volume sixty-three, issue zero & august 25, 2017 2, x Masthead & ‘managing editor-in-chief ‘dade akolo ‘content editorin-chief Taryn patker ‘arts & eulowre ‘onde odor opinions penelope evans mies Add avant garg Wear offtoa great tart The printer has abandoned us ue ‘The scanner ig scratched. The typewriters running omits shania perera last eg. And ifwe can sill bring yu this wonderful se then you can do anything you put your min aniela malmoudi & alice yang Good luck trying to Figur out what the fick this paper ‘Weetill don't know, Either way, this gay and greasy paper willbe there for yu. anlitsang, copy-editor Love, 'you:>) Dede Akolo and Taryn Parker Baitors-in-Chiet production manager ‘saa champion ittustrator jodi eutencier penelope evans staff emeritus amis starunner front cover | jodi euteneer back cover masthead and the Gargoyle contributors ‘ava akolo. isobel eamegie About us ‘The Gargoyle is University College's greasiest student newspaper and publishes every two weeks. We area paper that believes sometimes you should be angry, and sometimes you shouldbe loud, and i you have not hada voice before, you deserve a voce: We dont give print space to bigots and wwe dont feign neutrality on issues of socal justice. Peace keep your arms and legs inside our ‘eastomissue hugbox at all times. “The Gargoyle dungeon / office is located in 6, accessed by the F door inthe UC quad 416.946.0081 submissions uegargoylecatr oem fn eperen Lol jk Sindee pent We meth penelope ‘And by now, you'te thinking: I dont know bow ‘Many more ers 1ean do before 1 [Rai of embarrassment or Bose my voice ot nimit to someone that That this Caarine ey, sick But bet youre at least Hebi embarrased. Think fosh sucks because horny ery around it sucking. Getting teeth thie sul There's no way to meet 20/90/100 Pati yourr suppose to make ends wit and Fee ard time under that pressure na ey sit down, If you're sick of acting, Hi you are fn, fny/cook, that's fine Mee ani fodh ended forme unt found this Tair paper Foch dest end for some of unt BY Pot iat year, Frosh doesn't ed for some fotos unt we graduate os ea good piece of advice forgetting ot Ton arin the best advice T ca give 1 10 of froeh ig yourself as a person. And if youre a wth you are a person. Be foshie 20 Tonge‘shania pere ra & sofia champion ‘Want to fight against white supremacy on campus? Here's nity gue to handing the ‘vents ofa counterprotest. Leave those tk torches in your backyard, and don't forget punch a Nazi in the face 1. Counter-protests, by thei very nature, have “a certain. degree "of ‘spontaneity involved to them. Be sure to keep upto date ‘with organizers and those in the lop. Know {our rights and figure out whether of aot the ‘organizes have a permit to protest in that partial 2. Plan accordingly with frends, Youl be in the midst of various emotional responses ‘and physical aberration, so sticking to your srOup is easental. That being sa, « good founter-demo will” have’ competent organizers who understand the risk potential ‘of the action. If thi information isnot provided (and updated ar deta eome out), You may need! to reevaluate attendance etry. Mobilize the Frosh: A quick guide to safe counter-protests. 4. Dress appropriately, Photography and oxxing, “ot counterprotesters is commonplace. Do. not be distinctive Wearing” forgettable’ ‘dothing is strongly advised Wear shoes you are comfortable 4, Do not forget to bring your phone and a Piece of governimen-issued ID. ‘enemy cameras 6. Listen closely to the voioes and concerns of the marginalized. I's never too late to learn, and shutting down inthe face of criticism is detrimental to the cause 7. Protests can definitely provide a sense of radical change and. togetherness but eeognie that the struggles in which you partepate are still unfolding, and. wil ‘require your long-term commitment,1 Hur pate eae TIPS any 2. SetlcateeAma pine Seer cee FROSH eer ou prime account 4 dustaceept now that ll youl dois binge tin your room come November and That’. All. You Ever. Do, ‘There's no such thing as too much lube Click at the squirrels an they will come toyou. They may be your only fiends first year, and that's ok, beens you can tse them to enact revenge second year. arg erew 7. Start smoking dats, each one will bring you closer toa painless non-existence 8. "The Fre Nation willbe at their weakest during the elipse so at noon, westrke ‘9. Use the right foundation forthe burn scar your father gave you 10. Theres no war in basing se 1 Procet anges ales qq 42, Donot ty to get gf, she wl iterally ‘become the moon Use bu spray because west really bad in toronto this year 14. Ticks ae also realy bad 35: Aopreciatefeecondms while theyre 16, Don’t get to drunk to be unable to go to the event that you pid for 17. Get id ofall your stuff nov, youl either spill wine oni or your roommate wil, Steal ¢minimalisen 18, Don't ink the eats juice 29. Don't goto the frat party. Don't go the fucking ft party, 20, Listen to more Matiah Corey ENTER THE Prose Hore.at 1 ObSE ar field SUSY (On the ais of August, while most of ‘Canada and America were risking the safety of thee retina (I don’ believe in DIY space gear), ‘vas mostly inside writing a journal entry on how Tnuch space scares me- I journeyed out with hesitation, for only pet related reasons: to check that my friend’ balcony dooes were lsed so her fats didnt look atthe elipse and blind themselves, and to walk the dog. This is when T watched (er, studied) everyone go mts over Something I find vaguely terrifying but also cool These are my (very scent) observations from the eld (AKA Queen West) 1 Several moms with thelr babies, the moms wetting weird glasses~ but not the babies?! 2° Same deal but with Dog Parents. Dogs and. babies deserve eliae eyewear to. ‘3, The whole world looked tke it had a bad instagram fier ont, with the saturation turned vwanaay down. {The solar tnomaly became another excuse to day drink om Ine or root. Tam not against day seo a ae nshjamals St weotons ene ror ha Soak iran a hf our seine — “9 ek nse the olerance to iit jWayhomies: IA «x how . Sou wil miss roan ending en ints ate, Ot Starting be bs - NXNE duving the summer..: : A the Asia GhovEhy STORE WE WET ug” _ loor bert! ER BN Sani and daniel. jowhs 001 as $0 Nevth By Nevtheast, ant annual Ufudfermste festival took plac at coms point ier Feta! bol it was arguably so liminal beat the month days ot A RE evs Pim se FY realm, (THE MouTH HAS BEEM CANCELED suté) es WERE ABouT FUR WHOLE PEOPLE AT PoRTLAIDS ees WHERE THis PESTWWAL Took PLACE. WERE May Woke THA ie y BANDS, LESS THAW loo BoT VEPIMITELY The ads we Saw thelvoled white, alt boys Ureley the banned of Twrme—Kper Twin PERICS (thivgh ne 206/408 Small towm teiateh) whe Played ae rats Fritndtone, But the head linay of the "i _ aie Ami Pn sacra of 2s far the evar ted Bel cite eae CR Rett ne eae oreo v= ME OTHER NEWS. WE HAD SOME AMAZIOE FUCKING TAs c HEESECAKE se Mee EROCE hy STORE we RA UTD THs WAYS IWEMT PY ERE Many VERS. Bod EXTeA Rae eine Sc toot wiTH quent was also a definitely - rob haunted Ferris whut in the venve thet [deo ni £66 an he was apparently stuck on it fer an I until SemeonsHAE You ReaD “ARIEL” By S¥cvIA £ (peaTH72 a 5 {HAVE you MASTERED SWApows CLon€ SVISU?