<Philosophers VS Robots, Round 1>

Francois O'Haly 4/25/2010
Let me fuck with your mind. Let me purge you of your limitations. Let us fly. You are God given form in order to operate on this plane. You are you. You are a personal wavelength of cosmic energy. This personal wavelength is your personality. You were born with this personality. You will carry this personality on after death. This is you. We are both one, we are both beings of cosmic energy. In this way we can understand each other through empathy. Through telepathy. No one is inherently bad or inherently evil. A person's personality only becomes corrupted. By limitation. Because of our limitation we operate out of ignorance. Out of fear. We are afraid of what we don't understand. It's just easiest to pretend it doesn't exist. It's just easiest to call spiritual philosophers wackos. That way they can be ignored. Life can continue.

Science will save us. There's something real. Like microwave ovens and Prozac. Frankenfoods. Maybe robots can save us. If we had robots everywhere nobody would have to work and then we could all be crazy welfare bums. Ya. Fuck ya. Where is all the metal to build this huge fleet of robots going to come from? And then there will be new robots released every 2 months. That will leave our robots outdated and we'll have to buy new ones. Whose going to recycle the toxic components from outdated robots? Not the Chinese. Probably Canadians and Americans. I guess we could build robots to recycle other robots. How are we going to afford robots anyway if we're all on welfare? Who cares. Robots are awesome! What if robots do become self aware? What if they don't like us? What if they treat us like we treat animals? What if they annihilate us? Maybe they'll be funny alcoholic sidekicks like Bender on Futurama. What if you arrived home to discover your robot had smoked all of your weed with a couple of his buddies who weren't supposed to come over to the house anymore? And they had your girlfriend serving them drinks topless. Hey aren't we already losing our women to B.O.B.S. Battery

Operated Boyfriends. Maybe you could program a robot to be the ultimate friend. It could always tell you you were Awesome. Almost like the perfect boyfriend. Are robots always going to sound like Stephen Hawking? You know the robot voice. That would annoy me. I don't really know what I'd use a robot for. I bought an Ipod touch and I haven't really figured out what I needed that for yet. Wasn't making mix tapes and actually writing in a notebook much more rewarding? I don't really mind having to walk over to the fridge. Robots would be great for seniors. You could have funny old senile seniors arguing with their robot in the grocery store about whether there's milk in the fridge at home or not. You could have some old codger going off about how his robot is trying to do him in because he thinks that he's taken his meds when he hasn't. I don't know if I really trust scientists. Don't we need philosophers to tell them what to do? How many scientists do we need examining a disease that doesn't exist before we say, hold on a minute here. Was letting loose genetically engineered seeds into the environment maybe a little unwise? Where was science when salmon stocks just collapsed last year? I knew farming salmon was a bad idea like 20 years ago when I heard about how much antibiotics they had to feed these diseased creatures just to get them to your dinner plate.

Something was bound to go wrong. Sea Lice? Picture Homer Simpson. Dunh. Scientists don't really make a habit of looking at the bigger picture which is why they are well, scientists. They just want labs, and grants, and cool microscopes and stuff. I know that the pairing of scientists and capitalists together is kind of the worst idea ever and is the reason why our planet is in really really bad shape. Scientists are not going to save us. Technology is not going to save us. Robots definitely are not going to save us. But philosophy might. Philosophers 1 – Robots 0