Ettner 1

Tyler Ettner
Zack De Piero
Writing 2
22 February, 2016
Where is My Mind?
Refuge to the man is the mind, refuge to the mind is mindfulness -Buddha
Do you find inspiration in quotes? Hard evidence more your sway? No matter the type of text,
looking at human issues such as mindfulness through different perspectives is a fundamental step
in the process of developing a more complete understanding of a topic through a broad range of
contexts. By identifying key concepts such as genre conventions, rhetorical moves, and basic
structure within different outlets for writing one can glean a better understanding of the
intricacies of these writing types. Further, this knowledge can be applied towards the evaluation
of topics being explored by writing in various contexts and allow a reader to craft a holistic
appreciation of an issue. This piece of writing is aimed towards supporting this argument through
a case study of the subject of mindfulness within three different writing contexts. Critical analysis
of this concept through the perspectives of formal psychology and medical research as well as a
casual online magazine article demonstrates the effectiveness of this notion.
Mental clarity and health are critical to our wellbeing, and the simple concept of mindfulness
is designed to help people to achieve just that. However, there a some who appear to strongly
disagree, such as the author of The Guardians article titled Is mindfulness making us ill? Dawn
Foster argues that this technique actually has the opposite effect and can wreak havoc on ones
mental health. The article at hand is aimed to employ a variety of personal anecdotes and case

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studies in order to support this claim. This intimate nature of these stories displays a critical
convention of the magazine article genre, which cater to a very large target audience. Foster
takes a casual tone from the start, explaining her own experience Out of curiosity, I try the
Headspace app, but the breathing exercises leave me with pins and needles in my face and a
burgeoning terror. establishing her ethos and helping relate to the reader. In addition, the
article references research studies but avoids discussing their findings in excessive detail or using
jargon of any kind. This is a decisive move made by Foster to keep the attention of her informal
audience and avoid oversaturating her article with extensive data or analytics. By building her
article around personal stories and solid scientific evidence to back up her claims, the author
successfully utilizes the concepts of ethos and logos. This can also be achieved in a more formal
setting, which we can observe through an article in the focused academic field of psychology.
The Journal of Counseling and Development recently published an extensive article on this
issue, which begins with a question to the reader, Are conclusions about mindfulness entirely
conclusive? This is an interesting move by the author, as focused research papers of this type
dont typically use this type of rhetorical convention to catch the attention of readers right off the
bat. The academic journal article continues to provide a basic abstract about the exigence and
methodology of the review before proceeding with a detailed analysis of practical techniques and
their implications for the field of psychology. Structurally, the article is broken up into a variety
of topics ranging from Operational Definitions and Instrumentation Concerns to The Other
Side of Mindfulness, all of which enable the author to chunk the research findings into specific
categories and go into each of them with greater depth. Another key component of the articles
structure involves the authors use strategic cause and effect transitions which serve to provide a

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sense of flow and rhythm to the text. The final big move made by the psychology researchers
involves a massive effort to establish why the claims mattered, a concept discussed in the writing
piece titled, They Say, I Say: The Moves That Matter in Academic Writing. The rhetor explicitly
claims that, In this fervent intellectual environment, being swept along without a true
commitment to critically analyzing the state of the literature can be easy. This article was meant
to encourage such reflection. After a review of the literature, there seems to be several areas in
need of further exploration and clarification (Hanley, et al. 111) near the end of the paper.
Despite their concession of inadequate research on the topic of mindfulness, researchers explain
that there is a need for more information and critical analysis of the available data is highly
encouraged. This is a common theme among articles pertaining to empirical research and its
analysis, as this information is meant to be of maximum benefit to those who apply it in their
respective fields, something which is especially important in the of medicine as well.
The University of British Columbias article, Mindfulness: What it is and How it is
Impacting Healthcare begins much in the same way as the psychology article, explicitly stating
the greater implications of the findings and giving a roadmap for the article overall in a
preliminary abstract. From there, the journal takes quite a unique approach by using an
uncommon font with different colors and sizes in an attempt to lighten the mood of the text and
help the reader connect to what they are reading. In a similar fashion to the psychology article,
the UBCMJ expresses the purpose and implications of their findings outright, Given the
potential for mindfulness to promote health and enrich the practice of medicine, its increased
utilization among patients, physicians, and the population at large is encouraged at the end of
the abstract. This move leads the reader to understanding the basic context for the piece as well

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as a general outline as to where it will go from there. By helping the target audience establish this
background knowledge, it allows them to see each distinct part of the journal review in the broad
context of the concept of mindfulness in a holistic way. Further, the journal uses rhetorical
questions and various techniques to legitimize their claims, such as the concession that, while a
number of compelling models have been proposed, our understanding of these mechanisms
remains rudimentary. This is a powerful use of a template as described by the text They Say I
Say which serves to speak to the ethos of the authors. By realizing that a great deal of
information involving human health is beyond our current understanding and expressing this
concession so succinctly, the UBC researchers further establish credibility and humility which
will encourage the audience to take their findings seriously.
The perspectives of different academic fields and media outlets can have a significant impact
on many rhetorical features used to distinguish their methods of expression. One can clearly
observe the basic structural differences such as the use of abstracts and distinct categories in
academic texts instead of the ambiguous nature of the magazine articles which sprinkle personal
anecdotes and evidence randomly throughout a work. The Guardians article on mindfulness
displays this chaotic style and structure, but still uses many of the conventions found in academic
articles pertaining to the establishment of ethos and strategic use of evidence based logos in
order to better connect to the target audience at hand. This is, in fact, the entire purpose of
reporting their ideas or findings in these pieces.
The practical applications of research analysis are integral to the expansion of human
knowledge and development in all fields of study. However, the visual representation of this

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content is an essential step in the process of its utilization. Take, for example, the UBCs Medical
Journal. While some texts in the medical field come across as dry and lack any sort of stylistic
elements to improve reader engagement, this text utilized a variety of fonts and colors as well as
rhetorical conventions such as leading questions and intelligent transitions in order to make the
reading more exciting. This surely has a powerful effect on its effectiveness as a knowledge base
for actual practitioners in the field who will be more likely to comprehend the findings and make
connections which could help them to implement mindfulness techniques in their patients lives.
Researchers in both of the academic articles examined took the practical application of their
findings quite seriously, as we can see by their explicit explanations of the So what, Who
Cares?
Once these authors identified their target audience and addressed the purpose and implications
of their ideas, the final step to writing effectively involved a bit of persuasion. As Laura Carroll
proposes in her work Steps Towards Rhetorical Analysis, It is important to understand what a
piece of rhetoric is asking of you, how it tries to persuade you, and whether that persuasion fits
within the context you encounter it in. The notion of persuasion is a fundamental part of all
three texts at hand, although they each go about it in slightly different ways in order to better
appeal to their specific audience. In her magazine article, Dawn Foster takes an approach that
could be considered sensationalist with her story about an individual who had a bad experience
with mindfulness practice. She claims that this woman was so traumatized that, She became
addicted to alcohol, when previously she was driven and high-performing, and believes
mindfulness was the catalyst for her breakdown continuing to explain the negative effects of
this event in great detail. While her evidence is purely anecdotal by nature, Fosters article still
achieves the persuasive effect that she desired, due to her target audience of casual readers
seeking to relate to others and learn from their experiences. While academic texts are typically
constrained to the use of empirical, quantitative data as an evidence base, pop culture outlets
such as magazines are free to use non-conventional evidence types such as personal stories and
anecdotes. This enables authors like Foster to engage their audience to a greater degree, but may
detract from the practical application of the ideas at hand. No matter the specific purpose and
execution of a rhetors work, application of literary analysis is a crucial step in crafting a holistic
understanding of an issue.

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Works Cited

Carrol, Laura. Steps Towards Rhetorical Analysis Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing,
Volume 1. Parlor Press, 2010. Print. 16 Feb. 2016.
Foster, Dawn. "Is Mindfulness Making Us Ill?" The Guardian. Guardian News and Media, 23
Jan. 2016. Web. 9 Feb. 2016.
Hanley, Adam W., Neil Abell, Debra S. Osborn, Alysia D. Roehrig, and Angela I. Canto. "Mind
the Gaps: Are Conclusions About Mindfulness Entirely Conclusive?" Journal of
Counseling & Development 94.1 (2016): 103-13. UCSB Library. Web. 9 Feb. 2016.
Raski, Matias P. "Mindfulness: What It Is and How It Is Impacting Healthcare." UBC
MedicalJournal 7.1 (2015): 56-59. UCSB Library. Web. 9 Feb. 2016.
So What, Who Cares? Writing Spaces: Readings on Writing, Volume 1. Parlor Press, 2010.
Print. 16 Feb. 2016.

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Did Not Meet

Expectations
Thesis Statement

Met
Expectations

Use of Textual Evidence

from Genres

Use of Course Readings

X+

Analysis

X+

Organization/Structure

X-

Attention to Moves

Attention to
Genre/Conventions and
Rhetorical Factors

X-

Sentence-level Clarity,
Mechanics, Flow

X+

Other Comments

Exceeded
Expectations

Ettner,
Strong work here, man. I appreciate the effort, and I
think that it paid off. Please read through my
comments on how to re-see certain
aspects of this for your portfolio revision.

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In addition to that, here are some other

thoughts:
-I want you to get much more specific into
the research and the claims of these pieces.
What specific data did they collect? Whatd
they find? Whats going to be done with
their work? I dont feel like I learned
anything new about mindfulness from a
psych or ~healthcare perspective -- help me
understand what theyre trying to teach us
about this issue. Get into the data. Get
into their RQs. What does it seem like each
perspective values with regard to
understanding this topic?
Id like you to have a more deliberate
argument at hand -- how can you tie all of
the pieces together? After reading all of
these pieces and thinking about them with
our course terms in mind (pun intended),
whats there to say Finding out what,
exactly, youre trying to convince me of
might also help you to think about what
kind of structure/organization would be
best suited to laying out that argument
from the start to the finish. You did a solid
job of describing, but I want you to move
past that and onto evaluating.
Again, though, I want to be clear: great
work here.
Z
9/10

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(PS: I do want you to be happy with this A,

but I dont want you thinking that this
doesnt need work. Everybodys paper does
-- were in the business of getting our
writing as good as it can possibly be.)