Brief Assignment 9

Your BA9 is due on November 20 on Raider Writer by 11:59:59 p.m.

Objective: To demonstrate your ability to revise paragraphs at the sentence level

Purpose: When you revise papers, you begin by reexamining content and organization of
the paper overall before moving to more specific concerns such as the thesis,
introduction, and conclusion. Usually, one of the final steps involves revising the body
paragraphs to ensure that they reflect your intended purpose and reach your intended
audience. This final brief assignment will help you accomplish that.

Description: First, review your Draft 1.1. Consider the following:

Does the initial focus of your draft as expressed in your thesis statement need revision?

Are your purpose for writing and target audience easily identified after reading your
draft? If you need to revise your thesis (and thus, a substantial portion of your paper), or
if you need to better focus your purpose and identify your audience, your revisions of
your body paragraph might start with those areas. You may need to make sure that your
main point(s) are restated clearly, and that your readers understand the implications of
your analysis.

For this assignment, use the guidelines from Chapters 4, 5, 50, and 53 in the St. Martins
Handbook to revise a substantial body paragraph (i.e. at least 4 sentences in length) from
your Draft 1.1. Paste the original paragraph from your 1.1 draft into the assignment so
that your instructor will be able to compare the original with your revision. Finally, write
a short summary and evaluation of your revisions. Identify and explain which strategies
you used in revision and explain these revisions achieve your purpose for the paper. Also
let readers know here which paragraph, your original or the revision, is the strongest and
why you believe that to be so.

The total length of the analysis should be 350-500 words, NOT including the original and
revised body paragraphs.

BA9 Simplified

Original Body Paragraph (please label)

Revised Body Paragraph (please label)

Evaluation of Revision (must be between 350-500 words)

Explain the revisions that you made and how you made those revisions.

Explain how these revisions improve your body paragraph and your entire
rhetorical analysis.

Explain whether your original or revised body paragraph is stronger and why.

You must use a body paragraph. You cannot use your introduction or conclusion.