Essay 6, Biological/Social Clock

Growing up, I remember the idea of a social or biological clock. In

the South, if you were poor you usually married right out of high
school. If you happened to be fortunate enough to attend college
most girls were either engaged before graduation or dropped out to
get married. Either way 90% of the females in my high school class
were married and had at least one child by the age of 25. I did not
realize that fertility is at the highest level in the late teens and early
twenties. (Berger, pg 430)
Since I belonged in the 10% minority I really did not understand. I
did not feel pressured, either socially or biologically to follow
everyone else. After reading the text I feel I may have had what
they call a Choice Overload. (Berger,pg 419). There were just so
many experiences to have and people to date, was there someone
better ?
Around the age of 25 I felt a bit justified when many of my friends
became single again. especially those who had gotten married very
young. Often with children in tow and terrible experiences behind
them, I was the one who introduced them back into the single life.
Usually they would remarry within a year or two and I would again
wonder if I had a biological clock at all.
Looking back I now believe that when I finally did marry at the age
of thirty it was a societal clock or family clock. As an only child there
was inner pressure - never actual pressure from the family to
provide a grandchild.
This was when my long and heartbreaking battle with infertility
began. It took a really long time to accept the fact that I would
never have children because of a drug my mother was given before I
was even born. My husband and I decided that Iin the same way
that we could not have children, there are parents out there who
are unprepared or unwilling to be good parents. Being a foster
parent for quite a few special kids and being able to return them
when the parents were in a better place seemed to be a wonderful
solution. Although my marriage did not survive, the fact that there
are options open to me without children that may not be if I did
have children. like education and travel.
Although I am grateful to live in a society where a womans worth is not judged
by the amount of children she has. Indeed 15% of couples here in the United States
are infertile. (Berger, pg 431) I do still find myself being judged. Even more so since
moving to Utah where large families are the goal. I realize it is a religious influence,
and I respect that. I am still shocked when complete strangers question why I am
single and have no children. I have even been asked outright if I am homosexual !! I
still find this disturbing, not because of the homosexual remark but because
someone felt it was their right to ask. This is something that would never happen in
polite society down south. They would just speculate behind your back.

References
Berger, K.S. (2004), Invitation To The Lifespan, (2nd edition). New York,
N.Y. Worth Pub.