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DECE M B E R 2015 www.fhm.com.

ph

THE NO. 1 MAGAZINE IN


THE PHILIPPINES

#fhmtwerkitlikeKimDomingo

80,000
800,000
3,000,000
and shes not even
a celebrity...YET

kim

domingo
twerk it like a hot
internet sensation!
DO IT WHERE
ITS TIGHT

KEEP OUR HANDY


QUICKIE SPOT LOCATOR
P150

ISSN 0119-7681
12

9 7701 1 9 768009

18 + Con t e n t s A R e no t sui tA bl e f oR minoRs

M I L L E N N I AL

SPECIAL

#DOMINATE
SOCIALMEDIA
WHAT YOU
HAVE TO DO TO
INCREASE
FOLLOWERS
WRITE POWERFUL
HASHTAGS
TURN LIKES
TO MONEY
BECOME
DAMN FAMOUS

A DELICIOUS
HIGH-FAT, HIGH-SALT,
HIGH-EVERYTHING
HOLIDAY FEAST
WE SHOULD EAT,
DRINK, AND
BE MERRY!

c o nt ents 1 2 / 1 5

46

@ t here a lki m d o m i n g o

P H O T O G R A P H Y : R I A R E G I N O O F FAT C AT S T U D I O S , J O N AT H A N
B A L D O N A D O ; I L L U S T R AT I O N S : LO U I S A R E A S , M E LV I N C A L I N G O

T he F r ench-F i l ipi n a
I nt er net s en s at ion
t a ke s mor n i n g s el f ie s
t o g r e at er hei ght s.

70 A SPREAD FIT FOR


FATTIES

86 SHOOTING THE BULL


WITH JAY CONTRERAS

Turkey for Noche Buena?


Yes, please.

Kamikazee ends their


decades plus stint in
Pinoy rockfrontman Jay
indulges us in this months
maharot man test.

76 QUICK AND EASY


How to pull a quick diddle,
anytime, any place.

78 HATCHING #SOCIALMEDIASUPERSTAR
SCHEMES
How to rake in P50,000
anything on the Internet.

www.fhm.com.ph

facebook.com/FHM.ph

88 TWO GIRLS, ONE


SPREAD
Models Hazel Cha and
Karen Punzalan show off
their bestie experience.

82 PRO-CAGER
HOPEFULS

92 MODELS ON PARADE
Your favorite FHM babes

We poke our heads in


the Pilipinas Commercial
Basketball Leagues 1st
season to find out whos the
new kid on the hardcourt.

stop by to give you a proper


2015 sendoff..

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STA RT E R

18 SUNKISSED
Giselle Pia's shimmering
bronze skin makes us cry.

22 PULBURA-FREE
EXPLOSIVES
Didn't know watermelons
were perfect sub for pyro
display? They are.

26 BEEP! BEEP!
The ins and outs of train
commuter cards.

28 MERRY HO, HOS!


Why Santa Claus' sack is so
big, plus other dirty jokes

LO U NGE

34 BUY A RUG, DO
YOUR LADY ON IT
This is how Hollywood
flicks do it.

STYLE

106 FORMAL WEAR


FOR YOUR WRIST

118 EMERGENCY
MARTILYO
And these pocket sized tools
will save you from disaster.

Suggestions follow...

38 LADIES
CONFESSIONS
Men helping women help
themselves.

AC C ES S

38 THE FORCE:
A BRUSH UP
A brush up on the rest
of the cult flicks, before
Episode VII hits the screens.

44 RAZORBACK TURNS
25!
They threw a concertthen
sat with us to talk legacy.

30 APOLOGIZE
WITH JEWELRY

48 GEEK CONVENTION

...and other womenapproved things that will


cancel out every atraso.

What happens when we stop


by the E-Sports and Gaming
Summit.

120 MARCO HO
108 KOREANOVELA
YOUR COAT WEAR
How to wear which coat,
in these perfect-ber month
conditions.

GIRLF RIE ND
112 JHANE
SANTIAGUEL

Is going solo. We help keep


her company.

UPGRADE

116 SCALING
MOUNTAINS IN
DECEMBER

Sounds like a better deal


than being human sardinas
everywhere in the city this
holiday.

AKA Bogart the Explorer


used to live on P20 a day,
here's how he isn't doing it
anymore.

122 WHEELS A SHINY


The Volkswagen GTI
and three Suzukis for
Christmas!

124 YOUR ESKINITA,


LIVE ON GOOGLE
STREET
And other tech updates that
make us nervous.

126 HOW TO STALK


PEOPLE ON SOCIAL
MEDIA
Rule 1: calm your thumbs.

128 TRUE STORIES!


Major flubs, disclosed.

8 FH M DECEMBER 2015

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P H O T O G R A P H Y : Y V E S H U Y T R U O N G , K U R T A LV A R E Z , R G M E D E S T O M A S ;
I L L U S T R AT I O N S : E D W A R D M I C H A E L AT I E N Z A , J E R E M I A H I D A N A N

c o n te n ts 1 2 / 1 5

T H E TEAM: WHAT FHM ers HAVE BEEN U P TO T HI S M ON T H


Kim Domingo
broke the
Internet without
having to take
her clothes off
like another
famous Kim, but
for our cover
we just had to
ask for a little
more, and here
you go!

Ina Raymundo glowing at her


autograph signing, no need for
nostalgia when the present looks
this good.

Style editor Ash claims, bagay kami


o with leggy Lenovo muses Alyssa
Valdez and Monika Sta. Maria. Kung
height lang siguro ang pinag-usapan...

We put our collective health on the line to give you the most
sinful Christmas food guide youll see this monththe beers
were props, swear.

Team FHM represented at the 2015


Mens Health Urbanathlon with a
win over rivals-for-the-day Team
Top Gearnow they have to drive us
around for a week.

Chief Allan with Image Comics


co-founder Whilce Portacio at the
Tokyo Internatioal Comic Festival
2015. Ike !

As you can see, Associate


Art Director JL has many
antics during shoots: Ha ha!
Go, JL, go! Thats why hes
always tired apparently.

ERRATUM: To our friends at Philippine Wrestling Revolution, sorry for calling you guys Philippines Wrestling Federation.
Force of habit we guess. Sorry for calling Mr. Manalo, Mark D. Panalo. Youre all winners in our book.

10 FH M DECEMBER 2015

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I S B R O U G H T T O Y O U B Y. . .
Team Editor Allan A. Madrilejos
Managing Editor Allan P. Hernandez
Art Director Paul C. Villariba
Associate Art Director John Laurence O. Patulan
Senior Features Editor Khyne L. Palumar
Assistant Style Editor Mikey Ashlie L. Mahinay
Editorial Assistants, Pong M. Castillo, Chise A. Alcantara
Celebrity Coordinator Allan Altera
A N D F U T U R E - P R O O F E D B Y. . .
Managing Editor BA Borleo
Associate Section Editor Gelo G. Gonzales
Senior Staff Writer Ron Jay B. Eduvas
Staff Writer Neps N. Firmalan, John Paulo Aguilera, Mary Rose A.
Hogaza
Video Production Specialist Engelheart V. Jarilla
WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM...
Words Chad Rosario, Ron Jay Eduvas, Jen Chan, Noni Odulio, Max
Mahinay, Chiara Cui, Paulo Aguilera, Rey Joble, Toni Antiporda, Vince
Sales, Tatin Yang Illustrations Mikke Gallardo, Melvin Calingo, Edward
Michael Atienza, Louie Arenas, Jeremiah Idanan, Gilbert Daroy Pictures
Yves Huy Truong, Kurt Alvarez, Mark Jesalva, Jay Tablante, Paul Mondok,
Ria Regino, Jonathan Baldonado, Chris Lucas, RG Medestomas, Jerico
Montemayor, Heidi Pascual-Aquende Styling/Makeup/Hair Giovanna
Avila, Beam Mariano, Janina Dizon, Badj Genato, Julius Villanueva, Victoria
Yujuico-Keet, Max Gana, Debra Bernales, Amanda Padilla, Ronnie Dungca,
Rhoy Cervantes, Jacque de Borja, Chinky Tanjangco, Johan Pilo, Prin Ces
Johnson Pionan, Ysra Guarino, Rhina Montemayor
F H M I N T E R N AT I O N A L N E T W O R k
International Director Simon Greves International Digital Director
Gary Broughton International General Manager Mark Beard
International Digital Manager Graham Kirk International Content
Executive Ryan Chambers International Digital & Content Executive
Erin Viljoen International Technical Administrator John Goodchild
International Editors (Australia) Guy Mosel, (China) Jacky Jin, (Czech
Republic) Dalibor Demel, (France) Laurent Giraud, (Germany) Hans Fuchs,
(Holland) Sander Kersten, (India) Kabeer Sharma, (Indonesia) Richard
Sam Bera, (Latvia) Sandris Metuzals, (Malaysia) Rajesh Taluar, (Norway)
Martin Thronsen, (Philippines) Allan Madrilejos, (Romania) Paul Breazu,
(Russia) Slava Rovner, (Singapore) David Fuhrmann Lim, (Slovenia) Uros
Majcenovic, (South Africa) Hagen Engler, (Spain) Rafael Benitez, (Taiwan)
Saffron Lee, (Thailand) Jakaphatchara Buranabutr, (Turkey) Berk Iybar,
(UK) Damien McSorley
SUMMIT MEDIA
President Lisa Gokongwei-Cheng Publisher Edna T. Belleza
VP for Operations Hansel dela Cruz Junior Associate Publisher
Aeus Kevin Reyes Digital Publisher Adel De Jesus Deputy Group
Digital Publisher Amina Rillo Web Business Operations Manager
Dennison Ko Web Programmer Christopher Porto Production Director
Elizabeth Rellis Production Coordinator Arnel Laigo Production
Graphic Artist Louis Arenas Administrative Services Manager
Whilma M. Lopez Admin Assistants Michiel Lumabi, Marlyn Miguel
ADVERTISING
Group Advertising Director Florence Bienvenido Adv. Director-key
Accounts Group Regie Uy Adv. Mangers Maiza G. Mueco key Account
Specialists Joey Anciano, Junn de las Alas, Alex Revelar,
Suzette Tolentino Senior Account Manager (Print) Ginger Taduran,
Bem Caharian, JJ Dinglasan Senior Account Manager (Digital)
Lucas Reyes Junior Account Managers (Print) Melinda Kitane-San
Diego, Junior Account Managers (Digital) Onnie Del Mundo, Dianne
Suegay, Angela Lagahid, Adv. Executive Assistant Rita Barbacena key
Accounts Assistants Maricel Adaniel, Ashley Balla, Chinggay M. Cabit
Adv. Assistants Lorena Santiago
Adv. Traffic Supervisors Eliziel del Rio, Myra Gorospe
E V E N T S D E PA R T M E N T
Assistant Marketing Manager: Leah H. Basco Jr. Marketing
Associates: Sirius Langkay, Gladys Lapitan, Siena Mirano,
Kieffer Albert Nonato, Abigail Pinili
M E D I A R E L AT I O N S
Media Relations Manager Grace Enriquez
TRADE MARkETING
Trade Marketing Officer Candace Lobendino Trade Marketing
Associate Kamille Guirnalda Trade Marketing Ass. Jamie Islo, Angelica
Anne Casacop, Daryl Lincod Jr. Trade Marketing Project Coordinator
Patric Malicdem
C R E AT I V E S O L U T I O N S
Team Art Director Jaykee Evangelista Copywriter Miguel Escobar
Digital Art Director Rey Etable Associate Art Director Jerome de Dios
Carlo Maala Senior Web Designer Teddy Garcia Producer Tara Llavore
C I R C U L AT I O N
Deputy National Circulation Manager Glenda Gil Circulation
Manager-GMA Alaine Mae Lozada Provincial Sales Manager
Alexis Martinez International Distribution Specialist Ulyssis Javier
Distributors Group Head Caroline Herrera
key Accounts Group Head Malou Rubinos Subscriptions Group
Head Hanna Montecer Circulation Supervisor Mary Fatima Flores
Systems Administrator - Interactive Editions Rico Cruz, Ron Silang
key Accounts SpecialistVivian Manahan, Charlotte Barlis, Noreen
Sescon-Peligro, Jinky Rose Calugtong, Jennifer Tolentino, Jenny Reparep,
Lhon Bituin, Nathaniel Embiado, Felix Tong II Distributor SpecialistNorth Luzon Mark Elliot Villola Distributor Specialist-Central Luzon
Gian Carlo Peralta Distributor Specialist-Central Visayas Robert
Revilla Distributor Specialist-Western Visayas Ivan Dela Pena
Distributor Specialist-Central Mindanao Eric Ferdinand Gasatan
Newsstands Supervisor Joel Valdez Sales Representative-GMA
John Lakhi Celso, Edward Caringal, Anjelyn Joy Carino Subscription
Coordinator Jofet Abad-Legaspi, Joyce Ann Ramos, Raquel Lorenzo
Distribution Account Analyst May Ann Ayuste Circulation
Administrative Assistant Marjorie Abueme Circulation
Administrative Assistant Elnie Marie Santos Export Sales Assistant
Legui Brylle Gonzales Telemarketer Michelle Jayin, Ruby Rose Frias

www.fhm.com.ph

letterS 12/15

Get in touch!

FaCebook.Com/
Fhm.Ph

ins tagR am@


FhmPhiloFFiCial

tWitteR.Com/
FhmPhil

Fhm@summitmedia.
Com.Ph

6F & 7F Robinsons
CybeRgate CenteR
toWeR 3 PioneeR
ComPlex, PioneeR st.,
mandaluyong City 1550

TO A N OT H E R
Y E A R OF ASS
K I C K I N G, B R O!

And another epic FHM issue has been released.


Congrats on your first black and white cover! I
love Ina Raymundos burning hot spread. I don't
know if I should call her a miss or a missus.
because she has the body of a miss. and the
experience and wisdom of a missus.help me out
here, guys! She just proved that 40 is the new
sexy. I also enjoyed reading Business Class Your
Life and staring at the Hotties of FHM JAV Heat.
Thank you again for an explosive issue and also
for being my guide to an ass-kicking 2015!
Keneth Dave Fajilan, via email

ITS BLACK! ITS


WHITE!

Seeing the black and


white cover of your
November made me
even more excited
to buy my very own
copy. I was wondering
whether it was
possible for you guys
to go through with
this kind of aesthetic
concept, and you
actually did! It turned
out brilliantly. Good
work, FHM team!
Khibs Suelto, via
Facebook
12 FH M DECEMBER 2015

FANBOYING!

YOU HEART OUR ART


DIRECTORS!

Orlee Pasion, via Instagram


facebook.com/FHM.ph

I just want to applaud you on a job well


done with the magazines layouts. Im
not sure where exactly it started, but
youve been coming up with some really
great layouts lately. Also, you guys did
an awesome job on the FHM Dare cards.
Theyre so fun and quirky, ha ha! I do
hope you get Ms. Ellen Adarna on the
cover again soon. Its been a while since
shes graced your cover.
Anyway, continue kicking ass and
rocking every issue! Love yall!
Janine Banday, via
Facebook

twitter.com/fhmphil

fhmphilofficial

www.fhm.com.ph

OH, CHINITO

I have been an avid fan


of your magazine since
forever and I would really
love it if you guys would
help me surprise someone
really special to me, my Mr.
Chinito, to thank him. He
has inspired me to try out
new things that I would
have never had the courage
to do before, like dragon
boating, hiking, marathon
running, and I love the new
me. I want to tell him that
hell always have a special
place in my life no matter
what. Thanks FHM!
Masked Angel, via
Facebook

NOTHANK YOU!

As an avid fan of your magazine, I could not thank you


enough for using my shot of Ms. RC on your article These
6 Women From Resorts World Manila Are This Weeks
#FHMOfficeCrush.
Carlo Presto, via Facebook

fhmexperienceina

tweats

Now, this will surely complete


my Sabado Nights! Ageless
beauty, @inaraymundo95!
#fhmexperienceina Rodney
Collantes, @rodzilla2 8 8 0, via
Twitter
OMG Ina freaking Raymundo!
<3 She still looks so young!
She is indeed forever <3
#fhmexperienceina M-J-N-C,
@MjCruz10 97, via Twitter
Pinay legend, Ina Raymundo
is still hot at 40! Thank
you #fhmphilippines
#fhmexperienceina Brian
Gonzales, @brianG10 24, via
Twitter

NOW, WHE RES


OUR G I F T?
Please include this in your
December issue as a gift for
being a loyal collector. Thanks
so much FHM!
Anonymous
twitter.com/fhmphil

My wife and I buy


your magazine every
month. We are apart
from each other right
now so maybe you can
help us feel a little bit
closer. Our birthdays
and anniversary are
coming up, and my
wife will be surprised
to see our pics in your
pages. I sent you
guys censored and
uncensored versions,
thank you!
Earl Akins, via email

For future reference:


If penis photos are
involved, a censored
version will suffice.
Thank you.

Ive been a loyal


collector of your title
for quite some time
now so I thought
you guys could
include a picture
of my collection in
your magazine as a
Christmas gift. Thank
you so much FHM!
#ilovefhmphilippines
#proudfhmphilippinescollector
Leo N Ard, via
Facebook

G ALLE RY

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YAY, BOOBIES
ANDOH

fhmphilofficial

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FRESH
LOOK

PREMIERE EARTHQUAKE O-RIN


O-RING
Vibrating O-ring for
earth-shattering experience.

# f itfo rple as u r e

Its her serve,


and your
chance to
score.

ADVERTISINGFEATURE

D
A
O
R
THE
SMART POWER

The all-new ISUZU mu-X packs the power


and fun you need in an SUV, and more

UVs could fall on either of two


extremes: a wingman to the great
outdoors or a reliable family car.
This is where the new Isuzu mu-X
strikes a balance and lands smack
in the middle. It can haul your
brood on family days, but its still equally and every
bit be the perfect trooper-on-wheels for weekend
adventures. We all know of its brawny style and
functional design from the predecessor model, but thiss

new release promises even better features for a fun ride


anytime, anywhere!
The seven-seater Isuzu mu-X now runs on a 3.0L
displacement, with a maximum torque of 380Nm
@1,800-2200rpm, which provides more hatak power
to take you uphill smoothly even when its at full
capacity. While many SUVs in the market sell for
fuel-efficiency and affordability for its diesel engines,
the Isuzu mu-X banks more as a silent road rider.
Also, you get less bounce with its independent double

The Isuzu mu-X


is equipped with
a smart key called
Passive Entry and a
Start/Stop System
for turning the
engine on and off
with just a push of a
button.

TURBO POWER
Isuzus turbo diesel engine
is famous for its reliability
and efficiency.

POWER TO CONTROL
Classy black leather seats
and dash with minimal
aluminium trimming. Plus its
comfortable, and thats all
that really matters.

POWER TO
MOVE
Twelve cup
holders and
19 storage
compartments,
including a shelf
integrated on
the dashboard.

Head on, the Isuzu


mu-X sports a meanlooking mug.

Take the
Isuzu mu-X
anywhere and
itll t in.

POWER ADJUST
DRIVERS SEAT

The mu-X seats up to


seven, with collapsible
rows for different seating
congurations. Long
hours on the road arent
a problem, with its Power
Adjust Driver Seat for
your comfort.

wishbone suspension with coil spring


and stabilizer, a huge plus when you
plan to take your date on rough
off-road. That means you wont mind
more time behind the wheel while
your lady passenger sits comfortably
beside you. In the Isuzu mu-X,
everybody wins!
We know that with great (engine)
power comes great responsibility,
and the Isuzu mu-X has the safety
department all covered for the vigilant
wheelman in you. The new Daytime
Running Lights (DRL) feature
provides better eyes on the road,
and improves your visibility to other
drivers. The built-in Anti-lock Brake
System (ABS) and Traction Control
System (TCS) are essential in crash
avoidance when just pounding a foot

on the brake pedal wont save you.


Now, for the fun part: enjoy the
seven-inch infotainment touchscreen
neatly meshed on the dash for playing
audio-visual man-materials, or the
10-inch roof-mounted monitor if you
decide to have some backseat fun. All
these are just among the many cool,
functional, and safety features every
motorist deserves.
All in all, the Isuzu mu-X proves
to be a stalwart for a worry-free drive
in the city, or a bold cruise out of
town. Its a powerful machine thats
great-looking to boot. Whether youre
a family man or single and swingin,
the Isuzu mu-Xs mix of style,
function, undeniable machismo make
it a true keeper.

POWER TO SHIFT
Five-speed automatic
transmission with
sequential shift.
Swabeng-swabe ang
kambyo!

DAYTIME
RUNNING
LIGHTS (DRL)
clear the path
ahead and
establish your
presence on the
road.

POWER TO ACCESS
A GPS-enabled
information display on
the dashboard makes
driving feel sort of like
playing a video game.

STARTER

Per fect
st ock

Wi s d o M Yo u
s H o u l d nt
l e ave H o M e
Wit H o ut

Giselle Pia is a
study in the Perfect
Play of Genetics

PHOTOGRAPHY:

yVes huy
truonG
INTERVIEW:

chad rosario
HAIR AND MAKEUP:

GioVanna aVila
18 FH M DECEMBER 2015

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DECEMBER 2015 FH M 19

f i l i p i n as a r e d ef i n i t e ly t h e b est w i f e m at e r i a l
b u t d o esn t ev e ryo n e a l r e a dy k n ow t h at ?

If we had the power to clone


hot women, wed probably
use Giselle Pias DNA.
The genetic composition
is mind-blowinglong sexy stems,
smooth tanned skin, jet-black locks,
and the bum of a Latina. Also worth
mentioning is her carefree attitude and
eagerness to learn. Case in point: Im
not sure what a late night nookie is,
but I would love to know more, shares
Giselle. Were sure a lot of you are
willing to show her that!
How does it feel to be on FHM?
Great! I cant wait to get the phone
calls from family in the Philippines
asking if thats their relative in the
magazine, ha ha!
We learned that you were here in
Manila several months back, and
that you had wanted to work with us.
If you had called us we would have
gladly obliged.
You didn't call me! But this worked out
20 FH M DECEMBER 2015

fineyou are forgiven, ha ha!


Your features are very Filipino. Are
you 100-percent Pinay?
Im actually half-Filipina, half-Spanish,
which basically means I am halfway to
becoming a beauty queen.
Right on! Are you always this
comfortable wearing minimal pieces
of clothing in front of the camera?
I am now. In the beginning stages
of modeling, it was always very
unnatural. Now as long as I vibe
well with the photographer, its very
liberating! Try it!
Well pass for our readers sake. You,
on the other hand, look amazing
even with no bottoms on. Do you
believe that no pants are the best
pants?
All day, every day, always!
And what do you do to keep those
legs ultra-toned?
Switch up the workouts! Cardio
twice a week, hot yoga sculpt, Pilates
reformers, barre classesanything
that will shock your body into not
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being too comfortable.


Aside from those stems, what body
part of yours gets complemented the
most?
Definitely my behind. Its like a little
bubble butt, Ive been told. I book a lot
of swim jobs because of my buttits
so strange! I am definitely not a Kim
Kardashian, but I think itll do.
In your opinion, are Filipina women
the best lovers?
Filipina women, in general, are the
best. We are outspoken, we cook the
best food, we have great skin, and we
age to perfection. Oh, and were super
ganda. Filipinas are definitely the best
wife materialbut doesnt everyone
already know that?
Any chance well see you in town
again soon?
If I do visit again, you'd most likely
find me swimming with the whale
sharks in Palawan, getting a full body
massage on the beach, being fanned,
and fed chocolate! FH M

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i b o o k A loT o f
Sw i m jo b S b E cAu S E
o f m y b u T T; i T S
So ST R A n g E ! i A m
d E f i n i T E ly n oT A k im
kA R dASh i A n b uT i
Think iTll do

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DECEMBER 2015 FH M 21

starterlist

FH M

MAD
SCI E N CE

Crackle
p op
boom!
How to ma ke stuff
e xplode sa fe ly!

WORDS:

CHISE ALCANTARA
PHOTOGRAPHY:

KURT ALVAREZ
PROPS:

BEAM MARIANO
22 FH M DECEMBER 2015

The New Year is coming around the


corner and you guys know that it
wouldnt be that great a celebration
without a bunch of explosions! Now,
setting aside that fireworks are dangerous,
hazardous, and environmentally damaging,
they're really just awesome to watch. So dont
let the paltry torotot be the lone star in the
revelry. There are other ways to blow stuff
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up that do not endanger your appendages.


With the help of bona fide geeks Jan Patrick
Calupitan, a PhD Student at the Nara Institute
of Science and Technology (Japan) and
University of Paul Sabatier (France), and
Abba Marie Moreno, registered chemist, were
about to science the shit out of some ordinary
household items...

www.fhm.com.ph

DRY ICE
DOME

HOW TO: Take a garden


hose, some liquid soap,
and some dry ice. Place
the soapy water inside
a container that has an
opening you can stick the
hose in. Place one end
of the hose inside the
container and then dip
the other end in some
liquid soap. The dry ice
will "blow" some cool
smoky subzero bubbles!
THE SCIENCE: Bubbles
are basically liquids filled
with gas. Dry ice is solid
carbon dioxide; at room
temperature it sublimates
to form gaseous carbon
dioxide. Wiping cloth with
bubble solution around
the container forms a thin
layer of liquid, which fills
up with carbon dioxide as
the dry ice sublimates to
form the said gas, says
Calupitan.
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS:
Just dont touch dry ice
with your bare hands!
Yep, its ice that can burn
your skin, who wouldve
thunk?
MESS METER: 0/5 (It
evaporates, so yeah)

CHARMING
THE
FLAME
HOW TO: Get a glass bottle, some alcohol
(at least 70 percent solution), and a kitchen
lighter torch. Put some alcohol inside the
bottle and shake it around. Ignite the opening
of the bottle. Blow air inside the bottle after
every ignition to refill it with oxygen .
THE SCIENCE: To create fire you need
heat, fuel, and oxygen. You have a lot of
alcohol in the atmosphere inside the bottle.
Igniting the inside of the bottle will cause
the alcohol to burn. Burning consumes the

oxygen inside the bottle. This causes the pressure


inside the bottle to decrease relative to the pressure
ourside. The outside pressure is able to push the
flame down the bottle, says Calupitan.
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: Even if the fire is
contained inside a small bottle, you can still get
burned. Wear gloves and wipe off any alcohol
spillage outside the bottle. Also, if possible, try to
conduct the experiment in an open-air area.
MESS METER: 1/5

GENERAL
SAFETY
TIPS FOR
YOUR MAD
LABORATORY!
1 Keep open
flames away
from flammable
objects.
2 Ensure proper
ventilation,
especially when
your experiment
involves gases.
3 Always wear
protective gear:
goggles, gloves,
and lab gowns,
especially if
you're dealing
with corrosive
agents.

www.fhm.com.ph

LAVA
BURST
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fhmphilofficial

HOW TO: This is the classic baking


soda-and-vinegar volcano science project
you aced as a kid because you had your
parents do it. Mix up a concoction of
soapy water, food coloring, and baking
soda. Pour it inside the container inside
the volcano. Add vinegar. Watch it fizz.
THE SCIENCE: If you had listened to
your elementary school science teacher,
you would probably know how this works.
But here's a refresher. Baking soda, also
known as sodium bicarbonate, reacts
with the acetic acid in the vinegar to
produce carbon dioxide gas as one of its
by-products. Carbon dioxide is formed as
bubbles escape the container, thereby
producing the visible explosion, explains
Moreno.
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: There arent
really any safety issues here, but it could
really goo up your kitchen if youre not
careful.
MESS METER: 3.5/5
DECEMBER 2015 FH M 23

starterlist

WATERMELON
NINJA
HOW TO: Get a whole watermelon and
about 200 pieces of rubber bands and
carefully place them around the center of
fruit. Keep doing so until your fruit-torturing
desires are sated.
THE SCIENCE: When you stretch a
rubber band around a watermelon, you store
potential energy around it. Add a lot of rubber
bands and your watermelon cannot contain
this huge amount of potential energy. So

this potential energy


discharges and causes
your fruit to break
apart and burst out all the sweetness inside, says
Calupitan.
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: There isnt much danger
here besides getting hit by the rubber bands. So just
stand back and enjoy the messy magic.
MESS METER: 5/5

PR ES S UR E CANNO N

HOW TO: Get a a couple of carbonated vitamin


tablets and an empty canister. Tape the tablet on
the lid of the canister, fill about half the canister with
water, then close the lid. Quickly turn the canister
upside down, and place it on the table.
THE SCIENCE: You may be asking yourself, Where
does all the energy come from?! Before you start
believing in those commercials that tell you about
the magical effects these vitamins can do for your
body, listen to what our scientists have to say. Some
medicine tablets produce carbon dioxidethe same
gas that causes fizzing in softdrinks. Trapping this
gas in a small container Causes pressure to build up,
popping the canister out, says Calupitan.
SAFETY PRECAUTIONS: Again, this one is
completely safe, and is probably good for you if you
decide to ingest the spoils of the experiment.
MESS METER: 3/5
24 FH M DECEMBER 2015

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starterinfographics
Card is valid up
to four years from
date of purchase.
Mas magtagal pa
siya kaysa sa last
girlfriend mo.
LONGEVITY

Has a load limit


of P8,000. Thats
400 MRT rides
from Quezon
Avenue to Boni
Station.

Introducing the Beep


card: the solution
to the metros
problematic rail transit
system. Or is it?

Our
countrys
train
system
especially the Metro
Rail Transit (MRT)
sucks. Look, we just
cant sugarcoat the
disaster that it is. Its
so bad presidential
hopefuls next
year will surely be
including the train
situation in their
national agenda. Yes,
the daily commute
is now at par with
other national issues
like the yearly
budget, security, and
corruption.
Because new
trains are slow to
come, if they will
ever, the Department
of Transportation
and Communication
has come up with
this: a ticketing
system that involves
a reloadable
contactless smart
card called the
Beep card. Lets
see how it works:

THE
FUTURE
OF
BEEP

26 FH M NOVEMBER 2015

LOAD/CREDIT
BALANCE

MATTER OF
USE

You can keep


it in your wallet,
just tapping
your cash stash
instead. However,
doing so would
also clue in
pickpockets how
much youre
worth.

TH E N EW
B E E P CAR D
VS.
TH E OLD
MAG N ETI C
CAR D

Theres always
that millisecond
heart attack every
time you feed
your magnetic
card into the
steel turnstile.
Baka kainin.

STURDINESS
OF MATERIAL

Its pretty fragile


for a plastic card,
so make sure not
to sit on it.

BUSINESS IDEAS

The Beep Smart Card is primarily owned


by the Ayala Corporation and Metro
Pacific Investments Corporation. So, Mr
Henry Sy, if youre planning to enter the
competition, heres our suggestion for
your smart cards name/brand: The Toot
Card. Why beep, when you can...?

It has a
minimalist
design. They got
that part right.

Sino ba ang
presidente
ngayon?

SOON, IN JEEPNEYS

If the initial run is successful, they


are also planning to introduce the
Beep card as an alternative payment
method on the Philippine Metro
South Commuter Line (the old PNR
line), public buses and jeepneys,
tollways, and convenience stores.

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Has a maximum
value of P100.
A measly four
rides from North
StationTaft
station. Bonus
ride pa yung isa.

USABILITY

Its reloadable. You


can keep the card
even if the balance
reaches zero.

DESIGN

You can
occasionally sit
on it. Take note:
occasionally.

DISCOUNTS
Senior citizens
and PWDs must
register a couple
of days and
wait for their
discounts.

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One-time use
only. Itll then
get recycled
afterwards.

HASSLEFREE
TRANSFER

Recognized in all
metro railways.
One card can
be used in all
LRT and MRT
stations.

Tickets can be
used on one
railway line only.
Parang Pokmon,
you got to buy
them all!

PROBABLY IN SARI-SARI
STORES, TOO

Thanks to the Beep card, we


now know that the DOTC has an
automated fare collection brand
called Transpo. Potentially, you can
use your Beep card in any services
and locations in which Transpo logos
are found.
www.fhm.com.ph

W O R D S : R O N JAY E D U VAS P H OTO G R A P HY : M A R K J ESA LVA

B eep!
beep !

SVT is usable up
to three months
from date of
purchase.

starter

Money lies

Ho ho ho!
Out of this world

Q: How do astronomers
organize a party?
A: They planet.
Veigar, via Facebook

See the light

Light travels faster than


sound. This is why some
people appear bright
until you hear them
speak.
YoYoda, via
Facebook

Family feud

A child asked his father,


How were people
born? So his father
said, Adam and Eve
made babies, then their
babies became adults
and made babies, and
so on. The child then
went to his mother,
asked her the same
question and she told
him, We were monkeys
then we evolved to
become like we are
now. The child ran back
to his father and said,
You lied to me! His
father replied, No, your
mom was talking about
her side of the family.
MyCorona, via
Facebook

Two students are arguing


when their teacher enter the
classroom. The teacher says,
Why are you arguing? A boy
answers, We found a P100 bill
and decided to give it to whoever
tells the biggest lie. You should
be ashamed of yourselves, said
the teacher. When I was your
age I didnt even know what a lie
was. The boys gave the teacher
the P100.
Watanabi, via Facebook

DIRTIEST JOKE SHE KNOWS

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Q: Why is Santa
Claus sack so big?
A: Because he
only comes once a
year!
Danielle,
Editorial
Assistant, 22

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fhmphilofficial

Ala eh !
Q: Taga Batangas ka ba?
A: Hinahanapan kasi
kita... Pero ala eh
BoyAmbot, via
Facebook
M r. P ale n g ke
Nung nakilala kita, yung
puso ko naging parang
presyo ng mga bilihin.
Kasi dati mura lang,
pero ngayon, hindi na
mapigilang magmahal.
Ansimar, via Facebook
Bu s o g l u s o g
Natatandaan mo ba
nung sinabi kong, Hindi
kita mahal? Sobrang
nabusog ako nun eh
Kinain ko kasi lahat ng
sinabi ko.
FlyTheButterfly, via
Facebook
P arallel t h i n k i n g
Alam mo ba kapag
sumama ka sa
matatalino... Tatalino ka
rin. Kapag sa mga adik..
Magiging adik ka rin. Try
mo kaya sumama sakin.
Baka maging akin ka rin.
JeanGrey, via
Facebook
www.fhm.com.ph

I L L U S T R AT I O N : M I K K E G A L L A R D O

BAR R O O M
JOKES

Yo u c an t s e e m e
Uy, sabi ng doctor malala
na daw ang sakit ko sa
puso. Dalawa na lang
daw ang option: either
ICU or you see me.
John Cena, via
Facebook

FH M

HOW TO
SAY YOURE

G I FT G U IDE

Finding the perfect present for your woman is hard enough


as it is. Add an atraso and you have your work cut out for
you. We help narrow down ways of making amends
WORDS: JEN CHAN
PHOTOGRAPHY: MARK JESALVA

FH M

G I FT G UI D E

01

Theres really
just one rule!
The weight of your
gift must be directly
proportional to how
badly you screwed
up. If you have major
points to earn back, be
prepared to spend.

L igh t B ox

Women love grand


romantic gestures, but
they love grand public
apologies even more.
Hold your own a la John
Cusack in Say Anything or
tap into your inner Andrew
Lincoln in Love, Actually
with this awesome and
humbling declaration of
your slave devotion.
P2,999, Typo

02

L ife o f t he
Part y Fu l l - Fa c e
Make u p Ki t

If youve been paying


attention to your girl, then
you should know what
she wants for Christmas.
But seeing as youre
in hot water now, you
probably have no clue.
Our tip: Get her this
holiday gift set. Chances
are, all her favorite cult
products will already be in
it, saving you the trouble
of choosing just one and
(predictably) getting it
wrong.
P2,000, Benefit

03

Minsan Parinig,
Minsan Patama,
Madalas Hugot

Have a laugh over some of


the funniest hugot memes
ever invented. Shell be
sure to laugh at it, too. Just
be prepared to get ribbed
for all your worth.
P195, National
Bookstore
www.fhm.com.ph

04

Gourmet Chocolate
If shes giving you the cold shoulder, let these designer chocolates serve
as peace offering. She might be able to ignore you, but she wont be able
to ignore thesetheyll melt!
P630, (Nama Au Lait, Nama Champagne) Royce

05

A dozen rose
plushies
Is the idea of buying her real,
and therefore, malalantang
flowers at odds with your
kuripot principles? Get your
girl a dozen plushie roses
instead. Theyll never wilt
and theyll never diejust
like your love for her. Yaaan!
P119.75, Toys R Us

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DECEMBER 2015 FH M 31

06

FH M

GI FT G U I D E

Satin lingerie
First things first: This is
not for you; this is for her.
Forget those tacky and
sleazy rags that no real
woman would be caught
dead wearing and opt for
lingerie thats sexy but
tasteful. P.S. You know
youre forgiven when she
offers to wear it for you.
P1,890 (nightie), P1,690
(bra), P790 (panties),
Womens Secret

10

09

D IY s l a ve
coupons

If theres nothing on
this earthly list that can
make her forgive you,
then theres only one
thing thatll save your
relationship: your eternal
servitude. Create a set of
coupons thatll grant her
one favorno matter how
flashyper use. Whether
its going shopping with
her all day or, you know,
going down on her...
foot for as long as you
humanly can. Thats a
foot massage, perv.
Free!

07

08

If youve ever been


accused of not being in
this together, this is the
perfect present to prove
her wrong. Show her that
youre not just willing to
go the extra mile, but that
youre actually prepared
to put it on paper, so to
speak.
P2,195, Quirks

You might not know what


your girl sees in Gregory
Peck, or ugh, Ryan
Gosling, but if you really
want to atone for your
sins, surprise her with a
box set of chick flicks.
This Audrey Hepburn
collection should be
relatively easier to watch.
Offer to watch it all with
herno complaints.
P600, AstroVision

Our li fe s t or y
joint d i a r y

32 FH M DECEMBER 2015

Jewelry
Did you forget your
anniversary? Apologize with
jewelry. You cant really buy
lovebut with this rhodium
and gold-plated pendant, with
pink crystal pavs, you can try.
Score for: P13,500 (Cupid
pendant), Swarovski

C h ic k f li c k s

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HOLLYWOOD your

SEX
LIFE

We settle in for a weekend of steamy flicks to find out


how to get it on, movie-style
WORDS: JOEL GOLBY, FHM PHILIPPINES

ILLUSTRATIONS: MELVIN CALINGO

1
BUY A RUG
A ND BUI L D A
F IR E PL AC E*

As seen in: The


Dark Knight Rises,
Endless Love, City
of Angels, Body of
Evidence
They say men get
turned on in a
very primeval way:
based on what
they see, hear, or
just got sent on
Snapchat. Whereas
women are more
complex machines
made up of a
thousand whirring
engines that all
delicately need
turning on at once.
Thats bullshit. Lie
on a white bearskin
rug in front of
a log fire (best
done in Baguio)*
and you just
bought yourself
the express ticket
to Fuck City.
Population: You,
her, and a dead
bear.

ALWAYS HAV E A PER F ECT LY I R O N ED PO LO SHIRT


LY IN G A R O UN D

As seen in: Fifty Shades of Grey, Friends with Benefits. All my shirts are in the wash,
love. How did you get a perfectly fittedand ironedshirt at such short notice? Was that
hanging up in my wardrobe? Can you put it back? Youre going to put dents in it. Said no
leading man, ever.

STOCK U P
ON TH E S E
UNDIES

HA N G A M I R R O R O N T HE WA L L
O R CEI L I N G

As seen in: American Psycho, Basic Instinct


As everyone in Hollywood knows, the only way
to truly achieve a dark, sexy, intense orgasm is
by mounting a mirror on the wall and admiring
yourself in it. Or the ceilingyou can mount one on
the ceiling, sure. Or in two corner walls, creating
an infinite mirror arrangement. Or mirrors in every
wall, and the ceiling, and the floor, until you are
not able to achieve anything even close to an
erection because you can see your balat sa pwet
from a hundred reflected angles. To recreate this at
home: just open the mirrored wardrobe and admire
yourself in that.

Tighty whities
Mike Myers,
Waynes World

White boxers
George Clooney,
Out of Sight

Banana
hammock
Matthew
McConaughey,
Magic Mike

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4
DRAW A MAP OF
HER BEDROOM

As seen in: The


Last Boy Scout, Nice
Dreams, Twins
If you dont know at
least six hiding places
in your girlfriends
bedroomunder the
bed, behind a curtain,
in a closet, clinging to
the ceiling like Spidermanthen dont be
surprised when the guy
shes really with shows
up and kicks you (and
your balls) out of his
house with no clothes
on. You need to be
drawing maps from day
one, dude. Check if you
can fit under the bed.
Know how much human
weight her wardrobe
can take before toppling
over. Think of it like this:
You are an army major,
and her bedroom is the
battlefield. Know where
the trenches are.

DECEMBER 2015 FH M 35

O N LY- I N H O L LY W O O D
MOVES

5
K E E P YOUR KI TCH EN MESSY

As seen in: 54, Fatal Attraction, Color of Night


The greatest aphrodisiac arent oysters, or money, or avocados. Noits sweeping a load of pans and
plates on the floor as you mount a kitchen work surface for a quickie. If Hollywood has taught us anything,
its that leaving last nights pasta pan out to soak can be oddly arousing.

6
IN S TAL L
A IR CON UNDE R
YO UR KUCHON

(O T H E RW I S E K N OW N
A S A DU V ET )

7
As seen in: The Notebook, Spider-Man, Match
Point
Sprint through a cul-de-sac in the rain waving a
boom box around. Pull a dispassionate basangbasa sa ulan tongue session with your woman.
Sex without rain, according to films, is like toast
without butter: dry, unpalatable, and doesnt
make a mess of the floor. Dont do sex unless
theres a chance that lightning might hit you
midway through.

As seen in: Not a lot


of Hollywood movies
at least not visibly if
youre going to be
discovered having sex.
Its most likely youll be
caught right in the oral
stage, with your head
under the covers and
your fingers otherwise
engaged. But thanks to
air conditioning, when
you emerge from your
sex cocoon you wont
be red in the face. Youll
look just like you got
out of a nicely chilled
make-up trailer.
36 FH M DECEMBER 2015

THROW AWAY YO U R PAYONG

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UN PLUG YO UR
PHO N E

As seen in: Whats


Eating Gilbert Grape,
Bridget Jones Diary,
Tomorrow Never Dies
Hollywood rule #361:
someone is always
going to phone you,
right when youre doing
it, and for whatever
reason you are going to
answer, and its always
either bad news, your
mom, or both. Put your
phone on airplane mode
for the duration of your
sexy timebecause
hearing your mom tell
you about how you need
to visit your tita and
your lola more is a real
boner-killer.

fhmphilofficial

DO NOTHING
AFTER SEX
Welcome to
Hollywood, where
no women have
to immediately
pee after sex, and
nobody has to tie
a tight knot in a
soggy condom.
Nobody has to
move the bed,
or clean up the
sheets.
STOCK UP ON
MOISTURERESISTANT
SHEETS
Just once, wed
like to see a scene
where two actors
post-coitally
contort themselves
around the
massive, wet patch
in the middle of the
bed before Chris
Hemsworth, or
whoever, is forced
to tiptoe through
the dark to fetch a
towel to lay down
on that dugyot spot
in the mattress.
Just once.
CANCEL THE GYM
MEMBERSHIP,
BECAUSE
ANYONE CAN LIFT
A WOMAN
The only exercise
you need to do to
hone a Hollywood
body is to
constantly pick up
a willing partner
ideally while shes
wearing white
cotton underwear
and kissing her
against a wall. No
sit-ups, no chinups. Just lift up
women repeatedly.
Use your legs not
your back. This is
literally all Ryan
Reynolds does to
stay in shape.

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