(argoulevolume sixty-two, issue four ‘ctaber 31,2016 rte culture “hall olor mii Wome sacar Editor’s Address comnt gery ese tht ea fox Chiron chen, gather You et me ello sey ve Saryonds taboos re snipe eter erat ten yur ldo copyeditar& treasurer sore ant youn ee Rene the “nseile Selma eu you hen ih ochre 5 Sit oorindon Reenter eleelaess yo tt protucton manager & comes Sous! ps orl and hemor nv ne cmp toned say Now mai th tse eng ee gb a. pte Eettnene Seay, ni ‘ieee ‘uy Pater stag emeriee Biter er oom vaishne front cover ety vapor back cover cnlp)a seller contrite Side | Sepenchy | mapyaiecalo | Senne | | | 4 About us ‘he Garg s Unies Calle’ reset sen espe al ples ey two we Mest pe bebe sores yon ul ng nd wanes shold be oa and ifyou have not had a voice before, yu deserve a woce We dn’ ive print space to bigots a ‘we dont Fig nett gn ses of soll justice Please Keep You seas ad lege inside Out es ‘estomt-issve hughox at ll times, t} “The Gargole dungeon / offices located in 6, acess by the F dor in the UC und A\ egargayiect QN ISSN! 0318-0107X« ae PUKING ON THE TTC the garg guide to surviving your hallowe’en hangover no hones johnson About to minutes into the side you get tng Sensation in your hands, led dist by the Sense that ‘every Inch fy skin hat started Your flesh is melting inside your lightweight vindbreaker ‘Next stations Dundas. Dundas station,” You ee the doors nervously. Suddenly, mouths nnerieencesof salva The ie Tight is stl green, reusing to tur Ted The stay squeal shi ech distant emniscent ‘ofthe treble etre the bet drops Don't think abost the flor in the chb, Dont {Mink about Dom think aboot how sticky yout shoes ar “arviving at Dundas, Dundas Station ™ Hortiein your mouth. Ob no Saueeze your eyes st jo op Ws ost opt ut spe (h my got tastes tke bal Did someone et You drink reall Did om et you dik reba? The doors open. You bolt pat un chery woman ssshe ts he shopping Bugg upto the ai, ‘They have clear bags inthe garbage receptacles in the Maton, Ay in est headphones lanes nervously sou cough wine vomit to Ae he anal ofused sues and erunpled Time cups Wi, wre you getting off t Dundas? No, shit it wart George How do you ge that so wrong? You're cuppase to be inthe effce writing 2 Tite about Hallowe'en, ‘Puck That was the eyingARTS = AND Avril Lavigne & yt LR. Avril.BB PERKS @F BEING A WASP-Y SUBURBAN PET DBS Ihave a great sense of smell, and I can will find Kony faster than you turd sandwichesO . Spooky Spunk Jerry Jingle: How do 1 make my spank spooky? ‘ety hte: Leave n't jar leled"pocky ‘spunk’ and put in your private ge. This my Professional avi rot rie: Why do get tify around decorative pumpkin? WettyBhite: 1 think tht might just be what youe attracted to, Tha aright make sone {ogetheconsent ofthe pumpin or ater fsa ‘pumpin before you bump oad Loh: Where o ge Hallowee theme ‘Wet hit: woud just simply lok yp GOTHIC dildos, many ae spoky,skleton theme ee There’ ae. specie pla where Halen themed ones areata, herr ifs cheaper and more accesible you canbe Nexbeemoagh ‘osufice wth gothic tl do Real Rees: Can 1 devo Appropriately? Wet Bhi Yes. Clean i, Draw on cobwebs. Insert spider ana pl. my assole del. Jughead ar faking amar ‘ety Bhitetm ust doen or this oak Webby Rety: Does having atl cobwebs in my anal count a being festive? ‘Wetty tite: No. No-one ean see them. You should instead wear ashi aapiag you pot sobwebs in your vagina. Also don fatng do Ringo Dingo: Can 1 wear _my_colorally ppropriatine (and inappropriate) costne nt be? Welty Bite: You cat wes i outside or nse "he house unless youve a fucking raping ase Poultry Pai: How much money should be Spending on my sexo atts? Wetty Bite: As much st yo con, we ve in capital's sce Embrace the vi Kind Ken: Should I ake my ReslDoll™ out tick ov treating with me? Wetty hie: That's only yes f yon dress her up an hake sue to case the mouth the mouth iso ‘losea-be (which rely doubt, bese how else would ou shut wpe) T ould ecommend dressing it fea pig ad adding Stem and lea to your red bal pa Loney Lal: 1 hooked wp with a lown last ear ata Taloween fenton, how they sf tat fave an $11? Wty Bite: Highly likely! Did you know some ‘sare actualy nosymptonie? Ths toes ‘mean that they area" hartng your nse: jar ‘means that ike a mosgut bite "yo at feel. Get tested, get protection and et back in the Back that ny eat Foxy Fer: How do 1 remove speci ‘makeup fom my genitals? Wty Bite Hot water: Not to hot obviously hope you waxed blore application, Fore ‘Spartng Simon: My minivan ie COVERED ia {ake blood abe, bow dot et het ff my cat ‘ipholters? Wetty hie: Club soda. Hut 4 leave i. Hail Satan Haley Henne Where do you dr the fine between eto sex and ex ation? ‘ety Bhi personaly put adltion into box with elf destuetion and eorpalsion you bane ‘no stf-contol, which has let yo or ou tin ‘Sing to lead to you geting ivoled nuns somal practies | woe relly aie that yo sane cumin Actin meng Tobe ashamed of more coping mechanism that humans employ fr various alé-meeating prposes, Good lick ‘Sticky Steven: My gp outfit is stick, & there any help ‘Wart hte: Cu tof suggest going long, and ling only the seams 20 yon cam get te eh ena Be arefa Submit your exr-vanils sex questions forthe 'GARSTFY™ iste coming at yo i two eck Only the Mand-est of question wil be served, Your tame wil probably” te changed ‘ghee gm com ‘Wy are we abrays geting iced down, mean shoal we be ein dik up? Ti much rather hard pens, Tm already ‘babi on the grand, writhing round in pin, heme dicing king aon te Spey so FOS. ean theese even PLS to fetes What heck our Ce nw? Bick UP. chp. ‘speaking of dicks, lt’, gt down to bass ‘bout who i realy in chang of ringing these Sik pe wl he ty hat we al responsible for changing the pase tobe dicted "p.So we ae al respon for prod he Shetons of tno wor How does thi telat to Hallowen? It doesn. Dicks.What College You're in (as organized by beverage choice) penelope evans Ared wine Vitoria college. You lowe Hany Potter and you tied out forthe gulch tat, ut did make thee Mike's Hard Lemonade ‘Nev college. et you tink you're ell eting Ryeand Ginger (wi ime) ais cologe. Wow! Are you distinguished? Whiskey onthe rocks Rotman. Also, you eant come unless you cant breathe Birthday cake vodka & Diet Dr. Pepper Teinty calle. You wanna pretend you th sprm, fat fo cane ons 2 Ie Png tha in the ashore of ea RIP in pieces. ote bony ‘Warm Budweiser ‘The party at Sant Mikes is warm Bl for sre ut you get your buzon old eommanion wine, sore alo SMC fine. No, tv been peo shout [Anice ranberry juice tobe response forall these fol glncering, Did the ice jerk gt to eal?Linen _ AL thet one WO oO boy vbo wos wacked Ax that irgerek ihe. a blind CAR B: Ard ater wiring tha spat Bo Was meaKeny The pet yoo ti Te gt gaik S Wad enon tow “oar tprépoy ld tle * ~ tA Rain Da 1 alice yang there is, sx inthe owen Come and we # ‘there eal in my asement You 2 have her ‘There ig queen in my hand Pe crak hee in my” palm wv Thee 1 am ithe rain 77 Who lat “my body” there? There ix my body in the oven Come ‘ed et * ‘There are my ashes nthe um You" pat’ em in the basement ThereNUCLEAR HARVEST Joa this sa coemony that we perform out of arth i fe, water Stastrged oot of whieh the shreds nceived nothing bat peal bastards row hers fanny story sick with fear of the rick ‘reli then with or teat, Ih te qulkecorn of the planet The mutation ot nature Arik nos the time to make up fo it rest four soul fe Kind of human sevice so insightful so set, sch compasiion the model einen othe faut stout, oe to uneak these creatures, those wth vis stn Neh, protradent with carthworm pith ‘ood strangle gs {hose who wish they werestiborns. thee dressed at vampire dls 90 year blonthetioedeot mernansege it) 8 utr ofl trades thre ade you name it ther busts for Salat dale shop prices it ite spec Bund ith {Tne ofteeth, a reletion of dead fay sow bled ot he wind change pent on a generation Shen a theyre nila ove wth the sme od tash (hough tea thiste the ash ook ppropitely shit) SANGUINE found iting nfm, ditbeads race in his dotine: fare costae a cxime fine those hipter beads fondle rests forahins, fomication Frida twttarconieabunars(*) | Adbusters | @P 2000+ Allrationalist doctrines necessarily lead to nihilism ... cutoLeRic a coleton of tangle things ‘motion, now hatha Tell jcksht Tacs seght, {allof unnerving witand ‘surplus opie Droneto passion? 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