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Practical Mentoring

Table of contents

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Part 1 Relationships and mentoring ........................................................................................3
Where have all the mentors gone? .........................................................................................5
Openness a key quality for mentoring ................................................................................6
Five kinds of people we will relate to....................................................................................6
Friendships, mentoring and communication..........................................................................7
Circles of relationships ..........................................................................................................9
Part 2 The dynamics of mentoring........................................................................................10
Being influenced and influencing others ...............................................................................7
Four Phases of Apprenticeship Training .............................................................................11
Peters apprenticeship ..........................................................................................................12
Barnabas & Sauls mentoring model ...................................................................................14
Common characteristics of effective mentors .....................................................................15
Eight kinds of Mentoring .....................................................................................................17
The job description of a mentor ...........................................................................................22
Part 3 - Practical steps in mentoring relationships...................................................................24
Steps to initiating mentoring relationships. .........................................................................24
Coaching Model...................................................................................................................25
Practical topics for mentoring..............................................................................................26
Discipling and coaching through books...............................................................................26
What do you do when you meet your mentoree? ................................................................28
Spiritual father or mother relationships ...............................................................................29
Part 4 Mentoring in our leadership styles .............................................................................31
Leadership Style Questionnaire ...........................................................................................32
Principles for effective delegation .......................................................................................37
Part 5 Appendices .................................................................................................................38
5

Compiled & Developed by Stephen Mayers


Copyright1999 Stephen Mayers

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Practical Mentoring

Introduction:
This is a huge subject and one that we will just begin together. The manual is broken into
sections. This first section opens up the topic of mentoring and where it fits into our life of
relationships. The second section shares the dynamics of mentoring and follows on to the
third section that gets into the practicalities of functioning in mentoring relationships. The
fourth develops the theme of leadership styles and encourages us to bring a developmental
bias into our overall leadership, rather than place mentoring as an optional extra for those that
need it!

Part 1 - Relationships and mentoring


Definitions of mentoring - How would you define mentoring?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
The word mentor comes from the name of a character in Homers Odyssey. In this ancient
Greek tale, King Odysseus of Ithaca entrusted his only son, Telemachus, to the care and
training of his wise friend, Mentor, while he himself went off to war.
1. The dictionary defines a mentor as: i). a trusted counsellor or guide. ii). A teacher or
coach.
2. Mentoring is someone imparting an aspect of their life to another that encourages growth.
Mentoring involves intentional relationships in which a mentor imparts knowledge,
skills or values from their experience to a person or group of people they believe in,
who are teachable and responsive and desire to develop their potential.
Stephen Mayers
3. Mentoring is helping people grow to reach their full potential for God. Barry Austin
4. A mentor is someone further on down the road from you who is going where you want to
go and who is willing to give you some light or help you get there.
Win Couchman
5. Mentoring is a relational experience in which one person empowers
another by sharing God-given resources. Paul Stanley, Robert Clinton
6. Mentoring is a process of opening our lives to others, of sharing our lives with others;
a process of living for the next generation. Ron Lee Davis
From the life and example of Jesus, we derive the fundamental concept of mentoring:
More time spent with fewer people equals great lasting impact for God.
Howard Hendricks says:
You can impress people from a distance but you can only impact them up close.

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Short quiz on mentoring1


1. Who was the elderly woman who believed in Billy Graham and prayed for his salvation
every night for ten years?
2. Who built a relationship with a young shoe salesman named Dwight L. Moody? Who led
Moody to Christ in his own shoe store and then encouraged him to share his new found faith
with others, setting him on the road to become one of the most effective evangelists of the
nineteenth century?
3. Who mentored a young Catholic monk named Martin Luther, helping him to discover the
transforming message of grace and freedom at the heart of the New Testament?
4. Who encouraged the English preacher Charles Haddon Spurgeon to persevere through a
time of intense criticism and slander regarding his ministry?
5. Who saw and affirmed in a young man named Charles Wesley the ability to write great
hymns of praise, long before Wesley himself considered writing music?
How did you score in that quiz? Zero? The fact is, each of these mentors is truly
anonymous. And that's the reward of most mentors: obscurity, anonymity, invisibility and
one more thing, the words, "Well done, good and faithful servant," spoken in eternity by the
Master Mentor himself.

An obscure mentor2
Mrs. Clapp used to pray everyday for the students of the high school in her hometown
of Ramsey, New Jersey. For decades, she distributed Bible tracts in the train station, taught
Sunday school and youth club in a poor community, taught Bible club in her own home, and
led Bible memorisation classes in which her students learned as many as 300 verses a year.
After her own children were grown and had left home, she gave half of her annual income to
the support of missionaries.
In the early 1950's Dorothea Clapp took a special interest in a young Ramsey high
school student named George Verwer. She prayed daily for George, and talked to him when
she encountered him walking on the sidewalk or in the train station where she passed out
tracts. She gave him a gospel of John and coaxed him into going with her to a Billy Graham
meeting. There she prayed with him and led him to the Lord.
From that day on, George was on fire for God. He founded an organisation called
Send the Light which later became Operation Mobilisation.
In November 1989, at the age of 88, Dorothea Clapp passed from this life into
eternity. But the investment she made in the life of a young Ramsey high school student
continues to multiply, compound, and expand in the lives of others throughout the world. A
single life she touched so many years ago touches the lives of thousands today.
That's the noblest reward any follower of Christ could hope to see. That's the legacy
of a mentor.

Adapted from "Growing Strong in the Seasons of Life" by Charles Swindoll

Excerpt from Ron Lee Davis, mentoring: the strategy of the master (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 1991)

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Where have all the mentors gone?


Every church, organisation and business has its approach to training leaders. Some have a
formal training that each individual attends, others assign a mentor or develop an
apprenticeship programme. More often you are thrown the deep end to see if you sink or
swim! Whats been your experience? Here are four elements that can be involved in leaders
learning to lead. Often the first three happen in this order and the fourth aspect of training,
coaching or mentoring is forgotten altogether.

1. Formal Training/Education - perhaps a seminar or course


(formal, informal, non-formal)

2. Responsibilities given a role and off you go


(job assignments)

3. Shaping Experiences learning by the school of hard knocks


(unique experiences, exposures, failures, hardships)

4. Relationships personal training, coaching or mentoring


(models, mentors, peers)

Application:
1. How have you learned to lead? Put a % on the 4 elements above in terms of how you
have developed in your leadership
[ ] Formal training [ ] Responsibilities [ ] Shaping experiences [ ] Relationships
2. How do you help other leaders to lead? What % would you now give to the 4 elements?
[ ] Formal training [ ] Responsibilities [ ] Shaping experiences [ ] Relationships
3. How have different generations required a difference emphasis? Comment
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
4. How do different organizations require a difference emphasis? Comment
_________________________________________________________________________
_________________________________________________________________________
Once you have completed the questions, look at the results of a survey of a 100 successful U.S. leaders on the bottom of the next page.

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Openness a key quality for mentoring


1 John 1:7; James 5:16; Ephesians 4:15,16; Hebrews 10:24,25;

Its hard to mentor someone or be mentored by someone who isnt teachable


and open, especially into the areas of their blind spots.
What I know
What
others
know

What
others
don't
know

What I don't know

Openness & honesty

Blind spots

Walking in the light with others

Strengths that need pointing out &


affirming by others, and weaknesses
that need awareness

Facades & masks

Unknown potential

Strengths & weaknesses that I


can share with others appropriately

My potential for growth that can be


developed by God as I respond to Him

We need mentoring relationships to help us develop in what we know and bring awareness of
the things we dont know. Mentors can help us discover our blind spots and help us do
something about them. Mentors can also encourage us to develop the window of openness
and share our lives with others more, in order to narrow this facade or mask window that we
build up.
Mentors can also help us to find our areas of hidden potential. Mentors will believe in us,
have ambition for us and take risks with us, in order for us to discover our unknown potential.
Of course this is the area that only God knows and so as we listen to him and take the
challenges He brings our way, we will develop in our unknown potential.
Results of the survey:

Application:
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.

What blind spots have you discovered over the last couple of years?
What areas of your life do you live with a mask or facade? How can you develop a
greater openness in your life?
What areas of hidden potential have you discovered recently?
What mentors do your have to help you in your growth?
Share your responses with your group and ask for their prayer.

Responsibility - 50%; Relationships - 30%; Shaping experiences - 10%; Formal training/education - 10%
My experience: Responsibility - 35%; Relationships - 35%; Shaping experiences - 15%; Formal Training - 15%

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Being influenced and influencing others


One definition for leadership is Someone who influences others to action. Paul says, I
planted, Apollos watered, but God caused the growth. Our job is to influence people in such
a way that they allow God to bring the growth.

Who has
influenced you?

In what ways has each person influenced you?

1
2
3
4
5
In what ways have you influenced them?
1
2
3
4
5
What were some of the main characteristics of those who have had the
greatest influence in your life?
1
2
3
4
5
Influencing the next generation
Passing on leadership responsibility to the younger generation without adequate mentoring
has tended to produce autocratic young leaders.
Quote from Ken McGreavy, Icthus Fellowship in London
Comments: _________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
Communication theory has evaluated that 7% of what a child learns from a parent comes
through words, 18% from shared experiences and a whopping 75% through modeling.
When you thought I wasnt looking, I saw you put my first painting on the refrigerator, and I
wanted to paint another one.

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Friendships, mentoring and communication


Four types of friendships from:
Convenience
these are the kind of relationships where there is an exchange of favours
Interest

these evolve from doing things together and sharing a common interest.
Stop the involvement together and the friendship stops!

Team

either from other couples you relate to in your marriage or part of the work
team you are linked to. You dont necessarily choose them but can spend a
lot of time with them
established from meaningful experiences of the past

Milestone
experiences

The friendships that are good to develop will have the characteristics of acceptance, openness
and commitment. YWAMers can be great at relationships but sometimes poor at friendships!
We can share fairly intimately with other YWAMers who we may not see that regularly; they
are involved in leadership teams or we meet at conferences but are not necessarily friends.
Local church members however may often be better at having close friendships as they have
the opportunity of being longer term in the location but may not be so good with
relationships! They dont know the principles of relating and getting on with people,
confronting, forgiving, forbearing and all the one anothers. When these principles arent
learned, cliques and rifts develop.

Five levels of communication


Clich conversation
Reporting facts
Personal ideas and
judgment
Feelings and emotion
Complete emotional and
personal communication

Small talk. Hows the weather, how are you?


Sharing what you did on the weekend, where youre going for
holiday!
We move from sharing outside ourselves to revealing things about
ourselves. Sharing opinions of situations
revealing our emotional experiences, like identifying our
frustration, anger or compassion
Sharing your true self. These are our best friends. We all need at
least one

What are the differences of friendship and mentoring relationships?


__________________________________

_________________________________

__________________________________

_________________________________

__________________________________

_________________________________

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Circles of relationships
We all have a limited amount of time and energy and therefore cant be best friends with
everyone. There are priority decisions that we make in order to develop some relationships
and not develop others. Our roles in life bring responsibilities to spend time. For instance if I
am a husband I am responsible to make time to continue to build this relationships. For me
my wife is my best friend. Then comes close friends, friends and acquaintances. Of course
its not as simple as that. We have shorter term relationships that come close but are only for
a season. Other deeper relationships where we dont often see one another but remain as dear
friends.
Over a 3 year period of ministry, this is what it looked like for Jesus, taking out his family
relationships:

1 to 1 with John
1 to 3 with Peter, James & John
1 to 12 with the apostles
1 to 70 with followers
1 to 120 acquaintances

Have you ever wondered why Jesus only took Peter, James and John up the mountain to
witness his transfiguration? When he went into the room to raise the girl from the dead, he
took just the three. When he was distresses with the challenge of going to the cross he only
took the three along with him in the garden to pray. Jesus needed close friends and so do we.
There is an appropriate sharing in our lives. Different levels of relationships will have
different levels of openness.
What levels of relationships are you experiencing?
Best friend _________________________________________________________________
Close friend ________________________________________________________________
Friendship __________________________________________________________________
Acquaintance _______________________________________________________________

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Six key A words for the relationships in our lives


There are all kinds of ways at looking at our lives. Before we get into specifically looking at
the various kind of mentors that we need and can become, lets take a look at six aspects of
our life.
Pastor/Counsellor/Friend
Acknowledge sin/confession

Leader/Friend
Accountability
in life & ministry

Spiritual father/Friend
Ambition/Dreams

Leader/Friend
Affirmation

Friend
Activities

Friend
Anchoring
Who do you have in these categories?
1. To acknowledge and confess your sin to? Who is able to be a means of grace to you?

2. To draw out your ambitions, dream dreams with you and spur you on into your potential?

3. To be a friend, who encourages you, enjoys activities with you and who you can share your
joys and griefs with?

4. To bring accountability in your life and ministry?

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Part 2 The dynamics of mentoring


Five kinds of people we will relate to.
This chart3 gives a helpful framework for the relationships in our lives. If we are going to
remain healthy balanced individuals, we need to make sure we are not overwhelmed with too
many VTPs, VNPs and VDPs. Begin to understand your capacity for dealing with
draining people and teachable people. Its important that we dont allow nice people to stay
nice too long! We need to see them move on to become very trainable people or otherwise
we should limit the time we spend with them.
Type of people!
Very
Resourceful
People (VRP)
Mentors!
Very
Important
People (VIP)
Peer Mentors!
Very
Trainable
People (VTP)
Mentorees
(Apprentices)!
Very
Nice
People (VNP)
Potential
Mentorees
Very
Draining
People (VDP)
Potential
Mentorees!

Definitions!
These people ignite passion in you. When you see
them you feel lifted, compelled to greater growth,
more aware of flaws and possibilities. They make a
positive contribution to your world. We study their
ways and customise them for ourselves.
!
They share our passion.
VIP's bind themselves together to get the task done.
They stir one another and keep one another working
towards the right goals.
There is mutual input into one anothers lives
!
They catch our passion.
They are to us what we are to VRP's. Now we ignite
their passion. They usually emulate us and seldom
take away. In sharing our lives we stir our own
passion.!
They enjoy our passion. Sometimes these are the only
people we have in our lives. They come in large
numbers, they clap, laugh, build our egos and fill our
pews and programmes. They are good people, and
make fine friends but overall their contribution is
imperceptible. Lots of time can be spent with them
with no real results. But they are potential mentorees,
so choose carefully.
!
They sap our passion.
They call us during supper, take our time after
meetings, are always sick, are moaners who cause
conflicts. Every group has a percentage of them.
However a person can be a VDP to one individual and
not to another. Again choose carefully who you spend
time with. They too can become very trainable
people.

Who are the main


people in these
categories in your life?!
!

Adapted: Gordon MacDonald, Restoring your spiritual passion (Crowborough: Highland books, 1986)

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Peters apprenticeship
Its difficult to see into the day to day lives of Jesus and the disciples, to know how they spent
their time, and more specifically how Jesus mentored or apprenticed Peter. However if we
look at the specific scriptures where Jesus is speaking to Peter, we can gain some insights. It
is also interesting to note that the apprenticing of Peter seems to take place in the midst of the
group. Apprenticeship is on the job training and Jesus spent some 2! years with Peter in
this role. How did Jesus apprentice Peter? What steps of growth can we see in Peter's life?
1. Jesus had a prophetic vision & ambition for Peter
You will be called Cephas...I will make you fishers of men. John 1:42; Matthew 4:19
Talent spotting: Seeing potential gifts, anointing, leadership in someone and calling it forth.
Staffing by strength: Not waiting until potential leaders have dealt with all their weaknesses
before getting them involved. Help them to be fulfilled through releasing them to utilise their
strengths.
What prophetic vision have you had for your mentorees? _____________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
2. Jesus had dedication that motivated Peter
Come follow me ....... immediately he left his nets Matthew 4:19, 20
Our dedication level can become the dedication level of our followers.
How do we show our dedication? The four lettered word - TIME. (quality and quantity)
What kind of time is appropriate for us to give to our mentorees?
___________________________________________________________________________
3. Jesus brought conviction to Peter
"When Simon Peter saw this he fell at Jesus knees and said Go away from me Lord, I am a
sinful man" Luke 5: 4-9
Everything Jesus did was to develop his disciples. He used every situation as a learning
opportunity. The miracle of fish had the desired effect. Jesus just had to look across the
courtyard after Peter had denied knowing him and conviction fell. Peter in turn brought
conviction on the praying disciples as he knocked on the door having been let out of prison
by an angelic visit!
How have you been used to bring conviction in the lives of your mentorees?
___________________________________________________________________________
4. Jesus demonstrated ministry to Peter
Mark 5: 37-42; Acts 9: 36-41
Jesus models ministry to Jairus daughter in front of Peter. We generally learn by imitation
and Peter when faced with a similar ministry situation with Dorcas, follows his masters
example. Jesus modelled preaching, healing and casting out demons and then sent them out 2
by 2 to do the same thing. If our mentorees are going to learn we need to model everything
to them.
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What have others learned through your modelling?


___________________________________________________________________________
Expectation Principle
5. Jesus had clear expectations for Peter
Matthew 14: 28-33 It is one thing to receive or share a A potential leader tends to rise
vision, its another to have someone share their positive to the level of genuine expectancy
expectation. One of the greatest struggles people have of a leader he/she respects.
is that they dont feel believed in.
Jesus expected Peter to have a go at walking on the
water! He took risks in delegation. He expected the disciples into success. There is a big
difference between brainstorming possibilities and encouraging the use of someones gifts
and giving them emotional affirmation. One deals with what the person can do, the other
deals with the person themselves.
How have your mentorees grown through your expectation of them?
___________________________________________________________________________
6. Jesus encouraged Peter to receive revelation
Matthew 16: 16, 17; Matthew 17: 1-7; John.6: 68, 69
"This was not revealed by men but by my Father in heaven; "To whom shall we go? You
have the words of eternal life. We believe and know you are Holy one of God" Jesus knew
he wasn't with them long, they needed to hear Father God speak to them for themselves.
How can you help others receive revelation? _____________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
7. Jesus continually had interaction with Peter
Matthew 15:15 Explain the parable to us. Matthew 18:21 "How many times do I forgive?"
Luke 12:41 "Is this a parable for everyone?" John 13:36 "Why can't I follow you now?"
Question, question, question. Jesus created a climate where questions were welcome.
What can you do to encourage interaction and question asking?
___________________________________________________________________________
8. Jesus encouraged Peter to have passion
John 21: 15-17 Peter had vision, was used mightily, had been a faithful follower, was highly
committed and dedicated, but now had lost his passion. Jesus questions him about his love, to
help him evaluate why he was fishing. Jesus encourages Peter by asking: "Peter what are you
doing here? Feed my sheep." Jesus hears his dedication and gives a fresh vision and
commission.
How can you stir your mentorees to keep passionate for Jesus?

________________________________________________________________

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Barnabas & Sauls mentoring model


Mentor: Meaning from ancient Greek literature is Someone who develops the potential of
another person. Biblical basis: Paraklesis Romans 12:8
The Two-fold focus of leadership Ephesians 4:11,12
Mentoring has often been neglected, due to the fact that leadership has been viewed with a
task oriented emphasis. However the biblical leader is called to do the task and to develop
the people they lead. It took people oriented leaders to launch Joshua, Elisha, Paul,
Timothy and the 12 apostles. 2 Timothy 2:2
God has called us to spur others on... Hebrews 10:24, 25 Encourage... Parakaleo verb
"As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another" Proverbs 27:17
a. Barnabas takes initiative towards Saul
Acts 4:36,37 Renamed Barnabas. "Son of Paraklesis"
Acts 9:26-28 When Saul is discouraged Barnabas befriends him & opens doors.
Characteristics of Effective Leaders see page 11
b. Saul's coaching time during ministry to the church Acts 11:19-26
v.24 Barnabas - the character model
v.25 Barnabas goes to find Saul... he's probably been praying for him!
v.26 Saul works alongside Barnabas and learns from him - paraklesis
Apprenticeship model, mentoring, coaching see page 12
c. Paul's coaching time in missions Acts 13:1-5
Acts 13-14 Paul becomes the main speaker. Barnabas is willing to release him.
Acts 14:12 Zeus - the chief of the gods... Barnabas is still seen as the leader.
Mentoring others to become better than you... in some gifts.
...It's a challenge to our pride, but is the aim of a mentoring relationship!
Four Phases of Apprenticeship see page 11
A Coaching model see page 13
d. Disagreement between Barnabas & Paul Acts 15:36-41
The issue is the mentoring of John Mark.
What do you do when the person you are mentoring fails? (Acts 13:13)
Barnabas said, Let's help him learn from his mistake. Paul said, He's finished!
Your thoughts: ______________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

Barnabas wanted Paul to catch the vision for mentoring others, but Paul missed it!

e. Paul learns the lesson & becomes a mentor. Acts 16:1 Paul becomes a spiritual father to Timothy. 1st & 2nd Timothy - 4 times "My son..."
Paul trains Timothy to be a multiplier through mentoring... 2 Timothy.2:2

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Four Phases of Apprenticeship Training


I do it - the model
I do it, and you are with me. - watching and learning
You do it, and I am with you. - supporting and encouraging
You do it. - report back for advice, encouragement and evaluation
Which phase do we tend to neglect? ____________________________________

Common characteristics of effective mentors


1. Ability to see potential in a person.
2. Tolerance with mistakes, brashness, abrasiveness, and the like in order to see that
potential develop.
3. Flexibility in responding to people and circumstances.
4. Patience, knowing that time and experience are needed for development.
5. Perspective, having vision and ability to see down the road and suggest the next steps that
a mentoree needs.
6. Gifts and abilities that build up and encourage others.
7. Competence in the ministry that draws respect
8. Availability, willingness and commitment to make time for individuals

Application:
1. Circle two qualities that you are strong in.
2. Put a cross by the two qualities that you are weaker in.
3. Discuss with someone and pray for each other.

What have been the characteristics of the effective mentors in your life?
___________________________________________________________________________
What was it about the life of Jesus that made him so attractive as a mentor?
___________________________________________________________________________
What is your action plan to become like your effective mentors, or like Jesus as a mentor?
___________________________________________________________________________

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Mentors thoughts on important qualities for mentoring


! Mentoring requires no special talent or God-given quality. All God asks is for us to take
seriously the task of nurturing and building others. Vanatta
! We must not wait until we are healed first, loved first, and then reach out. We must serve
no matter how little we have our act together. It may well be that one of the first steps
toward our own healing will come when we reach out to someone else. Rebecca Manley
Pippert
! A mentor is not a person who can do the work better than his follower; he is a person
who can get his followers to do the work better than he can. Fred Smith
! If a mentor is not stretching his mentoree, he does not have a mentoring relationship.
Ted Engstrom
! The true mentor defends his protg against his own personal influence. He guides their
eyes from himself to the Holy Spirit. Amos Bronson Alcott

Application:
Circle the aspects of mentoring that you feel are very important

A young Christian writes: I want someone who can help me think through some goals and
hold me accountable for personal growth.
What do you feel is important that hasnt been stated yet?
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

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Group mentoring
Sometimes its easy to get locked into a way of thinking. Mentoring has often been thought
of as a one to one relationship. However if we take a look at the life of Jesus, we see him
with groups continually. He called the twelve to himself and spent many hours teaching and
interacting and giving them assignments. Then he spent time with the smaller group of Peter,
James and John and had other curriculum and experience for them. In the context of the
group he obviously spent time with individuals but the point is that this wasnt his exclusive
way of discipling, coaching, apprenticing or mentoring his team.
Group mentoring for leadership in the DTS
Barry Austin established the basic leadership school (BLS) in the late 70s as a training for
DTS staff. His method was group mentoring. Rather than teach the DTS for every session,
he encouraged the development of small groups every day, which were led by small group
leaders. These leaders themselves had a time with Barry, who took them through a
curriculum of leadership training. These sessions included:
Discussion of leadership issues in an interactive approach, to model to the leaders
how to apply teaching in their small groups
Ministering to one another in order to learn the art of sharing in openness, moving in
the gifts of the spirit and praying for one another
Asking questions about leadership and sharing issues arising in their group times for
help in their ongoing leadership development
Opportunities of speaking to the DTS with feedback and coaching
Fun times to encourage a sense of community and relationship among the team
Through the development of this training, many leaders of DTSs were developed that
enabled tremendous growth for the pioneering of bases and teams.
Group mentoring in leadership teams
When you are leading a team, whether you know it or not, you will be living out a leadership
philosophy or using values that are important to you. Others who are involved in that team
will perhaps be aware of the things they like (values they agree with) and things they dont
like (values they disagree with) in your leadership.
The diagram shows three main aspects of functioning in a leadership
team.
A. Intercession: Praying through issues, hearing from God,
intercession
stimulating our spiritual leadership and making decisions
prayerfully
business ministry
B. Business: leadership agendas, organisational processes,
planning, problem solving, decision making
C. Ministry: building team together and sharing openly in one anothers lives, ministry to
one another to develop and strengthen individuals and team dynamics
The leader of a team has an opportunity of creating a climate for mentoring in the team. The
scope of learning is vast and team leaders and members together can grow individually and as
a team in many ways depending on their commitment, teachability and responsiveness.
All the following eight kinds of mentoring can be done in groups as well as with individuals.

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Eight kinds of Mentoring


Finding your area of contribution and need as a mentor and mentoree
The classic view of mentoring is that there is one mentor for your life, who will give you
everything you will ever need! We need to get rid of this super spiritual guru idea. We
could be waiting for a very long time to find someone with all the gifts we need. Instead we
can have a cluster of mentors who together will be able to impart what we need.4
Types of
Central thrust of
mentor!
empowerment!
Intentional - individual or group
- regular or occasional!
Enablement in the basics of
1! Discipler
Character &
Commitment!
2! Coach

People
People I am
mentoring me! mentoring!
(Place potential people in brackets)

following Christ and


development of godly character
!

Problems!
5! Teacher
Principles!
6! Sponsor
Possibilities!

!
!

Motivation, skills and


application needed to meet a
task or challenge
!

Competency
!
Accountability, direction and
3! Spiritual
Father/Mother insights for commitments and
Calling!
4! Counsellor

!
!

decisions affecting spirituality


and maturity
!
Timely advice and correct
perspectives on viewing self,
others, circumstances and
ministry!

!
!
!
!

Knowledge and understanding


of a particular subject
!

!
!

Career guidance and protection


as one moves within an
organization
!

Passive!
!

7! Contemporary A living, personal model for life,


ministry or profession that not
Model!
only exemplifies the values one
holds, but inspires emulation!

8! Historical
Model!

!
!
4

Someone who although is now


dead continues to pass on
dynamic principles and values
for life, ministry and profession
through their writings.!

!
!
!

!!!!

Chart developed from Paul Stanley and Robert Clinton, Connecting (Colorado Springs: Navpress, 1992)

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Skills

Values

What are you good at?


What do you have an anointing in?
What do you do naturally?
What jobs do you gravitate to?

Whats important to you?


What do you fight for?
What takes precedence?
Whats priority?
What makes you angry about others
behaviour or the way things function?
Why do people like you?
How do people encourage you?
What fruit of the spirit do you express?
In what ways can people count on you?

Character

Principles

What lessons have you learned?


What principles do you live by?
What mistakes won't you make again?
How do you approach things and why?

Thoughts.........Actions...........Attitudes.........Way of life
Principles.........Skills...............Values.............Character

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My contribution areas - What I can pass on to others?

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Practical Mentoring

Stumbling blocks to being a mentor


1. Im nobody special. Ive led small groups and had responsibility for people but I am
certainly not the type to proclaim myself role model or shining example of spiritual
maturity.
2. I'm too busy. I find its hard to fit everything into my schedule now with all my
responsibilities. I fear mentoring would begin to take even my personal time.
3. I wouldn't know where to start or what we would do. I haven't been mentored and so
haven't had any role models to imitate.
What would you say to these responses?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What stumbling blocks have you faced in being, or thinking of being a mentor?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________
What would keep you from being a mentor right now?
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

Toxic Mentors
Attitudes to avoid:
1. The Avoider.

Of course well get together, but Im busy today.

2. The Dumper.

A protg? Id love a dedicated assistant!

3. The Criticiser.

Let me take this opportunity to show you why thats not the right way
to do it.

4. The User.

Lets get together, I need to toss some ideas around.

5. The Queen Bee. I made it in a much tougher time by myself. You can too.
Richard Tyre

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The job description of a mentor


Becoming a mentor is high and noble calling. The role of a mentor is crucial. The life of a
mentor is risky. The rewards of a mentors work are profound, but intangible. The job
description of a mentor is demanding. If you think you want to be a mentor, consider the
following statements, which describe the character and attitude a mentor must have and the
demands a mentor must meet. Check the statements that apply to you.
! I am willing to spend the time it takes to build a close relationship with the mentoree.
! I commit myself to believing in the potential and future of the mentoree, to telling the
mentoree what kind of future I see ahead for him/her; to share and develop the
possibilities for his/her life.
! I am willing to be vulnerable and transparent before the mentoree, willing to share not
only my strengths and successes but also my weaknesses, failures, brokenness, and sins.
! I am willing to be honest yet affirming in confronting the mentorees errors, faults, and
areas of immaturity.
! I am committed to standing by the mentoree through trials, even trials that are selfinflicted as a result of ignorance or error.
! I am committed to helping the mentoree set goals for his/her spiritual life, career, ministry
and to helping the mentoree dream dreams.
! I am willing to objectively evaluate the mentoree's progress toward his/her goal.
! Above all, I am committed to faithfully living out everything I teach.
OK. So lets say you are ready to become a mentor! You have the potential of a mentoring
relationship. What now?
Lets focus on the first three types of mentoring - discipling, coaching & spiritual father or
mother. The following points will give some ideas of what you can do and how you can do
it.

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Mentoring Upwards
At times we are called upon to influence and in fact mentor those who are leading or who are
senior to us in some way. This kind of mentoring needs to be handled with care, humility and
grace.
We see examples of this kind of mentoring in the life of Kings. Jehoiada the priest in 2 Kings
12, was a key figure in the nation of Israel and mentored the young king Joash. In this case
the king was very young and needed a wise mentor and scripture tells us the king did right in
the eyes of the Lord, all the days that Jehoiada the priest instructed him. When the mentor is
older, there is a temptation that strength of character and experience can manipulate the other
person. Jehoiada however acted with wisdom in serving the King.
In the life of David, we see another mentor in the shape of Nathan, the prophet. Confronting
a king could be very life threatening, especially if you caught them in a bad mood! Nathan
acted with creativity and wisdom in sharing a story with King David about and a rich and
poor shepherd in 2 Samuel 12. The story revealed the heart of the King and fortunately for
Nathan, the King received the word and repented.
We will face this issue with parents, leaders, pastors and elders. No one has it altogether and
we all have a need of continual learning. The challenge for us all is to remain teachable no
matter how old or what status we achieve.
Whenever there is the need to mentor upwards, it is to be done in conjunction with giving
honour and value, with graceful suggestions, by example and with much prayer.

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Part 3 - Practical steps in mentoring relationships


Steps to initiating mentoring relationships.
For Mentor

For Mentoree

1
2
3

1
2
3

Identify my need
Pray for the right person
Look around and then ask

Initiate the relationship

Share your desires

Invite them to consider a mentoring


relationship with you
Clarify expectations
Get started by setting a time

4
5
6
7
8

Identify my contribution areas


Work at developing these areas
Pray for opportunities and possible
mentorees
Initiate relationship with those who
could benefit from your contribution.
Share your interest in seeing them
develop
Invite them to consider a mentoring
relationship with you
Clarify expectations
Get started by setting a time

7
8

Application for mentor:


Look at steps one to three right now and think of your contribution areas, ways you can
develop them and possible mentorees that you could take on.

Application for mentoree:


Identify some specific needs you have right now and begin to pray for some possible people
who could help you develop in these areas.

Aspects of expectations to clarify


9
10
11
12
13
14
15
16
17

Agree on the purpose of the relationship


Establish times to meet and the regularity of meeting that you are both happy with
Discuss the kind of activities that will be involved
Agree on the type of accountability and how progress will be monitored
Set up communication mechanisms
Clarify the level of confidentiality
Modify expectations to fit the real-life mentoring situation
Set the life cycle of the relationship
Evaluate the relationship from time to time

Mentoring Application Exercise:


1. Find a partner
2. Discuss the following two scenarios in the context of a DTS lecture phase:
An individual has a character issue of lack of self discipline in spending time with God,
has trouble following through on commitments with others, is late to meetings, forgets work
duties and is lazy generally in community life. How would you approach this person and
help them deal with this weakness?
An individual has a problem in praying out loud in the group, sharing testimony or teaching
a bible study group. How would you coach the person?
3. Think of an individual that you believe is a potential mentoree. Think through possible
answers to steps 4-17 from the chart above.

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Coaching Model
The first step is to identify a specific area that the mentoree desires to be coached in. Once
this is established then you can choose your resources. Apart from sharing, studying a book,
praying, etc you can also model the skill you are teaching. The following is an outline for a
model of coaching. See also appendix 5 on giving and receiving feedback.

Experience comes first


Give a ministry challenge to develop the potential of the mentoree.
Meet with them to talk about the ministry challenge before they do it and agree to go with
them to the event and then to meet afterwards for feedback.

Value the person


Attend the event or watch them to see progress and show them you are committed to them
and believe in them.

Ask them questions


After the event meet and ask: What went well? What would you do differently? How do you
need to develop?

Level with them


Point out strengths, weaknesses and identify the blind spots in their ministry. If they don't
see what they are doing wrong you need to point it out. Use evaluation sheets or some form
of feedback to show the areas they need to grow in.

Underline key issues


Draw out principles to be learned from their experience and self evaluation. Then add other
principles from your own experience and wisdom.

Aim in view
Show where you want them to get to or the standard you would like them to attain. Show the
bite size steps or action steps to get there and where they are at the present time.

Teach the next step


Show them what they need to work on next or encourage them to take the first step again to
gain confidence and competence.

Encourage them forward


Give them the next challenge.

Application:
In what practical ways could you be a coach? Make a list right now.
________________________________________________________________________
________________________________________________________________________

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Practical topics for mentoring


Focusing on the intentional one to one or group mentoring, the following gives an initial list
of topics for you to consider. You will add to this list as you develop as a mentor.

Type of mentor Possible topics


Assurance of salvation, forgiveness, filling of the spirit, bible study,
Discipler
worship, intercession, church involvement, evangelism, hearing
God's voice, renewing the mind, relationships, gifts of the spirit.
Christlikeness, holiness, humility, openness, self image, fruit of the
spirit, loving one another, communication, ... the list is long.

Coach

Worship, preaching and teaching, relational skills, decision making,


planning, problem solving, intercession, small group leading, leading
meetings, leading teams, spiritual leadership, organisational
development, computing, school leading, strategy development,
growing in a type of ministry, input on any job you are currently
doing, any skill you would like to learn.

Spiritual
Father or
Mother

Major decision making for life - marriage, ministry, career, moving,


leadership, transitions, traumas, life issues, family issues.
Giving perspective and objectivity, help in prioritising and long range
planning.

Discipling and coaching through books


One of the ways that can give a framework and a curriculum to a mentoring relationship
especially when you are discipling or coaching is to centre around a book on the topic for
growth. There are many books to choose from but the following are three examples that I
have used with success.
! Understanding leadership by Tom Marshall
! Disciplines of a godly man by Kent Hughes
! The master plan of evangelism by Robert Coleman
There are a host of discipleship materials available and I have a manual called growing
together which can be used with a group or an individual. This provides notes for the
teacher and a worksheet for the individual with application along the way.
Homework for both the mentor and mentoree is to read the next chapter and make a note of
your reactions. These include what you agree with, what you dont agree with, and any
questions you have. Its also good to have an action plan. Write down 2-3 actions as a result
from reading the chapter that can be the basis for accountability. Generally I would use the
book to get started on the topic, refer to quotes, principles and examples and then go on to
talk personally. Usually issues arise from the reading that can then be focused on. The key
for the mentor is to ask the right questions and be ready to share personal illustrations and
lessons learned.

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1. Understanding Leadership by Tom Marshall - Sovereign World


This excellent book gives a 21 week mentoring course on leadership taking the intro and a
chapter each week.
Introduction What is leadership?
VISION
Chapter 1
Foresight, the Leaders Lead
Chapter 2
Goals - The Leaders Aim
Chapter 3
The Question of Timing
Chapter 4
Imparting the Vision
AUTHORITY & POWER
Chapter 5
Danger - Power at work
Chapter 6
The Redemption of Power
Chapter 7
The Redemption of Leadership
Chapter 8
How to Become a Servant
Leader
Chapter 9
The Status Syndrome
Chapter 10
Coping with Criticism
Chapter 11
Authority - The Leaders Mantle
Chapter 12
Biblical Stress Management

RELATIONSHIPS
Chapter 13 Relationship-The Leaders Network
Chapter 14 Trust, the Cost of Commitment
Chapter 15 Who Cares? Love and Leadership
Chapter 16 Made for Honour
Chapter 17 Understanding

ORGANISATION
Chapter 18
Chapter 19

Meet the Corporation


The City Revisited

Chapter 20

When Leaders Fail

2. Disciplines of a Godly Man by R. Kent Hughes - crossway book


This book can become an 18 week curriculum for character based mentoring in Godliness.
INTRODUCTION

CHARACTER

Chapter 1

Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12

Discipline for Godliness

RELATIONSHIPS

Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5

Discipline of Purity
Discipline of Marriage
Discipline of Fatherhood
Discipline of Friendship

SOUL

Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9

Discipline of Mind
Discipline of Devotion
Discipline of Prayer
Discipline of Worship

Discipline of Integrity
Discipline of Tongue
Discipline of Work

MINISTRY

Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17

Discipline of Church
Discipline of Leadership
Discipline of Giving
Discipline of Witness
Discipline of Ministry

DISCIPLINE

Chapter 18

Grace of Discipline

3. The Master Plan of Evangelism by Robert Coleman - Ravell


This book is a wonderful tool for evangelism and discipleship. It can either be a simple 8
week mentoring guide or you can utilise the study guide version of the book with 13 lessons.
Chapter 1
Selection
Chapter 5
Demonstration
Chapter 2
Association
Chapter 6
Delegation
Chapter 3
Consecration
Chapter 7
Supervision
Chapter 4
Impartation
Chapter 8
Reproduction
List some books that have impacted you and could form the basis for mentoring others:
___________________________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________________________

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What do you do when you meet your mentoree?


I generally use the following guidelines but not necessarily in this order.
!
catch up relationally and find out whats been happening
!
share any new insights, thoughts and prayers that may be relevant to the other
individual
!
ask if there is anything they would like to talk about, questions or issues they are
thinking
about
! talk about the topic for this session and if you are going through a book, ask for feedback
from the next chapter of the book. Follow up on the last sessions homework or
application and share about the issues at hand.
!
pray together remembering to affirm, share ambition and bring accountability

Style of relationships
People tend to conduct their mentoring relationships in different ways.
Planned informal; Planned formal; Unplanned informal and Unplanned formal

Planned
Thought through schedule, materials,
timing, location, application, but in a
relaxed setting in a cafe, at home in the
lounge or some cozy place. The way the
time goes isnt according to a pre-fixed
schedule and you cover what is appropriate
in the relational mode of mentoring.

Thought through schedule, materials,


timing, location, application but takes place
in the office or more formal setting. The
time tends to be more professional in its
feeling. You work to a predetermined
schedule and there is not so much time for
small talk. Its down to business!

Informal

Formal

The setting is informal and it can feel like


friends meeting for coffee but you know
you are coming to spend time with your
mentor. You just dont know what will be
asked or how the process will develop. You
know that you are going to be challenged
and grow through the experience though
and have certain expectations that have been
shared at the start.

The setting is formal, you come to the preset meeting with clear time schedule but you
arent sure what you will be dealing with or
in what way. You know you are wanting to
grow in certain ways but the order of issues
or how you get there will vary from week to
week.
The time unfolds as you talk
together.

Unplanned
Application:
1. Think about Jesus style of mentoring. Which of the four styles above did he use in
dealing with different people? Discuss.
2. Which of the four styles do you or do you think you would tend to utilise or feel most
comfortable with for mentoring relationships? Discuss.

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Spiritual father or mother relationships


As a spiritual father or mother you may want to start with a spiritual checkup. This can take
the form of asking a number of questions. The following list are some suggestions from
Bobb Biehl5, author and expert in mentoring.
Encourage the mentoree to come up with :
1. A list of one to three upcoming decisions they are facing in which they want some input
2. A list of one to three problems prohibiting them from reaching their goals.
3. A list of plans that will provide the mentor with general information on the long range
goals
4. A list of progress points. Its good to know where growth is taking place
5. A list of prayer requests for the mentors prayer support
6. Personal road blocks, blind spots, and fears to be discussed.
Personally I have encouraged the mentoree to go through their roles and goals for the next
couple of years. This gives insight and helps with the whole area of priorities. See the
manual on self leadership and the exercises on roles and goals for more information.

Spiritual fathers/mothers help you to finish well by:


1. Giving perspective at crucial times in our lives.
2. Detecting the need for renewal experiences and helping you interpret them.
3. Detecting and warning against negative patterns and the shying away from opportunity or
the abuse of power and authority in your life.
4. Stimulating and providing accountability for your personal life, growth and intimacy with
God.
5. Encouraging you to develop the right disciplines and new perspectives.
6. Modeling values and a positive learning attitude.
7. Spotting signs of plateauing and stimulating learning.

Results of an Australian development study of leaders in their 30's


Those who had occasional mentors in 20's found they:
1. Were significantly more secure in who they were and more affirmed.
2. Had greater appreciation for character and values in leadership.
3. Were more confident in their own knowledge and experience.
4. Had greater understanding of how to apply knowledge to life & profession.
5. Solicited feedback and evaluation.

Bobb Biehl Increasing your Leadership Confidence. (Sisters, Oregon: Questar Publishers, Inc. 1989)

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Starting mentoring relationships in your present role


The following is a list of possible areas where you could begin to mentor. Sometimes we are
involved in so many activities and fail to see the opportunities that are right in front of us.
For instance, if you are overseeing anyone in line leadership, here is the first wonderful
opportunity to see them grow in their skills and character on the job. Take time out to think
through where you could start mentoring relationship on the job.
1. Line leadership - national, base, team 5. Leading meetings
leadership
! management - problem solving;
! presentation skills; teaching and
planning; decision making;
! preaching
supervision
! skill development
! leading worship, intercession,
ministry
! teaching values & character
! organising, chairing meetings
2. Group mentoring
6. Short courses on any subject
! leadership teams
! developing skills
! school staff, small groups
! imparting values
! teams of all kinds
! bringing understanding
3. Peer mentoring
7. Coaching
! small groups, cells
! in any aspect of life and work
! accountability groups
! anything you do well
! mutual influence
8. Parenting
! marriage
! developing the individual for life
4. Task group
!
short term projects

Application:
Think about your own situation. What areas of responsibility for people do you have right
now? In which of these can you add a mentoring dimension?

Practical ways of developing potential leaders


!
!
!
!
!
!
!
!

Give encouragement and timely advice.


Risk reputation in order to back a developing leader.
Help the developing leader get the needed resources or contacts to grow in the Lord
Model various aspects of leadership character and functions so that those following
will be encouraged to rise to the standard modeled.
Give books, tapes and articles which will help broaden the perspective of the
developing leader.
Take developing leaders on outreaches or speaking engagements. This not only
provides on-the-job training but also imparts new levels of exposure, credibility and
confidence to the developing leader.
Give financially to the developing leader to aid their training.
Provide opportunities for the emerging leaders so they can grow in their gifts and
skills.

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Part 4 Mentoring through our leadership styles


Whether we know it or not, we have our own style of relating to people and leading in
ministry. We tend to work well with some and not so well with others. When we understand
this natural style that we function in automatically, we can then develop other styles that are
necessary if we are going to be effective leaders.
Style = how we use authority.
Use of authority by leader

Use of authority by follower


Leader decides
decides

Leader and group decides

Individual

Releasing authority, selling ideas, directing asking what they want, influencing supporting

People Satisfaction

xB

xE

xD

xC

xA

A. Total Task Style


done no matter what.

Fulfillment of the Task


- the goal is to get the job

B. People Focused Style - the goal is to make people happy no matter what
C. Country Club Style - the goal is to have a good time no matter what
D. Team Leadership Style - the goal is to maximise people satisfaction and fulfillment of the
task
E. Dream World Style of leadership - Everything is perfect!
Of course we want to accomplish the task and care for people and here lies the tension.
Matthew 16:15 Go into all the world and preach the gospel
John 13:35 By this will all men know you are my disciples, by your love for one another.

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Leadership Style Questionnaire


(Circle the letter a, b, c, d, e, that best fits your response in the following questions.)
1. Your team is not responding to your friendly conversation and obvious concern for their spiritual
welfare. They are not really doing very well.
a. Give a challenging talk and share that you are expecting them to pull together.
b. Make yourself available if anyone wants to share any difficulties they are having.
c. Get with one of the team members that seem to have a rapport with the others and get them to help you.
d. Sit down with the team and put some goals together for growth.
e. Hope the team improves and don't say anything.
2. The team seems to be flowing well together and relationships are growing.
a. No definite action
b. Emphasise the importance of reaching the group goals.
c. Continue to encourage relationship but make sure that all the members are aware of the tasks at hand.
d. Ask if you can help the group in any way.
e. See if there is anyone in the group that you can involve in leadership.
3. Someone in the team is sharing their testimony for the first time.
a. Show him/her guidelines and put a framework on paper for them to follow.
b. Talk it through and share together how it could be improved.
c. Trust the person involved that they will do a good job.
d. Ask someone in the team to help the individual share their testimony.
e. Meet and work on it together and get them to practice on you.
4. Someone in the team is going through a hard time. In previous times together you haven't been on the
same wavelength in sharing.
a. Bring someone else in to help in counselling.
b. Believe that they are mature enough to work it out themselves.
c. Encourage him/her to take your advice and take specific steps to break through.
d. Ask him/her if they are struggling and what they feel they should do.
e. Talk it through bringing out your suggestions to solve the difficulty.
5. The church/organisation is going through the stress of growth and you are considering making major
changes.
a. Encourage feedback as to what the group feels about the changes that you have suggested.
b. Form a group to come up with the options of change and put their recommendations into action with the rest
of the teams consent.
c. Encourage the group to give feedback and give their suggestions for the ongoing growth of the group.
d. Communicate to the group what is going to take place and how it will affect them.
e. While things are pretty busy hold off on making a decision until some clear options present themselves.
6. A team member is needing guidance and feeling insecure
a. You talk to the person but really dont know how to encourage them and so rather than say something you
would regret you wait in the hope something will work out for them.
b. You pray together and encourage the person to share back what they feel the Lord wants them to do.
c. You set up a time to pray together, talk it through and come to a decision.
d. After talking and praying you encourage the person toward a certain course of action.
e. After spending time together you encourage the person to go and pray and let you know what they decided.
7. You are responsible to lead the group in a time of intercession.
a. Encourage someone within the group to take the lead for the time of intercession with your backing.
b. You prepare beforehand the areas of prayer getting the relevant information for communication.
c. You have an idea of where the prayer meeting is going but get the group to give input.
d. You encourage the group to participate and come to agreement as to what should be prayed for.
e. Certain individuals have specific burdens that tend to lead the way.

Now transfer these answers to the evaluation table on the following page.

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Leadership Styles Evaluation


Situations
1
2
3
4
5
6
7
Add up the
number of
questions circled

Quadrant 1
a.
b.
a.
c.
d.
d.
b.

Quadrant 2
d.
c.
b.
e.
a.
c.
c.

Quadrant 3
b.
d.
e.
d.
c.
b.
d.

Quadrant 4
c.
e.
d.
a.
b.
e.
a.

Quadrant 5
e.
a.
c.
b.
e.
a.
e.

Place your scores in the boxes below.


Relational Behaviour

Quadrant 3

Quadrant 2

Supporting

Coaching

Quadrant 5 Quadrant 4

Quadrant 1

Abdicating

Directing

Delegating

Task Behaviour
One of the primary functions of leadership is to equip and prepare people for ministry in the
body of Christ. (Ephesians 4:12) Our effectiveness in doing this will be affected in a major
way by our leadership style.
Leadership style describes the way we influence and lead people in their service for the Lord.
We tend to be either task oriented or people oriented in our leadership style. If we are task
oriented, well tend to be more directive in our leadership style and more supportive if were
people oriented. Being directive and supportive are each appropriate in different situations.
Leaders need to be both task and people oriented.

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Directive and Supportive Leadership styles


All leadership styles are a combination of different measures of both directive and supportive
behaviour.6
Directive behaviour: (task oriented - gets the job done quickly and well)
This involves clearly telling people what to do, how to do it, where to do it and when to do it
and then closely supervising their performance.
Supportive behaviour: (people oriented - develops and releases people)
This involves listening to people, providing support and encouragement for their efforts, and
then facilitating their involvement in problem solving and decision -making.
Explaining the four quadrants
1. Directing: High directive, low supportive
The leader provides specific instructions and closely supervises to fulfill the task.
2. Coaching: high directive, high supportive
The leader continues to direct and closely supervises the task, but also explains decision, asks
for suggestions, encourages initiative and supports progress.
3. Supporting: low directive, high supportive
The leader facilitates and supports peoples efforts toward accomplishing the task and shares
responsibility for decision-making with them.
4. Delegating: low directive, low supportive
The leader turns over responsibility for decision-making and problem solving.
5. Consulting: low directive, very high supportive
It produces a very high commitment of people to decisions made by their leaders; this is
because they feel they have participated in the decision-making process. Because theyve
been consulted they buy in, they make the decision their own.
Relational Behaviour

(Consulting)
Quadrant 3

Quadrant 2

Supporting

Coaching

Quadrant 4

Quadrant 1

Delegating

Directing

Task Behaviour
Now plot yourself on the graph as you relate with various people and groups:

Adapted from Kenneth Blanchard, Leadership and the one minute manager (New York: William Morrow and
company, 1984)

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Write the name of the person (if applicable) from the following questions on the chart (page
31) in the appropriate place. We will relate differently according to the situation, but is there
a tendency to act in a certain quadrant too much?
1. Leadership in YWAM
a) Leadership or staff meetings
b) Individual oversight of people - do you have someone in each quadrant, or
are they all in the same one!!
c) Starting a new project with a team
d) Counselling someone
2. Working on a project with friends
3. In a leadership role in your church
4. At home with your spouse
a) Planning a holiday
b) Making decisions with regard to finance
5. At home with your children
a) Helping them with homework
b) Working through a conflict with ages 2, 9, 14, 19

Misconceptions about delegation7


Circle your answer
1. Always delegate to the team member who has experience with similar tasks.

T or F

2. The person you delegate to should have as much information about the task
as possible.

T or F

3. Controls should be built into a delegated task from the beginning.

T or F

4. In delegated tasks, monitoring the method is as important as getting the


desired results.

T or F

5. The crucial decisions involved in a delegated task are still considered the
territory of the delegator.

T or F

6. Always make the delegated task seem like a challenge even if it's drudgery.

T or F

7. Delegating means assigning work.

T or F

8. Don't offer advice when delegating.

T or F

9. Use the same procedures and systems of accountability with every


team member when delegating to avoid favouritism.

T or F

10. If a team member fails in a delegated task, do not delegate to him or her
again.

T or F

John Maxwell, Developing the leaders around you (Nashville, Tennessee: Thomas Nelson 1995)

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Answers:
1. False: If you repeatedly delegate similar tasks to the same people, they wont get
additional opportunities to grow. It also short-changes less experienced team members who
need a chance to develop.
2. True: The more background information you give the person who is about to do the task,
the faster and easier the delegating process works. For more experienced team members, you
may be able to provide some information and then give them ideas on how to obtain
additional information on their own.
3. True: Controls not only help prevent disaster, they also give you the confidence to
delegate.
4. False: This is one of the most common pitfalls of an inexperienced delegator. Results are
everything. Demanding that other people use your method can stifle initiative and creativity
needed for successful delegation.
5. False: This is another common mistake poor delegators make. With true delegation comes
the right and responsibility to make decisions.
6. False: Deceptive characterisation of delegated tasks insults team members. And it erodes
trust.
7. False: True delegation includes handing over the right and responsibility to determine
what work must be done, how it will be approached, and who will do it.
8. False: Let people handle tasks their own way, but give them as much advice (and vision)
as you think they need before they get started. Make yourself available to answer questions,
but don't constantly peer over their shoulders or solve their problems for them. Learning to
solve problems is part of the development process.
9. False: Tasks are different, and so are people. The difficulty of the task as well as the
experience and skill of the person must always be taken into account. When you delegate,
tailor the system of accountability to fit the delegatee.
10. False: Don't give up on a team member because of a single failure. It might be due to
circumstances beyond the person's control. The failure could even be a result of you method
of delegation. Examine what went wrong and why.

Scoring:
Give yourself one point for each correct answer.
9-10
6-8
5 or less

You're a top notch delegator.


You know the fundamentals, but keep learning.
You've uncovered a serious weakness in your leadership skills.

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Principles for effective delegation


1. What you CANT delegate
a. Your job. Therefore you need a clear definition of your job
b. What only you can do.
2. What you SHOULD delegate
a. What you cant do.
b. What others can do better.
c. What is not part of your goals and calling.
3. Pitfalls to delegation
a. Make sure that the one to whom you are delegating knows he or she is responsible
to do the job.
b. Make sure your instructions are clear and the task well defined.
c. Make sure he or she can do the job, or you are willing to let him or her fail.
d. Make sure you have given all the needed authority as well as the responsibility.
(It is still yours too!)
e. Try to put what is wanted in the form of a goal which he/she can own.
f. Establish links for accountability. e.g. meet once a month for evaluation and
feedback.
4. Levels of delegation - make it clear
a. Do it and dont report back
b. Do it and let me know what you did.
c. Let me know what you intend to do and go ahead and do it unless you hear from
me.
d. Let me know what you intend to do, but don't go ahead until you hear from me.
e. (when you have a decision that has implications beyond your remit) Investigate all
the available alternatives and make a recommendation to me as to what should be
done.

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Part 5 Appendices
Appendix 1. Speaker Assessment
1

Introduction: designed to grip


initial attention

Facial expression and body


language

Clear, systematic outline


Logical expression of thought

Ease of taking notes emphasising main points

Use of scripture: exposition,


thematic, biblical characters,
specific verses.
Exhortation: ability to inspire
specific action

6
7

Illustration & examples from the


bible, others and self

Holding interest - peaks &


troughs, variety, movement,
activity
Use of visual aids, hand outs,
multi-media.

9
10
11

Name ______________________

Simplicity of communication:
people can follow, understand
and apply
Voice control - speed, volume,
tone & inflection

12

Dramatic - movement, bringing


to life the concepts

13

Application of the message to


the group

14

Bringing conclusion: summary


of main points, have a take
away

15

Time: How long? Run over,


under or right on time?

16

Other comments:

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Appendix 2. Worship Assessment


1

Intro: Initial encouragement,


exhortation, stimulation

Facial expression and body


language

Involvement in modelling
worship as a leader

Bringing participation from the


group

Developing a theme through the


worship time

Use of scripture

Innovation or doing something


new to add variety

Communication with others


playing or involved
Use of silence

Name ___________________

10 Ability to exhort the group


11 Use of voice - starting songs,
throughout songs
12 Handling dryness or heaviness
in the group
13 Bringing response to prayers,
prophecies, other input.
14 Stimulating gifts of the spirit
and involvement
15 Mix of praise, worship and
spiritual warfare
16 Skill in singing/playing
17 Drawing to conclusion
18 Were people comfortable, know
where they were going
19 Use of climaxes
20 Highlights of the time

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Appendix 3. Leadership meetings evaluation


Criteria for evaluation

Evaluation

Setting agenda
Received beforehand? Everyone involved?
Additions in the meeting?

Integrated intercession
Praying through issues
Praying for decisions

Decision making process (d.m.p.)


Taking personal d.m.p. into account

Level of interaction
How many speaking on any one topic

Opportunity for pastoral accountability


Praying generally/specifically for individuals

Level of ownership on issues

Group roles in operation - pastoral,


summariser, closure, prophetic, process,
definer, seek opinion, testing feasibility

Time pressure
Rushed, good flow, heavy, going slow...

Time in the word of God


Time of input

10

Balance of problem solving, decision making


and future development

11

Environment of meeting

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Appendix 4. Evaluating Leadership


Interviewing people whom a leader leads!
Notes to Interviewer:
! This questionnaire has been designed to assist you to interview people in order to help
you evaluate their leader. It should be kept in mind that answers to the questions below
will not only help evaluate the leader, but also the person being interviewed.
! The questions have been designed mainly to help assess the quality of the leader's
relationships with other people particularly those in the group he or she is leading.
They will not be very useful for assessing the effectiveness of the leader's ministry
outside the group, such as pioneering or evangelism.
! Most of the questions are binary. Once the individual has answered yes or no, ask them
to explain.
Questions to ask:
1. Communication:
a. Do you have a good understanding of the vision of the work?
b. Do you know where you fit?
c. Do you think your leader understands what you do?
d. Are major decisions in the work adequately communicated to you?
2. Pastoral:
a. Does your leader show a sympathetic concern for you?
b. Do you think you have adequate time with your leader? Be realistic. What do you
consider a realistic time to be? Think in terms of both group and individual time.
Have you taken initiative to ask for time?
c. Are you growing in the Lord through you leader's input?
3. General character:
! Is your leader a good example to you in marriage and family?
! What character weaknesses do you see in your leader? What progress is your
leader he or she making toward overcoming these?
c. Is your leader sympathetic to other's needs and weaknesses?
d. Is your leader sometimes harsh or authoritarian?
4. Public ministry:
Do you have any comments on your leader's public ministry? i.e. speaking, leading,
worship, announcements, public relations?
5. Administration:
a. Does your leader seem to be organised?
b. Is your leader reliable?
c. Does your leader forget important commitments?
d. Is your leader punctual?
e. Do you know what your responsibilities are and have you been given adequate
authority to carry them out? Does your leader bypass you in these areas?
f. Are you reasonably clear on what decisions should be submitted to your leader and
what decisions you should make on your own?
6. Leadership style:
What leadership style does your leader usually exercise when relating to you:
directing, coaching, supporting, delegating, consulting?

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Appendix 5: Job outcome guidelines for all levels of leadership


These guidelines have been approved by the GLT as a means of helping YWAM leaders and
leadership teams to understand what outcomes (or results) they should be aiming for. No
individual leader could satisfy the entire range of outcomes, but our objective is to develop
teams that can aim for these standards. This is not a list of laws or requirements but the
guidelines should be used to lead us into greater effectiveness. Each leadership quality listed
is in alignment with YWAM foundational values and is consistent with the vision and goals
into which we have been led. Please use these guidelines prayerfully and lovingly as a means
of encouragement in your part of the family of ministries.
Spiritual Leadership - spiritual growth towards Christ likeness in all aspects of the mission
1. The YWAM values personally embraced, modelled by the leadership team and
imparted through the mission
2. An environment created for worship, intercession, freedom for the Holy Spirit and
openness to receive the word of the Lord
3. Commitment to seeking God, hearing his voice and following through in obedience,
personally and as a leadership team and encouraging those they serve to do the same
Visionary Leadership an environment developed for the initiating, adopting, birthing and
releasing of vision and ministry
4. The agreed words of the Lord/global vision processed through the GLT, lived out at
every level
5. An environment of faith and vision nurtured throughout the ministry
6. Ministry strategies birthed through prayerful processes with the community and
confirmed by the leadership team and communicated clearly to all
7. All staff encouraged, authorised and enabled to develop and execute ministry
8. Leaders released to establish new ministries in unpioneered areas
9. Proactive cooperation and partnership with the broader body of Christ
Relational Leadership functioning effectively in team and modelling care, support,
accountability and the development of leaders, staff, students, marriages and family
10. Unity and commitment to the local and global YWAM family encouraged through
regular visits to ministries by the leaders responsible for them, involvement in
gatherings of all YWAM staff and leaders and regular communication with them
11. The release and development of YWAM leaders through appropriate and timely
orientation, equipping, debriefing and delegating of responsibility and authority with
the right level of coaching
12. Encouragement and accountability to:
a. leaders who serve you and who you report to;
b. one another in the leadership team;
c. those you serve and who report to you
13. Different expressions of the family of ministries encouraged & appropriately linked to
leadership teams to enable communication, cooperation and coordination at all levels.
14. A leadership review initiated by the next higher level of leadership, on a regular basis
to spur on growth, communication and ensure right placement in ministry.
15. A leadership team functioning corporately through sharing responsibility and decision
making according to the complementary mix of giftings, strengths, ages, gender,
ethnic groups and family of ministries

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Operational leadership - Good stewardship of all the resources that God has entrusted to
the mission implementing the appropriate legal and financial processes and systems
16. Integrity and transparency in financial accounting systems and all legal matters
processed through leadership teams and legal boards as appropriate
17. Wise development and use of a legal board (that functions and develops according to
YWAM guidelines.)
18. A resource list of people available for mediation and arbitration purposes for quick
response to issues arising
19. Systems developed for aspects of the overall functioning of the mission as required.
For example: personnel, fund raising, staff care & development, communication,
public relations, health & safety issues, etc
Principal leader of the team

Establish the general point of contact

Convening meetings and formulating agendas

Taking responsibility for making sure the team is well chaired

Ensure representation from the leadership team for YWAM commitments, legal
boards, significant events

Facilitate accountability for the roles of all members of the leadership team

Other members of the leadership team report to this person

Maintain a broad heart for the whole vision of YWAM

Have an aptitude for all four of the roles above to enable understanding of what is
required

Responsible for seeing that team building takes place for the leadership team

Take primary responsibility for the recruiting of essential staff & leaders

A term of office of 5 years, that is renewable following a major review, is


recommended for base, national and regional roles for geographic and family of
ministry leaders.

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Appendix 7:

Base leaders check-list for oversight of school leaders

Plan to meet with the School leader about every two or three weeks. The first meeting should
be held well in advance of the start of the school. Set dates for subsequent meetings at this
time.
The questions below are suggestions only, but will help make the meeting more profitable. It
would help the school leader if the questions were discussed briefly before the school starts, so
that he/she knows what to expect.
A. Personal
1. What do you feel about your personal walk with the Lord?
2. What do you feel about your relationships with your family? If married, how much time do
you have weekly with your wife/husband alone; and each of your children alone?
3. How much relational time do you spend with close friends?
4. How are your personal finances?
5. In what ways are you getting a) personal and, b) family refreshment and recreation?
6. What personal struggles or issues would you like prayer for?
B. General school issues
1. Are there any difficulties in relationships between people on the school, or between you and
anyone else? How are you handling them?
2. In what ways are you maintaining a positive faith-imparting attitude and atmosphere in the
school?
3. How would you evaluate staff and school morale?
4. What priority and opportunities are you giving for staff development (including pastoral
issues)?
5. How would you measure your delegation of responsibilities? (Too little, too much)?
6. Are you accessible and visible to staff and students? (i.e. Inside and outside of the
classroom)?
7. Do you communicate adequately & clearly? In what ways could you improve?
8. How do you create feedback and discussion opportunities for:
a. students (individually and corporately)
b. school staff
c. speakers
9. Are you placing a priority on prayer with your staff for the school?
How often do you pray together for the school?
10. In what ways is this school fulfilling the three main goals of a DTS?
i) Discipleship ii) Missions iii) Orientation towards YWAM
11. What values, positive or negative, do you believe you are modelling in your personal
leadership style?
12. What contact time do you spend with the speakers? Is your hospitality warm and personal?
C. Releasing potential
1. Which students and staff are showing the greatest potential? Are they getting enough
opportunity to lead, e.g. in worship, intercession, bible study, outreach, etc.?
2. Who could be DTS leaders within two years given the right training, encouragement and
opportunities?
3. In what ways are you giving attention to coaching of staff and potential leaders?

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D. Recruiting
1. What specific opportunities of ministry within YWAM have been placed before the
students and staff?
2. Have you interviewed each student to ascertain their interests and gifting and tried to match
them up with staff needs within YWAM? - here or elsewhere?
E. Outreach
1. At what stage are the plans for the school outreach and the small team outreaches?
2. How do these outreaches fit into the focused nations of your base?
3. What outreach is being done during the lecture phase?
F. Finances
1. What is the financial situation of the school - lecture and outreach phases, students and
staff?
2. How would you assess the levels of faith and anxiety in the students and staff as related to
financial needs?
3. Do you encourage generosity, while still keeping an eye on the budget?
G. Next school
1. What teachers are planned for the next school? What plans do you have to ensure that all
essential topics are covered in the teaching - especially vision for missions and evangelism?
2. Who are you planning to have as school staff in the next school? What is your assessment
of their maturity level?
H. Debriefing
After the school is completed the school leader should meet with the Base leader or Council for
debriefing. This should primarily be for encouragement of the school leader, but also for a
time of evaluation, where the strengths and weaknesses of the school are discussed and plans
made for improvement.

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Appendix 8: Guidelines for oversight of base leaders


Using the guidelines
The purpose of this list is to provide guidelines for the meeting of base leaders and the
national or district leaders they report to. The objective is to encourage where
leadership is being done well, and to provide help or give advice where there are lacks.
1. Agree together on how often you should meet. Aim for about once every couple of
months. Set dates well ahead.
2. Discuss the guidelines together; decide on which items are appropriate for your
situation.
3. You will not have time to adequately discuss the whole list every time you meet, so
plan how you want to use it. You may want to mark some items for discussion every
meeting, others every six months or a year.
Introduction: General report of ministry. What's happening?
1. Personal
a. How is your personal relationship with the Lord?
b. How are your relationships with your family? If married, how much time weekly do
you give to your wife/husband alone? Each of your children?
c. What people have input into your life?
d. What people do you regard as close friends?
e. What do you feel about the level of your regular financial support?
f. In what ways are you getting personal and family refreshment?
g. What personal struggles or issues are causing you anxiety or pressure at the present
time? Would you like prayer for them?
2. Staff relationships and values
a. What are your current staff statistics: joining, leaving, national makeup, etc. (trends)?
b. What people do you have a mentoring relationship with, on the base? Outside the
base?
c. Which members of staff have the potential to be team leaders or base leaders etc,
given the right training, encouragement and opportunity? What strategy do you have
for developing them?
d. What is your base strategy for development & pastoral care of staff?
e. Are you aware of any staff i) under stress or, ii) having strained relationships at this
present time? How are you (or the base pastoral leaders) handling them?
f. How would you evaluate your communication on the base in the following areas?
(written and verbal!): Base ministry focus... local, national & international?
Community schedule? Staff and leaders travel plans? Staff birthdays and
anniversaries? Ministry opportunities? Prayer needs?
g. How would you evaluate staff morale?

h. How would you evaluate the quality of life on the base? i.e. strengths and weaknesses
of base life - accommodation, staff financial support level, recreation, worship,
intercession, depth of relationships, etc
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i.
j.

What is the word of the Lord for the base at this present time?
How frequently do you have staff retreats? How successful have they been?

3. Base ministry
A. Evangelism
a. How would you assess the effectiveness of outreach from your base in terms of
sowing, reaping and keeping (follow up)?
b. What styles of evangelism are you involved in?
B. Training
a. Do you feel that your school leaders are clear on their school objectives? If so, are
they obtaining them? e.g. releasing potential, recruiting for missions, etc.
b. In what ways are you ensuring that your school leaders are maintaining an
apprenticeship style of training? (i.e. people not programme oriented)
c. What strategies do you have for developing new school staff and leaders?
C. Local church involvement
a. What types of ministry are being carried out from the base into local churches?
b. How would you assess your recruiting ability in the churches for missions and
YWAM in particular? What literature is being used?
c. What is your strategy for training staff for communicating in the churches?
d. What feedback have you had from church leaders as to the effectiveness of your
ministry to them?
D. Mission focus
a. On what countries or major cities has the Lord given your base special focus when
sending outreach teams, etc?
b. What unreached people groups has your base focused on?
c. To what third world nations do you regularly send resources?
4. Base leadership team
a. How would you assess the level of personal concern of your Leadership Team
members for task or vision accomplishment?
b. How successful are your leaders in motivating staff toward vision accomplishment?
c. To what degree does your Leadership Team get bogged down in administrative
matters?
d. Are you and your Leadership Team clear about what decisions need to be referred to
the national or district director before being implemented at the base level?
e. What is your assessment of the relationships between members of the Leadership
Team?
f. It has been suggested that the three main functions of the Leadership Team include:
business, intercession for the work, and personal prayer for one another. How are you
doing in these three areas?
g. How often do you have a retreat with your Leadership Team? Have they been
effective?

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Appendix 9: Performance evaluation questions


As I think about my leadership role:

What leadership roles are you currently holding?


What % of time do you allocate to the role that enables you to have a seat on the
leadership team?
What % of time do you think is appropriate for this role?
What would be the key strategic goals that you have been working on for your
ministry during the last year and how will they change for this coming year?

What is the current word of the Lord to you as a leader?


What is the current word of the Lord you are sharing with other staff and leaders?

How are you managing to develop family, friends and ministry relationships?
What relational challenges are you facing?

How would you rate your passion for God, the anointing on your ministry and your
day to day walk with God?

What are you actively doing to encourage teamwork in your sphere of ministry?
What are the main blessings and challenges?

How are you developing leaders in your sphere of leadership and what plans do you
have for succession, taking into account the term limits guidelines?

One of the greatest stresses in leadership can be dealing with conflicts. What
unresolved issues or conflicts are you currently working through or need to as soon
as possible?

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Appendix 10: Evaluation of effectiveness for functioning in a


leadership team
Application: If you are in a number of leadership teams, go through the questions, using a different letter to
rate your performance for each leadership team. Eg G for GLT, F for field team, R for regional team, N for
national, B for base, etc.
1 = strongly disagree; 2 = disagree; 3 = neither agree or disagree; 4 = agree 5 = strongly agree
As we come together as a leadership team:
1
We take time to seek the Lord for his will and
intercede for the nations and ministries he has called
us to establish and elder
2

Vision is prayed through, processed, clarified and


clear goals are set to move the mission forwards

We continue to develop as a team and learn how to


work together with diversity of western & nonwestern, male & female, old and young and seek to
function in unity together
We are committed to ensuring that decisions which
are made are communicated to the right sphere of
people and implemented with the right processes

We can open our hearts and share personal and


ministry concerns and burdens with one another in
the team freely

We hold one another accountable in our leadership


responsibilities and founding values

We actively encourage leadership development and


prayerfully appoint and commission the appropriate
level of leaders

10

We are quick to share differences of opinion on


decisions & process rather than grumble about them
in the background. We are committed to openness
and transparency of process.
Where conflicts arise we are committed to work
them through toward reconciliation.

11

We learn more about Gods word, nature, character


and ways as we interact, reflect and debrief one
another and the major events taking place in the
mission.
We make time to hear the word of the Lord brought
to us from within or without the leadership team and
process its application

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Appendix 11: National/Base leader evaluation


Self leadership means you will be needing feedback on how you are performing in your ministry role. If you are a
national or base leader, the following process could be used with your team. You will need someone to coordinate
receiving the forms and giving feedback through an interview.

Base/Nation ___________________________ Name National/Base leader _________________


(optional) Person filling out form _____________________
All national/base leadership team members please complete and send to _____________ by ______

1. What have you appreciated about his/her leadership over this past year?

2. What would you see as his/her strengths of leadership?

3. What would you see as his/her weaknesses of leadership?

4. How have areas of weakness been covered or staffed?

5. How well has the leadership team functioned?

6. Have you had any struggles, frustrations or disappointments with his/her leadership? If so
please comment:

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Comment on the following areas of his/her leadership:
a. Development
Development & articulating vision

Strategy & implementation

b. Relational
Approachability

Servant heartedness

Leadership team building

Conflict resolution

c. Spiritual
Leadership of meetings

Ministry to leaders & staff

Hearing from God

d. Operations
Decision making, problem solving & planning

Communication

Organisation, day to day operations

Support of leaders

e. Other comments

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National/Base leader evaluation. Base/Nation _____________ Name________________
As the base/national leader, please fill out the questionnaire and send to _____________by_______

1. In what ways do you think your staff most appreciate you?

2. What would you see as your main strengths of leadership?

3. What would you see as your weaknesses of leadership?

4. How have you staffed your weaknesses?

5. In your opinion, how well has your leadership team functioned?

6. Have you had any struggles, frustrations or disappointments with your leadership or with
others under your leadership? Please comment:

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7. Comment on the following areas of your leadership:
a. Development
Development & articulating vision

Strategy & implementation

b. Relational
Approachability

Servant heartedness

Leadership team building

Conflict resolution

c. Spiritual
Leadership of meetings

Ministry to leaders & staff

Hearing from God

d. Operations
Decision making, problem solving & planning

Communication

Organisation, day to day operations

Support of leaders

e. Other comments

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Name _________________________ Date__________

6. What struggles,
frustrations or
disappointments have been
experienced?

5. How well has the


leadership team
functioned?

4. How are areas of


weakness being covered or
staffed?

3. Weaknesses of
leadership

2. Strengths of leadership

Aspect of leadership
1. Ways you are
appreciated

Team feedback

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Practical steps for action

Progress made by ______

(Team & personal feedback to be filled out by interviewer beforehand, steps for action during dialogue. Progress made to be filled out by the leader in 6 months/years time.)

National/Base Leader Feedback & Progress Plan

Practical Mentoring

leadership team building

conflict resolution

hearing from God

organisation, day to day


operations
support of leaders

e. Other comments

d. Operations
decision making, planning
problem solving
communication

ministry to leaders and staff

c. Spiritual
leadership of meetings

servant heartedness

b. Relational
Approachability

a. Development
developing & articulating
vision
strategy & implementation

Aspect of leadership

Team feedback

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Practical steps for action

Progress made by ______

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Appendix 12. Giving and receiving feedback


One thing for certain is that mentoring relationships that are producing growth will involve
feedback and so a skill for giving and receiving feedback needs to be developed.
The Purpose of feedback
! Mastering the art of giving and receiving feedback helps each other to tell the truth.
! Feedback highlights personal or organisational blind spots. Feedback is information
that lets us know whether we are on the right track.
! God often uses others to highlight blind spots dont just wait for a direct word from the
Lord! The way we listen to others is closely related to how well we listen to God.
! Feedback is a gift.
! Feedback honours competence and reinforces behaviour you are looking for and lets
people know where to take corrective action.
! Feedback helps to build a foundation of trust and transparency in relationships.

The Potential of feedback


!
!

Character development.
Increase in the level of trust, influence, transparency, authenticity and openness in the
relationship. Relationships are the most valuable asset a leader or organisation has.

Hindrances to giving feedback


!
!
!
!

Fear, immaturity, selfishness.


Difficulty with authority or correction. Proverbs 15:5; 17:10
Lack of accountability.
Isolation.

Guidelines for giving feedback


Check Motivation
! Phil 2:3-4
Examine Relationship
! Ask yourself whether you have the relationship to give the feedback? If not, work
towards developing a strength of relationship.
! Care more about the other person and the relationship than about your fears and the risks.
! Have the courage to be vulnerable and take a risk. A new level of trust will be built.
Preparation
Have the patience to think and plan your gift of feedback. Proverbs 29:20
Never give feedback when you are feeling emotional, reactive or frustrated.
Have the wisdom to wait for the optimum time, place and occasion. Proverbs 12:16
Determine the best place and time: Praise in public, criticise in private.
Make sure it is timely, specific and directed towards something that is changeable.
Give people something that is tangible.
! Get the information you need and rehearse sharing it.
! You cannot be responsible for a persons response to feedback but you do have a
responsibility to minimise the risks of an adverse reaction. Romans 14:13
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Practical Mentoring
4. Presentation
! Always start by giving positive feedback before giving corrective feedback.
! Put the feedback in context and explain the impact.
! Affirm the relationship before and after giving feedback.
! Use I messages. Speak for yourself.
! Focus on what you see, not on what you believe. Use specific examples.
! Focus on behaviour, not on personality.
! Separate the person from the problem or issue.
! Keep the feedback neutral, dont make judgements.
! Use it to inform, not to advise.
! Make it supportive, not threatening.
! Keep it slow, simple and clear.
! Share your observations as concerns, not disappointments or frustrations. Discuss
mistakes as learning opportunities.
! Give up the right to be right.
! Dont inflict feedback.
5. Listen
! Listen with open ears endeavouring to understand (i.e. hear) the other persons point
of view.
! Dont agree or disagree; just be curious and gather information.
6. Engage in dialogue
! Allow time for the person to respond.
7. Plan for action
! If the other person needs time to process the feedback, then schedule a follow-up meeting.
! The past has gone and you want things to improve in the future.
8. Acknowledge
! Thank the person and acknowledge what you have accomplished together. Perhaps
simply a new level of transparency or authenticity in communication and relationship.

Guidelines for receiving feedback


1. Be prepared
! In season and out of season.
2. Listen with humility
! Think about the process of giving feedback and identify with the other person.
! Listen beneath the words.
! Do not respond to the feedback immediately. Proverbs 17:28
! Dont defend yourself! If you want feedback from others, you must accept what
others tell you is true from their vantage point. At the first sign that you are defending
your actions, others may stop telling you the truth. Remember that feedback is not a
demand for action, but information that you can use if you choose.

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