one ever did it.
The beauty of the Islamic state was that it provides the checks so people dont feel the need to
do these things. Youth are married at a young age, and if they cant support themselves, the
community helps them even if it is with zakh money. Why do we have so much zina in our
communities? We have made it so hard to do all and so easy to do arm.
To curb the appetite for intimacy, Allh made marriage highly recommended, and it is
mandatory if you fear for yourself. There is a reward in being intimate with your spouse. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, There is a reward for being intimate for your
spouseIf you did it in a arm way, wouldnt you be punished? There is no concept of
celibacy in Islam.
Abdullh b. Masd said, If I had ten days left to live and I knew I would die at the end of them
and if I had time to get married, I would still get married.
In the books of tazkiyah, it is condemned to overeat. Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, One of the
worst desires a person can have is excess in food. This is what got dam out of Paradise in the
first place, and this is what stimulates the desire for wealth and it also stimulates the desire for
intimacy. Ibn Qudmah said that people who have a larger appetite for food have a larger
sexual appetite. A person should not eat in excess.
Ibn Umar reported Allhs Messenger (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) as saying that a non-Muslim
eats in seven intestines whereas a Muslim eats in one intestine. (Muslim)

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The context of this adth: There was a man who was not Muslim who drank milk from seven
different animals because he wasnt getting full. The next day he became Muslim and only
drank one cup of milk and was satisfied. This is what the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
was talking about. Imm al-Nawawi explains this adth and says: Whenever you are focused
on the hereafter, you naturally become somewhat distracted from the dunya.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The son of dam has not filled a worse vessel
than the stomach. It is enough for him to eat enough to hold his posture. This means that
you eat to function. It is okay to enjoy good food, but dont overeat.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If one must eat, he should leave 1/3rd for food,
1/3rd for drink, and 1/3rd for air. This is one of the most scientifically accurate aadth. The
gas bubble in the stomach occupies 34% of the stomach. If you infringe on the gas bubble, then
you suffer from indigestion.
If you are gaining weight in Raman, then something is very, very wrong with your diet!
Imm ibn Qudmah said, Being overweight doesnt mean that you indulge. Being thin does
not make you healthy or mean that you dont indulge.
Fill yourself to a point where you are satisfied and function. Ibn Qudmah said, You eat too
much so you sleep too much so you worship too little.
Abu Msa al-Ashari was told that he doesnt eat enough, and he said, The horses that always
win the race are the lean ones. When you want to train a horse, you feed the horse well. The
next day you barely feed them. The next day you feed them something small but nutritious.
When you are a baby, you eat like you want to eat, and then you find yourself in moderation
and portions.
If a person is sitting and food is being presented, he should not condemn others or depress
people or tell them that they are overeating. They should be kind to the host and still eat their
portions. Eat in moderation. If you are healthy physically, watch what it does to your
spirituality. When you go for ajj, it counts. When you pray tarw, it counts. You will be
used to less in fasting. You can do so much more when you are used to less.
Tip: have watermelon for sur.
One of the greatest problems in our community is pornography. Shayn makes them feel so
depressed that they cant progress in anything in life. A study said that pornography alters
chemicals in the brain the same way a drug does. One of the ways to stay away from it is be
productive. Keep yourself busy. Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, Your mind is like a mill. As long as
you put in good grain, the Shayn has nowhere to enter. Allh has forbidden khalwah.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If a man and a woman who are not related are
alone, then the third is the Shayn. If a person says that he/she doesnt have these feelings,
then tell them that Allh addresses by society and the norm.

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Ibn Masd reported that the Messenger of Allh said, Whoever among you can afford to get
married, let him do so, and whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a restraint (wija)
for him. (Nisi)
The scholars say that if you have feelings for a person, even if there is no khalwah, you should
still avoid that person if you cant marry him/her.
Khalwah is not just two people being together in a room or car. There is cyber-khalwah like
Gchat. Shayn plays with people.
The Wandering Gaze
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Do not follow one look with another look. The
second one is on you and the second one is against you. This doesnt mean that you can keep
on staring the first time! It means that you see and then lower your gaze. This means that you
dont focus on that person.
As long as we do things in moderation, then those types of extremes get rooted out.

Tell the believing men to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts. That is
purer for them. Indeed, Allh is Acquainted with what they do. (al-Nr: 30)
Imagine being watched
Allh knows the fraud of the eyes, and all that the breasts conceal (Ghfir: 19)
What is the betrayal of the eyes? Abdullh b. Abbs explains this verse. He says, A man is
with a group of people when a woman passes by, and he shows them that he has lowered his
gaze, but when they are not paying attention, he looks.
Keep your eyes on the prize
Ibrhm b. Adham was asked by a man how to lower his gaze. He told the man that he needed
a bowl of milk delivered to a place. The man delivered it. Ibrhm asked him, Did you see the
house we passed by? Did you see the market you passed by? The man said, No. If your eyes
are on the prize, then you dont pay attention to what is around you. It may sacrifice your
Jannah, so you lower your gaze. Remember Jannah whenever it happens.
Lowering your gaze applies to sisters as well. Ibn Abi Makhtoum was with Raslullh (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam), and they were sitting with the wives of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa

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sallam) who were not properly covered. They said, Ya Raslullh, he is blind. He said, Are
you blind too?
Breaking the Habit of Sin
Ascribe the bad things that happen in your life to sin. Even if they are not from sin, it will
cause you to be more vigilant in rooting out those causes, especially when it comes to your
ibdah. Three men complained to al-usayn. One man said, We dont have any rain. He
said, Stop sinning. Another said, We are not blessed with children. He said, Work on
your sins. The third said, We are struggling with poverty. He said, Work on your sins. He
was asked why he told this to each of them and said, Allh said in the Qurn that when N
complained to his Lord, N said to them, Seek the forgiveness of your Lord. Verily He is the
most forgiving. He would send upon you beneficial rain and give you money and give you
children and grant you gardens and waterfalls. There is a direct correlation between sins and
being deprived. Many times being deprived is not a punishment from Allh.
How do you know if it is punishment or a test? You know by your attitude. If you are grateful
and patient, then you are passing the test. If you are going away from Allh, then it is a
punishment.
Imm al-Shfii said, I complained to Waqi about my memory, so he guided me to stop
sinning. He said the knowledge of Allh is light and will not be given to a sinner. Leave the
sin and come back to the path and then start moving forward.
Allh (subnahu wa tala) covers you the first time. A sriq is someone who can steal
something of value that is hidden without the owner even knowing about it a skilled thief. If
you see someone take something, then he is not a sriq. A sriq was brought to Umar b. AlKhab. When the punishment was going to be taken, he said to Umar b. Al-Khab, This is
my first time! Umar said, No it is not. Allh always covers you up the first time. After his
hand was cut, the man came to Umar and said, I have stolen 21 times. Allh covers, shelters,
and shields you the first time. He (subnahu wa tala) gives you an opportunity to come back
to Him.
Ibn al-Qayyim said, Every single action manifests itself through the following process: First
the action is a fatara (passing thought). Then you start to entertain the thought and it becomes
a settled thought. If you entertain the thought long enough, then it becomes niyyah (an
intention) to commit the deed. Then you become determined to do it (azmah). (Once we
make the intention, we have a certain level of determination.) Then it becomes amal (action,
an actual deed). After it manifests itself as an actual deed, it become a habit. It is then a sin
that defines you and is part of your life.
A sister stopped wearing ijb just to take revenge on her father. The first day she went to the
university without ijb, she felt so uncomfortable that she wore a hoodie. A few weeks later,
she took it off. It became normal. The heart becomes hard and you become desensitized to the
sin and it is no longer a big deal. Imm ibn al-Qayyim said, The greatest punishment of a sin is
that Allh allows you to sin again. You become further desensitized. He said, The reward of

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a good deed is that Allh allows you to do another good deed and opens the door of good deeds
for you.
The sooner you can stop it before it manifests itself, the better. If it is a disease like backbiting
or lying, then the more it becomes part of your personality, the harder it will be to root out.
But this cannot be an excuse to not try to get rid of your sin. Ibn Qudmah said, It is like a
farmer who sees a tree growing which is harmful and has weeds and then decides to come back
later to take care of it. What happens with the tree when it grows? It not only grows on the
outside, but the roots grow too. The behavior or flaw becomes more and more established in
your heart. Prevention is always more effective than restoration.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, All children of dam are sinners, and the best
sinners are those who repent. (al-Tirmidhi)
Sufyn al-Thawri said, Making istighfr is more important than making tasb. If you have a
stain on a garment, the priority is to clean the stain and not to accessorize more.
The Source
1. Where was I when I first committed this sin?
Treat sin the way you would treat any other drug rehab. If you are walking and trip
and fall, the first thing you do is try to figure out what caused you to trip. The most
important aspect of the sin is try to see what the source was. Imm Ibn al-Jawzi gave
this example. Where did it start? How did you develop it in the first place? Was it an
environmental factor?
2. When did I first do it?
3. Did anyone encourage me to commit this sin directly or indirectly?
When society becomes corrupt, then the standards of what is ethical become
completely blurred. Look at your environment and your close friends.
4. What was the primary intended goal of committing the sin?
Whenever you do something, you do it for a reason. You thought the sin was going to
make you happy, which is why you did it in the first place. You were not patient with
Allh. Ask yourself: what was the intention behind the sin and was the goal achieved?
5. Was that goal achieved?
6. What are some of the possible secondary factors?
Look at what happened and how you became this way.
The Action
1. Was this sin committed using any tool or medium? (i.e. Facebook, CD Player, Phone,
Business Location)
2. If so, is this tool a necessity in my life?
3. Did I feel any guilt after committing this sin the first time?
How desensitized are you? How did you feel after the first time? Did any friends praise
the sin or encourage you to repeat it?
4. Did any of my friends praise this sin or encourage me to repeat it?

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Post-Sin Feelings
1. How many times did I repeat this action?
2. How often do I put myself in unnecessary contact with an environment conducive to
committing it?
There is a saying in drug rehab: If you are an alcoholic, then dont play pool in a bar.
You are exposing yourself to contact with the bar, and it is inviting you to it.
3. Did anything bad happen to me after the sin (even if unrelated to the act itself)?
Ascribe what happened to the sin itself.
4. Did anyone I was trying to hide the sin from catch me in the act? If so, how did it make
me feel?
Imm al-asan al-Bari said, If there is a thief who is robbing a house and hears the
doorknob rattle, he will hide. At that moment, he committed a form of shirk because
Allh was watching him the whole time and he felt no shame. When he thought that
someone may see him, then he felt ashamed of himself.
How do you feel when people catch you?
5. Did I sacrifice any acts of worship as a result of the sin? (i.e. Listening to music instead
of Qurn, going to a party instead of the masjid)
Game Plan
1. Imagine having to stand in front of Allh and watch the sin being committed in front
me, then having to explain it.
Lets say your mother had a hidden camera that recorded you committing the sin and
then made you watch it with her and explain the sin. How much worse is this than her
just having knowledge of it? On the Day of Judgment, you will see it all in replay. You
will have to watch the replay with Allh (subnahu wa tala) and answer for it.
2. Imagine having to be burned by a fire for every time I commit the sin.
3. Pray two rakahs and sincerely seek forgiveness from Allh.
4. Ask Allh to grant me the strength to deal with the withdrawal symptoms of the sin.
When you leave things, you may become an outcast. You will have withdrawal
symptoms when you leave the sin. The effects are not necessarily a manifestation of
Allhs anger on you. Allh accepted dams repentance, but dam had consequences
for his sin and had to leave Jannah. You will face consequences whenever you withdraw
yourself from these things, but ask Allh to help you deal with it.
5. Make a commitment to never return to that sin again.
Al-asan al-Bari said, The one who is truly fearful of Allh is not the one who cries
and wipes his tears but he is the one who leaves the things that cause him to be fearful
in the first place.
6. Seek forgiveness from the people I hurt with this sin (if applicable).
7. Designate a self-enforced punishment for myself if I do it again to act as a deterrent.
(i.e. soap in mouth/cursing)
Soap in the mouth is one of the most effective ways to deal with cursing. It is a
deterrent. Punish yourself in ways that dont harm you. It is extremely effective.
8. Give an act of charity or perform extra prayers to make up for the sin.

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9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
14.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Follow up your sin with a good deed and it
will wipe it out. This doesnt mean you can consistently do the same sin and then
follow it up with a good deed. The ultimate sign of your repentance and turning the
page is doing a good deed after a bad deed. Good deeds do away with the sins. For
tawbah, make two rakahs. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) legislated it. Physically
involve yourself in tawbah and make yourself feel involved. Do good deeds to show that
you have turned the page.
Eliminate all mediums that could be used to pull me back into the sin. (i.e. delete phone
numbers, deactivate Facebook account, change email address, put up internet firewalls,
break CDs, take TV out of my room, etc.)
Dont tempt yourself. Dont leave the means open for temptation.
Look for a permissible alternative to my sin (nicotine gum for smokers, sports,
nashds/nats)
Imm Ibn Qudmah said, For a person to do something merely permissible to take him
away from something arm is good and can be rewardable. Keep active. Keep away
from being idle because that is when Shayn has time to work on you.
Disassociate either gradually or immediately from the people who either commit the
same sin or encourage me to do so.
This is crucial. If you keep the same company and they commit that sin or have a
behavioral issue, then you will fall back into it. Surround yourself with good company.
Surround myself with people who abhor the sin and will help me refocus.
Make a pact with someone in a similar situation to leave that sin for good.
Keep my eye on the prize! Realize if Allh doesnt replace what Ive lost with something
in this dunya, then He will do so in Jannah, or even both, inshAllh.
Allh will give you back more than what you have sacrificed. Allh says, Whoever is
conscious of Me, I will make a way out for him and grant him from ways that he never
expected. Allh will make a way out for you, inshAllh.
Sometimes a person who committed a sin will take extra precautions to root it out and avoid it
and be in a better situation than the one who never had it. Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, Shayn
thought he defeated dam by getting him out of Paradise, but in reality, Allh raised the status
of dam because he learned to make tawbah and drew closer to Allh. When the diver dives, he
gathers the pearls from the bottom and rises up again.
You learn the lessons from the sin and become more vigilant. Yaya said, I love to
accompany the repentant those who used to live a life of sin and then they abandoned it
because their hearts are the softest. They gathered the lessons and tasted the sweetness of
mn because they tasted the darkness of ignorance.
When you commit a sin, Shayn will make you reckless and try to make you do things you
cant recover from. He will try to take you to a point of no return. The problem is that many
times we think that if we are guilty of a sin, then who am I to pray or fast or attend a class?
Shayn tells you while you are doing a sin how terrible you are and that Allh will not forgive
you and will not have mercy on you. Always leave the door open between you and Allh.

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Abu Bakr, one of the taba tabin, said, Once I was traveling to al-Shm with other travelers,
and on the way, we were attacked by thieves. They took everything we had and put it in front
of the gang leader. From the goods was a bag of sugar and some almonds. The thieves began
eating in front of us. Everyone was eating except for the leader, so I asked him why he wasnt
eating anything, and he said he was fasting. I said, How is it that you are a highway robber
and steal peoples property and kill people and are fasting? He said, O shaykh, this is a door
that I keep open between me and Allh so that maybe one day I will be able to enter upon Allh
through it. He is saying that he does many bad things, but he wont give up on this one thing
and at least he has this habit because maybe Allh will guide him through that door again.
Shayn always makes you think backwards: I wont wear ijb because Im not worthy of
wearing it, I wont go to ajj because I have arm money.
Abu Bakr said, After a while, I saw this same person in ajj. I asked, Are you who I think you
are? He said, Yes! That fasting that I kept open elevated me to this status, and Allh accepted
me through that door so I abandoned all of the other stuff.
Whenever we talk about these flaws, people feel that they are being attacked. You feel like you
have every disease in the book. Keep whatever doors you have open to Allh and try to shut
the doors to the Shayn.
YouTube Video:
The Poem that made Imam Ahmad Cry [TDR]

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Chapter 4 | Istiqmah
The word istiqmah means: stability, straight, disciplined, stable, steadfastness, consistent.
One time the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was sitting with Abu Bakr (rayAllhu anhu),
and Abu Bakr said, Ya Raslullh, Im noticing that all of a sudden grey hairs are appearing in
your hair. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was very youthful looking and when he
passed away at 63 years old, he only had 20 grey hairs. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, Srah Hd and its sisters have turned me grey. Towards the end of the Makkan period,
the revelation about the previous prophets came: Ynus, Maryam, Ysuf, Sratl-Anbiy. The
reason was to give the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) some reinforcement and to look at
what the previous prophets went through. This srah in particular had a profound effect on
the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). When Abu Bakr asked what about Srah Hd gave him
the grey hair, he said the following yah:
So remain on a right course as you have been commanded, [you] and those who have turned
back with you [to Allh], and do not transgress. Indeed, He is Seeing of what you do. (Hd: 112)
Istaqim is the right course. Ibn Abbs (rayAllhu anhu) said, No verse has ever been revealed
to the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that was harder than this verse. Why? It was a
command for him to maintain consistency no matter what he went through.
When he (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was asked a question, he would see where the person was
at before answering. Someone asked for advice that is short, he told him, Dont become
angry.
Whenever the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was asked for advice, he would look at the
person and see where this person was at and what the person needed to hear. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was asked by a man, What is the key to survival? He (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, Say you believe in Allh and set your affairs straight. (Muslim)
When al-asan al-Bari would come across this yah, he would say, O Allh, You are our Lord
so grant us istiqmah.
The Hardest Task
- In regards to hardship
- In regards to maintaining strength
The likeness of the heart is as the likeness of a feather that the wind is turning over in the
desert. (Amad)

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Istiqmah means two things.

1) It comes in regards to hardship. It is hard to keep moving forward when under
oppression or going through tests such as poverty, oppression, being stricken,
challenged in faith. Keep moving forward and dont become diverted.
2) Maintaining strength. You start something but dont think you can finish or you look
at things as being so big that you dont even try to start. Analysis paralysis is a
disease. It means that you overanalyze everything and render yourself incapable of
doing anything. You say, I want to go study overseas, but you arent even taking
advantage of the local classes in your community. One day I want to do but you
dont do anything.
When describing strength, Allh describes the tree of mn in Srah Ibrhm: Have you not
seen how Allh has give the example of a pure word like a good tree. Its foundation is firm and
its branches are in the skies. It is consistently producing fruit regardless of the season. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said to the companions, What is the tree most similar to
the tree of faith? The date palm tree. A palm tree is immovable. You cannot move or shake
it. One of the miracles of Maryam was that when Allh told her to shake the palm tree, dates
fell. It is a tree that consistently gives off its fruit. Allh is saying this is the example of a
person with faith. This is how it is supposed to be in your heart.
Sometimes you have low points in your faith, but at the same time, it never gets to a point
where the faith is out of your heart completely. Your faith is producing actions. Some
scholars said that the meaning of this is that the tree provides shade not only for the person
who has the tree but for those around them. If you correct yourself as an individual, society
will be corrected. He benefits other people with his mn. His actions benefit others. It is not a
seasonal tree. A believer doesnt sometimes get involved and then all of a sudden quit. It is
constantly producing fruit regardless of the time. The tree consistently produces at some
pace. Sometimes it will produce a little more, but it is always in the state of productions.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Everything has its maximum point of
production. Everything that has its maximum also has its down point. Whoever has his down
time in accordance with the Sunnah of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam), then he has
become successful. Whoever has it according to anything else will fail. (Ibn ibbn)
There will be times a person overproduces, but whenever you are at the low point in mn, you
still maintain basic things. You maintain your prayers. If you didnt pray qiym, you still
maintain the sunnah. You maintain an acceptable level of consistency. Otherwise, the Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) says you will fail and in another narration you will destroy
yourself. Sometimes you see people jump in really fast and a few weeks later, they cant
maintain the level and completely fall off. Be gradual and discipline yourself to be on the
straight path. Move at a steady pace towards Allh (subnahu wa tala).
Abdullh b. Masd (rayAllhu anhu) gives a powerful analogy. Some people have istiqmah if
they are in a class or the right environment, but as soon as they are exposed to the secular
world, it all goes away, which indicates a lack of emotional stability.

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Abdullh b. Masd said, The example of the believer, unbeliever, and hypocrite is that of
three people who arrive in a valley. One descended and passed through to the other side. One
descended and reached halfway. One of them was at the edge of the valley calling to the one in
the middle saying, Woe to you! Where are you going? The one who reached the other side
called, Come to the One who will save you! The one in the middle called back, I dont want to
die! The man in the middle was looking back and forth. Because he kept looking back and
forth, a flood came and he drowned. The one who made it across the valley was the believer.
The disbeliever stood calling out and died of starvation. The one in the middle was
consistently torn. He wasnt sure if he could be that person who crosses, and he died before
realizing his full potential because he wasnt moving at a gradual pace. Ibn Masd recited
yah 143 in Sratl-Nis.
Wavering between them, [belonging] neither to the believers nor to the disbelievers. And
whoever Allh leaves astray - never will you find for him a way. (al-Nis: 143)
Allh (subnahu wa tala) said, The most beloved actions to Allh are the ones that are most
lasting even though they are little. (Muslim)
You cant have discipline in anything unless you have discipline in everything. Not only your
alh and siym but also with your family relationships.
Consider every day as your last day. Abdullh b. Umar said, When the evening comes, dont
wait for the day, and when the day comes, dont wait for the evening.
Say: I believe in Allh, and then set your affairs straight! (Muslim)
The Most Praiseworthy Task
Have you not considered how Allh presents an example, [making] a good word like a good
tree, whose root is firmly fixed and its branches [high] in the sky? It produces its fruit all the
time, by permission of its Lord. And Allh presents examples for the people that perhaps they
will be reminded. (Ibrahm: 24-25)

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Consistency
ishah reported Allhs Messenger as saying, The acts most pleasing to Allh are those
which are done continuously, even if they are small. And when ishah did any act she did it
continuously. (Muslim)
Discipline in ALL areas
- Religion
- Life
- Character
Abdullh b. Umar (rayAllhu anhu) used to say, When the evening comes, do not wait for
the morning, and when the morning comes, do not wait for the evening. (al-Bukhri)

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Chapter 5 | Moderation: Dont Go to Extremes (Ifr and Tafr)
O children of dam, take your adornment at every masjid, and eat and drink, but be not
excessive. Indeed, He likes not those who commit excess. (al-Arf: 31)
And [they are] those who, when they spend, do so not excessively or sparingly but are ever,
between that, [justly] moderate (al-Furqn: 67)
The Prophet Muammad (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said: Do good deeds properly, sincerely
and moderately, and worship Allh in the forenoon and in the afternoon and during a part of
the night, and always adopt a middle, moderate, regular course, whereby you will reach your
target (of Paradise). (al-Bukhri)
Balance
Narrated Abu Juayfah: The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) established a bond of
brotherhood between Salmn and Abul-Dard. Salmn paid a visit to Abul-Dard and found
Umml-Dard dressed in shabby clothes, and he asked her why she was in that state. She
replied, Your brother, Abul-Dard, is not interested in the luxuries of this world. In the
meantime Abul-Dard came and prepared a meal for him (Salmn), and said to him, (Please)
eat, for I am fasting. Salmn said, I am not going to eat, unless you eat. So Abul-Dard ate.
When it was night, Abul-Dard got up (for the night prayer). Salmn said (to him), Sleep,
and he slept. Again Abul-Dard got up (for the prayer), and Salmn said (to him), Sleep.
When it was the last part of the night, Salmn said to him, Get up now (for the prayer). So
both of them offered their prayers and Salmn said to Abul-Dard, Your Lord has a right
upon you, and your own self has a right on you, and your family has a right on you, so you
should give the rights of all those who have a right upon you). Later, Abul-Dard visited the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and mentioned that to him. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) said, Salmn has spoken the truth. (al-Bukhri)
Save yourselves and your families from a fire. Imm Ibn al-Jawzi said, A person who is
incapable of taking care of himself is incapable of taking care of his family. A person who is
incapable of taking care of his family is incapable of taking care of the ummah. Find the
balance as much as you can.

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Scholars say that when you go to excess, whether it is extreme denial (ifr) or excess (tafr),
one person tries to abandon all of his desires and another lives out what he wants to. Imm Ibn
al-Qayyim said, If you go to an extreme in trying to suppress your desires, then when you
reach your boiling point, you will act on the desires in far deviant ways. If you try to suppress
and deny yourself too much, you will end up reaching your boiling point one day and will go
too far. You cannot go too far in suppressing yourself. Dont maintain a pace that is
impractical.
Abdullh b. Amr b. Al- was overzealous as a young person and wanted to pray all night,
finish the Qurn everyday, and fast every day. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) knew
that he was incapable of maintaining that level and wanted to calm him down. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) asked him, How much do you pray? He said, I pray all night.
He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The best form of qiym is to the last third of the night.
Sleep for the first part of the night and wake up for the last third and sleep the last sixth of the
night. He says, Ya Raslullh, I can do more. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Thats enough. How much do you fast? He said, I fast every day. The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, Fast Mondays and Thursdays. He says, Ya Raslullh, I can do more.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Fast the 13th, 14th, 15th. He says, Ya Raslullh, I
can do more. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The best fasting is the fasting of
Dwd. Fast one day and break the fast the next day. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
advised him not to finish reading the Qurn more than once every three days. We can find
abah who were doing those things.
We can find some of the abah who prayed more than 1/3rd of the night and some abah
like Abu ala fasted every day except for the two ds, and there were abah who read the
Qurn more than once within three days. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) did not
want Abdullh b. Amr b. Al- to jump all in because he didnt think he was capable of
maintaining it. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Dont be like the person who used to pray
qiyml-layl and then left it. Abdullh b. Amr b. Al- said, I wish I would have taken the
advice of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam). You reach a level when you cant maintain
anymore.
What is True Zuhd (Asceticism)?
Today, people will inflict poverty on themselves and think that they are doing Allh a favor.
Sad b. al-Jubayr said, Allh tests me, I dont test him. Umar saw some young people sleeping
in the masjid in the middle of the day and told them to wake up and work and make money. The
day after Abu Bakr assumed the khilfah, Umar sees him in the marketplace carrying bags of
merchandise on his back and Abu Bakr said, I am working and doing my job. Amongst the
abah were successful businessmen like Abdul-Ramn b. Awf.
So what then is zuhd? Allh gave Sulaymn (alayhil-salm) so much kingdom on this earth. He
made du, O my Lord, forgive me and grant me a kingdom that you will not grant to anyone
else. He asked Allh for a customized kingdom after he asked for forgiveness. The priority was
forgiveness, but he also asked Allh for dunya. Imm al-Khuzayni collected narrations:

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Sulaymn was once walking in his kingdom with people and animals following him and a
righteous worshipper said, O son of David, Allh has given you a great kingdom. Sulaymn
stopped and asked, Who said that? They pointed out the man. He said, One subnAllh is
better in the book of a believer is better than everything the son of David has been given. What
has been given to the son of David will disappear, but the tasb will stay forever. He had the
kingdom, but at the same time, that wasnt what he was all about. We are supposed to make
du: O Allh, grant us in the dunya good and in the khirah good and protect us from the fire.
Why do we say qina adhbl-nr? Just because you get asanah in the khirah doesnt mean you
wont get some of the punishment first. It is okay to ask for dunya and to ask for good. It is
from the Sunnah of the prophets to do so.
Ali b. Abi lib defines zuhd best: Asceticism is not that you own nothing but it is that nothing
owns you. What you own stays in your hand and doesnt go to your hearts. Abdul-Ramn b.
Awf was a multi-millionaire, but it never went to his heart. No relationship or wealth or
reputation owns you. You own all of that stuff and you control it; it doesnt control you.
The abah ran away from the world, and the world chased them. Umar b. Abdul-Aziz tried
to run away from the masjid when he was appointed khalfah, and the people picked him up and
took him to the minbar. He was a rich person, but he abandoned everything in his home. When
Umar b. Abdul-Aziz passed away, Leo III, the Roman Emperor, came out of his house crying
and said, If there was to be a man who could bring the dead back to life after sa, it would have
been Umar b. Abdul-Aziz. People should not be impressed by a monk who never had anything
in the first place who abandoned the world and stayed in his temple worshipping, but people
should be impressed and amazed by a person to whom the dunya presented itself to his feet and
he still abandoned it.
He said, My Lord, forgive me and grant me a kingdom such as will not belong to anyone after
me. Indeed, You are the Bestower. (d: 35)

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Chapter 6 | Get Your Wird On

The Purpose of the Pillars
What is the function of good deeds?
And mention the name of your Lord [in prayer] morning and evening. And during the night
prostrate to Him and exalt Him a long [part of the] night. (al-Insn: 25-26)
Did you know that every pillar is meant to curb a destructive flaw?
detaches you from something.
Every pillar of Islam
Fill in the blanks below:

Shahdah curbs: it detaches you from any other deity. The greatest of destructive flaws is
shirk. Shahdah breaks this.
alh curbs: pride. You have to humble yourself and come to Allh (subnahu wa tala). You
put your head on the floor and prostrate to Allh (subnahu wa tala). You remind yourself
five times a day at least how low you are. alh breaks your attachment to ego.
Zakh curbs: greed, miserliness, dunya. It breaks you away from having any attachment to
worldly and materialistic things.
iym curbs: desires, tongue, intimacy, anger. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Allh is not in need of the fasting person who curses. Allh says in the Qurn: Allh has
written upon you fasting just as He wrote it upon those who came before you so that you could
gain taqwa. In Srah le-Imrn, Allh says, those who give in times of adversitythey
swallow their anger and learn to pardon people. The goal of fasting is taqwa. If you dont gain
God-consciousness, then you have failed in your fasting.
ajj curbs: everything! This is why it is once in a lifetime. It curbs arrogance, pride (you have
to go with the flow and reduce yourself), tongue (you dont want to spoil your ajj by talking),
envy (you are all the same), anger (you cant lose your patience), greed. ajj is the ultimate
journey that combines all of these things in one.
These pillars protect us from these flaws. Clean yourself from these flaws and protect yourself.
Fortify yourself. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, When you go to the grave and
the punishment tries to come to you from any direction, your alh stops it from your head.
Your different acts of worship (i.e. zakh, charity) stop it and they say, You have no entrance
from here. Your acts of worship act as your fortress and protect you both in the physical
sense and spiritual sense.

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Wird is your spiritual regimen. The word sharah means the path that leads to water. It is a
path that is well-trodden. In the desert, you know it is a path that leads to water because of all
the footsteps leading that way. When the Arabs say, I have given my camel sharah, it means
that he took the camel to the water and let him drink until he became satisfied. When the
Arabs would say, awradahal-m, it means that the camel knows what is good for it and the
owner puts the water in the camels mouth.
Sharah is not to be forced. Wird is when you force yourself to abide by a spiritual regimen
because you understand that it is good for you. You have established times and routines of
drinking at certain times.
The linguistic definition of wird: the owner of the camel giving the camel the drink.
A few notes in terms of developing your daily routine:
Understand your complexity!
Everyone is different. Some people can fast and it is easy for them. Some people can give
more charity or visit more sick people. Abdullh b. Abbs was once criticized that he didnt
fast nawfil. He said, When I fast, it prevents me from the doing the same amount of qira as I
would be able to had I not been fasting.
Indeed, the Muslim men and Muslim women, the believing men and believing women, the
obedient men and obedient women, the truthful men and truthful women, the patient men
and patient women, the humble men and humble women, the charitable men and charitable
women, the fasting men and fasting women, the men who guard their private parts and the
women who do so, and the men who remember Allh often and the women who do so - for
them Allh has prepared forgiveness and a great reward. (al-Azb: 35)
Allh (subnahu wa tala) mentions to us many different categories. Allh is mentioning all of
these different categories. Weigh yourself against each of these categories and see where you
fall.

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Act with a Sense of Purpose

If you want to get things done, dont be lazy. Al-Ghazli said, If a person is deeply engaged in
a certain thought, then everything lends itself to that thought. If you are thinking of
someone you love, then everything reminds you of that person. That is the same way a person
is to be in the pursuit of Allhs love.
Food for thought: Imagine sitting on a beach and a Muslim on his boat sneezed
There is a story related by al-Shawkni about the great muaddith Abu Dwd. Abu Dwd was
on board a ship and he heard someone far away sneeze and say alamdulillh. He wanted to
go the person and say yaramuk Allh to receive the reward, so he paid one dirham to rent a
rowboat and went to the person and said this and came back to the ship. Imm Abu Dwd was
asked why he did that, and he said, The person will in return for saying yaramuk Allh make
du for my guidance, and maybe his supplication is of those whose du is answered. They
heard a voice saying, Surely Abu Dwd has purchased paradise from Allh for one dirham.
This is the way that a person who acts with a sense of purpose thinks!
The P90x Wird
The core element of P90X is muscle confusion. You work a different set of muscles all the time
but are consistently confusing them. You have to do this with your spirituality sometimes.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Verily, faith becomes worn out in your heart the
way a thawb becomes worn out. You need to confuse your spirituality and do things out of
the ordinary and push yourself. Do sajdah of shukr. Pray two rakahs nfilah out of the blue.
Read Qurn out of the blue. Even when you establish a routine, if you only do the routine,
then you will start getting bored and it will no longer serve its purpose.
Abdullh b. Amr narrated that the messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said: Every
servant of Allh possesses some inclination (shirra), and every inclination has its course (fatra).
If ones inclination is for the Sunnah, he has succeeded. If otherwise, he has perished.
(Bayhaqi)
The superstar: Abu Bakr (rayAllhu anhu)
Umar always wanted to be like Abu Bakr. Ali says about Abu Bakr: Every time you think of
good, Abu Bakr has already done it. Abu Bakr was once sitting with the abah and the
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Who amongst you is fasting today? Abu Bakr and
some abah raised their hands. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Who amongst
you gave charity today? Abu Bakr and another group of abah raised their hands. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Who amongst you visited a sick person today? Abu
Bakr and another group of abah raised their hands.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, And who amongst you walked a janzah today? Abu Bakr and another group of
abah raised their hands.
This is a superstar! Abu Bakr combines all of these
characteristics. Why did he make sure he was doing all of these things?

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Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said:
Whoever spends two things in the way of Allh will be called from the gates of Jannah and will
be addressed, O slave of Allh, here is prosperity! So whoever was among the people who used
to offer their prayers will be called from the gate of prayer; and whoever was among the
people who used to participate in jihd will be called from the gates of jihd; and whoever was
among those who used to observe fasts will be called from the gate of al-rayyn; and whoever
was among those who used to give in charity will be called from the gate of charity. Abu Bakr
said, Let my parents be sacrificed for you, Oh Allhs Messenger! No distress or need will
befall him one will be called from those gates. Will there by anyone who will be called from all
these gates? The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) replied, Yes. And I hope you will be one
of them. (a Bukhri)
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) names eight gates to Paradise, and the distance between
each gate is the distance between the heavens and the earth. We all just want to get in from
any gate. When Abu Bakr (rayAllhu anhu) hears the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) say
this adth, he asks if anyone will be called from all of the gates. He wants to go through all of
them. When you get into Jannah, you dont go out and then enter through another gate.
When the people enter into Jannah, Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said people will be
called by the angels from the gates. Imagine a VIP who is called from the gates to enter.
Imagine how good it feels (may Allh allow this to be us. mn).
Diversify our wird hoping that Allh will allow us to be called from all of these gates,
inshAllh.

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Chapter 7
|
Remembrance
The Daily Wird:
A Share of Contemplation &
What are the components your day should have? Allh says, In the alternation of the night
and day and in the creation of the heavens and the earth are signs for the people whose
intellect is clear. Al-ulil-albb means that there is nothing occupying your mind except for
Allh. Clean intellect. People whose minds are free from other than Allh. Their minds are
focused. Those who remember Allh standing, sitting, and while lying down. They are
contemplating the creation of the heavens and the earth and say, O Allh, You did not create
this in vain. Subnak. So protect me from the punishment. They are focused and in the
zone and wherever they are they see the remembrance of Allh.
How do you gain that? There should be a share in your day of solitude and seclusion and
contemplation a quiet place where you remember Allh (subnahu wa tala). Your down
time where you think and contemplate.
The example of [this] worldly life is but like rain which We have sent down from the sky that
the plants of the earth absorb - [those] from which men and livestock eat - until, when the
earth has taken on its adornment and is beautified and its people suppose that they have
capability over it, there comes to it Our command by night or by day, and We make it as a
harvest, as if it had not flourished yesterday. Thus do We explain in detail the signs for a
people who give thought. (Ynus: 24)
Narrated ishah (rayAllhu anha): The commencement of the Divine Inspiration to Allhs
Apostle (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was in the form of good dreams which came true like bright
day light, and then the love of seclusion was bestowed upon him. He used to go in seclusion in
the cave of Hir where he used to worship (Allh alone) continuously for many days before his
desire to see his family (al-Bukhri)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) had the love of seclusion. He (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) would go to Hir for weeks. He would think and contemplate.
Umar b. al-Khab (rayAllhu anhu) said, You should have some proportion of solitude or
else you will become heedless.

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Al-asan al-Bari said: Contemplation is a mirror that shows you your good and bad deeds.
Sometimes you just need to sit and think about your situation and contemplate. Think about
how you measure up to what Allh (subnahu wa tala) has commanded from you. Ibn
Taymiyyah would contemplate at the riverbank every single day. This was the habit of the
lin. Reflect on nature.
Shaykh Yaser Birjas said, One of the reasons why we lack khush in alh is because of all of
the artificial lighting. The night is meant to be your downtime when you dont see anything
and have solitude, but now everything is lit up.
Imm al-Awzi said, At the time of fajr or before it, the salaf would be as if birds were sitting
on their heads, sitting and concentrating in worship, so much so that if a close friend came
after having been parted from them, they would not even notice. After, they would meet each
other and sit in circles. The first thing they will do is discuss the khirah. Then after that, they
would discuss what would become of them in the hereafter. Then they would split into other
circles and study the Qurn. Then they would split into more circles and study fiqh until it
reached the time of ua prayer, and they would pray two rakahs. They would then tell the
jokes and sing the poetry of jhiliyyah. (They had their share of talking about dunya.) In the
morning, there was a time of solitude and thinking of your situation.
When you clear your head and think, you start noticing things.
In an authentic narration, Rabiah al-Adawiyyah says, I have never heard the dhn except
that I remember the caller who will announce the Day of Resurrection and I never see the
falling snow except that I imagine the flying pages of the records of peoples deeds on the Day
of Judgment. I never see swarms of locusts except that I think about the great gathering on
the Last Day. Everything she sees reminds her of the khirah and the Day of Judgment.
There is a weak adth: Remember Allh until they call you majnn (crazy). Someone who is
always engaged in remembrance is not idle. Even when walking, they are talking to
themselves. They are always in the remembrance of Allh (subnahu wa tala). They talk to
Allh at all times. They take advantage of every single idle moment. Imagine how much dhikr
you can get done on your way to work or on your way to class. The average person spends 18
years in the car by the time they die. Imagine eighteen years of nothing but dhikr. Instead,
you are talking on the phone or listening to the radio.
Concept of using even the times of your life when you are engaged in work: You can
synchronize dhikr with your work. Imm Amad, in an authentic narration from Ibn al-Jawzi,
said, One time, I traveled to al-Shm. When I reached there, I went to sleep in the masjid.
Whenever I lay down to go to sleep, the guard of the masjid came to me and told me the masjid
is closing and that I had to leave. I went out and slept in front of the masjid. The guard came
out and picked up my legs and dragged me to the middle of the road. There was a baker who
owned the shop across from the masjid. The baker saw me and told him to spend the night in
his bakery. I went to his bakery, and the man made a comfortable place where I could lay
down. He started doing his work. He took the dough and shaped it and put it in the oven. I

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saw him constantly saying, subnAllh, alamdulillh, la ilha illa Allh, Allhu akbar. I thought
to myself that he didnt get tired. I stopped and asked him, How long have you been in this
situation? He said, What situation? I said, Tasb. He said, I have been doing this for years.
Imm Ahmed said, And what have you seen as a result of your frequent remembrance? He
said, My dus are mustajab. I said, You never made du for anything except that Allh gave
it to you? He said, Except for one thing that I am still waiting for the answer: to see Imm
Amad. I said, I am Amad! He embraced me. I said, Allh brought me dragging by my feet
to your bakery! Had you not made du, I would have been sleeping in the masjid. The point
is the man wasnt a scholar or someone who was a worshipper, but he had a strict wird. He
consistently remembered Allh (subnahu wa tala). Being in that state elevated him and put
him in that lofty position.
Abdullh b. Mubrak (raimahullh) had a neighbor who was an ironsmith. Every single day,
the neighbor would look out to him and see people coming to his house to study with him. He
would see Abdullh b. Mubrak praying qiyml-layl on his roof. He made du, If I had the
opportunity to be like that, I would be like that. After Abdullh b. Mubrak died and this man
died, some of his students saw him in a dream and they asked him what happened to him, and
he said he was in Jannah. They asked about his neighbor and Abdullh b. Mubrak said he is
farther up because every time he heard the dhn , he would put his work down and go and
pray and he sincerely desired to do more, but his situation held him back. You dont have to be
a shaykh to have a productive day.
People usually make dhikr before going to sleep. It is very common that you fall asleep in the
middle. Abdullh b. Masd said, Falling asleep when remembering Allh is from Shayn.
When you lie down and want to sleep, try to remember Allh and you will get sleepy.
Which is preferable: seclusion or keeping company?
Imm Ibn Qudmah talks about some scholars who preferred absolute seclusion and some
preferred to be around people. Understand complexity. If you progress more in solitude, then
keep more solitude. If you progress more around righteous people, then keep the company of
righteous people. See what is better for you. You need to have a share of both. What do you
increase in? It depends on the individual.
Sufyn al-Thawri didnt like the company of anyone. Imm Amad said, I wish for a world
devoid of people. He liked being alone. You have to diagnose yourself.
Benefits of Seclusion
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Dedication to ritual worship

Staying away from sins like backbiting, greed, or hypocrisy
Avoiding being affected by others bad behavior
Escaping temptation and dissention
Saving oneself from others harm
Avoiding wasting time

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Is it better to pray tarw at home or in the masjid? It depends. It is important that tarw is
established in the masjid. Umar b. Al-Khab gathered the people behind one imm, but he
didnt go out there and call everyone to the masjid for tarw. Shaykh Uthaymn said, If you
can pray the same amount with the same amount of khush and at the same level at home,
then it is better to pray at home. This is not the case with most people.
Benefits of Keeping Company

1. Opportunity to learn from and teach others
2. Exchanging benefits
3. Improving ones manners through experience. Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, They
are the people whose hearts were tested for true piety. Umar b. Al-Khab said, The
one who is tested is better than the one who is not tested. The one who is not tested is
like a zoo animal. If you put them in the wild, they are done because they havent been
tested by the wilderness.
4. Enjoying the company of others
5. Performing righteous deeds that require interaction
There are some deeds that can only be done through interaction with people.
6. Developing modesty and humility through dealing with others. It is easy for us to say
that we are humble to Allh (subnahu wa tala). You prove your humility to Allh
(subnahu wa tala) whenever you are willing to humble yourself to a human being
who is in front of you and is at your level. When you can humble yourself to a human
being, then you are humble to Allh (subnahu wa tala).
Even if you like good company, dont become dependent on it. Abdullh b. Masd, You
should get used to the idea that if everyone on earth disbelieved, you would not allow yourself
to disbelieve.
How can you make companionship blessed?
Sometimes within families, talking about religion is awkward. Rarely do you hear a husband
and wife saying al-salmu alaykum to each other. Have family alaqahs and remember Allh
as a family together. Abdullh b. Umar narrates hundreds of aadth from his father saying, I
heard my father say or I was sitting with my father when he said this. Talk about dn within
the house and with your friends. Dont make it something that is awkward. Make it something
that is common. In al-Tabarni, there is a narration that whenever two companions of the
Messenger would meet, they would not leave without reciting Sratl-Ar and then one would
say salm to the other. Imagine if we started to apply that with our friends amongst each
other. Every time we leave, one of us recites that to each other. Even when you get off the
phone, recite it to each other. Write this down as an action item. Remind each other of Allh
(subnahu wa tala).
A Share of Meaningful Obligatory Prayers
How can you use alh to discipline your soul?

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Recite, [O Muammad], what has been revealed to you of the Book and establish prayer.
Indeed, prayer prohibits immorality and wrongdoing, and the remembrance of Allh is
greater. And Allh knows that which you do. (al-Ankabt: 45)
Uthmn b. Affn reports that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If the time for a
prescribed alh comes, and a Muslim performs ablution properly, (and then offers his alh)
with humility and bowing, it will be an expiation for his past sins, so long as he has not
committed a major sin, and this is applicable to all times. (Muslim)
Meaningful Prayer
Consciousness
Allh said, Verily, prayer prohibits one from wrongdoing. Imagine feeling like your alh
was a conversation with Allh. Would you be able to rush your alh if you are on Facebook?
Honestly give each of the five alawt their due. Allh (subnahu wa tala) says in adth qudsi:
My servant does not come close to Me with anything other than the mandatory actions. It
starts with the prayer. Use it to remind you of Allh. There is no way you can talk to Allh five
times a day and then do those things you are going to do. You would not be able to backbite.
When you engage in a dialogue with Allh, it will stop you from doing those things naturally.
Reflection on the words
Know the basic meanings of what you say in alh. Memorize the translation. You arent
supposed to just stare at the carpet in the alh. The words that are being said are supposed to
humble you.
Glorification of the words
Think about the words and reflect on them, and find the yt that apply to you. Recite in your
alh the yt that you love most.
The companions complained that there was a man who would recite Sratl-Ikhl in every
rakah. He told the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) that he loved these words. Find those
yt and verses that really shake you up, even if it is in the middle of a srah. Keep reading
these in your alh and reflect on them.

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Contemplating each action
When you say Allhu akbar, you are saying Allh is Greater than whatever it is that you
brought to your alh. You contemplate each action. Malcolm X said that he was not able to
bring himself to do sujd at first, but once he did it, it was the best thing he did in his life. Once
he put himself down in sujd, he never wanted to get back up because he understood the
meaning. What are you doing with your face on the ground saying Glory be to Allh, the Most
High?
Pre and Post alh
The five minutes before alh can make or break your alh. If you pray after talking on the
phone or watching TV, your alh will not have khush. You have to have a few minutes
before alh as me time. Think about Allh (subnahu wa tala). Al-asan al-Bari said
that a person in the masjid should not look around before the alh. In the few minutes
before alh, remember Allh.
Clean up the area around you and make it a place that is appropriate for prayer.
Take your best clothes to the prayer.
Perfume yourself.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If it wasnt a hardship for my ummah, I would
order them to use the miswk before the alh.
Defining Khush
What is the meaning of the word khush? On the Day of Judgment, Allh (subnahu wa tala)
says, The voices become silent to Al-Ramn. Allh used the word khashiyah, which is a
different type of silence. When Allh says this, he is saying that when the people stand before
Allh on the Day of Judgment and see the scene of the Day of Judgment, they are not thinking
of anything else. It is internal silence. The linguistic meaning of khush is absolute, internal
silence.
Sometimes you are downloading too much into your brain and heart. You need to gain
complete silence. The first thing to do is gain external silence. When you go into the alh and
say, Allhu akbar, you realize that it is a dialogue between you and Allh.
Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said, If the person goes into the alh and then turns away (his heart
turns away, his mind or thoughts turn away), Allh (subnahu wa tala) says, O My servant,
where are you going? To something better than Me? SubnAllh. Where are you turning to?
Align yourself to think of Allh. Before you start your alh, stand there and think that you
are about to talk to Allh. Then go into the alh and start reciting Sratl-Ftiah.
Imagine how insulting it is when you are doing the motions of alh and Allh is offering you
attention and you are not offering Allh your attention.
Imm Ibn al-Qayyim said that there are five categories of people in regard to their prayer:

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1. Those who are unjust with themselves. They have wasted their alh by not completing
the proper pillars and by not praying on time. Their alh is worthless.
2. Those who perform the prayer in its correct hours, and they complete its technical
requirements, but they are unable to strive against themselves and against the
whispers of Shayn, so their mind is occupied by other things. It is all form and no
substance.
3. Those who maintain its pillars and its correctness and strive against themselves and
the whispers of Shayn. They are busy throughout the alh striving against the
whispers and themselves. This person is engaged in jihd. He is not tasting khush yet
but is fighting Shayn.
4. Those who whenever they enter the alh, they perfect its duties and their heart is
focused on perfecting the alh. They make sure that they dont waste a single portion
of the alh and fulfill all of its internal and external requirements.
5. Those who when they enter into the alh, they place their hearts into the Hands of
Allh (subnahu wa tala), staring at the Creator through their hearts, filled with love
for Him. They have gone beyond fighting the whispers and themselves. The only thing
beloved to them at that moment is the alh. They are immersed in the alh. This is
the category of isn: worshipping Allh as if you can see Him, and if you cant see Him,
then know that He sees you.
The first category of people is those who are punished. The second category of people is those
who are questionable Allh may or may not forgive them. The third category of people is
those who are forgiven. The fourth category of people is those who are rewarded and
forgiven. The fifth category are the awliyah (beloved friends) of Allh (subnahu wa tala).
The example of Urwah b. al-Zubayr: When he prayed, the birds would stand on his head and
shoulders. He had to have his leg amputated, and they wanted to intoxicate him to remove it,
but he told them to wait until fajr prayer and cut it off when he was in prayer.
When Abdullh b. al-Zubayr was praying next to the Kabah and it caught fire, his clothes
caught fire and didnt notice. The people started extinguishing the fire on him.
alh is your stress relief. It is what you look forward to. You ask yourself: when is the next
alh? It is the sweetest moment of your day.
A practical way on how to achieve khush in alh:
Al-tim b. im (raimahullh) was one of the tabin. He was asked, How do you attain
tranquility in your prayer? We see you so engulfed. How do you reach that level? He said,
Before I start, I imagine the ir (bridge over Hellfire) in front of me. I imagine Jannah is on
my right and Hellfire is on my left. I remember that the one who does not pray his alawt in
this world will be grabbed by a hook on the ir and have to make them up in Jahannam. Then
I imagine the angel of death is standing behind me, and I dont know when he is going to
attack. Then I imagine that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) is standing in front of me
to monitor the correctness of my alh. Then I remember that Allh, Who created all of that, is
monitoring me. Then I start.

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Pray your alh on time and plan around it
Plan your daily schedule around your alh. There are 20 pages in each juz of the Qurn. If
you read two pages before and after each alh, then you would finish a juz every day. The
abah were so keen on maintaining the alh.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) tells us about the coming of al-Dajjl. He said that one
day will be like a year and one day will be like a month and one day like a week. The first
question the abah asked was, How will we pray during those days? The Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said, You estimate based on your regular times. They were that concerned.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, When the believer is sat up in the grave, the first
thing he says is that he needs to pray the alh.
Some people are programmed for alh. ishah (rayAllhu anha) said, When the time for
fajr would come, the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) would jump out of the bed (even
though he prayed all night). I never told him to stand up.
A Share of Voluntary Prayers
There are three categories of voluntary prayers:
1. Sunan Rtibah: the voluntary prayers that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) never
left. For example: 2 rakahs before fajr, 4 rakahs before uhr, 4 rakahs after uhr, 2 rakahs
after maghrib, 2 rakahs after ish. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) also never
abandoned the witr prayer.
2. Mustaabbt: Recommended prayers that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) did
sometimes and left at other times. Example: 4 rakahs before ar sometimes he did it and
sometimes he did not. (There is some basis in the Sunnah for these).
3. Taawwut: Pure voluntary prayers. These can be done at any time prayer is permissible.
Allh is so generous and merciful to us. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said in an
authentic adth in al-Tirmidhi: On the Day of Judgment, the first thing you will be asked
about is your prayer. If your prayer is deficient, Allh will ask for your voluntary prayers.
Allh will patch up your mandatory prayers with your voluntary prayers. Then you will be
asked about your fasting. The deficiencies are made up with the voluntary days. Allh patches
up our deficiencies for us.
If you can incorporate just the Sunan Rtibah and the two rakahs of ua prayer (after the sun
rises) and the witr prayer, you are good. There are 17 rakahs in mandatory prayer every day.
The sunan rtibah + 2 rakahs of ua prayer + witr = 17. If you can learn to have the mandatory
prayers equal in voluntary prayers, then Allh will use them to patch up your prayers.

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A Share of Qiym
If someone suspects that he cant pray qiyml-layl in the later portion of the night, then he can
pray in the early part of the night before he sleeps. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, Whoever of you fears that he cannot wake up in the latter part of the night, he should
pray witr before sleeping. And whoever of you believes that he will be able to wake during the
latter portion of the night, he should make the witr prayer during that latter portion as it is a
blessed time. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) asked Abu Bakr when he prays witr, and
Abu Bakr said, In the early portion of the night after the night prayer. He (allallhu alayhi
wa sallam) then asked Umar, and Umar said, During the latter portion of the night. He
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) then said, As for you Abu Bakr, you have taken the careful way. As
for you, Umar, you have taken the way of hardship and firm will. And both of you are
rewarded.
If you miss witr, then you make it up. Ibn Abbs was seen praying witr immediately after
altl-fajr.
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, If a person makes the intention to wake up for alh
at night and doesnt wake up, he gets the full reward for praying at night, and the sleep was a
adaqah from Allh. (Muslim)
Al-asan al-Bari was asked, How is it that those who observe qiyml-layl are among the
people with the most beautiful faces? To this he replied, Because they commune with the
Most Merciful, and He clothes them in light from His light.
How can I start praying qiym?
Ibn Abbs said the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Perform qiym at the night even
if it is just one rakah.
1. Intention
2. Determination
3. Repentance. Sufyn al-Thawri said, Dont disobey Him during the day and you will be
able to worship Him during the night. I was forbidden from praying qiyml-layl for six
months because of a sin I was committing. The sins can keep you asleep.
4. Kick the bad habits
5. Sleep early
6. Take a nap sometime in the day (particularly around uhr time)
7. Go easy on the Biryani! If you eat heavy before you sleep, it is harder to wake up.
8. Understand only Allh wakes you up. Make du to Allh to wake you up.
9. Read about the merits
10. Set your alarm in a place far away in the room and kill the Shayn button (common
sense)
11. Get your family involved

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Find a way to pray as much as you can. Whenever the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
would start his qiym, he would start with short rakahs. It was a warm-up. When Ibn Abbs
would wake up, he would pray two short rakahs and then make it longer.
A Share of Recitation and Memorization of the Qurn

Then do they not reflect upon the Qurn, or are there locks upon [their] hearts? (Muammad:
24)
Mujhid said, The heart is like this (palm extended). You commit one sin (he moved the
thumb in into his palm) and then you commit another sin (he moved a finger into his palm)
and another one and another one and another one and then the heart becomes locked. You
need to purify the heart.
Uthmn b. Affn reports that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The
best of you is the one who learns the Qurn and teaches it. (al-Bukhri)
Anas (rayAllhu anhu) reports that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Surely, Allh,
Most High, has chosen some people (to be His favorite servants), It was said, Who are those
people, O Messenger of Allh? The People of the Qurn, said the Messenger of Allh, and he
added, They are the (favorite) people of Allh. (al-Nasi)
This is the easiest way to discipline yourself. Get in the process of memorizing Qurn. Your
life completely changes because everyday you have a goal that you are trying to achieve. Set a
daily goal of memorizing a few yt. Stay in the gardens of the Qurn throughout the day as
much as possible.
If you read four pages of Qurn with every alh, then you will finish the Qurn every month.
Sufyn b. Uyaynah said the salaf used to consider a person a hypocrite if they didnt finish the
Qurn in a month. Dont wait until the last day of the month and then say that you need to
finish the Qurn.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, There is a time behind you that will be devoid of
blessing. For them, a day will be like an hour, a week will be like a day, a month will be like a
week, and a year will be like a month. Time shrinks and you dont have barakah and blessing
in the time anymore. Its amazing how the people before used to be so productive and read so
much Qurn.
The one srah you need to read every night before you sleep is Sratl-Mulk. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whoever recites it every night will be protected from the
punishment of the grave.

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With qiyml-layl and dhikr, ishah (rayAllhu anha) said that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) would pray those rakahs he missed between ua and zawl if he had been sick.
When reciting the Glorious Qurn, reflect upon the Glory of the Speaker!
Why doesnt it affect me?
What can I do to benefit from it?
What if I dont understand it?
Zayd b. Thbit said, We ate sur with the Messenger of Allh, then we stood for the alh. I
(Anas) said, How long was that? He said, About the lengthy of fifty yahs. (Tirmidhi)
Try to finish a juz of Qurn a day.
Never will you attain the good [reward] until you spend [in the way of Allh] from that which
you love. And whatever you spend - indeed, Allh is Knowing of it. (le-Imrn: 92)
Narrated Abu Hurayrah: The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Charity is obligatory
everyday on every joint of a human being. If one helps a person in matters concerning his
riding animal by helping him to ride it or by lifting his luggage on to it, all this will be regarded
charity. A good word, and every step one takes to offer the compulsory congregational prayer,
is regarded as charity; and guiding somebody on the road is regarded as charity.
What if my charity was given to one undeserving? Dont be sad because the Prophet (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) has some news for you. (Muslim)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said charity is due on a person every day. The Prophet
(allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Whoever constructs a small well, no one would drink from it
except that Allh will reward you from it on the Day of Judgment. He also said, If you are
planting a plant and the Day of Judgment comes, finish planting your plant.
Imagine if you could ask the most righteous person in the world, Shaykh, I want you to make
du for me every single day. He asks for your name and says he will. Now imagine the angels
making du for you. Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Every day the angels say, O
Allh, reward the one who gave and hold back from the one who held back.
Every day, put something in your bottle and when it is full, give it away in adaqah. You have
just guaranteed the du of the angels every day of your life, inshAllh.
How much can I accomplish in a day?
Imagine the reward of:

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1. Praying fajr and ish in the masjid.

The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, The one who prays ish in jamaah, it is as if
he prayed the first half of the night in qiyaml-layl. The one who prays fajr in jamaah, it is as
if he prayed the second half of the night in qiyaml-layl. Imm Ibn al-Qayyim says she gets
the same reward as long as she makes the intention before alh. Whenever a traveler
travels, if he prays two rakahs, it is more rewardable because it is the proper intention.
2. Praying ua
If a person remembers Allh after their fajr prayer until the time of ua and then prays 2
rakahs, a full ajj will be written for him.
He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Charity is required from every part of your body daily.
Saying subnAllh is a charity. Saying alamdulillh is a charity. Saying Allhu akbar is
a charity. Commanding the good is a charity. Forbidding evil is a charity. What suffices
for all of that is 2 rakahs that you pray in ua.
3. Doing tasb after alh
Amr b. Al- narrated that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, After the alh, if
a person says subnAllh ten times and alamdulillh ten times and Allhu akbar ten times
after all five of his prayers, then 150 on his tongue and 1,500 good deeds on his scale. If at
night before he sleeps he says subnAllh 33 times, alamdulillh 33 times, and Allhu akbar
34 times, it is 100 on the tongue, 1,000 on the scale. Who amongst you commits 2,500 sins a
day?
4. Praying just 2 rakahs of qiym
adth of Anas: Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Prayer in my masjid is equal to
10,000 prayers elsewhere. Prayer in Masjidl-arm in Makkah is equal to 100,000 prayers
elsewhere. Prayer in the battlefield is equal to one million prayers elsewhere. What is
more beloved to Allh than all of that is 2 rakahs in the middle of the night.
From Ibn Mjah: Whoever prays qiym with 10 yahs, he will never be written as those
who are heedless. Whoever stands up and prays with 100 yt will be written from those
who are standing in prayer. Whoever wants to stand and pray with 1000 yt will be
written with Allh as those who are piling up good deeds.
Start with 2 rakahs before you sleep. Read Sratl-Falaq and Sratl-Ns and it will be
sufficient to not be written amongst those who are heedless.

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5. Saying the du after wu

The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, No one does wu and then says
except that all of the gates of Jannah will be opened and he can enter from whichever gate
he chooses. (Muslim)
6. Saying the du of the marketplace
Whoever says
upon entering the marketplace, Allh will write for him one million asant and will erase
from him one million evil deeds and will build for him a house in Paradise.

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Chapter 8 | The Weekly Wird

Components of a Fruitful Jumuah Experience
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
Starting on Thursday night with Sratl-Kahf, cleaning, alawt

Ghusl
Beautifying yourself and using the miswk
Walking to the masjid
Going as early as possible
Avoiding stepping over people
Avoiding walking in front of the worshippers
Praying in the first row
Repeat the dhn
Listen attentively
Pray sunnah afterwards
Stay in the mosque until ar
Look for the hour
Zayn al-Abidn was in sujd in alh. He didnt raise his head until the fire went out, and when
he was asked about this, he said, The other fire kept my mind occupied.
Sratl-Kahf
Read it on the night of Thursday or on the day of Friday.
It was narrated that Ibn Umar (rayAllhu anhu) said: The Messenger of Allh (allallhu
alayhi wa sallam) said: Whoever reads Sratl-Kahf on the day of Jumuah, a light will shine for
him from beneath his feet to the clouds of the sky, which will shine for him on the Day of
Resurrection, and he will be forgiven (his sins) between the two Fridays. (Mundhiri)
Fasting Mondays and Thursdays
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, The deeds are presented on Monday and Thursday, so I love that my deeds be
presented while I am fasting. (al-Tirmidhi)
Start applying the days of fasting, especially right after Raman when you are still in the
habit. This is golden time. You are already used to fasting, so take advantage of it.
Send alawt on the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) on Friday (the night of Thursday).
Also, on the day of Friday, look for the hour. The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
There is an hour on Friday that if a servant calls upon Allh, he will surely be answered.
Some narrations it is while the imm is sitting down in Jumuah and other narrations indicate it
is the last hour before maghrib. Some scholars say it switches. The abah took Friday as a
weekly d. They were able to go out with their family and do things. It was a special day.

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Chapter 9 | The Monthly Wird

Make a planner for yourself on what you need to do in a week, a month, and one day, and one
year.
Fasting the white days: 13th, 14th, and 15th of every single month.
Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) took a covenant from him for three: To not sleep except after performing witr, to fast
three days of every month, and to perform the ua prayer. (Tirmidhi)
Recognize what month you are in!
Pay attention and try to do something within that month. Make sure that you finish the
Qurn at least once a month.
Narrated Abu Bakra that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said. The division of time has
turned to its original form which was current when Allh created the Heavens and the Earths.
The year is of twelve months, out of which four months are sacred: Three are in succession
Dhul-Qadah, Dhul-ijjah and Muarram, and (the fourth is) Rajab of (the tribe of) Mudar which
comes between Jumdal-Thniyah and Shabn. (Bukhri)
Take advantage of the seasons. Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) said, Shall I not point you to
an easy reward? Fasting in the winter. The abah loved to fast in the winter because it was
easy.
Ubayd b. Umayyad said that when the winter came, they would say, O people of the Qurn,
the night has become long so you can pray longer, and the day has become short so you can
fast.
How much Qurn should I have finished?
Once a month? Twice a month? Once a week?

Push yourself and start increasing the load.

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Chapter 10 | The Yearly Wird

Raman
Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) once said mn three times, and the abah asked him
why he said that. He (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Jibrl was making du. He made du
against the person who Raman comes and goes and he isnt forgiven for his sins and he
doesnt change his habits. Take full advantage of Raman and prepare for it. The abah
used to get excited six months in advance. They are planning and waiting for it. For other
people, they start getting into Raman towards the end and by the time they start getting into
it, it is already over. Start preparing for Raman as much as you can early on.
Narrated Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu): The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh
said, The fast is for Me and I will give the reward for it, as he (the one who observes the fast)
leaves his sexual desire, food and drink for My Sake. Fasting is a screen (from Hell) and there
are two pleasures for a fasting person, one at the time of breaking his fast, and the other at the
time when he will meet his Lord. And the smell of the mouth of a fasting person is better in
Allhs Sight than the smell of musk. (Bukhri)
Narrated Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) that Allhs Apostle (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
When the month of Raman comes, the gates of Paradise are opened and the gates of the
(Hell) Fire are closed, and the devils are chained. (Bukhri)
Components of a Fruitful Fast

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
Sur
Break it as soon as the sun has set with dates
Generosity
More good deeds
More charity
More Qurn
Itikf the last 10 nights
Degrees of Fasting
1. Ordinary Fasting
2. Special Fasting
3. Extra-Special Fasting
a. Lower your gaze
b. Guard your tongue
c. Guard your ears
d. Keep your limbs pure
e. Once again: Easy on the Biryani!
So how do we achieve taqwa?

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The 6 days of Shawwl

Abu Ayyb (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said: Whoever fasts Raman, then follows it with six from Shawwl, then that is (equal in
reward) to fasting everyday. (Tirmidhi)
Imm Mlik said that it can mean six from Shawwl itself or it can be mean six days starting
from Shawwl, meaning starting from Shawwl until Raman. Imm Mlik said that he never
saw the people of Madnah rushing to finish six days in the month of Shawwl itself and that it
meant that you do six days of voluntary fasting during the rest of the year on top of Raman.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said that every good deed is multiplied by ten, so then
you have one month worth of fasting, which covers ten months, and then you fast for six days
which covers the remaining days of the year. This is a mercy for those who cannot finish those
days in Shawwl for whatever reason.
Try to fast them right away if you have the opportunity because if you dont do them right
away, you probably never will.
Can you combine intentions between voluntary fasts? Yes. If you decide to fast every Monday
and Thursday, then you can combine the intention of the six fasts with Monday and Thursday.
The fasting of Araft, shr
Abu Qatdah (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
Fast the Day of Araft, for indeed I anticipate that Allh will forgive (the sins) of the year after
it, and the year before it. (Tirmidhi)
Abu Qatdah (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said:
Fast the Day of shr, for indeed I anticipate that Allh will forgive (the sins of) the year
before it. (Tirmidhi)
Someone may ask: Why do I need to fast on shr if I already fasted on Araft?
Answer: Araft is from Dhul-ijjah which is the last month in the Islamic calendar. If you fast
Araft in Dhul-ijjah 1433, the reward is that the sins of the previous and upcoming years have
been forgiven. shr is in Muarram, which is the first month of the Islamic calendar.
shr coming up will be 1434, and the reward is the preceding year has been forgiven. When
you fast Araft in 1433, you took care of 1432 and 1434. When you fast shr 1434, the
reward is taking care of the previous year 1433. Three years in two days.

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Zakh
People have the misconception that if they pay enough charity, then they dont have to worry
about zakh. You have to intend for your zakh. The companions used to prefer to give in
Raman and called it sharl-zakh.
Its Effect on the Individual and on Society
It was narrated from Abdl-Ramn b. Ghanm that Abu Mlik al-Ashari told him that the
Messenger of Allh said, Ibghl-wud is half of faith; alamdulillh (praise be to Allh) fills the
balance; the tasb and the takbr fill the heavens and Earth; the alh is light; the zakh is a sign
(of sincerity); patience is an illuminating torch; and the Qurn is proof, either for you or
against you. (al-Nasi)
Enhancing Your Zakh Experience

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
Understand its significance

Give it in secret
Avoid taunting or harming people
Show humbleness
Pay it from what is good
Look for the best recipient
a. Righteousness
b. People of knowledge
c. People of pure tawhd
d. People who dont ask
e. Large families or handicap
f. The closest of kin come first
It was narrated from Salmn b. mir that the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Giving
charity to a poor person is charity, and (giving) to a relative is two things, charity and
upholding the ties of kinship. (al-Nasi)
The 10 Days of Dhul-ijjah
Ibn Abbs (rayAllhu anhu) narrated that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam)
said, There are no days in which righteous deeds are more beloved to Allh than those ten
days. They said, O Messenger of Allh! Not even jihd in Allh Cause? The Messenger of
Allh said, Not even jihd in Allhs Cause, unless a man were to out with his self and his
wealth and not return from that with anything. (Tirmidhi)
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Allh has blessed the time of my nation in the
early part of the day. You are much more productive after fajr because Allh put barakah in
your time. In Sratl-Fajr, Allh swore by the most productive time of the year (the 10 days of
Dhul-ijjah) and then Allh said by the night when it fleets away. In Raman, you are more
productive.

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These 10 days of Dhul-ijjah are more beloved to Allh than any 10 days in Raman. Take
advantage of those ten days of the year. If you have the means, make a sacrifice if you have
the means. From the beginning to end of Dhul-ijjah, if you are going to make a sacrifice, you
cannot shave, cut your hair, or clip your nails. You cannot do these things until your sacrifice
has been done. Al-Shawkni said, This is your way of participating with those on ajj. Also, it
is a sign that everything of your body has been ransomed form Hellfire. You keep your body
in its natural form as a way of ransoming yourself to Allh (subnahu wa tala).

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Chapter 11 | Once In A Lifetime (ajj)

Umar b. al-Khab said, Whoever has the means to go to ajj but does not go to ajj, let him
die as a Jew or a Christian if he wants. If you have the means and are financially and
physically able to go, then you go.
Americans whine more than anyone else at ajj. How sad would it be if you go to ajj, the once
in a lifetime journey, and you waste the opportunity. Dont waste the opportunity!
Before You Go
1.
2.
3.
4.
Tawbah
Repay debts
Dont leave your family struggling
Make amends with people. Allh will not accept your good deeds because of a quarrel you
had with your brother or sister, so then what would be the point of going?
5. Know your stuff
6. Choose good company. If everyone else is whining, then you feel entitled to.
Inner Meanings of the Mansik
1. Departure. You are preparing yourself for the journey of death. When a person departs, he
should feel as though he is leaving this world.
2. Irm. When a person goes into irm, recognize that you are wearing the shrouds of death
a. For the ajji
b. For the non-ajji in the first 10 days of Dhul-ijjah
3. Talbiyah. Feel like you are answering the call of Allh on the Day of Judgment.
4. Entering the aram. You should feel like you have entered into the presence of Allh.
5. The Lord of the House
6. The Black Stone. When touching it, feel like you are making allegiance to Allh.
7. al-Multazam. Feel like you are drawing close to your Lord and yearning for Him.
8. awf. Realize that Allh is at the center of your life and you go the way Allh tells you.
9. Say. Remember the struggle of Hajar running between the two hills and never losing trust
in Allh. This is all that life is. The point you start at is the point where you will finish. As
long as you remain trusting in Allh, Allh will take care of him.
10. Arafah. Remember the Day of Judgment when Allh speaks to every individual without any
translator. Millions are making du in hundreds of languages, and Allh is answering all of
them.
11. Ramy. Remember that these are the places where Ibrhm (alayhil-salm) and his family
were tempted by the Shayn.
12. Madnah. Feel as if you are entering into the presence of the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam). Remember that this is where he sat, spoke, stood, ate, did khubah, led alh.
Envision the Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) and the abah around him. Imm Mlik
would only walk barefoot in Madnah out of how humbled he felt to be in that city.

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Qualities of the ajji

1. Slave not master. Most people form the US ruin their ajj. Dont be one of those people.
As a slave, you completely forfeit any rights to the master. When you get there, have no
expectations whatsoever. Dont care about what happens but just be happy that you are
there. People travel by bike and foot to reach ajj. Some people have to figure out their
food on a daily basis, and they feel honored to be there.
2. Guest not host. A guest doesnt feel entitled to anything unless the host decides to give it
to you. Deal with your travel agency after ajj but not while you are there.
3. ajji not tourist. One of the greatest tragedies Shaykh Omar witnessed was when the Saudi
authorities allowed people to take pictures everywhere. Everyone wants to take their
picture in the aram. People sit there and take 40 pictures in the aram and the rest of the
time shopping. This is your once in a lifetime chance to get it right.
Abdullh b. Mubrak has a touching story. He would make ajj one year and jihd the other
year. One year when he was in ajj, he had a dream that two angels were talking to each other
and saying, Do you see all these people coming to ajj? Allh has not accepted from a single
one of them, and all of their ajj went to waste. He woke up scared. Then he slept and he
dreamt, Allh accepted the ajj of all of them because of a man named Ali b. Mufiq. He was
a shoe repairman who had saved to go to ajj. His neighbor fell into poverty, so he gave all the
money to his neighbor and made du to Allh to accept. It is all about your intention.
Make du: O Allh, I want to go, facilitate the means.
How badly do you want to go to ajj?
How badly do you want it to be accepted?

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Final Note: Overwhelmed?

Abu Hurayrah (rayAllhu anhu) reported that the Messenger of Allh (allallhu alayhi wa
sallam) said, One who weeps out of fear of Allh, will not enter the Hell until milk returns back
in the udder; and the dust raised on account of fighting in the path of Allh and the smoke of
Hell will never exist together. (Tirmidhi)
Cry over your situation. Shed tears tonight. Cry! Raslullh (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said,
There are two eyes that will never touch the Hellfire. One of them is the eye that shed tears
for the sake of Allh. Abu Bakr said, Even when you are not able to cry when you are making
du, try to force yourself to cry. Make your face as if you are crying until it becomes real.
The Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) was asked, What are the keys to survival? The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, Hold your tongue, cry over your sins, feel comfort in
your home (have a portion of solitude). You need to cry.
We cry over movies we know are not real and watch television and shed tears, but we dont
shed tears over our possibility of being doomed for eternity? This is a problem! Force yourself
to feel sorry and cry. Try to make the changes.
Do not stand [for prayer] within it - ever. A mosque founded on righteousness from the first
day is more worthy for you to stand in. Within it are men who love to purify themselves; and
Allh loves those who purify themselves. (al-Tawbah: 108)
Allh says, Allh loves those who engage in the process of spiritual purification. Al-Qushayri
says Allh loves you just for trying. As long as you are trying and engaged in the process of
spiritual purification, Allh loves you for that.
YouTube Video:
The Description of Paradise (Jannah)
The other way to get the angels to make du for you is to make du for your brother. The
Prophet (allallhu alayhi wa sallam) said, When you make du for your brother or sister
behind his back, the angels say, mn. And for you the same.
Many of us will feel a spiritual high now and it may wear off. Dont lose hope. Start off with
realistic goals. Start with the basics, and inshAllh you will see the change and rise.

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