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Self Esteem

Self Esteem

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Published by k_09

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Categories:Types, School Work
Published by: k_09 on Mar 22, 2010
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‡ Understanding Self Esteem, its components and aspects.
‡ Importance of Self Esteem
‡ Development of Self Esteem
‡ Types of Self Esteem & their characteristics
‡ Implications of ͚Low Self Esteem͛
‡ Steps to raise one͛s Self Esteem
‡ Originally, self esteem was defined as a ratio found by
dividing one͛s successes in areas of life of importance
to a given individual by the failures in them or one͛s
success / pretentions.
‡ Self esteem reflects a person͛s overall evaluation or
appraisal of his / her own worth.
‡ It is the degree to which one values oneself.
‡ Self esteem is the stable sense of personal worth or
‡ Self esteem is the affirmation each person
gives to their own feelings, ideas and abilities.
‡ It is considered an important component of
emotional health.
‡ Self esteem is the disposition of experiencing
oneself as competent in coping with the basic
challenges of life and as being worthy of
‡ Self esteem is how we think and feel about
ourselves. It refers to how we think about the way
we look, our abilities, our relationships with others
and our hopes for the future.
‡ We are not born with self esteem, it is something
we develop when we get older.
‡ Self esteem is based on our inner feelings, not on
facts. Research has shown that there is often a
wide gap between how we are seen and how we
think we are seen.
‡ Self-efficacy : Self-efficacy may be described as the
confidence in the functioning of the mind, the ability to
think, understand, learn, choose, and make decisions;
confidence in the ability to understand the facts of
reality that fall within the sphere of one͛s interests
and needs; self-trust and self-reliance.
‡ Self-respect : Self-respect means the assurance of one͛s
value; an affirmative attitude towards one͛s right to
live and be happy; comfort in appropriately asserting
one͛s thoughts, wants and needs; the feeling that joy
and fulfillment are one͛s natural birthright.
‡ Self-acceptance : This means accepting all feelings, thoughts and acts
and being compassionate towards ourselves. Self-acceptance entails
our willingness to experienceͶthat is, to make real to ourselves
without denial or evasion.
‡ Self-love : Self-Love is at the center of one͛s Circle of Love. The
degree to which someone loves themselves will determine the
degree to which they are able to extend love to others and
ultimately to build healthy relationships with others.
‡ A positive self-image : Self-image refers to one͛s conception of
oneself or of one͛s role.
‡ The freedom to be ourselves : This entails the ability to think what
we want to think, feel how we want to feel, desire what we want to
desire, have done what we want to have done, and be what we are.
‡ You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your
love and affection.
-- Buddha.
‡ Too many people overvalue what they are not and undervalue what
they are.
-- Malcom Forbes.
‡ The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others.
-- Dr Sonya Friedman.
‡ Reflect on your present blessings, of which every man has many, not on
your past misfortunes, o f which all men have some.
-- Charles Dickens.
‡ Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.
-- Albert Einstein.
‡ Never bend your head. Always hold it high. Look the world straight in
the face.
-- Helen Keller.
‡ The well-known psychologist Abraham Maslow, who charted out a hierarchy
of human needs, put self esteem above the basic physiological, social and
security needs of an individual.
‡ Nathaniel Branden, the guru of self-esteem issues, states in The Six Pillars of
Self-esteem : "The level of our self-esteem has profound consequences for
every aspect of our existenceͶhow we operate in the workplace, how we
deal with people, how high we are likely to rise, how much we are likely to
‡ Branden, in fact, describes it as the one common denominator in all
neurotic problems. He sees them either as direct expression of or a defense
against inadequate self esteem.
‡ In his book, Healing The Shame That Binds You, John Bradshaw says: "Total
self-love and acceptance is the only foundation for happiness and the love
of others. Without total self-love and acceptance, we are doomed to the
enervating task of creating false selves."
‡ All experts agree that much of it is developed in the first three
years of life. The basic developmental task between 0 to 3 years is
trust. The denial of trust impairs the development of self-esteem.
Unconditional parental love at this stage is crucial. A constantly
berated or ridiculed child will find it hard to develop good self-
‡ A critical teacher can hinder the development of good self-esteem,
and so can negative peer experiences.
‡ At adolescence, acceptance or rejection in relationships, particularly
with the opposite sex, can have an impact on self-esteem.
‡ Through psychological intervention, counseling and other self help
techniques, individuals can develop self-esteem at any level.
‡ Healthy self esteem correlates with rationality, realism, intuitiveness,
creativity, independence, flexibility, ability to manage change, willingness to
admit ( and correct ) mistakes, benevolence and cooperation.
‡ Self esteem is an important part of our health and well-being. If we feel
good about ourselves we are more likely to take care of ourselves by
making sensible choices. By knowing one͛s own mind, one can be confident
enough to make our own decisions even if others are trying to persuade an
individual to do otherwise.
‡ High Self esteem helps one get through difficult or stressful times and
events. Through a healthy sense of inner-self, an individual may be less
affected by criticism or rejection and will be able to bounce back more
‡ People with High self esteem are able to risk failure as they know that they
will be able to cope with it and even try again.
‡ Ability to solve ( rather than avoid or deny) problems.
‡ Perceive mistakes as learning experiences.
‡ Ability to trust people.
‡ Ability to take reasonable risks.
‡ Act independently.
‡ Ability to understand and express feelings and emotions in positive ways.
‡ Confidence in meeting new people and making new friends.
‡ Cooperative approach.
‡ Ability to accept and give.
Positive self talk
Improved self confidence
Happy relationships
High achievement
Positive perception of self
and others
‡ Poor self esteem correlates with irrationality, blindness to reality, rigidity, fear
of the new and unfamiliar, inappropriate conformity or inappropriate
rebelliousness, defensiveness, an overly compliant or controlling behavior,
and fear or hostility towards others.
‡ Low self esteem adversely affects an individual͛s outlook towards
themselves, others and their existence.
‡ Low self esteem fosters a sense of unworthiness, inferiority and lack of
purpose in an individual.
‡ Low self esteem is uncontrollable in nature. People with low self esteem feel
insecure. They are not sure what normal is, and they are not comfortable
with themselves or with others.
‡ Low self esteem can be a terminal condition, resulting in death through
suicide, murder, accident, alcoholism, drug abuse, food disorder, etc.
‡ Feelings of being unloved and a chronic sense of feeling different from
‡ Overly dependent, inability to make decisions.
‡ Breeds extreme jealousy.
‡ Fear of trying new activities ( Risk-taking ).
‡ Inability to describe or even understand feelings.
‡ Creates a need to over achieve.
‡ Highly critical of self and others.
‡ Continuous self-mutilation.
‡ Inability to open yourself to others and inability to trust others .
‡ Inability to make decisions because of confusion and fear of making a
mistake or of disappointing others.
‡ Chronically affected by the need for approval and acceptance by others;
affected by the fear of abandonment, fear of rejection, and disapproval.
‡ Being overly serious, unable to see humor in one's plight as a human being.
‡ Inability to reward oneself for one's own accomplishments .
‡ Leads to excessive anxiety in the face of the need to change and the fear of
change .
‡ Results in poor health, drug abuse, alcohol abuse and eating disorders.
Insecurity about who you are and lack of belief in yourself.
‡ Problems in establishing intimacy with others and problems in interpersonal
relationships .
‡ Lack of objectivity and openness to a variety of alternatives in decision
making, and a tendency to resort to "black and white'͚ judgments .
‡ Problems in handling anger, either by denying its impact on one's life or by
not being able to control it, thereby experiencing chronic hostility.
‡ Chronic sense of depression, discomfort, or inadequacy .
‡ An overriding sense of guilt and inadequacy.
‡ Inability to face one's problems and the need to change, a tendency to use denial.
Negative self talk
Lack of self confidence
Unhappy relationships
Low achievement
Negative perception of self
and others
‡ There are different aspects to recovering your self-esteem.
‡ One has to learn to explore oneself and become aware of one͛s feelings,
thoughts and deeds, and then accept them.
‡ One has to make a conscious effort in becoming self-assertive, to love
oneself unconditionally, and rework one͛s personal history.
‡ It is essential to stop comparing oneself with others or putting oneself
‡ One must remain true to themselves during the process and continue to
make conscious efforts even in stressful situations.
‡ Try to stop thinking negative thoughts about yourself : If you're used to
focusing on your shortcomings, start thinking about positive aspects of
yourself that outweigh them. When you catch yourself being too critical,
counter it by saying something positive about yourself. Make a list of things
about yourself that make you happy.
‡ Aim for accomplishments rather than perfection : Some people become
paralyzed by perfection. Instead of holding yourself back , think about what
you're good at and what you enjoy, and go for it.
‡ View mistakes as learning opportunities : Accept that you will make mistakes
because everyone does. Mistakes are part of learning. Remind yourself that
a person's talents are constantly developing, and everyone excels at different
‡ Try new things : Experiment with different activities that will help you get in
touch with your talents. Then take pride in new skills you develop.
‡ Recognize what you can change and what you can't : If you realize that
you're unhappy with something about yourself that you can change, then
start today. If it's something you can't change ( like your height ), then start
to work toward loving yourself the way you are.
‡ Set goals : Think about what you'd like to accomplish, then make a plan for
how to do it. Stick with your plan and keep track of your progress.
‡ Take pride in your opinions and ideas. Don't be afraid to voice them.
‡ Make a contribution : Tutor a classmate who's having trouble, help clean up
your neighborhood, or volunteer your time in some other way. Feeling like
you're making a difference and that your help is valued can do wonders to
improve self esteem.
‡ Have fun : Enjoy spending time with the people you care about and doing
the things you love. Relax and have a good time Ͷand avoid putting your
life on hold.
‡ It's never too late to build healthy, positive self esteem. In some cases
where the emotional hurt is deep or long lasting, it can take the help of a
mental health professional, like a counselor or therapist. These experts can
act as a guide, helping people learn to love themselves and realize what's
unique and special about them.
‡ Self esteem plays a role in almost everything you do. People with high self
esteem do better in school and find it easier to make friends. They tend to
have better relationships with peers and adults, feel happier, find it easier
to deal with mistakes, disappointments, and failures, and are more likely to
stick with something until they succeed. It takes some work, but it's a skill
you'll have for life.

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