TwoCrows1

AjaTwoCrows
Ms.Everett
HonorsEnglish11.3
26Aug2015
TheBitterrootTruth
AtthefoothillsofthegreatRockyMountains,therearetownsalongastretchofroad:
Arlee,St.Ignatius,Ronan,andPolson.TheyareinthedeadcenteroftheSalishFlatheadNative
AmericanReservationinnorthwesternMontana,andtheyaretheplaceswhereIhaveneverfelt
moreenlightenedormoredisappointed.
IarrivedinMissoula,Montana,atduskonJuly1stfortheannualpowwow,nowcalled
theArleeCelebration,hostedeveryyearbymytribe,theBitterrootSalish.Itwasbittersweetto
thinkofmytribebecauseIcouldneverbeapartofit,notfully.Arelativeofmineonceusedthe
wordcolumbused.Hemadeitup,butitmeanssomethingthatiswrongfullytakenawayand
mostlikelytakenfromaNativeAmerican.WhenIlandedinMontanaIwasunderthe
impressionthatIhadbeencolumbused,becausemyBitterrootSalishbloodquantumisbelow
25%andtherefore,Iamnotqualifiedtobeamemberofmyowntribe.
Fromtheairport,IdrovewithmygrandmothertoArlee,asmalltown,oneIprobably
wouldhavepassedwithoutevennoticing.Thereisntasinglebuildingovertwostories,and
everyoneintheTribeknowseveryoneelse,probablybecauseweareallrelated.Whenwe
arrived,mygrandmotherandIwenttoourcampgroundandmetupwithmyuncle,myaunt,and
mycousin.Later,whenthesunwasntscorchingtheearth,wewalkedtothepowwowgrounds.
Therewasastructurethatresembledalargemetalroofheldupbyrustcolorbeams.Underit,


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manypeopledancedtotheoldsongsofourpast.Aswewalkedbywecouldfeelthebeatofthe
drumsresonateinourbones.Itwasabeautifulsight,toseemyculturerevivedasifitwerenota
flamethatwasburningout.Butthen,thefacadewasgone.Wewalkedtotheareawherefood
truckswereparkedandconcessionstandsstood.Aswestrolledthrough,Icouldsmelltheoilin
vatsreadyfordeepfrying.AndIbegantoseethepeople.Almostnoonewasthin,exceptthe
children,andmanywereobese.Mygrandmothertoldmethatmostdidnthaveaccesstohealthy
foodsbecausefreshfruitsandvegetablesweretooexpensive.Iwasshocked.
Afterthat,allIcouldseeweremypeopledyingbecauseofthereservationtheyhadbeen
given.Iunderstoodthereservationswerenotbuilttothrivetheyweredeathbeds,placesfrom
whichwewatchedasourbloodquantitiesslowlydeclineduntilthedaywhennoneofuswould
beleft.
Whatbrokemyheartweretheeyes.Intheeyesofthepeople,Icouldseealightlongago
extinguished.Icouldnotseetheirwilltothrive.However,whenIlookedintomyeightyearold
cousinseyes,Icouldseeit,thatlightwasstillthere,andIprayeditwouldntbeextinguished.
EverydayIwasinMontana,myfamilyandIdrovefiftyfourandahalfmilesfromArlee
toBlueBay,analcovenestledonthesideofFlatheadLake,toescapetheheatofthoseblistering
Julysummerdays.Itwasanhourdrive,sowehadquiteabitoftimetotalk.Onthethirdday,I
whisperedtomygrandmother,Doyouthinkitllchange?
What?sheasked.
TheTribe.


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Ihopeso,shesaid.Shewashonest.Thatwaswhatstruckme.Thepuretruth.Atruth
socandidthateventhemosthumanofbiasescouldnottaintit.Atruthsogenuinethatitcould
slipfromherlipswithouthernoticing.Itsfunnyhowpeoplecanbesoafraidoffact.
Myfamilykeptchatteringinthecar,butIwassomewhereelse.Ibegantoseeaglimpse
oftheconditionthatafflictsmytribe.Thatafflictionisafearofthetruth.Thisfeariswhythe
Tribehassuchahardtimemovingforward.Alotofpeopleinmyfamilyseemtobelievethat
Whitepeoplearethereasonmytribeisstillmiredinpoverty,alcoholism,unemployment,
obesityanddrugaddiction,butWhitepeoplearejustWhitepeopleandtheydonothavea
vendettaagainstIndians.Atleastnotnow.Somedefinitelydidinthepastandthatwaswhat
causedallofthis,butthatisthepast.IamWhite:onequarter.MyfatherishalfWhite.Weare
WhiteandweareNative.
Inaphonecallwithmyfather,Ilamentedaboutmybloodquantum.Itssounfairthe
waythattheyaretryingtomakeusdisappear.
What?heasked,clearlyconfused.
TheUSGovernment.Thatlawthatsaysyouhavetohaveatleast25%bloodquantityto
beamemberoftheTribe.ItsdesignedtobringthepopulationdownsononeofuswillbeSalish
anymore.
No,theTribemadethatrule.Iwasconfoundedbythis.Ididnotunderstandwhythe
Tribewouldmakethisregulation.Istilldonot.Itwillnevermakesensetomewhytheywould
makearulethatwilllessenthetribalpopulationovertime.Theymadeatribalrulethatconsiders
thepastandthepresentbutleavesthoseofusinthefuturewithnoofficialplaceintheTribe.


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IleftontheafternoonofSaturday,July4thbeforethefireworksstarted.Igotontoa
relativelysmallplaneandtookoff,backtoLosAngeles.FromaboveIcouldseeourvalleys.
Theonesthatwerewrongfullytakenawayyearsagoandtheonesthatwerestillours.Icouldsee
theTribeandfromfarawayitlookedasthoughitmighthavebeenbeforeanyofthisstarted,
beforesettlerscame,atimewhentherewasjustmytribelivinginthisland.FromupaboveIfelt
clarity.Iwasnolongershroudedinasmokeofrageanddisappointment.Iknewthatmylifedid
nothavetobeacontinuationofIndiansgettingcolumbused.'
IalsounderstoodthatIwasafraidoffact,too.Ifearedwhatitmeanttobedifferent.
Whatitmeanttodisagreewithsomeofmyclosestfamilymembers.Ithoughtlovingsomeone
wassynonymouswithagreeingwiththem.Ididnotwanttobethesubjectofhushed
conversationsorbethetraitor,butthatisthepriceofmyhonestlife.Iwouldratherconfront
thepossibilityofdiscomfortandawkwardnessthanlivealifeoffalsehoodsbecausebeinghonest
withmyselfhasallowedmetofindclarity.
Justiceformypeopleisnotfinished,butIhavemercyfor
my
countryandforthosewho
werenotinvolved.Someofmypeopleliveinastateofmourningforalonglostlifeoftheopen
Plainsandashamanculture,butthatisnotrealistic.Wecannothopetogoback,soitisawaste
oftimetowishforthingsthatareimpossibleanditisawasteoftimetolivealifeofresentment.
Wecanstillpreserveandremember,butthatcannotbeeverything.Wemustmoveforward,too.
Forsomeofmypeople,thosewhoabusedusarestillhauntingthemastheirinnerdemons.
Throughlifelongresentmentandblame,wegivethosewhoharmedusthepowertotakepartsof
oursouls,ourwills,andourdreams.IcanonlylookatmyselfandrealizethatifIspendmylife
beingmadandresentfulofpeoplewhoarelongdead,thentheywillhavetakenapieceofme


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too.Mylifewillnotbeareflectionoffalsehope.Mylifeisaboutmydreamsandmytruth.Itis
aviolent,sad,andupsettingtruth,butitismine,soIwilltakethislifethatIhavebeengivenand
IwillreapwhatIsow.