TheSkimmseum: Stop!

In the
Name of Love, Before You
Break My Art
POSTED ON MARCH 6, 2015

Welcome to theSkimmseum. Weve skimmed the news around the museum, and
want to share the highlights with you.
Skimmd while hoping for a snow day.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
Have a heart that never hardens, and a temper that never tires, and a touch
that never hurts. Charles Dickens, Hard Times

THIS ISNT A PETTING ZOO

THE STORY
Are you having trouble sleeping at night? When you close your eyes, do you see
hands mercilessly molesting masterpieces by Manet? Do you wake up in a cold
sweat, muttering, Please, dont touch the art. Be careful of the art! Please
stand a little further from the art? If this is you, its very possible that you, or
someone you know, works at or frequents an art gallery. Ever since you were a
little child roaming these sacred halls on a field trip, youve known that you
are not allowed to touch the art. But have you ever stopped and asked yourself
why? Is it because its expensive and not yours? Yes. Are there other reasons?
YES.

JUST TELL US THE OTHER REASONS ALREADY.

Art can be enjoyed and appreciated in so many ways, but, like any other valuable
thing, it must be carefully protected. As annoying as it might be to constantly
have someone telling you not to touch something, or to move away from
something, imagine your horror if the unthinkable happened and you actually
ended up causing some serious damage? Because, lets face it. There are so
many thinks that could be easily destroyed in an art museum. Nobody wants to
be a Mr. Flynn. It was just an accident (cough, $110,000 accident). This is a guy
who was so incredibly clumsy that the museum was actually a little concerned
that he was a criminal for a while. Failing to lace your shoes properly to the point
of nearing criminal activity is not a prized achievement for anyone.
Unfortunately, Mr. Flynn isnt alone. His little incident is overshadowed by the
time a student at the Metropolitan Museum in New York lost her balance and
tripped, falling into a $130,000,000 Picasso. I spelled it out with all the zeros for
emphasis. I havent found any sources to verify my belief that she was named
the Worst Art Student of 2010, but Im sure Im correct. But maybe its the
museums fault. Maybe museum staff need to have a check point at the entrance

where we go along and tighten everyones shoelaces and feed them a granola
bar so they dont get lightheaded. Just a thought.

CRASHING INTO ART IS ONE THING BUT JUST

TOUCHING?
We touched on this (HAHA GET IT?) for a moment last week. We gave you a song
to sing while wandering through the museum (maybe we should make a
playlist?), but we didnt really give you the specifics and reasons for not touching
the art. First of all, youve probably heard before that we have oils in our
hands that can damage old stuff. This is a bad reason to refuse to hold your
grandmas hand, but its a really good reason not to touch a Renoir. Preserving
art in the best condition possible isnt about keeping art away from you; its
about keeping art for you. And your kids. And your kids kids. If we take good
care of it, well be able to enjoy it for generations. Just like your parents used to
say, were only doing this because we love you.

SO NUTSHELL VERSION?
We are not so much touched by your concern, as we are concerned by your
touch. *drops mic*

REPEAT AFTER ME
WHAT TO SAY IF YOU THINK TWO PEOPLE TRIPPING
ISNT CAUSE TO HAVE OUR SKIVVIES IN A BUNCH
12-year-old sticks gum onto 1.5M painting. Thats the headline from
an article about the time a 12-year-old stuck his gum onto a 1.5M painting.
Another time, a visitor at a different museum got a little too close and snagged
his clothing on the art. When he walked away, the $2,000 work walked away with
himright into the ground. Well keep our knickers bunched for now, thanks.

WHAT TO SAY IF MODERN ART MAKES YOU SICK

This kid in England knows how you feel. He must have chugged one-too-many
juice boxes on his way to the Tate Britain in London, because by the time they got
to Carl Andres Venus Forge, he vomited all over it.Venus Forge at auction? $2.6
million. Raising your hand and asking where the bathroom is? Priceless.

WHAT TO SAY IF YOU GET HUNGRY WHILE BROWSING

Is this food or art? While some culinary masters might argue that their food is art,
museum staff hope that our patrons have the wisdom to differentiate between
artistic food and food that is art. Unfortunately, the staff at The National Gallery
of Modern Art in Edinburgh misplaced their trust in one museum visitor. Heres
the deal: it was a piece of art created to look like a bafflingly realistic bag of
doughnuts. Too realistic. So baffling. Long story short, someone took a doughnut.
We dont know who did it; we dont know why. We just really hope they were
terribly disappointed when they dipped it in their coffee.

THINGS TO KNOW
THE COLLECTIONS
Hennagin: This is not the beer youre thinking of. This collection features
many prominent photographers, including Edward Weston, Paul Caponigro, Laura
Gilpin and Henri Cartier-Bresson. The Carol Beesley Hennagin collection is proof
that great photographs can be found everywhere. Beginning with her days as a
graduate student at UCLA, where she studied with the late Robert Heinecken
(Seriously, youre thinking about beer again? Thats not even how its spelled.) in
the early 1970s, and continuing with her turn to serious collecting in the 1980s,
Beesley has zealously pursued her love of photography.
Weitzenhoffer Collection: Im not even going to make a joke, because reality is
too neat. This is the single most important collection of French Impressionism
ever given to an American public university. Yeah, I know. Pretty cool. This
collection is the celebrity pack, including artists like Degas, Gauguin, Monet,
Pissarro, Renoir, Toulouse-Lautrec, Van Gogh, Vuillard, and others. In other words,
all the amazing artists who are so good they even have name recognition with us
laypeople who know nothing about art. The donation came to the University of
Oklahoma at the bequest of Clara Weitzenhoffer, an art collector and long-time
supporter of the university.
Ambassador George Crews and Cecilia DeGoyler McGhee
Collection: Theres going to be a quiz tomorrow and youre expected to
remember this whole collection title. Just kidding. But if you did, we would all be
very impressed. This is a collection of stunning icons, gifted to us by the
aforementioned Ambassador and Mrs. Georg Crew McGhee. Icons are made for
both the home and for inclusion in large altar screens in churches. The ones in
this collection are from Greece, Russia, Romania, and Asia Minor. Some date back
to the 16th century.
Check back next week for riveting descriptions of our other collections.