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" 13 Biblical Commands for Husbands by Tom Eads 1) Love your wife as Christ loved the church. Give yourself up for your wife. [Ephesians 5:25] This is the premier command for husbands and the verse that I roll around my head on a daily basis. Christ's love for the church was without reserve. He gave up everything for the church, even His very life! His love was extravagant and given before anyone in the church loved Him. His love was not dependant upon our love for Him. Likewise we must ask God for more creative ways that we can give ourselves up for our wives. This may mean a radical change in your thinking of how you serve God and do ministry. Any ministry that takes you away from your wife and leaves her thinking that your ministry is more important than her must be quit immediately. God created marriage first. Man created what we call "ministry". God wants us to love our wives and to serve Him and give ourselves to Him. Often times we are too busy doing other things to obey this cardinal command for husbands: Love your wife as Christ loved the Church. 2) Love your wife in the same way you love your body and yourself. [Ephesians 5:28-33] The Bible tells a husband to love his wife as his own body. Take a moment to analyze what you do for your body and how you feel about it. You provide physical care for your body throughout the day. Much of your happiness is dependant upon the health of your body. A sick body distracts your mind and energies. When your body has a need or an urge, you are quick to take care of it. Any sexual urge in your body is noted quickly and a desire springs forth to care for that urge. Likewise, a husband should care for his wife physically throughout the day, attending to her needs and providing for her financially. A husband must feel the pain of his wife's illness and rejoice in her health. A husband must learn his wife's sexual desires and move to meet those needs. Basically, whatever need or desire a wife may have, whether it be physical, spiritual, emotional, sexual, or relational must be met with the husband's full attention and effort. In this way he can serve her and love her as he does his own body. 3) Be considerate as you live with your wife. [I Peter 3:7] This is so important that the Bible says that if we neglect this command, our prayers will be hindered! Since the husband has authority over the wife, he must exercise this authority with extreme caution, lest he be accused of being a despot from time to time. Learn how to be considerate of your wife. If there are annoying habits that you are guilty of, quit them! When she needs to be treated like a lady and helped out of the car, or needs help carrying heavy items, do it! If she needs some time to herself to take a walk or sleep, take care of the house and family! Learn to serve your wife with all of your energy, pouring your love into her with all the understanding and consideration you can. Pray for help in seeing the blind spots in your life where you may be inconsiderate of your lovely wife. 4) Do not be harsh with your wife. [Colossians 3:19] Men, being the stronger of the marriage couple, tend to lean towards harshness from time to time. When a wife is living her God-given lady role, she will be sensitive. Realize that harsh answers, angry looks, irritated tones of voice and impatience will deeply affect your sensitive wife. Do not be further annoyed by her sensitivities, but rejoice that she is a lady and isn't like you! Don't be harsh with the precious gift God has given you.
5) Your body belongs to your wife. [I Corinthians 7:3-5] This passage is explicit that we are to use our bodies to please our wives sexually. We are NOT to deprive her of what she needs. Many women will never tell their husbands that they would like to orgasm and have intense pleasurable feelings during times of intimacy. Assume that she would like to orgasm and work diligently to please her. Ironically many men are trapped in situations where their wives are not providing for their sexual needs [and it is a sin for a woman to not provide for her husband's desires and needs] when their wives might become more interested in sex if their needs and desires were being met! With much practice, sharing, and time you can learn to make your wife feel as good, if not better, than you feel during sex! Remember, sex is something that is given, not taken. 6) Rejoice in your wife. Let her breasts satisfy you. Be captivated with her. [Proverbs 5:1819] No man should look at other women or pictures of other women when he has a wife whom he can gaze upon daily. [Women should of course provide for the visual needs of her husband by exposing herself to him often and in erotic ways. And women should strive to keep their bodies as attractive as possible, but not letting the world dictate what attractive means.] A husband should become fully satisfied with his naked wife. He should let her breasts completely satisfy him in every way. No matter what the size or shape, if a man will let it happen, and ask God to help him, he can grow to truly find his wife's breasts to be the most attractive and sexy breasts in the entire world. This is the true spirit of being captivated with your wife. Just think how your wife will feel when she truly knows that you find her to be the most wildly attractive woman in the world and you are nuts for her physical body! Such a wife will feel sexy, attractive, and most of all, ladylike. 7) Ensure that other men do not "enjoy" your wife in public places. [Proverbs 5:16] Encourage [or with a husband's authority, command] your wife to be very modest in public and erotic in private with you. A modest woman is a lady. There is much sin and temptation that results from women showing too much skin in public. Why show the world what should only be for your eyes? Just think of the pleasure of knowing that no one sees your wife's legs but you! When she wears a skimpy outfit for you, you see things that no one else ever does. You will be shocked at how this one maneuver will increase your feelings of masculinity and her feelings of femininity. 8) Do not be captivated by other women [Proverbs 5:20] Finding other women attractive and looking at them will erode your own view of your wife. And nothing good will come from that. You will be less satisfied with her and she will feel less special to you. And if you think you only look at women when she isn't around, you are mistaken. No man can build a habit of glances without subconsciously doing it in his wife's company. And she will notice. Remember to be captivated with your wife and no one else. She will feel like the Queen of the world and you will fall further in love with her. 9) Praise your wife. [Proverbs 31:28-29] Tell her that she is special. Tell her that she is greater than any other woman on earth. Be specific. Don't just mention her physical beauty, but her care for you, her hard work, and her
ladylike attributes. Watch the flower of your wife blossom as you repeatedly fill her ears with your praises. She longs for those words and she wants to hear them from you! If you make the other 12 points in this lesson a reality in your life, then when you praise your wife she will believe that she really is the most special woman alive. Of course we are not trying to cultivate pride here, because we all recognize our utter sinfulness, but that does not obviate the woman's need and longing to be treasured. 10) Tell your wife how captivated you are with her body [Song of Solomon, esp 4:7; 7:1-8] A true lover will make sure that his wife knows that he finds NO FLAW in her. Men, if you find a certain part of your wife unattractive and she knows it, she will be embarrassed of that part and it is your responsibility to gradually undo the damage you have done here. Fall in love with every single part of her body like Solomon did with his betrothed. God made your wife. God makes no mistakes. If you find a part of her body flawed, then it is your mind that needs to be changed. This does not let the wives off the hook to let their bodies go to pot! But it puts the responsibility upon the man to grow to love every part of his wife and then to sensually tell her how he feels. Think of how good she will feel when she truly believes that you are enamored with every part of her! 11) Honor your marriage; keep it pure by remaining true to your wife in every way [Heb 13:4] Jesus says that lustful looks are adultery [Matt 5:28]. Keep your marriage pure by training your heart and eyes to be solidly true to your wife. Your marriage will reap huge benefits if you do! 12) Be thankful for your wife and realize the favor you have received from God. [Prov 18:22] A wife is a blessing from God. Just think of how lonely you would be without a wife. Adam was alone and it wasn't good for him to be alone, so God gave him a wife. You have a lifetime companion, a friend, and a lover to enjoy every day. What a blessing!!!! Thank God for her daily. Pray for her. She is a tremendous gift from God. 13) Be "one flesh" with your wife in every way. [Matthew 19:5] Enjoy life with her as if you were inseparable. Do not do what most couples do and live together but lead separate lives. Long to be with her like you did when you first met. Rush home from work. Think about her during the day. Call her. Learn as a couple to agree on more and more issues. Be like minded. Enjoy intimacy and sex very often. You should have sex as often as is necessary to meet the desires of the spouse with the strongest sex drive. Spend a lot of time alone, just talking and sharing the day's events. Show a genuine interest in each other by listening intently, giving your full attention and eye contact. Your wife is more important than anything or anyone but Jesus Christ. Be one with your wife.