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Writing to Investigate a Cause Peer Review
Directions: Answer the following questions in as much detail as possible, quoting or referencing the text
specifically to support your feedback. Focus on striking a balance of supportive and critical feedback.
Authors: list two or three questions or concerns you have about your draft that youd like to discuss with
your group. (Reviewers: Be sure to respond to writers questions here)

1. Point out any confusing sentences or passages and note them here. Were you able to follow the
general direction of the essay easily? Explain how the essay was organized and why it was
effective (or not).
Carlas paper doesnt seem to have confusing sentences.
2. Does the essay clearly describe an effect or phenomenon and its various possible causes?
Yes, it does clearly describe an effect. She describes her father getting sick.
3. Does the writer utilize sufficient and appropriately scholarly evidence to support his or her
claims? Explain.
Yes she gives good details about what chemicals cigarettes obtain.
4. Does the essay give equal attention to at least two perspectives?
Yes she gives a brief summary about how cigarettes cause cancer.

Are there quotations from proponents of different causes? In other words, are the different
communities representing themselves in this essay?

6. Are there sentences or paragraphs that veer off-topic? Explain.
No all of her evidence supports one claim.

Are the various sources clearly connected? Do the ideas fit together logically and are the
transitions between ideas smooth? Explain.

They fit together logically but transitions could be better.

Strength of Introduction and Conclusion
8. Does the hook create genuine interest? How? And does the introduction provide sufficient context
on the phenomenon? Explain.
The hook catches attention because it asks a question about the topic. It gives the reader more of
an interest to read the passage.
9. Does the conclusion describe the implications of the debate? How?
Yes, she gives a conclusion on both sides of the debate and chooses the negatives for both sides.

10. Long sentences are fine if they move well, but point out any parts that seem choppy or pretentious
(long and wordy). many cigar smokersdo cigars cause cancer like cigarettes do? (2) I feel like
this could have been introduced in a better way.
11. Characterize the style: enthusiastic, ponderous, critical, or something totally different. Does it fit
the writers message? Explain.
Yes this fits with the writers message because she gave one main example of her father
investigating how he caught cancer.
12. Does the essay cite three appropriately scholarly sources? Does it have in-text citations and a
Works Cited page?
Yes, she gives 2 sources. (, 1998-2015 Mayo Clinic foundation for Medical
Education and Research.)
13. Dont do a complete editing job, but do point out the most distracting slips in usage and
mechanics. Summarize the patterns of grammatical error here (ie run-on sentences, spelling, etc.)
Overall, the paper was well thought out and planned but some grammatical errors which really didnt
effect that much in the paper.
14. Note any other questions or feedback you have for the writer here. This is important: since every
paper is unique, they will each have their own successes and concerns that may not be addressed
Feel like you should Elaborate and give examples of cigarettes. Adding that as sort of a counter argument
and then ending with your original topic of discussion.