COMPLIMENTARY

FEBRUARY 2016, VOL. 14 ISSUE 1

Publisher / Editor
Mike Strong

Table of Contents

Sales Manager

FAMILY FEST ............................4

Dottie Godberry

LAYNE’S JEWELRY ..................11

Staff Photographer

SWEET EYES W/ TANYA.... ....12

Jimmy Dunkley

FOR MORE INFORMATION

PROFESSIONAL ARCHIVE.............24

225.622.3262
www.riverparishfoods.com

Contributing Writers
Bill Delaune

JAMMIN’ WITH GOOSIE........ 29
BILL DELAUNE........................ 30

Linda Melancon
Calvin Bessonett

Bully
Goosie Guice
Orhan McMillan
Mireworks
Kellie Seymour
Tanya Stilley
Brandt Bourque
Jimmy Dunkley

For Advertising
Information Please call:
225-622-1324

E-Mail Comments
to Stronggraphics1@cox.net
www.ascensionmagazine.net

Note: Features in this
publication labeled
“advertorial”
are paid for editorials.
All Rights Reserved.
Opinions expressed are not
necessarily those of the
publisher, editor or staff of Ascension Magazine

18386 Little Prairie Rd.
Prairieville, LA 70769

THOUGHTS FROM BULLY.....34
LSU BASEBALL OUTLOOK.....38

St. Elizabeth Hosts
2016 Family Fest

More than 1,000 turned out for
St. Elizabeth’s annual Family
Fest held on January 30th at
the Lamar Dixon Trade Mart
Building in Gonzales.
Themed, Adventures in Health,
participants were treated to a
variety offerings in one of five
distinct areas: Play, Thrive,
Prevent, Shop, and Eat.

There was something for
everyone from the young to
the young at heart. “As the
predominant provider of
healthcare in Ascension,
St. Elizabeth takes its
obligation to improve the
health and well-being of the
people of this area seriously,”
said Jon Hirsch, Director of
Marketing. “The Family Fest is
a fun way to get people to
focus on preventing chronic
illnesses down the road. The
children are being active while
having a great time playing on

the numerous inflatables and
playing outdoor games with
BREC on the Geaux.
Meanwhile their parents and
grandparents are taking
advantage of the many
screenings offered at Family
Fest. And if we discover
through screening that
someone’s blood sugar levels
are high, for instance, we can
provide the tools they need
for early treatment. So, it’s
a win-win-win.”

In addition to the free health
screenings, games and
inflatables for the children,
Family Fest featured free food
samples from area restaurants,
interactive exhibits, live
entertainment and shopping.
Every family received a
complementary “monkey” sling
sack, and many lucky
participants left with a
door prize.

One member of the community
underscored the importance of
St. Elizabeth’s Family Fest
posting to Face Book “this
health fair quite possibly saved
my life.” When she had her
blood pressure checked it was
so high that she ended up in
the emergency room. She had
no history of high blood
pressure and no idea that it
was so high.

Among the more than 65
vendor booths, The Ascension
Fund’s booth invited guests to

4

try their singing skills with
karaoke, while the Premier
Lanes booth gave fest-goers a
hand at bowling. Face painting
provided by a professional
artist proved to be a hit again
this year, and there were many
opportunities for participants to
learn more about health care
conditions and services offered
in our community.

“Many, many people helped to
make this event a success,”
said Hirsch. “There were
scores of volunteers,
representatives from area
establishments, and physicians
and providers from within and
outside our St. Elizabeth
family. Members of
St. Elizabeth Hospital’s
Women’s Advisory Council
members also gave of
their time to make this event
uniquely successful for the
local community and its
families.”

Hirsch also added his thanks
to the sponsors of this year’s
Family Fest:

Stage Sponsor

EATEL
Expedition Sponsors
AmeriHealth Caritas Louisiana
Atlas Dermatology
MedCare
Outpost Sponsors
Ascension Children’s Dental
Baton Rouge Physical Therapy
Lake

Community Coffee
Lake Urgent Care
Parker Orthodontics
Rotolo’s Pizzeria
Smith Chiropractic
Zaxby’s

“These companies
contributed to the quality of
the event, and enabled the
provision of many screenings
and exhibits,” he said.

5

Chamber Honors 2015
Success at Annual Awards Banquet
The Ascension Chamber of
Commerce honored their 2015
Ambassador, Individual, New
Business, Small Business and

Large Business of the Year at its
Annual Awards Banquet held
Tuesday, February 2, 2016 at
Houmas House Plantation.

Attendees began their evening
by networking with fellow
Chamber members during a social hour, followed by an

6

elegant dinner.
After dinner, the Chamber celebrated the dedication and com-

For more than 19 years, we have developed, owned and
managed senior housing communities throughout
Louisiana and Georgia that provide alternative living
arrangements for seniors combining wellness, independence
and personal care in a warm dignified setting with over
100 years of personal and professional experience.

“COME JOIN OUR AZALEA FAMILY

AND LET US BE YOUR NEW HOME
AWAY FROM HOME!”
mitment of their 2015 Award
Nominees. The program was
led by Chamber President/CEO
Sherrie Despino and Board
Chairman Bridget Hanna, Ascension Parish Clerk of Court.

2305 S. Purpera Avenue, Gonzales, LA 70737
225.644.1028

Rae Milano, Chairman of the
Ambassador Committee introduced the 2015 Ambassadors.
Those ambassadors in attendance were Crystal Bergeron,
Mike Bonfanti, Tracy Browning,

7

Sheena Falgoust, Terri Kaaihue, Jenny
Heroman, Jane Mathews, Jada Mayon,
Aleaha Morgan, Shawn Nolan and Cheryl
Rice. Individual of the Year nominees
were Tracy Browning, Executive Director
of Ascension Parish Tourism, Gasper Chifici, Vice-President Burk-Kleinpeter, Inc.
and Jacob Waguespack of Faulk & Winkler. 2015 New Business of the Year Nominees were Guaranty Media, Kristina
Cusick- Pennant Real Estate and NOLA
Lending Group, A Division of Fidelity
Bank. 2015 Small Business of the Year

8

nominees were Action Therapy
& Wellness Center, LLC, Express Employment Professionals, Gulf South Technology
Solutions and River Parish Security Systems. 2015 Large
Business of the Year nominees
were Ascension Parish Sheriff’s
Office, Baton Rouge Physical
Therapy Lake, EATEL and
EFCU Financial.

The Chamber is proud to announce Shawn Nolan as the
2015 Ambassador of the Year,
Jacob Waguespack as the 2015
Individual of the Year, Guaranty Media as the 2015 New
Business of the Year, Gulf
South Technology Solutions as
the 2015 Small Business of the
Year and Ascension Parish Sheriff’s Office as the 2015 Large
Business of the Year. Mike

Cypress Hall

Weddings • Business Seminars
Crawfish Boils • Reunions
Located behind Frank's Restaurant.
Accommodates 250 guests.
Menu and prices available on line at franksrestaurantla.net

Full wedding
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Full bar available.

Catering Coordinator:

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Bonfanti, Bonfanti Investments,
was also recognized for outstanding service as the top producer in the Chamber’s 2015
Total Resource Campaign.
The Ascension Chamber would
like to thank Corporate Sponsors St. Elizabeth, EATEL,

L’Auberge, R.J. Daigle & Sons
Contractors, LLC, Cox Business, Regions Bank, BASF, Rubicon, Louisiana Staffing
Services, LLC and Waguespack
& Associates Insurance. The
Chamber would also like to
thank Houmas House for the
accommodations.

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Similar to a favorite pair of blue
jeans, you can never go wrong
with a fabulous pair of gold or
sterling silver hoop earrings.
Whether embellished with
gemstones, charms, or beads,
hoops will work with almost any

This season’s go-to fashion accessory has been around and
around and yet it is back again.

Size: Don’t go larger than the
palm of your hand.
Style: The hoop will work for
you whether embellished,
smooth or textured.
Color: Whether it’s sterling
silver, yellow gold, white gold
or this season’s popular pink
gold, all work well with any
outfit.

Did you know!
Recently, the 1970’s era has
flooded fashion and award

Birthstones
February - Amethyst.

Hoops are
Hopping
with Layne Gautreau

Suggestions for wearing
hoops confidently:

outfit from school to office or a
night out on the town.
Long known for setting trends,
fashion-forward actress Angelina Jolie was recently spotted
wearing a slim and streamlined
pair of yellow gold hoops. One
does not need to resemble Mrs.
Jolie Pitt to
wear hoop earrings, as an extraordinarily simple pair of
hoops can create an exceptionally striking look for anyone.

11

For those born in February, sincerity is the personal trait usually associated with this
beautiful form of precious
quartz. Sparkling and trans¬parent amethyst can range from
pale lilac to
deep purple

shows across the globe. Soft
silhouettes, pastels, fringe, flora,
fauna and reptile motifs were
spotted mingling with yellow
gold and white diamonds. At
this year’s Golden Globe
Awards, top jewelry trends included diamond fringe
earrings, open, lacey diamond
bib style necklaces, and the star
of the show, was the diamond
studded snake necklace seen
slithering around Naomi
Watts’ neck.

Artis Elite Oval 8

What makes Artis
brushes so different:

Become a
Makeup
Artist with
Artis Brushes

• Engineered CosmeFibre® Filament - These fibers make up
these brushes for a flawless
application. Each CosmeFibrefilament is only a few microns in
diameter. According to
artis.com, the fine tip blends at
a microscopic level that blends
makeup in a pattern that cannot
be seen to the naked eye.

I recently heard about a
revolutionary line of makeup
brushes created by Artis. I got
the Artis Elite Oval 10 and Artis
Elite Oval 8 for Christmas, and
the results are amazing.

• Retains shape – The CosmeFibre® material has shape
memory, so application after
application, the shape of the
fibers hold true, unlike
typical makeup brushes.
• Use less Product CosmeFibre® filaments help
pick up and lay down product,
so you use less makeup. I can
use one pump of foundation
and it goes over my entire face!

Artis Elite Oval 10

Artis Elite Oval 8

Artis Elite Oval 10 –
Available at retailers and
artis.com Retail $75.00

Artis Elite Oval 8 –
Available at retailers and
artis.com Retail Price $65.00

With over 250,000 fibers that
make up this brush, it applies
makeup to larger parts of the
body flawlessly. I use this for
highlighters on the face and
décolleté’ and for smoothing
out powder and blush on the
cheeks. This brush is so easy
to use and applies powders
like a thin veil of heaven.

This is the brush I would
choose over all others. It’s
slightly smaller than the oval
10, and is great for applying
foundation to the face. I’ve
never had a brush apply
foundation in such a flawless
manner. I use less foundation
and apply makeup more evenly
with less effort.

12

• Animal Free – Artis brushes
aren’t animal based. (Typical
high end makeup brushes use
animal bristles.) No only are
they cruelty free, they are also
good for those who have animal
allergies.
Yes, Artis brushes are pricey,
but I figure I’ll save in the
amount of foundation I use on
a daily basis. Also, the time I
save in application is well
worth the cost as well. If you
had to choose one brush, go
for the Elite 8. In my opinion
it’s the best all purpose brush
for your buck.

How does laser hair
removal work?
Lasers emit a light at a specific
wavelength that is known to be
absorbed by the pigment (color)
in the hair follicle — without
damaging the surrounding skin.
The light is converted to heat energy, which in turns disables the
hair follicle so that it will not
produce another hair.

How many sessions
does it take to achieve
the best results?
On average, most people
require six sessions spaced four to
six weeks apart depending on the
area being treated. This will result
in 80-85% permanent
hair reduction. Once or twice a
year maintenance treatment
is recommended to
maintain results.

How soon do I
expect to see results?
You may see approximately
10 to 25 percent reduction in the
growth of the hair from each appropriately spaced treatment. The
results will depend upon many
factors including how dark your
skin is, the texture and color of
the hair, the growth phase of the
hair follicle, and your body’s response to the laser.

Is laser hair removal
for all skin types?
Yes, our laser can treat all skin
types. However not all hair color.
The laser energy is only attracted
to hair with pigment or color and
is not effective on white, grey,
light red or
blonde hair.

Does laser
hair removal hurt?
Generally, laser
hair removal is
not painful. We
can add topical
numbing for improved
comfort.
The level of
discomfort depends on the
treated area,
the texture of
the hair, and skin.

13

GRAND OPENING
One Day Event

Saturday, MARCH 5th 10am – 5pm
Prayer of Dedication and Ribbon Cutting @ 10am
Door Prizes EVERY THIRTY MINUTES
Special Sales throughout the Entire Shoppe!!!
13489 Hwy 431 Suite C, St. Amant, LA 70774 ( Near the Church of St. Amant ) • 225.999.4438 • 225.999.GIFT

Eclectic assortment of decor,
garden, and outdoor accents.
Gwen Kohan

"Check out the homemade soaps!"

Offering a variety of vintage
items & collectables.
Also unique pieces of painted
& distressed furniture.
Pam Cambre Louque

Come check this "Place" out Y’all!!

Specializing in vintage
jewelry, antique furniture,
fine china, and glassware

Specializing in farmhouse
decor, painted furniture
and vintage items.

Pam Delaune

Annette Bates
& Denise Hebert

Specializing in Small
Furniture, Rustic, Garden
and Handmade Items

Specializing in Distressed
Furniture and Vintage Décor

Come see our wonderful shop!

Ruth Hanson

Treasures Await

Come in & see what's new at our nest!

Barbara Villemarette
Praise the Lord!!!

Food
Festival
to be Held
March 29

Plans are underway for the
2016 Gonzales Rotary Club
Food Festival. This annual
event, to be held this year on
March 29th, is a collaboration
of area Restaurants, and local
food vendors who come
together for a taste of the
great food offered in our area.

“We are so thankful for their
participation and look forward
to this year’s event,” stated by
Gary Laiche, Food Festival
Chairman. Last year over 500
people community members
participated to help feed the
needy in our community.

Tickets are $25.00 in advance
and can be purchased at the
Gonzales City Hall, 128 Irma

Gonzales Rotary Club Food Festival Committee Members: Seated (l-r) Tracy Browning, Glenda Shaheen, Sheena Falgoust. Standing (l-r)
Dr. James Jeansonne, Rae Milano, Bill Myhand, Craig Walling, Anna Sparacino, Gary Laiche, Lyman Abadie and Willie Robinson.

Boulevard, or at the office of
Dr. James Jeansonne, 1116
Purpera Avenue, Gonzales.
Tickets may also be purchased
through any member of the
Gonzales Rotary Club prior to
the event or at the door for $30
on the day of the event. All are
invited to come and enjoy this
community event in support of
the St. Theresa Food Bank.

Don’t forget to bring a canned
good to the event!

About Rotary
Rotary brings together a global
network of volunteer leaders
dedicated to tackling the
world’s most pressing
humanitarian challenges.
Rotary connects 1.2 million
members of more than 34,000

15

Rotary clubs in over 200
countries and geographical
areas. Their work impacts
lives at both the local and
international levels, from
helping families in need in their
own communities to working
toward a polio-free world. For
more information, visit Rotary.

16

17

Who is the Best
Gumbo Cook?

Gumbo Cooks
Wanted
Fred’s on the river is hosting
a gumbo cook off Saturday
March 19th. The entry fee is
$25 and you must cook at least
3 gallons.
No Seafood! Chicken and
sausage style only.
1st, 2nd and 3rd place trophies
and money. Also a people’s
choice award. 100% payback
to the cooks. Cooks can sign
up and get a flyer at Fred’s on
the River or call Scott at

225-717-1977.

The gumbo will be sold to the
public, 3 bowls for $10.
Come eat or cook your last
gumbos of the winter. Summer
is just around the corner.

Gumbo Cooking
Contest, March 19th.
18

Emoji: More Than
Just A Smiley Face
by Orhan Mc Millan
dezinsINTERACTIVE

Everything in marketing and
communication revolves
around engagement and now
that is highly influenced by a
little yellow smiley face, a
heart or some sort of other
emoji.Yes, the emoji is the
next big thing in
communication. We are
living in the age of the emoji.
What is it? An emoji is
simply a digital icon.
It is now highly suggested
that emojis be implemented
in marketing campaigns. This
is great being that while
social media has grown,
character count has done
the opposite. So, what better
way to get your point across
than by using a simple little
icon other wise known as
an emoji.

The use of emojis, are doing
something that can be
difficult to do with words
alone and that is express
emotion. People simply react
better to visuals. Scientist
have found that looking at a
smiley face or a sad face
online, activates specific
parts of the brain just as
when we look at a real
human face. This affects
marketing because it has
been proven that human
faces are attention grabbers.
Many brands have integrated
the emoji in their marketing
campaigns. Domino's being
the first brand to actually
allow customers to order
using an emoji via twitter.

General Electric is another
brand to utilize emojis. They
retold a story by Popular
Mechanics using emojis.
Brands are now able to tell a
story using one character
count instead of hundreds of
words. PETA, IKEA, and Bud
Light, are among other large
brands to implement emojis
in their marketing strategies.

These little digital icons are
taking over, so platforms are
now being created to
measure engagement and the
effect it is having on both
brands and consumers.
Zoomph now has an Emojis
Report feature of their social
analytics platform. This
feature allows brands to see
how emojis associated with
an instance of its name,
which is shown via an emoji
cloud. It also gathers location
and user demographics such
as ethnicity and gender.
Instagram has made it
possible to hashtag emojis,
which allowed for the access
of real data on the usage and
the meaning behind them.

Knowing how emojis are
now affecting engagement,
you may want to go back to
that social media post you
have scheduled, eliminate a
According to Swyft Media,
few words and replace them
74 percent of U.S. population
with a simple digital icon
use stickers or some sort of
(emoji).
emoji, on average sending 96
emojis or stickers per day.
This brings the total to
6 billion emojis and stickers
being used around the
world daily!

Although we are living in
the digital age, actual human
interaction is still vital.
Unfortunately, we don’t
always get this type of
interpersonal communication. This could also be a
factor in the rise of the
emoji. Studies have shown
that we react to emojis like
we would a real human face.
19

Cosmetic
Denistry
By Calvin Bessonet, DDS,FAGD
Ascension Premier Dental

How Can My Dentist Improve My Smile?
From subtle changes to major repairs, your dentist can perform a variety of procedures to improve your
smile. There are many techniques and
options to treat teeth that are
discolored, chipped, misshapen or
missing. Your dentist can reshape your
teeth, close spaces, restore worn or
short teeth or alter the length of your
teeth. Common procedures include
bleaching, bonding, crowns, veneers
and reshaping and contouring.
These improvements are not always
just cosmetic. Many of these treatments can improve oral problems,
such as your bite.

Bleaching
Bleaching is a common and popular
chemical process used to whiten teeth.
Some people get their teeth bleached
to make stains disappear, while other
just want a whiter shade.
Discoloration occurs in the enamel
and can be caused by medication,
coffee, tea and cigarettes. Discoloration also can be hereditary or due
simply to getting older.
Bleaching can be performed by
your dentist in the office or, under
dental supervision, at home. Many patients enjoy bleaching at home because
it is more convenient. Treatment begins when your dentist creates a custom mouthpiece to ensure the correct

amount of
whitening solution is used and that
your teeth are properly exposed. Typically, whitening at home takes two to
four weeks, depending on the desired
shade you wish to achieve. Whitening
in the office may call for one or more
45-minute to one-hour visits to your
dentist's office.

Bonding
Bonding is tooth-colored material
used to fill in gaps or change the color
of teeth. Requiring a single office visit,
bonding lasts several years. Bonding is
more susceptible to staining or
chipping than other forms of
restoration. When teeth are chipped or
slightly decayed, bonded composite
resins may be the material of choice.
Bonding also is used as a toothcolored filling for small cavities. Additionally, it can be used to close spaces
between teeth or cover the entire outside surface of a tooth to change its
color and shape.

Crowns
Crowns, also known as caps, cover a
tooth to restore it to its normal shape
and appearance. Due to their cost,
they are used in cases where other procedures will not be effective. Crowns
have the longest life
expectancy of all cosmetic
restorations, but are the most
time-consuming.

Veneers
Veneers are thin pieces of porcelain
or plastic placed over the front teeth
to change the color or shape of your
teeth. Veneers are used on teeth with
uneven surfaces or are chipped,
discolored, oddly shaped, unevenly
spaced or crooked. Little or no

anesthesia is needed. Veneers are used
to treat some of the same problems
as bonding.
This treatment is an alternative to
crowns, which are more expensive.
The procedure requires your dentist to
take an impression of your tooth. Before the custom-made veneer is cemented directly onto the tooth, your
dentist will lightly buff the tooth to
compensate for the added thickness of
the veneer. Once the cement is between the veneer and your tooth, a
light beam is used to harden it. Porcelain veneers require more than one
visit because they are fabricated in a
laboratory. Veneers have a longer life
expectancy and color stability than
bonding.

Contouring and Reshaping
Tooth reshaping and contouring, is
a procedure to correct crooked teeth,
chipped or irregularly shaped teeth or
even overlapping teeth in a single
session. Tooth reshaping and
contouring, is commonly used to alter
the length, shape or position of your
teeth. Contouring teeth may also help
correct small problems with bite. It is
common for bonding to be combined
with tooth reshaping.
This procedure is ideal for candidates with normal, healthy teeth but
who want subtle changes to their
smile. Your dentist will take X-rays to
evaluate the size and location of the
pulp of each tooth to ensure that
there's enough bone between the
teeth to support them.

Which procedure is
right for me?
Your dentist can answer any
questions you may have about
techniques used to improve your

smile. The condition of your teeth and
desired result you want often
dictates the best procedure. If you are
considering a treatment, there are a
few questions you can ask your dentist
before deciding if a particular procedure is right for you.

What will the changes
look like?
• What should I expect through the
course of treatment?
• What type of maintenance will
be required?
• What should I look for in a
cosmetic dentist?
In order to make sure your dentist is
skilled in cosmetic dentistry, the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry
(AACD) recommends that you ask
your dentist for the following items
before undergoing treatment:
Before and after photos. These
photos will allow you to examine the
results of other patients being treated
by the dentist to make sure his or her
work fits your dental needs.
References.
References allow you to get a sense
of the quality of care the dentist
provides.
Proof of continuing education.
Be certain that your dentist has
taken continuing education courses
to keep him or her up-to-date with the
latest techniques in clinical
cosmetic dentistry.
Your dentist can answer the
questions you have about the
techniques used to improve your
smile. The condition of your teeth and
your desired result often indicate the
best procedure for you.

HEALTHY
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20

Ascension
PREMIER DENTAL

Calvin G. Bessonet, DDS, FAGD

225.673.6910 • www. AscensionDentist.com

SAME GREAT PHYSICAL THERAPY SERVICES IN A NEW LOCATION
Conveniently located on Hwy 73 across the street from Dutchtown Elementary School at

13053 Highway 73, Suite B Geismar, Louisiana 70734.

The new state of the art facility will continue to have the same great one on one care that has made us

"Your Community Physical Therapy Provider" for over 8 years.

We are thankful for the trust from the
physicians and the community that allows
us to help Dutchtown and
Geismar residents with their
physical therapy needs.
We look forward to continuing
to grow with you in the
coming years.

Stephen Jackson, PT, DPT

DUTCHTOWN PHYSICAL THERAPY
13053 HIGHWAY 73, SUITE B
GEISMAR, LOUISIANA 70734

21

(225) 744-3631 • fax (225) 744-3647

YOUR ESTATE MATTERS
By Linda Melancon
think about when planning ahead
in the digital age.

Estate Planning
in the
Digital Age
When you begin thinking about
estate planning and which assets
to leave to certain family
members or friends, the china,
photo albums, or expensive
jewelry may come to mind. But
what about your Facebook
account, your online banking
account, or a personal website?
As we increasingly rely on
technology for our social,
consumer and business activities,
it’s essential that individuals
include their digital assets in the
legal documents that protect their
legacy. Here are a few things to

1) Know what your digital assets
are. Computers, iPhones, and
hard drives are tangible assets,
but the non-tangible, electronic
data they contain falls under the
category of digital assets and is
often password protected. These
assets range from ones of pure
sentimental value, like family
photos on social media sites or
email correspondence, to assets
that carry monetary potential –
such as PayPal accounts, company
websites, etc.. In fact, a 2013
McAfee study showed that the
average consumer has digitally
stored assets worth approximately
$35,000. Unfortunately, an estate
executor may be unable to pay
certain bills or even unaware of
their existence in cases where this
digital property was left out of an
estate plan. To prevent this, take
time to make a complete
inventory of your digital assets
and what should be done with
each of them at the time of your
death or disability.
2) Understand your service user
agreements. We tend to click “I
have read and accepted these
terms of service.” when we sign
up for online accounts without

thinking of the implications these
agreements may have on our
loved ones who are tasked with
settling our estates after we’re
gone. While Facebook allows you
to designate a “Legacy Contact”
to monitor your account if
something happens to you,
Yahoo! specifically states that user
accounts may not be transferred
to a different user and will be
permanently deleted with all
content upon proof of a user’s
death. It’s also important to
recognize that eBooks or iTunes
files are licensed to – not owned
by – the consumer and may not
be given away at death like
other assets.
3) Discuss legal directives for
digital assets with your attorney.
Discuss your digital assets with
your attorney to make sure that
you, your estate, and your
beneficiaries are protected. You
may need to incorporate language
in your wills, trusts or powers of
attorney to account for these
assets. It’s always discouraging
to hear of parents who went
through 8 weeks of court
processes to gain access to a
child’s computer or a spouse who
was denied their loved one’s
records – not because the
deceased denied them access, but
simply because those digital assets
were not considered in their
estate planning.

regularly manage your digital
assets, consider making it a yearly
or quarterly habit to download
online pictures, family videos or
documents – especially ones from
accounts that will be deleted by
the service provider at the time of
your death. Also consider leaving
a list of usernames and passwords
in one secure location. There are
many online providers where you
can store all of your usernames
and passwords. Finally, for true
business enterprisers, make sure
that you have a qualified appraiser
value your digital assets for tax
and estate planning purposes.
Many individuals already have
estate planning documents that
don’t mention directives for
digital assets. Living in the digital
age may mean that some of your
most important records aren’t in
your home where a successor can
walk through and find them.
Don’t wait until it’s too late to
make your digital assets a part of
your legacy!

Mrs. Melancon has engaged in the practice of
law in Louisiana for the past 17 years. The
primary focus of her practice is estate planning,
special needs planning, elder law and probate.
She is also accredited by the VA to give advice
regarding veterans’ benefits. For more
information, please contact her at
225-744-0027. You may also visit her website
at www.LegacyCenterLa.com

While it may be burdensome to

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Hey Dr. Rob,
I have a question,
after my nap.

Me too,
after my nap.

The Deer Dilemma
Whitetails were not always abundant in most states in this nation.
Deer restocking programs in the
1950's and '60's changed the situation dramatically. The finding of a
deer track became big news in localities and the actual sighting of a
whitetail often made the newspaper
in those days. As years slowly passed,
America's most popular big game
animals began to take up residence
across the country. Fish and game
agencies did a great job of steering
the restocking programs.
The small herds began to grow
and both males and females of the
species were afforded protection. In
most cases when the herd reached
their potential, harvesting of bucks
only became legal. As time progressed, harvesting of female deer
entered the picture. These so called
doe days varied, but for the most
part lasted for only three or four
days a year. This scenario lasted for
quite some time but in my opinion,
the harvesting of female deer began
to get out of hand. The Deer Assistance Management Program was an
excellent way of controlling deer
herds, but the number of doe tags
that could be used on any day of a
three or four month season was
ridiculously high. Archery seasons
became longer. The once exciting
primitive arms season became longer
and for whatever reason the decision
was made that actual bullets of certain calibers would be allowed during that season. At one point, in
many areas of our state a female deer
could be taken at any time during
our forever long season.
In the past few years our wildlife
officials have discovered that we
don't have the amount of deer they
thought we had. They lay the blame
on the feral hog invasion, the maturing of our forest habitat, hunters not
reporting their kill, floods, hurricanes, etc. I'm sure some of these
things factor in for the low number
count, but I feel the agencies are a
victim of their own success by allowing hunters to harvest too many doe
deer. The clubs that did not allow
huge antlerless harvests still have
plenty deer. Just watch those whitetail programs on T.V. They all talk
about doe harvest, but it's funny

that when one of their beautiful
bucks enter a plot they always seem
to be surrounded by a herd of doe
deer. They sure didn't shoot all of
theirs. Let's play this scenario out.
We are all allowed six deer tags.
How long do you think that you
would belong to your club if the
group allowed every member to fill
those tags. Six deer tags are ridiculous. By the way if you are one of
those that lose or fill your tags you
can just go get some more, in that
case the limit can be whatever you
choose.
I have killed my share of antlerless
deer in the past and hopefully in the
future there will be more to come.
It's definitely a needed management
tool. I have no problem with reasonable doe harvests in habitats that
support that need. Our game agencies have a tough job before them
having to manage the harvest of deer
from different localities and habitats
of this diverse state. I'm not sure
that they really know what to do
about deer seasons and limits because they are constantly changing
things. They now say that they are
going to make some changes to next
year's deer season. Hopefully I'm
wrong, but I doubt seriously that
they'll do very much to make a significant difference in the antlerless
take for the fear of making some
people angry. I feel that the reason
that they want low whitetail numbers is because of pressure from automobile insurance companies,
farmers, and foresters. If they would
only admit it, it would be so much
easier to accept...

Till Next Time,
Slack off on
The if it's brown it's down" approach

James "Goosie" Guice

ASCENSION PA RISH

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29

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Website www.BeebesPest.com

Don’t Monkey with Another’s Monkey with
Private Investigator Sam Stone

by Bill Delaune

T.S. Eliot once wrote that “April
is the cruelest month.”
Well, apparently Thomas Sterns
never sat through the winter of
2016 in an office the size of Bobby
Jindal’s heart waiting for a phone
to ring with a client of any kind on
the other end.
Things were so bad that I’d quit
singing to the Elvis poster on the
wall with my beat-up Martin guitar
and tried to rearrange the words
on my door-“Sam Stone, P.I.”-to
see what I could come up with.
So far, the best I had done was
“Piss on team” which could have
been any sporting squad I had
wagered on in the month of
January. I’d had more losers
in the first part of 2016 than a
300-pound jockey and not a
single client had called to help
foot the bill.
Now it was February 2-Groundhog’s Day. My dad had been born
on this day and his dad before him.
I had ended that tradition by
arriving in March-a Pisces working
for scale-and my instincts told me
that something fishy was about
to transpire.
Then-just like Punxsutawney
Phil-she popped up. Trouble
walking through my door in
4-inch stilettos at the end of a pair
of legs that should have been
running in the feature race at
Evangeline Downs.
“Are you Stone?” she asked in a
voice so raspy you could have
sharpened a pocket knife on it.
“I was for most of 1969 but I
didn’t inhale,” I replied. “What
can I do for you?”
“I need to find a missing person.
He has something of value that
belongs to me.”
“I see. And what is the name of
this would-be perpetrator?”
“D’Andre Wong.”
“And yours?”
“Honey Stinger.”
Not only was I as desperate as a
Cajun in a crawfish famine for a
job but I couldn’t let this
marvelous model of a marlin slip
off my line.
“What’s he got of yours?” I was
thinking of a diamond maybe as
big as Yankee Stadium’s but that
was not the case.
“He grabbed my puppies, stole
my baby and snatched my monkey.
Now you do the leg work (Believe
me-I’d done plenty already.) and
I’ll explain more when I pick you
up for lunch tomorrow.”
Wong’s trail was as easy to follow
as elephant with diarrhea. Like
many other South Louisiana males,
he was a huge fan of LSU and
NFL football and he was also what

I liked to call a 4-G man. That
is-his hobbies consisted of golf,
guitars, gambling and –on
occasion-go-go girls.
A man with that many
weaknesses shouldn’t be that
difficult to find. In fact, I was
surprised we hadn’t run into each
other somewhere before. And I
had a pretty good idea where we
might find Wong on this cold
February morning.
Honey picked me up in the
Prairieville CBD around noon-her
blond hair streaming behind her in
a black Corvette, looking not
unlike the goddess Aphrodite in an

cruelty or sexual abuse. Perhaps
you could enlighten me.”
“We worked at a marketing firm
together on a job for a big Super
Bowl ad,” she began. “ I had this
creative idea to combine the most
popular items of the past yearpuppies, other animals and babies
into one lovable character called
‘Puppymonkeybaby’ and I even
wrote a little jingle it could sing.
Wong said that was the stupidest
thing he’d ever heard and convinced our boss to scrap the
project. Then he stole my idea and
sold it to Mountain Dew who’s
going to use it to introduce their

ebony chariot.
“Where to?” she asked.
I told her I figured there was
only one place that Wong would
frequent on this date-the LSU
football recruiting party-aka the
Bayou Bash-conveniently located
at the River City Center right
between two downtown casinos.
“Too cold for golf, too early for
music or strippers. That leaves
Tiger football and gambling. He’s
got to be there,” I reasoned.
“You’re not as stupid as you
look,” Honey said.
“Nobody is,” I admitted. “Now
about this case…I’m not sure I’m
dealing with kidnapping, animal

new energy drink. All I want is my
copyright back and the money they
paid him,” she cried.
We arrived at the Bash armed
with a pair of “Vendor” badges I
had scored from my
connections at Edwin Watts.
“What if someone asks me a golf
question?” Honey inquired.
“Tell them they need a stiffer
shaft and more durable balls,” I
advised. “Now you go in that
direction and I’ll check the VIP
section and we’ll meet back at the
Pot and Paddle booth.”
Now considering the fact there
were over 4,000 fanatics there,
swilling puke beer and

alternately cheering and booing
every time some 17-year old kid
announced his college preference,
we didn’t do too bad.
We found LSU legend Jerry
Stovall, LSU and Saints great
Dalton Hilliard, radio celebrity
Jimmy Ott and a guy who owed
my money from the 1988
Kentucky Derby. I also sold a
couple of Titleist visors and a
torturous device guaranteed to
make you keep your head down.
But we didn’t find Wong.
We made a pass through the
casino and came up empty-both on
our quest for Wong and at the
blackjack table.
“You really got some bad cards,”
she consoled.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “I had more
15’s and 16’s than Rob Lowe.
The only 21’s I saw today were
Stovall and Hilliard.”
She dropped me off back at my
office over my protests.
“Come on, Honey. It’s still
early. The night still has braces on
its teeth.”
“Get some rest, Card Shark. I’ll
see you tomorrow.”
I waited for her on Thursday
longer that Forrest Gump waited
for that bus. She finally bopped
into my cramped quarters around
seven that evening humming an
old Buddy Holley song called
“Peggy Sue”.
“Where have you been out
gadding, my Ice Princess?” I asked
trying to mask my anxiety.
“Yesterday was February 3,” she
explained. “It was ‘The Day the
Music Died’. I’ve been at a Buddy
Holley, Richie Valens and Big
Bopper Festival all day. I hope you
don’t mind this ‘Chantilly Lace’
that I have on.”
I resisted the urge against the old
“I know something else that would
look good on you” line and started
for the door.
“We’re headed for Carly-Co’s
Cafe,” I told her. “They’re pulling
numbers for the big Super Bowl
Board tonight and there’s music
after the drawing. Sounds like a
perfect spot for Wong to show.”
The place was packed and it
seemed everyone in the joint was
getting better numbers than my
cartel. Even with four squares, we
ended up with a mixture of
1’s,’2’s, 5’s and 9’s that only the
mother of an inmate could love.
“Too bad,” Honey comforted
looking at the disaster. “Not a 0,
3, or 7 in the bunch. And no
Wong either.”
“I’ve seen better figures at a
Rosanne Barr look-alike contest,”
I lamented. “But that is a nice

number they’re playing. Would
you like to dance?”
“I’d rather have sex with a cactus,” she shot back and headed for
the door.
I didn’t see her again until early
Saturday morning when she woke
me on the couch of my cozy
confines attempting to sleep off a
tequila binge that Gram Parsons
would have been proud of.
“I had to put a mirror under
your nose to see if you were
breathing,” she scolded. “Come
on, I’ve got a pretty good idea
where Wong is.”
The early a.m. weather was
colder than a post-Monica Hillary
Clinton and the wind was blowing
like—well, really hard.
“Where are we going at this hour
of the morning?” I stammered.
“I haven’t even thrown up yet.”
Honey had the petal to the metal
in the Vet now and we were
traveling south on I-10 at
Starship Enterprise speed.
“Pelican Point,” she answered.
“Wong’s signed up to play in a
Super Bowl Scramble out there at
8:30. Something you would know
if you spent less time with your
buddy Jose Cuervo.”
I started to say something about
only idiots playing golf in these
conditions but then I remembered
some of the things I’ve learned
about golfers over the years.
For one thing, golf is a game
where you yell “Fore”, make a
“six” and write down “five”. For
another thing, it’s the only game
that allows white, middle-aged
men to dress up like pimps. So for
50 or so
semi-intelligent golfers to venture
out in 30 degree weather with a 35
mile per hour wind howling is not
unusual as a Tom Jones 60’s hit.
The clubhouse was empty but
the scoreboard revealed some
disheartening information.
“D. Wong-WD.”
“What’s that mean?” she asked.
“Well, he’s either gone to Winn
Dixie or he had the good sense to
withdraw from this debacle,”
I answered. “How about a
Bloody Mary?”
Honey ignored my offer and
yanked me into the parking lot
with the wrath of a woman who
would not be denied.
“We’ll find him tomorrow if we
have to go to every Super Bowl
party in this parish,” she promised.
“And do something about your
breath-you could back down a
dragon right now.”
On Sunday, I made some crazy
prop bets on the game, took a
double shot of Grey Goose and
Listerine and put on an antiquated
Bronco jersey that may have been
worn by Floyd Little in the glory
days of the 60’s and 70’s.
“What is that?” she sneered eying
my apparel.
“It’s a throw-back,” I tried
to explain.
“Well, throw it back in the

trash where it belongs and let’s go
to work.”
Our first stop was at the
Gonzales Country Club where the
gin and bouree games were already
raging. The friendly banter from
my so-called cohorts was enough
to warm your heart.
“Hey, Stone! Why don’t you
crawl back in the gutter you came
out of and leave the hottie here.”
“About that horse you gave me,
Stone. He went off a 20-1 and
came in at 20 after 2.”
“Very funny, guys. Now show
what little class you have in front of
this lady. Anybody here seen
D’Andre Wong? And does anybody
know how many points Carmelo
Anthony scored in the first half?”
At the moment I’d settle for one
out of two.
One of the degenerates paused
for a moment and slurred, “I think
Wong said he was going to a house
party. And Carmelo had a bad first
half-only eight points.”
Well, there went my first gimmick bet of the day. I had taken
Anthony’s total points against
Cam Newton’s completions and
now Superman was sure to top
that total.
We arrived at Jeff Alexander and
Mike Lee’s party just in time to
watch Lady Gaga blow the
National Anthem and cost me
more money.
“She didn’t hold the “brave”
long enough and the time went
under,” informed Casey who-like
me-had bet over the 2:16 time
limit
predicted by Vegas. “I think she
was bought off,” added the King
of Conspiracy Theories.
No one had seen Wong there
either so we headed back to
Sammy’s to watch the game. Most
people there were more interested
in their numbers on the board than
the defensive struggle on the field,
and Honey glued herself to a
television in the corner carefully
perusing all the million-dollar
30-second commercials. I was
about three shots of Patron into
the evening when I heard a
blood-curdling scream.
I wheeled around to seen Honey
hurling condiments of all kinds at a
bizarre little creature on the TV
screen who seemed to be chanting,
“Puppymonkeybaby”.
“That’s my ad,” howled Honey.
“That s.o.b. stole my ad!”
I managed to calm her down and
get her back to my office where we
watched Carolina cost me more
money and Cam Newton morph
from Superman into the
Incredible Sulk.
“Don’t worry,” I began
optimistically, “we’ll find him…”
“Stone,” she was inconsolable,
“You couldn’t find a prayer in the
Bible.” And with those parting
words she stormed out.
I woke up Monday morning with
no way to hold my head that didn’t
hurt and tried to sum up my

current situation. Somehow I had
managed to lose the game, lose the
girl and lose the client. Three out
of three ain’t bad.
I was looking over the stats for
the game to see how much more
damage I could find when a
colorful ad caught my eye“Mardi Gras Mutt Parade-Krewe
of Barkus-Monday at the Great
Wall parking lot, Airline Highway,
Gonzales.”
Now every now and then,
miracles occur in this crazy, mixedup world-the ’69 Mets, Doug
Flutie, Donald Trump-and I was
hoping that this “Hail Mary” idea
of mine might actually connect.
I called Honey and told her to
meet me for lunch at the Great
Wall and she reluctantly agreed.
“Are you going to consult fortune
cookies today?” she sneered.
But she wasn’t sneering when we
arrived at the Chinese buffet and
saw the camera crew filming a dog
parade chasing a paper dragon who
was munching on a king cake.
“See anybody you know?” I
asked pointing to a Tiger Woods
look-alike behind a camera.
“That’s not Wong-but it’s his
brother!” she squealed.
At that moment, a hungry
Dachshund caught hold of the
dragon’s tale and pulled the
costume off to reveal another
Tiger duplicate.
“That’s Wong!” Honey shouted.
Now in my business, you need
friends in low places-but you need

a few pals in law enforcement also.
I’d rolled the dice on a hunch and
booked a couple of Ascension
Parish’s finest to accompany me to
the parade.
“Book ‘em, Dano,” I said in my
best Hawaii Five-O voice.
“Copyright infringement.” I
resisted a “Two Wongs don’t make
a right” parting shot and turned
back to Honey who was eyeing me
with confused admiration.
“But…how…when…what?”
“Elementary, my dear.” I was
trying not to gloat. “I figured
Wong would try to promote his
product at a spot where he could
incorporate puppies, monkeys and
babies while the ad was hot.”
“The babies came from the king
cake and the puppies, obviously
from the parade.”
“But what about the monkeys?”
“Today is Chinese New Year’sthe Year of the Monkey. That’s
why he chose the Great Wall.”
The admiration in her eyes had
turned to another look that I
hadn’t gotten from a woman since
the last bet I’d won.
“Stone, I take back everything I
ever said about you,” she cooed.
“Say, are you kin to
Fred Flintstone?”
“Not that I know of-but I do
like old-fashioned women.”
“Because tonight I’m going to
make your Bedrock!”
I have a feeling my luck is finally
starting to change…

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31

Doug & Sally

Austin & the DJ’s
Jammin’ at Park Place

This past month I had a night out on the town and headed to
Park Place to listen to some music. When I arrived I saw it was a
band I had never heard of, Austin & the DJ’s. It turns out Austin
and the DJ's is a band that was started as a just for fun, jam band
by members of various established bands. The band consists of
Austin Savoy of Sofa Kings on vocals, Justin Edmonds of
Differences Aside on rhythm guitar and vocals, Josh Russell of Sofa
Kings on lead guitar, Jordan Snyder of Gillis
Silo on bass, and Dave Madaffari of Nickelback (roadie) on drums.
Amazing! No matter where I go in Gonzales to hear live music
I am always impressed. These guys had a lot of fun and rocked
the house. I hope to see them again some day.

32

33

Thoughts from Bully
Superbowl
Rib-Off
Crowns
a First Time
Champion

Bruce

Wesley

Sous-Chef for Leighton at
Sullivan’s, determined if Leighton
could win he certainly could. I’m
cooking against professionals
again.
On a beautiful morning the
contest began and the tricks had
begun. I had cut some special

Big Luke

2 Time Champion

Shake

2 Time Champion
The morning of this year’s Super
Bowl Rib-Off started like so many
years before with ‘High Hopes’
that I may break through and win,
finally.
Unlike years past I didn’t bring
any good luck charms or place
voodoo dolls around to sabotage

Kyle
smoking wood and stacked it. As I
approached my wood I discovered
it was gone.
It just so happens my lawn maintenance company is owned by one
of my competitors. He cleaned up
my yard for the event and didn’t
remember taking the wood but
said, “If it’s here it is in the burn
trash pile. Sure enough I found my
wood and I am stillwondering if he
tried to sabotage me.
I followed a new cooking
technique recommended by Tee

Jason

Blue

worked against my score. Now I
know what the judges are looking
for and I’m ready to kick some
family butt.
Last year I came in second

1 Time Champion
the other cooks. I did something
brilliant. I asked about the rules
and how the ribs were judged. In
the past, I’ve been cooking knuckle
sucking tender ribs that actually

Wayne and it drove me crazy not
flipping my meat. However it
seemed to pay off.
I’ve been a brides maid the last 2
years finishing second and this year
I finished 3rd. I guess that makes
me a flower girl.
The sous-chef Jason came in
second and Bruce a long time
veteran cook breaks through for
his first win.
I was feeling a little let down for
my 3rd place finish until I saw the
final score sheet of the judges.
I was 3 points from 1st place
which tells me I am right there. I
will tweak my sauce next year and
bring home the crown.
Congratulations Bruce and if I
didn’t mention it, Big Luke came
out last. Luke is a former 2 times
Champion and seem to have been
cut down to size.

Bruce

Champion

Leighton

1 Time Champion

Lebo

1 Time Champion

behind, Leighton, the head Chef
at Sullivans in Baton Rouge.
This year we had several new
cooks. Kyle cooked this year of
Blanchards Blend, Cajun
Seasonings and this year Jason, the

Bully

3rd Place

34

Jason

2nd Place

Foret Tradition

March
26th
FREE WIFI

with Kellie

Monday Night

Useless Random Facts

DJ MUSIC & KARAOKE


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is called an octotroph.

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The average person laughs 10 times a day.

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2016
LSU BASEBALL
OUTLOOK

Alex Lange

PROVIDED BY LSU SPORTS INFORMATION

THE 2016 TIGERS
Lettermen Returning/Lost:…..17/15
Pos. Players w/Starting Experience
Returning/Lost:…....................5/10
Pitchers Recording Innings
Returning/Lost:…….........…..12/5
Newcomers:…16 (10 high school
players; 5 JUCO transfers;
1 Division I transfer)

five SEC division titles and five SEC
tournament championships in nine
seasons.
“We’re proud of the recognition, now
it’s our job to uphold our tradition of
excellence.”

Despite having to replace eight of nine
everyday starters from last season’s
batting order, LSU is ranked as high
as No. 5 in the 2016 preseason
polls, marking the fifth straight
season the Tigers will begin the
year among the Top 10 teams in
the nation.
The Tigers, who have the most wins in
the nation over the past four seasons
(204 wins) and the past eight
seasons (387 wins), captured the
2015 SEC championship and
advanced to the College World Series
for the second time in three years.
LSU posted a nation’s-best 54
victories and was ranked No.1 for
10 consecutive weeks during the
2015 campaign.
“The fact that we’re ranked among the
top teams in the nation entering the
2016 season is a sign of respect for
our program, considering we have to
replace so many players from last
year’s lineup,” said 10th-year LSU
coach Paul Mainieri, who has directed
the Tigers to one national championship, four College World Series
appearances, three SEC overall titles,

The 2016 LSU roster includes
17 lettermen from the 2015 club,
including five position players with
starting experience and 11 pitchers
that recorded innings last season.
The LSU veterans are complemented
by a talented class of 16 newcomers,
including 10 position players, five
pitchers and one two-way player. The
incoming class was rated No. 7 in
the nation in the annual Collegiate
Baseball recruiting rankings.
“This was obviously
an extremely
important recruiting
class for us,”
Mainieri said. “We
needed to bring in a
group of guys who
could compete for
everyday positions,
as well as guys who
could add depth to
our pitching staff. I
think we may have
some differencemakers in the
players that have
joined our team.
There was a great
deal of teaching
taking place during
fall practice because

PRIMARY RETURNING POSITION STARTERS (12 or more starts in 2015)
Player
Pos.
Cl.-Exp. B/T
Avg.
Jake Fraley
OF
Jr.-2L
L/L
.307
Kramer Robertson
INF
Jr.-2L
R/R
.232

TOP NEWCOMERS—POSITION PLAYERS
Player
Pos.
Cl.
Cole Freeman
INF
Jr.
Antoine Duplantis
OF
Fr.
Trey Dawson
INF
Fr.

PRIMARY STARTING POSITION PLAYERS LOST
Player
GFPos.
Cl.-Exp.
Kade Scivicque
C
2L
Andrew Stevenson
OF
3L
Alex Bregman
SS
3L
Conner Hale
3B
2L

HR
2
0

RBI
35
5

PRIMARY PITCHERS RETURNING
Player
R/L
Cl.-Exp.
Alex Lange R
So.-1L
Jared Poche’ L
Jr.-2L
Austin Bain R
So.-1L
Parker Bugg R
Jr.-2L
Hunter Newman R
Jr.-2L
Jesse Stallings R
So.-1L

W-L
12-0
9-2
2-3
1-2
3-0
1-2

TOP NEWCOMERS—PITCHERS
Player
R/L
Cl.
Riley Smith R
Jr.
Caleb Gilbert R
Fr.
John Valek III L
Sr.

Hometown (2015 School)
Lufkin, Texas (San Jacinto JC)
Hoover, Ala. (Hoover HS)
Parkland, Fla. (Akron University)

PRIMARY PITCHERS LOST
Player
R/L
Zac Person L
Jake Godfrey R

W-L
2-0
7-1

Notable
23 stolen bases in 2015
42 career starts at second base

B/T
R/R
L/L
R/R

Hometown (2015 School)
Mandeville, La. (Delgado Community College)
Lafayette, La. (Lafayette High School)
Hurricane, W.Va. (Hurricane High School)

B/T
R/R
L/L
R/R
R/R

Avg.
.355
.348
.323
.327

HR
6
1
9
4

RBI
48
24
49
56

Exp.
2L
1L

Notable
2015 First-Team All-American
2015 First-Team All-SEC
2015 First-Team All-American
2015 First-Team All-SEC

36

ERA
1.97
3.05
3.95
1.72
0.49
2.73

ERA
4.06
4.61

IP
114.0
109.1
54.2
36.2
36.2
33.0

SV
0
0

BB
46
25
23
13
13
12

SO
131
72
56
35
34
26

Notable
2015 First-Team All-American
18 career wins in two seasons
Earned SEC Freshman of the Week honor
2015 SEC Academic Honor Roll
24 appearances; 4 saves in 2015
2015 Freshman All-American; 12 saves

IP
31.0
54.2

BB
12
33

SO
36
39

of all of the new
players. To see them
compete against
each other and see
how the pieces fit
together has been a
lot of fun.”
The LSU pitching
staff is led by
sophomore righthander Alex Lange,
the 2015 National
Freshman Pitcher of
the Year who last
season posted a
12-0 mark with a
1.97 ERA and 131
strikeouts in 114
innings. Junior
left-hander Jared

Notable
9th-round draft choice of Houston Astros
transferred to junior college

Poche’, who was 9-2 last season with
a 3.05 ERA, combines with Lange to
give LSU the best returning 1-2
starting combination in the
Southeastern Conference. Lange and
Poche’ have a combined 30 career
victories entering the 2016 season.
Other veteran pitchers back from last
season include left-hander Hunter
Devall, and right-handers Hunter
Newman, Parker Bugg, Doug Norman,
Jesse Stallings, Russell Reynolds,
Collin Strall, Austin Bain and Alden
Cartwright. Freshman left-hander
Jake Latz, redshirted last season due
to an arm injury, hopes to return to
the mound in 2016.
The returning position players are led
by outfielder Jake Fraley, who started
56 games last season and hit .307

(69-for-225) with 11 doubles, five
triples, two homers, 35 RBI, 50 runs
and 23 stolen bases.
Other players returning that made
appearances in the LSU lineup last
season include infielders Kramer
Robertson, Bryce Jordan and Greg
Deichmann, catcher Michael Papierski
and outfielder Beau Jordan.
With guys like Alex Lange and Jared
Poche’, along with our other veterans
and some new arms, we have a very

Austin Bain

formidable pitching staff going into
2016,” Mainieri said. The main focus
this fall has been putting together a
lineup. With Jake Fraley being the only
position player returning to the
starting lineup from 2015, we’ve had
a lot of work to do.
“We believe in hard work, I can tell
you that,” Mainieri continued. “To play
at this level at LSU with the
expectations of what we have for our
program, you have to have committed
players. They have to be all in.

Everybody has to be pulling on the
same end of the rope, and it means
they make some sacrifices, and
they’re certainly going to work hard.
There’s going to be a lot of
competition, which I think is good. I
think it brings out the best in you.”

Position Players
Junior Jake Fraley, a product of
Middletown, Del., is LSU’s only
returning everyday starter from last
season. Fraley
played in left field
last season, and he
is slated to move
into the starting
centerfielder’s role
in 2016. He hit
.307 (69-for-225)
last season with
11 doubles, five
triples, two
homers, 35 RBI,
50 runs and 23
stolen bases. He
finished No. 6 in
the SEC in steals,
and he was LSU’s
leading hitter in the
NCAA Tournament,
batting .387 in
eight games.
Sophomore Beau
Jordan of Lake
Charles, La. is

37

projected as the Tigers’ starter in left
field. Jordan played in 20 games last
year (four starts), and he turned in
one of the best defensive plays of
the 2015 season. He made a
game-saving catch in left field in the
bottom of the 14th inning at Alabama,
snaring a deep line drive above his
head and doubling off a Bama base
runner at first base to keep the
scored tied at 5-5. LSU eventually
won the contest, 8-5, in 16 innings.
Freshman Antoine Duplantis of
Lafayette, La., is a strong candidate
to join Fraley and Jordan in the
starting outfield. A tremendous a
thlete, Duplantis is a speedy,
left-handed playmaking performer with
a sweet swing and the ability to hit
the ball with authority.
Other players with the opportunity to
see playing time in the outfield include
a pair of talented true freshmen –
Brennan Breaux of Lafayette, La.,
and Brody Wofford, a product of
Rome, Ga.
Junior second baseman Kramer
Robertson is the Tigers’ veteran
presence among the infielders, having
started 42 games over the past two
seasons. Robertson, a native of
McGregor, Texas, displayed excellent
power at the plate during fall practice,
and he is an exceptional defensive
infielder capable of making
spectacular plays.

Sophomore Greg Deichmann of
Metairie, La., is LSU’s projected
starter at first base. Deichmann, an
imposing left-handed power hitter who
also possesses outstanding speed,
was the Louisiana high school leader
in home runs for three consecutive
seasons. Sophomore Bryce Jordan Beau’s twin brother – played in 21
games last season and should see
significant action at first base and as
the Tigers’ primary designated hitter.
Freshman Trey Dawson of Hurricane,
W.Va., is a superb prospect who is
scheduled to begin the year as LSU’s
starting shortstop. Selected in the
2015 MLB Draft by the Detroit
Tigers, Dawson hit .425 as a high
school senior while committing just
one error at shortstop.
Cole Freeman, a transfer from
Delgado Community College in New
Orleans, will likely start at third base.
Freeman, who batted .385 at Delgado
last season, is the prototypical
“table-setter” on offense that can
put a lot of pressure on the
opposition with his bunting and
base-stealing ability.
Freshmen O’Neal Lochridge of
Lafayette, La., and Chris Reid of
Baton Rouge should also make an
impact this season as infielders.
Sophomore catcher Michael Papierski
started 12 games behind the plate
last season, and the 2014 MLB Draft

selection demonstrated his skill as a
tremendous defensive player. Jordan
Romero, a JUCO Gold Glove recipient
from LSU-Eunice, will also compete
for playing time at catcher.

Pitchers
Junior left-hander Jared Poche’ and
sophomore right-hander Alex Lange –
both 2016 preseason All-Americans form one of the nation’s top returning
weekend starting duos, as they
have a combined 30 wins during
their careers.
Poche’, a native of Lutcher, La., has
an 18-5 record in his two seasons as
a weekend starter for the Tigers. He
was 9-2 last season with a 3.05 ERA
in 18 starts, and he recorded 25
walks and 72 strikeouts in 109.1
innings. Poche’ pitched LSU to victory
in Game 2 of the 2015 NCAA Super
Regional versus UL-Lafayette, leading
the Tigers to a College World Series
berth. He limited the Cajuns to one
run on five hits in 7.2 innings with one
walk and seven strikeouts.
Lange, a product of Lee’s Summit,
Mo., posted a 12-0 record in 2015
with a 1.97 ERA in 114 innings for
the Tigers. In 17 starts, he recorded
131 strikeouts and limited opponents
to a .212 cumulative batting average.
He was voted the 2015 National
Freshman Pitcher of the Year and SEC
Freshman of the Year, and he received

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38

Jared Poche

Jake Fraley

first-team All-America and first-team
All-SEC recognition. Lange culminated
the year with a complete-game
victory over Cal State Fullerton in the
College World Series, limiting the
Titans to three runs on six hits in nine

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innings with two walks and 10
strikeouts.
Sophomore right-hander Austin Bain
is projected to join Poche’ and Lange
in the weekend starting rotation.

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It’s time to clean the rough and
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BEFORE

Bain, a native of Geismar, La.,
appeared in 21 games (six starts)
last season, posting a 3.95 ERA and
56 strikeouts in 54.2 innings. He was
named SEC Co-Freshman of the Week
on April 6 of last season, as he
pitched brilliantly in relief 4 to help
lead LSU to a 13-inning win over
Alabama. Bain worked a career-long
6.2 shutout innings (93 pitchers),
and he allowed just three hits with
one walk and a career-high nine
strikeouts.
LSU has a veteran staff of capable
relievers led by juniors Parker Bugg,
Hunter Newman and Alden
Cartwright, and third-year sophomore
Jesse Stallings. Bugg, a right-hander
from San Diego, Calif., recorded a
1.72 ERA and three saves in 26
appearances with 35 strikeouts in
36.2 innings. Newman, a right-hander
from Bloomingdale, Ga., was 3-0 with
a 0.49 ERA four saves and 34
strikeouts in 24 appearances (36.2
innings). Cartwright, a right-hander
from Baton Rouge, made 26
appearances and fanned 29 hitters
in 20 innings of work.
The hard-throwing Stallings, a product
of Colfax, La., was No. 2 in the SEC
last season in saves with 12, and he
earned Freshman All-America
recognition.

AFTER

Junior right-hander Riley Smith, a
transfer from San Jacinto College in

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Houston, and freshman right-hander
Caleb Gilbert, a product of Hoover,
Ala., will play significant roles on the
LSU staff this season. Sophomore
right-hander Doug Norman of Fort
Mill, S.C. and senior left-hander John
Valek III, a transfer from the
University of Akron, are candidates
to become the Tigers’ mid-week
starting pitcher.
Other hurlers who will compete for
time on the mound include freshman
right-hander Cole McKay, a 2015
MLB Draft selection by the Detroit
Tigers; junior right-hander Collin
Strall, senior left-hander Hunter
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43

Cooking
Gourmet
at
Home
with SNO’S SEAFOOD & STEAKS

Ingredients:
15 jalapeno peppers (cut in half
length wise – seeds and pith
removed)
1 cup small diced white onion
¼ cup small diced red bell pepper
½ cup green onions (sliced)
8 ounces cream cheese (softened)
10 ounces pepper jack cheese (shredded)
1 lb baby boiled shrimp – rough chopped (90/110)
15 slices of bacon (chopped)
15 slices of bacon (cut in ½)
1 tsp fresh minced garlic
¼ cup bread crumbs
Salt, Red Pepper, Black Pepper to Taste
Method:
In a pot, bring water to a rapid boil and blanch the jalapeno halves for approx. 2 minutes then immediately scoop them and place them in an ice bath
to cool. While the peppers are cooling, in a large mixing bowl, add your
cream cheese, pepper jack cheese, garlic, green onions and shrimp. Sauté the
onion and red bell pepper until tender then add to the cheese mixture. Next,
sauté your chopped bacon until crispy and add to the cheese mixture.
(Grease too… YUM) Add the bread crumbs to the cheese mixture and mix
well. Generously stuff the peppers with cheese mixture then wrap the pepper
with ½ a slice of bacon and secure with a toothpick.

Cajun Stuffed Peppers
Prep Time:
30 minutes
Executive Chef
Ben Jarreau

Now decide how you want to serve them….. Grilled, fried, baked….?????
If frying, pre heat oil to 350 degrees. Dust the peppers in flour then into
and egg wash, then back into the flour and fry for about 5 minutes or until
golden brown.

Cook Time:
6 minutes

If grilling or baking, cook peppers for about 8 minutes or until bacon is to
your desired doneness.

45

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46

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