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Understanding a Woman

Understanding a Woman

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This paper is general paper on Understanding a Woman yet it includes some points about what we really think while being with them.
This paper is general paper on Understanding a Woman yet it includes some points about what we really think while being with them.

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Categories:Types, Brochures
Published by: kris.bista@gmail.com on Jun 24, 2008
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Understanding Women

At long last... The Men’s Guide to what a woman really means when she says something. Pay close attention (there might be a quiz later). You want = You want We need = I want It’s your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now. Do what you want = You’ll pay for this later. We need to talk = I need to complain Sure... go ahead = I don’t want you to. I’m not upset = Of course I’m upset, you moron! You’re ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot. You’re certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I’m not emotional! And I’m not overreacting! = I’m on my period. Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs. This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house. I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper..... I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white. Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there! I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep. Do you love me? = I’m going to ask for something expensive. How much do you love me? = I did something today you’re really not going to like. I’ll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V. Is my butt fat? = Tell me I’m beautiful. You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me. Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you’re dead.] Yes = No No = No Maybe = No I’m sorry. = You’ll be sorry. Do you like this recipe? = It’s easy to fix, so you’d better get used to it. Was that the baby? = Why don’t you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I’m not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important. All we’re going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we’re stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new pocket books, and OMIGOD those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook? (The answer to "What’s wrong?") The same old thing = Nothing Nothing = Everything Everything = My PMS is acting up Nothing, really = It’s just that you’re such an asshole I don’t want to talk about it = Go away, I’m still building up steam Source: http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/2-24-2002-12089.asp

Other ways to understand a woman

1) Buy them flowers. Simple and always effective. The only time this does not work is when you are trying to mask something bad you have done. Note - guilt flowers do not work, and will make it worse. 2) Always do what they are waiting for you to do. I used to think this was “being too obvious” but no, it isn’t. If your woman complains that you never announce your love for her, then do it within the next 10 minutes. If she mentions that you never get her flowers, then get them the next time you step outside the door. Believe me, being obvious is a good deal better than being wrong. 3) Compliment them to a ridiculous level. This goes for both sexes , but women are especially happy to soak up compliments. Note: stretching the truth a little here is acceptable, but if you find yourself lying to your woman every single time you compliment her, then you have yourself a problem. Solution: get a new woman, or let her get a new guy. 4) Breakfast in bed. Oh yes, a timeless classic. Arriving at 8:30 on a Sunday with a tray containing toast, an egg, a cup of tea and a newspaper will make you Prince Charming for a whole week.

5) Clean the fucking flat. I do not mean to suggest that all men are slobs and that woman are always clean, but scientific research has shown that, in general, woman have a lower complexity threshold than men (I DID have a link here, but I lost it…) and therefore get more affected by untidiness (not all, but on average). So whip out the mop, clean out the cat box and do the washing, you know it’s your turn anyway. 6) Do unexpected stuff. I do not mean that you should suddenly leap out from behind a door with a pair of tights on your head, I mean NICE unexpected stuff: a sudden dinner, an unexpected massage, or a weekend trip somewhere. 7) Remember dates. Oh very important, this one, and these days, with the average man carrying around more computer power that the Apollo program, there is no excuse at all. Think google calendar, think outlook, think ICQ, think a piece of paper pinned to your desk at work, just THINK. Dates are important, and not just for your loved one, so work it out! And finally, a note to all men – the ladies fall in love with us for our charm and rough edges, but they will only keep us when we show that we can take a certain degree of training. Remember, a good woman will change you, but it’s almost always for the better

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