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Section B

VOL. 35 ISSUE 3 OFFICIAL PUBLICATION OF UNITED CIVIC ORGANIZATION OF CENTURY VILLAGE, WEST PALM BEACH, FLORIDA MARCH 2016

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PAGE B2 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

Zero, zip, zilch


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Call a licensed sales agent 8 a.m. 8 p.m., Monday Friday.


En espaol? Llame gratis al 1-855-778-8206

Humana is a Medicare Advantage HMO organization with a Medicare contract. Enrollment in any Humana plan depends
on contract renewal. This information is not a complete description of benefits. Contact the plan for more information.
Limitations, copayments, and restrictions may apply. Benefits, premium and member cost share may change on
January 1 of each year. You must continue to pay your Medicare Part B premium. A sales person will be present with
information and applications. For accommodation of persons with special needs at sales meetings call 1-800-552-0776
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This information is available for free in other languages. Please contact a licensed Humana sales agent at 1-800-552-0776
(TTY: 711). Esta informacin est disponible gratuitamente en otros idiomas. Pngase en contacto con un agente de
ventas certificado de Humana. Llame gratis al 1-855-778-8206 (TTY: 711).
Y0040_GHHHXCFENTE16_ROY_1 Approved

PB 2/16

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B3

TATIANA AND DOMINIQUE


ARE ON THE ROAD AGAIN!

Were on the move again! Life is great in Century Village. Six days a week, we are content to gossip at the pool, play
cards in the clubhouse, shop at the malls, and eat in local restaurants. However, one day a week, we are determined
to venture beyond Zip Code 33417. Just as we did before retirement, we want to spread our wings and expand our
minds -- not just our waistlines. We have decided not to allow limited finances, aches and pains, or the fluctuating
price of gasoline keep us tied to West Palm Beach.

WE WON THE LOTTERY!


Its George Washingtons birthday and we cannot
tell a lie! We won the Lottery last month!
Giddy with the thrill of a $40 windfall, we
ignored our financial advisors advice to Save and
invest prudently. Instead, we made reservations
to sail on the Blue Horizon Casino Cruise in the
hope that we could parlay our fortune into an
even bigger fortune.
So, on a sparkling clear Sunday morning we
made the short drive to the Port of Palm Beach.
Spotting a handicap parking space, Dominique
quickly pulled into it only to be told by an
attendant that although we self-parked, we had to
pay the $7 valet fee! Inside the ship terminal, we
found long lines of people waiting to get boarding
passes and no separate line for guests like us who
had pre-paid reservations. It took almost an hour
to present valid identification, receive boarding
passes, and go through airport type security before
boarding the ship. Each first-time guest who
joins the Players Club is given a $20 free slot play
card which means the days voyage costs nothing!
Those cards are given out at Guest Services on
Deck 1.
Our boarding pass entitled us to a buffet lunch
in Rebeccas Grille. Water, domestic beer, house
wine by the glass, and well drinks are also free
while gaming as are hot coffee, tea and soda.
However, there were only a few cocktail waitresses
in the casino areas so getting a free beverage was
not easy!
I was told by two crew members that the 160
long Blue Horizon is the first SWATH vessel ever
constructed in the U.S. for gaming and features
the latest in marine technology to ensure that
passengers have an extremely comfortable ride.
She can carry 600 guests and is registered in the
U.S. As non-smokers, we were pleased to learn that
the casino is a non-smoking area. However, there
is a designated outdoor smoking area on Deck 3.
The ship sailed promptly at noon and since
no gambling was allowed until we reached
international waters (3 miles out), we used
this quiet time to explore the ship. The ship is
compact and all the decks were accessible by stairs

and by a small elevator. This is a definite plus for


guests who may have mobility problems or who
use walkers/canes.
Restrooms were located on
all decks.
Rebeccas Grill, the ships main dining venue,
is located on Deck 1 as are the gaming tables. We
counted 10 blackjack tables, 4 roulette tables,
3 craps tables, and various poker tables. Slot
machines are located on Decks 1 and 2. There are
more than 250 slot machines in denominations
that range from 1 cent to $5.
Deck 3 is the entertainment deck. Our cruise
featured a country-western singer/guitarist but
returning gamblers told us that onboard music
ranges from a calypso-style steel drummer to
jazz to rock and roll. Dianes Bar offers a limited
bar menu and is the area where bingo is usually
played during the return trip to Palm Beach. Also
located on Deck 3 is a small outside patio area
where guests can enjoy the sea breeze, sip a frozen
cocktail, and marvel at the mega-yachts sailing
by. Unfortunately, there are only 6 tables and 25
chairs in this area so if you want to sit in the sun, I
suggest you grab a chair early in the day.
At about 1 p.m. we were ready for lunch. Those
who remember dining on the old Palm Beach
Princess will be underwhelmed and disappointed
by the Blue Horizon dining room. It reminded us
of a dingy, high school cafeteria with long lines
of hungry people waiting to be served miniscule
portions of unappetizing, non-descript food on
plastic plates. Although the company website
describes the buffet as offering international
food inspired by the season including tantalizing
entrees and delectable desserts, we were offered
a few chunks of barbecued chicken, grey tilapia,
string beans, bacon, rice, pre-made wilted garden
salad, and a few cookies. The soft ice cream
machine was out of order.
Rather than allow the disappointing meal to
spoil our day, we remembered that we were not
on the ship for a culinary experience but rather to
make money!
Leaving the dining area, Dominique headed for
the slots on Deck 2 while I decided to find a hot

machine on Deck 1. Many of the men on board


were already crowded around the poker tables
so I was able to move between lots of colorful,
flashing machines -- Wheel of fortune, Quick Hit
Platinum, Golden Peach, Sparkling Royal, and
my favorite, Silver Jubilee. It wasnt long before my
$20 players card showed $47. I cashed out and
found Dominique who was experiencing her own
winning streak . She was ahead $31.
At 5 p.m. we disembarked. Self-parking,
although expensive, turned out to be a blessing in
disguise. We did not have to wait to retrieve our
car through valet services so we were the second
car out of the parking lot and home by 5:30 p.m.
Dominique was happy. I was happy. The seas
had been calm and the sun shone all day. Our
Bloody Marys and wine spritzers were free. We
gambled all day using only the money posted to
our Players Cards so we got home with extra
dollars in our pockets.
I can still take my financial advisors advice to
invest my Lottery winnings. All in all a good day!

SCHEDULE (subject to change)


NO SAILING ON MONDAY, TUESDAY,
WEDNESDAY
Thursday:
Brunch cruise 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Dinner cruise 7 p.m. to midnight
Friday and Saturday:

Brunch cruise 11 a.m. to 4 p.m.

Dinner cruise 7 p.m. to 12:30 a.m.

Sunday: Brunch cruise 12 p.m. to

5 p.m.
Reservations may be made online or pay at the
ship terminal. Check the company website for
additional information and driving instructions
at www.bluehorizoncasinocruises.com
or call
561-771-0710 Ask about bus transportation that
may be available from Century Village beginning
in February.

PAGE B4 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

S E R V I C E S
Maintenance
By Dom Guarnagia
A LITTLE KNOWN AND
UNDER-UTILIZED TOOL
When
an
individual
or
association
is
seeking
l icensed/
i n s u r e d
contractors to
perform work
that is code compliant, warranted,
and uses the materials described in
a written agreement/contract, here
is one place to turn to. Behind the
reception desk at the UCO office is
a looseleaf notebook that, granted,
needs updating, but has information
on painters, door and window
installers, concrete contractors,
electrical contractors, plumbing
contractors and more.
Every day contractors enter the
Village to perform tasks for us
all. Residents unfamiliar with the
work of different contractors can
request and scrutinize reports in the
notebook that have been made on
their work. The reports cover such
things as reliability, punctuality,
workmanlike conduct, adherence
to the contract, correct material
supplied with equal quality or no
substitutions, completion within
the prescribed time frame, customer
satisfaction, etc.
My hope is that before you select
a contractor, you will consult this
log; then after your work has been
done, complete one of the single-page
report forms yourself. Your remarks
can help inform future residents
needing similar work performed. An
educated consumer can make a wiser
choice.

Safety
By George Franklin
Hi folks. I hope
everyone had a
Happy Valentine's
Day. Saint Patrick's
Day is the next
holiday,
which
brings up another
safety
issue:
drinking and driving.
Now we all know we should NOT
drink and drive. The countless
number of accidents and deaths
caused by drinking and driving is
horrendous each year. If you are going
to celebrate the holiday and have a
"taste," not only on Saint Patrick's
day, but for that matter on ANY
holiday, please have a designated
driver chosen or plan on using a taxi
cab. DO NOT DRIVE!
The fines and penalties for
drinking and driving are enormous.
As some notorious cases in the news

media have shown, penalties can


also include years of jail time! To my
knowledge here in Century Village,
I don't recall any DWI--but I could
be wrong. Who wants to go through
the process of being arrested, booked
into jail, embarrassed, having to hire
a lawyer, having to appear in court,
and having his or her life ruined over
a beer? The worst scenario is losing a
loved one or good friend to a drunk
driver. I can tell you, I lost a friend to
a drunk driver and it hurt badly! You
never forget. DON'T DRINK and
DRIVE!
On another subject - how many
of you have had your cars winterized
and checked for the season? You
may feel because the weather here
in Florida is mild that this is not
necessary. However, have all your
fluids been checked and topped off?
Windshield wipers checked and not
smearing? When was the last time
your tires were rotated? Oil change
done? Is your car idling rough? How
about a tune up? You should be on
top of these items no matter what
the season. Car dealers offer many
safety packages. Check with your
dealer for one that satisfies your
needs. Until next time, be safe and
secure out there!

Safety
By George Franklin
Hi folks! Well, we did it. On
January 15th, Century Village
residents filled meeting room C at
the clubhouse to standing room
only. The stormy weather didn't keep
anyone away from the UCO/WPRF
sponsored Active Shooter Response
Seminar. The seminar was attended
by UCO/WPRF officers and the
members of the Palm Beach County
Sheriff's Office.
The instructors were two first class
Special Agents from the DEA with
almost 50 years of law enforcement
experience between them. A number
of videos were shown and residents
were instructed on what to do should
an emergency situation happen in the
Village. Many questions were asked
and then answered by the agents. We
hope that no one ever has to use this
information.
To those of you that were unable
to attend, we hope to do this again
in the coming year and I hope that
you will attend this most important
event. I would like to thank the
Agent Instructors and Capt. William
Bruckner of the Palm Beach County
Sheriff's Office, District Three, for
all their help with this program. And
I would like to also thank WPRF
personnel for their assistance with
the electrical set ups. Most of all I
want to thank all of the residents
that braved the stormy weather to
attend. Be safe, secure and vigilant
out there!

TRASH PICKUP SCHEDULE


Monday and Thursday:

Andover, Bedford,
Camden, Chatham, Dorchester, Greenbrier, Kent, Kingswood,
Northampton, Somerset, Southampton, Sussex,
Wellington and Windsor.
Tuesday and Friday:

Berkshire, Cambridge,
Canterbury, Coventry, Dover,
Easthampton, Hastings,
Norwich, Oxford, Plymouth, Salisbury, Sheffield, Stratford, Waltham
Monday, Thursday and Saturday:

Golfs Edge
Bulk Pickup: Friday for all areas.

It is not a pleasant sight to see the bulk trash out all week, so please
remember to put your bulk trash out late Thursday evening or very
early Friday.
Recycling: Wednesdays and Saturdays for all areas.

Busted Dumpster?
Call UCO! 683-9189
UCOGARBAGE@GMAIL.COM

Waste Pro, our sanitation contractor, has requested


that all service requests from Century Village be
routed through UCO for processing.
The reason for this request is to provide faster
service by reducing multiple requests for the same
job.
Waiting times for service can vary, due to contractor
workload, availability of material and delivery
schedules. All service requests received by UCO
are emailed to a Waste Pro service coordinator
who is permanently assigned to Century Village.
Own a cellphone? Send photos of busted
dumpsters or other sanitation related complaints to
ucogarbage@gmail.com . Please include location
with photo.

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B5

LOCAL DINING

COMMENTARY

FISH EATING
NOT TROLLING

The Cerabino Files

BY LENORE VELCOFF

There are two predominantly fish


restaurants one near and one a little
further away - that I have enjoyed
recently. One is a bargain and one a
little more expensive but both worth
trying.
Nicoles Seafood Restaurant - In
business in the Fountain Gate Plaza
on Jog Road in Greenacres for over
seven years, it is where all dinners
are two for $32 cash and two for
$34 credit. With a $2 off coupon,
its even less for a complete dinner;
soup or salad, entre, 2 sides, dessert
and beverage. They serve you hot,
homemade bread to start with and
a different soup every night. Their
mushroom and barley is delicious.
There are more than 32 fish or
seafood dishes that will meet and
please any tastes from the basics to
the little unusual, from baked scrod
to stuffed sole filet with shrimp and
scallops. Each entre is large enough
to take home for another meal.
Finish off with cake or ice cream and
a cup of coffee and you will leave both
full and with a smile on your face.
Closer to home, west of Century

Village on Okeechobee Blvd, is


Bimini Twist, a more upscale
restaurant. It was established in
2002 and specializes in the freshest
seafood from around the world. They
are always true to their word fresh
never frozen. Their all-encompassing
drink menu is the perfect place
to start, serving only name-brand
liquors, over two dozen specialty
drinks, more than 40 various wines,
and now featuring a new draught beer
selection. They have been consistently
rated in the top ten restaurants in all
of South Florida by OpenTable.com.
Everything is ala carte but their
entrees are served with hot garlic
bread, salad and one side, and range
in price from Shrimp Scampi over
Linguine at $24.95 to Yellowtail
Snapper topped with Jumbo Lump
Crab and Bearnaise Sauce at $32.95.
They also have a more varied menu
with beef and chicken dishes. Their
yummy desserts can be paired with a
specialty cappuccino. Whether it is
a special occasion or a night of fine
dining, you will like it.

BY LANNY HOWE
I thought the Cerabino article was
hilarious. Sometimes you need to
step back and take a look at things
from the perspective of an outsider.
Condo living is a pretty funny thing
to begin with, and Cerabino has
written a book about it. I'm going to
send my brother and a friend of mine,
both of whom live on Cape Cod, a
copy of the article.
I don't think Frank was
"disrespectful" of the Village as
Esther Sutofsky maintains. He was
just enjoying a good laugh and
sharing it. I laugh along with him. It's
healthy to laugh at yourself.
I do think he sided far more with
Dave Israel and his administration
than with the malcontents, but that
is just my own opinion. If you read his
column carefully, you'll see it is almost
all quotesif not exact quotes (with
quote marks), then "almost quotes"
(without the marks). The telling
thing to me was that the quotes from
the malcontents were essentially a
display of their vulgarities and grossly
exaggerated charges, while the quotes
from Dave & Company were mostly
their claimed accomplishments.
Cerabino certainly makes a point
of how extreme some of the mal

stuff has been: "For a daily dose


of political vitriol, Villagers can go
online to My Village Blogger, which
bills itself [my emphasis] 'The Voice
of the Malcontents.'"
Plus, "A dictator who has rested
control of the pool and clubhouse?
It's like reading dispatches from
Aleppo [an ancient Arab warring
state], not Okeechobee Boulevard."
Cerabino (purposely, I'm sure, with
no "sic") retains the malcontent
misspelling of "wrest" in this clearly
satirical remark.
And the kicker: "Underhanded
depravity? Seriously? Yes, they're
heavy on the mustard here." I was
laughing so hard I had tears in my
eyes at this one.
Yes, perhaps he was a mite short on
respect. Of the malcontents.
I could go on, but I think the
point has been made. The Village has
been subjected to what everyone in
Southeast Florida fears, the Cerabino
fires. We have emerged a little
scorched, but so what? Hopefully we
can enjoy a good laugh about it and
perhaps not take ourselves quite so
seriously. And stop the ridiculous
hyperbole.

Not Quite, Frank


BY IRV RIKON
Frank Cerabino's column in
Wednesday's Palm Beach Post on
Century Village was not quite frank,
but I'm glad to see that Palm Beach
Post's columnists read Century
Village newspapers even as Villagers'
read The Post.
First, Mr. Cerabino refers to "a
group of retirees clawing at each
other over that last hurrah." What do
those final two words mean? Maybe
that Century Villagers are elderly?
Come on, Frank! You're old enough
to live in Century Village yourself.
Perhaps that's why you've visited
Century Village previously, enjoying
the hospitality of residents and
partaking of Clubhouse celebrations
and pleasures.
You describe Century Village as
a "sprawling condo community."
Century Village does not sprawl. West
Palm Beach sprawls. Los Angeles
sprawls. Century Village is a pleasant
compact residential community with
attractive lawns, swimming pools, a
lake, recreation centers, a clubhouse
housing a large theater and active
classrooms. It lies close to downtown
West Palm Beach, The Kravis Center,
Cityplace, Clematis Street, Palm
Beach, the Outlet Mall, the Florida
Turnpike, I-95 and the airport. In
past years, its residents included the
parents of a top Presidential aide
plus other key Washington officials
and columnists and professors in
prominent universities. Nowadays
its population is more diverse.
Indeed, today it's rather a microcosm
of the United States itself.
And yes, it has several newspapers.
Don't you find it odd that West
Palm Beach has only one newspaper
while Century Village has more than

one? Diversity is the very essence


of true democracy! In a vibrant,
politically active community such
as Century Village differences of
opinion sometimes arise. But your
reportage lacks balance. You quote
someone who equates United Civic
Organization President David Israel
to Hitler. Offensive and inaccurate
as that is, it's also dated. If your
contact chooses to say the president
is a dictator, why not name Vladimir
Putin or the leaders of ISIS? But
invoking the name of a long-dead
person does serve to show how "out
of touch" the president's critics are,
wherein lies part of the disagreement
within the community.
David Israel's working professional
life dealt mainly with the complex
field of national security. He is fluent
in various areas of technology and is
wise enough and humble enough to
call in experts on matters relatively
unfamiliar to him. His opponents
in the forthcoming Century Village
election criticize but hold back
from joining modern technological
advances in this "Information Age"
when terrorism (and lack of common
courtesy) is a concern to us all.
As for me, I write columns for the
UCO Reporter, Century Village's
main newspaper, but over a span
of several decades, I have written
columns for the Palm Beach Post as
well as Letters to the Editor. This is a
relationship I hope to continue. After
all, as the saying goes, "We're all in
this together."
Editors Note: This opinion piece was
originally submitted to the Palm Beach
Post as a Letter to Editor.

PAGE B6 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

O R G A N I Z A T I O N A L
DO NOT resubmit dates for events already appearing
unless there is a correction. There is no charge for
listings. ALL SUBMISSIONS SHOULD BE ADDRESSED
TO: ucoreporterwpb@gmail.com.
Submissions for Organizational News may be
submitted in person at the UCO Reporter office
on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays from
9:00AM to 12:00PM.
(All meetings are in the main Clubhouse unless
stated otherwise.)
ACT II COMMUNITY THEATREMeets every Wednesday at 7:00 PM
at the Clubhouse. New members welcome!
ACTORS STUDIO OF CENTURY
VILLAGE: Join the fun! We have minor parts, leading roles, and a need
for writers, stage hands and props
people. We read scripts and practice acting every week, and we put on
two performances a year. No prior
acting experience needed. We meet
every Monday night at 7:00 PM in
Classroom B. Stop in or call Bernie
Kaufman @ 308-0957.
AFRICAN AMERICAN CULTURE
CLUB: Spring Fling Dance on Sunday, April 24th at 6PM- Wear Spring
Pastels or All White. Lets party
hearty to the exciting sounds of DJ
Outlaw Jesse James. Are you ready
to judge or win Old School Dance
Contests? Come out and share an
entertaining evening! Card & Games
night: Join us to play Hand & Foot or
Rummikub in the Clubhouse Card
Room. All skill levels are welcome.
For more information, call Terry at
561-249-7262. Membership information: Our event calendar includes
informative and fun events. Join Today! Membership open to all! (561)
444-9825
AITZ CHAIM: Daily services 8:00
AM. Mincha and Maariv at Sundown,
Sisterhood 3rd Monday of
month 10:00 AM. Charlotte 917815-7711; Charlotte 478-8756; Anita
686-9083.
ALZHEIMERS SUPPORT GROUP:
Every 2nd and 4th Monday 1:30 PM
Art Room. Speakers, group support, tips. Youre not alone. All are
welcome. Please call Carmen Watson
@ 469-1220 or email @ carmenrwatson41@gmail.com for more info.

ANSHEI SHOLOM: We welcome you


to our family. Planning a party? Rent
our Hall, strictly kosher. Attend our
minyans Monday & Thursday at
8:30 AM and Saturday evening at 5
PM. Shabbat services Friday evening
5 PM and Saturday morning at 8:45
AM. Meet new and old friends. Sisterhood Mini Luncheon Meetings
3rd Tuesday of each month. Next
meeting March 15th. Hebrew conversational class every Monday at 10
AM with Sara Farkas. Cantors class
every Monday at 1:30 PM Yiddish
Humor. Cantors other class on the
4th Wednesday of each month Jewish Composers of Broadway. Mens
Club Shabbat Dinner March 4th.
Dinner following services at 5 PM.
Next day installation of Officers for
the Mens Club. March 20th Mens
Club breakfast and movie Zig Zag
Boy. March 13th Dinner Dance
with entertainment honoring Fay &
Jerry Chernin and Anita Ash. Call
synagogue for reservations 6843212. Hadassah meeting March
16th and Bnai Brith meeting March
27th. For further information call
the Temple at 561-684-3212.
BABY BOOMERS CLUB:.Meetings
3rd Wednesday each month at 3:30
PM, December through April. Contact Lynn at LynnSevan@aol.com
for further information.
BALLROOM DANCE GROUP: Meets
Mondays 2 - 4 PM, Party Room, except 2nd Monday is occasionally in
Art Room. No charge. Info: Herb at
471-1888
BIBLE STUDY GROUP - TASTE &
SEE: Non-denominational group.
Meets every Sunday, 5 PM, Classroom A . Info: Leonore 478-9459
BNAI B'RITH CENTURY UNIT
#5367: Annual Membership Fee $25.
Breakfast meetings fourth Sunday of
month at Congregation Anshei Sholom with entertainment and speakers.
BROOKLYN QUEENS CLUB: meets
in the clubhouse party room October
to April on the second Wednesday of
the month at 2:00PM, doors open at
1:30. For further information, call
club president Harriet Levine @ 6849712.
CENTURY VILLAGE ARTISTS: We
welcome all Century Village residents to view our artwork on 1st and
2nd floor of main Clubhouse. Info
about purchase or display -- Beth
Baker @ 684-3166.
CENTURY VILLAGE BOOK CLUBWe are already working on books for
next season. For more information
call 640-6944 or email arzj@Hotmail.com

N E W S

CENTURY VILLAGE BRIDGE CLUB:


Activities four times weekly. Card
Room A, Clubhouse. Call Kristy
Brown 640-3120 ext. 0 or Bill Halprin (248) 672-2292. Advanced registration is required for lessons and/
or Supervised Play. Scheduled events:
($5/play)- Bridge lessons: beginners: Mon 1-3 PM, intermediates:
Mon 3:30-5:30 PM, supervised play:
Wed. 10:30AM - 12:30 PM, Duplicate Bridge: Wed. 1:00-4:30 PM, Sat.
1:00-4:30 PM.
CENTURY VILLAGE CAMERA CLUB:
Any questions, e-mail Ken Graff at
cameraclubcv@gmail.com.
CENTURY VILLAGE COMPUTER
CLUB: Meet 1st and 3rd Thursday
Nov through Apr. 1 PM in Classroom
C. Annual Dues are $12. Call Kathy
@ 252-8495 or visit our website at:
http://www.cv-computerclub-wpb.
com/
CENTURY VILLAGE CRAFT CREATIONS KNITTING-CROCHETING
CLUB: Meets every Tues. 9:30 AM-12
PM Craft room (104). We create items
donated to The Teacup Preemie
Program & Veterans.
CENTURY VILLAGE DEMOCRATIC
CLUB: Paid up membership luncheon
3/17, 1:30pm- Fun, food, surprises.
Reservations 688-1934.
CENTURY VILLAGE GUN CLUB:
Meets every 2nd Tuesday 7 PM in
Classroom B. Every meeting has a
guest speaker. For information call
George at 471-9929.
CENTURY VILLAGE MESSENGER
CLUB: Further info: Ed Grossman at
631-742-1300 or e-mail edwardrgrosman@gmail.com.
CENTURY VILLAGE ORCHESTRA:
Meet every Monday in Classroom C
at 1:15 to 3:35 PM. More information call Rickie @ 683-0869 or Joel @
688-9455. We need trombone players,
string players and percussion players.
CENTURY VILLAGE REPUBLICAN
CLUB- 3/ 8, at 1:30 PM, clubhouse art
room. All are welcome. We can make a
difference. Come and exchange ideasmake our country a better place for
our kids and grandkids.
CENTURY VILLAGE WOODWORKING CLUB: Meets 6 days a week from
8:30 AM to 11:30 AM. Please come
and join us in our hobby shop.
CENWEST FISHING CLUB: Meets
1st Wednesday of each month 3:00
to 4:30 PM Classroom B. For more
Information call Al at 242-0351 or
Capt. Mike at 570-445-4391.
CHIT CHAT GROUP: A friendly group
of chatters who meet 1st and 3rd
Tuesday. 2 PM in Classroom B. For
information call Rhoda @ 686-0835.
CENTURY VILLAGE CHRISTIAN
CLUB: The club holds meetings the
first Wednesday of the month at
1:00PM. Contact Grace @ 640-5279.

COUNTRY LINE DANCING: Country


and Regular, Monday 9 to 10:30 AM
in Party Room.
DANCE PARTY CLUB: We hold a
FREE dance every week on Tuesday in
the Party Room from 6:30- 9:30PM.
Theres never been a Dance Party like
thiswe play every genre of music
Ballroom, Motown, Funk, R&B, Disco, Salsa, Swing, Rock & Roll, Blues,
Line Dancing and CW. Requests takenCome to dance, listen, watch
we bet you wont be nappinyour
feet will be tappinand your fingers
snappin. Call for more info: Erwin
917-915-2174 or Lou 561-398-8785
FRIENDS OF BILL WILSON: Meets
every Thursday 7:00-8:00 PM in the
Clubhouse, Craft Room. For info,
call Cindy @ 561-568-1780.
GREAT
BOOKS
DISCUSSION
GROUP: Meet 1st and 3rd Thurs.
afternoons 1:30 PM, Card Room B.
.We discuss short readings of Great
Works of literature that continue
to have meaning for us today. Julie--249-6565.
HASTINGS CUE CLUB: Welcoming
New Members. We play Mon. - Sat.
9:30 AM - 12 noon. Bernie @ 6842064 or Zev @ 290-4824.
HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS OF THE
PALM BEACHES: Meets 1st Wednesday of month 9:30 AM, Golden Lakes
Temple. Bus provided from Century
Village Clubhouse. Information: call
Kathy @ 689-0393.
IRISH AMERICAN CLUB OF CENTURY VILLAGE- Welcomes all, and
hopes you have the best season ever.
Our next meetings are 3/4 and 4/5.
Meetings are held in Clubhouse at
2:00 PM. Contact Robert, 1-917-7040223.
ITALIAN AMERICAN CULTURE
CLUB: (IACC) OF CENTURY VILLAGE: Meets the 3rd Wednesday of
each month at the Clubhouse Party
Room at 1:00 pm. For club information call Fausto 478-1821. Bowling
Saturdays at Verdes Lanes, 9:00 A.M.
for information call Lenny 471-2603.
Cruises thru Celebration Linestransportation included to the port
contact Ashley 561-845-7737 mention the CV Italian Club
JEWISH WAR VETERANS POST
#501: Meet 1st Sunday of month at
Cypress Lakes Clubhouse. Breakfast,
9 AM. Guest speakers. Activities include servicing VA patients. Howard
@ 478-2780.
JEWISH WAR VETERANS POST #
520: Meet 4th Sunday of month at
Elks Lodge, Belvedere Rd. Continental breakfast, 9 AM followed by meeting. Information: Phil @ 686-2086.
JUDITH EPSTEIN CHAPTER OF HADASSAH: Meet 3rd Wednesday of
month at Congregation Anshei Sholom.

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B7

O R G A N I Z AT I O NA L N E W S
KARAOKE Tuesdays 6 - 9 PM,in Party Room hosted by Marshall Eads.
Fridays 6 - 9 PM, hosted by Janisse
Lahoe.
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS: Palm Beach
Rainbow Lodge #203 meets the 2nd
and 4th Tuesdays in Century Village
Walgreens/Medical building (separate ground floor entrance), 100 Century Blvd., CSI Caregiver Services, at
1:00pm. We are an international fraternal organization, non-sectarian.
The Lodge welcomes new members,
dual members, transferees, and Pythian reinstatements regardless of
inactive years of service. WE WELCOME ALL MEN! Participate in social and charitable events. Collation
after each meeting. For further info,
call Irv 683-4049.
LATIN AMERICAN CLUB- Upcoming events: 3/3, 7:00pm to 9:00pmgame night in the party room. 3/17,
7:00 pm to 9:00pm- general meeting
in Room C. 3/20, 5:00pm to 9:00pmLatin Dance in Party Room. Membership registration will continue
throughout this month. If you have
any questions contact Juana 646407-6808 or Nidia 561-345-8268.
Eventos para Marzo: 3/ 3 - 7:00pm9:00pm Noche del Juego en el Party
Room. 3/ 17- 7:00pm-9:00pm reunion general en cuarto C. 3/ 20,
5:00pm-9:00pm- Baile Latino en el
Party Room. Continuaremos la registracion para la miembresia durante
el mes de Marzo.Si tiene qualquier
pregunta llamar a Juana 646-4076808 o Nidia 561-345-8268
LINE DANCING CLUB (NOT JUST
COUNTRY)- Mondays and Fridays,
9:30- 11:00 AM, Clubhouse party
room. Free lessons. Call Yvon @ 6897383.
MIND SPA DISCUSSION GROUP:
Meet 2nd and 4th Thurs. 1:30 PM,
Classroom A. All invited for indepth discussions of significant issues.. Allan @ 687-3602.
NEW YORK CITY TRANSIT RETIREES: N.Y.C. Transit Retirees, Anyone
interested in attending a meeting of
the New York City Transit Retirees of
Florida, West Palm Beach Chapter,
please call Kathy - 689-0393.
NORTHERN STARS: Club meets on
the 2nd and 4th Monday each month
- 6 to 9 PM - Party Room. Enjoy singing, dancing, refreshments and good
wholesome fun. Yearly dues $5.00.
per person. For further info, call
Janisse @ 586-291-8286 or email to:
northernstarsbo@hotmail.com..

PICKLEBALL: Welcoming new members to the Pickleball club. Courts


open at 8:00 each morning, great
way to meet new people, exercise and
have lots of fun. For more info, call
Barbara Di Domenico @ 716-4996737. Come join us to learn and play
the fastest growing sport in the USA.
PRESIDENTS AND UNIT OWNERS
CLUB: Every unit owner welcome.
For Information call Jerry Karpf @
684-1487. Meetings will be held on
the 2nd Thursday of each month @
2PM in the Clubhouse in room C.
Please come.
RUSSIAN CLUB: Meets every 2nd
Thurs. monthly at 3 PM in the Art
Room If you have any questions,
please call Tamara @ 712-1417.
SAILING CLUB: Meets every 2nd Fri.
10 AM, Classroom C. Info: Ron @
683-8672.
SHUFFLEBOARD CLUB: We play
every Tuesday, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and everyone is welcome to
come and play. We meet at 1:15 and
usually finish around 3:30. We play
singles on Tuesdays, doubles on
Wednesdays, And my favorite, bowling pin, on Thursdays. Equipment
will be provided. We have all levels
of members with a wide level of playing ability, from long time players to
first time members.Our goal is to get
outside have some exercise and get to
meet new people Come and join us.
Ed Wright @ 561 632 5268.
SNORKEL CLUB: For information
call Ron Helms 683-8678
THE SCRABBLE CLUB OF CENTURY VILLAGE: Every Tues. 6 PM 2nd
Floor Card Room. For information
call Lucy @ 729-0705.

UNITED ORDER TRUE SISTERS: A


non-sectarian Cancer service group.
Meetings the 2nd Mon. monthly at
11:30 AM in Party Room. For information call Marion Polansky @ 6845814 or Marlene Schnitzer @ 6831208. Coming Events: 41st birthday
luncheon December 9th Party Room
CV entertainment Guru of Laughter. Call Shirley 478-2391.
UNITERS SOCIAL CLUB OF CENTURY VILLAGE: A group of awesome
diverse people coming together in a
united way for social times. Bring a
guest or come alone and meet other
like minded individuals. Meet up
every second Sunday of each month
in Club House Craft Room. For additional information, call Esther
561 635-4298 or 561 328-7935. Like
us on Facebook/United Social Club
of Century Village.
WALL STREET CLUB: Local resident
of CV has formed a club regarding
the stock market. We are not professionals. We are looking for fresh
ideas. Meetings will be held every
Wednesday, same time and place.
Call Don 254-0917.
YIDDISH CULTURE GROUP: The
objective of the Yiddish Culture
Club is to present programs that
perpetuate our Jewish heritage. All
of our programs are also translated into English. Our programs are
held in the Auditorium on Tuesday
morning at 10:00 A.M. Everyone is
welcome. No tickets are required.
3/1- Century Village Orchestra, 3/8Maida Feingold, 3/15- Shirra Flam,
3/22- Yiddish Culture Club Chorus Purim Program, 3/29- Surprise
Closing Program. For any additional information, please call Golda @
697-3367.

2016 INVESTIGATIONS
MONTH
JANUARY

SALES

49

RENTALS

FEBRUARY 0

OCCUPANTS

28

MARCH 0 0

14
0

WPRF
PHONE
DIRECTORY
Main Number............... 640-3120
Staff & Class Office............. Ext. 0
Ticket Office....................... Ext. 1
WPRF Maintenance Office.. Ext. 2
WPRF Accounts Receivable. Ext. 3
I.D. Office............................ Ext. 4
Administrative Office.......... Ext. 5
Main Clubhouse Security.... Ext. 6
Hastings Security................ Ext. 7
Aerobic Instructor............... Ext. 8
Gym Trainers...................... Ext. 9
Operator............................. Ext. 0

HELP
WANTED- UCO
INVESTIGATION
DEPARTMENT
The UCO Investigations
Department seeks volunteers
to work in a challenging and
rewarding environment;
interacting with residents and
real estate representatives.

TOTAL
91
0

0 0

Volunteers may select their


own work days. Office hours
are 9:00 AM to 1:00 PM,
Monday through Thursday
and 12:00 PM to 4:00 PM on
Fridays. Volunteers will need
to use computers and office
phones- we will train you.

Doctor, you may


want to hold off on that
fancy new medication.
Pharmacist called saying
it may have some minor
side effects.

PHILADELPHIA CLUB: The Greater


Philadelphia Club meets the first
Thursday of each month at 12:30
PM in the Clubhouse Party Room,
with lunch and entertainment. For
info, call Lois at 561-683-3884.
MYTHANGELO

For more information- call


UCO Investigations at

683-9336

PAGE B8 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

March Clubs

Offered at Century Village


All clubs are active as of revised date, clubs may have been discontinued or canceled since.
***TBD = to be determined. Please review updated club list from Class Office.
Club Name

Act 2
Community
Theater
Meets Every Wednesday
at 7:00p.m.
at the Clubhouse

An Invitation

TO JOIN THE
KNIGHTS OF PYTHIAS
PALM BEACH RAINBOW LODGE

#203. MEETS IN CENTURY VILLAGE, WEST PALM BEACH, FL


WELCOME NEW MEMBERS,
DUALS, REINSTATEMENTS AND
TRANSFEREES FROM OUT OF
STATE. WE ARE A FRATERNAL
BROTHERHOOD FOSTERING
THE CREDO OF
FRIENDSHIP

CHARITY
BENEVOLENCE

COME JOIN US
NON-SECTARIAN
MEETS 2nd AND 4th TUESDAYS
at 1:00 PM
CSI CAREGIVER SERVICES INC.,
100 CENTURY BLVD.,
SUITE #104
FOR MORE DETAILS AND
APPLICATIONS,
PHONE IRV 683-4049

Room

Day

Time

Act 2 Community Theater

Meeting C

Every Wednesday

7pm-9pm

Actors Studio

Class A & B

Every Monday

7pm-9pm

African Am Cultural Club

Party Room

4th Sunday

2pm-5pm

Alzheimers Caregivers Group

Art Room

2nd/4th Monday

1:30pm-3:30pm

Amit Womens Group

Party Room

2nd Tuesday

12pm-4pm

Art Take In

Party Room

Mon., March 21st

9am-1pm

Ballroom Dancing Club

Party/Art

Every Monday

2pm-4pm

Baby Boomers Book Club

Class Room B

3rd Monday

11am-12pm

Baby Boomers Club

Meeting C

3rd Wednesday

3:30pm-4:30pm

Bible Study Group

Class Room B

Every Sunday

5pm-7pm

Bingo

Party Room

Every Wednesday

5:30pm-9:30pm

Bocce with Robert

Bocce Court

Every Saturday

10:30am-12pm

Bocce Club Men

Bocce Court

Tuesday & Thursday

9am-11am

Bocce Club Women

Bocce Court

Monday & Wednesday

9am-11am

Boomer Girls

Party Room

3rd Sunday

12pm-3pm

Brooklyn Queens Club

Party Room

2nd Wednesday

1:30pm-4pm

Camera Club

Meeting C

2nd Tuesday

10am-12pm

CBA Art Club

Art Room

Every Wednesday

1pm-4pm

CBA BBQ

Picnic Island

1st Sunday

11am-4pm

CBA Bocce

Bocce Court

Every Friday

8:30am-10:30am

CBA Bridge

Card Room A

Every Tuesday

1pm-3pm

CBA Bridge

Card Room A

Every Thursday

6:30pm-10pm

CBA Chorus Tamalou

Music Room B

Every Tuesday

1:30pm-3:30pm

CBA Computer Lessons

Meeting C

Tuesdays except 2nd

9:30am-11:30am

CBA Crafters

Craft Room

Every Friday

7pm-9pm

CBA Cribbage

Card Room A

Every Sunday

7pm-10pm

CBA English Lessons

Class Room A

Every Wednesday

3pm-5pm

CBA French Lessons

Art Room

Every Tuesday

9am-10:30am

CBA Guitar Lessons

Class Room A

Every Tuesday

7:30pm-10pm

CBA Line Dancing

Art Room

Tuesday & Wednesday

7pm-9pm

CBA Shuffleboard

Shuffleboard

Every Monday

6pm-9:30pm

CBA Social Dancing

Party/Art

Every Friday

3pm-5pm

C. E. R. T.

Art Room

3rd Monday

3pm-4:30pm

Christian Club

Party Room

1st Wednesday

1pm-3:30pm

Computer Club

Meeting C

1st/3rd Thursday

1pm-3pm

Country Western Music Club

Party Room

1st/3rd Monday

7pm-9pm

Craft Creations

Craft Room

Every Tuesday

9:30am-12pm

Dance Party Club

Party Room

Every Tuesday

6pm-9pm

Democratic Club

Party Room

3rd Thursday

1pm-3pm

Fishing Club

Class Room B

1st Wednesday

3pm-4:30pm

Friends of Bill Wilson

Craft Room

Every Thursday

7pm-8pm

Great Books Discussion

Card Room B

1st/3rd Thursday

1:30pm-3:30pm

Greater Philadelphia Club

Party Room

1st Thursday

12:30pm-3pm

Gun Club

Class Room B

2nd Tuesday

7pm-8pm

Homestead Exemption

Lobby

1st Thursday

1:30pm-2:30pm

Irish American Culture Club

Party Room

1st Tuesday

2pm-4pm

Irish American Game Club

Hastings Card

Every Wednesday

6:30pm-9:30pm

Italian Am Culture Club

Party Room

3rd Wednesday

1pm-4pm

Karaoke with Janisse

Party Room

Every Friday

6pm-9pm

Karaoke with Marshall

Meeting C

Every Tuesday

6pm-9pm

Kathys Kitchen Can We Dish?

Party Room

3rd Friday

1pm-3pm

Kentucky Friends Cards

Hastings Card

Every Thursday

4:30pm-8:30pm

Kentucky Friends Pot Luck

Picnic Island

3rd Wednesday

12pm-3pm

Latin Am Club Birthdays

Party Room

1st Thursday

7pm-9pm

Latin Am Club Dances

Party Room

3rd Sunday

5pm-9pm

Latin Am Club Workshop

Meeting C

3rd Thursday

7pm-9pm

Line Dancing Club

Party Room

Monday & Friday

9:30am-11am

Mind Spa Club

Class Room A

2nd/4th Thursday

1:30pm-3pm

Northern Stars

Party Room

2nd/4th Monday

6pm-9pm

Open Art Room

Art Room

Saturday & Thursday

1pm-4pm

Pickleball Club

Pickleball Court

Every Day

8am-10pm

Polish Am. Club

Art Room

1st/3rd Thursday

6:30pm-10pm

Presidents Umbrella

Meeting C

2nd Thursday

2pm-3:30pm

Quilting Club

Sewing Room

Every Tuesday

9am-12pm

Read It, Chat About It

Card Room A

1st Tuesday

10am-12pm

Republican Club

Art Room

2nd Tuesday

1:30pm-3:30pm

Russian Club

Art Room

2nd Thursday

4pm-7pm

Sailing Club

Meeting C

2nd Friday

9:30am-11am

Sailing Club Cheerleaders

Music Room A

Every Tuesday

1pm-2:30pm

Sailing Club Pot Luck

Guest Pool

1st Tuesday

5pm-9pm

Senior Chit Chat

Class Room B

1st/3rd Tuesday

2pm-3:30pm

Shuffleboard Club

Shuffleboard

Tues/Wed/Thurs

1:15pm-3:45pm

Trivial Pursuit

Card Room B

Every Wednesday

1:30pm-3:30pm

United Order of True Sisters

Party Room

2nd Monday

11:30am-2pm

Wall Street Club

Class Room B

Every Wednesday

4:30pm-6pm

Yiddish Culture Chorus

Music Room B

Every Wednesday

1pm-3pm

Yiddish Culture Club

Theater

Every Tuesday

10am-11am

Yiddish Vinkl

Music Room B

2nd Sunday

1pm-3pm

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B9

ADVANCED MUFFLER & BRAKE


OF WEST PALM BEACH

Century Village WPB

2774 Okeechobee Blvd., West Palm Beach

2015-16 Season Show Preview

(561) 684-6882

www.CenturyVillageTheater.com

A Full Service Automotive Repair Facility


(just east of Palm Beach Lakes Blvd.)

NEW SERVICE! FRONT END ALIGNMENTS

Come in and allow us to be your friendly, trustworthy neighborhood mechanic!

SPECIALS:
A/C Service (REG. $75) Special $59.95
Coolant Flush (Reg. $109.95) Special $79.95

Wednesday Only Special:


Front End Alignment (Reg. $69.95) Special $59.95
Cooling Systems
Air Conditoning
Charging Systems
Tune Ups
Driveline Service
Fuel Induction Service

FREE
ENGINE
DIAGNOSTIC
SCAN

Transmission Services
Brakes
Exhaust Repair
Shocks & Struts
Oil Changes
Tires

SPECIAL
$26.95
OIL CHANGE

Most Cars
Must Present Coupon

with 25 Point
Courtesy Check
Must Present Coupon
Most cars. Excludes
synthetic.

*Not valid with any other offer

*Not valid with any other offer

Towing
Available
ALL OF OUR
TECHNICIANS ARE
ASE CERTIFIED!

15%

Senior
Discount
Must Present Coupon
*Not valid with any other offer

Wills Trusts Estate Planning


Probate Real Estate

AlexAnder & dAmbrA, P.A.


ATTOrneYS AT lAW
Karen Levin Alexander

Georgiana Fratella Dambra

kalexander@addlawpb.com

gmdambra@aol.com

Telephone: 561-471-5708
Fax: 561-471-7287
5737 Okeechobee Boulevard, Suite 201
West Palm Beach, Florida 33417

1/4 Mile East of the Turnpike

NOW AVAILABLE ONLINE AT


Join us on Facebook
www.facebook.com/cvtheaters

NO WEAPONS OF
ANY KIND ALLOWED
ON RECREATIONAL
PROPERTIES
VIOLATORS WILL BE REMOVED
FROM THE PROPERTY AND RISK
SUSPENSION OF THEIR
PRIVILEGES

SENIORS VS. CRIME


Seniors vs. Crime, a service provided to Century Village
residents by volunteers working with the Palm Beach
County Sheriffs office, announces new, expanded
hours at the UCO Office, 2102 West Drive.
New hours are Monday and Wednesday,
1PM to 3PM and Friday, 9AM to 12PM.
Telephone number for Seniors vs. Crime is 721-7424

PAGE B10 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

SHAKESPEARE FROM MIAMI TO JUPITER & BROADWAY


A R T S A N D E N T E R TA I N M E N T BY I R V R I KO N
This year commemorates the
400th anniversary of the death of
William Shakespeare. To mark the
occasion, the Patricia And Phillip Frost
Art Museum located in the Florida
International
University
campus
in Miami, is hosting a touring
exhibition organized by the Folger
Shakespeare Library in Washington,
D. C. Entitled First Folio! The
Book That Gave Us Shakespeare!
the Miami exhibition runs through
February 28, 2016. Folger, it should
be noted, holds the largest collection
of First Folios in the world.
Shakespeare is generally regarded
as the greatest writer in the English
language. Born on April 23, 1564,
in Stratford-upon-Avon, England,
he was an actor and poet as well as
a playwright. His works include
38 plays, 154 sonnets and two long
narrative poems. The First Folio
is a first edition of his collected
works. It features 36 plays and was
published in 1623, seven years after
Shakespeare's death. 750 copies
were printed of which only 233 are
now known to exist. Eighteen of the
folio's plays had not been published
prior to his demise in 1616. Some of
those include Antony and Cleopatra,
Julius Caesar, The Tempest, Twelfth
Night and As You Like It.
No two copies of the First Folio,
which was proofread as it was printed,
are the same.
Printing presses
stopped routinely as corrections in

the plays were made. Various owners


bound and rebound their personal
copies differently. Pages in some
folios were trimmed, so that sizes are
not identical. The Folio was written
in "old English," not quite the stillevolving English of today. Thus
owners added handwritten notes
and drawings, rendering each copy
virtually unique. In 2006 one mint
condition First Folio was auctioned
in London, where it sold for $5.2
million.
FIU will be the only place in
Florida to hold this distinctive
exhibition.
Admission to The
Patricia and Phillip Frost Art
Museum is free. Tuesday through
Saturday it is opened 10:00AM to
5:00PM. Sunday hours are 12:00PM
to 5:00PM. Monday the Museum is
closed. There are additional events
and programs scheduled with the
exhibition, including a Closing
Festival on February 28. For further
information, a web site is available:
https://folio.fiu.edu/events.html.
The complete address is as follows:
Florida International University
Patricia and Phillip Frost Art
Museum
10975 S.W. 17th Street
Miami, Fl. 33199

one of America's greatest dramatic


musicals, with music by Leonard
Bernstein,
lyrics
by
Stephen
Sondheim and book by Arthur
Laurents, set in New York City, is an
adaptation of Shakespeare's Romeo
and Juliet.
For the merry side of Shakespeare,
head to Jupiter, where the MALTZ
JUPITER THEATRE will produce
Kiss Me, Kate! March 8 - 27. One of
America's funniest musicals, with
music by Cole Porter and book by Sam
and Bella Spewack, it's a play within
a play. The two leads of a theatrical
company, formerly husband and
wife, are performing Shakespeare's
Taming of the Shrew. Offstage they
behave much as the characters they
portray onstage which, for viewers,
means hilariously. At one point,
gangsters threaten the husband.
When he tells them he's producing a
Shakespeare play, that gives them an
excuse to sing and dance. While the
melody is one you'll leave the theater
humming,
here are the words Cole Porter
uses to describe his feelings about
the Bard:

Shakespeare isn't just Shakespeare


anymore. Playwrights are forever
adapting the Bard's works for the
modern stage. West Side Story,

Brush up your Shakespeare,

Brush up your Shakespeare.


Start quoting him now.
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from

"Othella"
And they'll think you're a helluva
fella.
If your blonde won't respond when
you flatter 'er,
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer.
If she fights when her clothes you
are mussing,
What are clothes?
About Nussing."

"Much Ado

Brush up your Shakespeare


And they'll all kowtow.
Then go to the St. James Theatre
on 44th Street in New York City
to see Something Rotten, an
uproarious musical comedy about
Shakespeare himself and two of his
contemporaries, brothers who are
also playwrights. They hate him.
During the course of the show,
Shakespeare acts, becomes a song
and dance man, and writes Hamlet.
Meanwhile, the older brother, with
advice from a soothsayer related to
Nostradamus who likewise peers
into the future, writes the world's
very first musical. Rarely have I
laughed so hard and loud as I did
watching this show. Sometimes I
missed lines in the play because the
whole audience was howling with
laughter.
Yes, Shakespeare lives!

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B11

PAGE B12 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

Seasons Greetings

from

$2

OFF

UPS
SHIPPING

The UPS Store

PUBLIX/VILLAGE COMMONS

Limit one coupon per customer. Not valid with other offers.
Restrictions apply. The UPS Store centers are independently owned
and operated.

931 VILLAGE BLVD. STE. #905


WEST PALM BEACH, FL 33409

Expires:

561-478-7048

02/29/16

$2

theupsstorelocal.com/0467

OFF

PACKAGING
WHEN WE PACK

Mailbox Services
Postal Services
Moving Supplies
Luggage Boxes
Office Supplies
Greeting Cards
Freight Services
Secure Document Shredding

Printing Services
Package Pickup Service
Packaging Materials
Packing & Shipping
Retail Items
Fax Services
Notary Services

WPRF NEWS
BY E VA R ACHESK Y
D e a r
Residents,
In
my
February
article I wrote
about WPRF
ID cards and
that,
when
asked, said ID
Eva Rachesky card MUST be
presented as
V.P., WPRF
proof that you
have the right
to be on recreational property. I am
dismayed that so many are refusing
to show their ID cards when asked,
saying they felt they were being
targeted.
What I am targeting are the locals
that come in on a regular basis,
without a guest pass, and STEAL
what you are paying to use, maintain
and replace. Additionally, there are
approximately 14,000 residents from
January to March with thousands
accessing the recreational facilities.
Spot checking IDs sends a clear
message that WPRF is watching and
protecting what you are paying for.
Please do not verbally assault the
Security Guards as they do not make
the policies, WPRF does. Security
is just being asked to enforce them.
If you have something to say on the
matter please call or come to see me
in my office which is located upstairs
by the library. I am always willing to
listen and discuss any matter that
concerns the residents.
Ive been receiving reports that
in the early morning hours some
residents have come across people
swimming in the nude. Whether it is

skinny dipping or ritualistic bathing


it is classified as Indecent Exposure
and is considered a crime. The last
thing I would want to do is bring in
the local authorities, but I will be
left with no choice if this does not
stop. As an added incentive I will be
looking into installing cameras so
that our Security Officers can help
monitor this issue while allowing me
to provide video to the Palm Beach
Sheriffs Office.
Now onto the subject of the
Indoor Pool mural.it is complete
and fabulous and, from all reports,
is a huge hit. The tropical rain forest
theme adds an incredible WOW
factor to the area. If you have not
seen it, please stop by.it is a true
work of art! Another project that is
wrapping up is the installation of new
Petanque courts located next to the
Shuffleboard courts. The new space
doubles the amount of space for play
and will be enjoyed by many. New
landscaping will be added over the
summer months to bring additional
beauty to the Petanque area as well as
to the Guest Pool.
Lastly, I would like to touch on
our theater attendance which seems
to be up this year. While this is
good news, the down side is our lack
of parking. Please, please, please
consider carpooling or taking the
bus, thereby reducing the number
of cars circling for a parking space.
I have grave concern that a vehicle
will hit a pedestrian; and though
Security does an incredible job of
keeping everyone safe I continue to
have nightmares that it could still
happen.

Amplified Telephone
At NO CHARGE for Hard of Hearing Florida Residents
Provided by Florida Telecommunications Relay, Inc.
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Valid Permanent Florida Resident Identification
To find out if you qualify, please call Deaf Service Center of Palm Beach
County, Inc. West Palm Beach (561) 802-3353 M-F 8am4:30pm
Delray Beach (561) 278-6444 M-W-F 9am3pm

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ALL FLORIDA
VOTERS!
IF YOU WANT TO VOTE BY
MAIL-IN BALLOT CALL:
SUPERVISOR OF ELECTIONS
MONDAY-FRIDAY
8:30 A.M. - 5 P.M.
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IN THE CLUBHOUSE LOBBY
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CALL CONNIE (688-1934) FOR
ASSISTANCE.

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B13

DADS DOOR & WINDOW, INC.


Dad Gets It Done!

Impact Windows Hurricane Shutters


Acrylic Patio Enclosures
Tub Enclosures Shower Doors
Matt Mynahan U-19958 U-20177

Call
561-333-1036

INDOOR POOL
EXTERIOR DOORS
WILL BE LOCKED NIGHTLY AT

7:00 PM
PLEASE USE MAIN ENTRANCE
W.P.R.F., Inc.

NOTICE TO RESIDENTS
NEW PARKING ENFORCEMENT
AT CLUBHOUSE

CV CLUBHOUSE MANAGEMENT HAS CONTRACTED WITH A


TOWING SERVICE TO CONTROL UNAUTHORIZED PARKING.
VEHICLES THAT ARE PARKED IN PLACES OTHER THAN
MARKED SPACES WILL BE SUBJECT TO TOWING.

HEALTH CLUB HOURS


7:00 AM 10:30 PM
STAFF COVERAGE:
MONDAY THRU FRIDAY
7:00 AM 3:00 PM
SATURDAY & SUNDAY
8:00 AM 12:00 PM
GUEST HOURS FOR THE MONTHS OF:
JANUARY, FEBRUARY & MARCH
1:00 PM10:30 PM

PAGE B14 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

WILD ANIMALS, OH MY!


BY B O B B I L E V I N

Im an animal lover. I support


the Palm Beach Zoo and
visit it regularly. I take
out-of-town guests to
McCarthys Wildlife
Sanctuary to learn
about endangered
species from the
owner, a big cat
expert. If I catch a
gecko in my condo,
I return it to the great
outdoors. And, I dream
about taking photos
while on a safari in Kenya
and Botswana. Since that
isnt going to happen in
the foreseeable future, my
sister and I made a return
visit to Lion Country
Safari in Loxahatchee last
week in the hopes of seeing
some unusual animals and birds
close to home.
Company literature says that as
the nations first cageless zoo, Lion
Country Safari has been a leader in
the conservation movement since
1967. It is actively involved in Species
Survival Programs and participates in
the ChimpanZoo Observer program.
As a licensed rehabilitation facility, it

offers
care before
returning
animals to the wild.
Located 10 miles west of the
Florida Turnpike on Southern
Blvd., the complex includes both a

drive-through safari park and an


amusement park. Admission prices
vary and discount passes are often
found online and in newspapers.
Upon entering the drivethrough safari, you are lent
an explanatory CD to
install in your car
radio and a field
guide describing
the animals in the
preserve. You are
instructed to keep
the windows and
doors of your vehicle
closed and locked at all
times and do not leave
the vehicle for any reason.
Although
a
brochure
states that you may drive
through this section of the
park as often as you like at
no additional cost, we were
denied that option.
The drive-through safari
park is divided into 6 different
sections. Las Palmas, the grassland
area of South America, is where
we spotted ostriches, pelicans, and
llamas. Gorongosa Reserve, located
in northern Mozambique, is one of
Africas famous wildlife areas and

is where we saw horned oryx and


a pride of lions. Ruaha National
Park area, also in Africa, featured
herds of greater kudu and impala.
The Serengeti Plains, east Africas
most famous wildlife area, featured
wildebeest, waterbuck, eland, and
watusi. Gir Forest, a national park
in India, is the area where we spotted
water buffalo, nilgai and blackbucks.
Hwange National Park, located in
western Zimbabwe, is the area of
the park where we saw nyala, zebras,
chimpanzees, giraffes and a white
rhinoceros.
In fact, we found the drivethrough safari experience rather
boring. Perhaps the temperature
(about 70 degrees) and the time of
day (11 a.m.) had something to do
with how inactive the animals were
-- all the lions (enclosed in a pen)
were asleep, the one rhino was too
far away to appreciate, and only two
chimpanzees were visible in their
enclosure. It is hard to differentiate
between oryx, gemsboks and impalas
while maneuvering a car and listening
to a CD. I seem to remember many
more roaming animals during my
last visit, including elephants and
herds of rhino. And, Ive seen more

THE FELDMAN AND SACKS FAMILIES

WELCOME YOU!

SUBWAY AT OKEECHOBEE BLVD


AND THE FLORIDA TURNPIKE
6080 OKEECHOBEE BLVD,
WEST PALM BEACH, FL 33417
561-686-2299
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For a limited time only at location listed. Void if transferred, sold, reproduced or auctioned. Additional charge for extras, including Deluxe
subs. Plus applicable tax. No cash value. Not for sale. One coupon per customer, per visit. May not be combined with other offers, coupons
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MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B15

turtles and birds on the lake outside


my condo.
If you have young children
visiting, you might want to consider
a day at Lion Country Safari.
Included in your admission ticket
is entry into both the drive-through
safari and the walk-through Safari
World Amusement Park. The later
is a Disney-like complex and offers
many complimentary attractions
including water slides, a carousel,
a flying elephant ride, paddleboat

rental, miniature golf, and a safari


maze. You can pan for gems and
stones or ride on the El Paso Train.
Bring bathing suits and cool off
in Safari Splash with 23 interactive
water functions.
Visitors can
interact with the lories at the Lory
Feeding Aviary, the giraffe at the
Giraffe Feeding Area, and the sheep
or goats at the Petting Zoo. Exhibit
talks are scheduled throughout the
day. Wear comfortable shoes as you
will be doing a lot of walking.

The restrooms that I used were,


unfortunately, not clean or wellmaintained -- dirty floors, discolored
mirrors, and there was no soap.
There are many restaurants and
gift shops throughout the park.
Bottled water is pricey so I suggest you
bring your own. I assume the pizza
is the best in the world because the
prices for a pie were exorbitant. the
fried dough covered with powdered
sugar was yummy!
While I did not have any children

with me, I did enjoy walking


through the amusement park and
seeing the looks of amazement
on toddlers faces as they got up
close and personal with small farm
animals and colorful birds. I did
get the chance to ask questions of
the attendants in both the tortoise
enclosure and the giraffe feeding
area so I, along with the five-yearolds, learned some interesting facts.
If you are looking for an exciting,
wild animal safari experience, Lion
Country Safari may disappoint you.
However, if you have young children
to entertain, the two-park complex is
worth a visit.
Check the company website for
complete information on hours,
fees, attractions, etc.
at www.
lioncountrysafari.com

The

Readers Corner
BY LENORE VELCOFF

THE MAG IC STR INGS OF FR ANKIE PR ESTO


The Magic Strings of Frankie
Presto is the story of a gifted
musician who was abandoned at
birth and wanders through life, fame
and fortune, and solitude along
with a guitar that has strings that
turn blue. Many voices tell the story
of Mitch Alboms latest tale. I was
not going to write it up because it is
a strange book but my friend Belle
told me how much she loved it, so
I decided to let you make your own
decision.
The narrator of the story is Music.
That's right. Albom treats music
like a person and he tells the life
story of Presto, as do other people
who have given Albom permission
to use their names and to tell about
their connection with this fictional
character. The reader is taken from
Spain to England to Detroit, to New
Zealand and New Orleans, and so
many other places where Frankie
Presto plays his guitar, sings, and
has his path overlapped by famous
and legendary musical figures such
as Elvis Presley, Duke Ellington, and

Lyle Lovett.
The multiple time periods were
right up my alley and the way he
weaved real-life people into Frankies
story was imaginative. As I read along
I was very eager to see what music
icon would be introduced next. From
infancy music was Frankies savior
and served as his constant companion
throughout his life. All the while,
Frankie reels from the memories
of his grueling childhood in a civil
war-strewn Spain and his apparent
orphaning and later abandonment
in England. It takes decades for him
to come to terms with his mistakes
and his shortcomings, something
many creative types suffer.
I found that Albom did a great job
developing both the main character
in the book as well as the supporting
characters. In addition he did a good
job of setting the scenes in the book
from the burning church where
Frankie was born to the Woodstock
Music festival. This story tells
Frankie's life and the impact it had
on people close to him and to those

who were at a distance.


It was really unlike any story that
I have read to date. The narrator of
Music also reminds the
reader/listener of the
importance of music
and musicians. I don't
think you need to be
a music lover to enjoy
this book, but if you
are you will enjoy it
immensely. This book
captured me from
the first paragraph
and didn't let me go
until I finished it. The
narrator of this book,
Music, describes how
we are imbued with him
from birth. He relates
the story of one of the
musicians he infused:
Frankie Presto, whose
tale starts and ends
in Villareal Spain,
where he is thoroughly
trained on the guitar. I
won't say more because

I think the beauty of this book is to


not know the plot beforehand. Most
reviewers loved it. Im not sure.

PAGE B16 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

CLASSIFIED
FOR SALE
Kent C- 1 bdrm, 1 bath, beautiful water view, rentable, furnished, enclosed
patio, 2nd FL w/ lift, near pool, reduced to $36,500. 561-568-4856 or
613-800-4806.

Prices for the ads are: Real Estate


-$10.00 for first 4 lines, additional
lines are $2.00. Classified-$5.00
for first 4 lines-additional lines
are $1.00. All ads must be paid in
advance by the 7th of the month
prior to the edition they will appear. Classified ads are printed on
a space available basis. Ads may be
placed for 1, 2 or 3 months. Submissions must be made at the UCO
office at 24 Camden A (Camden
Pool).


downstairs, immaculate.
1 bdrm., 1 bath,

upstairs, nice condition.
1 bdrm, 1 bath,

downstairs with dishwasher.
1 bdrm, 1 bath, downstairs.
Call David- 471-8124

Southampton B- 2 bedroom, 1.5


Camden N- 329 Camden N- 1.15 2nd
baths, updated unit, furnished. Huge
floor end unit. Wraparound shutters,
Florida room- tiled and glassed in. A
enclosed balcony. $30,000. 1-561must see. 561-845-1133.
684-2614. Firm.
For Sale- 1 bedroom, 1.5 bathroom
Hastings D- 58 Hastings D- 2nd
ground floor apartment. All tiled, exfloor- 1 bed, 1.5 bath, fully furnished,
cellent condition. $39,000 OBO. Call
turn key. All tiled, central AC, close
561-502-1879.
to pool, $39,900. + Jaguar 2004 SType- $7000. 561-469-6090.
Lake Condo For Sale- 1.1.5, Stratford
O. New SS appliances, floors, hurriKent C- 1 bedroom, 1 bath, fully
cane windows, kosher kitchen, 2 pafurnished, rentable, beautiful water
tios, unfurnished, C/A/H. $49,850.
view. $39,5000. Phone 613-800-4606
631-807-0330 or 561-616-0981.
or 561- 568-4956.
Kingswood C, For Sale or Rent 1 bdrm., 1 bath,

Wanted to Buy- 2 bedroom, 2 bath,


ground floor, near Clubhouse. Call
Lorraine Levy- Phone 1-718-4498321.
For Rent- Northampton F, 1 bdrm,
1.5 bath updated unit, lakeview, unfurnished, yearly lease, florida room
tiled and glassed in, $750/month/
yearly lease.

MISCELLANEOUS
For Sale- Laptop, Dell M70 Precision, Windows 7 Home Premium,
Intel 2.27 ghz, 2 GB memory, 15
screen, 80 GB hard drive, mouse, MS
Office 2007, carry case. George 6834517.
For Sale- 3 wheel bike all new tires,
good brand. $142 or best offer. Call
561-346-1803.

For Rent- Camden 1-1 upstairs, May


1st 2016, call 718-441-5338

NEW
OFFICE HOURS
FOR THE UCO
REPORTER
MONDAY THROUGH
THURSDAY, 9:00AM
TO 12:00 NOON
UCO REPORTER STAFF MAY BE
CONTACTED ANY TIME AT THE
FOLLOWING EMAIL ADDRESS:

UCOREPORTERWPB@GMAIL.COM

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B17

Our Cruise
speCial priCing
Cuba - Land Tours
People to People Experience
Cuba - Sea and Land Tours
Taste of China Tours
Multiple Dates Available

5 Night Western Caribbean RCCL Indpndnce of the Seas 4-4-16 $529.88


7 Night Western Caribbean NCL Getaway (New Ship) 6-26-16 .$1141.32
7 Night Eastern Caribbean NCL Escape (New Ship) 10-8-16 ........$818.64
7 Night Eastern Caribbean RCCL Allure of the Seas 10-9-16 .......$781.14
15 Night Panama Canal Princess Island Princess 12-5-16 ............$2144.00
15 Night Viking River Cruise 8-26-16 ........................................$4236.50

* Onboard Credits and Special Offers Maybe Applicable


* All Prices are Per Person Double Occupancy

Jim 561-792-4197
Jim@GoTravelJMB.com

B Y LAND, SEA OR A I R,
W E CAN G ET YOU THERE

Susan Wolfman
RE/MAX DIRECT

Buyer Specialist
561-401-8704 Office
561-340-1980 Fax

Hall of Fame

#1 REMAX
in
Century
Village

email: wolfieremax@gmail.com Visit my website ~ susanwolfman.com


SOMERSET C
2 bedroom/2 bath ground floor lakeside. Enjoy your own private deck
on the lake and watch the sailboats go by. All new decorators
delight. Top of the line kitchen and baths. Porcelain tile
throughout, across from pool, tennis and pickleball .......... $110,000
Ground Floor ~ 1 BED/1 BATH
SALISBURY C Turnkey, move-in ready! All nu kitchen, nu appliances,
nu A/Cs, nu bath, ceramic tile, nicely furn., patio on greenway .... $34,900
Upper Floor ~ 1 BED/1 BATH
SUSSEX K Stunning! New kitchen and bath, tile and laminate
flooring, nicely furnished ................................................................. $34,500
CHATHAM L
2 bedroom, 2 bath, very special upper corner, lake side,
tile throughout, furnished, stunning baths, must see!! ............ $64,500
Upper Floor ~ 1 BED/1 BATH
CANTERBURY F 2nd floor, peaceful location, rentable,
light & bright, priced to sell ............................................................. $27,500
BERKSHIRE E Tile throughout this perfect corner unit. Turnkey,
walk to pools, nice views from all sides ........................................... $36,500
ANDOVER H Stunning corner, quiet cul de sac, tile, furnished,
glass enclosed porch, move-in ready ................................................ $34,900
HASTINGS D Great buy! Ceramic tile, nicely furnished, turnkey.
Walk to health club & pools. ............................................................ $39,900
CANTERBURY H Outside corner on greenway, updated nu kitchen,
ceramic tile, walk to popular pool, very private .............................. $59,900
GREENBRIER B
WOW!! 2 bedroom, 2 bath, lower, oversized, park at your door,
great opportunity for this location! ......................................... $74,500

WELLINGTON G
WOW!!! 2 bedroom, 2 bath, park at your door. Oversized, completely
renovated, front to back! New kitchen, new baths, like new
appliances, hurricane windows, lovely lake view from
enclosed finished patio, sliders .............................................. $112,500
Ground Floor ~ 2 BEDROOM/1 BATH
WALTHAM A Walk to clubhouse and gate. Great price,
lots of potential ............................................................................... $35,000
GREENBRIER B
2 bedroom, 2 bath, stunning, turnkey, tile thru-out, hurricane
protection, updated kitchen & baths, must see to believe! ......$99,900
Upper Floor ~ 2 BEDROOM/1 BATH
KENT D Great price, light & bright, poolside, rentable .................... $39,000
EASTHAMPTON F Walk to clubhouse and gate from light & bright
outside corner. Clean, central A/C, furnished ................................ $42,000
WELLINGTON
WELLINGTON G, 2 bed, 2 bath, park at your door, grd flr, nicely furn.,
nu kitchen, tile, updated baths, oversized patio .......................$99,900
WELLINGTON D, 1 bed, 1 bath, spacious flr plan, oversized dressing
area, tons of closet space, tile, part. furn., on cul-de-sac, ........$44,900
WELLINGTON G, 2 bed, 2 bath, grd flr, porcelain tile, nu kitchen,
stainless appl., newer A/C & WH, nu baths, encl. patio ..........$97,500

List your Condo with Remax for Fast Results!!

PAGE B18 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

Okeechobee Branch

LIBRARY NEWS
BY C H A R L E S WAU G H
March at the library brings a
fantastic crop of timely educational
classes for your enjoyment and
enlightenment! Attend a variety
of workshops ranging from The
Manners of Downton Abbey to
Job Hunting Tips. Participate in a
discussion of the Palm Beach County
Read Together book The Light in
the Ruins by Chris Bohjalian. A
representative from SHINE will
help you understand your Medicare
options, and Adult Coloring is back
for another fun session. The AARP/
IRS Tax Help continues, so make sure
to bring your current tax documents
and a copy of last years completed
tax return.
The library provides computer
and ebook classes every month and
March is no exception. Whether you
are just starting and want to learn

how to control a computer with the


mouse, explore ebooks, or learn
word processing and electronic
spreadsheets, we have the educational
tools to help. Not only does the
Palm Beach County Library System
conduct regular computer classes at
each branch but we also have many
online resources for you to learn and
practice your computing skills!
The Okeechobee Boulevard Branch
Library is located next to Dunkin'
Donuts. The hours are: Monday,
Tuesday, and Wednesday from 10:00
a.m. to 8:00 p.m., Thursday and
Friday from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m.,
and Saturday from 10:00 a.m. to 5:00
p.m. All Village residents, including
seasonal residents, are eligible for
a free library card with proper I.D.
Visit the library today!

March Events
Thursdays, 10:00 a.m.
Fridays, 10:00 a.m.
Mon, March 7, 12:30 p.m.
Tue, March 8, 8:30 a.m.
Tue, March 8, 11:00 a.m.
Wed, March 9, 10:30 a.m.
Mon, March 14, 12:30 p.m.
Tue, March 15, 3:00 p.m.
Mon, March 21, 3:00 p.m.
Tue, March 22, 8:30 a.m.
Tue, March 22, 1:00 p.m.
Wed, March 23, 3:30 p.m.
Mon, March 28, 1:30 p.m.

AARP/IRS Tax Help


AARP/IRS Tax Help
Manners of Downton Abbey
Mousing
Medicare 101
Book Discussion
eBook Assistance
Job Hunt Basics
Word 2007 (hands-on)
Browser Basics (hands-on)
Movie
Adult Coloring
Excel 2007 (hands-on)

Okeechobee Blvd. Branch Library


5689 Okeechobee Blvd.
West Palm Beach, FL 33417
(561) 2331880

www.pbclibrary.org

ACTORS STUDIO
PROUDLY PRESENTS

ON RYE
WITH MUSTARD
WHEN YOURE HUNGRY FOR A LAUGH

Two Act Play

by: E. Protter
The
S P O T L I G H T
Performance
At The Dance Club In The Party Room 6:30PM

The Spotlight Performance

Will Be Seen In Four PartsEach About 20 Min


Over 4-Weeks. Starts At 7:30PM
Part 1- 2/16 Part 2 2/23 Part 3- 3/1 Part 4 3/8

UCO REPORTER HOME DELIVERY


HOME DELIVERY OF THE UCO REPORTER IS AVAILABLE.
POSTAGE RATE FOR U.S. HOME DELIVERY IS $3.25 PER MONTH. POSTAGE RATE FOR
CANADIAN HOME DELIVERY IS $5.25 PER MONTH. HOME DELIVERY ORDERS ARE
ACCEPTED AT THE UCO REPORTER OFFICE, 24 CAMDEN A, TUESDAY, WEDNESDAY AND
THURSDAY FROM 9:00 AM TO 12:00 PM. YOU WILL BE ASKED TO ADDRESS A
MANILA MAILING ENVELOPE (WHICH WE SUPPLY) FOR EACH MONTH YOU WANT THE
PAY BY CHECK OR EXACT CHANGE CASH, PLEASE. U.S. FUNDS ONLY, PLEASE.

THE UCO REPORTER IS ALSO AVAILABLE TO READ


ONLINE: WWW.UCO-REPORTER.BLOGSPOT.COM

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B19

IMPORTANT
TELEPHONE NUMBERS
UCO OFFICE ......................683-9189..................HOURS 9 - 1PM

MON -THUR.

FRI. - 12-4PM.
UCO REPORTER..................683-9336............... HOURS 9 - 12PM
MON-THURS
FRI.-BY APPT.

VISITORS CALL IN..............................................................689-1759
WPRF CLUBHOUSE........................................................... 640-3120
HASTINGS CLUBHOUSE.................................................. 687-4875
WPRF - MAIN NUMBER................................................... 640-3111
CV SECURITY......................................................................689-0432
POLICE/FIRE/AMBULANCE........................................................911
COMMUNITY SERVICES..............................................................211
WEST PALM HOSPITAL.....................................................842-6141
ST. MARYS HOSPITAL..................................................... 844-6300
VA HOSPITAL ..................................................................... 422-6838
GOOD SAMARITAN HOSPITAL...................................... 655-5511
JFK MEDICAL CENTER..................................................... 965-7300
WELLINGTON REGIONAL...............................................798-8500

QUALITY MEDICAL CARE

Close to Home
We are honored to be a part of the Century Village community
providing quality healthcare to you and your neighbors. We are
conveniently located near you at:

5405 Okeechobee Boulevard, Suite 100


West Palm Beach, FL 33417
FREE TRANSPORTATION is provided from Century Village to our office.

On-Site Services Include:


Echocardiogram
EKG
Laboratory
Nuclear Stress Testing
Wound Care

Our Physicians Specialize in:


Cardiology
Dermatology
Gynecology
Internal Medicine/Geriatrics
Wound Care

CALL TO MAKE AN
APPOINTMENT:

(561) 697-3131
Se habla espaol
Dr. Leon Uribe

Vivian Carta-Sanchez,
ARNP, DNP

TenetFloridaPhysicianServices.com

PAGE B20 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

Peterson Rehabilitation
A Name You can Trust

FREE TRANSPORTATION
Serving the Community
for 20 Years
www.Petersonrehabilitation.com

561-697-8800
5912 Okeechobee Blvd.
West Palm Beach, FL 33417

Fitness
Classes
Call for
more info

INTEGRATIVE FOOT & ANKLE


NOW IN

CENTURY VILLAGE MEDICAL CENTER

DR. DANIEL PERO & DR. KARL MICHEL


PODIATRY
*

YOUR FIRST
STEP TO
HEALTH &
WELLNESS

HOME
VISITS
AVAILABLE*

BOOK YOUR APPOINTMENT NOW!

(561) 293 3439


* Home visits upon request and qualifications

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B21

Century Village Class Schedule


All classes are NOT final, and are subject to change. SIGN UP IN THE TICKET OFFICE.

M O N DAY
COURSE NAME

STARTS

TIME

COST

MTRLS

WEEKS

ROOM

Paper Beading Class ***New Instructor


Laughter Yoga
Stained Glass for Beginners - Mondays
Bridge Beginners
Bridge Fundamentals
Memoir Writing
Circle Dancing ***New Class
Duplicate Bridge (OPEN)

3/14/2016
3/7/2016
3/14/2016
3/14/2016
3/7/2016
3/7/2016
3/7/2016
3/7/2016

10am-11:30am
10am-11:30am
1pm-3pm
10:30am-12:30pm
12:30pm-2:30pm
1:30pm-3pm
11:30am-1pm
6:30pm-9:30pm

$20
$20
$20
$20
$20
$5
$20
$5

****

****

4
4
5
4
4
2 Lessons
4
1

Craft
Class A/B
Stained Glass
Card A
Card A
Craft
Art
Card A

****
****

T U E S DAY
COURSE NAME

STARTS

TIME

COST

MTRLS

WEEKS

ROOM

Ceramics (Tuesday & Friday Morning)


Stained Glass - Advanced
Tap Dance for Beginners & Intermediate
English Lessons
Mah Jongg for Beginners
Continuing Mah Jongg
Watercolor with Humor (Beginners)
Spanish Lessons - Intermediate
Spanish for Beginners

ongoing
3/1/2016
3/8/2016
3/15/2016
3/1/2016
3/1/2016
2/23/15
3/22/2016
3/15/2016

9am-11am
9:30am-11:30am
11am-12pm
11am-12:30pm
1:30pm-3:30pm
1:30pm-3:30pm
1:30pm-3:30pm
12:30pm-2pm
3pm-4:30pm

$36
$20
$24
$24
$20
$10
$24
$24
$24

****
****
****

6
5
4
4
4
4
4
4
4

Ceramics
Stained Glass
Party Room
Class B
Card B
Card B
Art
Class A
Class A

WEEKS

ROOM

4
6
6
4
4
4

Art
Art
Meeting C
Class B
Stained Glass
Art

****

W E D N E S DAY
COURSE NAME

STARTS

TIME

COST

Latin Rhythm Dance


Bridge Supervised Play
Lecture Series with Myrna
Breathing, Visualization & Meditation
Stained Glass for Beginners - Wednesdays
Ballroom Dancing Lessons ***New Class

3/9/2016
3/9/2016
2/17/2016
3/2/2016
3/9/2016
3/9/2016

10am-11am
10:30am-12:30pm
10:30am-12pm
1:30pm-3pm
6pm-8pm
4:30pm-5:30pm

$20
$30
$25
$24
$20
$20

MTRLS

****
****

T H U R S DAY
COURSE NAME

STARTS

TIME

COST

MTRLS

WEEKS

ROOM

Painting Workshop
Conversational Yiddish
Political Flash Point ***New Class
Tai Chi Qigong ***New Instructor
Stained Glass for Beginners - Thursdays
Gentle Chair Yoga
French Lessons
Ceramics (Thursday Evening)

ongoing
2/18/2016
3/3/2016
3/10/2016
3/3/2016
3/3/2016
3/31/2016
ongoing

9:30-11:30am
10am-11am
10:30am-12:30pm
11am-12pm
1pm-3pm
1:30pm-2:30pm
4:30pm-6:30pm
6:30pm-8:30pm

$20
$7
$16
$20
$20
$24
$36
$36

****

****
****
****
****

4
6
4
4
6
4
4
6

Art
Class A
Card B
Fitness
Stained Glass
Class A
Class A
Ceramic

F R I DAY
COURSE NAME

STARTS

TIME

COST

MTRLS

WEEKS

ROOM

Ceramics (Tuesdays & Fridays)


Canasta for Beginners

ongoing
3/18/2016

9am-11am
1:30-3:30pm

$36
$20

****

6
4

Ceramics
Card B

MTRLS

WEEKS

ROOM

4
4

Art Room
Art Room

ANY TIME
COURSE NAME

STARTS

TIME

COST

Basic Ballroom Private InstructionSingle


Basic Ballroom Private InstructionCouple

By Appt.
By Appt.

By Appt.
By Appt.

$60
$90

METRO DRIVING CLASS: Friday, March 18th, 2016


TO SIGN UP: BRING DRIVERS LICENSE & A CHECK MADE OUT TO D.O.T.S. FOR $15. No Refunds or new registrations after the end of the2nd class. Room
location subject to change and/or modification X= no fee/ongoing class. $15.00 service charge on all returned checks. ****= materials

HAVE A NEW CLASS IDEA? INTERESTED IN TEACHING HERE AT CENTURY VILLAGE? CALL KRISTY IN THE CLASS OFFICE OR STOP IN TO DISCUSS.

PAGE B22 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

P O L I T I C A L

Message from Sheriff From Representative


Ric Bradshaw
Ted Deutch
BY R I C B R A D S H AW
At the Sheriffs
Office,
we
take bullying
very seriously.
Bullying,
as
you may know,
is a form of
aggressive
behavior
in
which someone causes another
person injury or discomfort through
physical contact, words, or other
actions.
For many victims, bullying starts
at the elementary school level, with
subtle actions such as kids not
wanting to take turns going down
the slide or refusing to share their
toys and taking items from other
children. By high school, those
bullied can suffer from mental health
problems including depression,
headaches and anxiety, and can
contemplate suicide. Children and
adolescents who are bullies are at
increased risk for substance use,
academic problems, and violence to
others later in life.
In response, my staff has created
an award-winning anti-bullying
program at two Lake Worth
elementary schools that we envision
expanding to other schools across
Palm Beach County.
Since 2012, more than 100
children in fourth and fifth grades
have graduated from our 12-week
program in which students learn
in the classroom about bullying
behaviors and then get rewarded for
participating by playing kickball.
Many of the students are at risk,
coming from poor families where
parents are working a lot and some
family members are involved in gang
activity. The program at North Grade
Elementary School and South Grade

Elementary School teaches the youth


how to follow directions, problem
solve and use tools. They learn once
a week for one hour how to avoid
bullying and gangs and how to avoid
becoming victims of crime.
Part of the program is having my
deputies work elbow-to-elbow with
the students in building motorized
erector set cars. These experiences
teach students about the work law
enforcement does as well as the
meaning of respect, working hard,
and being productive citizens.
Those completing the cars project
get certificates and a day trip to
LEGOLAND in Winter Haven, Fla.
This is a big honor for these students
because they dont get recognized
often and many have never been to
LEGOLAND or many other places
outside of our county.
Our anti-bullying initiative caught
the attention of the Anti-Defamation
League, which has partnered with us
in its No Place for Hate School. Our
program has been widely covered
by our local news and has received
commendations from Congressman
Alcee Hastings and many others in
the community. My deputies are
constantly being approached by
teachers and principals from other
schools who are interested in learning
more about our program in hopes of
starting it in their schools.
To me, this program organized
by our Lake Worth District 14
Community Policing Unit signifies
the best of what the Sheriffs Office
does in our community. We want
to prevent the terrible troubles that
bullying creates so we are addressing
the root causes of it early on just
as children start developing into
teenagers.

BY T E D D E U T C H
Consumers
a l r e a d y
face
huge
challenges
when it comes
to
taking
on
special
interests
in
court.
Yet under a federal law enacted
in 2005, the Protection of Lawful
Commerce in Arms Act, holding
gun manufacturers and sellers
accountable for negligent behavior
or defective products is nearly
impossible. This law was designed
to give the gun industry legal
immunities enjoyed by no other
industry
in
America,
from
tobacco companies to automobile
manufacturers to the pharmaceutical
industry.
This law doesnt just undermine
the right of lawful gun owners and
gun violence victims to have their
day in court, it also weakens public
safety. Before the laws passage in
2005, lawsuits filed against the gun
industry helped spur manufacturers
and dealers to adopt new safety
measures and improve their business
practices.
For example, in 2000 the gun
manufacturer Smith & Wesson
agreed to improve the safety
devices on its handguns as part of a
settlement ending several lawsuits
brought against the manufacturer
for faulty mechanisms. And in 2004,
Bushmaster agreed to better its
distribution practices after a $2.5

million settlement held it liable for


knowingly supplying a negligent gun
shop with the assault weapons used
by the DC sniper to kill 17 Americans
in 2002.
The gun industry has claimed
it needs the Protection of Lawful
Commerce in Arms Act to stop
frivolous lawsuits from moving
forward. But there is nothing
frivolous about the claims brought
by families of slain police officers,
of children killed in accidental
shootings, or of people murdered in
mass shootings.
Congress overstepped its authority
with this law when it stripped judges
of the discretion to decide which
cases are credible and which are
frivolous. In fact, since the laws
passage in 2005, it has kept all but
two challenges to the gun industry
from advancing in court. Its time for
this special gift to the powerful gun
lobby to go, and thats why this week
I co-introduced legislation to repeal
it. At a time when the United States
loses 32,000 lives to gun violence
every year, the Equal Access to Justice
for Victims of Gun Violence Act
restores the right of Americans to
have their day in court.
As a member of the House
Judiciary Committee, I firmly believe
that no one person, company, or
industry deserves to operate above
the law. Its time we level the playing
field for victims of gun violence and
reestablish our court system as a
powerful platform for consumers to
hold powerful interests accountable.

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MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B23

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PAGE B24 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B25

CONGREGATION

ANSHEI SHOLOM
Mens Club
PRESENTS

The
Century Village Orchestra will
perform their Annual Concert
on Thursday, March 17.

Shabbat Dinner

& Shabbat Across America


Friday, March 4, 2016

Services at 5:00pm Followed by Dinner


Come and enjoy a traditional Shabbat Dinner with all the beauty
of welcoming the Sabbath in prayer, singing, and delicious food.

The concert will start at 8 P.M. Tickets are on sale at


the ticket office for $5.00. We will perform selections
from the Sound of Music and My Fair Lady as well as
Italian and Irish selections in honor of St. Patrick's Day
and a collection of uplifting well-known classical and
contemporary selections.

MENU
Mixed Green Salad Soup
Lemon Chicken or Roasted Salmon
Roasted Red Rosemary Potatoes
Medley of Mixed Vegetables
Assorted Cakes & Fruit Coffee & Tea

This year's concert will feature vocalists


and solo performers.

For special dietary needs, please call Marion Beck 561-684-5944


Donation $25.00 per person for Members of Congregation Anshei Sholom
Non-members $30.00
Please make your reservations early so we can properly prepare.

Please join us for an enjoyable evening of music.

--------------------- Cut here -----------Bring to synagogue----------------------

Thank You,
Rickie Bernstein
Orchestra Manager

Reservation for Mens Club Shabbat March 4, 2016, 5:00pm. Choose chicken or salmon

Name:__________________________________ Number of People__________


Phone #_______________________________ Amount____________________

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PAGE B26 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

Take Two and Hit To Right

Sports of The
CenturyVillage

Around the Bases


with

Irwin Cohen

Sam Milham
Last months question:
What is the meaning of Take Two
And Hit To Right?

Answer: Its what a coach or a


father tells a small-built youngster
who is being pitched to by a slightly
older, bigger-built pitcher who
throws hard. I was told these exact
words as a youngster. The reason for
hitting to right was because (1) in
general the worst fielder on the team
was assigned to right field, and (2)
a little fellow, usually right-handed,
would have difficulty pulling the
ball to left.
Football:
As I predicted, Denver won Super
Bowl 50. It was won by Denvers
defense. While I am happy for Peyton
Manning, he did not have a Peytontype game. In fact, his performance
in his last three games, all wins,
should convince him to retire and
go out a winner. His fastball is gone
and he cannot throw the bomb to
keep the defense honest any longer.
He is now two and two in Super Bowl
appearances and is a sure first-ballot
Hall of Famer.
The old baseball rule Good
pitching beats good hitting
certainly applied to football here.
Denvers defense, led by Demarcus
Ware and Von Miller, the games
MVP, helped produce four Panther
turnovers while holding Cam
Newton to one of his worst days of
the season. He completed only 18 of
41 passes, had one interception, and
had a quarterback rating (QBR) of
16.9, probably the worst of his short
career. Peyton had only a 56.6 QBR;
the league average is 86.9. Peytons

career QBR is 97.2, while Cams is


88.2.
The pundits who figured the
Panthers would run away with this
game have plenty of egg on their
face. The Panthers had a great year
and Cam Newton was the leagues
MVP, but the pundits forgot about
one thing: the pressure of the Super
Bowl. During the two weeks between
the league championship game and
the Super Bowl, the scrutiny by TV,
radio, and the print media is intense.
On the Wednesday before SB #50,
Cam Mr. Cool and league MVP
lost his composure and told the press
to stop repeating the same questions.
Media pressure, in my opinion, got
to the Panthers, with the result that
Denver, a 5 point underdog with
many veterans on its team, won the
game.
The game proved two things:
Peyton may be finished, and if so, the
game loses a great player; and Cam
and his Carolina team have been
brought down to earth. Lets hope
the Panthers learn that the game
is played to determine which is the
best team, not what the press andw
experts say. Those of you who listen
to me on Monday nights at 5 p.m.
may remember I warned about the
impact of media pressure. By the way,
thanks for listening and keep doing
so.

Question Of The Month:


Who was the losing coach in Super
Bowl I?
Till then, take two and hit to right!
See Sams article about the new West
Palm Beach stadium in this issue.

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I started following baseball as a


young youngster in Detroit in 1950.
In the fourth grade in the yeshiva at
the time, I was close to the bottom of
the class, but in baseball knowledge I
was at the top.
I had a big advantage over
my classmates in the baseball
department. My father drove Hymie
the newsstand guy home every Friday
from his outdoor downtown stand.
In return for his earlier arrival home,
Hymie would give my father a copy
of the Sporting News (at the time the
weekly Jewish Press size publication
was called "Baseball's Bible").
I devoured the articles and
memorized the players' faces. One
of the players who got a lot of ink in
1950 was Cleveland Indians' third
baseman Al Rosen, who would lead
the American League in home runs.
My father informed me that Rosen
was Jewish and I targeted him as one
of the players that I would follow
closely.
Let's take a look back at Rosen's
career. Raised in Miami, he began his
professional baseball career in 1942.
He opted for military service in the
Navy and saw action in the South
Pacific and Okinawa.
Discharged in 1945, he played
a couple of seasons in Cleveland's
minor league system. After posting
a .327 batting average in the minors
in 1948, the Indians brought him up
and he had five big league at-bats and
one more in the World Series against
the Boston Braves.
As time wore on, new television
programs went on the air in America.
The Milton Berle Show, Perry Como's
Chesterfield Supper Club, Arthur
Godfrey's Talent Scouts and Ed
Sullivan's Toast of the Town.
After some more minor league

seasoning, Rosen made the big


leagues to stay in 1950, and the
27-year-old hit a respectable .287
and his 37 homers led the league. He
slumped a bit in 1951 as his average
dipped to .265 and the number of
home runs declined to 24. But he
compiled 102 RBIs and he supplied
more offense than any other third
baseman in the league.
The following year Rosen's 105
runs batted in led the league and his
.302 batting average and 28 home
runs were among the leaders and
fans were following him closely the
following season.
In 1953 Rosen was aiming for
the league lead in three categories-home runs, runs batted in (RBI) and
batting average--the Triple Crown.
Rosen's 45 home runs and 145 RBIs
led the league and he was virtually
tied for batting average with Mickey
Vernon of the Washington Senators
going into the last game of the
season.
Rosen missed out on the batting
title by the narrow margin of only
one percentage point as he grounded
out in his last at-bat. Washington's
game ended with Vernon due up, but
a teammate was conveniently picked
off first base with two out, saving
Vernon from batting and possibly
losing the title to Rosen.
While Rosen's .336 batting average
fell one point short of Vernon's,
Rosen was the unanimous choice
by voters for the American League's
Most Valuable Player Award.
Rosen had a memorable All-Star
Game in 1954 before the home crowd
in Cleveland as he blasted two home
runs and drove in five runs for the
American League as they defeated
the National League 11-9. He finished
the season with a .300 average, 24

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MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B27

homers and 102 RBI. However, a


nagging injury hampered Rosen's
batting ability most of the season
adding to the pressure of mastering a
new position as he was asked to play
first base.
More injuries limited his 1955
statistics to a .244 average and 21
home runs. On June 24, 1956, Rosen
had his 1000th career hit. Injuries
kept him out of 33 games that year
and when the season ended his
average stood at .267 with 15 home
runs.
Only 32 at the time, Rosen's 10
years with Cleveland ended with
a lifetime batting average of .285
and 192 home runs. He could have
played in 1957 and beyond if he had
accepted a trade to Boston worked
out by Indians general manager
Hank Greenberg, Rosen's boyhood
idol.
Rosen opted to retire as his wife
was having health issues, and he was
happy in Cleveland where he had a
good position with the investment
firm of Bache and Company. Rosen
was a hero to Jewish fans, as he didn't
play on the High Holidays and never
allowed an anti-Semitic taunt by an
opposing player to go unanswered
with his boxing skills.
Rosen worked as a stockbroker in
Cleveland for 17 years before serving
as a vice-president of a top Las
Vegas hotel, before getting back into
baseball as president of the Yankees.

After only 13 years in the position,


Rosen resigned without offering an
official explanation. He thanked
Yankees' meddling owner George
Steinbrenner for getting him back
into the game and summed it all up
by saying, "I've always told George: I
love you as a friend. I just can't work
for you."
Not unemployed for long, Rosen
was hired as a supervisor of credit
operations for an Atlantic City casino
before being named as president and
general manager of the Houston
Astros. After leaving that position at
the end of the 1985 season, Rosen's
friend Robert Lurie, who owned
the San Francisco Giants, bestowed
upon him the same title he had in
Houston. Lurie sold the club in 1992
and Rosen resigned reasoning that
the new ownership should pick their
own management team. Rosen, 68
at the time, slid away from the game
gracefully and into retirement with
his wife in the San Francisco area.
He died at 91 in Eisenhower
Medical Center in Rancho Mirage of
what was called natural causes.
Author, columnist, public speaker
Irwin Cohen headed a national baseball
publication for five years before working
for a major league team and earning a
World Series ring. He may be reached in
his dugout at irdav@sbcglobal.net.

CENTURY VILLAGE WPB

TENNIS/PICKLEBALL CLUB
PICKLEBALL DOUBLES TOURNAMENT
WHEN:

WEDNEDSAY, MARCH 2, 2016 (weather permitting)

TIME:



REGISTRATION FROM 8:00 8:30 a.m.


Under canopy.
(No registration after 8:30 a.m. no exceptions).
Only 24 players accepted to compete
first come, first served.

REGISTERED PLAYERS WILL CLASSIFY


THEMSELVES BY PLACING THEIR NAMES IN THE
PROVIDED BEGINNERS OR ADVANCED HAT.
TOURNAMENT GAMES WILL RUN FROM:
8:30 12:00 noon

REQUIRED: PICKLEBALL MEMBERSHIP CARD



(bring it with you!).
RULES:

USAPA RULES WILL OVERRIDE


ALL OTHER GAME RULES.

TOURNAMENT GAMES WILL BE PLAYED IN A


ROUND ROBIN FORMAT BY DOUBLE ELIMATION

ALL QUESTIONABLE RULES WILL BE CLARIFIED


BY DAVID ADVOCAT.

GAMES WILL BEGIN WITH A COIN TOSS FOR THE


OPTION TO SERVE OR DEFER SERVING.

COURT SIDES WILL BE CHOSEN BY


COIN TOSS LOSERS.

THERE WILL ONLY BE A REFEREE


FOR THE FINALS.

LETS PLAY. HAVE FUN. ENJOY THE GAMES!

R E C R E A T I O N

Tennis &
Pickleball

Sailing
Club

by Arlynn Abramson

By Christine Mohanty

The Tennis and Pickleball Club had


their Annual Meeting on January
20th and there was a huge turnout.
Elections were held and the new
Officers for 2016-17 are Les RivkinPresident, David Advocat and Alain
Methot- Vice Presidents, TreasurerAlan Cutler, Secretary- Arlynn
Abramson and Board RepresentativeRhoda Nadell.
There are SO many exciting
upcoming events planned for all our
players. On February 10th, we had
our first Mixed Doubles tournament.
Players signed up before the date and
then were assigned partners that
morning. A good time was had by all!
There will also be a Single Womens
and Mens Tournament posted on
the board soon at Somerset pool.
On March 2nd, we will have this
years first Pickleball Mixed Doubles
tournament, divided into Beginners
and Advanced players. Registration
will be from 8:00 a.m. through 8:30
a.m. that morning. Twenty-four
players will play and it will run until
noon. Make sure to arrive early to
register. It will be in a round robin
format by double elimination.
Congratulations go to our Mens
Traveling Tennis Team who played at
the Ibis Club on February 4th under
the leadership of Co-Captains Alan
Cutler and Jacques Lageux.

Unfortunately for our sailors, the


winds have been blowing our sails a
bit too mightily this past month, and
while some races were held despite
adverse atypical weather conditions,
others will have to be postponed to
later in the season. Yes, our sailors are
tough, but gusts of up to 55 mph are
not part of their normal experience.
We applaud your tenacity in the face
of rain, wind, but thankfully not
snow.
On the social scene: our wellattended installation breakfast, held
Sunday, January 17th was a huge
success as always. Our slate for 2016
is as follows: Commodore Kathy
Forness; Vice-Commodore Nick
Goeb; Rear Commodore Bernie
Abbott;
Purser Howard OBrien; and
last but not least long-time scribe
Helga Lieb-ONeill. We wish our
officers the very best throughout the
year and thank them in advance for
their hard work. Theo Martzoukos
and Ron Helms had everyone howling
with another of their brilliant skits.
Cheerleaders, under the direction of
Gail Fei, contributed songs related
to sailing and then led the entire
assemblage in a sing-along.
The results for the winter series
sailing season have just come in. For
the Tuesday championship races: 1st
place Jan Roszko, 2nd Marc Benson,
3rd Ron Helms, 4th Dave Forness,
5th Alan Twohig, 6th Nick Goeb. Jan
Roszko also came in first for Friday's
navigational races. Congrats, Jan! As
it happens, we had a three-way tie for
second place because each competitor
garnered the same amount of points
throughout the series: Kathy Forness,
Ron Helms, and Marc Benson.
Applause to all our great sailors!
The spring championship races are
already underway as of February 9
and the navigational February 12.
We met for luncheon at the Golden
Corral on Wednesday, February 17th
. Then on Sunday, March 6th at 7PM,
Ryan and the Rockers will once again
regale us with their oldies music.
Tickets are $10 (sans dinner) and are
going fast, so grab them up ASAP.
Pot lucks are always the first Tuesday
of the month with set-up at the
Clubhouse pool at 5:15PM. Meetings
are the second Friday of the month
in Room C of the Clubhouse. In the
meantime, join our jolly group and
perhaps even come down to the dock
for lessons and ultimate certification
so you can SAIL AWAY!

Shuffleboard
by Ed Wright
By the time you read this the
shuffleboard season will be almost
over. The second season ended
on February 11th. I will list the
tournament winners in the next
issue. We had our annual breakfast
at The Golden Corral. That always is
a good time.
Our awards banquet will be in
March also at the Golden Corral.
That date has not been set at the time
of this article. We will have it before
anyone heads back up north. We now
have 49 members, 10 of whom are
first timers.
Everyone is welcome to play with
us. We play singles on Tuesdays,
doubles on Wednesdays, and my
favorite, bowling pin on Thursdays. If
you would like to join us come to the
courts by 1:15 P. M. so we can start
playing by 1:30. We have players of
all different abilities. The equipment
is provided. It is always good to get
outside, get a little exercise, and meet
new people. If you have any questions
give me a call at 561 632 5268.

PAGE B28 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

R V

will pay THE BEST PRICES for your antiques:


Costume Jewelry Real Jewelry Sterling Figurines
Colored Glass Paintings Perfume Bottles Mens Old Watches
Old Evening Purses Prints Sconces Pairs of Lamps

Call 561-865-2009

Professional Service Nails Waxing Facials


Mon.Fri. 9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. / Sat. 9 a.m. to 6 p.m.

Phone 561-684-0061

Walk-Ins Welcome Gift Certificates Available


7750 Okeechobee Blvd. #14, West Palm Beach, FL 33411
(1/2 mile west of Jog Road)

A Good Handyman

Reliable, Dependable and Affordable


No Job Too big or Small!

Home Repairs Quality Work Reasonable Rates Prompt Service

Call for FREE Estimates

CL 131 02908325

Steve 561-722-6087

WATER FLOOD
HEATERS CLEANUP
INSTALLED $65900
Permit Fee Additional $89.00

The Construction Guys, Inc.

561-351-5003
License # CFC1429170

CRAIG THE HANDYMAN


Dont Sweat It, You Wont Regret It
Just Sit Back, Relax & Make The Call
Honest, Reliable &
Dependable Service Guaranteed

561-333-8961

INSURED

FREE ESTIMATES

South Shore Locksmith


Serving Palm Beach Since 1975

Save Money $$$

REKEY YOUR
LOCKS
COMMERCIAL & RESIDENTIAL

Locks Installed & Serviced


Family Owned & Operated

CALL US NOW!

561-531-2619
www.southshorelocksmiths.com
We Are Not a Telephone Service Handing Out Work to Subs!

Call Peter

561-351-5003
License #1429170

HANDY MAN THINGS, INC.

www.FYZICALpbc.com

Physical Therapy Fitness & Wellness Hand Therapy


MarkRehab
B. Grumet
DMD
Balance Programs Sports
Workers
Comp
Family & Cosmetic Dentistry

HMT WINDOWS & DOORS

Door Repairs
Door Replacement
Window Screens
Porch Enclosures
Window Repair
Window Replacement

Hurricane Shutters
Accordion Shutters
Window Glass
Porch Rescreening
Kitchen and Bath Countertops
Sliding Glass Door Repair & Wheels

2885-H N. Military Trail


West Palm Beach, FL 33409

(561) 683-0903

www.westpalmbeachsmiles.com
Quality Care For Patients Of All Ages

Hours by Appointment

Electrical problems are NO PROBLEM


when you call

30 Years in Construction / Licensed / Bonded / Insured

Joe Carriker (561) 840-6345


License Nos. U-20681; U-20702

Check Electrical Panel Check An Outlet in Each Room


Residential Rewiring FREE CONSULTATION
CV Resident Lic: ER13014134

561-628-4708

LOST AND FOUND

Please check with the Clubhouse Staff


Office to see if your lost items were found
For items lost at Hastings, check with security

We have all types of lost items


Keys Clothing Jewelry
Glasses Sunglasses
Pool towels Etc.
Found items will be held for 6 months then
donated to a local charity

Appliances Electrical Contractor Air Conditioning/Portable & Window


Full Services Remodels Electrical Design Installation and Service
Indoor Light Fixture Installation Landscape Lighting Recess Lighting
Security Lighting Additional Outlets and Switches Pool Equipment Wiring
Outdoor Lighting & Surge Suppression Electrical Panel Upgrades
Ceiling Fan Installations

Serving Palm Beach County


Since 2001
Resident for Over 30 Years

561-575-2653

www.gothamhandywork.com

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B29

P O L I T I C A L
Dorothy Jacks,
CFE, AAS
Chief Deputy
Property Appraiser

Dear Taxpayer:
P r o p e r t y
A ppr a i s e r
Gary
Nikolits
inaugurated
the
Property
A ppr a i s er s
c o l l e g e
scholarship
Dorothy Jacks
program in 1993,
with the first awards presented in
1994. We give five $1,000 scholarships
every year. Through 2015, we have
awarded $120,000 to college-bound
high school seniors.
We are especially proud that
voluntary employee donations to our
Friday Casual Dress Day fund the
scholarships.
The March 31, 2016, deadline is
approaching. The 2016 application
is available on our website, pbcgov.
com/PAPA. Students may also pick
up an application from their high
school guidance counselors. To
be eligible, the student must be a
resident of Palm Beach County and
have a minimum 3.0 GPA.
The applicant must be graduating
from a public, private, or homeschool
within Palm Beach County and
entering college as a full-time
student. The college or junior
college they plan to attend must be
accredited.
An Employee Committee selects
the five recipients from a field of
applicants. In 2015, 142 high school
seniors submitted applications. It is
not easy to winnow those down to
five.
If you know of a college-bound
student from Palm Beach County in
need of financial help, please refer to
our website, pbcgov.com/PAPA, for a
scholarship application. Call (561)
355-3230 for more information.

Sharon R. Bock

Esq. Clerk & Comptroller,


Palm Beach County
March
1319
marks
"Sunshine
Week",
a
n a t i o n a l
initiative
established
to
promote
a
dialogue
about
the
Sharon Bock
importance of
open government and freedom of
information. Sunshine Week seeks
to enlighten and empower citizens to
play an active role in their government
at all levels by giving them access
to information that makes their
lives better and their communities
stronger.
As your independently elected
Clerk & Comptroller, my office
holds and safeguards the majority
of records that impact your life.
Whether it is a marriage license,
property deed, or traffic ticket it is

our job to protect the integrity of


these documents so commerce and
your life run smoothly. It is also our
responsibility to provide citizens
with efficient and effective access to
these public records.
In this capacity, I am continuously
seeking new ways to make
information accessible to the public.
By leveraging new technology,
my office has made it possible for
citizens to access public records
including information on court cases
and minutes for Palm Beach County
Board of County Commissioners
meetings via our website www.
mypalmbeachclerk.com. Currently,
my office is in the process of moving
hundreds of thousands of civil cases
to a state-of-the-art case web-based
system. This project is the next step
towards making civil and criminal
court document images accessible
online to the public by mid-2016.
This new system paves the way for
free public online access to court
document images.
The right to access information
serves as one of the most vital
cornerstones of our democracy and
is fundamentally important to the
citizens of the state of Florida. In
addition to a comprehensive set of
laws guaranteeing access, Florida is
one of only a few states to provide
a constitutional right of access to
government meetings and records.
This constitutional right means that
elected and government officials
have a responsibility to provide you
with the ability to view and retrieve
public information. As citizens we all
have a duty to demand it.
Sunshine
Week
ensures
accountability and promotes a
dialogue about the importance of
open government and freedom of
information. To learn more about
the services provided by your Clerk
& Comptroller and ways to access
public records please visit www.
mypalmbeachclerk.com.
The
Florida
Constitution
established the independent office of
the Clerk & Comptroller as a public
trustee responsible for safeguarding
public records and public funds.
Clerk Sharon Bock is directly elected
by and accountable to Palm Beach
County residents. She serves as
your Clerk of the Circuit Court,
County Recorder, Clerk of the Board
of County Commissioners, Chief
Financial Officer, Treasurer and
Auditor for Palm Beach County.

Anne M. Gannon

Palm Beach County


Constitutional Tax Collector

Anne Gannon

Spring is here
and
brings
daylight savings,
spring
break,
and our annual
Report to Our
Citizens
for
Fiscal Year 2015.
We
expect
this month to be
very busy in all

our offices. That means longer lines


and wait times. Thats a great reason
to find out if you can use our online
services. If you need to renew a vehicle
registration, pay property taxes or
business tax, you can do it online.
You can also schedule your drivers
license appointment and check wait
times.

Annual Report
Our annual report, A Report to
Our Citizens for Fiscal Year 2015, is
the perfect opportunity for residents
of Palm Beach County to learn
more about our agency. This years
Report includes information on
agency collections, tax distributions,
operational
progress,
agency
achievements, and future plans. We
also report on the top 10 largest tax
bills in the county. If youd like a copy
please contact us at ClientAdvocate@
taxcollectorpbc.com today.

Get the Facts


Congress passed the REAL ID
Act in response to the 9/11 terrorist
attacks. The goal of REAL ID is to
improve the integrity and security
of state-issued driver licenses and ID
cards.
There has been some confusion
about REAL ID deadlines, what
states are compliant, how long
a driver license can be used for
domestic travel, and whos affected.
Florida is a Real ID compliant state.
A Florida REAL ID driver license/
identification card is an accepted
form of identification for domestic
air travel. If you are a Florida driver
and have not obtained your REAL
ID license, you have until October
1, 2020. A Florida REAL ID drivers
license has a star in the upper right
corner. A valid U.S passport is also a
REAL ID compliant document that
can be used for domestic travel.
Note: A new REAL ID driver
license/ID card cannot be obtained
online.

Property Tax Deadline


March 31 is the last day to pay
your current property taxes. Unpaid
2015 Property Taxes are delinquent
on April 1. Pay your property taxes
online to save time and money. Epay
is fast, secure, and convenient.
Catch a break on your 2016
Property Taxes. We offer a quarterly
Installment Payment Plan which
divides your taxes into four
payments. Installment Payment
Plan participants receive a discount
of slightly under 4%. It is simple to
enroll in the plan. Visit our website
at
www.pbctax.com/installmentpayment-plan. Applications must be
received by 5 p.m. April 30.

Spring Break
Its March and that means Spring
Break is near. Palm Beach County
schools are closed March 18-25.
Many students visit our service
centers during their break for their

first drivers license. Nearly half of


the first-time drivers fail their written
test. In response to those numbers,
our agency developed a study
buddy a free In the Drivers Seat
app. In the Drivers Seat provides
study materials, driving laws, safety
tips and much more. Encourage the
teens in your life to download In the
Drivers Seat app today.

Distracted Driving
Legislation
Everyone knows that texting while
driving distracts drivers and causes
accidents. Knowledge of that fact
seems to do little to end the behavior.
Since 2013 Florida law has classified
texting while driving as a secondary
offense. This means a driver cannot
be pulled over for texting while
driving. They must be speeding or
driving recklessly.
The Florida Legislature has an
opportunity to make us safer on
the roads. They are considering a
bill that would make texting while
driving a primary offense. The bill
doesnt stop at texting; it includes
reading or sending a text, email or
instant message while driving. Lets
not wait for legislation. Join us and
pledge to put the phone away and say
no to distracted driving temptations.

Dave Aronberg
State Attorney

The job of State Attorney is to do


justice, not necessarily convict. But
conviction rates are still a way to
judge a State Attorneys Office. That
is, how successful is an office in
prosecuting criminal defendants?
Back in 2011, the State Attorneys
Office had a 52% conviction rate for
misdemeanor crimes. Today, the
conviction rate is 85%. In 2011, the
State Attorneys Office had an 77%
conviction rate for felonies. Today, the
conviction rate is 92%. In 2011, the
Palm Beach County State Attorneys
Office was ranked 20th out of 20
circuits dead last in convicting
criminal defendants. Today, our
ranking has jumped up to 8th. At the
same time, our direct file numbers
-- i.e., the number of juveniles sent to
adult court -- continue to decrease
for nonviolent juvenile offenders.
Heres more good news: Back in
2011 it took an average of 123 days
for a case to reach final disposition.
Today, that number has dropped to
88 days. Understanding that "justice
delayed is justice denied," our team is
operating more efficiently and with
much better outcomes than in years
past!
We are continually working to
do justice for our community and
to make Palm Beach County the
safest it can possibly be. Our office
is independent of any state or federal
official, which means that our only
boss is YOU, the Palm Beach County
resident. We are always interested in
your opinions, as we reflect the values
of our community. Your priorities are
our priorities.

PAGE B30 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

EXCURSION TRIPS
Wednesday, Mar 2........Palm Beach Garden Mall
Wednesday, Mar 9........Flea Market
Wednesday, Mar 16.......Lake Worth Beach
alternate will be Wellington Mall
Saturday, Mar 26...........Green Market & City Place
Wednesday, Mar 30......Boca Town Center
Excursions depart Clubhouse at 10:00 a.m.
and return about 3:00 p.m.

Mon., Tues., Wed.


Mon., Tues., Wed.
Thursday only
Friday only

No Friday 10:41 or 2:41

ALL INTERNAL BUSES WILL AWAIT


THE RETURN OF ALL
EXTERNAL BUSES

You will be told the time to come back


to the bus by the driver and also when
you sign in before leaving. If you are
not returning with our bus please notify driver. THANK YOU!

Saturdays and Sundays and holidays

ALL RIDERS MUST SHOW THEIR


CENTURY VILLAGE I.D.

Internal Bus Schedule


Mon, Wed

Seniors vs. Crime


1:00 p.m. to 4 p.m.
UCO Mon Wed & Fri all Day

Friday

Seniors vs. Crime


9:00 a.m. to Noon

Love

MARCH 2016 | UCO REPORTER | PAGE B31

I quickly open the refrigerator


door to find a jumble of leftovers,
staple items, an avocado and
asparagus. I grab a pot, heat up
a grill pan, and put my Grilled
Spring Asparagus with Avocado
Hollandaise into action. This
side dish can cook in 15 minutes
(or less, if you crank up the heat),
perfect for unexpected dinner
guests.
I believe a side dish should
B Y Z O E F R I E D M A N showcase a particular ingredient
in season or in fashion. In the
spring, asparagus is one of the
The phone rings. My mom answers the phone,
laughs, says, see you soon! and then hangs up. most abundant vegetables you can buy. While
She looks at me, her fingers running through her good on their own, asparagus need something to
hair in a frantic sort of way.
dress them up before dinner guests. My solution:
Zo, we have people arriving for dinner in a creamy and fresh avocado hollandaise sauce. A
approximately 30 minutes.
traditional hollandaise sauce is an emulsion of

FOOD IS

Healthy Eggs Benedict with Avocado


Hollandaise
1 tablespoon distilled white wine
vinegar
1 slice of fresh challah (or whole
wheat bread), cut 1/4 inch thick
1 large egg, at room temperature
1 tablespoon clover honey
1/4 vine ripe tomato, sliced in
rounds
1 teaspoon freshly ground black
pepper

exactly. Using a slotted spoon,


carefully remove the egg from the
water and onto a paper towel to drain
excess water.
Toast the challah until crispy
and golden brown. Spread an even
layer of honey and tomatoes on the
bread. Sprinkle with capers. Top with
poached egg and pepper, making
sure to distribute the pepper evenly.
Drizzle with avocado hollandaise
sauce and enjoy! Serves 1 person.

2 teaspoons capers, drained


3 tablespoons leftover avocado
hollandaise sauce
Bring a pot of water to a boil.
Immediately reduce to a simmer and
add vinegar. In a small bowl, crack
the egg, ensuring that the yolk does
not break. Check for shell pieces.
Stir the pot of water clockwise
until a whirlpool appears; gently add
the egg. Poach the egg for 3 minutes

Prep time: 15 minutes


Cook time: 3 minutes
Total time: 18 minutes
This is the perfect breakfast to
whip up on a Saturday morning
and use last nights leftover avocado
hollandaise sauce. This version of
eggs benedict provides the perfect
dose of protein, energy, and flavor to
start your day right!

egg yolks and butter. That is not my idea of light.


With avocados, which are being touted as reducing
cholesterol, you can feel good applying hollandaise
sauce liberally to your asparagus (or anything else
on the table).
Since entres are typically complex with
layers of flavor, a side dish should be simple
and complimentary. Try pairing Grilled Spring
Asparagus with pasta, a flaky white fish, chicken
breast, red meat, or even red wine.
My Grilled Spring Asparagus with Avocado
Hollandaise seemed to emanate a light in my
dining room that Friday night, and my guests
continually made excuses to stay longer. Saturday
morning, however, a small container of leftover
avocado hollandaise sauce stared at me from the
top shelf of the refrigerator. I sought to create
a contemporary version of a well-loved dish:
eggs benedict. The dish also transforms leftover
Challah bread from the previous night.

Grilled Spring Asparagus with Avocado


Hollandaise sauce
1/2 pound green asparagus, trimmed
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 ripe Hass avocado
1/2 cup non-fat milk
3 tablespoons hot water
1 tablespoon lemon juice
1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
Fill a large metal or glass bowl
with cold water and ice. Set aside.
Bring a pot of water to a boil.
Boil the asparagus for 2 minutes or
until bright green in color. Transfer
asparagus to the bowl with ice. This
stops the asparagus from cooking
and preserves the bright green color.
Heat a grill or grill pan and brush
with canola oil. Grill asparagus for
3 minutes on each side or until grill
marks appear. Sprinkle asparagus

with 1/4 teaspoon each of salt and


pepper. Remove asparagus from pan
and onto serving platter.
For the avocado hollandaise: In a
blender, puree avocado, milk, water,
lemon juice, garlic powder, and
remaining salt and pepper.
Drizzle the hollandaise sauce over
the asparagus. Serves 2 people.
Prep time: 7 minutes
Cook time: 8 minutes
Total time: 15 minutes
This is a quick and impressive sidedish to showcase asparagus during
the spring season. A flavorful and
creamy avocado hollandaise sauce
replaces a traditional (and heavy)
butter and egg yolk hollandaise.
*Note: If you dont have a grill or
grill pan, drizzle the asparagus with a
tablespoon of olive oil and broil in the oven
for 7 minutes at 350 degrees F.

Qui sont ces snowbirds qui parlent franais?


PAR M ARC BAR R I R E
Quand je mentionne
des
concitoyens du Century Village
que je viens du Qubec, d'aucuns
me rpondent Ah! Je suis all
Montral en 1967, j'ai aussi visit
Qubec. J'ai de bons souvenirs!
Pourtant, beaucoup sont toujours
tonns de savoir qu'en Amrique
du Nord, il y a un coin de pays
o l'on parle franais. Et ils sont
doublement tonns quand on
leur apprend qu'on y parle franais
depuis aussi longtemps qu'on parle
anglais Boston et qu'on a dj parl
franais sur la moiti du territoire
amricain. Ce qui explique le nombre
de villes, de rivires, de montagnes et
d'Amricains qui portent des noms
franais.
Champlain a fond Port-Royal en
Acadie en 1604 et Qubec en 1608
peu prs en mme temps que les
Anglais fondaient Jamestown en

Virginie . C'tait 12 ans avant que les


Plerins du Mayflower dbarquent
Plymouth.
Par la suite les deux peuples
ont cohabit, ont chang, se sont
combattus, se sont entraids. La
France voulait faire du commerce
alors que les Anglais voulaient
s'tablir. Leurs relations avec les
Amrindiens ont donc t fort
diffrentes. Les uns comptaient sur
les Amrindiens pour la fourrure, les
autres devaient les repousser pour
cultiver.
Beaucoup d'Amricains sont
d'origine canadienne franaise alors
que beaucoup de Canadiens franais
ont des origines amricaines. Par
exemple l'anctre de mon pouse est
Sarah Allen qui avait t enleve en
1704 l'ge de 12 ans dans son village
de Deerfield au Massachusetts avec
une centaine de personnes. Sarah a
dcid de rester au Canada et a fond

une famille avec un Canadien, la


famille Lalonde. De mme, l'anctre
de ma mre, Katerine Stevens a
t enleve en 1690 Bath dans le
nord du Maine, pour tre amene
Qubec. Elle s'est marie quelques
annes plus tard avec un dnomm
Paquette. La vie tait dure et cruelle
cette poque. Il y a eu des actes de
terrorisme semblables de la part des
Anglais .
Comme les Canadiens-franais
taient allis avec les Amrindiens on
a fait appel eux pour explorer le
Far-West . Toussain Chabonneau
accompagn de sa femme Sacagawea
et de son fils Jean-Baptiste surnomm
Pomp tait le guide de la mythique
expdition de Lewis et Clark.
Montral
comporte
une
importante communaut juive.
Mon interlocuteur de tantt avait
visit Montral lors de l'Expo 67.

Il connaissait bien les chansons


du Montralais Leonard Cohen,
avait mang les excellents bagels
et le smoke meat de Montral qui
viennent des migrs juifs de la fin
du 19e sicle. Il ne savait peut tre pas
que beaucoup de schtreimel ports
par nos voisins hassidiques ont t
aussi fabriqus Montral.
L'histoire des Canadiens franais
et des Amricains est vraiment
entremle.
Quand vous iriez au DuBois park,
que vous entendrez Cline Dion ou
Arcade Fire, que vous verrez un film
de Philippe Falardeau (The good
Lie) ou de Denis Villeneuve (Sicario )
une vido d'Adle (Hello a t ralis
par Xavier Dolan) vous saurez qu'ils
sont du mme coin Amrique que ces
Snowbirds au drle d'accent.

PAGE B32 | UCO REPORTER | MARCH 2016

The Ten Commandments


of Grocery Store Shopping
(we wish everyone would follow)
BY JODY LEBEL
1) Thou shalt not leave your cart just
any-old-where in the parking lot.
There are two kinds of people
in this world: those who return
carts to the cart corral and those
who leave them right next to my
car door. How many times have
you started to pull into a primo
parking spot only to slam on your
brakes when you realize theres
a cart camping in the front of it?
News flash! Carts do not find their
own way home.
2) Thou shalt not bring in your
pet dog and pretend he/she is
a service dog. You can buy those
vests and ID cards off the Internet
but youre not fooling anybody.
Pookie should be at home playing
with doggie toys, and doing doggie
things, not nervously bouncing
around in the child seat of your
cart in his/her bonnie wee plaid
coat with the matching bow, and
dropping fur all over the produce.
3) Thou shalt walk down the store
aisles like a normal person.
Do not amble along, check your
phone messages, text your sweetie,
dig in your handbag for a mint,
and block the aisle for ten minutes
while you blank-stare at the
canned goods like your body has
been taken over by an alien. Youre
not at a museum. Its pasta sauce,
not the Mona Lisa. Pick one and
move on.

to move away from the registers,


do not stop and scrutinize it like
it couldnt possibly be yours, or
youre sure the cashier didnt ring
up the 50% off on the second
candy bar, or study it like theres a
secret code hidden in the numbers.
There is nothing on that scrap of
paper that is so important in your
life that you have to stop dead in
the middle of the doorway and
hold the rest of us up.

4) Thou shalt not sneak in 25


items in the express line.
The sign says 15 items or less. It is
not a suggestion. Twelve cans of
tomato soup is not one item. And
dont even think about trying to
split the order into two piles and
paying two separate times. Dont
you dare pull out a checkbook in
this lane, forget your PIN number,
or demand a rain check for a
two-for-one sale on low sodium
canned green beans. Think about
it; if everybody ignored the 15item rule they could just take
down the express sign and make it
a regular line.
5) Thou shalt not drop ice cream
off in the bread section.
If you change your mind,
take it back where you
found it. Its not like
you have to drive down
Military Trail avoiding
the jaywalkers from
the bus stops, traverse
past the sign twirlers
that jump out
at you on

Okeechobee Boulevard, and hop


on the Turnpike. Walk down four
aisles and place it back in the
freezer. Ditto for lunch meat and
milk. Come on now, people.
6) Thou shalt respect personal
space at the register. Regardless
of how close you creep up on my
backside, or how many items you
maneuver on the belt behind my
little black divider stick like you
were playing Tetris, you will never
get rung up before me. If you
continue to breathe on me, I will
pretend to go through my pockets
looking for my debit card for an
extraordinary amount of time and
will begin to ask the cashier about
her cats. Unless, of course, youd
like to pay for my case of cat food.
In that case, you are forgiven.
7) Thou shalt treat the cashier with
the utmost respect. This means
not talking loudly on your phone
while shes ringing up your items,
or getting upset and irritable and
argumentative when she wont
accept the
expired
coupons
y o u
rummaged
out of the
bottom
of
your
tattered
makeshift coupon
envelope and pressed
flat with your sweaty
hands. If you get caught
trying to sneak in an expired
coupon that you ripped the
expiration date off of, just let
it go. Its 25 cents off of paper
towels for Petes sake. Youll
survive.
8) Thou shalt not block the
exit to study the receipt. Once
given your receipt and you begin

9) Thou shalt not use the self


checkout if youre the type
of person who has trouble
figuring out parking meters.
Embrace your limits. Do bar codes
hide from you? Can you match
the picture of a grapefruit on the
screen to the grapefruit in your
hand? Do you know how to uncrinkle paper money so it doesnt
get spit back out at you? Do you
know where the coin slot is? Can
you place the items in the bagging
area and then leave them alone and
not move them around so that the
alarm sounds and the attendant
has to scurry over to you? If you
cannot do even one of these things,
pass the self-checkout lines and
wait in the normal register line.
No one will think less of you. In
fact, we may blow kisses and throw
confetti your way.
10)Thou shalt not follow someone
for their parking space.
I dont care if its the day before a
hurricane and the store is jammed
and there is only one loaf of bread
left on the shelf and you think it
has your name on it; do not follow
behind me like a stalker at 5 miles
per hour waiting for me to vacate
my parking spot. If I see you, and
how can I not, I will open my
trunk, get on my cell phone and
start chit-chatting with my bestie
about nothing, while putting my
groceries in one can at a time with
my one free hand. I may even hold
up, and let you gawk at, my four
loaves of bread and gigantic jar
of peanut butter. And if you honk
the horn? Ill finish up, lock the
trunk, pretend Im going to get in
the driver seat, then turn around
and begin to walk back into the
store until you leave. With that
said all of this is off if you get out
of your car and help me unload my
groceries and -- heres the kicker -take the cart off my hands.
Thank you for shopping with us.
Next time dont forget to bring
your own bags. And have a nice
day.