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Man on the Loose in Van - Inside the Mind of a Maniac

Man on the Loose in Van - Inside the Mind of a Maniac

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Published by: Jonathan Francois Douglas O'Haly on Jul 14, 2010
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01/04/2013

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Man on the Loose in Van Inside the Mind of a Maniac

Jonathan Francois Douglas O’Haly - 7/9/2010

Coming off the ferry from Nanaimo to North Vancouver in the tail end of rush hour hits you like a 100 pound ball SMACK! right into the side of the head. OK. I get it. This is why I live on Gabriola Island with 5,000 other hippy slash hillbillies who think they know everything about me. Some of these ladies who stand on the side of the street waiting for the bus. Start ticketing these girls. How much damage have they caused society. How can you concentrate on driving through rush hour with these girls standing on the side of the street looking sooooo good. No hot ladies walking anywhere near traffic especially in the summer from let’s say 3-6 pm. 32 more reads on Scribd and I hit 10,000. I don’t know why that’s important. When I first started writing some 3 plus months ago I thought, “Man. What if i get up to 10,000 reads someday!”. Well it’s going to happen tonight or tomorrow morning. 27 more reads. I want to click to my page right when it’s 9999. An actual accomplishment in my life. Nice. Thanks for the support everyone! It was like christmas in court today. It was crazy. I was caught driving a day after my insurance expired and hit with a 600 dollar ticket. So I disputed the charge in hopes of getting the fine reduced or getting on some sort of payment plan cause I’m broke ass. I knew things were going to go

relatively good. Everyone in court were getting their fines reduced to the absolute minimum. It’s finally summer in Nanaimo. The cops are happy the judge is happy the traffic violators are happy. Just a good place to be. Anyways they waived my fine because the cop who ticketed me didn’t ferry over from Gabriola. Someone’s getting a christmas present later this year. On the way out me and this cop made eye contact and he goes, cheers. Ya man, cheers! I started learning an ancient eastern form of sword fighting the other day on the beach. I don’t even remember what’s it’s called. Our sensei, I don’t know if that’s what he wants to be called, verbally spits out different forms of martial arts that he’s studied so rapidly it’s impossible to keep track of what we’re doing. So I have a bamboo sword in my hand for all of 60 seconds before he starts rapidly attacking me forcing me to block his blows impossibly fast scared he’s going to wack my head right off, then he comes in close and does some weird tripping leg sweep I’m totally not expecting sending me flying into the ocean. Awesome. 24 more reads. I’m sitting in some ultra fancy coffee shop in Port Moody down the street from the wild west real estate development that my Mom and Tony live in. They live in a huge tower, one of two, and there’s also a sprawl of assorted condo units here. There’s a public area with a gym, a pool, an indoor basketball court, a huge outdoor bbq, and an indoor conference area that people can rent out for events. There’s probably more people living here then on the whole island where I live but it’s different because most people don’t know each other. Just a ragtag crowd of people. Kind of cool. I’d buy a place here if I won the lottery. Why not.

After being on the island for so long I actually feel like I’m in the midst of a sci fi novel being here. Someone sent me a friend suggestion on fb to add an author who wrote a book about jesus christ to my friends list. I’ve sent him a friend request like 3 times now but the friend suggestion notification thing won’t go away. Are these friend requests not going through or does he keep refusing me? That would be irritating. “Go away. I don’t want to be your friend already.”

Part Two - 3 Days Later How many tears will it take to overflow and drown out the seemingly unquenchable greed of man with love and compassion finally? Stand in the midst of the changing landscape. Thoughts unfurl letter by lonely letter. Two questions. What is a frappe and why do I suddenly need one? As the world evolves. Sometimes we forget how fast things have changed. That’s why we need time travel. Oh people are waking up. Nice. I’m just hanging out in the night sky like the stars do. Let us dream this great dream together. We are now one people. Earthlings. We think the big banking families are powerful? How about aliens? Sow the seeds illuminating your inner path to true freedom. Run fast like children do. It’s fun.

Nobody knows what the fuck they’re talking about it. So don’t worry about it. Unless it’s really important. Sometimes I kind of feel like a racoon. Not really a bad animal just getting into mischief not because I mean to but hey that’s just what I do. Actually I’m not that bad although I used to be sort of. Illumination. What does it mean? I don’t know. Awaken to your true self. It’s like when that guy asks the Buddha what he is after seeing him on the road; an angel, a saint, or a god, etc. I don’t remember exactly. And the Buddha just replies, “I am awake.” My mind be like sitting in a big fuzzy chair. It’s kind of windy. My car started shooting out antifreeze today in burnaby on the way home to gabriola and I barely made it home after stopping a bunch of times. I have two extra vehicles at home and people were always asking me, “why do u need so many vehicles?” Well. So Spain won the world cup. The final was a hack fest. There were like a hundred yellow cards. Some one at the coffee shop the other day said that there should be like a card before yellow like blue so you need two blues to get a yellow and then two more, I guess, to get a red after that. Good idea. I say why stop there. You could have a bunch of colours maybe 4 with different colours for different fouls and teams could play each other at UNO at the same time. My sister gave birth yesterday. Cocoa is her new daughter’s name, her second. Congratulations Meghan! I love you.

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