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OPTION A: PROTOTYPES

The concept of prototypes of love is discussed in our textbook. The assumption is that all of us, whether
formally or informally, have a list of what we are looking for in a mate. Make of list of the 15 most
important things you look for in a mate. Once you have completed the list, put a start next to the five
characteristics, traits or qualities that you believe are most important. Explain why you identified those
five as being the most important qualities in a mate.

There are a lot of qualities that I am looking for in a mate, so it is hard to name
just 15. I wish I could list more than 15, but I like how I have to think about what is really
important to me. Here are the qualities that I think are the most important: he must be a
member of my church, he must be a worthy priesthood holder, have a sense of humor,
be kind, respectful, honorable, spiritual, caring, compassionate, understanding, a good
listener, a good communicator, patient, loving and a hard-worker.
Out of those 15, the 5 most important are:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

A member of my church
Worthy priesthood holder
Kind
Honorable
Hardworking

The reason that being member of my church is the most important quality that I am
looking for in a mate is because religion is one of the most important things in my life. In
my religion, we believe in eternal marriages, meaning not just till death do you part, but
for forever. These eternal marriages, or sealings, marries the husband and wife for
eternity and allows for their families to be together forever as well. Sealings take place
in our temples, which only worthy members can enter. Which brings me to my second
most important quality.
A worthy priesthood holder is a man who obeys the commandments and is always
striving to be righteous. This is important to me so not only could we be sealed, but
because priesthood holders can give blessings if you are sick, need comfort or
guidance, they can baptize and confirm, and pass the sacrament, among many other
things. I want my children to have a righteous man in their lives that they can look up to.
Third is a man who is kind. Someone who is kindhearted, gentle, courteous, loving,
thoughtful, tolerant and everything else that exemplifies kindness. 1

1 http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/kind

[Type here]

The fourth quality on my list is a toss-up between spiritual and honorable. Honorable
won out because I think being honorable encompasses spirituality. 2 I want someone I
can trust. Someone who will stay faithful, be virtuous and honest, even when honesty
may hurt. I want to know that I can trust my husband to always do the right thing, no
matter what. Sometimes doing the right thing is hard, but an honorable man will always
strive to do right.
The final quality on my top 5 list is hardworking. I want my husband to work hard to
provide for our family. I would love to be a stay-at-home mother for the first few years of
my childrens lives, at least until they are in school. I also want my husband to work hard
at being a father. Additionally, men appear to be more involved in caring for their
children than ever before, having tripled their time spent in child-care from 1965 to
2003[(Sullivan and Coltrane 2008) The Marriage and Family Experience) 3

2 http://www.thesaurus.com/browse/honorable
3 The Marriage and Family Experience by: Brian Strong and Theodore F. Cohen; Cengage Learning; 12 edition
(January 25, 2013) p.138