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UDK 316.3/.4
BBK 60.55
К 21

Bishkek, Kyrgyzstan
May 2010.

К 21 Stories of
gay and bisexual men.
Kyrgyzstan.
2009 – 2010.
(Based on research of life modes and sexual practices of gay and bisexual men living in Kyrgyz Republic.)
Author Karagapolova I., - B.: 2010. - 84 page.

ISBN 978-9967-25-972-0

Irina Karagapolova – head of research, author.

Aleksey Gurkin – research consultant, author of preface.


Bakyt Beishenov – research assistant, translator from Kyrgyz language.
Syinat Sultanalieva – translator from Russian to English

Original design and layout: Bakai Tashiev

On order of:

Within the framework of PRECIS project:

With financial support of:

UDK 316.3/.4
K 0302030000-10 BBK 60.55
ISBN4978-9967-25-972-0 © Karagapolova I., 2010
This publication is intended for, in the first place, leaders and activists of gay and bisexual men’s communities, members and staff
of grass roots LGBT organizations and initiative groups, organizations implementing HIV/AIDS prevention programs, concerned
with protection and promotion of interests and rights, and offering services to LGBT persons and MSM.

It is possible that this publication could be useful for governmental institutions, international donor organizations, and AIDS-
focused NGOs in improving their understanding of specifics of existence of LGBT communities in Kyrgyzstan, in revealing their
actual problems and specific needs, and in studying social and psychological determinants of HIV-vulnerability among gay and
bisexual men.

In this publication there is a lot of information on lives of gay and bisexual men living in Kyrgyzstan in the year 2010.

You will find out what are the factors that complicate, in our opinion, the lives of persons with homo- and bisexual orientations,
as well as some ways of improving the situation.

The research group does not consider that the information provided on this topic and presented in this publication is exhaustive.

The point of view, interpretation and opinions of the research group on problems of gay and bisexual men, which might demand
interventions of organizations working on protection and promotion of rights and interests, implementing prevention programs,
and offering services to LGBT persons and MSM, may not concur with positions of the organization that ordered the publication
and donor organizations.

We will be inspired if this publication proves to be useful for Your work, and thankful if in using it You will arrange proper
references and citations to it.

LGBT organization “Labrys”


p/o box 1969, Glavpochtamt 720000, Bishkek
e-mail: kyrgyzlabrys@gmail.com ,
web site: www.labrys.kg

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Acknowledgements:

We thank all the people, who have made this research possible, helped and offered support in the process of working on this
publication.

We thank Anna Kirey and Syinat Sultanalieva for the opportunity to conduct this work and for comments on the publication,
Elena Sharpilova, Veronika Shegay and Viacheslav Yurievich Karagapolov for their volunteer contributions and assistance in
preparing this publication. Special thanks to Aleksei Gurkin for his assistance in editing the English version of the publication.

We are grateful to Vladimir Tyupin and Rinat Muratov (Bishkek), Karimov Gulam Mashkharovich and Vladimir Fokin (Osh), and
colleagues from Talas and Karabalta cities for their assistance in organizing interviews with men, who live in these areas, and for
key information, which expanded our understanding of lives of gay and bisexual men in different regions of the country.

Dear men, gays and bisexuals of Kyrgyzstan,


Our heartfelt thanks go out to You –
for the stories told, for time and emotions spent, for courage, trust and candour!

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Contents: Содержание:

List of main terms 8

List of main abbreviations 9

Instead of a preface 10

Instead of a prologue 11

The “Stories…” themselves 13

Instead of an epilogue 78

Sources, which we cite 82

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Main terms:1
Sexual orientation – is a more or less permanent romantic, emotional and sexual attraction towards persons of a certain sex.
There are three types of normal sexual orientation – heterosexual, homosexual and bisexual.

Heterosexuality – is a sexual attraction of a person, whose understanding of love, happiness and sexual life is connected to
persons of opposite sex.

Heterosexual – is a person, who is romantically, emotionally and sexually attracted to a person of opposite sex.

Homosexuality – is a sexual attraction of a person, whose understanding of love, happiness and sexual life is connected to
persons of same sex.

Homosexual, homosexual man, gay – is a man, who is emotionally, aesthetically and sexually attracted to another man.

Bisexuality – is a sexual attraction of a person, whose understanding of love, happiness and sexual life is connected to persons
of both sexes.

Bisexual – is a person, who can and wants to have emotional and sexual relationships with partners of both sexes. His/her sexual
attraction does not depend on the partner’s sex.

Sexual behavior – is the mode of life of people in the sexual sphere.

Homophobia – is a complex of unjustified, irrational negative emotions towards persons with homosexual orientation, which
may be expressed in negative attitude, fear, hostility, open hatred, violence and others.

Internalized homophobia – is an intricate complex of negative feelings (fear, guilt, shame) and doubts, connected with
assessment of their attractions as possibly wrong, sinful, morbid – experienced by some LGBT persons.

Stigmatization – is pinning labels, more often negative than positive.

Discrimination – is restriction of rights of a part of population, picked out based on a certain feature.

Tolerance – is readiness to be tolerant towards beliefs, views, mode of life, behavior, feelings, faiths, ideas and opinions of other
persons, even when you do not share or approve them.

8 1
For this glossary of terms we chose conventional terminology used by LGBT organization “Labrys” (Kyrgyzstan)
in its advocacy and awareness raising work.
List of main abbreviations:
HIV – human immunodeficiency virus
STIs – sexually transmitted infections
LGBT – lesbians, gays, bisexual and transgender persons
PLHIV – people living with HIV
MSM – men who have sex with men
NGO – non governmental organizations
AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome
VCT – Voluntary Counseling and Testing

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Instead of a preface:
According to the most conservative estimates the size of the target group consisting of men who have sex with men in
Kyrgyzstan varies from 18,000 to 36,000 persons2. The research and the publication based on it, include an analysis of not only
main sexual behaviors factors adopted by the group, but also social and psychological factors, which directly or indirectly
influence the spread of HIV and STIs among men, who identify as gay and bisexual, among the general number of MSM living in
the country.

The work on HIV prevention among gay and bisexual men is currently carried out by LGBT organizations with financial support of
national and international donors. Several of the latest prevention projects aimed at gay and bisexual men were financed by the
Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria. These projects were aimed at decreasing the rate of HIV transmission among
gay and bisexual men through outreach work and provision of social referral services in the same regions (oblasts) of the country,
as the ones covered by the hereby research.

It is worth mentioning that the low quality of information component of outreach work, as well as professional preparation of
outreach workers themselves, has previously been named as one of the main factors negatively influencing the effectiveness of
preventive measures undertaken3. In this regard this publication could also be useful for the already working and future outreach
workers as part of their professional capacity building.

In contrast to previous researches, the research you are holding is focused not on the MSM population in general, but only on
men, who identify themselves as gay and bisexual. The research and the publication were developed with an aim of making
them useful and comprehensible to the widest possible circle of experts and profile organizations working on implementation of
prevention programs, protection of interests and promotion of rights.

This research and the publication present not only territorial and multiethnic diversity, but also, and more importantly – the
diversity of personal experience. The data collected during the research is unique in its essence and has a special value, as it
reflects multitude of factors, which must be taken into account when developing preventive programs against HIV and STIs
among MSM.

Aleksey Gurkin.

10 2
Data from “HIV and MSM in Kyrgyz Republic” research, R. Oostvogels, 2005.
3
Ibid.
Instead of a prologue
“The stories…” were written based on dialogues with thirty men of Kyrgyzstan, who identify as gay and bisexual.

Out of 30 men who were interviewed: 18 men identify as gay


12 men identify as bisexual.

The men who were interviewed lived in Bishkek, Osh, Jalalabat, Talas, Karabalta cities and settlements near these cities.

Out of 30 men who were interviewed: 15 men live in Bishkek.


2 men live in Karabalta and nearby regions.
2 men live in other regions of Chuy oblast.
8 men live in Osh city and Osh oblast.
1 man lives in Jalalabat.
2 men live in Talas city and Talas oblast.

The main part of the interviews was conducted in cities, where these men live.

The ethnic composition of respondents represents majority of ethnicities living in Kyrgyzstan.

Out of 30 men who were interviewed: Kyrgyz - 6 men.


Russian - 11 men.
Uzbeks - 7 men.
Tatars - 2 men.
Uygurs - 1 man.
Kazakhs - 1 man.
Jews - 2 men.
The ages of interviewed men were from 18 to 51.
Out of 30 men who were interviewed: Under 20 - 5 men.
21-25 yrs - 10 men.
26 -30 yrs - 7 men.
31-35 yrs - 1 man.
36-40 yrs - 4 men.
41 –45 yrs - 2 ¬ men.
46- 50 yrs - 0 ¬ men.
Above 50 - 1 man.

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Research method:
Deep semi-structured interviews were conducted with all of the thirty men. The main themes of the interview were the
respondent’s life story, homosexuality and the concomitant problems and needs, life mode, sexual practices, attitude to
STIs and HIV.
The research scheme was developed by the research group.

In conditions of “closeted existence” of gay and bisexual men, most of the interviewed men were found with assistance of staff
of organizations working with this group. Some men were employees of NGOs working on protection of rights and interests of
gay and bisexual men, others were beneficiaries of these organizations, and others did not use services of these NGOs and were
found through personal contacts of the research group.

The interviews were conducted in Russian and Kyrgyz languages. The language was chosen by the respondent.

Out of 30 men who were interviewed: 23 interviews were conducted in Russian language.
7 interviews were conducted in Kyrgyz language.

All respondents were guaranteed anonymity and confidentiality.


Usage of some citations without reference to authors was agreed upon with respondents.

In an effort to keep confidentiality we inserted some minor changes into some citations to make the respondent less identifiable.
We guarantee that the meaning and main message of the citations were preserved.
The citations keep original wording and stylistics of expressions by respondents.

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Stories of
gay and bisexual men.
Kyrgyzstan.
2009 – 2010

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This story started in a usual Kyrgyzstani family – or rather in usual, Kyrgyzstani, families.
In many things those families were similar. In something they were absolutely different.
These families lived in Bishkek, Osh, Talas, Jalalabat, Karabalta. In general, in all towns, nearby regions, or in very remote
areas of Kyrgyzstan.
In the capital downtown, or on the margins of a village.
In one of the apartments of a multi-storied complex, a village house, a dormitory or a barrack.
Some were very poor, others were alright, some were quite well off…
They were big families with many children, or very small ones, or incomplete…
The atmosphere in many families was warm and friendly. In some it was completely indifferent. In others – it was like a
nightmare…
One day in each of these families a boy was born.
He was, of course, a very expected one. Or maybe not so much. Or maybe he was not expected at all.
He made those around him happy, or just glad, or…
Nonetheless he appeared.

My family - is my mom and dad. They both are engineers, a sort of a Soviet intelligentsia. Grandma. I do not remember my
grandfathers. They both died very early. My father has always drunk, as much as I remember. That’s how the problems started. Of
course, he did not beat us, but still he would wear out my mother on the kitchen with his long talks. That’s how it was. And then he left.
So my parents divorced in 94 – 95. I was twelve.

I was born on the south. My family was strictly Muslim. My father was very religious, mother – a housewife. I have brothers and sisters.

Our family was well-off, solvent. My father was a chief. My mother brought up all the children. We had many children in the family. We
lived well.

My mom lives with my step-father. My mom… there are problems with her. Right now she is drinking again…Treatment is very
expensive, 45 000. I do not have this much. I grew up with my grandma. We have a very good relationship with each other. She brought
me up. She is old now. Gets sick often. I help her as much as I can.

I was born in a kolkhoz. We have a house there. My mom and dad both worked in the kolkhoz. I have brothers and sisters. We all live in
the kolkhoz together.

My parents died when I was 8 months old. I was brought up by my grandma, my mom’s mom. I had an older brother. He died. I have
one older sister. She also grew up at the grandma’s. She got married when she was 19. My grandma and I were left to live together. It
was great to live with my grandma.

My mom worked on a factory all her life. She does not have higher education, so she had to work in places, where no higher education
was required. My mom is alive, dad died three years ago. We did not live with him and did not communicate much.

Father used to work in the highest echelons of power. I was their only child. They adored me and couldn’t
be happier. I had everything.

I come from a single mother family. She raised me and two of my younger sisters. My parents divorced
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when I was 6 or 7. We rearely saw him. He never helped us. My mom brought us up alone. She had to leave
us often as she had to earn money to manage the family. She would leave us with our relatives or her
friends. Someone would look after us, but we grew up on our own.
Out of 30 men who were interviewed (respondents):

19 grew up in a city.
11 spent their childhood in a rural area.

3 grew up in a family, where parents were farmers.


6 grew up in a family, where one of the parents was a worker, the other – white collar worker.
5 grew up in a family of white collar workers.
7 grew up in a workers’ family.
1 of the respondents grew up in a family of a religious leader.
3 respondents had parents, who were entrepreneurs or owned a small business.
One parent of 1 of respondents held a high position in local municipality.
One of the parents of 1 of respondents managed an enterprise.
One of the parents of 1 of respondents held a governmental position.
6 respondents had mothers, who were housewives.

17 men were raised in a family with a father and a mother.


5 men were raised in a family, where parents were in divorce.
4 men were raised in a family, where on of the parents died.
1 man did not know his father.
3 men have lost their parents in their childhood and were raised by relatives (two were brought up by their grandmother,
one grew up in his uncle’s family).

One of the parents of 3 men was foster.

6 men grew up in a family, where they were they only child.


10 men had a sister or a brother.
14 men had two or more siblings.

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His childhood was happy and unclouded. Or bright and colourful. Or maybe it was grey. Or he does not remember it at all…

My childhood was poor and filled with drinking. My father drank a lot. My mom left us. For eight years I lived with my father without my
mom. Dad then stopped drinking, found a good job. Grandma would cook, wash and keep up our house. I never saw my mom in those
eight years, no communication. She had no means to talk to me. I sort of knew where she lived. I talked with my father and he let me go
to mom’s place. She lived with another man. I started living with them. The step-father would punish me even if I would go out of the
house. I got sick of it. I would run off. Now I have another step-father. He is good and we have friendly relations.

I did not have a very good relationship with my brother. Not good at all. When I was six I wanted to go to a choreographic college. My
older brother took a cord and beat me up. That’s the kind of memories I have about my older brother.

I was brought up by my grandma. For a long time I thought she was my mom. She told me a lot, about her life. When I was a kid I would
ask her about many things. In my childhood I was brought up on classic literature. I had romantic ideas abut life. And I would often ask
her, for example: why did you never marry? We still keep our relationship.

I have very fragmentary memories about my childhood. I thought I did not like the kindergarten. I remember how I would squeal every
time in the mornings when I had to go there. But when my mom would leave me there, I would quiet down. I would tell tales to the
governesses there. I would say that the sky is blue because the air is grey and clouds are white, and the colors mix. Already back then
I read books at home about dinosaurs with pictures. Then I would tell about these dinosaurs, adding fictional details, and they all
listened to me attentively because knew nothing themselves.

I grew up in a village up in the mountains. I cannot say anything bad about it. I remember everything was good, I grew up in the Soviet
times. People had everything back then. The childhood was happy. Or so it seemed…

When I was a kid I was a bandit. I grew up in a mahalla4. My parents had a lot of troubles because of me…

My dad was a bit over 40 when I was born. He doted upon me. I had everything. Although I was not spoiled. I had everything. It was a
very happy childhood.

I was ill a lot in my childhood. That’s why there was hyper care on me. Every minute I had blood coming out of my nose. There were
emergency situations, ambulances, hospitals and all that. I took hormonal medicines. But in everything else my childhood was a
normal one. Usual childhood. I went out to the yard, like everybody else does. Played with my mates from morning till dusk. We had
slingshots, bows, made shelter out of branches.

I always played with dolls in my childhood. I was always bought cars, but no, I would steal dolls from my sister and play with them,
make them dresses. Everybody thought I would become a seamstress or a tailor…

16 4
Mahalla – an Uzbek yard, traditional naming of districts inhabited by Uzbek diasporas in settlements of
Kyrgyzstan.
Then he studied in a school. He did it well. Or maybe not so much. He was an activist and an all “A” student. Or he was a quiet
“C” student. He was an obedient child. Maybe sometimes he would play pranks. He did sports or danced. He was carried
away by poetry or computer games. He was different from his peers or was just like everyone else. In general – he was an
ordinary child.

At school I was very cocky. I would hang out with my mates. We would climb up some construction sites, get to the roofs. We stole
tubes and spit out stuff from it. When I was 14-15 years old I did not interact with the boys that much anymore. In my school we had a
lot of different events taking place in the assembly hall. I awfully loved Natasha Korolyova5, and I performed – would cross dress and
sing “Yellow Tulips”. My friends took it alright. Nobody said: “You’re like a girl”. But strangers and other people would… Already then
everybody knew about “goluboi6”, they’d shout at me. The attitude of other people changed to me, but not my friends’. I wanted to sing, I
wanted to dance, I liked it. It was just creativity for me.

The school I remember more or less. First of all, the school was a good one. It was an experimental one. A lot of things came from the
Soviet system, of course. It was the 90s. But a lot of the things were different already. We had a WAC class – World Arts Culture. Instead
of dull “Labour” class we would go to the station of young technicians and carve out something, saw up, do pokerwork. Of course it was
interesting there. And of course I loved my school. I studied well. I adored history, adored all the things like “Human and Society” classes.
I read history textbooks like fiction books, like novels. When I was five I was sent to ballroom dancing classes – “to improve my posture”.
I carried dancing with me to the last grade of high school. Dancing is what I really got high on. Some guys did sports, and I danced.
Dancing – also has quite a heavy physically demanding component. I started learning playing the fortepiano and cello, which I did
for four years, and even passed couple of exams. At the same time I still ran around the yard with my mates. I was interested in playing
with both girls and boys. The girls would mix and play with boys in all kinds of catch-and-go games. We had an active street life. When
we started growing up we could just sit and talk. The kids were separate from us, and we were all grown up and serious. Even tried to
smoke, I remember.

In the mornings before school, I and my sister, and our mom would go with us as well, would go to work in the garden, early-early
mornings. Then we would go to school. After lunch we worked there again. Each of us had a plot there – three hectares. When we
grew up a bit and were in the 10th grade, we’d process the plot. I never missed classes. Dad and sister would say: “What do you need
this school for?” But I still did not miss the classes. Nobody could tell it was hard. I enjoyed working… In the field there is a lot of work,
according to seasons. We would also go to bazaars to sell things. My mom baked bread and I managed to help her as well. It was hard
labor.

I did sports, actively at that. I got to candidate for master of sports in athletics.

There was a period once when I stopped going to school at all, because I got carried away with computer games. I missed half a year. I
said that older guys were persecuting me, so I stopped going to school.

Notable Russian pop-star, especially popular in the late 90s among youths with her sex appeal.
5

Slang Russian word for identifying gay men, literally meaning colour blue.
6 17
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

12 men informed that they studied with grades ”A” and ”B”.
2 did athletics.
1 did boxing.
1 went to a ballroom dancing club.
2 studied in a musical school.
3 studied foreign languages.
1 was selected deputy secretary of the Komsomol organization.
1 lived in a madrasah and read namaz.
1 had a great interest in science fiction.
1 wrote poems.
1 started making clothing.
2 did painting.
6 most of their free time spent in the yard.
2 all of their free time helped their parents in field work.

Six men already in school encountered lack of understanding, boycotting and one or another level of homophobic intolerance
of expressions of their sexual orientation, which was not always known even to them.

“The fate of young gays and lesbians is significantly more difficult than the situation of representatives of any other racial,
national or cultural minority. If… child has difficulties or is persecuted because of his/her skin color, accent or nationality – that
child can go to his/her parents, who bear the same stigma, talk to them and receive if not help, then at least some comfort.
Parents of a young gay or lesbian often are just as prejudiced as their classmates. …The teenager perceives him/herself as an ugly
duckling, the only one in the whole world.”[3]7

18 Here and further in the text we use citations from sources, a list of which is available in the section “Sources, which
7

we cite”, page 82
He is studying now. Or working. Or maybe he has not found himself yet…
He has a profession already. Or maybe is still in the process. Or even maybe he is a professional known in his business and
has a career now. Possibly he has achieved everything already. Or maybe it is all still ahead of him…

I finished Politech8, work as a software engineer on a factory for 12 hours, three days and three nights.

I have a medical education. I work in a clinic, teach, consult. How can you live on one salary? So I run around as I can.

I got into a technical college two years ago and am studying to become an electrical engineer.

I study in a university. I stopped going there now. I am tumbling down. It’s not interesting, too lazy. I want a different profession,
something simpler. It could be assembling cabinet furniture. I have to study for three more years. I might not graduate. They wrote a
report on dismissing me. I am upset, of course.

I worked before. I had my own business. Everything that I do I love to madness. Any kind of a work. I think that if I even were a street-
cleaner – I would clean it up so well, would decorate it all up. I do not fear any kind of a work. As a result any work brings me pleasure
and financial well being. Before there was “Oasis”9. There was work, clubbing. Now I am a “grandma on retirement”. Every day I have
meetings. Some people come, others go. On Saturdays and holidays I dance in a show. That’s it.

When I was 19 a gay club entered my life. I started earning on the side there by dancing. I earned money to rent an apartment, for life,
food and clothing. I started participating in a show. I worked like that for three years. But when I became 22 I stopped. I did not like it. For
me the process of cross dressing… It was excruciating. I did not feel like a woman. I cannot be like that. I am a man.

I went to hairdressing courses and graduated from there. Now I work in a Beauty Centre as a stylist.

After graduation from school I was taken to army. I served for 3 years in Russia in the military-marine corps. After coming back I entered
a technical college. I have a specialization. As for work – what kind of a work can there be? Everybody is on the markets. So do I. There I
do trade, have my own business. What I earn is enough for living. I always have money on me.

I finished a vocational lyceum. I am a chef. I have been working for 11 years in different cafes. Now I also work as a chef.

I have two higher educations. Currently I work as a journalist, deputy chief editor. People know and respect me at work.

I have a higher education. I know languages. Work. I have a business. Together with my business partner we own a few fully functioning
companies with more than 20 employees.

In my short life I have changed so many professions. I have worked in restaurant business, worked in real estate business. I’ve computer
skills, worked as an IT-specialist. I study “Economics, accountancy and audit”.

I have a Western education. Both BA and MA degrees. I teach at a university now.

8
Polytechnical University
9
“Oasis” - HIV/AIDS prevention and care NGO known as the first gay organization in Kyrgyzstan. Apart from that
there was an LGBT club of the same name (mentioned further in the text). Another meeting place among the gay
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community was the “Ramzes” disco-club (see text).
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

10 have higher education.


6 continue their education at universities.
2 have left their universities.
7 have secondary specialized education.
4 have only secondary education.
1 still has not graduated from school.

9 men are employed by their profession.


10 men have jobs unconnected with their specialization.
2 do not work yet, as they are still studying.
2 do not work and do not study.
3 are entrepreneurs.
5 men combine their studies and work.
6 work on two and more jobs.

Five of the interviewed men have, at least once in their life, encountered difficulties connected to their sexual orientation in
their studies or at work. Three of them have lost jobs because of this. Other men were subjected to mockery and degrading
comments.

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He is already earning hundreds of dollars. Or maybe gets by from stipend to stipend. He is helping his parents. Or he can
borrow some from his mom until the next salary…
He has his own business. Or is receiving humanitarian help…

Right now I am only working in a project. My salary is 2500 som after all taxes are paid. 600 som from this amount I spend on
transportation. I cannot rent an apartment even if shared with someone else. So I am fed and clothed by my parents. I live with my
parents. My salary is enough for the transportation and lunches at work.

I earn myself for my expenses or borrow some from my dad. I used to earn on the side, but it is very hard to find a job, which would allow
combining. I do not have a stipend.

I have my own flat. Everything is how I wanted. I do not work now. My savings will cover the rest of my life.

I work on an hourly rate. I teach. You get what you have earned working. Before, the top category pedagogues received 80 something
soms (per hour – I.V.), then it was cancelled and everybody regardless of their category was to receive around 50 soms. This year it is 28
soms. It’s absolutely nothing. But I am not leaving that place. First of all, I get length of service there, plus stable salary, and of course,
experience.

Sometimes our net profit would get up to ten thousands of dollars for two. We tried not to spend that money, invest into new business,
improve, and expand. We left some for the most necessary things – to go to a café or a restaurant sometimes, to buy something for
ourselves. Now everything is invested in business.

I am on a wage. I get about 5-6 thousand soms. When I get the salary, I always set aside some for food and cigarettes. Sometimes it is
enough, but at other times – it is not. So you borrow some until next salary, and you run around like that all the time. Still it is expensive
to rent an apartment. Right now I live in a shelter10. I use NGO services – free medical help, analyses.

My salary depends on how much I do. One item costs from 2 to 3 thousand soms. Assuming I make 2 or 3 of them in a week, I get 5-6
thousand in a week. If I make only one, then I get only 2-2,5 thousand. It depends on how much I do.

I live with my parents at home. My parents help me as I do not work. I study. Every day they give me 50 – 100 soms as pocket money.

10
Shelter for those, who were left homeless due to homophobia and discrimination, provided by LGBT organization
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“Labrys”.
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

7 men have income which is below the average living minimum in Kyrgyzstan11.
12 men have income that is above the average living minimum in Kyrgyzstan.
The monthly income of 5 men constantly changes and may be below or above the average living minimum.
6 men are helped by their parents, or they live with parents.
8 men have means to satisfy most of their basic needs.

4 independently buy protection packages (condoms).


18 men receive condoms within the frame of preventive work of NGOs.
11 men use free services provided by NGOs.

3 were living in the shelter during the interviews period.


6 sometimes use the shelter.

22 The average living minimum in Kyrgyzstan in 2009 was – 3571 soms (approximately USD 80). Information of
11

National Statistics Committee of Kyrgyz Republic.


One day, maybe very long ago, or not so long ago, he understood something very important about himself.
One day he understood that he likes persons of the same sex, or maybe persons of both sexes.

I knew it from my childhood times, always knew it. For the first time I fell in love with my classmate at school. We were friends with him.
Later it all began. We communicated for a long time. He did not become gay, he got married. I also did not identify at once. Or rather,
I knew for sure I was gay, but I tried to be like everyone else, tried to become “straight”. I tried it with a woman. I needed it to determine
myself. A teenager must try everything to decide what he needs…

I always liked guys. But still, I thought I would marry and would have kids. And that, this was just a temporary passion. I wanted to find
someone else like me, just a friend. I did not think back then that we had a gay community. Maybe at least one other person like me
could be in this city, I thought. It does not matter what age he would be, nationality, fat or thin – anything, as long as he is like me. And
so I searched for 15 years. When I became 35 I finally found. According to gay standards – it was quite late…

The understanding came to me when I was 16 or 15. I know a lot of gay men, who liked their school desk-mate or classmate. I never had
anything like that. No attraction at all. But when HE appeared in my life, I realized everything. Before that I never thought about this…

Well, it started about 2.5 or 3 years ago – I started noticing a certain interest I had towards guys. When I was a sophomore in the
university, one day I went to an online dating engine, and looked for these profiles, just for interest. I found 300 profiles! I was amazed.
Holy cow, so many people of non-traditional orientation… I am not alone!

I was studying in the fourth grade when I first fell in love. He was older. I loved him, just loved him. Not as a friend or a close one. I did not
even think why I loved a boy, not a girl. I had no other thoughts – I just wanted to see him, talk to him. All the time I thought only about
him, and then I realized that I liked boys. I did not think back then that now my whole life would be like that – that I would have to hide,
hide myself from my parents, suffer. I did not think what was expecting me…

I understood it when I was 14-15, I think. When I was a child I did not think I liked boys. Maybe I did not notice that myself. Later on when
the teenage years started, something happened to me. I was interested in a man. I would always think: “My god, what’s happening?”
Then I understood what happened to me. I thought I was sick back then.

Well, I don’t know, assume I do not distinguish myself. I have my own point of view on these things. My view is that I am a person with
expanded horizons. I mean, I do not select a person based on their racial belongings, or religious beliefs, or their sex and so on. I select
a personality. If I like this personality, I start a relationship with them – if I do not like this personality, then I don’t. I choose a person by
their intellect and personal qualities – tenderness, understanding, kindness.

I did not have a moment of realization. I get this question a lot. The question usually sounds like this: “When did you realize you were
gay?” Thanks, I always knew it. I just didn’t know it was called that. I scanned a flow of information. I was searching. I was looking for
some films, searching for information. All cultural mentionings – in mass media or elsewhere I tried to find them at some point in time.
And I guess I scanned this flow of information so eagerly probably because I understood there were so few of us. I never had a thought
that I was alone. I perfectly knew there were others. The question was – how to find them.

23
The interviews were conducted with men, who have determined their sexual orientation and identify as gay and bisexual.

Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

Identify as gay -18.


Identify as bisexual -12.

When talking about their orientation,

2 say they “always knew it”.


2 have informed they were attracted to boys since pre-school age.
2 understood they liked boys in elementary school.
5 understood they liked boys in secondary school.
7 say they realized their attractions in age 14-16.
6 have realized their attractions after they were 17 years old.
6 understood they were homo- and/or bisexual after they were 18 years old.

17 respondents became aware of their sexual orientation prior to their first sexual experience.

9 men have become aware of their attraction towards men when they first fell in love with them.

24
This amazed him. Or maybe made him glad. Or maybe it terrified him - he felt ashamed or afraid.
But he started living with it and getting in terms with the fact he was gay. Or bisexual.

I was 21 years old, I have already realized who I was. I did not deny that. I started working on myself so people outside would not point
fingers at me. It was very hard for me, I constantly thought about suicide, because this was also connected to religion. Now I’m used to
the fact that I’m gay, and now it is much easier for me. It became easier in my communication with friends and people. I did not deny it.

Sometimes I ask myself: “Why me?”.

I did not know people had negative attitudes to that. I thought it was normal. Only sometimes a man could be called “goluboi”.
Regarding my attractions I never had personal conflicts. I never had an aspiration to change my orientation. I thought: “I’d never want
to be ‘straight’.” I am comfortable with who I am. I developed personally, aspired, changed. I never had a problem with self-acceptance
when it comes to orientation. But I never was surrounded by homophobia, never heard any comments, or felt any aggression. Until
certain age. At some point I already knew how bad people felt about it.

Why did I become like this? I have a house, wife, children, my mom. The fact that I have children and my wife protects me. But still 60-
70% of those around me think I am “goluboi”. We tell the young ones: “Marry. When you have a wife and children, you will be protected”.

Of course, in the beginning it was horrible. I withdrew into myself, thought a lot. I lived in a world I created myself. I was very ashamed.
When I had my first relationship… I guess I needed them to understand myself. We were together for a long time. We had love. We had
everything. And I managed to understand myself. Since then it was all clear. Since then it’s alright. I live and that’s it. I don’t hide and
don’t pretend. Ii don’t suffer, absolutely. I completely accept myself.

The society does not accept us. It is very hard to live with our (country) mentality. They do not accept us. You always stand out in the
crowd, like a “rara avis”. I tell the young ones not to stand out in the mahalla. Otherwise people will start saying that you’re “goluboi”. It
is bad to live a gay life here. Sometimes I wish I could leave to Russia and live there as I want.

I was very afraid and still am that somebody might find out. I have worked too much and achieved a lot to risk everything.

I guess I still would like to be normal. Have a family. But you cannot change yourself. You are who you are. But still, I would like to…

The first time it was very hard. I fought with myself. I thought why am I like this? I also wanted to find a guy with whom I could live like
a family. But I was afraid how my family would react to that. And also of the cruelty of people. I also had a fear if I will be able to find a
guy, how and where to meet him. Now I do not have fears like that like in my childhood… Internally I am even glad I am gay. But now I
am worried about my old age. First of all, I will not have a family, and so I am 100% sure I will not have kids. Maybe if I find someone to
live together with in the future it might all change. Maybe I’ll live with him till old age, like a lot of our couples like that.

25
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

Have not experienced serious internal discomfort regarding their orientation – 3 men.
Have experienced internal discomfort, but currently fully accept themselves – 12.
Feel internal discomfort of various intensity – 15 men.
For 3 of them this question is still very relevant and causes suffering.
For 12 - the discomfort connected with their self-identification is less relevant today (they have “submitted to it”).

Three men mentioned they wished things were different.

For all men the main cause of their internal homophobia was the society’s attitude, lack of understanding by their closest ones,
impossibility to live openly, and fear of homophobic actions by those around them.
Some of them also mentioned religious intolerance of homosexuality as one of the reasons.

“As a consequence of upbringing and societal influence, which inculcates that sexual interest towards persons of the same sex is
bad and unnatural, many lesbians and gays felt guilty and ashamed of their sexual feelings.” [6]

“Negative feelings towards one’s own sexual orientation may become generalized and seriously influence one’s world view. This
may be expressed through a wide range of signs – from inclination to perceiving one’s self as inferior due to negative attitude of
the surrounding people, to marked loathing of one’s self and self-destructive behavior” (Gonsiorec & Rudolph, 1991). [6]

“If young gay and bisexual men are burdened about their sexuality, it is possible that during sexual contacts they will not take
any measures to protect themselves. Lowered self-appraisal impedes the expression of their persistence and fidelity to principles
when discussing the necessity of safer sex means with their partners”. [6]

“Refusal to accept one’s own sexual orientation maybe bring to isolation and risky anonymous sex”. [4]

“Refusal to accept one’s own sexual identity among homosexuals as a result of internalized homophobia, the associated fear of
coming out12 and being subjected to stigma and discrimination are one of the widely known obstacles to HIV-testing. [4]

26
“Coming out of the closet” – disclosing one’s sexual orientation.
12
One day he fell in love.

I used to go to theatre back then. He was acting there. I sat somewhere on the second row. And he kept on looking at me all the time. I
would smile. He would smile. Then immediately after the play was over he came up to me. We left the theatre together. That night we
had everything. We were together for 7 years. It really was love – on my side and his side. We both got married. But we kept on seeing
each other. Then he left. We broke up. But when we met again, it was just like before. But I didn’t want it. Suffering again, torments.

I was 18 or maybe a bit more. We met and got acquainted. Then we started to communicate. One and a half weeks we just talked. Then
I started visiting him as a guest, he did as well. Then I realized that I loved him, and that’s it. I remember the first kiss. I didn’t even know
what it was, didn’t know how to kiss. He offered me to become his partner. I did not think long – I agreed. I don’t remember the sex at
all – I remember how much I loved him. That happiness, that fairy tale, lasted for two years. You love. He was beautiful, smart, ideal.
Sometimes we would quarrel. I thought it would last forever. But his father told him: “You must get married”. His father’s friend had a
daughter, and he had a son. He would tell him that he is his only son, that he must. His dad even set a date for the marriage. He offered
me to keep meeting. He had a flat. I didn’t want to share him with anyone, so I offered him to break up. His parents offered me to be the
groomsman, but I refused and didn’t go to the ceremony. It was a horrible time. I was screwed. He kept on wanting to see me – before
and after marriage. But I couldn’t, I told him I didn’t love him anymore. Then they left. I couldn’t forget him for three years. I didn’t look
for anyone, didn’t want anything. I just worked during daytime and left home in the evenings. I ran from everybody. I stayed on my own
and felt how much I was lonely. I will never have anything again.

There used to be a newspaper called “Blitz-info”. There were ads – “a guy is looking for a guy”. I wrote and wrote and wrote there. I
waited. But no answer would come. I was already 15. Then some guy calls me. We meet and he becomes my first boyfriend. He would
come meet me after school. It was such a love. I would run to call him from public phones, we’d have some misunderstandings… I
couldn’t call from my home line. By and large it was a stormy passion. He was my first boyfriend and first sexual partner.

My friend was having a graduation party. It was taking place in a hotel. That’s where we met each other. I was sitting alone at the
bar and he came up to me. We got acquainted, started talking. He took my phone number. Then he started calling me. We talked on
the phone at nights. I started having troubles at the university because we talked at nights. He gave me books to read. We discussed
literature. He became a very-very close person for me, someone so necessary like air. If for some reason he wouldn’t call me, it was like
a disaster for me. I was 16 and he was 29. He came to me on my birthday and we left for a hotel. We just sat on the bed and talked, and
then he kissed me. Nothing happened that night, but I had a hysterical fit. Maybe I’ve already thought about it, maybe I just wasn’t
ready. Then I moved over to his place.

This phase started when I was 16. I became interested in one guy. I came to a bus stop on purpose and got into the same bus as he did.
We started talking. Went around for walks, then started kissing, then walked around again, and kissed again. We went out for a year.
We met every day. He was studying in 10th grade. His grandma knew about us and treated me as his boyfriend. She was alright with us.
Then his grandma died and he left to live with his parents. First he wrote messages to me, then disappeared.

For 9 men their sexual orientation became clear when they first fell in love.

27
One day in his life he had his first sex. Perhaps he was waiting for it for a long time and searched for it. Or maybe it was
unexpected. Or at all – against his will.

I was 14. My father had a driver. It was with him. He would stare at me, coax me. He would teach me everything. I had my first sex with
him. The first time it was not too good, of course. But afterwards I liked it. We’ve been together for a long time. Then I left to study in
another city.

It was in the village. He was my brother’s friend. We talked. Went to a bath-house together. He’d flirt with me and I would flirt with him.
My first experience was with him. It was a desired sex. We went out for one or 1.5 years. I loved him terribly. I would constantly tell him:
“Let’s go to Holland. Save up some money and leave. They have same-sex marriages there”. I was 22-23 years old. He was one year
younger. He was married and I suffered a lot because of it. I was jealous of his wife. I lived like that for 1.5 years.

He was my boyfriend and we were going out then. I heard how people would tell how much they feared of anal sex, especially in a
passive role. I was not afraid of anything. The first time we had both oral and anal sex. I knew there were STIs. But that was somewhere
over there. I didn’t even think about HIV at all. The sex was unprotected, of course. In the gay community, here? I don’t think many had
protected sex back then. Although, it was already 1999. Anyway, first sex – I had a passive role. It didn’t hurt. The sex gave me pleasure. I
was so psychologically ready then. I was 15 at that time.

I created a profile for myself, came up with an online nickname. Didn’t put up my photo just in case. The same day I went back there
to see who was online. It was really interesting for me. Then I wrote to someone, and we exchanged our phone numbers at once. We
started talking, talking for hours. Then we met. First we sat in a café, then went off. I was ashamed; I never had sex with a guy before.
Then we f..ked. It did hurt a little. But I liked it.

My first sexual experience happened when I was 26-27, quite late by gay standards. Before, I did have something like that when I was
14. It wasn’t sex, something childish. The real sex happened after so many years. I wanted to try it already. And I had to get clear with
myself. Who am I? Then I had my first man. He was much older than me. He had a family. And I wasn’t his first one. He taught me
everything. I liked the sex. I thought about it for a long time, fantasized. I knew what I wanted. Most of all I wanted to try out the passive
role. I liked it. Since then I am always more the passive one. That’s how it’s called. I liked it a lot with him. I loved him a lot. He also loved
me. I initiated our breaking up. I wanted us to. But he remains an etalon to me. Since then I always look for guys who are like him.

I was invited to work in a café. A young guy was also working there. I already knew I was not the only gay. I asked him out to my flat, I
don’t have parents. He agreed. We came to my place. We sat and drank a bit. I was scared of starting it. The first time – you don’t know
anything. I said: “Do you know why I invited you?” He said: “I understood what for.” I asked him if he had an experience with boys.
He: “Yes, I’ve had.” So I tell him that it is my first time. I want it, but I don’t know how. He’s like: “It’s alright, it’ll be okay now.” So that’s
how I had sex with him. He’s a great guy, he did it all so accurately. I didn’t understand myself who I was, what I want. And when it all
happened, I realized. That was what I wanted, what I needed. I understood that I liked it. No disgust. These were my desires. That was
what I was looking for in my life. And that’s it. We saw each other for another half a year then.

28
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

5 started leading an active sexual life before they were 16.


16 started their active sexual life around age of 16-18.
9 men started their active sexual life after they were 18.

Most of respondents’ first sexual partners were of the same sex with them.

13 of them already had first sexual contact before that (singular or unsystematic, usually trial ones without penetrating sex).
All 13 men had it before they came of age.
7 of them had it before they were 14.

The first sexual experience of 10 of them was with their peers, and was based on a teenage sexual interest, mutual attraction or
desire to receive sexual pleasure.
Three had sexual experience with older men, in two cases it was forced, and one was initiated by an older man.

5 men had minimal information about safer sexual behavior, which they received within the framework of school courses on
healthy life style and other sources.

First sexual experience and first full-fledged sex was protected (using condoms) in 2 of the overall interviewed men.

On the territory of Kyrgyzstan majority of prevention programs concerned with informing about safer sex and sexual risks are
accompanied by distribution of safer sex packages and are available to young men aged 18 and more.

29
He is gay. He is bisexual. He wanted to tell people about that. Or be silent. So nobody would find out about it, ever. He was
looking for support. Or wanted to share it with his close ones. Maybe he wanted to hide it from everybody. But it did not
work. Or maybe he was not hiding it from anyone. He just lived the way he wanted to.
They found out about it… and understood him. Or maybe they found out about it, and turned away from him.

When my family found out about it, it was very difficult. They thought they had to treat me. They searched for ways to make me stop
meeting other guys. My mom understood me. She said: “You are the way you are, and there is nothing we can do about it.” She is like my
friend, we shared everything. My father still doesn’t want to think about it. They’ve become more alright with this, but still they think I’ll
get married. Right now everybody knows who I am. Even if they start sniggering at me, I don’t care. If I say I’m gay, I say it proudly. The
society must accept me the way I am. I’m not a drug user or a drunkard to point fingers at me.

I always hid this from everyone and still do. I don’t want anyone to know. I was terribly scared and still am that somebody might find
out.

My sister found out. She lives in the south. Someone called her and told her everything. She was upset. She said: “Live as you want,
just don’t disgrace us. Go.” Of course, she was afraid her husband would find out, was ashamed. Now it is alright. She accepted me.
The husband knows as well, and also accepted me. We communicate. Never there was any word of reproach or mockery. They have
kids. They never prohibited me to play with them. I can come there any time I want. I can communicate with kids. All’s good. I guess
everybody knows or guesses. But I don’t prove anything to anyone. I don’t pretend to be “straight”. I live as I want.

Actually, my mom realized I liked boys even before I decided to tell her. But she didn’t discuss it with me. And then when I moved over to
HIS place – it was all clear then. There it was – my boyfriend and we live together. She would come visit us. Later I asked her how she felt.
She said it was difficult in the beginning. After all she had a Soviet upbringing. But later she understood it was not my problem, but hers.
She started searching around the Internet, started reading articles, books. She came to understanding it was a normal thing on her
own.

If right now my father finds out I’m gay he’ll shoot me at once. We were watching TV and somehow started talking about it. I started
defending that people, like that exist. And my dad said that if anything – the carabine is on the wall.

We keep on having falling outs with my mom right now. One woman, which was on one of our trainings, told my mom that I work with
an MSM group. And said that it’s bad, that I might get spoiled. My mom doesn’t know what MSM means, but now thinks it’s a bad thing
and all. Now every day she tells me to leave this job and that she’ll find me another one. She thinks I’ll go bad, too.

When everything happened, I came home and told everything to my grandma… I came up to her and said openly: “I’m goluboi.” She
cried for a long time. But she told me one thing for which I am thankful, something that warms up my heart. She said: “I’m a muslim
woman, I am very religious, it’s a great sin. But whatever happens – you’re my child. I will not applaud, but if anything happens I will
always support you, I will never leave you.”

30
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:
The sexual orientation of 10 of them is known to their families.
Among them:
1 man who has both parents disclosed his sexual orientation only to his mother. Parents of 1 man know both. Mothers of 4
men know, but their fathers “did not live to the day”. 2 of them are certain that even if their father was alive they would not
have told him anyway.
1 man told about his sexual orientation to his grandmother, who accepted and supports him.
2 men have wives, who know about their orientation (1 marriage is registered, another is a civic union), and for whom the road
to accepting their husbands’ sexual orientation was a difficult one, but finally, they provide them support.
Of 24 men, who have siblings, 7 have brothers or sisters, who know about their sexual orientation.
10 men think their parents or their family members have guesses about their sexual orientation.
20 men have a narrow circle of those informed, mostly consisting of community members.
The place of work of 2 is not in any way connected to LGBT, HIV or human rights, but at work they do not encounter
discrimination based on their sexual orientation.
8 men think that someone has suspicions about their sexual orientation at work or place of study.
9 men say that they do not hide their sexual orientation, but they also do not parade it.
4 men have experience of conscious public coming out, which was connected to their work and was not negative.
8 men had difficulties in their relationships with parents or family members, who found out about their sexual orientation.
3 men at least for a time have lost relationships with one of their family members after they found out
the men’s sexual orientation.
4 men have lost relationships with friends, who did not accept them because of their sexual orientation.
5 men have had difficulties in their work or study relationships because of their sexual orientation.
5 men were subjected to mockery and humiliation by their close ones after disclosing their sexual orientation.
3 men have suffered physical aggression by their close ones after disclosing their sexual orientation.
Relatives of 3 men wanted to send them to a psychiatrist.
3 men did not have negative consequences of coming out.
11 men were glad that in the end their relatives accepted them even knowing their sexual orientation.

31
5 men have heterosexual friends who, after finding out about their sexual orientation, remained friends.
The disclosure of sexual orientation of two men before their relatives was a forced one.
For both this coming out was very painful and caused unpleasant consequences connected with deterioration of their
relationships with their close ones.
16 men would like their sexual orientation to be never disclosed to their close ones.
5 men are afraid that consequences of disclosing their sexual orientation to relatives would be catastrophic.

“Often young men feel contradicting feelings trying to determine whether it is worth demonstrating their homosexuality to
parents and other relatives. Some try to hide it, leaving at that time newspapers and books with homosexual content in their
rooms, and even posting gay calendars above their beds… Parents need remarkable composure, so as not to express their
attitude towards homosexuals in their communication with the young man. In order to preserve internal balance a teenage
homosexual needs to solve somehow the contradiction he is tormented with between the need to hide what might appear to
others as “unhealthy”, bad and dangerous, and the desire to receive support and approval of people closest to him.” [6]

“Cramer and Roach (Cramer & Roach, 1988) in the course of their research on predispositions of young men, who have
“discovered” themselves as gay, determined that parents with a rigid, traditional system of values with regards to sexual behavior,
may change their views if it concerns their son. On the other hand, a son, who knows about liberal views of his parents, may be
unpleasantly surprised by their negative reaction to his attempt to inform them about his homosexuality, because even parents
like that not always are ready to “digest” this information. Nevertheless, after some time most parents are capable of accepting
the homosexuality of their child.” [6]

“Petty control, surveillance, visits to semiliterate psychiatrists (a true specialist would never undertake “changing” someone’s
sexual orientation) may poison a teenager’s life, force him to lie and hide, and even commit suicide, but no one will feel better
from it.” [3]

“True parental wisdom in a dramatic life situation is in showing tolerance and understanding their son or daughter, in accepting
them as they see themselves, and supporting them in this hardest moment of their life. The youth’s self-respect under risk, which
all the other psychological characteristics of a personality stem from, depends from parental help more than from anything else.
[3]

32
The society had an ambiguous attitude towards persons like him, and sometimes there were stories. Different ones. Some
of them were quite unpleasant. Other stories were just plain horrible. Sometimes they happened to him. Sometimes they
happened to his friends and acquaintance. Sometimes he only heard about such stories.

It happened in December. A guy was stopped by militia. Out of nothing they start checking for documents. He didn’t have any. He’s a bit
feminine, mannered – so they got it immediately. They said: “You’re gay, aren’t you? Let’s go to your parents now.” They demanded eight
thousand soms.

Last year I told my classmates about MSM. They listened to me and then beat me up, saying I should never tell them about MSM. There
were 17 of them. I wrote a claim against them. It was accepted, but then cops came and told me not to come up to them and talk about
MSM with them. They paid 12,000 soms for my treatment and the case was closed. I had two ribs broken and brain concussion.

There was once, but at least I did not suffer too much. At work one guy got into my inbox and saw my registration on a forum, and that’s
it – talks and jokes started around me. But directly they wouldn’t tell me anything. I treated this as an experience that I would have to go
through one day. I didn’t leave my job because of that. With time our communication got better. Although in the beginning it affected
them, but later they got to know me better.

A bunch of scum was shouting after me: “Gay boy!”. Thanks to the girl band “Tatu”13 for some cultural changes. That song was really
popular back then. Instead of yelling: “faggot”, as they would usually do, they yelled: “Gay boy!”

There’s an awful lot of stories like that – in my life. I was in a hospital for three months with a broken jaw. I was attacked. I went out of
the club. Right behind the gates they got me. I only saw their boots. Usually SG’s14 wear them.

Mainly they beat you. Like, here’s a “faggot”, “goluboi”. I was an open one and my hairdo was all colors of the rainbow. Most probably
people didn’t like that. Of course, nobody likes us.

Of course, it’s not easy living here. Constantly someone’s yelling something, pointing fingers. A lot of things happened. But that was
before. Now they’ve stopped getting at me. They know I can respond. So they’ve stopped meddling with me. I can stand up for myself.

I was working with one girl. She knew. One time we sat in one company, where she said I was gay. There were guys there, a lot of
them. Some said: “Hey, live as you want”. But another huge one, about two meters high, caught me and threw me at the wall. I left
then. Sometimes I see those guys and they start: “Let’s go behind the corner, we’ll talk”. If they have an opportunity to beat me – they
won’t miss it. If they can kill me – they will. When they see me they start whispering to each other. After this it got even worse. I started
getting calls like: “Give us this much money”. That girl also told everyone at work. They started persecuting me. I wanted to commit
suicide because of this whole story. It was nine in the evening, winter. I was standing on a bridge, wanted to jump off. I don’t know why I
changed my mind. I felt bad for my mom. She wouldn’t have survived it.

13
“Tatu” – a famous Russian girl band, with rumors about their lesbian relation around them. Had some
songs on alternative sexuality themes.
33
14
Security guards.
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

7 men were victims of hate crimes (suffering physical or sexual violence based on homophobia).
5 after this had to be treated in hospital or as outpatients.
2 of them have turned with this to militia.
In none of the cases the criminals were called to account for.
3 men have told they were exposed to discrimination by law enforcement officers. In one of the cases there was also physical
and sexual violence.
9 men have told they have never suffered physical aggression, but at the same time there were situations in their life when
they were subjected to verbal aggression (in the form of threats and offences, etc).
7 denied having experienced homophobic aggression, but told stories about homophobic comments, dirty jokes and
degrading statements yelled behind their backs.
4 have not experienced homophobia personally, but have witnessed such stories.
16 men are apprehensive of, and even fear demonstrations of homophobia.

“Stigmatization of certain lifestyles and behavioral practices in different cultures of the world has brought to what made
consequences of HIV/AIDS epidemic so dramatic. It was possible to avoid such consequences if only society and state institutes
demonstrated greater tolerance towards the needs of communities.” [5]

34
It is possible that sexual violence has also happened in his life. Or maybe it never happened to him. Or maybe he was always
afraid of it. Or he never thought about it. Or he never had any fears regarding it…

They tried to rape me once, but nothing happened. We were sitting and drinking beer. It was summer, dark, all drunk. We started having
fun, two guys knew I was gay. They tried to bind me up, but they failed.

I was coming home from work – had to go through a small grove. Someone attacked me from behind. I didn’t even expect it. He had a
knife and said: “If you yell, you’ll be dead”. He was around 30, I was 17. He didn’t take anything from me, didn’t steal money – but raped
me. I guess he was following me. I worked till 11 in the evening. I didn’t even pay attention when he was walking behind. So he attacked
me. It was very cruel how he did it. Later I went to a doctor, went to a psychiatrist. I was afraid of going to work. There was fear. But the
main thing is – I stayed alive. Then it all just settled down inside.

I went with my parents to relatives. I was sleeping in the car. Their neighbor woke up, he was about 22-23 years old. He took me by the
hand and brought me behind the corner. He asked me: “If I tell you something, will you agree?”, and came tumbling over me. I wanted to
break away from him, but he was big, and I was in 5th grade then. I knew what he was doing. He took my pants down and…

When I was 12 years old I was raped by 11th grade guys. They stood near the bathroom when I went inside. They caught me and started
tearing my clothes off. There were five of them, they held me by the hands and legs. They took turns to rape me. I couldn’t yell because
they closed my mouth, and they also were on the watch. They forced me to take it in the mouth, raped me without condoms. After they
were finished I felt I had anal breakages. After this violence I had psychological disturbances. I didn’t want to talk to anybody, didn’t go
to school for a year.

Militia detained us a lot. Cops would arrest us even though we show them our IDs. And there they’d start it: “So who are you? Like
‘golubie’ or what?” Or they’d taunt us: “Show us how you have sex”. It was like that with me and my friend once. They shot videos of it on
their phones. First they beat us up and we were scared. We couldn’t do it because we were so afraid and all that. They made videos of it
on their cell phones. Then they would take a hammer, put a condom over it, and shove it inside us. Yes, they’re very cruel, taunt us.”

Four men have suffered sexual violence. Two of them experienced it before coming of age.
Violence against two was connected to their sexual orientation.

35
He felt vulnerable. Or he was self-confident. Something gave him confidence. Or maybe he found ways to defend himself
from the cruel world. He lived an open life. Or he lived a double life.

Everybody here divides into different groups, everybody communicates within these small groups. They don’t greet each other, they
sort of pretend they don’t know each other.

There’s family, work. That’s one life. There’s also another life. We don’t have gay clubs, of course. It’s not possible to have a club like that
here. It’s the mentality here. Almost everyone’s married. You can’t be open. Before people would even come to the office only when
it’s dark, so nobody would see. At daytime nobody wanted to. When you live like that – it’s a double life. You hide something here,
something there. There you have a family, you’re a respect man, have a job. Here you have a gay scene.

I don’t live in peace at all. Only in fear, waiting. I don’t know what to do with my mom. What if my parents find out? It’d be the end of
everything. At the same time I can’t live any other way. Maybe I should get married already so things would settle down. And then – I’d
have to conceal everything anyway…

There’s not a day, when I can walk in the streets peacefully. Yes, I don’t look like everybody else. So what? I can’t be any different. So
you either have to try and be like everybody else, don’t show off – or be yourself and always be afraid. So I’m afraid. I just try not to go
anywhere without any specific need…

Marriage is to hide yourself from parents, from society. I managed that, so that’s how it got concealed.

Your sexuality is an intimate part of your life. It’s your personal business. I don’t parade with a banner, but I don’t make a secret out of
it either. It’s common sense. You have to evaluate the situation and not pine about. There are people who think: “I will challenge the
whole world. I will tell each and ever person that I’m gay. And if they don’t understand it, that’s their problem”. If they don’t accept that –
it’s alright. But they can also kick a hell out of you. It would be better if they thought of doing something that would really make people
respect you. You have to be yourself, be a human. Then people will re-evaluate. Then whom I sleep with will not be a good enough
reason to treat me badly. It won’t be enough to spoil the impression.

You have to become successful and rich. Then you’ll be able to live the way you want to. I want to be rich and have a lot of money.
Money solves everything. Then you’ll feel protected.

I am absolutely closeted. During the day I’m at work. In the evenings I work. Nobody knows anything about me. I rarely meet up with
people. I have one partner for four years now. We meet twice or so a month. I go out to night clubs rarely. Now I’ve stopped at all.

It helps me when it’s too hard to pray to God. I always ask forgiveness for being like this. And I would go out somewhere via small side
streets, so nobody would see me. I was afraid someone would do something with me.

For strangers I look like an ordinary guy, I don’t dye my hair, I don’t dress up in women’s cloths, I don’t talk in an affected way. In
companies of people I behave in a way so as to be accepted. I won’t grovel, but I won’t go around proving something. I understand that
there is public opinion. Then I have a car, which makes me feel safe, and I don’t go around streets at night.
To put it shortly I try not attracting troubles to myself. Besides you there is society and you have to live by its
rules, not your own. I think it’s a lot easier that way.

36
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

For 18 men correct information about homosexuality became salutary, including information that it is not a disease or a crime.
13 men think they are more protected, if they hide their homosexuality.
For 12 men support of their community helps them survive.
For 8 men one of the factors that helped them deal with internalized homophobia was acceptance of their relatives.
For 8 men financial and/or territorial independence was a significant factor in adaptation.
For 8 men having a loved one was a significant factor in adaptation.
5 men think that they are “protected” because of having a family (wife and kids).

“Self-discovery and open indication of your difference from heterosexual norms in communication with significant… people is
quite an effective strategy of overcoming internalized homophobia.”[6]

“It is quite possible that provincial … gays would prefer staying “invisible” in what concerns their sexual behavior and in order to
meet other representatives of the homosexual community would be compelled to go to a nearby town. For bisexuals it would
be even harder to find social support and circle of communication. Existence of economic factors restricts possibilities of their
socialization even further.” [6]

“These men hide their sexual orientation from society and individuals, who are unfriendly towards them, but they can have
circles of friends, who know about their sexual orientation, and they may socialize with other homosexual and bisexual men,
whom they trust to keep their secret.” [1]

“For some single representatives of sexual minorities, who live in rural areas, imitation of heterosexual conduct – is the only
possible way of socialization, and they would prefer avoiding any kinds of contacts with other... gays.” [6]

“Single gay and bisexual men in these conditions aspire to keep in touch with each other, meeting up in private houses and flats.
However that means that they possible feel fear of being “discovered”.” [6]

“According to data of several researches, depression is a risk factor and may lead to an increase in prevalence of a more
dangerous sexual conduct and HIV among MSM”. [2]

“There is a need of developing strategies and activities for creation of conditions, which are more tolerant towards sexual
minorities, and for wider self-acceptance of homosexual and bisexual men. [1]

37
His life was not just a man’s life. His life became a gay’s life. A bisexual’s life. It was different from the lives of others. Or
maybe it was an ordinary life of an ordinary man.

The fact that I’m gay, my sexual orientation, is not fundamental to my life, my style of life. First of all – I am a human, I am a
professional. And only somewhere in there is my sexual orientation, i.e. I like men.

For me being gay is not only about sexual orientation. It’s a way of life. Clubs, partying, circle of communication. I practically
communicate with my kin only. Movies, literature…Dating sites. There were meeting points before – all gay. It was really fun before.
There was “Oasis”, “Ramzes”, partying. There was an ocean of people. Now it’s quieter. But still – it differs from the life of an ordinary
guy. They have family, kids. Their own conflicts. Gray life. We have our own slang, “khabalstvo” then again. Ordinary people won’t ever
understand. No, however you look at it, there are differences…

Oh, what lifestyle? I live just like everyone else. Work, home, work. No clubs – they don’t exist here anyway. No drinking and partying. It’s
all quiet. Peaceful. With HIM I meet at my house. We eat. Talk. Watch movies. Have sex too. It’s just a life of an ordinary man. As for what
happens in bed… whose business is it?

During the day I’m like everybody. I’m all serious. People respect me. I’ve my own business. I’ve money. I’ve a house, family, kids. Nobody
would think. In the evenings I get together with the “girls” in my office. We put make up on. We dance. We’re different. It’s a different life.
So we live – like two different persons.

Gay lifestyle – sounds strange for me. When a person tells me he won’t watch a film that is not about gays, I don’t talk to him ever
again. Good bye. I don’t want to have anything to do with this person. Yes, I’m selective. I’ve become somewhat a cultural fascist. But I
guess I deserved that right. I’ve studied a lot - both academically and life wise. What is needed and what is not. What is accepted and
what is not. Which ways is right and which is not. How to develop yourself as a personality. Not only do I not follow aspects of gay
culture, in many things I am also its opponent. I am against concentrating on this aspect. I am against turning homosexuality into a
pillar, a foundation of life around which everything else revolves. When everything a person does rotates around his sexual orientation.
I am extremely against that. Generally I do not care what people do as long as that does not hurt anyone. But in this case it does hurt –
including, indirectly, me. It feeds homophobia with a terrible force.

What lifestyle? I’ve no time for that. I have to work and study. In my free time I like to watch American movie series. I don’t have any gay
friend.

It’s an ordinary life of an ordinary man. No special gay lifestyle. Although it’s different for different people…

“For many… gays and bisexuals it is very important to have certain places where they can meet other people and feel their
belonging to one or another group of like-minded people. [6]

In order to withstand pressure of the society, which in many cases is negative towards expressions of homosexuality and
considers them shameful… gays and bisexuals need unification within the framework of a certain subculture, which assists in
forming their identities and positive self-appraisal.” [6]

38
15
Khabalstvo – a specific manner of communication and humour in post-Soviet gay slang.
Women. They existed in his life. Wife. Chance partner. Just a friend. Attempts to change. Family requirements. Or love. Or are
women – out of his story?

I got married when I was 18. I chose my wife myself. I wanted it. Otherwise how can you live without a family? It’s obligatory. “Ours”
are all married except for the very young ones. They will also get married in time. I have children. I’ve been married for many years. Of
course I have sex with my wife. I like it with her. But I still keep my relationship with my boyfriend.

I couldn’t determine myself. Or rather I knew I was gay, but I tried to be like everyone else, tried to become “straight”. I tried it with a
woman. I’ve had it three times. I tried when I was a teenager. Three times. The first time I was just interested. I didn’t like it. The second
time I wanted to test. I imagined a guy so I wouldn’t fail. The third time it just didn’t work at all. Didn’t try anymore. It was a right thing. I
needed it to get clear.

I’ve never had it with a woman. I don’t want it with women. When I’m 30-35 years old I’ll get married, because I must.

Actually, I was seduced a lot. They’d say: “Oh come on, you just have to try it with a woman, you’ll like it”. So I tried, of course. I didn’t like
the contact, any of it. I got clear on all this a long time ago, so this question is closed.

A girl appeared in my life. We walked with her at night, talked. Then we had sex. And when I came I was crying. I realized that I’m a man
and that I can have kids. But at 19 I did not feel mature yet. I just understood that I could be a full-fledged man, that I can have kids. I
was crying, she was calming me down. But still I stayed with HIM. I don’t know at which age it is supposed to happen for the first time –
the orgasm. I had it at the same time – with him and with her. I stayed with HIM.

No, never. Not even once. Not even an implication of it. No interest at all. I’m not interested. At all. Not curious. I don’t want it. No. I just
don’t want it.

I got married when I was 21. It was my choice, nobody forced me to marry. I don’t like girls. When I got married, the first night, it wouldn’t
get hard. After half an hour I barely managed. It was my first time with a woman. I rarely have sex with my wife. We had our first child a
few years after the wedding. It wouldn’t get hard on any other women at all.

I was married. I have a child. I like sex with women. Only it has to be a serious, trusting relationship. If I don’t trust her I won’t be able
to relax. Right now I have a woman. She’s mature, independent. She has her own business. She doesn’t need anything. She knows
everything about me, but accepts me. I didn’t want to lie to her. Why build relationships then? We’ve been together for 1.5 years. I feel
good with her. But I also can’t live without relationships and sex with men.

I don’t know what to do – to be with a girl or not. For me it is so difficult. Sometimes I get fixated on this and think about it all the time.
What should I do? On the one hand people around me demand that. On the other hand I understand it myself that I must be with a girl.
But on the third hand, I understand that I’m gay. I can, of course, be with her, but that would be hard – morally exhausting. All these
three ropes pull me in different directions, and burst me into three parts. I don’t know, I guess time has to pass so I can fully become
aware of all this. Maybe only then I will understand.

39
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

Have experience of heterosexual sex – 19 men: gays – 10 and bisexuals – 9.


Of them:
With a wife or permanent partner – 8 men: gays - 4 and bisexuals – 4.
With a chance partner - 17: gays - 8 and 9 bisexuals.
With a sex worker - 7: gays – 2 and 5 bisexuals.
Do not have experience of heterosexual sex – 11. Of them gays – 8.
Refused from sex with women after determining their orientation - 7.
Have more or less systematic experience of heterosexual relationships - 7. Of them gays – 3.

Married are 5 men. Of them 3 are gays.


Were married but are divorced now – 3. Of them gays – 1.

Do not exclude the possibility of getting married – 11. Of them gays – 3.


Plan to get married to have a “screen” or because it is “customary” - 4. Of them 1 gay.
Would like to have a family (wife and kids) – 2. Of them 1 gay.

“In one case bisexuality means a simple social mimicry, where heterosexual marriage serves as a screen to hide same-sex
attractions and relationships; if such a man had freedom of choice, he would never sleep with a woman…” [3]

“These men lead double lives not because it’s their choice, but because the society forces them”. [1]

40
Children. He has children already. He would like to have children. He dreams about having children. Or he does not think
about that at all.

Even now there’s one girl around who wants to get married and have a child. She tells me: “I don’t want anything from you, I just need
a child. Because you have strong genes, you must leave offspring behind”. But I cannot live peacefully knowing that somewhere there I
have a child. Before, I used to dream about a child. Now I understand how difficult it would be for a child. First of all, everybody knows
me, and the child would be bullied already in kindergarten: “Your dad is “goluboi”, you’re this and that”. I have to leave somewhere. Also,
I’m too used to living alone. Appearance of another person, especially a child – no, I don’t think so. I can imagine how hard it would be. I
don’t need it – extra problems. I have nephews, they’re enough.

I think, my son finds out and will say: “You were gay. But what did you do for me?” I’d rather he would never finds out.

I’m not divorced with my wife, but we live separately. When she decided to leave I told her: “If you want to go – go, just don’t touch my
children”. So the children stayed with me. I don’t need anything else for me. Right now I have only one goal – to help my children stand
on their own.

We got acquainted, started meeting, talking. She’s an orphan, she doesn’t have anyone. I was having a very hard time back then. She
offered to live together. I thought for a bit and agreed. We’ve been living together for three years now. Sometimes we have sex. Rarely.
I’m not attracted to her. I’m completely gay. I am only attracted to gays. She knows about it. She’s alright with it, doesn’t say anything
to me. She loves me. She wants kids. I’d agree to form a family. But I don’t want kids for sure. Maybe, not now. I like kids in general. But I
don’t want to have my own.

My mom would always ask me: “Well, what about grandchildren? I want grandchildren”. Well, alright, you’ll have your grandchildren.
You don’t necessarily have to be non-gay for that. I was thinking about that. I want to do that. Not just because of mom, but because of
her too. First of all, I want kids myself. I want to bring up a good adequate person.

I have plans for the future to form a family, have kids. If I won’t be able to have them, I’ll adopt. Because I love kids very much. I want
everything to be just like in any ordinary man’s life. I don’t want my life to be incomplete just because of my sexual orientation, I don’t
want something to be missing from it. Why should I be alone and refuse having kids because I’m gay?

There are such “straight” guys it would have been better if their kids had no fathers at all. But if a father is gay, why does everybody think
the child will be unhappy? Yes, maybe people will bully him. But if he is brought up in love and will know from his very childhood that
there can be different people and different families, he would grow up to be a person who would never offend or judge someone for
being “different”.

Have kids – 6. Of them gays – 2.


Said they dream about having kids – 8. Of them gays – 6.

41
He communicated with friends. He had his own company. Or he was alone. He visited night clubs. He had fun. Or maybe not
so much…

I don’t party with gays, don’t go to the office. I don’t want it. It’s not my thing. I don’t need night clubs. If we get a club in Osh, I won’t go
there. I don’t need it. I work the whole week, in the evenings I’m with HIM.

I don’t go to clubs. I’ve been there once. I didn’t like it – I don’t like clubs in general. I have a friend, but he’s “straight”. We just have
common interests with him, that’s all.

We don’t have special clubs. We gather up on flats, people from other places come to us, we also go out there often. Unofficially we
gather up in one café in a small circle – 2-3 persons with this orientation. Usually we just party together. We can’t afford to be visible.

We don’t have clubs. We have an office instead of a club. That’s where we all gather. In the other life – I only have acquaintances,
business, work. Here we have our own world. Our “girls” gather. That’s my company. My friends – are our “girls”, who party. Our “girls”
are very good. If I disappear for 3-4 days I get calls and invitations to the office. I need communication with them. With some of them
I’m acquainted for a long time.

Oh so many clubs there were. My whole life was spent there. Before, we had parties every day. Now it’s all more modest.

Everyone’s closeted. Try not to show it. We don’t go out anywhere. We don’t have places like that. When we gather up with boys we
want to relax. In usual life we all are closeted, but when you’re around your own kin, you can talk about insider things. We celebreate
New Years or birthdays. Sometimes friends from Bishkek or elsewhere come to visit us.

I don’t go out anywhere. Before, I’d go clubbing every night. Before it was more interesting in the clubs, now it’s all one and the same.
Now “…”16 has become “straight”, there are more “straights” there than our people. Ours sometimes go there but very rarely. Before
“straights” went there as well, but we could make fun with them, they were alright. Now people have become more cruel, I think. It’s not
interesting to go there. Before there were parties thrown, it was interesting. Now, I don’t know, I don’t go there.

About the club exactly, it’s a very interesting story. I decided to surf around the Internet, to talk, to get acquainted. So I called the
information bureau to ask for a number. That club was mentioned when I was surfing the website. I asked their number in the
information bureau, they gave it to me. I called. “Of course, do come, we’re located there and there”. So I thought – why not try and go.
So I went there, sat a bit. Started going there from time to time, then almost every evening. It was rare that I wouldn’t go there.

Mainly all my friends are “straight”. Or maybe not “straight”, I don’t know. But still – not gay, sort of. I don’t go to clubs anymore, got
bored of the same stuff. I guess I lost sense in going to clubs. You go to a club, get drunk, dance a bit, go back home in the morning all
drunk, go to sleep, wake up and that’s it. I mean for me there is no sense in going to clubs. Just sometimes, when I’m asked to go there
for company, I go. But systematically – there is no interest for me in that.

We have a club. But it’s the only one. Used to go there a lot before. Now it’s too expensive. I go there twice a week at best. I also don’t like
that it’s just one place. There’s nowhere to go. There are no places where only gays and bisexuals could party. There’s another one, but
“straights” go there to stare at gays like in a zoo.

42 A currently functioning night club is mentioned there, the name of which we


16

have concealed for security reasons.


Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

Regularly go to clubs, which are openly gay and bisexual – 2 men.


Periodically go to these clubs – 10 men.
Rarely visit these clubs – 4 men.
Visit actions organized in specialized clubs – 10 men.

Visiting clubs is restricted due to financial difficulties – 7 men.


Visiting clubs for 4 is restricted due to business.
Visiting of clubs is restricted due to lack of interest – 5 men.
Visit places, which substitute thematic clubs in an inhabited area17 - 12 men.
Do not visit clubs or places substituting them – 2 men.

Have a company of friends and often meet with them – 25 men.


Lead an isolated way of life – 5 men.

“Gay clubs are not only a place for recreation, but also have other important functions. For many new ones it is clubs that become
their “entry point” to the gay community: this is where they get their first acquaintances and start the study of norms and
traditions of gay community.” [8]

“… Gays here are like at “home”. They are not afraid of expressing their feelings, making statements, behaving freely. … at least for
a time they can be completely open, compensating the psychological discomfort experienced by many of them in every day life
due to necessity of hiding their true selves.” [8]

“Gay clubs have long ago become the favorite place for conducting various actions by organizations working on HIV/AIDS
prevention…” [8]

Thematic clubs exist only in Bishkek. These are two clubs, where LGBT communities meet up on certain days.
17

There are no such clubs in other cities and inhabited areas. They are substituted by offices of non-governmental
organizations, working with LGBT or MSM, or rented apartments, where people gather for talking, acquainting,
43
discussions. There also most often the parties take places, or actions and entertaining events.
He drank beer a lot. Or vodka. Or rum. Or maybe he did not drink at all?

I drink only on holidays now. Especially since I got a job. Before that I drank awfully lot – every day. That’s why sometimes I couldn’t
get a job. So I am communicating less with everybody. Because everybody likes to drink. There’s always something to drink for and no
breaks. So you have to drink, drink, drink. So I guess that’s why I stopped talking to many.

I can drink in a company. I love it. But if I drank some, I will not go out anywhere. Sex and alcohol are incompatible. It might not work
out. And I’m afraid I might not even get an erection. It’s just not the same sensations, in general.

After I got HIV-infected, I was in hard drinking for almost half a year. I could sit at home and drink. I could drink one whole bottle alone.
For some time I completely left the city, lived in a village. My mom became worried why I was always drinking. She thought I had an
oncological disease, because my relatives have a genetic predisposition for blood cancer. So my mom thought I also had cancer.

For four years I have not drunk anything. Even beer. Nothing. Before that I got into a wrong company. I drank a lot. Not like an
alcoholic, of course, but the situation was very difficult. When you drink hard anything can happen. Sex with nobody knows who,
nobody knows where. In a bathroom… that also happened.

Drinking – sometimes. In a good company. It is not a requirement. It does not happen spontaneously. If there are predisposing factors,
like somebody coming to visit. That’s why he comes to visit, after all. Brings a bottle of wine. Or I open something at home. We sit and
talk for a long time. Then, of course, some amount of alcohol is drunk. But you don’t get drunk. Then it smoothly moves over into sex.
If sex happens spontaneously, then without it (alcohol – I.K.). One does not depend on the other. One does not impede the other. But it
very often helps.

No, alcohol, cigarettes – no. Although my whole life I’ve been in the company of drinkers and smokers, but I never did. I can drink
anything, I am not squeamish. But I don’t have a desire to drink. Thus if a company has gathered and you don’t have to go anywhere,
then I can a bit. But I don’t get any pleasure from it.

I can drink beer in the circle of friends. Don’t drink vodka at all. It’s very rare I get very drunk. If everything is alright and I have a
permanent partner, I live without alcohol. But when you’re just getting acquainted, when it doesn’t feel right, or there’s sex, or the
partner is not a very close or known one – you drink. For confidence. It is very hard for gays to make acquaintances. So, many drink for
courage.

I don’t like that at all. Drink a bit before sex – everything will go wrong. Without it, I know when he comes, he knows when I come – but
with alcohol it’s all unpredictable. If I’ve drank and my boyfriend did a little, we’d rather not have sex tonight.

Every time when we decide to – we drink vodka. Sometimes every evening, sometimes once in a week. How would you not drink? When
you live like that – a double life. You hide something here, something there. There’s a family, you’re a respected person, have a job. Here
– you’re open. And you constantly search. How can you be without vodka?

We constantly hide, hide the fact that we’re gay, afraid to get closer. You search for a boyfriend constantly.
Sometimes you just have to drink. Otherwise how do you live in this constant fear – what if somebody finds
out, what happens next, what will you tell your parents?
44
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

Consume alcoholic beverages in average more than twice in a week – 3 men.


Consume alcoholic beverages in average less than twice in a week – 14 men.
Consume alcoholic beverages episodically – 10 men.
Do not consume alcoholic beverages – 3 men.
Prefer strong alcoholic beverages – 9 men.
Prefer weak alcoholic beverages – 10 men.
Consume both strong and weak alcoholic beverages, depending on the situation – 8 men.
Think alcohol and sex are incompatible (alcohol hampers with full-fledged sex) – 6 men.
Sometime may combine alcohol and sex – 11 men.
Think alcohol is conducive to sex, helps to relax – 6 men.
For 8 men alcohol is a factor, which reduces anxiety, and is a usual way of relieving stress in a psychologically traumatizing
situation.
10 men informed that alcohol helps them feel more uninhibited when making acquaintances or in the beginning of sexual
relationships with a new partner.
25 men think alcohol a natural accompaniment to communication, partying, meetings with friends, recreation in companies.
12 men change their sexual behavior under alcoholic intoxication: more simplified beginning of casual sexual encounters,
decreased care about safety of sex.

“A high level of alcohol consuming as a legal psychothropic substance among gays, … and bisexuals has a complex character
and is caused by both social and psychological factors.
Social factors of high level of alcohol usage:
- visits to bars and meeting places as the only method of social unification and meetings of LGBT, where alcohol plays an
important role in the process of socialization;
- homophobia and discrimination
- hate crimes
- refusal to recognize homosexual relationships on the societal level
Psychological factors are :
- depression
- internalized homophobia
- alcohol as a social lubricant
- fear of making acquaintances and sexual relationships with other MSM…;
- desire to be uninhibited and fun, in other words – be “like everybody”;
- an attempt to overcome solitude
- a deeply felt conflict with family members based on coming out or feeling of guilt for not justifying…
hopes and expectations of family and relatives, and others.” [4]
45
“Usage of alcohol or drugs summons a feeling of confidence in your own powers – something that is truly
necessary for lesbians and gays, who live in a society absolutely permeated by homophobia.” [6]
He never tried drugs. Or maybe he smoked weed sometimes?

Well, if you consider “weed” a drug, then yes, I did. I tried to sniff, but didn’t work. I sneeze, feel nausea, so lost all desire. I’m scared of
injecting because I’m afraid of injections. I can’t imagine how can you prick your vein, so – no. If I want to relax I can have alcohol,
cigarettes, and that’s it.

Drugs? Never in my life. Smoked some “weed”. But didn’t do that very often either. Sometimes I get an itch to do that. But that’s once or
twice in a year. I’m not attracted to these things at all.

I don’t even smoke.

No, never in my life, I haven’t even smoked “weed”. I know there are different types, but I haven’t tried yet.

I’ve smoked “weed”, but I still don’t get what the high in it. I had all accompanying symptoms of it, dryness in the mouth, but didn’t get
high on it.

I had a friend. He was also gay. Last week he died of an overdose. I saw him three weeks ago. He didn’t look very well.

It’s rare that there are drug addicts among gays. But I know one who injects.

Here (in Osh) we don’t have that. It’s not customary here. It’s not customary among gays here. Gays won’t accept that. Many don’t even
smoke. They only drink vodka. Well, it’s the South – so sometimes people have some “nasvai”, ”anasha”18. But still our guys rarely do that.

46 Anasha, weed – slang name for substances from the group of cannabinoids. Nasvai – psychoactive mix with a
18

high concentration of tobacco and, sometimes, cannabinoids;


Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

Inform that they have never tried drugs – 15 men19.


All 30 men assert that they have never had any experience of using injecting drugs.

12 men have experience of smoking cannabinoids.


Periodically use (smoke) cannabinoids 3 men. All of them have experience of combining sex with smoking cannabinoids.
1 has a singular experience of using a stimulator (“Speed”) in a company.
1 told about singular intranasal usage of an unknown psychoactive substance.

11 men mentioned absence of traditions of using injecting drugs in the community of gays and bisexuals of Kyrgyzstan.
Personally know gays and bisexuals, who are injecting drugs users – 3 men.

“Combination of sex with alcohol or drugs usage is also undesirable due to consequences, to which ignoring of safety measures
may lead.” [6]

It is necessary to note that for Kyrgyzstan due to cultural, economic and geographic factors, the main groups of
19

narcotic substances consists of opiates (first of all – heroin) and cannabinoids. Usage of narcotic substances from
47
other groups (for example, stimulators and hallucinogens) is very rare and practically unavailable.
He was looking for new friends. He was looking for people like himself. He was looking for love. Or maybe he was looking for
a one-time partner. He read ads in newspapers. He created a profile on an online dating site. He met people through friends.
Or he searched for someone in clubs. Perhaps he went to “pleshka”20. Or gave an ad himself.

I make acquaintances through friends. Around 80% happens through friends, 10% - on the Internet. Maybe it would have been
different if I had a computer at home. I don’t have a computer. I can’t constantly spend time and money on Internet-cafes, I’ve no time.
So it’s like this. I’m in the Internet sometimes. I just encountered not very good people there. I was constantly out of luck, I get maniacs
all the time. They wrote things like this: “Let’s meet in a park, I’ll rape you, I like raping”. I don’t need relationships like that.

There used to be a newspaper. It still exists. It’s called “Blitz Info”. I’m sure I’m not the only one mentioning it, I guess. So they had ads
there under the rubric “A guy is looking for a guy”.

Before we used to go to “pleshki”. Before we’d meet up there, companies would gather up, “flirt around”. Those were interesting times.
There were even benches, which were ours, and “straights” would never sit there. We always had a company – a few people would
gather up. “Oh, hi girls!”. That’s how it was back then.

We have a video-saloon. Like a “pleshka”. Guys know that you can pick someone up there. You just have to wait and always have good
money on you. I’ve picked up many times there.

When I was left alone, didn’t talk to anyone – I heard about one company. They sort of make acquaintances there, communication. So I
decided to go there. You come – some dude rolls up to you at once. Next time – it happens again. I thought: “Is it always like that here?”
Disgusting.

I’m on the Internet. For a very long time. I have a circle of friends there with whom I have some kind of Internet relationships. With some
I’ve met, with others I haven’t.

There’s no place where to make acquaintances here. Accidentally, if you see a guy, who looks gay – you come up to him, ask for his
number, invite him to a training. That’s how we make acquaintances.

We’ve no clubs here. Every day we meet up in the office and party. We talk and make acquaintances. There’s no other place apart from
the office, where we can meet, talk, make acquaintances and be open. Internet is rare here.

There’s a “pleshka” functioning from spring to autumn. Mainly it’s the young ones or “grannies” (elderly homosexual men – I.K.). The
public that parties around there doesn’t look for relationships there, they just “pick up” others.

As a rule I make acquaintances via Internet. People, who party in clubs, all know each other. So new acquaintances can only be
through Internet. Also there may be some via SMS on the TV, or ads in the newspaper.

It may be too early for my age but I’m tired of fleeting relationships already. I want something permanent in my life. When I make
acquaintances over the Internet, I communicate with him at first - “deconstruct the person to pieces”. Two weeks as a minimum. Only
then I meet with him. If a person is to some extent interesting, attractive, I mainly tune myself up to a
serious relationship. But if I don’t like something in that person, then it’s over.

48
“Pleshka”, “pleshki” (plural form) – usual, traditional place of meeting for men practicing same sex sexual relations.
20
Out of 30 men who were interviewed:

15 use online dating sites.


For 8 of them – this is the most often used way of making acquaintances.
For 12 men – a traditional place of meeting people is a club (or a place, where gays and bisexuals systematically meet, for
example, office of an organization).
For 6 of them – this is the most often used way of making acquaintances.
6 men use ads in the mass media, including SMS ads on the TV, in meeting new people.
6 men visit traditional meeting places for gay and bisexual men in the city (“pleshki”) to meet new people. 4 more used to visit
“pleshki”.
6 men think meeting people on “pleshki” is irrelevant nowadays.
10 men in most cases meet new people “through friends and acquaintances”.

Among goals of systematic search and urge to meet people through the Internet, men more often mention open
communication and absence of barriers, search for a potential partner, search for a one-time sexual partner.

For those who make acquaintances in clubs – it is communication with “equals”, search for a potentially permanent partner and
meeting new people with a certain sexual implication.

To “pleshki” men go for “hook ups”, meetings aimed at searching for partners for one-time sex.

“One of the main conditions of frequent change of partners is the possibility of “quick” (and often anonymous) meet-ups aimed
at entering a sexual contact. In different cities these possibilities are offered by popular meeting points – night clubs, saunas,
“pleshki”. Conditions that accompany this kind of sexual contacts are often connected with absence of full value conditions for
safer behavior… Apart from popular meeting sites for face to face meetings, Internet sites are also becoming more relevant in
the search for sexual partners. As international researches in this sphere show, search for sexual partners via Internet and the
consequent sexual contacts with them represent an exceptionally high risk of HIV and STIs.” [5]

“In later years Internet started playing an exceptionally important role in the lives of gay men (…). First of all, it endlessly widens
the circle of communication. Now even people, who live in rural provinces can find friends and potential partners in any part of
the globe without risking to be “outed” or running into offences.” [3]

“MSM found it difficult to pick out more HIV vulnerable subgroups of the community in accordance with their meeting points
(thematic clubs, saunas, pleshki). Some noticed that the risk of HIV infection may be higher among those, who meet other MSM
via Internet, because MSM often use Internet to find partners for short-term sexual relations.” [2]

49
He met people. He dreamed about love. Or he just wanted sex. He was looking for a friend or a “sponsor”. He was lonely and
he wanted warmth. Or he needed money.

My relationships have always been about love. I don’t have a very great experience in terms of quantity of men. No sex right after
making an acquaintance. After all, I must fall in love. I don’t even kiss on the first date. A certain period has to pass. And then – a long-
term relationship. I was with my first man for three years. With my current partner we have been together for three months already.

Right now I try to communicate with older men, those who are beyond 25, who are more stable now. Of course now I analyze his
pocket, place of birth, nationality, circumcision, his appearance. I like Muslims more. Right now I have one foreigner. He has a great life.
When I am at his house, I feel like I’m in paradise. He always has pizza in his house, champagne. I never refuse good food.

I had… different relationships in my life. But I’ve always searched for love. I had relationships. There were sometimes men, who paid
for my life, but those were always relationships. We lived together. Money as it is never played a big role for me. First and foremost I was
always interested in relationships.

Well, many are attracted to love these days. I do not pay, in principle. But then again, if I see his financial position… I had a boyfriend
before. His family was in a difficult situation, five kids, his father was either drinking or trying to stop. And so winter was coming closer
and closer, but he had nothing to wear, no shoes. So I took him to the market and bought him what he needed.

For me it is important to see the man when he is sleeping next to me, when he’s waking up in the morning. Love is important to me, not
sex. Sex can be found anywhere. I can’t do that with someone I don’t know. I don’t need just sex. If you need it – you can always find.
I’m looking for love. I need to live with a man, trust him, go to sleep together and wake up together. I’ve been waking up alone for two
months now.

There can be situations when you’re forced to look for fast money. So I figured – you can never find money faster than through
commercial sex. I call my souteneur and tell him that I need money. He finds a client, calls me back, and sets it up for that same evening.
So you just tell yourself that it’s just a mannequin and that’s it, you don’t react. You just need money and that’s it. Although once the
client turned out to be a nice guy, and he asked for my phone number, wanted to get to know me closer. But I couldn’t, that’s my barrier.
I realize that I slept with him for money and I will never be able to be with him. That’s how it happens.

Yes, in general, only sex is important. If you find someone, you don’t think about anything anymore. You can’t lose the opportunity.

I need ordinary human relations, feelings. You can’t mix in the commodity-money relations with them. Another thing is when a person
is in a difficult situation. I could afford to help my partner. But that’s normal. He’s my second family. Love is always necessary in a
relationship. Without it everything loses sense. You won’t be satisfied. You won’t have those sensations, that atmosphere. You won’t be
able to relax and get pleasure. Sex isn’t a goal in itself.

We live together, then we break up, and then for a long time I can’t find anyone. Usually I have one-day relations – we like each other
at once, have sex at once, and then go away from each other – that’s it. Or I just tune up myself not to fall in love. I always calm myself
down: “It’s probably not him, it’s probably not him.” I want a relationship, so everything’s alright, and we
live together. To come back home from work, and he’s there. I don’t have that right now, but maybe in the
future I will.

50
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

10 men said that mostly they would describe the history of their relationships as a sequence of steady relationships, based on
sympathy, attachment or love.

For 6 men their sexual life is characterized by a frequent change of partners with one-time or random affairs.

2 men have an experience of sex work.


5 men have an experience of using paid sexual services.

5 men have stable and long-term sexual relationships with their permanent partners for a period of more than one year and
continued to present day.

“Male sexuality in its essence is more physical, sensual and extensive than female sexuality. Everywhere men have more sexual
partners, change them more often, easier enter into random affairs with lack of love, etc.” [3]

Homosexual men “can differ ‘love’ from ‘sex’ just as all others do, and just as much dream about ‘true’, all-consuming love. The
need to love and to be loved was unconditionally named the most important factor of their personal happiness by 70% of
participants of one of the researches… orientation towards love statistically correlates with the strength of attraction and
permanence of sexual orientation. However, not many can have that.” [3]

“For gays the poignancy of solitude depends, in the first place, on existence of their permanent partner...” [3]

“… the need in stable couple relationships is psychologically autonomous from sexual needs and does not depend on sexual
orientation, but more on the type of personality.” [3]

“… how can one reproach people with sexual licentiousness, and at the same time, refuse them the right to legitimate their
partner relationships?” [3]

51
He found his “community”. Or he does not need it. He is happy that there are people like him. He needs their help, he is
ready to help himself. Or he may be ashamed of his “own people”.

We used to meet each other on the “pleshka”. We’d dress up, cross-dress, set up festivals and such. Then we got a flat. I also rented a flat
for parties. So we agreed to meet there on Saturdays. I organize a party but with a condition that they must also bring someone else.
And so it was every week, and the company started expanding. That’s when a desire appeared to collect everybody somehow, create
some kind of an organization.

Some people irritate me a lot. They do “khabalstvo”. And “khabalstvo” to my opinion is vulgarity. It’s all dirty expressions mixed with
foul language. Terrible speech, terrible lexicon. Moronic jokes. It is natural that this causes a negative reaction from an ordinary person.
It feeds homophobia greatly. They suffer from this themselves. But others also do suffer from that. This feeds stigma. They are in
minority. But because this minority is so bright and colourful, people think that all gays are like that. So, all stereotypes and myths are
fed.

It is good now that we have an organization. Before I didn’t know about this. I had a fear. Now there are organizations that offer help
and psychological support. Before we didn’t have that, it was very difficult. My father even wanted to send me to psychiatry. Yes, he’d
say that I’m sick, that I must be treated. I’d tell him: “I’m not sick, psychologists will tell you so too.” I didn’t know anybody back then, I
just knew there was an organization, an office. Later I found out where it was. I went there and made acquaintances. It became easier
to live. You know you’re not alone. It’s easier anyway. They have all kinds of brochures there. There I found out a lot about us, our rights
and HIV.

I live in the Shelter. If it didn’t exist, where would I go in a difficult situation?

I knew there were people like that, but I didn’t have “info” enough. You don’t know how to treat that. When I came to the office the first
time I realized – they’re just people like us. There are a lot of them. There’re a lot of us. I found out about the office from Internet – made
an acquaintance with one guy. He said there was an office of gays. They accepted me very well. I felt better after that, I realized it was
my thing.

Many people don’t even know where to go to get tested. They’re also afraid. Also, not many can afford to pay for that. Such
organizations are needed. But those who can do that on his own, has no need to go there.

I help “our people” a lot now. Some need a lawyer. Others need other problems solved. I’m in the office the whole day, until night.
Condoms, lubricants. Consult our young ones. Right now I want to write up my own project. All regions would be included and work
would be done in all regions. I’m always learning these days. Surf the Internet. I want to learn how to do outreach work. I know little yet,
so I want to go for a training on that issue. I’m already consulting people a bit. I want to set the work going here.

“Cops” – yes, they’re very cruel and mocking. When there was “Oasis”, we’d call the director, and he would come after us, talk with
them. For us to know our rights too. Then these “cops” also knew already that there is an organization like that, and what it does. They
became milder towards us.

There’s nothing around here. The mentality of people is worse than in the capital city, much worse. This
office is like a life buoy. I can’t even imagine what might happen if it closed… All “ours” gather here. It’s the
52 only place where they’re as they are…
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

Consider themselves part of the gay and bisexual community – 19 men.


Have their own “informal network”21 – 22 men.
Are in the leading position in the “informal network” – 6.
Systematically communicate with representatives of gay and bisexual community – 21.
Are clients or employees of NGOs working on protection of interests and promotion of HIV prevention programs among LGBT
and MSM in their regions – 17 men.
Use services or attend actions of such organizations, in their own regions – 21 men.

Categorically do not identify themselves with the community – 4 men.

“Community – is an aggregate of connections between people united by something common: goals, interests, views,
occupations, hobbies, place of living, sex, nationality, problems, conditions. Communication between people is the foundation of
a community.” 22

“It is necessary to understand: instead of using the common definition of “gay community” it would be more preferable to orient
at a wider spectrum of every possible groups… of gays and bisexuals, for whom the great diversity of life styles is typical. At the
same time they all form a certain culture, which exists both in separate regions and settlements, as well as on the national scale.”
[6]

“The subculture of minorities is maintained only due to unification of its representatives with each other, reading of books and
newspapers of corresponding direction, communication in places specifically selected for sexual minorities.”[6]

21
Groups, participants of which have a territorial unity, are friends with or know each other well, supposedly have
common social norms, values and views. [5]
22
See: Dictionary of key terms in Social Work with People Practicing Same-Sex Sexual Relations: Theory. Methods. Best
53
practices./ compiled by L.Gaydar – K.: International HIV/AIDS Alliance in Ukraine, 2009
Sex. There was a lot of it in his life. Or it was a rarity. Always with HIM only. Or he changed his partners.

I didn’t have co-habitation. Currently I don’t have a partner – either they don’t fit my criteria or I don’t trust them. So I’m in an active
search for a boyfriend.

We’ve been together for a one and a half year. I’d “street-walk” sometimes, but very carefully, always with a condom. Now we’ve broken
up. There was a moment when we just broke up… Internet, I call up, we meet up, have sex. I don’t want that anymore.

I want to be loved, not used, but more often I’m just used. Pure and serious relationships do not exist nowadays. It’s all dirt. Now I just
put on a block, I make my heart ice-cold on purpose, a wall. God forbid from falling in love! We meet – we fuck. I think of ways to show
him that I’m not “stuck” on him, and that I don’t need him, and that there are a whole lot of others like him. I meet them through
Internet, or friends bring in someone. Yes, my relationships are one-time ones. But I don’t want anything else. There’s one around me
now. He wants to become a permanent partner. But I don’t care. I purposefully don’t want to become attached. I’m tired of this suffering
and torments.

I always have very long-term relationships. With my previous boyfriend we’ve been together for 7 years. Now I also have a boyfriend.
We’ve been together for 4 years.

Five fingers on my palm would be enough to count all men I’ve had in my whole life.

Currently I have 3 partners, whom I periodically meet with.

It’s been six months that I haven’t had sex with guys. If a normal guy offers, I won’t say no.

My relationships are always based on love. I don’t have such a great experience in terms of quantity of men. And I never cheat on my
partners.

I’ve never had a permanent partner, and still don’t. I don’t have long-term relationships. It’s possible to meet for second time, but that’s
it. I can “hook up” anyone.

I had a boyfriend before. We’ve been together for 6 years. Now I don’t live with anyone. I only date. There are several of them, but they’re
all permanent ones.

I don’t have one time sex. I’m very accurate when choosing a partner. We used to live together with my partner.

We registered our relationship in Europe. Soon I am leaving to join him and we will live together. I don’t know how our relationship
would go from there.

My boyfriend was a constant one. We lived together, but not for long. It may be 8 or 9 months and that’s it. I can’t be with people for a
long time, I don’t know, I guess that’s just my character. I can’t do like others and live for three years, even five years together. I get tired
of people. I can be with one guy for a long time, but it’s only sex. I won’t live with him. I have a partner now.
I don’t sleep with anyone except for him.

54
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

Informed that they enter into sexual contacts exceptionally with their permanent partners – 7.

“Gays specifically experience serious hindrances in establishing emotional closeness, which is connected to influence of
traditional male role models. Lewis (1978) mentions three such obstacles:
- competition: money, power, social position influencing the level of mutual trust and openness of people in the course of their
communication;
- concealment of personal weaknesses and insufficient openness: unwillingness to open to another his feelings, thoughts, fears,
concerns, depressive emotions, as well as feelings of love and sympathy;
- deficit of role models: lack of examples of how men in a relationship with each other may express their love and sympathy.
The above-mentioned leads to formation of of “lethal qualities of male role”, related with low self-openness, poor understanding
of own feelings, scantiness of empathic skills and inability to love one’s self and others”. [6]

… “creation of a long-term and stable partnership among MSM is a factor decreasing the risk of HIV-spreading.” At the same
time, “negative attitude of general population towards MSM complicates the possibility of long term relationships and constant
partnership in the group significantly, forcing MSM to search for random and anonymous partners”. [2]

“… sex with many random partners carries a deadly epidemiological danger in itself. Almost all people, who lead such a way
of life, periodically get treatment from sexually transmitted diseases; many had to pay for this experience with their own life or
lives of their close ones. It almost unavoidably involves a person into a criminal milieu, sexual contact or attempt at it often ends
up with robbery, assault and battery, and even murder. It’s psychological costs are also high – alienation, lack of love, deficit of
human warmth and intimacy, … solitude”. [3]

“It is incorrect to consider all gays preoccupied with sex – their need in sex is just the same as the need among heterosexual
people, although the difficulties in searching for a partner may lead to accentuation of this part of life. On average the quantity
of partners among gay men is significantly higher than that of heterosexuals, but one must realize that statistical data do not say
anything about a exact person. A large amount of partners is explained by many reasons, among which it is necessary to mention
lack of societal stereotype of a “stable family”; lack of sufficient choice in search of an acceptable partner; and the propensity for
changing partners typical for men…” [7]

55
Sex. It was always beautiful. With candles. At home. In a hotel. In a clean bed, at least. Or where he could. Wherever he could
find an opportunity.

We go to a dacha to have sex – it’s deserted. We have sex on a deserted dacha. No problems.

2-3 times a month we rent a sauna or a hotel room. There are no other places for meetings.

I have one permanent boyfriend. I rent an apartment for him. We meet there.

I don’t have random sex. If I’m having sex, it means it’s my boyfriend. It means we live together.

It’s hard in a village. You can’t bring him to your house, and he can’t do that as well. We just go out to a field when it’s dark or search for
deserted houses, or just go to the forest. We spread our jackets on the ground and…

I’ve had many things. I rented an apartment, we lived together. Nowadays it’s expensive to rent a flat alone. So I rent it with a friend, but
that’s different. You can’t bring your boyfriend there. So there were different, extreme places. I’ve used bathrooms and rooms in a club,
and not once. I don’t hide that.

I’ve always had resources. I rented an apartment. Then I bought one. The question of where did not exist. I live alone. So I’ve no
problems with a place.

I had sex in a club once. I don’t want to remember that. It was disgusting.

I lived alone. With my first boyfriend we lived for more than two years. With the second one I only dated. We’d stay in a hotel at least
once in a week. For a half of a year all Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays we lived in a hotel all the time.

It depends on situation. I did it in a park, in a taxi. Those who have money – can rent an apartment or a sauna.

I only date my boyfriend. We meet in my house. He cooks. We talk. We watch movies. Then we end up having sex.

I want everything to be peaceful, clean and pretty. Only on a bed and only in a flat. We meet twice a month. We rent an apartment. We
rest and spend the whole day together.

In bathrooms of night clubs – no, because it’s uncomfortable. I think it’s completely uncomfortable. I can’t imagine that. Sometimes I
just rent an apartment for a night.

If I have a free flat then we meet at my place. But I try not to bring anyone there, because there were cases when I’d leave a guy in the
flat and then things would disappear. There are not only my things in the flat, so…

It often happens that there is just no place for sex. Two meet each other, like each other, but there’s no place
for sex. Until you acquire finances, find a place and an opportunity – time passes.

56
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

23 live with their parents or families (wife and kids)


1 has his own flat.
3 live in a rented apartment.

Have possibility to invite their sexual partner at home (or to a flat) – 3 men.
Have possibility to rent an apartment or a flat for meetings – 9 men.
Have experience of having sex in places unadapted or maladapted for that (separate club rooms, bathrooms, saunas) – 13 men.
Practice sexual relations in random isolated places (deserted dachas, in a field behind the village) – 3.
The issue of meeting places for sexual relations is painfully relevant for 7 men.

“Take ‘toilet’ sex… in conditions of discrimination and police persecution many homosexuals often did not have any other
choice; today in civilized countries, where men have nothing to fear, the proportion of ‘toilet’ contacts has decreased significantly.
Nevertheless, they still exist.” [3]

57
He prepared himself for sex. Or he was always ready, because he expected it would happen. Or he did not know he had to
prepare for that. Or maybe it was not important.

Depending on a partner, it is possible to assume what will be happening. But in most cases, if I know that I will be in a passive role,
it goes without saying that I do full cleansing of the intestines and everything that must be cleansed. If I don’t do that, sex doesn’t
happen. I can’t. I can’t relax, I feel like something might go wrong. Otherwise it is impossible to get pleasure, even from the thought that
something might go wrong. This momentarily kills any desire, any lust. I don’t understand people, who can do that absolutely calmly in
any conditions.

When I love a person, sex is a continuation. With the one I have now, I’m always passive. I always get ready. Not just for sex – I shave,
make myself an enema. Shower after sex.

To take shower and that’s all, what else is necessary. People talk about enemas, but I doubt people actually do that. It’s done for it’s not
to be unpleasant afterwards. Well, you can shower afterwards.

I don’t do purging, I just go to the toilet for the “big thing”, so it doesn’t happen later. You wash it all up accurately. It’s bad if you get used
to enema. After sex we go to the bathroom and wash away all the shit. Then you go, spit out and clean up your teeth.

I don’t know what to do at all. I’ve never readied myself. What do you have to do?

When we just start living together, I don’t have the trust. In Russia everybody has a certificate stating they don’t have HIV. When meeting
each other, they show it, and it’s normal for them. If one-time sex, it’s better with a condom. I had permanent relations, I was certain.
And, generally, I don’t care anyway, so you get infected, and now what … I prefer clean guys. Let them clean up first…

It’s the main moment. I can’t enter into a contact if he doesn’t shower, and I don’t. For me it is a requirement. If you’re getting ready for
anal sex, then please be so kind and do an enema. There are many methods. It’s not just doing the “big thing” in the toilet and done.

Well, I know about infections. There are syphilis, gonorrhoea, HIV. Never thought about intestinal infections…

We just go out to the fields. Lay out our jackets. We don’t even undress fully. It’s just anal sex. Of course there’s no shower in the field. But
what can you do? There’s no choice. Two men, even if they have money, won’t be able to rent an apartment for a night. It’s the mentality
here.

58
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

Consider hygienic activities (showering or having a bath) prior to sexual contact as principally important – 18 men.
Mention the necessity of complete purging of the intestines before anal sexual contact – 5 men.
Are contented with compulsory intimate washing – 13 men.
Do not pay specific attention to hygienic procedures prior to sexual contacts – 8 men.

Mention risks of intestinal infections in cases of unprotected anal sex – 3 men.

2 men think that simple hygienic activities prior to/or after sex protect them from majority of STIs.

59
Sex. He knew now what it was. He knew what he wanted. He got his own preferences. He knew what he likes, what he loves.
Or maybe it did not matter to him.

Only oral and anal, never had other types. The sequence is like everywhere – top down. First you start with lips, then the penis, and then
the bum. You start from the head, then shoulders, chest, then lower and lower and lower.

I like diversity. I always trust my partner, what he likes, what he wants. I like all poses alike, caresses, kissing, massaging. ”Minet”23 is
a must. Then what he prefers. I adore men, it’s important for me to make it all comfortable for him, then I feel comfortable too. It’s
comfortable for me to just be with him. I’m at your disposal, do what you want with me in bed. But I don’t like rough sex.

I love oral sex a lot. And do that myself too. I don’t like anal sex. I’m always in the active role. One time we tried me being in a passive
role. I didn’t get pleasure. I couldn’t come. I suppose my physiology is not disposed to it. For a long time sex was not very important at
all. It was more important to be together, to communicate, to walk together and talk. It’s an aesthetic pleasure.

I’m having problems with my partner at the moment. Right now due to health reasons he can’t be in the passive role – only in the active
one. He has some kind of papilloma in his rectum. It’s possible to have sex, but then it hurts a lot, the papilloma bleeds. The doctors said
it’s undesirable. We try that from time to time, but it hurts him. With him it’s not enough for me if I’m constantly in one role only. It’s kind
of a disbalance.

We make “minet” for each other. Also have anal sex, of course. I am passive with him. I’m in general more passive. In reality, it doesn’t
matter for me. When I love a person, sex isn’t the main thing.

At first I didn’t know what I wanted. Communication was on the first place. With pleasure it didn’t matter for me. For me the pleasure of
my partner is more important. I don’t have a specific preference in sex.

I prefer anal sex in the role of active partner. Anal sex is like preliminary game for arousal, I don’t get high on it.

I need to live with a man, trust him, go to sleep together and wake up. Mainly it’s anal and oral sex. Generally I like the active position.
But if you like a person, you do anything not to lose him, so then passive sex may be possible.

It’s “minet”. Anal sex. I’m versatile. I like it both ways. I’m always in the both roles. Our “girls” don’t understand that. They’re all looking
for an active guy and want to be in the passive role only. They’re active only with their wives. I don’t know why.

I often practice oral sex. It’s rare that I have full contact – I almost do not practice anal sex.

We don’t have oral sex. It’s somewhat not used. We only have anal sex.

I determined that I am a ‘versatile. I can be both an active and passive one – and I like both equally. But I want to be different with
different partners. With one guy – I’m in one role, with another one – I’m in a different role.

If there is a condom and I want sex, then there will be sex. If there is no condom – then I go for alternatives –
petting, caressing and mutual masturbation.

60
23
Minet – fellatio, oral stimulation of penis in Russian gay’s slang.
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

Practice anal sex – 30 men.


Predominantly “active” – 5.
Predominantly “passive” (receiving) – 6.
Do not limit themselves with any particular role – 19 men.

Practice oral sex – 26 men.


Mention experience of group sex – 8 men.

Among the often mentioned sexual practices respondents named mutual masturbation, rimming, fingering24.

“Sex in and of itself is a powerful tool of communication, which allows to express a diverse range of feelings and needs – desire,
tenderness, caressing, care, dominance, submission, interest, boredom, hatred, pleasure, love.”[3]

61
Rimming, anilingus – oral stimulation of the anus. Fingering – inserting a finger into the anus.
24
His sex was protected. Always? Sometimes? Never?

If the guy is a local one, I don’t use condoms. If he’s a visitor, for example, from Bishkek or Almaty, then I always use condoms. I’m just
sure that if it’s a local guy, he is clean. But if it’s a stranger, there’s always fear to get infected with something.

I use condom. I always do. I can’t if I don’t use it. I won’t be able to have sex without it. It just might not work out. I will constantly think
about it – what if I catch something?

When I’m in a passive role I can’t do it with a condom – it rubs sore. I get problems because of it afterwards. I need 2-3 days after that
to get it all healed there. And if I’m in an active role, I come later because of a condom. But on the other hand, if you’re not sure of your
partner…

No, I almost never use a condom. It’s discomfortable, there’s no thrill in it. I’ve no fear, for all this time I’ve never caught anything.

Nobody believes, but I’ve never used one. I don’t even know how to wear it. I tried once, but it just wouldn’t fit me. Their length is okay,
but their width is too small for me. Then you also need time – to unfold it, to put it on it. I think when you’re having sex, there’s no time
for that. By the time you get it on, your erection goes off. But in principle I’ve never got sick because of that. The only thing I’ve ever had
is “mandavoshki”25. I guess it’s my intuition that’s never failed me, because I can see through a person. And then when you’re having
sex with him, you can always see it. Maybe it’s the smell or something. I’ve never had an ill person. Of course, the risk is very high, I
understand that, but that’s why I have a very limited circle of partners.

I didn’t use condoms with my permanent partner. To be honest, I’m a slap-dash person. If there’s a condom – I use it, if not – I don’t.
Even if there was one, I didn’t use it with one guy. He was very accurate. If I feel that I need to – I use it. When I’m sure of my partner, and
if he doesn’t want to do that with a condom, I won’t mind.

Protected sex was not principal thing and did not become so for me even after I got HIV positive diagnosis. You either f..k, taking every
possible precautionary measure and don’t talk about it. But still I can’t relax. Or you say you’re HIV positive. I told everyone. But I wasn’t
going to educate anyone. We’re all grown up people and we make our conscious choices. I did everything from my side.

With regards to oral sex – if you’re so afraid, then wear a condom. If you’re not ready to sacrifice pleasure and do not want to suck
rubber, then you won’t do that. I’ve never had oral sex with a condom.

If it’s just a partner, then of course, I do it with condoms. Although different things have happened – drunk sex with strangers in toilets.
What condoms there? But that was just a couple times. I don’t have sex just because. And I’ve stopped drinking too.

If I love a person, then it’s full on. I trust him. So then it’s without condoms. Always. I’ve been together with my partner for 4 years. He’s
my constant partner. It’s without condoms with him. If someone else happens – it’s always with a condom. I make all my partners do
check ups. I don’t need problems.

62
Pubic louse.
25
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

9 men said they almost always use condoms during anal contacts.
Periodically use during anal contacts – 17 men.
Do not use condoms at all or do so very rarely – 4 men.

Informed that they practice protected sex with random and one-time partners and do not think it necessary to protect
themselves with constant partners – 14 men.

Often insist on using condoms themselves – 6 men.


Often grant the right of making the choice about using condoms to their partners – 3 men.
Said that they agree to use condoms if their partner insists – 5 men.

1 man said that he uses condoms during oral contacts.


Majority of men mention that they never use condoms during oral sexual contacts.

Among causes of negative attitude to condoms and safer sex they mention:
Decrease in pleasure from sex and/or discomfort in using condoms – 6 men.
Reluctance to offend their partner – 2 men.
Trust in a permanent partner or a partner claiming he’s clean – 12 men.
Lack of perceptible signs of having STI’s (outward signs, smell), including HIV - 2 men.
Familiarity with the partner or his co-habitation in one area with the respondent– 3 men.
Lack of necessity to protect in case of presentation of medical documents certifying absence of STI’s/HIV in their partners - 5
men.
Lack of condoms when needed – 2 men.
Irresponsible attitude – 3 men.

Constantly use lubricants – 10 men. Practically do not use lubricants – 4 men.

63
“… one must protect one’s self only with random partners, while with permanent ones it is not required. Such positions are an
example of neglect towards self safety in exchange for ‘trust’ in the partner. At the same time, according to data of international
research, such ‘trust’ is easy to form.”. [5]

“… it is erroneous to suppose that there is no HIV and STI’s in small towns, and that consequently familiarity with local MSM is
safe from the point of view of contamination.” [2]

“…the picture painted by Project workers consisted predominantly of their distribution of materials, condoms and lubricants.
They consider interpersonal communication about safer sex as part of their job, but many have said that they themselves do not
practice safer sex, and as consequence of this, their actions as role models are limited.” [1]

64
He in general was very serious about his health. He led a healthy life style. He had correct nutrition. There were doctors,
check ups, treatment. Or maybe all of that did not matter to him.

It’s necessary to have check ups. You must go through that because everything needs to be checked up – lungs, heart, head. I haven’t
been checked up for five months. I just didn’t have opportunities. There was always university – work, university – work. In order to pass
through a complete check up, you need to get up early and be there until the evening. The next day would be the same – from morning
till evening. It takes a whole week to go through hospitals. In principle, doctors are needed only when there is a fracture or something
serious.

I get checked in the “RKVD”26 for everything, including hepatitis. Everything is negative. I’ve never caught anything. Somehow, God has
spared me from all these sores. I go to doctors every six months to check up and be confident in myself. Thank God everything’s alright.
No sicknesses, everything’s alright.

I don’t even know about this and don’t think about it. Maybe that’s because I’ve never been sick in my life. I don’t get checked up. And I’m
not afraid. When I had to submit my sanitary book at work, I got checked up. All was well. I think it’s all well now too.

I cannot say that I am terribly responsible towards my health. I did not go for full check ups every six months. But I did go to a dentist
every six months. Which is very important for HIV-positive people. My teeth have always been in full order. If I realized and something
told me that I had to go check up, I went and got checked. I went there immediately. Of course, that’s a bit of a reactive attitude, not
pro-active, unfortunately. But judging by my health… I cannot say that I lead a super-healthy life style. But I also cannot say that I lead
an unhealthy life style. I smoke, I drink alcohol – but within reasonable limits. I do sports regularly for my own pleasure, not just to keep
up my health. I feel myself better because of that. I go to the gym and do yoga three times a week. So I went to my doctor, had tests
done, and I got officially included into the category of long-term non-progressors. And I get an impression that this is connected to my
attitude towards that. That HIV is only some part of my life – but everything else is different, not connected to HIV. My level of CD4 has
grown since 2007. The viral is just as low as it was before. The level of sugar in my blood is ideal, while the level of cholesterol, according
to my doctor, could be displayed in a museum as an example of what it should be.

Of course, I have not rejected alcohol yet… But I do, undoubtedly, care about my health… Of course, I do not do morning exercises, but I
don’t think I need them. I watch after my nutrition, cook myself…

My health is very sound, and to that – I never did sports, never did exercises. Health forms in childhood. In my childhood I had to work
physically a lot, dig over all of our lot. Somehow from my very childhood I liked chopping firewood, sawing trees in our garden, mowing
grass for the rabbits. Then I had a bicycle. Now I haven’t been doing anything for 2 years already. I sleep, but if there are things to do, I try
to schedule them so that I could walk in between. I kind of want to slim up, but I don’t refuse myself anything. Sometimes I even eat fat
food.

Health is very important for gay men. It’s your appearance.

I’m not ill. Why would I go to doctors?

65
Republican skin and venereal diseases dispensary.
26
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

8 men think that they lead quite a healthy life style.


Of them:
8 - smoke.
6 - periodically use alcohol.
3 - do not always follow healthy nutrition rules.
6 - do not pay attention to physical culture and sports.
And two of them always have protected sex.

Mention the necessity of turning to medical specialists only in cases of urgency (in presence of symptoms, in cases of evident
manifestation of diseases) – 21 men.

Among other reasons, which cause men not to turn or turn rarely to medical specialists, were mentioned:
- lack of trust towards medical care specialists connected with their not always positive attitude towards gay and bisexual men,
- fear of discourtesy or violation of confidentiality by medical specialists,
- limited financial resources,
- unavailability of requested medical services,
- lack of friendly medical specialists.

Majority of men agree that caring after their health is not a priority in their lives.

66
Everything happens in life. Sometimes there were troubles. He could have caught something. Something that doctors call
STI’s. Or Lord spared him? Lucky enough?

I dated one guy in Bishkek. We had sexual contacts. Then I got red knobs on my genitals. I asked another guy, because he was more
experienced than me. He advised me to go and get tested. I was told that I have syphilis. I couldn’t believe it and tested twice. Then they
started asking for my passport data to register me. I got scared and left. I bought ampicillin and started applying it over the red knobs,
and they disappeared. A lot of time has gone now since then, no signs of it.

I’m already thirty years old, but thankfully… I never had anything like that. It’s not accidental. Unexpected things can’t happen to me.
Sex is not very important for me and in relationships I value the relationship above all. Losing my mind, having sex with someone in a
weird place, unprotected… no, things like that can never happen to me…

We’ve had protected sex for six months, then we got to know each other better and stopped using condoms. There were always SMS
going between us, it was so romantic, I lost my mind. I started trusting him. So one year passes like that. We’re like a couple now. We
go to clubs, we hug each other, waltz together. Then one time I see that I have something – it hurts when I pee. It was impossible to
go to toilet every time. This started worrying me a bit. Then I heard about “Nauchdiamed27. I decided to get tested.. They said I had
chlamidiosis. They prescribed a treatment. I followed it very seriously, according to schedule. They told me not to drink alcohol. Later
I understood that he cheated on me. I did not care already, I was only concerned that I had this thing. I was very angry, ready for
anything. But I loved him, right? So we met up. I told him that I got my analyses back and they found an infection. I told him that we
could go and get him tested tomorrow too. I said: “Let’s be open. Tell me, what happened?” He said that it happened against his will.
I got so angry because of that. And I felt better after I talked about my feelings. At the same time I was angry that I cared about him,
because he didn’t know about the infection. I called him. He wouldn’t pick up the phone. I’ve already finished my treatment. Anyway, I
loved him. I called him. And then I got a letter from him in my inbox: “Forgive me. You deserve better. We cannot be together. Good luck.”
Bitch. I had a feeling that I was thrown a bucket of cold water, when I read that. It got to me so much. I felt really bad. I didn’t respond.
That’s how we broke up. I haven’t talked to him ever since.

I read about it, that if you don’t use condoms, you might catch “tripper”28, gonorrhea, HIV, syphilils. I have a friend, who is interested in
these things, reads about that. He told me that even if a girl is infected, you might not get STIs or HIV the first time you have unprotected
sex with her.

I’m healthy. I haven’t been ill once. I never tested. I don’t know the names of diseases, why would I need it?

I wanted to get tested, but I didn’t know where and how. I was told that there is one place I could get tested in anonymously. It was
called “Nauchdiamed”. I went there and tested. Then I got my results. They were all negative. I felt so much better after that. So I made a
rule for myself – to get check ups every six months.

I don’t like going and getting tested, and particularly be treated in a friendly clinic. That’s because firstly, they ask for your passport
there. Secondly, although everybody says their treatment is free of charge, they first offer paid treatment, like, these medications are
more effective. And only then they treat you with those they have. By the way, is it true that humanitarian medications are not of a very
high quality? And the doctors in this clinic, to be honest, are not all that friendly…

27
A clinic that offered diagnostic, consultative and medical help within the framework of HIV/STIs prevention projects.
по профилактике распространения ВИЧ и ИППП.
67
28
Tripper – slang name for gonorrhea.
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

25 men inform that they have tested for STIs at least once in their lifetime.
5 men inform that they get check ups systematically (not rarer than once in 6 months) and preventively, on their own desire.
14 men get tested for STIs only sometimes to check, one time, non-systematically, accidentally, or only after risky sex.
3 men have informed that they test for STIs only when relevant symptoms are manifest.
3 men said that they get tested only in situations of medical inspection required by their employers, or when searching for a
job.
Have never tested themselves for STIs – 4 men.

At least once in their life time received positive results in STI check ups – 8 men.
Of them – turned to treatment 6 men.
Of them went through full treatment course – 4 men.
Stopped the treatment after disappearance of signs of infection – 4 men.
Of them got checked up after the course of treatment – 1 man.
Solved the problem with self-treatment – 2 men.

Used assistance of social workers in receiving the diagnostic and treatment services – 9 men.

“On one hand the scope of distribution of STIs in this group of population is an evidence of risky behavior within this group with
regards to HIV, since mechanisms of HIV transmission through sexual contacts and transmission of most widespread STIs are
similar. On the other hand, presence of a venereal disease in an organism increases the possibility of HIV infection”. [5]

68
HIV. He was told about it all the time. He knew that it could become a reality for him. Or maybe he never heard about it? He
wanted to know his HIV status. He did not care. Or maybe it is easier not to know anything.

I’m scared. I know – it’s dangerous and lethal. I don’t want to get checked up, only the already sick ones go there to submit their
analyses. I’m not sick, right. If I go to test for HIV, everyone will find out and think that I’m also sick.

I know about ways of transmission. Sexual, from mother to child, through mother’s milk, through blood. Condoms protect but not
100%. I don’t even know what to do. I’ve tested, the next day I got my results. There was no pre-test consultation, nobody asked for my
surname, or money.

I’m afraid. Even if I meet someone, I’ll run away from that man – so I don’t get infected. I know how you can get infected – sex, through
blood too. Still it’s fearful for me, a phobia. I’ve tested for HIV twice before marriage. In Kyrgyz State Medical Academy, it was free of
charge there. They told me how you can get infected, which ways etc. You need to protect yourself. But I do not always use condoms.

I tested for HIV. After a week, I was told that I need to come back. It’s clear even to a fool that if you were asked to come back, then it
means you’re positive. My friends who were negative were not asked to come back. So I test for HIV second time. Again after a week
I was told to come back. So I go to Logvinenko, 829. I got tested there three times – the first time I was positive, the second time I’m
positive, and then I tested for the third time to be completely sure – but they told me I was negative. Then there was a consultation. She
called me and asked: “Why did you decide to test for HIV? Did you have unprotected sex?” I said that I did have unprotected sex, but
none with HIV-positive ones. Still, I don’t use condoms, I just can’t.

I know how it’s transmitted. It’s when mother is breast-feeding her child. I don’t know others. Can you see by one’s appearance that he’s
got AIDS? I had one acquaintance. He had these sores on his face, not acne or pimples. But he was very beautiful. We went home with
him and had sex. With a condom. Could that be AIDS? Can there be sores like that on the face?

I don’t even think about it. Why? When I had to get tested for the sanitary book, I did. All was well. I don’t know and I’m not interested. I
don’t want to think about it. When I was getting tested nobody asked anything. I just got it and that’s it. That I’m gay? Of course I didn’t
tell them. You can’t do that around here. I will never tell about it. Anyway, I don’t get asked about that.

There was a guy. We’ve known each other for a long time and for one and a half year we were just friends. Then one time we were
alone and wanted to have sex. He offered me a condom, but our relationship was a trusting one. I didn’t have any thoughts that he
could have HIV. I was in a passive role. Afterwards I found out from his friends that he left abroad and that he’s HIV-positive. In about
six months from then I lost weight, the colour of my face changed. Something was happening with my health. And then I thought that
I might have that too. I was torn for a long time. Then I decided to get tested for HIV. They told me to come back after two weeks. This
torment lasted for two weeks, even more. When I went to find out my result, I was told that it was negative. Nothing changed after that.
At the moment when I found out, I was happy. Afterwards life became as it was before. Life continued. After that I also had unprotected
sex, sometimes. I didn’t think anything about HIV then. I was just having sex.

I participated in various seminars on HIV/AIDS, so I am sufficiently informed about HIV/AIDS. I got tested by PES30, then at the friendly
“RKVD” clinic, and on Toktogula/Gogolya. They consult us and give us brochures.

Address of the Republican Association AIDS (RA AIDS)


29 69
PES – “patrol” epidemiological surveillance.
30
Out of 30 men, who were interviewed:

Correctly list all ways of HIV transmission – 19 men.

28 men inform that they were tested for HIV at least once in their lifetime.
10 men inform that they test for HIV systematically (not rarer than once in six months) preventively, on their own desire.
8 men said that they test for HIV only sometimes to check, one time, non-systematically, accidentally, or only after risky sex.
6 men said that they test for HIV only in situations of medical inspection required by their employers, or when searching for a
job.
Have tested for HIV, but never returned to get their results – 3 men.
Have never tested for HIV – 2 men.
Have experience of VTC – 6 men. Of them are satisfied by it (information about risks, correct attitude) – 2 men.

“The necessity of HIV/AIDS prevention in its essence is a perceived, but not a self-experienced need of MSM”.[1]

“Afraid of meeting familiar people or district doctors, who might know the patient, MSM avoid turning to medical institutions in
their domiciliary for HIV and STIs testing.” [2]

“Some MSM have noticed that being informed is not a guarantee of safe behavior”. [2]

“A high level of basic knowledge regarding HIV/AIDS, ways of transmission and methods of prevention, although may not lead to
decreasing risky behavior, is a necessary condition under which prevention programs conducted have higher chances of success”.
[5]

“It is necessary to take into account two following factors:


- apprehension of a person towards possible HIV-infection;
- his ability to achieving changes in his behavior.
These abilities suppose an adequate level of self-appraisal, acknowledgement of value of own life, and also readiness of a person
to negotiate with their partners the usage of certain prevention measures”. [6]

70
HIV. Is it the worst that could happen to him? It will change his life completely. Or will change nothing in his life? He does
not believe it might happen to him.

I thought if they find HIV in me, if it happens, that I might possibly devote myself to religion. I would leave my wife and children behind
and pray for forgiveness for my sins. I would try to die sooner. Waiting for death is worse than death itself. It’s better to fully devote
yourself to religion and ask Allah for sooner death. Not to plague your relatives with your presence and torment yourself. Moreover,
that’s dangerous for the children and relatives.

Let’s assume I have HIV. I think HIV is not a death sentence – you can live with it. After I find out that I have it, I will tell my close ones. Not
my parents, but my boyfriend, so he has a choice. If he wants to – he will stay. I will accept his choice.

I thought about it already. If something like that happens – there’s always a rope and soap.

I’m not afraid of HIV, absolutely. I treat that subject calmly. I don’t even believe it exists. It was invented to make bucks. What an
interesting disease, which cannot be determined in any way, is not treatable, but you can still live 20 years more. I’ve never seen
anything like that in my life.

I pity them, those, the HIV-infected. Of course, I would never have a contact with them. If I had resources, I’d help them financially. Not
anyone, but those whom I sympathize. I’d help them elongate their lives for 2-3 years. It’s the end, after all. Actually, I wouldn’t sit like
that, I’d look for a sponsor, who’d help me get treated. Well, if it’s in the early stage, it can be treated. You can do everything in this age.
If I were doomed, I’d use my life fully. Maybe I’d leave somewhere. If I were doomed, I wouldn’t tell my parents, why bother them? They
would suffer, get old. When the symptoms would become apparent, I’d come up with an excuse and leave abroad, or somewhere very
distant. And I’d die there.

If my darling has HIV, I might get infected from him. And then we’d live with HIV together. It doesn’t matter whether you protect yourself
or you don’t, you just catch it and that’s it. But if my darling infected me without telling me about that, it’d be different, of course. But if
he tells me, it wouldn’t matter if we protected or not. If you protect yourself like that with your darling, it’d hurt him and offend him.

I don’t know, but I’m positive towards people with HIV. We’ll be friends, acquaintances just the same, no problems. Even if someone tells
me “this person is HIV-infected”, I’ll come up and say “Hi” first. Just to make him feel nice. I’ll go and dance with him – to improve his
mood.

I have an HIV-positive friend, who does not feel limited because of that. He bears himself alright, he’s not resentful. He takes everything
as it is. I would, probably, do the same thing. If I had sex, of course, I would warn my partner. If he still wants to have sex – good, if not –
then so be it.

If something happens, well, what can I do… I won’t hang myself. I don’t think it’s death… But it’s better to ask everyone you have sex
with, ask for a medical certificate, or use condoms…

I have always wanted to trust people. But HIV… I, of course, thought that if someone has it, they would tell about it.

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“Concern over limiting the spread of HIV/AIDS – is a perceived concern. In practice, men who have sex with men care more about
finding a man as a sexual partner and avoiding stigma and repressions”. [1]

“The main discourse is: ‘There is no HIV among MSM in Kyrgyzstan, we have other problems. Researches support that’. Stigma
and taboo, rejection and discrimination by society hold the upper lines in the list of concerns of homosexually active men in the
Republic”. [1]

“There is HIV among homosexually active men in Kyrgyz Republic”. [1]

“… one of the factors increasing the vulnerability of MSM towards HIV is the high density of ‘sexual communication networks’,
where HIV infection once appearing in one member of the subgroup quickly spreads over to others…” [5]

“An additional barrier… is depersonalization of the HIV/AIDS problem: majority of respondents were not personally
acquaintaned with any HIV positive person. The distance of the threat may lead to ignoring the need to protect from it”. [5]

“… A so-called HIV-optimism has been spreading within the MSM community. Assurance in availability and effectiveness of
contemporary antiretroviral therapy along with exhaustion of the community from constant and standard calls for safer sex
further the growth of practicing risky sexual behavior…” [4]

“Thus individual risk factors of HIV infection depend on relations of one with his partners and his milieu, and norms of behavior in
the social network; along with them there are also risk factors, which exert wide and powerful influence on human behavior such
as norms shared by society, state of health care system and education”. [2]

72
Or has it already happened?

I met him in the beginning of the year. Randomly. We were meeting with our common friends. I see that he is openly flirting with me. I
liked him as well. So I respond to the flirting. So we end up leaving to his place. We have sex. It was an unprotected one, although with
usage of less effective measures and precautions. I guess I trusted him. I wanted to trust. Anyway, I do not think it happened the first
time, although who knows. Everything was quite passionate. Then there was love, from my side. And from his as well, I guess… We get
to know each other and I become very attached to him. At one moment I just ask him: “Have you tested before for anything?” He takes
out his certificate from the AIDS centre, which says negative. We had sex – amazing, fantastic. Although, it was always like that with
him. It was different because of the emotional tension. It’s the line between tenderness and roughness, which you really must sense very
well. Later I find out that he advised his ex-boyfriend to get tested, because his own tests were “not very clean”. I start getting nervous.
We go and test as well. We get our results – they’re all negative. In half an hour the doctor calls me and says: “There was a hitch. You
need to re-test. And your friend as well”. I do not understand what happened, but I start guessing… Apparently their system is structured
like this – first they take the analyses to MIA31 clinic and people from there call back only in case any results are positive. Our doctor
was not called in time. She told us the result. The people from MIA called later and said there were two “positive” ones. So we went to
get re-tested. And we wait for the results again. I call her. She says: “Both IFA32 have come back positive.” So she takes it to RA AIDS for
the Western Blot. I tell him to come to me. I tell him how everything is. He says nothing. I understand that probably I got infected from
him. I was thinking how to behave so he does not feel too guilty that he infected someone else. There was silence. No “sorry”, nothing.
There was just silence. So I ask him: “Maybe you could say something?” “What’s there to say?” He takes me home. I think that he’ll come
upstairs with me to the flat. He says that he needs to go back to his work. “Don’t do anything stupid there”. Okay. I go home. Obviously,
I fall into a hysterical fit. It lasted for 10 minutes. Then I decided that if it already happened – it happened. What do I do now? I was
worried about my mom. That’s how realization of what happened hit me. It lasted for some time. Then I calmed down. I decided that
I need to do something with it. I continued working. I had friends and some colleagues who knew that I was going through all of that.
They supported me very much. But I thought of what would happen after. Well I thought that we will somehow live with it. I mean, I
didn’t have thoughts of breaking up with him. I kept on thinking that maybe he just didn’t know. Maybe he really was not to blame. I
didn’t know back then that he knew about it for about a year already. We went to the city he lived in to re-test. We wanted to be sure
there was no mistake. We come to the AIDS center, and I understand that everybody knows him. He greets one doctor, another one.
And at one moment I understand that he knew about it for a long time. I enter a consultation room to test, and this woman tells me:
“Ah, you’re with HIM. Yes, HE has been registered with us for a long time – since such and such time”. There. Then we came back. I tried
to understand why he did that. Did he want to take revenge on the whole world? Or was it for another reason? I needed to know why
he did that. I told him then that I know he was not only with me, and asked him if he had protected sex with the others. He said he did.
“Why am I so special then?” He said “I loved you so much. I thought you wouldn’t accept me. I didn’t want to lose you”. I forced him to
compile a list of people he’s been with on the spot. And convince them to get tested by whatever means – even SMS or anything. I clearly
saw the scope of the catastrophe. Condom is not a very popular thing among us…

Ministry of internal affairs


31 73
ELISA test (Enzyme-linked immunosorbent assay)- HIV diagnostic tool
32
A loved one. Or a boyfriend.Or a partner. He had the main love of his life already. It is there still. Or maybe he is only waiting
for it. Or maybe he was disappointed in love and is running away from it. There is no love. People, faces, partners change.

I lived for two years with one guy – he was 19. We lived together, rented an apartment. We lived together for two years. He came after
me to my work every day. Regardless of whether it was cold on the street, he waited for me. We would live together the whole life –
everyone was ideal. But… after two years he got in a car crash and died. I couldn’t come back to my senses for a long time after him.
For two years I didn’t want to meet anyone. What saved me from depression is my work.

Only in 1993 a newspaper was published, which had an ad “a guy is looking for a guy”. I sent one letter. Then another one. No one
responded to the first and second letters… Then we met… I have seen him before in the city, but for some reason thought he was a
foreign boy. He had curly hair, bright green cashmere coat. He had that slim cigarette… Could it really be that this boy is also “like
that”. He had nowhere to live, so I bought a flat. We lived together for 4 months. But these 4 months… a loud company, which only
wanted to drink and carouse. And I was used to working, being home. Having to join this carousing 24/7 was very difficult for me. He
was very open – he could do it with others in front of me. It was very unpleasant for me – a guy whom I fell for is cheating on me in
front of me. Of course, I was shocked. That was my first gay love. What I expected – and what happened. It was tormenting. We’re sort
of a couple. But one, when there is no mutuality, but only exploitation of one by another. Disappointment: my first love was my biggest
disappointment.

I started a relationship over the Internet with one guy from Tbilisi. First we got acquainted over Internet, then he called me. And he had
this voice and the accent: “Hallo, this is me from Tbilisi”. And that was it. I melted into a puddle right there by the phone. And that is
always how it is with Internet. He would tell me: “I will come, I will”. I thought it was complete bullshit. And so one time he calls me at
1 a.m.: “Hallo, I’m already in the airport. I am waiting for the Bishkek flight. I am flying to you”. It was the end of January 2006. I went
to meet him in the airport. For a week my head was blown over. It was something. A week. That’s very short. But, damn, so tense. All
this time we didn’t part not for a second, not for a minute. When he was leaving we both had a hysterical fit. He was crying there. I was
crying in the airport. We put our hands to the glass separating us, and we didn’t care at all about the people looking at us. When I was
back at home, I couldn’t go to work. I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t find a place for myself. In two days I lost 4 kilos. I didn’t eat, didn’t
sleep. Absolutely nothing. All that I was praying for was that somehow a thousand bucks would fall on me and I could buy a ticket to
Tbilisi.

I had a boyfriend. He had a role in my leaving the club, in stopping to dance there. We lived for 1,5 years together. His brothers were very
serious people. He was extremely jealous of me. He would lock me up at home, close me up for three days in a flat, tear the phone out of
my hands. He would beat me. Then he would come back and cry, asking to be forgiven. One time we were driving in a car. Another car
stopped near us. There was a guy inside – he smiled, I smiled back at him, so my boyfriend drove around this car, pulled out the guy and
almost killed him. His brothers barely settled it all with a whole lot of money. We broke up. But with him I could have had a permanent
relationship, forever, if not for his jealousy – we could be together till the end. He is still not married. We see each other once in a while.

I want to be with him very much. I am in love. But he is so – he cannot make himself out. He doesn’t let me know, but he also doesn’t say
we’ll be together. I ask him, and he asks for time, says that it’s hard for him. I’ve already fallen in love with him. I don’t want it to become
stronger. How will I suffer then? It’s better to part now than suffer later. I’ve already made up my mind. But he doesn’t let me go. He’s
called me six times already. We fell out a bit today and so I’m not picking up the phone. But I’m waiting for him to call anyway.

74
He believes in God. Or?

My mom celebrates all orthodox holidays. I used to go to the church for four years on Sundays. I needed that spiritually. When my
mom found out about my orientation, I stopped going. I don’t want my mom to be ashamed. My mom said that it’s a right thing that I
stopped going there.

In my family we have a moldо33. In my family everyone must be a Muslim. When I realized that I was gay, I got questions: “Why? How?”
Then I came to denial: if God existed, he wouldn’t have let this happen. And since then I do not follow any religion. I don’t tell that to my
relatives. Sometimes I obey the traditions, sometimes I don’t. I mean I don’t belong to any religion, but I can’t consider myself an atheist
either.

I studied theology. I served in a Church. They found my correspondence on the computer and I was dismissed from services. It is
persecuted anyway. But regarding religion and sin… We’re all alive and all are prone to sinful passions. According to Bible, extramarital
relations are also a sin, stealing is also a sin, as well as homosexualism. We’re all children of sin.

Islam is my faith, I believe in Allah. Who has sex with a man, to them all doors in the other world are closed. Every Friday I go to the
mosque to pray. We can pray. Only our good human actions can help us so God forgives us. If you were respectful towards your mom,
did not do kharam34, did not steal, did not kill, maybe God will forgive you in the other world. On that judgment day all our kin will
gather in hell… God will not forgive us our f..ks with men, it’s a great sin. The Muslim faith forces: marriage is obligatory.

I’m a very religious person. I go to the church. I pray and tell God every time: “You created me like that. I didn’t become one myself.
Accept me as I am. It is all Your doing”. I beg for forgiveness the best I can.

Oh, religion is a painful topic. I guess my understanding of religion is an individual one. I do not follow either Islam or Christianity.
There are educated people and uneducated people. Religion was created so it is easier to live for the latter. It is because many things are
written off for religion. You can write off truth and lies on religion.

I believe in God, I’ve lived for five years in a madrasah and read namaz. I think it’s a sin, but I have pleasure, and so I live.

I liked studying religion. First I went to the Orthodox Church. Then I started going to the Church of “…”. I went there for eight years.
I started serving there. They trusted me to preach. They had plans for me. Then I moved away. It was when I had sex with one guy. I
suffered a lot, I was very scared. I wanted to share it with someone and told about it to one “sister” there, but her mother overheard us.
She said: “You committed a sin”. The first time I still could preach, but then I was dismissed. I could still go to the church, but only to sit
and listen – they do not drive you out from there. I detached from it later myself, stopped going there.

I used to go to the church before. I’m christened. If it’s too difficult for me, I always pray to God. It helps. I always ask forgiveness for who I
am. Well, if I was born like that, I guess God wanted that. Because gays do exist, right?

Suffer from not being accepted by religion – 15 men.

33
In Kyrgyzstani families - an educated person, orthodox muslim, keeper of traditions, who has a right to perform
ceremonies.
75
34
n Islam – indication of sin.
He lives in harmony with himself. Or he wants to go from this life. He clearly sees his prospects. Or he feels despair. But he
lives.

I want to leave from Kyrgyzstan. I want to run away from my parents, from this responsibility: to marry, have children, get a career…

I have plans for my future. For the next year or so: to graduate from the university, get my diploma. Start a business so I could do what
I like, what I am attracted to. I don’t want to live in poverty. I want to have a prop behind me, so to say. I want something I could prop
against, so my children do not live in poverty.

I want to live, to prove. Whom should I prove anything except my family? That’s why I need to have more money. I want to be rich to
have a lot of money. When I’m 50-60 years old I want to give it up. When you can’t get an erection, but people still say you’re gay when
you pass them by.

I don’t plan my future at all. I live today. Who knows what happens tomorrow. You might go out on the street and a brick might fall on
your head, or you just get killed. Nobody knows what might happen even in five minutes from now. I just don’t plan and that’s it.

All people who are around me always see my achievements. I do not see them. I just do what I must do in this moment of my life. I do
understand that I must have done something. But they are not these mad achievements. My main achievements, the most important
ones – are my internal achievements. I learned a lot from others. I learned a lot from different situations. Of course, I did make mistakes.
But I have always drawn conclusions from these mistakes. I have always tried to understand something. Maybe not so, that I do not
make these mistakes again. But so that if I do make that mistake again, I will do it consciously. I will know what to be ready for and what
to expect, and what to do afterwards.

I managed to realize myself. I have always achieved what I wanted. I don’t know, maybe before I start something I make sense of
everything very well for myself. I dream about something for a long time, and when the situation is right – I realize it. Even in business.
Yes, I meet obstacles. Yes, there were unpleasant moments, but that means it was supposed to be like that – otherwise nothing would
happen. I think that I am a happy person.

I still live only because of my parents. If they were not alive, I would have, probably, committed suicide long time ago. I don’t know what
to live for. I want something unusual, special. For everything else to be there, but I cannot reach that myself, it’s impossible here. I don’t
like people too much. I don’t like their narrow-mindedness, their blindness. It would have been better here if people were more attentive
to each other, more tolerant.

I am gay. But you can’t live like that all your life. My plans for the future are to get married. If I don’t marry, I won’t have a future. I will be
able to start a family, live with my wife.

Life… It’s a difficult question… I don’t want to leave. I like Kyrgyzstan a lot. When I worked abroad I missed it terribly. I thought when I
come back home – I’d kiss its soil… I saw couples, gay couples that have been living together for seven, ten, twenty years. I would like
something like that to happen with me as well. So I would love him. And so it would be mutual…

76
And he has a dream.

I very much want to find a loving one. A man. I want to find my other “half” to live with him as a family. When you get enough of
carousing, in the end you want peace. I want my relatives to be healthy and never to fall ill. I want everything to be lovely and nice.
Maybe it will be, maybe I won’t be… I don’t know, oh, I don’t know. But that’s my dream.

We spend every weekend together. It’s so nice, so peaceful. We go to my place. He cooks. We watch movies together. We talk. Of course
we have sex afterwards. My dream? I want the weekend to come sooner.

We want to build a big house with my wife. I want to be able to send my mom on Hajj. I want to get a good job. I want my kids to be
healthy. I want everything to be well.

I want to have my own business. I want to become a designer of male clothing. I’ve been sewing since my childhood – for myself and
my friends. I can do it very well and my models are also interesting. I just don’t like repeating what I have already sewn, I won’t do it
second time. That’s my dream.

I dream that when my mom is 70, she is 60 now, so it will be in 10 years from now – I will find a way to continue living, however it is, but
that would be with her. It doesn’t matter how much money you earned and what kind of nurses you can hire. Anyway, the only son – is
the only son. I dream to learn to write well. I think I have something to tell. I want to be a publicist. I would write about life, real people,
events, impressions. I would write about what surrounds us. I’d offer a creative analysis of what is happening to me, to people, to the
city, to the country, to the whole world.

I want a car. For starters, I’d like to learn driving. And only then get a car. But in reality that’s not a dream. If it were a dream, I would
have done that long ago.

To start a family. Family is obligatory. You don’t have to marry. It does not mean my other “half” will be a girl. But I will have children for
sure, in any case. I love children. First of all, a child sees from his very first years what is happening in front of his eyes. Children treat it
normally. There can be same-sex couples in practice. I will just explain it. I will inform the child in a way the child can understand.

My partner has left to Europe forever. We thought for a long time what to do. So he offered me to move over to where he is. Right now
we have registered a civil union there. I am finishing my things here and want to leave to him. But I am still tormented by doubts: “Am I
doing the right thing?” In general, I am going to uncertainty. It’s very hard. I have a family here, friends, my job. Even if I feel bad, I know
where to go. Well, I risked having the registration, we’ll see how it goes afterwards. My dream? We’ll see later. To go as planned, but if
something changes – change the plans. I will go to my partner, live there. If I find myself there, I will stay, if not – I will come back. War
will show the plan. I’ve seen beautiful life. And I want to have a beautiful life. I can’t say that I want to be rich, but I want to have enough
money to do what I want and so my relatives have enough as well. I know how money is earned, and how easily it can be spent. I want
to live in prosperity.

I want to have love in my life very much. I dream… I see a small house. A dog is running around there. I am doing my favorite thing
– writing. I cannot see the face of the person I am with. But every evening I stand by the window and wait for him… I want to fill
someone’s life with meaning.

77
Instead of an epilogue
In Kyrgyzstan homophobia and discrimination of persons with alternative sexuality remain preserved, as well as poor
awareness of the population and representatives of various public institutes about homosexuality and bisexuality.
Stereotypical and mythical conceptions about persons with alternative sexual orientation, their life style, their system of
values, their personal and moral characteristics still influence the opinion, position and attitude of Kyrgyzstani citizens
towards gay and bisexual men. The intractable for now difficulties in lives of persons with homo- and bisexual orientations
are a consequence of this. Among the after effects of this situation are:

Difficulties in relationships of gay and bisexual persons with members of their families – parents, brothers and sisters, other
relatives. They could be: aversion of the family, rejection and isolation, loss of relations with relatives, loss of house and family
support, lack of material support, aggression on the part of closest ones.
Formation of an internalized homophobia in a gay or bisexual person. And as a consequence, decrease in subjective value
of their own life, development of anxious and depressive disorders, self-destructive forms of behavior, including indifferent
attitude towards own health, behavior with inadequate assessment of risks (including STIs/HIV) and dangerous sexual
practices.
Everyday life, which is conjugated by manifestations of stigma and discrimination, or expectation of it. Mockery, offending
comments, threat of aggression or aggression, physical violence or its possibility, fear of all these components of life of
persons with homo- and bisexual orientation are still a reality of Kyrgyzstan.
Limitation of rights and freedoms and unequal conditions of existence in the legal field. Lack of support by the government
and public institutions towards gay and bisexual men remain one of the deficiencies of formation of democracy in
Kyrgyzstan. Their “invisibility” before the government, and the fact that sexual orientation is not clearly mentioned in the
list of categories of identities in the anti-discrimination legislation makes homo- and bisexual persons more vulnerable
compared to all others, and preserves the probability of hate crimes committed against them.

A low level of care for own health, high risks of development of somatic diseases and STIs/HIV infection has a place in the
population of gay and bisexual men. Among the mentioned risks are

Low level of turning to medical help, which may be caused by the lack of motivation, mistrust of healthcare workers,
connected on the not always positive attitude towards gay and bisexual men, fear before discourtesy or violation of
confidentiality by medical specialists, limited financial resources, inaccessibility of medical services, lack of friendly medical
specialists.
Lack of knowledge about own health related needs and specifics of own health connected to life mode and sexual practices.
Lack of adequate knowledge among persons practicing same sex sexual relations about preventive measures, probabilities
of infection, clinical manifestations, consequences, necessity of diagnosing and treating STIs, HIV and infectious and invasion
diseases of the gastro-intestinal tract.
Presence of inadequate caution towards HIV based on limited information availability, and its not entire reliability. Such
incorrect ideas are mostly caused by traditions and delusions existing inside the informal networks.

78
Low level of using the protection means in sexual contacts based on preconceptions, among which are:
- decreased pleasure from sex when using condoms,
- discomfort while using condoms
- inability to find a comfortable type of condoms,
- usage of condoms as a sign of mistrust
- trusting the partner, with whom one has a permanent or loving relationship
- familiarity with partner or cohabitation with him in one settled area
- lack of tangible signs of having STIs (outward signs, smell)
- lack of necessity to protect one’s self in case partner can offer a medical certificate certifying absence of STIs and HIV.
Among the factors influencing the fact of using condoms were mentioned: reluctance of partner, decrease of control when
using psycho-active substances.
Existence of high risks in sexual behavior of gay and bisexual men. Among them:
- meeting through Internet, media ads, thematic clubs and specific meeting places, the aim of which most often is looking
for a partner for one time sex.
- frequent change of partners based on inability to build long-term and permanent relationships
- sex in inappropriate places
- providing services of sexual character for financial rewards and sex work
- experience of group sex

The high risks in sexual behavior of gay and bisexual men and low level of care for their own health identified during the
research allow to surmise that work conducted within the framework of existing prevention programs provided by AIDS-
servicing state organizations and NGO’s is not adequately effective and needs improving.

79
Recommendations for leaders and activists of the gay and bisexual communities, members and employees of LGBT grass roots
organizations and initiative groups, and organizations implementing HIV/AIDS prevention programs, working on protection of
interests and promotion of LGBT rights, offering services to LGBT and MSM.

To conduct work aimed at decreasing institutionalized homophobia, overcoming stigma and discrimination of homo- and
bisexual men, increasing tolerance towards people with alternative sexuality.
To provide reliable and correct information about diversity of sexuality, people with homo-and bisexual orientations, human
rights. To correct erroneous stereotypes about people with alternative sexuality existing in the society. To use as instruments
public actions, information campaigns, seminars, trainings and publication of information materials. Representatives of
governmental institutions, workers of education and healthcare systems, employees of law enforcement bodies, human
rights defenders, media representatives may be chosen as target groups of such activities. The work conducted must be
systematic and long term in order to increase its effectiveness.
To monitor cases of discrimination of persons based on their sexual orientation and documentation of violations of human
rights of persons with homo- and bisexual orientation. To promote protection of interests of victims of discrimination and
execution of punishment of those, who have committed acts of discrimination.
To lobby the implementation of the existing anti-discrimination legislation with regards to persons with homo- and bisexual
orientation or introduction of protection from discrimination based on sexual orientation into legislation.

To conduct work aimed at overcoming social and psychological determinants of vulnerability to STIs and HIV, which exist
among men with homo- and bisexual orientation.
To conduct work on overcoming internalized homophobia and prevention of complications of family relations as a result
of coming out to relatives and others. With this goal: to conduct support groups, peer to peer consultations, psychosocial
consultations of parents and members of families of gay and bisexual men, publish information materials for persons from
the community and their relatives, which contain correct information about sexual orientation, needs of people, difficulties in
coming out, successful cases of being accepted by relatives, difficulties and consequences of rejection.
To regulate a systematic work aimed at increasing the level of care for own health among persons with homo- and bisexual
orientation. With this goal: to conduct trainings and publish materials, containing information about health related risks,
prevention measures, probabilities of infection, clinical presentations, consequences, necessity of diagnosing and treating
STIs and HIV, infectious and invasion diseases of the gastro-intestinal tract, necessity of systematic monitoring of own health
and turning for qualified medical help. To control the quality of conducted information campaigns and published materials.
To engage qualified and friendly medical specialists in this work.
To endow persons with homo- and bisexual orientation with quality and reliable information about HIV/AIDS, to correct
delusions and preconceptions regarding to HIV/AIDS.

80
To conduct work aimed at improving the quality and increasing effectiveness of HIV and STIs prevention provided by AIDS-
servicing governmental and non-governmental organizations.
Before planning work on STIs and HIV prevention, to study the portrait of the target group, the informal networks within the
target group, their needs and conceptions, taking into account territorial and traditional specificities. To plan work taking into
account the necessity to reach out to beneficiaries of different nationalities and cultural traditions, living in remote areas of
the country, who are included in the group of difficult to access and vulnerable persons.
To conduct research work with attraction of qualified specialists for further study of determinants of vulnerability to STIs and
HIV, ways of their minimization and assessment of effectiveness of preventive measures undertaken.
To build work on HIV prevention based on existing and described best practices. To use technical support of specialists with
expertise in this area in constructing HIV prevention programs, implemented by grass roots organizations and initiative
groups. To attract external experts for assessment of effectiveness and improving prevention programs when needed.
To attract to outreach work, social work and consultations persons, who have the necessary set of knowledge and skills.
To offer the hired employees the possibility of studying the requested professional skills with consequent evaluation of
professionalism.
To accompany distribution of protection means with quality information component, aimed at overcoming existing barriers
towards safer sexual behavior.
To widen the package of services taking into account the needs of beneficiaries. For example, to include in the package
services of specialists, who offer psychological and legal support, and medical specialists, who do not only work on problems
of STIs and HIV.
To form a system of social referrals, which provides accessibility of medical, social and legal services, and also services on
inspection and treatment of STIs and HIV based on officially negotiated partnership with friendly providers of respective
services.
It is desirable to include work on adherence to healthy life style and forming skills of caring after own health as one of the
components of STIs and HIV prevention programs.

81
Sources, which we cite:

(1) ВИЧ и мужчины, которые имеют секс с мужчинами, в Кыргызской Республике. Оценка и обзор. Роберт Ооствогельс.
2005 (http://volvox.in.kg/library?cat=31)
HIV and MSM in Kyrgyz Republic. Assesment and overview.
Robert Oostvogels. 2005

(2) Исследование потребностей МСМ в программах профилактики ВИЧ и ИППП и медицинских услугах в России – Москва,
2009
Study of the needs of MSM with respect to HIV and STI prevention and medical care in Russia – Moscow, 2009

(3) Любовь небесного цвета. Кон И. С. – С.-Пб.: Продолжение жизни, 2001 (http://sexology.narod.ru/book11.html)
Love of sky color.
Kon I.S. – St-Petersburg, 2001

(4) Медицинские аспекты, связанные со здоровьем ЛГБТ. Юрий Саранков – Социальная работа с людьми, практикующими
однополые сексуальные отношения: Теория. Методики. Лучшие практики./сост. Л. Гейдар – К.: Международный Альянс по
ВИЧ/СПИД в Украине, 2009
Medical aspects connected with LGBT health.
Yuri Sarankov in Social work with people practicing same sex relations: Theory. Methods. Best practices.
Compiled by L.Gaydar - Kiev, Ukraine. 2009.

(5) МСМ: проблемы ВИЧ/СПИД – шаги выхода из кризиса. (обзор поведенческих исследований) Ю. Амирханян. – Информа-
ционный дайджест «LaSky». №1, 2006
MSM: HIV/AIDS problems – steps out of crisis. Yuri Amirkhanyan – “LaSky”. Digest №1– Moscow, 2006

(6) «Розовая психотерапия»: руководство по работе с сексуальными меньшинствами. / Под ред. Д. Дэйвиса и Ч. Нила – С.-
Пб.: Питер, 2001
Pink Therapy. A guide for counsellors and therapists working with lesbian, gay and bisexual clients.
Edited by D.Davis and C.Neal - St-Petersburg, 2001

(7) МСМ: общественное мнение, стигма и дискриминация. МСМ Инфо Центр / Дайджест № 1 – М.: РОО «СПИД инфосвязь»,
2007.
MSM: public opinion, stigma and discrimination. MSM Info Center. Digest №1 – Moscow, 2007

(8) Развитие сообщества МСМ и программы «равный-равному». МСМ Инфо Центр / Дайджест № 4 – М.: РОО «СПИД инфос-
вязь», 2007.
Development of MSM community and “peer to peer” programs. MSM Info Center. Digest №4 – Moscow, 2007.

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Shortly about authors:

Irina Karagapolova. Psychiatrist. Human rights defender. Specialist on developing advocacy programs and HIV/AIDS
prevention programs among LGBT. Head of Empowerment and Education department of LGBT organization “Labrys”,
Kyrgyzstan.

Aleksei Gurkin. Specialist on communications in the area of HIV/AID aimed at decreasing stigma. Independent consultant
on development of HIV prevention programs.

Bakyt Beishenov. Assistant of Empowerment and Education department of LGBT organization “Labrys”, Kyrgyzstan.

Stories of
gay and bisexual men.
Kyrgyzstan.
2009 – 2010.
(Based on research of life modes and sexual practices of gay and bisexual men living in Kyrgyz Republic.)

Irina Karagapolova – head of research, author.

Original design and layout: Bakai Tashiev

Edition - 35 copies

Printed at the center of small offset printing “ASKA“


st. A. Ogonbaev, 93, Bishkek, Kyrgyz Republic
www.aska.kg 83
84

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