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What made them see eye to eye?
Matt Pannell Editor
he Conservative MP for Guildford and the President of the National Union of Students spoke out together on Monday night against the Government’s proposed university tuition fees, at a public meeting held in the University Hall. For years, the two organisations have been in dispute over funding for Higher Education, yet the two men turned out to have plenty of common ground in opposing the current plans. Nick St Aubyn, who has represented Guildford since the general election in May, said that the funding crisis in higher education “will get even worse....we can’t carry on like that.” Douglas Trainer, President of the National Union of Students attacked the Conservatives for having caused the cash shortage in the first place, but had some fierce criticism for the Labour Party, too, branding the Government “dead stupid” for introducing the proposals. Asked what realistic chance he stood of getting the proposals overturned by lobbying MP’s, he admitted that “our ability to get a revolt with a government majority of 170 is very limited.” Other speakers included a repreentative from the local Liberal Democrat Party, John Vincent, who in turn claimed that his party, too, was “100 % united against the imposition of fees.” He said that the new scheme “will discourage students from taking up courses all around the country....Another aspect that I find particularly disagreeable is that a lot of New Labour MP’s are graduates themselves, and in doing this, they are turning their tales on the next generation.” The organisers of the meeting, which was supposed to have ‘brought together any members of the local community affected by fees’, were disappointed at the very low turnout. Less than twenty people turned up to hear the speakers, leaving rows of seats unfilled (left).
Friday 31st October 1997
Nick St.Aubyn,, Conservative MP for Guildford (above)
And does anybody care?
Douglas Trainer , NUS President,
Meningitis hits Southampton University halls
niversity chiefs and Government health advisers were on Tuesday trying to cope with an outbreak of meningitis in a Southampton University residence complex. Antibiotics and vaccinations are being given to students in the Wessex Lane Halls, following a fourth suspected case of the potentially fatal disease. The Health Education Authority has begun an advertising campaign in response to the outbreak, whilst stressing that instances have so far been confined to a relatively small area.
Empty chairs at Monday’s Tuition Fees meeting
Dearing Special, Features Page 3....
n n n News 1 Features 3 Letters 4 n n Cinema and Arts 8 Union News 9
n Music 6 Notices & Personals
Entertainments Guide 7 . n 9 Sports 11 .
Friday 31st October 1997 n
ualified drimax. permitted in Tania Rocks France, the vers could be made to Netherlands, Austria retake their driving tests every 10 and Greece. years, if new EC regulations come Ministers in this country appear to into force. Anyone who fails the be against the scheme, saying that it should be left to the courts to deal test would loose their licence. Members of the European with dangerous drivers. The AA is Parliament believe that retaking also against the plans as it says that tests would reduce the number of it does not address the people who road accidents. 45,000 people are cause the majority of accidents, the killed on Europe’s roads every year young drivers. Drivers who notch and MEPs argue that this scheme up 6 penalty points in 2 years of would mean that drivers would have gaining a full driving licence face a to correct bad and sometimes dan- re-test due to recent changes in gerous driving habits. This scheme British law. It should also be noted is in connection with plans to that despite the AA concerns about reduce the drink-drive limit to a young drivers, Britain has the lownew EU- wide limit of 50mg per est road accident death rate in the 100ml, meaning that you can only EU, the roads are 7 times safer that safely have a pint of beer or two in Greece (which has the worst glasses of wine. This is already the record).
Van Gogh A Fake!
n 1987 a Japanese firm bought Vincent Van Gogh’s famous depiction of sunflowers for £24.75 million from Christie’s auction. The painting was supposedly painted by Van Gogh in 1888, just a few years before his death in 1890. In a television documentary, art writer Geraldine Norman stated that she believed that an obscure Parisian art teacher, Claude-Emile Schuffenecker, was the artist behind this version of the sunflowers. Ms Norman is certain that the art teacher painted one of three which depict 14 sunflowers. Van Gogh in his letters wrote about three ver-
sions, one with three flowers, one with five and two with twelve. The version with 14 sunflowers was never mentioned in his letters, although all seven paintings are attributed to him. The piece itself is a masterpiece, and has fooled experts for a long time, having been exhibited from 1901. It is thought that Schuffenecker may have got his inspiration from restoring Van Gogh’s original version, which now hangs in the National Gallery, London. Schuffenecker may not have been
limited to faking Van Gogh’s, he may have also faked Gauguins and Cezannes. If this is so, the prices of so called masterpieces may be greatly affected. Fakes do achieve respectable prices (around £45,000), but neither the Seiji Togo Yasyda Kasai Museum of Art or the Japanese insurance company which purchased the painting have much to say on this matter. It seems ironic that Van Gogh, the troubled painter, who was not able to sell his painting during his life, had his work forged so soon after his death, and that it went for such an unbelievable sum.
he Silly Night Merry Pranksters want you all to know that Wednesday Week 9 November 5th is FIRESTARTER NIGHT. The President has also asked me to tell you all that this does not mean you can set fire to the building, any part of it or any people in it - as if! SILLY FIRESTARTER NIGHT, 7pm - 11pm, double and mixer £1 if, and only if, you bring a firework. All fireworks, conforming to EC standard Prodigy 2.43D (i.e. not some shoddy stuff you made in your room or picked up off the back of a lorry), will be handed in at the front door and checked by the Fire Safety Officer. In exchange, you will receive a FIRESTARTER card which will entitle you to doubles for £1 all night and all fireworks will be kept for the grand FIRESTARTER FIREWORK DISPLAY by the lake, with jacket pota-
toes, coleslaw, and various other nibbly bits.RAG Sparklers will be available.The more people who bring fireworks the better the display. And your name(s) will be announced before your firework goes up so remember your pride is at stake. Dress like a firework, dress like the Prodigy, come as a door (think about it). whatever you wear, remember remember the 5th of November and bring some fireworks. A note from the attorney at law: Take care. This is the first event of its kind to take place here, and if anyone puts himself or others at risk through careless use of fireworks, it will be the last. Fireworks should only be carried in their original boxes, and in any case will will only be accepted if safely packaged. From: The Fool
Rag Week Beer Drinking Competition
Wendy Bowater (Rag Chair)
ll those who came along to this event know what a good time everyone had, witnessing the records being broken. Fastest blokes pint was Rob at an astounding 2.2 seconds, beating the record set last year of 2.6 secs. Fastest birds pint was Bernie at 5.8 seconds, beating the record set last year of 2.6 secs. Fastest 2 pints was Rob.H. taking 7.2 seconds, not quite matching the time he set last year of 6.53 secs. Fastest stout was taken by Andy, taking 2.6 seconds, again breaking the record set from last year of 3.2 secs. Mech Eng. deigned us with their presence and beat both the rugby and football boat race teams, coming through with a time of 30.6 seconds to down 8 pints one after the other. It never looked so easy as they beat the time set last year by the rugby club (33.6 secs). The female rugby team did not let the side down however, by winning the fastest female boat race with a time of 1minute 23 seconds. The fastest wibbly-wobbly was Jason, taking 20 seconds to spin around a mop handle 10 times, then running to the table and downing his beer. The awesome beer shower made its return, holding five pints of beer to be forced (through gravity alone) down the contenders throat. Tom returned to better his time of last year (which was astonishingly 14.9 secs) and he succeeded! He completed the challenge in 14 seconds. Will this man not be matched?
The Austin Pearce Building as decorated fpr RAG
For those of you who saw the most disgusting and erotic pint, it is something you wont forget for a long time. Erotic pint saw a bloke strip off to pour a pint down his chest for some brave woman to catch it from underneath his genitalia! Disgusting pint (performed by the OLD Rag Chair and Vice-Chair)was similar, but instead of pouring the beer down the chest, it was poured down his back, for the other one to drink it from underneath!! The groans were heard for miles! An event not to be forgotten, especially considering the cattle market success half way through (I’m sure the slaves wont forget it for a while!)
I would personally like to thank Dickon for being excellent as a compare; the Rag Committee and Volunteers for timing, writing scores on boards and handling the beer; Jez and Dwain for making the beer shower; to Crew; and to everyone who took part. Oh, and cheers for the gunge guys, I’m sure I’ll never forget that. What a storming night!
Friday 31st October 1997
FEES WEEK: THE DEARING PAGE
A special feature prepared for Bare Facts by Samantha Birmingham, Andy Gale, Sophie Rocks, Alex Cass, and Rob Dorey
Should industry share the financial burden for higher education?
Some of the fastest growing and most successful companies today are those which depend not on plant and machinery but on intellectual capital. If this country is to remain internationally competitive in the 21st century, we need to invest in our people, mirroring the investment in fixed capital and equipment of the past.” (DfEE Website).
These comments by David Blunkett, Secretary of State for Education and Employment lead to one very important question and that is why British Industry has not been asked to contribute to the improvement of the UK system of Higher Education when, by Blunkett’s own admission, it gains so much from it. What is doubly perplexing is the fact that many of
the companies Blunkett refers to actually sit on University Governing bodies persons and others, such as Dr Keith Taylor the Chairman and Chief Executive of ESSO UK plc, are members of the Higher Education Funding Council for England (HEFCE). Our own University has named its new building after an industrial leader (Sir Austin Pearce) and,
given the influence that industry must exert on Higher Education as a consequence of its involvement’s, it seems more than unfair that a partnership approach to funding has not been adopted. Industry affects the content of University courses, it all but dictates the skills which we develop as a consequence of our time here, why then are students alone being called upon to shoulder
an increased financial burden. One thing seems clear and that is that the weakest bargaining group has been given the heaviest financial burden to shoulder and with this the overriding priority of the Dearing Report, to widen participation may soon be undermined.
The Nuts and Bolts
1. TUITION FEES
For all UK and EU students starting full-time higher education from Autumn 1998, the student, or the student’s family, will be required to pay the University up to £1,000 a year towards the cost of their tuition. This payment will be means tested. Loans or grants will not be available from the Government to pay for the tuition fee contribution. Tuition fees are payable in respect of all years of ‘sandwich’ courses, including periods spent on professional training. The fees are again means tested, and the maximum contribution for most students on a professional training year will be £500.
Learning From Australia Do Tuition Fees Really Affect Participation?
ustralian student application numbers have decreased by 30% since the introduction of increased Higher Education fees this year. In 1989 in response to the rapid expansion of student numbers and the decrease in the amount of funding per student, the Australian Government introduced its Higher Education Contribution Scheme (HECS). This required students to contribute to the cost of their Higher Education at a flat rate levy of around 23% of average tuition costs with students having contribution payments deferred until they reached earnings of the annual average income or above. Money collected went to the Higher Education System. With the principle of free
2. LIVING COSTS
The intention behind the Governments scheme is that we move from the current mix of loans and means tested LEA maintenance grants to a loans-only system where the level of loan available will be income-related. To soften the blow for next years’ entrants (1998/99) the Government intends a transitional arrangement (a smaller, means-tested maintenance grant, and a bigger loan for all who want it) for that academic year only. From 1999/2000, students will be expected to be self financed by means tested student loans, and a maintenance grant will not be available.
education demolished, the flat rate tuition fee was replaced by three bands of levy corresponding to the students’ degree course in January 1997. The NCIHE report records these levys as Arts and Humanities fees (including Education and Nursing) which increased by 35%; Maths, Sciences, Engineering and Economics which increased by 92%; and the Clinical and Law options (including Dentistry and Veterinary Science) which increased by 125%. These increases have led to the current costs (as of 26th October) being $3300, $4700, and $5500 respectively. These charges brought a fall in applications of 30% in applications. Yet, the Australian Government did not completely abolish means-test-
ed maintenance grants when it introduced tuition fees, unlike Labour’s proposals for Britain. But the eligibility requirements for financial assistance have been tightened with the changes to the tuition fees. Not only do researchers predict that these recent changes have “left something of a financial black hole for young people aspiring to attend University who do not come from well-off families”, but Federal Education Department figures indicate that , since the introduction of tuition fees in 1989 there has only been a 0.1% increase of the number of students entering Universities from the lowest social economic category. So, can Britain learn from these changes?
Think about it: food for thought
his years first year undergraduates are the last Higher Education students ever to be in receipt of a free education. In future academic years, students will face a fee of £1000 per academic year to cover tuition and loans of approximately £3000 per year to assist with living costs. You may not be too troubled by these proposals, you may think they are entirely reasonable, after all the individual student is the greatest beneficiary of their education, but think about it; How are you going to stop the tuition fee levy from rising in the future? Whilst the fee does not cover the entire cost of tuition at present there are no safeguards to prevent future Governments passing measures to ensure that students bear the full cost of their tuition fees. Secondly, is the system of means testing parents for
If You Think Its Too Early To Save, Think Again!
Assembly Point: Main Entrance to New College in Southampton (A33) @ 12.45pm. Rally Begins at 2.30 p.m. in Hoglands Park.
Two coaches will be transporting University of Surrey students to the event. We will be picking students up from Hazel Farm at 10.30am and from Senate House at 11am. Please arrive early to ensure as seat as they will be given out on a first come first served basis.
the tuition fee fair? If it is students that you wish to see facing greater costs for their education then there is no sense in means testing their parents. Agree with this statement and it leads to a question about why it was that Dearing did not choose to recommend a graduate tax. With a graduate tax students are all hit equally hard and there’s no way that more affluent students can get out of it by having daddy pull out his cheque book. You never know you could also ask those who have already had a University education to contribute to it as well. That way good old Tony Blair can’t be accused of pulling the ladder up after him. Think about it and join us on Saturday November 1st in Southampton to protest against the Governments proposals. Be there, or pay later!
Tell Uncle Tony......
Our agony uncle, Uncle Tony, answers your concerns about being a student.......
ear Uncle Tony, You say that because I will be earning a higher salary when I get my degree, I should stop sponging off the tax payer and pay my own way. If this is so, why is it all means-tested on what my parents earn now? Uncle Tony says: Look, it’s simple. In this New Britain of ours, everyone loves each other, and the bond between parent and child grows ever stronger (though not as strong as we would like, because we are still working to the previous government’s figures on this matter). The end result is that when, like me, you are earning so much that you will have to refuse your next pay rise, you will be able to chuck a couple of quid your mum & dad’s way. And I’m sure they’d love it if you could pop round every now and then for a cup of tea and a garibaldi. Dear Uncle Tony, And another thing, if I’m earning more, won’t I be paying more tax anyway? Yours, Disgruntled Dan from Dorking (again) Uncle Tony says: Don’t get clever with me, sunshine. There’s no place for clever people in New Britain.
Yours, Disgruntled Dorking
Friday 31st October 1997 n
Student Initiatives Officer
The University Educational Liaison Centre is seeking applicants for the above post. If you would like to gain: -An ability to help students develop their skills -Managerial, PR, and Marketing Experience -The chance to deal with Industry, Business, Students’ Unions, and Large -Organisations across the country -Responsibility from day one...... -Then this could be the job for you! For more information contact Mrs Maggie Melhuish, Personnel Office, 7th Floor, Senate House. Ext: 9370. Closing date: 7th November
Pizzas: The final word
In reply to Simon Rose’s Big whinge, we, as happy members of the Pizza + workforce, feel the need to bitch back! Firstly, what gives him the right to make such a gross assumption as to say that the staff are demoralised? Secondly, since all the staff, with the exception of the very patient supervisor Alvin, are themselves students, we find it hard to believe that students are ‘hated’ at Pizza +. Thirdly, in
reply to the suggestion that only one person ‘sings the praises’ of Pizza +, if this is the case why is it that we have so many regular customers? In response to the suggestion that students take responsibility for the running of Pizza +, this has in the past been attempted, resulting in it becoming unhygenic, inconsistent, apathetic and unprofessional as well as it losing money. At least now a substantial profit is made which is used to benefit the students by subsidising clubs, ents and the minibuses which run from the night-clubs
etc.etc. The point which we feel we must emphasise most strongly is that the customers are treated with the respect which they deserve. What else is to be expected of staff when the place is full of drunk, inpatient, insulting idiots who treat staff with no respect at all. We too are students and do not work at Pizza + in order to be treated as verbal punching bags. Finally, if you are dissatisfied with the service, you do have the option of withdrawing your custom. Name and address supplied.
But What DO Dancers Do.......
kay, in this short space I intend to put the record straight. Your university has a dance department, (one of the most eminent in Europe no less) and this is what we do. But perhaps we should go into what we don’t do...
Misconception number One;
“So, you just dance around in leotards all day then?”
...No. We do not dance around all day. And the image of lycra, tights, flesh (lots of flesh) and high kicks is truly a false one (sorry lads). Practical dance lessons take up around 50% of our timetable, which is quite a hefty one. What with extra
classes, rehearsals and fitness training, we are a busy bunch! For all the people at FNO who have doubted our skill-we are proberbly too knackered! Because the course has a strong emphasis on culture (it is in fact BA (hons) Dance and Culture), we have the option to study four techniques; contemporary, ballet, african and kathak, a classical indian form. We are the first department in dance to offer such a culturally diverse programme, which also extends into our theoretical study of social dance forms, which does include what we all do on a Friday Night Out.....
Anita Ewing essays, do you?”
...By the time dancers get to the final years, this question becomes rare-that is because you never see us to ask because we are locked away writing those essays. Of course we write essays, this is an academic course in an academic university. Our subjects range from dance history and criticism, notation (have a look at Labanwriter on the Macs) arts policies, and teaching strategies. On the way, we look at gender issues, language, politics, sociology (yep, we know all about Foucault) semiology, anthropology, technology, because what we deal with here is the body and all that it means. Imagine reading Shakespeare, and
Misconception Number Two;
“But you don’t write
all the issues it raises. Well, we read the body, and that raises a lot of issues too. So now I’m getting carried away. Which is quite a good plus-we dancers enjoy what we do. In the final year, choroegraphy forms a big chunk of the degree for those who opt it. Far from simply making up pretty dances (although they do look nice) the whole process is about organiastion, problem solving, leading, following through ideas. And we get to experience all these employer friendly assets in our tracky bums, in a studio, by leading figures in the dance world. The dance world I speak of is, in fact, part of this one
and not, as some like to think, next to Planet Zog or whatever. The department does have showings of student/professional work. SO WHERE ARE YOU ALL? Come and see our work. Come and dance in our pieces. We get a bigger audience to really show our stuff to. You get to see what we wear, how we dance, and what us dancers ‘really” do Watch this space.............
Friday 31st October 1997
Come a Little Bit Closer
Closer - Lyttleton Theatre, South Bank, London.
loser originally played in the Cottesloe Theatre but has transferred to the Lyttleton Theatre until mid November. The play was written in 1995 by Patrick Mauber specifically for the National Theatre. The story follows the love lives of four Londoners who meet in quite unusual circumstances. The four characters interact with each other in a very unreserved way both face to face and in a very impressive dialogue conducted over the internet - this was probably the highlight of the play. The complex nature of the characters was portrayed well but the excessive use of sexual references obscured the intricacies of the relationships the characters undertook. The props used in the play were very minimal but were well chosen because they immediately suggested the location. This was enhanced by the ambient sounds which created the background hum of London well. Overall I enjoyed watching Closer but I would be cautious about recommending it. The blatant style of the script could offend the English reserve. The cast of the play are Sally Dexter, Neil Dudgeon, Mark Strong and Liza Walker Season runs until 12 November 1997, student standby tickets are available on the day for £7.00.
Phot: Hugh Glendinning
A Life Less Ordinary (15)
exactly the best, nor confident kidnapper, but he does succeed...with the help of his victim! As it turns out, Celene hates her father even more than Robert and has plans to extract as much money from him as possible. The contempt that initially exists between the pair slowly erodes as the film progresses and Celine constantly turns down frequent opportunities to escape, offering Robert advice on how to best contain her. Contempt turns to respect and respect turns to, well I’m sure you know the rest already. Trainspotting this is not. Neither is it as dark, slick or powerful as last year’s masterpiece - this film has ‘feel good’ written all over it. This means that it doesn’t work as well as it could have done. You miss the fast paced, honed to perfection dialogue. The story line bounces to and fro and at points gets quite confused with itself. There is also a pointless all singing, all dancing scene, clearly demonstrating that there is no fear of Diaz exploring a musical career. That said, this is a great romantic comedy, with the novelty that the normal roles have been reversed. McGregor is dappy and dare I say it, sweet, whereas Diaz is strong, confident and just oozes sex. Both work well together, sharing obvious onscreen chemistry. Forget the films that proceeded this, forget the hype surrounding it and see A Life Less Ordinary for what it really is...and don’t forget to watch the end credits. 6/10
Cameron Diaz, Ewan McGregor, Holly Hunter
ow do you follow up the pitch black humour scattered throughout Shallow Grave and Trainspotting - two of the best films (note the absence of the word British) of the past three years? With an upbeat, light-hearted comedy, that’s how. Take the star of your mega hits, transport him to the States, introduce a sex siren and let nature take its course. This is exactly what fails to happen. Holly Hunter and Delroy Lindo are angels, sent to earth on a do or die mission to attempt to make spoilt society bitch Celine Naville (Diaz) to fall in love with lowly cleaner Robert (McGregor). Having lost his job, his lover and his house in the space of one day, Robert is understandably a bit low, low enough to kidnap Celine, the daughter of his rich ex-employer Mr Naville (Ian Holm). Not having done this before, Robert is not
ASH - A Life Less Ordinary (Infectious) Ash have been very quiet for the past year. Nice to know they’re out there recording somewhere, and with a new guitarist Charlotte Hatherley. ‘A Life Less Ordinary’, the song of the film, is not one of their best efforts. I personally prefer the b-side song ‘Where Is Our Love Going’. A pretty good single, but I’m still not too taken by it. 7/10 E.C. THE SOUNDTRACK OF OUR LIVES - Mantra Slider (Coalition) That band has a very original style which can vary from a song to the other. The whole follows a psychedelic line drawn somewhere in-between the Stooges and Velvet Underground. Quiet chaotic music but it does convey a strong feeling. 7/10 T.V. ECHO AND THE BUNNYMENDon’t Let It Get You Down (London) This their third single to be taken from their comeback album ‘Evergreen’. It’s a good, radio friendly, mid paced catchy song. It just seems that they are a long way off from how good they used to be and also how good they think they are now. 7/10 N.W. ASIAN DUB FOUNDATION Naxalite (Ffrr) Jungle meets ragga in an indie Audioweb style! ‘Naxalite’ is a song about an uprising of landless peasants in the 1960s in Bengal. By the end it has crashed through all the pseudopolitical clichés of music with lyrics including, “take the power”, and, “we will rise again”. Musically sound but poorly delivered lyrically. 6/10 A.T. GOD’S BOYFRIEND - Pond (Trade 2) The evening session will love them. Scottish, spunky and with a splendid name. They sound like Feeder and Belly and the singer’s voice is divine on the flipside acoustic-esque tracks. Maybe not very original but the kids can play and make a fine contribution to the latest pool of indiekid bands. 6/10 H.B. HIS NAME IS ALIVE - Nice Day (4AD) This single is pretty unremarkable, middle of the road stuff. It is music that always seems to be in the background and not the foreground. Every track reminds me of another song. The last two tracks ‘Come’ and ‘Man’ are the best because they sound more jazzy. 6/10 G.T.
Friday 31st October 1997 n
LADYSMITH BLACK MAMBAZO - Inkanyezi Nezazi (A&M) Okay, so you feel really bloody stupid when the Heinz ad comes on and you feel like crying, don’t you? Well now you can own this beautiful and soul cleansing piece of music and hear it alone, without a baked bean in sight. Utterly divine. 10/10 A.M. ARMIN - Blue Fear (Xtravaganza) This was pleasant on the ears, the nowfamiliar Balearic style of house music presented in four marvelous mixes, of which the second ‘Extended Mix’ is my favourite, taking you on a journey through thumping bass-lines and Balearic samples into the techno side of house. 10/10 M.B. BLACK GRAPE - Get Higher (Radioactive) Sizzling return for the ‘Grape, employing subtle drug references and ex-presidents of the USA to add vocal texture to a highly relaxing tune. B-sides continue in this vein to prove that Black Grape are able to survive without the musical marvel of Bez. 9/10 D.J.
SLEATER-KINNEY - Dig Me Out (Matador) In the early nineties there was Riot Grrrl. Riot Grrrl was a movement featuring all girl bands who made up for their lack of talent with lots of distortion and general noise. Come forward to 1997 and we have Sleater-Kinneys’ third album, ‘Dig Me Out’. This album is fast (no song longer than four minutes!) and punky. They shout! They scream! Actually, they are really good. Unlike many of their contemporaries (Veruca Salt and Hole being the most obvious two) Sleater-Kinney continually deliver quality songs throughout the album. With songs about destruction, heartbreak, partying, and a million other things Sleater-Kinney could be the surprise success of the year. 9/10 A.T. COMMON - Resurrection (Epic) Something cool comes our way in the hip-hop scene!! Common, a Chicago based MC brings something quite different to the table: attitude for starters!! “I don’t just want to show the problem” he states, “I want to offer a solution...” And while this album isn’t exactly revolutionary, its jazzy and soulful grooves are miles ahead of many others... excellent. 9/10 G.C. REGURGITATOR - Tu Plang...Kon Uauk (Coalition) A really rather original band, in the form of a three piece from Brisbane who are master crossover craftsmen. Overall they maintain a kind of Foo Fighters/Chili Peppers feel, but that’s too simplistic. Loud guitars get laced with all manner of styles which makes them very difficult to define, other than being yummy and far outshining many of the homegrown punkas trying to be this good. I refuse to call anything alternative, due to semantic reasons and bloodymindedness, but this may just tempt me. Xfm listeners will be familiar with Regurgitator and on the strength of this we all will be by next year. Definitely worth the time to listen to it. 8/10 H.B. FOREST FOR THE TREES - Forest For The Trees (Dreamworks) This is really something for the sane, clever and the inspired peoples out there. The opening track ‘dream’ puts you in the mood....and when the album progresses on to ‘infinite cow’ you know your onto a winner. Behind all the flamenco beatbox and swirling Indian harmonic flavours there is a more simple but serious reasoning. Carl Stephenson toys with parallel universe theory and the fusion of pop with environmental sensations. The album is terrific, I won’t be putting it down for a long while. 8/10 I.U.
ALBUM OF THE WEEK
V/A - What’s Up Matador (Matador) Both Guided By Voices and Tobin Sprout are represented on ‘What’s Up Matador’, the stupendous 2CD compiled by indie titan Matador Records - the spiritual home of underground GUIDED BY VOICES rock. The first disc is labelled best-of, and it’s amazing, when I listen to these 24 tracks, from as many artists, all at once, what a coherent aesthetic Matador has managed to cultivate. Examined from some angles, the PIZZICATO FIVE Japanese kitsch-pop band Pizzicato Five, the esoteric Canadian duo Mecca Normal, the seemingly immortal British post-punk cynics The Fall and the Scottish fuzz-pop band Teenage Fanclub seem very different, but a pervasive strangeness unifies them. The second disc, with 20 previously unreleased tracks, is there to justify your expenditure should you decide to buy this wonderful compilation. GbV’s ‘My thoughts Are a Gas’ is jangly reassuringly whole, Tobin Sprout’s ‘Small Parade’ is gentle and lilting, Liz Phair’s ‘Stuck on an Island’ is surprisingly elegant and folkish. What else can I say except it’s endlessly, endlessly charming! 10/10 D.A. CHUMBAWAMBA - Tubthumper (EMI) Chumbawamba have been rocketed into superstardom by ‘Tubthumping’ a pub drinking anthem that had the whole country in flames over the summer. I’ve always been a bit suspect of albums which have the best song first, what the rest of it like? Crap usually, but in Chumba’s case its not true. The whole album is a great bland of techno, indie and whatever else wandered into the studio that day. ‘Smalltown’ and ‘The Big Issue’ and great efforts and confirm the great quality of the album. 8/10 F.F. FEEDER - Polythene (Echo) When I first heard ‘High’, I became addicted, the soft vocals and catchy tune made me want to hear more. When I heard the album however I was frankly disappointed, as although the album is good, and in places (for example ‘Descend’), sparkles with similar effervescence, it is impossible to listen to their indie/ rock meanderings without comparing them to the single. However not all is dismal and gloomy as I feel that with listening to ‘Polythene’ more, it could grow on me. 8/10 D.N.
SINGLE OF THE WEEK
ABRA MOORE - Strangest Places (BMG) Anyone who has a problem with lyrics would like this album. It’s crammed full of ooh’s, ah’s, hey’s and yeah’s. Abra is not afraid to experiment with different and unusual sounds in her backing tracks. Sometimes this works. Sometimes it doesn’t. 5/10 G.T. TOENUT - Two In The Piñata (Mute) The album gets off to a promising start with a couple of poppy guitar fueled tracks that sound vaguely like The Levellers (but nowhere near as good); but after a while the whole thing flops. It all sounds the same. 5/10 G.C. PIZZICATO FIVE - Happy End Of The World (Matador) Hah, ha, ha, ha, These teeny popsters are back, after last years ‘Quickie’ EP. They sound like Bis or should it be Bis sound like them? If you like high pitched singing over dull dancey music then this should be right up your street. If not, avoid. 4/10 F.F. V/A - Camp Skin Craft (Now Wave) A sampler of American Punk/new wave music, a wide selection of punky indie rock, but after 33 tracks they all tend to blur, in fact none of them stand out. 4/10 F.F. BIO.COM - Coming Up For Air (Peepshow) I feel depressed. When you hope for a Pink Floyd style breakthrough, you are instead given a piece of some of the most unimaginative and dull house music on the planet (probably). At least the front cover’s cool. 4/10 A.M. BT - ESCM (Perfecto) Unfortunately, despite some very clear and calculated efforts to make this a groundbreaking, boundary crossing record, it winds up confused and awkward. 3/10 A.M. CITIZEN’S UTILITIES - No More Medicine (Mute) Continuing a long line of Middle America pop wannabes. The variety on the album would be very impressive if REM hadn’t covered all those bases ten years ago. 3/10 J.B. V/A - A Life Less Ordinary (A+M) A very cheesy and pointless trash can type album full of mediocre tracks from people who can do better than this. Try before you buy! 2/10 G.T. ROC - Virgin (Virgin) Errmm... well.... let’s just say this is a different and diverse type of music. As an album as a whole it stinks, even though it may sound different. 2/10 I.U. TOM LEACH - Tom Leach (Slow River) It’s difficult to be constructive about a record like this. Country songs about running out of coffee and losin’ ya missus have little appeal. 2/10 A.M. V/A - Brandon Lock’s Ibiza Mix (Massive) The CD apparently features “some of the best underground and pumping tunes”.. err, sadly this is not the case. Don’t bother. 1/10 G.C. SIMON RAYMONDE - Blame Someone Else (Bella Union) Herein are twelve “ballads” sung by the “talented” Simon Raymonde of Cocteau Twins fame. This is nothing like the Cocteau Twins, and certainly not recommended. 0/10 M.B.
MOBY - The James Bond Theme (Moby’s Re-version) (Mute) This is James Bond. If you like it and you like dance music, buy it. If you don’t like James Bond, then this is some very good house, so buy it. If you like neither, buy it anyway, because you WILL like it. Six mixes, including mixes by CJ Bolland and Grooverider. The mutt’s nuts! 10/10 M.B. THE INTERPRETERS - In Remembrance Of That Fine Evening (Volcano) The Interpreters sound like a warped cross between Sex Pistols, and Jonathan Fire*Eater, the former in terms of their punky style and the latter in terms of their kookiness. Just to hear ‘Dogskin Report’ proves this, where a French spy during World War 2 shaves a dog, to tattoo secrets on it’s body, only to have the war end before it’s hair grows back, warped, but cool! 8/10 D.N. BECK - Deadweight (Geffen) This is from the new much hyped ‘A Life Less Ordinary’ film and it sees Beck on top form, a kind of creepy blues style complete with crackly percussion and a delightful acoustic guitar. Cool. 7/10 A.M.
REDWOOD - Falling Down (Almo) ‘Falling Down’ is a rocked out heavy pop song with no floating guitars and several sniffs of late Beatles guitar riffs that falls short in light of the fact its a bit boring. Their live efforts are far more riveting than this. 6/10 D.J. BAMBINO - Little Darling... Little Angel... Little Monkey... Little Imp (Broken) There is only one striking feature recognisable in the first instance with this CD, that a monkey with a ‘Fisher Price’ microphone could have improved the production. Apart from this huge influence on how they sound, the songs are O.K. with feminine Bjorkish vocals over ‘Heavy Pop’ guitar. 6/10 E.C. BUSTA RHYMES - Put Your Hands Where My Eyes Could See (Elektra) If you were at the carnival this year you would have seen him rock Westwood’s and Kiss FM’s stage. Despite what people may say, his lyrics in this single are nowhere near explicit. The original mix sounds cheap and unworked. The mix featuring Kwesi Be is, however a true piece of work. This single is nowhere near what Busta is capable of. 5/10 I.U.
This weeks music bought to you by - Matthew Beal, Dean Arif, Emma Clarke, Gemma Decent, Frank Fraulo, Alastair Mooney, Denise Nicholson, Thomas Van Waes, Ikaraam Ullah, Nick Walsh, Georgina Tarrant, Honey Butcher, James Bloomfield, Gabriel-Oliver Chamero, Daniel Jones,Nick Walsh,Andrew Thomas, Rob Winder
HOLE - My Body The Hand Grenade (City Slang) An album capturing the essence of a rock band, from its meagre beginnings in the basements of LA, to the present day all out metal frenzy that is known as Hole. The tracks are in chronological order showing THE PIXIES the evolution of the group. Early songs - Death To tend to have heavy The Pixies guitar and vocals, (4AD) with later songs Influential... sounding like the blah, blah, slightly more blah... ‘Smells Like refined present day Teen Spirit’... Hole. The album kicks off with blah.. The ‘Turpentine’ the reason why group’s first ever The Pixies are so revered recording. Previously unreis because they bothered leased, but well to write fan- worth the wait. It also includes their tastic songs. first two singles There are ‘Retard Girl’ and seventeen ‘Dicknail’, along here, from ‘Debaser’ to with some tracks taken from their ‘Monkey’s 1995 MTV Gone To Unplugged session. Heaven’. This CD should be Classics all, driven by raucous guitars and with Black Francis screming his lungs out over the top. It is all so mag- bought to “hear the nificent. Buy this album. Then go and buy all their albums. w(Hole) story”. 7/10 E.C. Enjoy life with the Pixies. 9/10 R.W.
Friday 31st October 1997
It is always advisable to confirm with the venue before travelling.
21:00 Red Dwarf 21:30 Dangerfield
22:00 Have I got News for You 21:00 Friends 22:30 Rory Bremner
The Damned - Guildford Civic Hall (01483 444555) Eddie Izzard - London Brixton Academy La Bradford - London The Garage (0171 607 1818) Moreau’s Island - London Upstairs at the Garage (0171 607 1818) River - London Camden Barfly (0171 482 4808) Eddie Izzard - London Brixton Academy Hawkwind - Guildford Civic Hall (01483 444555) Sleater-Kinney, Comet Gain London Garage (0171 607 1818) 3rd House Of Beef - Reading Alleycat (0118 956 1116)
(For details and bookings phone 01483 578017) Times subject to change please check before film
Wilde (15) 12:15, 13:05, 17:55, 20:40 L.A. Confidential (18) 13:15, 16:45, 20:10 An American Werewolf in Paris (15) 12:55, 15:35, 18:10, 20:50 A Life Less Ordinary (15) 12:45, 15:25, 18:00, 20:40 The Peacemaker (15) 14:15, 17:15, 20:20 Hercules (U) 12:30, 14:50, 17:30 The Full Monty (15) 12:45, 15:15, 18:30, 21:00 Shooting Fish (12) 14:55, 17:35, 20:20 A Simple Wish (U) (NB Not Wednesday) 12:45 Free Willy 3: The Rescue (U) 12:50 Contact (PG) 20:00 My Best Friend’s Wedding (12) (NB not Weds or Thurs) 15:10, 17:50, 20:30
20:10 Casualty 22:50 Match of the Day 20:10 Decisive Moments: The Photos That Made History 19:15 Blind Date 22:35 Film: Gunmen
20:00 Full Circle with Michael Palin
AT YOUR Dustball UNION Guildford University Bevis Frond - London Garage (0171 607 1818) Lydia Lunch - London Jazz Cafe (0181 963 0940)
22:15 Film: Pulp Fiction 22:00 Jack Dee’s Sunday Service
23:30 Film 97 with Barry Norman 22:00 I’m Alan Partridge
Thursday Wednesday Tuesday 6th 5th 4th
23:30 Film: Defence of the Realm 23:15 Seinfeld
20:30 The Cook Report 21:00 Soldier, Soldier 22:40 Film: Mad Max II 21:30 Absolutely Fabulous 22:00 The X Files 22:30 Newsnight
19:30 UEFA Champions League
BigBang Theory featuring Carwash - Reading Alleycat (0118 Wilde (15) 12:15, 15:05, 17:55, 20:40 956 1116) L.A. Confidential (18) 12:15, 15:25, 18:40, 21:55 An American Werewolf in Paris (15) 14:30, 17:35, 20:20, 22:45 A Life Less Ordinary (15) 14:15, 16:55, 19:30, 22:40 The Peacemaker (15) The Beekeepers PICK 13:15, 16:15, 19:15, 22:20 OF THE London Kings Cross Water Hercules (U) WEEK Rats (0171 837 7269) 12:15, 14:35, 16:55, 19:25 The Full Monty (15) Catatonia - London Astoria 14:00, 17:15, 20:15, 22:35 The Hitchers, The Karelia London Garage (0171 607 1818) Shooting Fish (12) The Jellys, The O, Novocaine - 16:55, 19:30, 22:15 Reading Alleycat (o118 956 1116) A Simple Wish (U) 12:20, 14:25 Mark Owen, Northern Uproar Free Willy 3: The Rescue (U) Shepherds Bush Empire 12:45, 14:50 Contact (PG) Asian Dub Foundation 21:45 Portsmouth Wedgewood Rooms My Best Friend’s Wedding (12) Daft Punk - London Astoria 16:30, 19:00, 21:35 Manbreak, A, Glitterbox - London Camden Barfly (0171 482 4808) Moke - London Club Moke Northern Uproar - London Kings Cross Water Rats (0171 837 7269) Son Volt - London Dingwalls
Friday & Saturday
22:00 They think it’s all over 23:00 Question Time 20:30 Top Gear 22:30 Newsnight
20:00 The Bill 21:00 Thief Takers
Asian Dub Foundation Farnham College Comet Gain - London Camden Underworld The Hitchers - London Mean Fiddler Manbreak, A, Glitterbox Portsmouth University Melvins - London Garage (0171 607 1818)
The Devils Own
Lecture Theatre G Sunday 5pm & 8pm, Monday at 8pm
Cinema and Arts
Friday 31st October 1997 n
Union House- Friday 24 October 1997
The Peacemaker (15)
George Clooney, Nicole Kidman
ction movies have a fairly predictable format. Introduce a bad guy who has a pretty serious grudge to bear. Show your crowd what he’s going to do (jaws drop at the twisted nature of his cunning plan) and then bring in the good guy who’s going to save the world and his stunningly good looking accomplice, come love interest. The Peacemaker, the first film from the new Spielberg and Co’s new super studio, Dreamworks, doesn’t differ on this count. Here we have an East European leader who decides that he’s going to hold the West to ransom with a nuclear weapon. Only first he demonstrates his intentions by detonating a device quite spectacularly in Central Russia. Enter straight laced nuclear weapon expert, Nicole Kidman and her, rogue-like side kick George Clooney who have to stop the man from the East going atomic. For a low budget action movie The Peacemaker does very well. There are lots of thrill seeking set pieces, some of which hark back to classic Bond movies. Clooney finally
o did you see the Lightning Seeds last Friday? ‘Lucky You’! What did you think? ‘Perfect? ‘Marvellous’? make you ‘Happy’ and dance with ‘Joy’ with a ‘Tingle Tingle’ feeling? I’m a Purely ‘Jollification’ man myself not ‘Dizzy Heights’ so I was pleased then when the old favourites came along such as ‘The Life Of Riley’. ‘Blowing Bubbles’ was All I Wanted to make it ‘My Best Day’ though. The crush on the dance floor however at the beginning was horrendous. I now realise what Karen Swales meant in her open letter to Barefacts two weeks ago. People jumping excitedly made tidal waves pulse through the crowd. One girl had to fight her way out saying she couldn’t breathe. I was going to make fun of the phrase “a capacity 1600 crowd” but not anymore. I quit the dance floor and watched from Hari’s Bar on the screen. The trouble was I could hardly hear the music from the amount of chatter. Were people there to watch and listen to a great band or talk to each other?! The end of every song was followed by chants for ‘Three Lions’. True, it would have lifted the roof off the union if played but I was kind of glad it wasn’t. While it is ace for a sing-a-long it is a bit tacky compared to their other material. The Lightning Seeds write excellent songs and some brilliant intros to them. ‘Why Why Why’ people clapped to the
proves that he has got what it takes on the big screen after luke warm performances in One Fine Day and Batman and Robin. Witty one liners are spread evenly throughout this
showing the audience the effects of the bullet spraying antics going on screen, actually making you realise that the body count is steadily rising. This is a good film for its genre entertainment from the word go!
superb haunting start of ‘Marvellous’ I will never know. The LS are best on CD, I feel. I’ve heard them do better but playing live they sound a tad too indie for my ears. On the other hand they have tweaked a couple of their songs, including a long extra bridge section for ‘Marvellous’. For all my complaints I congratulate USSU Ents for signing the Lightning Seeds. Personally though I would have paid a higher Price to see them at a more suitable venue. The SU may be ‘A Cool Place’ but perhaps not for major acts such as these. ‘Bound In A Nut Shell’ the Lightning Seeds are very talented but as a live act they remain ‘A Small Slice Of Heaven’. James Buller
two hour man/bomb hunt. Kidman is as good as she has ever been (think Dead Calm and To Die For and you’re about there) and shows a sensitive side to the shootings and violence around her. For her first film, Mimi Leder shows great maturity in her direction. There are some very clever shots which mimic Scorsese at times. However, she has a fresh approach to action movies,
Don’t expect too much depth, as you certainly won’t get it here. Maybe it is a bit too long and there are a few pointless parts at the beginning (speaking Russian for the first ten minutes of the film would be useful), but overall, for a first effort, it’s a bloody riot. Taken in the right frame of mind, you really can’t beat it. 7/10
Better the Devil you Know !!
Union House Sunday 19 October 1997
f the “crowd” 2 were photographers and 3 were stage crew, which was a crying shame. The Jellys were damn fine. The three of them made up for the lack of support by filling the union with luxurious noise. The set of eleven songs showed a quality of ability, if perhaps a little unvaried. It was refreshing, however, to see a band who do not do the obligatory acoustic ballad slosh. Instead the music bounced between punk and rock. The energy unfortuately didn’t transfer from band to audience, but they seemed less than disheartened and made light of it. They looked particularly at home on the stage and the performance was itching to be stunning but the union was less than enthusiastic and killed the moment. Many songs reminded you of something else, although they avioded the cover version hellpit. Yes, it’s been done before, but The Jellys do it well and could easily give Green Day a run for their money. If you like that sort of thing then you really missed out. But to be honest if you can’t be arsed to go and see a band, for free, for a couple of
owever, this weeks film is more concerned with the Devil you don’t know, in the Devil’s Own. The film concerns an escaped IRA terrorist (Brad Pitt) who takes up residence with an American-Irish cop (Harrison Ford). Potential for Trouble ? I should think so and guess what ? Trouble is exactly what the pair get. A film well worth seeing, so instead of sitting around doing nothing why not watch The Devil’s Own. So if you like the idea of a good Irish-American tale, or you just want something to do for an evening. Then you can buy a ticket by going along to the postroom in the union, filling out a ticket and the placing that ticket into the box. Then simply go along to LTG pay
your two pounds and choose a seat of your liking. The film will be showing on Sunday at 5p.m. and 8p.m. and again on Monday at 8p.m. The Arts cinema will be showing the exceptionally funny Brassed Off that boasts a very strong British cast which of course includes Ewan
McGregor. So if you would like to see this excellent British film then you can buy a ticket for two pounds from either the Arts Office or on the door. This film as usual will be shown in LTG at 8p.m. on Wednesday. If anyone has any suggestions concerning the showing of films, the films you would like to see and even films you would like to see as lateniters, then please put your ideas on paper and leave them if the OFU pigeon hole in the postroom. Finally if anyone would like to have a go at learning to project films, contribute to selecting next season’s films, or just fancy’s being involved in a fun society, then please come along to our meeting on Tuesday at 6p.m. in LTH. All are welcome.
Another World Exists Next To Us....
hours on a Sunday evening then you deserve to miss out. I went, I loved it. Honey Butcher The Jellys with Novocaine and The O play Reading Alleycat on 4th Nov and London Garage on 8th Nov.
ast Wednesday, ODEON Cinema gave the opportunity to cinema goers to enjoy one of its “PROJECTIONS” occurring every such day. I attended it myself and the film we saw was MICROCOSMOS. The film is basically a documentary showing in every detail a day in the life of several insects. The film makers Claude Nuridsany and Marie Perennou spent a lifetime to
observe and film. The action takes place in an ordinary meadow in
Eveyron in France, a summers day, and all the stars are garden pests. The narrator is Christin Scott Thomas. The film is proud to have extraordinary macrophotography and sound. The camera captures scenes one
would never imaging or even believe exist, such as the interior of ants’ nests. the mating of several insects, the creation of butterflies and ants’ struggling for maintenance. The result is really fantastic and surely the film is worth being seen and applauded. The audience enters a world in miniature and visits a parallel universe peopled by strange and wonderful aliens.
Friday 31st October 1997
n Too much lego makes Ben a dull boy n Conehead’s coming home! n Nick, I was pushed!!! Fraggle. n Nicky says the waiter at The Green Man has no sense of humour!!! n More service stations on the M3 please. n Alan M.. really needs a SHAG. n Suz, what have you found? n J.P., you have done worse than getting on to the scoreboard n Tom, you are a Tart. n Thanks for the flowers N, love C n Chiquitilla: you are the most beautiful girl in the world n Trout Boy! You out there somewhere my love? n Mike - did she enjoy licking your sloblocks? n The verb: to bungle - bungler, go bungling, to be bungled! Isn’t that right then? n Come on pride - prrr prrr n IT 2nd year, how are you doing?? Is Marcin still fooling around with the machines, C_YA Chris!!! n BF 2am.... Bob 7.45pm We win the cuddly toy is ours.... n K.E. nothing like projectile vomitting!!! n After three unsuccessful years, now I get too many! n Look, no more Crisis or catastrophes please, we’ve got enough at the moment. n Mire needs some loft insulation! n Calling the Fart Machine!! K.E where R U?? n Who needs a roofreack anyway?! n Hello everybody at Surrey, just a little hi from Christina. n DOK! bartman forgot! desparetely seeking seeker JB 4216 n Everyone is then, and then there is the others. n Alex- Nice dancing to Barbie Girl on Wednesday!!! n Temperature in the union during the Lightening Seeds - Schorchio !!! n When are we next “doing dinner” then? Your place or mine? n Tich - Do you like playing stock cars on the M3 or did you just like the girl in front?! Ummm n Has anyone got any PENNIES to lend to Rob? Is there anything he HASN’T done?!! n So, down the back of the chair were they!! ‘but I checked there’ n Chris Sturt- How is your Friday fresher? from club One Eleven. n A - So do you make a habit of ‘tasting’ peoples hands then?!! n Rob D - are you sure sport gave you those bruises n ‘Nel’ Mangle Tit’s, we love you. n All Diesel drinkers prepare for diesel fest ‘97 n Warren - you may be 2 stars higher than me but there’s nothing you could teach me!! DB n Long live Austin Powers, International Building of Mystery. n Simon, have you set a date yet? Week12 n Antonia ... damn I had to blow up the lilo this time! - C n Catherine, I’ve booked an appointment at the opticians for you next week. n Laura & Angela, wish I was there!!! But this is O.K too, Christina n A, C, K, R, A & S want a gag? n Aren’t the Dust Junkies brilliant !!!!! n AFAFAFAFAFA!!!!!! n Tricky + haggis, Vodca, spoor, Saturday be there - Fraggle n Will Kev, Psychology postgraduate please get in touch with me regarding the great ideas that he wrote on Union suggestion slips. I want to know more. I want to know your surname. Call me - Bob ext. 9227 n How do you turn out street lights Rich ? n Celebrating 20 all over again! Only 4 months late! Thanks, I had a an Ab Fab time. Love you all, M. n To the bloke who lifted me up to take a photo of the Lightning Seeds - cheers mate, you’re a star! n Nothing happened in the tent, I’m innocent!!!! - Fraggle n Alicia: Have you got a bottle of cruzcampo??? Te quiero n Attention all cold students - Alex & Matt’s double glazing service is now in n Andy - I can hold my own! Tracy (4), you’re the only man for me. James (1) n Drink one oel for me, Jens. RK the Viking n Pannell, you know nothing... n this one’s about two inches bigger than the other one. n How do you turn out street lights Rich ? n Long live Austin Powers, International Building of Mystery. n Il faut dormir les nuits mon petit n Look out lads, it’s a falling plane n What’s up with the tape recorder Warren? n One Car, two doors, four keys!! n Can Andy who contacted Bare Facts about contributing please give us another call as the extension number we have for you doesn’t work - Cheers Ed. n To the bestset boyfriend in the entire universe... mr jelly baby you are just the best , and I think the world of you... heres to another 3 years... love l.m.******* n Thanks to those who did nothing to stop a guy punching us at Bo’s, thanks for watching n This week, I ‘ave mostly been eating all the pies n Congratulations to Mark for organising an excellant Rag Week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! n Sarah - lets try to beat 5! Wingnut, how’s the Dutch connection? n Jump on, do you want any coke with that malibu? Slag of x n Phil and Susie... you forgot your union card numbers. n Matt “I look like a grass hopper” Pannell!!! n Percy - What’s your game, you dirty old ripper? n Duracell Bunny, How HARD was Fraggle’s floor on Friday night. Did you sleep or play ball? Warren n SFTW - reserve your copy now n Happy halloween Dean love me***** n Warren and Duracell have some talking to do, don’t we! You’re too expensive you know. n Jeremy, you must think your boat has come in. n Doris -It’s nice when you have a nice sandwish isn’t it? n D.B. welcome to the world of alcoholism - Fraggle & Chums n Julie at Twyford - woman, i miss ya. Hope you are surviving the onslaught of size 8’s. Love Kazza Mo. n We may not have qualified this year, but we’ll be back... n Simon- Had any good Pizzas recentlyn Dolly - can I just have a sip of your gin? n Gorjus, U R + 2 ,Gorjus’er n Heres to another three years coco.... n Look out lads, it’s a falling plane n BTW it’s your and not you’re.
Hong Kong Society AGM 31st October ‘97 6:00pm LTA Canoe Club - Wednesday 5th November, Trip to Hurley Wier, followed by fireworks at the RAM cider house!!! ENJOY. Bare Facts Editorial Board Meetings 6pm every Monday in the Office in Union House MetSoc AGM 21AB20 1pm 12th November ‘97 Taiwanese Soc AGM 31st October 6pm LTH Archery Club AGM 4th November 7:30pm LTK Postgraduate Association AGM 4th November 6pm LTA Jiu Jitsu AGM is Sunday 9th November, 8pm. Meet in Campusport Studio. Oscar Film Unit (OFU) meet weekly on Tuesdays at 6pm in LT H, come along and help choose next semester's films! Everyone welcome! The Singapore Students’ Society is having a Tea Reception on the 31st October 1997 at LT D at 6:45pm and all students are welcome. Postgrad Association AGM to take place on Tuesday 4th November at 5pm at Wates House. Sci Fi & Anime GM Sunday 9th November 2:30pm LTA, contact ch61hm for more details. Judo AGM 12Nov 3:45 (after training) Dance Studio Campusport Netgamer AGM Wed 12th Nov 7:30pm LTB Boat (Rowing) Club AGM 12th November 5:30pm Grant Mitchell Room. We would just like to say a big thanks to all those who gave us money during Rag week. We raised over £100 in 2 hours. Screamer & Zombie.
Thanks to all of you who came along last Tuesday to experience what turned out to be another terrific ‘Unplugged’. If you want to join in the next one (week 11, 18th November) let me know through the Unplugged pigeon hole as soon as possible. The Unplugged bandwagon is truly gaining momentum. The atmosphere created in the Helyn Rose bar is brilliant so if you have yet to try it, what’s keeping you? If you want to get involved, come along to Hari’s bar on a Turesday at 7pm. See you there.Tom Sherwen - Unplugged chairman
Sports and Features
Friday 31st October 1997 n
The Minibusgate Affair
ave you ever used a Union minibus?? Used it to go to matches? To go on sporting trips? As a society? Caught a bus to and from events? Ever caught one back from Bo’s or Cindies?? The Students’ Union currently owns 7 minibuses - 2 vans and 5 seated buses which are used to death for the following reasons: n BUSA matches n 50 sports clubs n 50 societies n Hazel farm runs on a Friday Night and special events - For which the Accomodation Office pay £10 per run, to include payment of driver. We still have to incur the costs for diesel and maintenance. n Club runs back from Cindies on Monday’s and Bo’s on Wednesday’s - the funding for which is split 3 ways between the Union, University Security and the University Senate. Minibus runs to Bo’s on a Wednesday are run and payed for by Union. Union Amenities such as Stage Crew, getting the House Officers to the Bank safely, Other Union stuff, getting equipment to gigs etc etc. n Transporting the EIHMS Nurses based off campus. n Intro week usage. All University Departments both for Academic and Adminisatrative use. The Union Club incurrs all costs for maintenance and repair and as such runs the at a huge loss. At the year end 1995 (the only
CHRISTMAS BALL!! ARE YOU SWEET ENOUGH TO COME?!
or the first time ever in the history of the University of Surrey, we are finally going to have a Christmas Ball on Friday 19th December in the Students Union. Preparations for this event have already begun but we need to know what YOU want to see there to make it a brilliant night. At the moment, there is just a small committee making all these important decisions on behalf of the whole university which is obviously not ideal so the more input we get from the students, the better this event can be. If you want to hear the latest developments in the plans for this ball, we present them each week at the Ents Committee meetings on Mondays at 6pm in technology Grant Mitchell meeting room (opposite the Bare Facts office). EVERYONE IS WELCOME! So please just come along and you can honestly make a difference. The Christmas Ball has a ‘sweets’ theme and we have already come up with many ideas to follow this theme, any suggestions to make this event even sweeter and sticker (yes we have already thought of chocolate body paint!) then they will be very welcome. All our ideas are yet to be confirmed but we do have a professional photographer, tattooist, and amazing pictures already booked for the evening. At present we are looking to get a recognised DJ to play for the evening which we are waiting to hear a reply from, we do need some input however as to whether or not a band would be preferred and if so what
figures I can find on hand at the moment it was £14,274 deficit. And insurance costs a hell of a lot too. YES we would like to do more runs YES we would like to take to do more Hazel Farm runs YES we would like a whole new fleet of buses YES we need more drivers Realistically, we need to buy two new buses which cost £15 000 each. Realisitcally we are looking for more than one driver to do the Club runs, more than two to do the Hazel Farm runs, more than 4 to do BUSA MORE than the existant core of drivers. So YES we would like you to take a test, its only a tenner and then volunteer to be a regular minibus driver - you can get paid for the work you do. and YES we would like suggestions on how to improve the current minibus situation. because YES we need more Buses. Got any solutions/ buses/drivers/ piles of cash that you’d like to offload?? Come and see Caz - Sports Officer (ext.9981) who is also the person in charge of buses! P.S As we are writing this article a bus was used to take a member of staff down to the Health Centre. Another bus was found to have a flat battery coz someone left the lights on.
band?? Tickets will be £15 so now is your chance, how do you want your money spent? Any questions, opinions, ideas then please just come along to the Ents meeting/ fill in the form below and put it in the ‘Balls’ pigeon hole in the Students Union building. If preferred then you could also email any of us: Susie Westwell on Li61sw, Karen Hanmore on Li61kh, Anna Butterworth on Li61ab or Claire Wallace on ec61cw. We look forward to hearing from you!
The Charter Ball will be held in February ’98 and preparations are also already underway. We are working to make this event the biggest and best yet but we want YOUR help!! Charter Ball meetings are held every Wednesday , meeting at 4pm in the Students Union lobby first of all. Everybody is welcome, we already have some really exciting ideas, so come along and see what you think! Any queries can also be put in the ‘Balls’ pigeon hole in the Union, or email to ms41cp,
(Corinna Phillips). Susie Westwell
The perfect Christmas bash? You decide.....
Friday 31st October 1997
The Perfect Start...
Wednesday 22 October 1997, Merrick Park Golf Club, Bournmouth Surrey 3 Bournmouth 3
quite funny for he defendJacques & Manky Rob. Mr Bean then ing BUSA G o l f hit it in the trees and champions got off to a dismal start of course Jamie won the hole !!!! of the season with a mediocre draw The rest of the match isn’t worth talking about really. Briefly, Ajay against Bournemouth. The day started off poorly with “Nice Car!!!” Patel and Sandro Jamie O’Doherty turning up late “Italian Stallion” Carlotti both winand proceeding to get us lost within ning. Mark “Ginga” Booker mana mile of university. Not bad con- aging to half his match ( Not bad sidering he lives within 2 minutes for a +1 handicapper who is in the of the course we were playing at. England Youth Squad!!!) with a 5 However he redeemed himself in handicaper who hit it like a tart !! . amazing fashion by holing-in-one Rob “Ginga Lamp Chops” Alter at the 243 yard opening hole. On managing a half against his Finnish striking the shot he turned away in opponent and Chris “ Manky” disgust and cursing that he hit the Manger losing his match against an shot fat (i.e. crap for all you non- Eddie Large lookalike. golfers). His reaction on making his Oh well, still undefeated in over a first ace was an understandable “ year, better luck next week and Oh shit !!!! I’m skint guys !!!!” hopefully we’ll never have to travel His Mr Bean lookalike opponent so bloody far again !!!! stepped up to the tee and Rob OOPS !!! Almost forgot, Jamie (Jacques Villeneuve) Alter greeted ”Youdaman!!!” O’Doherty mirachim with “ Well, this one for the ulously lost his match too. half mate !!!!” This was actually
Burpham Res FC 0 University of Surrey FC B XI 6
despite theneanderthal tactics of the filthy Burpham scum! Solid centre midfielddomination from Yannis ‘Deep’ Boziaris and Andy ‘Kitman’ Harkett provided astiff and erect backbone from which the limbs of the team applied avice-like, choke hold on the game. Fantastic wing play from Gareth’Hat-Trick’ Walters and Simon ‘Braice’ Roche, provided 5 of the Surreygoals, with the sixth coming as a result of a magnificent solo run from’Mad’ Alex.Terrier like pressure and pinpoint feeder play from the Golden boy Meads,Constitution Hill, and he Surrey ‘B’ football team continued their meteoric rise up the leaguetable with yet another storming victory. As yet undefeated, in the Guildfordand Woking Alliance League, the boys kept their first clean sheet of theseason. Stunning performances across the back from Yankee Doodle, The BoySimone, Henri ‘Onions’ Gueydan, Mad Alex Pruthi and Quincy Stiff ensured theSurrey net was kept as free of balls as a Eunachs underpants! A defiant team spirit and confidence, far ahead of the years of a relativelyyoung team, kept control of the game for a solid 90 minutes,
after the break, Amigo Paulo, completed the Surreydomination as Burpham wilted in Surrey’s autumn sunshine. Football was thewinner on the day with the boys proving beyond any shadow of a doubt, thatthe ball to feet is mightier than the hoof! Many thanks to those who drove us to the ground; Spooner, Baldie and ‘themindoors’; and especially all those chiselling Old Boys who made the Team ofthe Day success that much sweeter.” All the Lads......”
Mens Water Polo Most Sucessful Club 96/97
Achievements over the last few years Surrey University Mens Water Polo Club has progressively improved, culminating in reaching the BUSA semifinals and winning the Surrey County Cup. Which earnt us the prestigious title of Most Successful Club of 1996 / 97. This success was heightened by the high contingent of new comers to the team. colours ball will verify. The whole of last year was filled with drunken antics which improve team spirit and is an important part in the teams outlook.
Meeting times If this is up your alley (though we wont be), then turn up outside senate house at : Mondays : 8:15 pm Thursdays : 8:45 pm Sundays : 8:15 pm
few places are still available for this 5 week course for beginners, starting on Tuesday 11th November 6.00 - 7.00 p.m. Come and sign up at the Sports Centre.
new 5-week course has been arranged for all those who missed the Tuesday evening opportunity! It’s a great workout and Joanna is a motivating, professional teacher - do sign up for the course on or before 5th November to secure your place. COURSE DETAILS: FRIDAYS 7TH NOVEMBER - 5TH DECEMBER @ 5.20 pm FEE: Card Holders £5/Non card holders £7.50/Staff £10
About Training Our Monday training sessions are dedicated to improving you stamina and stroke, and we also swim. Our Thursday sessions are reserved for tactical improvement and matches. Finally on Sunday we endeavour to practise our Ball Skills and other individual water polo skills. Obviously after training an energy replenishing ailment, (i.e. mines a Stella guv.)
Contacts If you want to find out more, contact : Alec does she swallow Patterson on x 4312 or Lex Philippidis on x 4702 LEX.
Ballroom Dance Society
reminder that the first meeting and “Come and Try Ballroom Dancing” is on Wednesday 5th November at 7.30 p.m. in the University Hall.
Social The Men Water Polo Club is now recognised as one of the major socially active sports team in the University, as, those at last years
Row, row, row your boat Evening Weybridge Silver Skulls - 18th October 1997 Aerobics in the University Hall I
reminder that the classes will be returning to their programmed time now the Open University examinations have finished. That is: Mondays 6.00 - 7.00 p.m. Wednesdays 5.00 - 6.00 p.m. Thursdays 6.30 - 7.30 p.m. All abilities - both men and women - are welcome to these fun workouts which also include classes at the Sports Centre as follows:
Tuesdays 1.00 - 2.00 p.m. and 7.00 - 8.00 p.m. Thursdays 5.30 - 6.30 p.m. (Funky Aerobics!) Fridays 1.00 - 2.00 p.m. Sundays 11.00 a.m. - noon
Stefano also entered in the novice n just four weeks of the Freshers Annie Preston arriving we entered our first Head Single Skull event and avoiding the swans this time, finished an race of the semester. The day was perfect, with glorious sunshine it was not only a day of impressive twelth out of thirty one other Clubs. racing, but a chance for all those (sexy!) rowers to show Well done guys, keep the training up - those early mornings ARE paying off, honest!! all and top up the fading summer tan. Stefano Predieri and Steve Poole represented Surrey If you fancy yourself in one of those lycra all-in-ones University in a Double Skull. The 3300m long course and can handle the commitment of being part of a crew was a test for these two who had a brilliant start and that relies on each member 100% then contact Stefano: looked strong. Near the finish, as exhaustion set in, me61sp or Annie: bs61ap. things got a little hairy with Stefano trying to behead a passing swan and another crew careering into the bridge, our double finished an outstanding fourth. Maybe not Redgrave and Pinsent, but give them time, these two will be winning tankets for every member of our Club.
Diesel and White Water
hugging wetsuits. (mine kindly donated by Warren - why did you have a ladies wetsuit?!!) The first paddle of the day involved advise and strokes to be used on the rapids, voluntarily submerging ourselves into ice cold water, and finally seal launching of a 10ft high rock which seemed to be a great laugh Yeah I know I’m a chicken!! We then made our way down the rapids, cruising along very sophisticatidily and finished off with a bit of posing around at the bottom - some of us more than others!! Paddling over, we made our way to a campsite and after huge stresses about putting up dodgy tents we descended on the local and made a start to our evening piss up. We
Friday 31st October 1997 n
he traditional Freshers White Water trip to Symonds Yat in Wales began with an 8 o’clock start on Saturday. This proved somewhat of a struggle for most people due to a massive Friday night out. However, everyone gradually appeared and by 9 we were well on the way to a wicked and certainly wet weekend on the River Wye. For those less experienced paddlers who were maybe a bit nervous about the white water, their fears were put to rest by Fraggles’ death deifying driving, as surely nothing would be more scary than that. When we eventually arrived, in one piece, we were confronted with the mammoth task of squeezing into our very attractive, figure
then shovelled much needed Frog in the Forests and fiery chicken curries down our gullets and started downing the dreaded “diesel”. Yes you name it, every single drinking game and stupid noise came out that night. Including the Teletubbies and Spice Girls, which gave us disapproving looks from the locals, but did we give a dam? - no! Being well tanked up, we made our way back, entertaining ourselves with dodgy renditions of Bohemian Rhapsody. The evening finished off in a very merry way by a)being bollocked by the warden and b) being hugely entertained by Fraggle and
Duracell Bunny’s very giggly effort in the tent. Let’s just say it didn’t leave much to the imagination! (Don’t believe a word she says...DB) Naturally in the morning most people were feeling a little worse for wear - not really surprising if your tent is taken down in the middle of the night!! So we slowly made it through the mist to the minibus and back to the river. The adorning of cold, wet wetsuits wasn’t everyone’s idea of fun especially as the bush us ladies were changing behind didn’t provide much cover from fascinated drivers. We spent the morning drifting down stream, singing horrifically out of tune songs and frightening all those
sheep that Stef was so excited about!! Our last paddle of the rapids was followed by the traditional swim for all those who dared. The long and arduous journey stuck in traffic jams improved on various attempts to pull other drivers (and their girlfriends!) Haggis’ tactics were simply to hurl himself out of the window and make interesting gestures at unassuming woman, which surprisingly enough didn’t work. All in all the trip was a great laugh and a huge confidence builder when it comes to white water!
....The Results.....The Results....The Results.....Resul
FOOTBALL M1 FOOTBALL M2 FOOTBALL M3 FOOTBALL M4 FOOTBALL W1 BADMINTON M1 BADMINTON M2 BADMINTON W1 BASKETBALL FENCING GOLF HOCKEY M1 HOCKEY M2
We lost - enough said. All that I wish to say is that I wish I had started this results table a bit later on or that the Editior in his ultimate wisdom(?) wasn’t so cross (cross? Me? Shurely some mistake? - Ed)
when I suggested that I only wanted to have a table when we won lots!! Anyway, well done to those that
won - and by God do we know that you won! And well done for those whe stayed to back me up when the oppostion got nasty - thanks and I love you all!!
SOUTHBANK SOUTHBANK PORTSMOUTH SUSSEX SOUTHAMPTON PORTSMOUTH PORTSMOUTH BUC KINGSTON SUSSEX BOURNEMOUTH SOUTHAMPTON INST. DIDN’T PLAY
3 7 4 3 4 5 5 1
1 1 1 2 3 4 4 8 LOST 7 3 1
12 38 68 12 30 39
HOCKEY W1 DIDN’T PLAY HOCKEY W2 PORTSMOUTH 0 NETBALL 1 READING 29 NETBALL 2 READING 15 RUGBY M1 KINGS COLLEGE 25 RUGBY M2 KINGS COLLEGE 5 RUGBY W1 SOUTHAMPTON INST. 0 SQUASH M1 DIDN’T PLAY SQUASH M2 SOUTHAMPTON INST. LOST 20 SQUASH W DIDN’T PLAY 3 VOLLEYBALL M CANCELLED DOES THIS COUNT? 4 VOLLEYBALL W SUSSEX 1 TENNIS M DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT TENNIS TENNIS W PORTSMOUTH 2 FOR THOSE PEOPLE WHO WON BASTARDS! FOR THOSE WHO LOST - THEY WERE ONLY SCUMMERS AND WE GOT RID OF THEM IN THE END!
AS A WIN? 3 4
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