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Revising a Professional Document

Eng 2116- 090

Camila Moreira

Reasoning behind horrible

Bumble Bee Auto bot
Level 2 Instructions


They are made for 5 and up the instructions are small with pictures that you cant tell what
the parts are made of.
The communication fails for this because there is no way the people who wrote these
instructions went through the process as stated in the text.
Communication Goals
o First impression of these instructions for an adult let alone a 5 year old would be
of intimidation, and complete confusion, does a bad job of persuading people to
read instructions at all.
o To even look at the small boxes of the image being transformed is frustrating.
o They did not do correct research on the parts themselves by making the
instructions visible enough to see the small parts.
o The directions are going from left to right horizontally which is not appealing to
the eyes but very confusing.
o The page design is all wrong, why did they only use two pages for all of those
o They could have had completely revised these instructions by doing test cases on
different ages of children to see if they could actually figure out how to transform
the figures.
o They did not think about what people do while reading the instructions.

Revising a Professional Document

Eng 2116- 090
Camila Moreira

Suggestions on ways to fix

1. Page Design
a. Make each separate box on different pages at most 4 each on a page.
b. Make the toys clear so you can see the tiny parts that must be
c. Add some kind of warning that this is hard but to relax before you
d. Add some kind of instruction or labels on one separate page as what
the parts are on the product.
2. Drafting
a. Watch audience perform the procedures on the instructions and then
see what works what doesnt.
b. Add some kind of words or arrows that are visible