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SEXPERTISE 2 Take her on a rodeo ride or
Stats on studs, great gear and explore the X-File tonight.
how you can last the distance.
SEX-ERCISES 6 Everything you wanted to try
Get your love muscles in shape. – and how to get her to join in.


THE Rub her up the erotic way. A-to-Z advice for a seduction
session that’ll rate a perfect 10.
How to drive a good girl bad. REAL MEN ROMANCE 26
Romantic recipes that’ll have

her eating out of your hand.






SEXPERTISE | Hot Numbers Last the Distance | SEXPERTISE

Between the Sheets

It’s commonly said that opposites attract, but when it comes to sex,
Body Talk
Work the flattery
men and women have (thankfully) plenty in common

MEN WOMEN When you approach a woman’s body,

you should first exercise your tongue
Doggy-style sex The sexual activity Cunnilingus The sexual activity most likely to its fullest potential
most likely to bring a man to orgasm. to make a woman come. – conversationally, that is.

7 Percentage of men who will answer 22 Percentage of women who will answer the > HAIR
a telephone during sex. phone while shagging. (“Hello, Paris speaking.”) Keep it general, like how
it shines. No style tips: she
23 Percentage of men who’ve faked 56 Percentage of women who have done might blame you if they
an orgasm. a “Meg Ryan”. don’t work.

4-in-10 Number of men who 1-in-10 Number of women who > BREASTS
would sleep with a woman would still sleep with a man if Avoid offensive terms: “knockers”,
even though she didn’t ask
them to use a condom.
he didn’t “don a raincoat”. “udders” and so on. Create
your own vocabulary.
By working one small muscle at the gym, at
25 Percentage of women who’ve “Women fall in love your desk or while fishing, you can increase your
42 Percentage of men fantasised about having sex with with what they hear,” orgasmic power and lower the risk of impotence
who’ve fantasised about their best mate’s husband. (We think reveals Ann Convery, – without getting arrested. Get a grip with these
having sex with their best that’s a compliment.) a communications techniques:
mate’s wife. expert. Kegel exercises are used to tone up and
1-in-5 Number of women who have had strengthen the pubococcygeus muscle (PC),
1-in-20 Number of men who’ve an orgasm from using exercise equipment. > LIPS which is involved in orgasm and ejaculation.
had an orgasm from using exer- Talk size, shape, colour. Be specific about How to find your pc muscle
cise equipment. 5 to 7 days The lifespan of a sperm in features that are unique to her. Stop and restart your urination. The muscle
a woman’s body after sex. you’re flexing is the PC.
2.5 months The lifespan of > BUTT The basic kegel exercise
a single sperm in a man’s body. Tertiary-educated women are
nine times more likely
“Use jargon like ‘booty’. ‘Backside’ and ‘rear’
sound old-fashioned,” Convery advises. “Con- 1 Contract the muscle and hold for a count
of 10, then relax.
Men with a university education
are twice as likely to be homosexual
to be lesbian. vince her you love it; adore it, claim it, name it.”
2 Repeat. Aim for at least 10 sets, several
times a day.

than those without. 1-in-5 Number With your PC muscles now firmly toned over

of women who Discuss her softer angles and curves when several weeks, your favourite body part will be
1-in-5 Number of men who say that the say that penis size she’s on her back, so her stomach is flat. more powerful than a medieval battering ram.
size of a woman’s chest is important. is important. (But a lot more welcome.)
> LEGS If you contract the PC muscle during
16 Percentage of men who think about 6 Percentage of women who think about sex every Say they’re in good shape. You’ll lose cred- sex, it acts like the brakes on a car and can halt
sex every 20 minutes. 20 minutes. ibility if you say you love them and she doesn’t. ejaculation, while still allowing you to orgasm.


SEXPERTISE | Hot Numbers Last the Distance | SEXPERTISE

Globe Trotter’s Sex Stats

How do we compare to the rest of the world when it comes to sex?
Pleasure Gaming
Open the Men’s Health pleasure chest for the latest in sex accessories
We review the data
> Whet™ Lube Adding some lube to

1 Each day, there are over

120 million people having
sex all over the world.
5 Sexual partners the
world over 9 Globally, twice as many
men (64 percent) as
women regularly have
your sensual play enhances almost
every situation. Available in the unfla-
voured and unscented Extra Virgin,
orgasms. or two seductive flavours: Vanillicious
USA 13 9
2 Globally, 60 percent of
people say sex is fun. Japan
10 10 Amount of time
needed for a man
and SlipBerry. R45 each

> The Delight A vibrator made to

3 Globally, people are hav-

ing sex 103 times a year,
while 35- to 44-year-olds are
South Africa
to regain erection: from two
minutes to two weeks.
stimulate the G-spot; the Delight
provides five intense vibration set-
tings and three pulsation settings.
Russia 28 17
getting the most action. Here’s She’ll love you for this. R1 450
how we stack up with the
world on having sex weekly: 6 Percentage of women
who want sex every day > Go Girl Spray Stimulating spray that
encourages blood flow for her and will
HAVING SEX WEEKLY WANTING DAILY SEX make her sensitive to your touch. R220
USA 53% China 15%
UK 55% UK 20% SELF > Rude Boy A hands-free toy that com-
Australia 60% Brazil 22%
SERVICE bines a vibrating massage of the prostate
France 70% Portugal 27% What the average South FLIP TO A FLICK and perineum glands, promoting
stronger erections and a more
South Africa 71% South Africa 33% African woman gets up to: Movies to get you moving...
intense orgasm for men. R750
Brazil 82% Russia 34%
> Percentage of women who Erotic DVDs are sex toys too. Here are some

4 Globally, 44 percent of
people are sexually satis-
The Netherlands and
Philippines tie with a miniscule
own a vibrator that is 20cm
long 15
films that she will love :
Last Tango in Paris
> Muree Vibrating Cock Ring
Prolongs and strengthens erec-

1)050(3"1)4*450$,1)050$0. 1"$,4)054+".&4("3"()5:
fied. Leading the pack is India 14 percent of their women not > Percentage of women Marlon Brando before he got fat, in the hottest tions for you and gives great clito-
– with 61 percent satisfied. And wanting sex every day. who‘ve had sex up to five- anal-sex film ever. ral stimulation for her. R240
surprisingly the French get the times in a day 8 Deep Throat
lowest satisfaction with 25
percent. Where we stand: 7 Fifty-one percent of
women say they mastur-
bate in front of their partner.
> Percentage of women who
admit to feeling their most
turned on during their ovula-
The fellatio classic.
9 ½ Weeks
A mainstream film about S&M.
> Mycero Finger Vibes A clitoral stim-
ulator that fits on your finger. You’ll
have the Midas touch. R240
SEXUALLY SATISFIED tion period 75 Kama Sutra

France 25% One-third of women who > Percentage of women who A modern Indian erotic film by director > Toy Joy Cleaner An antifungal and anti-
UK 40% meet people online have claim to have had an orgasm Mira Nair. bacterial spray for the concerned. ’Cause
Australia 42% sex on the first date, and a while asleep 58 Unfaithful sex doesn’t have to be that dirty. R160
Brazil 42% whopping three-quarters > Percentage of women who An enmeshed story of love, betrayal, and really
of those surveyed do not use would love to masturbate hot, angry sex. All available at Whet Sensuality Emporium at www.whet.
USA 48%
a condom. in front of you 48 (Get these from Push Play at (* Prices are subject to exchange-rate fluctuations.)
South Africa 50%



Learn Her Secrets

Avoiding her turn-offs is as important as hitting her hot spots.
Follow this masterclass to hot-wire her circuits

The problem: Her wandering mind

Women are programmed to be responsive
to danger, says Peta Heskell, founder of the
Attraction Academy. “‘Will someone walk in?
Can the kids hear?’ The stress stops her body
producing oestrogen.” And that’s a hormone
you really need to flow. It sends blood rushing
to the genitals and triggers lubrication.
The solution
“Remove external distractions,” says Dr Pam
Spurr, author of Fabulous Foreplay. “Bright

Simple workouts to build muscles that turn her on – and set her off
lights and loud sounds are stressors, so cut
them out with mood lighting and soft music.”
Next, give her a hand. Or maybe two. “Stroking
The problem: Her post -
orgasm disinterest
her skin releases oxytocin,” says professor of Wake up boys – you’re not the only ones
psychology Diane Witt. “And this causes a who can’t be bothered after the act.
Bending Side Press Kneeling Hip- rush of pleasure-enhancing endorphins.” We’ve all developed a post-passion
Use two hands to hoist flexor Stretch “off-switch”. Levels of the hormone
the barbell or EZ-curl bar As your left knee (the one in The problem: Being rough prolactin soar by 400 percent,
to your shoulder, then front) goes forward, you’ll If you fail to handle her clitoris with care, which sends dopamine levels
press it overhead. Do six feel the stretch on the right you’ll be showering early – by yourself. Too plummeting, and this mecha-
to eight repetitions with side of your pelvis. If you’re much too soon turns most women off. nism shifts attention else-
your weaker arm (your after a deeper and more During arousal, blood rushes to erectile where: to hunting and gather-
left if right-handed), then advanced stretch, try leaning tissue in her clitoris, causing it to emerge ing, building shelters and so on.
repeat the set with your back slightly. Hold for 15 from under the hood. Touch her here before Without this natural, protective
strong arm. to 30 seconds on each side. she’s ready and you’ll be stroking her urethra, shutdown, we would pursue sex to
which hurts. the exclusion of all other activities.
The solution The solution
Wide-grip Turn her on slowly. “Start by touching her back, Back off for three full minutes.
Romanian arms and thighs,” says Tracey Cox, author Then, if you want to encourage
Dead Lift of The Sex Doctor. “Use both hands to round two, the oxytocin released

Using a wide, over- stroke her thighs until they open wider. by gentle touch will take her back
Dumbbell Vice-grip Pull-over hand grip, lower the And when you do go for the bull’s-eye, to the start of the arousal process.
Hold a pair of light dumbbells over your fore- bar below your knees, stroke her clitoris through her panties. But be a gentle man. Her cervix
head, elbows bent at 90-degrees. Lower the bending them slightly If she isn’t 100 percent physically ready, remains open, and therefore more
dumbbells behind your head, then lift back and keeping your back flat. Thrust your hips for- the fabric provides a barrier to prevent sensitive, for at least half an hour
for eight to 12 reps. ward as you return. Do this once or twice a week. over-stimulation and soreness.” after orgasm.



Five golden rules of her room
that you should always obey

Don’t change your technique. You
may think showing off your reper-

The Good Oil On toire of finger acrobatics will bring

her super-strong orgasms. It won’t. Most

Sensual Massage
women complain their partners had often
left them on the brink by changing technique.

You want sex, but she’s too stressed? That won’t be a problem if you 2
Creating a romantic ambience
Eight minutes of stimulation.
follow our essential (and sensual) tips on how to rub her up the right way
That’s the average it takes for You don’t have to book the honeymoon suite
a woman to orgasm. to get some excitement back in the bedroom.

1 8
Stroking With your fore- elbow, behind the knee and Scratching Sketch Sometimes making small changes in ambience
finger or middle finger, the inner thigh. lines up and down her 3 can have a big effect on the sex. What you want
draw long lines gently body with your finger- Half that time. By getting her is to turn your bedroom into a lover’s den.

along the spine and the con- Polishing Keeping nails, pressing firmly, but to squeeze her thighs, buttocks, Candles, incense and enticing linens make the
tours of her body, as if holding your fingers together, don’t leave more than a slight stomach and pelvic floor muscles difference. Get cotton sateen sheets that have
a pencil. polish the surface red mark on her skin. you can get there in four. This stimulates her a thread count of 400 (double fitted sheet R399
of her skin gently, using circu- body’s natural preparation for orgasm. and pillow cases R150 from Woolworths). Top

2 9
The dots Using the lar motions. The comb Splay the it up with mood enhancing oils that can be used

1)050(3"1)4*450$,1)050$0. 1"$,4)05+".&4("3"()5:
forefinger, middle fin- fingers of one hand 4 for a sensual massage or in the bath. Foreplay

ger, lips or tongue, The rails Draw lightly a centimetre or two Check on comfort. Lying or sitting has never been this pleasurable (R70 each at
move up and down the body. along the skin, follow- apart and stroke her skin comfortably is 50 percent more Whet Emporium).
ing two imaginary par- using downward strokes important for women than men If you are concerned about your furniture you

Jingling Move the allel lines, with your forefinger – especially across the back, in sex. And will significantly lengthen the odds can use the wet games sport-sheet and hang
pads of your fingertips and middle finger. stomach and legs. of a mega-orgasm. it over your furniture if you begin to get too
along her body as playful (R375, at

7 1O
though playing a keyboard The feather Either The spider Let 5 www.matildas.
with a real feather or your fingers “walk” Introduce anything new up front. Take it

Tickling Focus on the the tips of your fingers, across her skin like Whipping out an unexpected sex toy a step further
erogenous zones – the brush the surface of her skin a spider, one after the other. or your best mate mid-session is off and shop for fun sex
soft skin of the inner gently and intermittently. Oh, the anticipation! putting to most women. Talk about it before the furniture at Mat-
evening’s entertainment gets under way. ilda’s online store.



more than a third of the way > Once her nipples are firm,
into her mouth. Instead, use take them between two wet
the tip of your tongue to play fingers and slide them back
with the tip of hers, the and forth, but don’t squeeze.
inside of her lips and the Time required Two minutes
edges of her teeth.

Time required Two minutes HEAD SOUTH
> Rather than going

NOW, KISS straight for the clit-
ALL OF HER oris, spend some time strok-
> Most men simply ing her outer lips with one
work their way down a wom- or two fingers. That will
an’s body – mouth, breasts, provide indirect stimulation
navel and so on. Unfort- to the clitoris, which is all
unately, it’s not arousing she’s ready for right now.
because she knows exactly Use long, slow strokes.
where you’re headed. So > Carefully part her labia
surprise her: and use your thumb and

> Focus on overlooked areas: forefinger to gently stroke
her inner thighs, the backs along the sides of her clitoris
of her knees, behind her ear and inner lips. Don’t actually
lobes and the tops of her touch the clitoris just yet

WE PLAY breasts (not her nipples).

Jump from spot to spot.
> Use small, sucking kisses.
Add pressure with the tip
– you’ll know when she’s
Time required Three minutes

of your tongue. THE LAST HOT TIP . . .
Want to drive her wild in bed? Here are the seven essential tips that’ll do the trick
> After kissing one area, > Check her for
gently blow on it. She’ll get important signs

START WITH palm. Do this until you can > Next, her upper lip, then a chill – that’s a good thing. of arousal: erect nipples.
HER HANDS feel her pulse. throat, ear lobes and eyelids. Time required Four minutes Heavy breathing. A firm
> Hold one of her hands Time required One minute Keep your lips together, eyes clitoris. Fingernail

gently in both of yours and open and tongue in your USE YOUR HANDS scratches bleeding across

kiss the backs of her fingers. TIME FOR mouth. For now. > Be gentle with her your back. If they’re all
Fingers are a woman’s most LIGHT KISSING > As you kiss, gently stroke breasts. If her nip- present, kiss her deeply as
ignored erogenous zones, > Start with her bot- her arms and back with ples aren’t erect, don’t you slowly enter her. Pause

according to our local tom lip. Put it between your your fingernails. clamp down or twist them. for several seconds, then
manicurist. lips and kiss it lightly. She Time required Three minutes Instead, use the flat of your start thrusting like a space
> Turn her hand over and should hardly know you’re palm to rub her entire shuttle in fifth. Foreplay’s

work your way to her wrist. there. (If she falls asleep, GO A BIT HEAVIER breast in a circular motion. now officially over, so you
Keep your mouth closed. she doesn’t know you’re > A common com- Start lightly and increase can go forth and ravage
Press your lips gently into there at all. Kiss a bit plaint – too much the pressure as she becomes your woman with the grace
that tender area above her harder, Fonzy.) tongue. Never extend yours more excited. of an animal.

10 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 11

| Hot Numbers


You want sex and she wants An ideal position if you want to caress her
to watch Oprah? from her thighs to her breasts.
> How to do it With her back to > How to do it Lie down on your back and ask
you, she places one leg on your partner to take a seat, with her back to

a chair and you enter you. She can then either sit upright
her from behind, hold- (moving up and down your penis)
ing onto her hips for or lean forwards or

EVERY MAN SHOULD MASTER balance. And since

this is a quickie, you
backwards slightly,
allowing you free
don’t even need to rein with her
TWO-IN-ONE HUNGARIAN LEG SCISSORS strip off – just hitch breasts and
If you’re still in the dark as to where her Looking for a completely new method up her skirt! clitoris.
elusive G-spot is, this position guarantees of entry? Try this technique.
you’ll find it, intrepid adventurer. > How to do it Lie down on your back with your MR UNIVERSE THE X-FILE
> How to do it The lucky lady lies on her back legs spread. She sits and slides down onto This position will push An ideal position for polishing your tech-
with her legs widely spread and feet your erection, then moves onto her side your strength and your nique and improving your sexual stamina.
resting on your shoulders or chest. slightly while you stamina to the limit – and > How to do it Sit down and stretch out your
You kneel between her legs and gently move she’ll love you for it, you legs, then get your partner to sit down on
enter her. Because of the your bodies he-man you. top of you and lean backwards so your
angle of her hips in relation together. > How to do it Get onto your bodies form the letter “X”. You won’t be able
to your penis you’ll inev- The penetra- knees and ask her to lower her- to thrust deeply,
itably hit her G-spot tion feels unusual self onto your erection while facing so gently rock
(located in the front at the tip you. As she does, she wraps her legs back and forth.
wall of her vagina). of the penis. around your waist and puts her You’ll be able to
arms around your neck. Then slowly hold out longer
TV DINNER BATWOMAN stand and bounce your part- and she’ll
The passionate alternative to television, you If you’re an amateur acrobat and fancy ner up and down. come first.
lounge around in comfort, watch something some sophisticated oral sex,
smutty and occasionally press a few buttons. try this advanced technique. RIDE ’EM RODEO THE BABY-MAKER
> How to do it Sit leaning against a wall or the > How to do it This is a standing Why do all the work during sex when she can The perfect position for couples who are
headboard, with a pillow under your back. version of the classic 69 posi- do it for you? trying to conceive and/or enjoy particularly
Get your partner to slide onto your erection, tion. She’ll need to do a > How to do it Lie flat on your back and she deep penetration.
with her face towards you. Then hold her handstand and spread straddles you. She hops and bobs, while you > How to do it She lies on her stomach with
by the hips or grab her bum and move her her legs. You then get play with her breasts and enjoy a pillow placed under her pelvis. Her hips
backwards and forwards. A great position on your knees, grab her the visual feast. Yee-haa! will tilt forward and her bum will
for combining your around the waist and It’s easier for her to climax come up against you. Now enter
two favourite lift her up so that she can as she can control both her from behind. In this posi-
*--6453"5*0/4 53"*/*"$$0;"

activities: having support her hands on your the direction and speed. tion, your semen will
sex and doing thighs. You stick out your Her clitoris is also stimu- land right in the area
nothing. Oh, and tongue and she goes to work lated by your of her cervix, which
she’ll like the on the body part nearest to pubic bone as is ideal for
eye contact. her mouth. you thrust. conception.

12 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 13


M`YiXkfij >iflgJ\o
YES 47% NO 19% YES 14% NO 50%
of women use say they’d never have actually say that the idea
them alone or want to try them tried it turns them
with their off completely

...and another 34 percent ...and 36 percent admit

say they’d like to try them they’ve thought about it.

“Diamonds aren’t “My partner and

a girl’s best friend, she
I joke about it, but
says says
vibrators are. I think the conse-
Every woman should have quences of trying it aren’t
at least one.” worth the risk.”
“My boyfriend enjoys “There’s a lot of baggage

watching me use it and with group sex. I don’t think
because we have a long- I could handle the jealousy
distance relationship, he likes and stress.”
to hear about all the times I’ve “My boyfriend and I have
used it when he calls.” a good sex life. Introducing
“Using a vibrator is the only a third person would be like
way I can orgasm. My hus- infidelity in our faces.”

band isn’t inadequate, I just “I’d be too self-conscious
can’t orgasm any for full-on sex, but get
other way.” turned on by the idea
of group kissing

or stroking.”

Many women have
learnt to climax with a vibra- THE EXPERTS SAY
tor – they can produce much Group sex shouldn’t be
In an anonymous poll, more intense stimulation than entered into lightly. Make
we asked 1 000 women her own hand or your body. sure you discuss what you’re
for their opinions of our But don’t make the mistake comfortable with and how
secret sexual fantasies – of assuming she’s the only one far you want to take it.
you know, the ones who can enjoy electric sex. Ensure you can handle the
Vibrators can make sex aftermath. Many people who
that all blokes are too
more uninhibited and fun. thought they could deal with

nervous to mention to They can be used during the emotional baggage are
their wives or girlfriends. intercourse while you pene- upset by jealousy or feelings
Here’s what they said... trate her or you can put it of inadequacy, asking them-
against your tongue during selves: “Aren’t I enough
oral sex. for her?”

16 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 17


GlY`ZJ_Xm`e^ 8eXcGcXp “I’m afraid that it would hurt too

much. That orifice is probably best
YES 40% NO 15% YES 14% NO 50% suited for only one purpose.”
of women shave would rather stay have actually say that the idea

it all or leave a as Mother Nature tried it turns them
few strategically intended off completely
placed tufts THE EXPERTS SAY
The anus is full of nerve endings that
...and the rest have tried it, ...while another 36 percent have toyed with
provide extreme pleasure when stimulated
but were less than pleased the idea.
correctly. “Anal sex shouldn’t hurt if it’s done
with the results.
“I didn’t try it until I hit 34 and right. The most common problem is that cou-
“Oral sex feels she
then it was with a partner I chose ples try to start off with it. That’s not how it
she amazing when purely for sex. I would do it again, will ever work. You need to go slowly, with
I’m shaven!” but I would be worried about what a partner maybe just a fingertip and a lot of lube. Try
“It’s much more attractive would think if I asked for it. It was good, but that a few times before inserting anything big-
and sensitive.” only because I was really turned on. I think ger,” advises Joannides. But never mix anal
“I’ve tried all stages and vaginal sex is better.” and vaginal sex without washing well.
like clean shaven – I can feel
sensations so much
better down there.”


“Some guys get really
turned on by this because it’s
easier to lick and can give a
great visual charge,” accord-
ing to Paul Joannides, author
of The Guide to Getting It On.

alone in the office.”

J\o@eGlYc`Z “It’s so stimulating! It’s such
a turn-on knowing we
YES 85% NO 5% could be caught!”
of women always keep

are doing it indoors
it in public


...and another 10 percent When couples complain
have thought about it. that their sex life is becoming too
predictable, therapists suggest
“I’ve done it out in changing where they make love.
the country, on the For example, try it in your car on
beach and even a dark street.



?fd\Dfm`\j C`^_k9fe[X^\
YES 25% NO 15% YES 70% NO 20%
of women in our would rather watch of women enjoy a responded
poll enjoy their own a movie than little light bondage with an emphatic
skin flicks star in it – or would like “absolutely
to try it not!”

...and 60 percent have con- ...and 10 percent were

sidered getting the camera too tied up to answer.
out with their partners.
“Being bound
“I would love to she
really appeals to
do it, but have a my naughty side.”
fear of it getting “Handcuffs are great – I
into the wrong hands.” love the feeling of no control.”
“It slightly intrigues me, “I’d experiment with ropes
but I don’t think I want to and blindfolds, but only with
see the proof over and over. a long-term partner.”
But we have had lots of sex “I’ve done it all – handcuffs,
in front of mirrors.”
“I’d allow my boyfriend <ifk`Z<ek\ikX`ed\ek whips, hot wax. The
idea of it turns me on!”
as long as he promised never

to show it to anyone else.” YES 60% NO 15%
of women have of women would
“Video is definitely watched an adult rather curl up with THE EXPERTS SAY
on the ‘must-do’ list.” movie with their you to watch Light bondage is very
partner CSI on TV
popular because people enjoy

giving up power to someone
THE EXPERTS SAY ...and another 25 percent say they’d like to pop on a sexy they trust. (It’s best to use

Some couples find that DVD now and then. quality props.)
filming their love-making “It’s arousing. THE EXPERTS SAY As with any sadomasochis-
sessions and watching them And it’s where I Forget the idea that tic (S&M) behaviour, always
together helps them to be she learnt some of my men are the only visually agree on a “safe” word in
more open with each other, best techniques!” stimulated creatures. advance – one that both of
getting rid of inhibitions. “We have lots of porn flicks Women also respond physio- you can use if things get too
But many women are wary and they get us both excited. logically to sexual images. intense for one partner.
of it – not because they don’t Sometimes it takes more But be clear about what
want to participate, but than just each other to turn kind of sexual acts you and SO IT’S OKAY TO GO FOR willing to do and put them in a ask,” say our respondents.

because they’ve heard horror us on.” your partner want to see IT... BUT HOW DO I BRING hat. Take turns selecting your Most women just want their
stories about the film getting “I love watching dirty (and don’t want to see) in UP THE SUBJECT? method of entertainment for men to be up-front with them
into the wrong hands. movies, but we never get to advance so there are no A more creative approach the evening. and respect their choice.
Thanks to digital cameras, the end. We usually nasty surprises. “Make it a game,” advises Popping the question The “I’ll listen to anything he
this can be avoided. You can end up groping Joannides. Both of you write best way for you to suggest an says with an open mind, but
erase digital pictures after after 10 minutes!” down, on separate bits of idea to spice up your sex life is he has to agree not to be angry
you’ve viewed the action. paper, five things you’d be simple. “All you have to do is if I don’t want to do it.”

20 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 21


he first thing they taught you in school, besides that bit about
glue not being food, was the alphabet. Why? Because once you
had that down pat, the rest of the English language was at your
fingertips. It’s the same with sex: once you know the basics,
you can string small tricks together to guarantee your partner
a triple-letter-scoring orgasm. Here are 26 good reasons
(strangely, in alphabetical order) to learn the ABCs of S-E-X.

8i\fcX <oZlj\j the juice of one lime, a

Women’s nipples and She’s got a headache? In clove of garlic (minced).
areolas, the dark circles your worst Barry White Season with salt and pep-
around them, are two to voice, say, “I’ve got just per. Apply liberally.

three times less sensitive the thing, baby” and
than her index finger, so gently stimulate her ?Xggp_fli
use a firmer touch here G-spot. The pressure will Keen on baby-making?
when dialling. make her feel pain far “Your best chance of con-
less intensely. Massage ceiving is in the late after-

9XZbj`[\ it manually or go the noon or early evening,”
German researchers say woman-on-top and rear- advises researcher Dr
31 percent of women like entry positions, dawg. Angelo Cagnacci.
ogling our bums, so tone
your butt. Lunges, dead =\Xi @epfli_Xe[j
lifts and lying leg curls Women hear enough hor- There’s no “i” in sex, but
will give you choice cheeks ror stories about the nice- there is in masturbation. If
for lovin’. guy-as-sexual-predator to sperm isn’t ejaculated after
be wary of loners. If you about 70 days, it begins to
:`^Xi\kk\j see a woman at a party age and build up. So it’s only
What’s the secret to a perfect performance in bed? It’s as simple as A, B, C About 30 percent of smok- who you’d like to meet, healthy to occasionally get
ers experience impotence. find a mutual acquaint- a grip and release it.
But quit now and you’ll ance to introduce you,
lower your flop risk to preferably a female one. A`bXnXp
where it was in your pre- Many people derive more
puffing days. >lXZXdfc\ satisfaction from a clean
The avocado is high in house than from sex,
;iM`Y\ vitamin E, magnesium, according to Home and

The Sabar vibrator is all potassium and zinc, Garden Television in the
about exploration in all which boosts libido and US. That’s bad news for
the right places and the increases sexual stamina. slobs. Invest in a house-
size is perfect for just Peel and mash two cleaning service and
about everyone. R600 at of them and stir in a put her feather duster chopped onion, a tomato, to better use.

22 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 23


B`e[e\jj%%% E\\[p6 day. We know a guy who Jligi`j\

Is what you could exper- Try not to be. Women rank did this 100 days straight Women hate same-old sex.
ience if she takes agnus self-confidence as one of and recorded a 66 percent Scientists say the sensors
castus. German researchers the sexiest qualities in strike rate. in the brain react more
studied 170 women taking a man. “Stand tall and strongly to pleasure when
the herb and found more make direct eye contact,” Hl`Zb`\ it’s unexpected. Next time
than half had at least a according to Dr William Sometimes women just you’re in bed, blindfold
50 percent reduction in Fitzgerald, a sex therapist. want a quickie. But how her with a scarf and then
PMS symptoms, including “And above all else, smile. do you know when we’re randomly touch and taste
irritability, a lack of energy It goes a long way.” up for it? If you’re firmer her.
and tender breasts. and more impulsive and
Fc[Jg`Z\ she responds, go with it. KXcb`klg
C$Xi^`e`e\ Be a devil and spritz Preferably before the light Sex talk elevates the
It’s time to go nuts... some cologne on her pillow. turns green or the waiter excitement level in women
L-arginine, an amino Women who smell men’s returns with the soup. because it triggers fantasies
acid found in peanuts, cologne while fantasising and the feeling of being
increases blood flow in become more aroused. IfY`ejfe#Dij desired, making women
the body and acts as a The top scents include Tired of striking out with horny and helping to reach
signal for sexual arousal. DKNY Be Delicious, your sister’s friends? Try orgasm, says sex therapist
It’s the only nutrient Ralph Lauren Polo Blue picking up at Mum’s tennis Dr Gabrielle Morrissey.
proven to increase sexual and Incanto Pour Homme club instead. Older women
satisfaction in women. by Salvatore Ferragamo. are closer to their sexual L$jgfk
The U-spot’s at the opening
DXk\ J\okXcb\c\mXk\jk_\\oZ`k\d\ekc\m\c`e_\i to the urethra, just above
In search of true love? Y\ZXlj\`kki`^^\ij]XekXj`\jXe[k_\]\\c`e^ the vagina where there are
Have a female friend at f]Y\`e^[\j`i\[#dXb`e^_\i_fiep rich nerve endings. Gently
your side and tell a few stimulate it with your
jokes. US research shows G\iZ\ekX^\j peaks and chances are fingers and tongue.
that a man is 50 to 100 In the sex game, anyone they’ll think you’re much
percent more desirable to can strike it rich with better looking too – even MX^`eXc8$jgfk stimulate the clitoris and Pfli_\Xik
women when other ladies the right strategy. Talk as you age, surveys show. Located on the front wall your fingers to enter her Men can cut their risk
say they like him. to one new woman every of the vagina, a third of vagina. of cardiovascular disease
the way down from the in half by having sex
cervix. Find it with deep OFOFOF three to four times a week.
penetration, doggie-style. Readers of Cosmopolitan

and She in the US say a

N\\bcp bad kiss had put them off Roughly half of men who how often 48 percent going any further with snore also have problems
of women are tinkering a man. And a good kiss with erections. Snoring
with their own toys. Want was enough to seal the can usually be cured with
to get in on the action? Use deal. Remember: practise outpatients laser surgeries
the heel of your palm to makes perfect. that take about 7 minutes.

24 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 25


the Night
Turn into her Prince of Passion with our ultimate “lay”man’s guide
to hosting a romantic evening

ou’ve done crunches until your abs act as the supporting girders of a relation-
are black and blue. And, nobly, ship and prevent it toppling.
you’ve researched all her secret “The firmer the structure of love,” adds
erogenous zones and even commit- Hooper, “the better you’ll feel about each
ted yourself to spending more other and the greater the incentive to stay
than 30 seconds on foreplay. together.”
But as most women will admit, you can Best of all, romance is also what keeps
be a sexual Minotaur in bed – chances are you working at sex if it doesn’t go well at

it’ll leave her feeling emotionally empty, first. The idea in being romantic is to make
and only half-satisfied, if there’s no rom- a woman believe that, at a specific point
ance or effort involved from you. in time, only she matters. To help you with
Sex-expert Anne Hooper, author of this, we’ve put together a fail-safe guide
several sex guides, says romantic feelings for the ultimate romantic evening.

26 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 27


Before She Arrives: exhilarating, jazz funk- trimmer, from Clicks R99. Camouflage any
> Set the scene Nerves can ambient experimentation Use a roll-on A spray weight gain Avoid bold,
make you overlook a house you’ll ever hear. deodorant tends to be more patterned clothes and look
in utter disarray. Inspect A recent poll taken among heavily scented and you don’t for subtle designs and tex-
the whole place (especially the women on Marie Claire, want it battling with your tures; wear flat-front pants;
the bathroom) for dirt, soiled rated the Café Del Mar series cologne. Next, apply light fra- don pinstripes and avoid hor-
clothing and Polaroids of and bands Air and Goldfrapp grance sprays to pulse points izontal stripes; coordinate
ex-girlfriends. Small touches as clothes-strippers. Get these – neck, wrists and the insides tops and bottoms that are
like new soap and fresh tow- from of elbows (the heat there similar in colour (like a dark
els will go a long way. makes it stronger). shirt and dark pants); and
> Buff the bed Buy 100 per- Get Ready! Disguise a bald spot dump the crew-neck shirts
cent cotton sheets. You’ll pay Shave Got a Grizzly After showering, blow-dry and jumpers in favour of
more, but they’ll feel better Adams beard and you’ve your hair in the opposite more slimming V-necks.
than blended fabric. Select run out of damned shaving direction from the way you Don’t be tight She’d rather
neutral colours: white, beige cream? Use a few drops of typically part it. This adds see you in a grass skirt than
or cream. Look for a thread olive oil. In a panicked pinch, lift to the hairs underneath. family-jewel-crushing jeans.
count of at least 200. even hair conditioner will do. When dry, comb it back over If you can’t easily slide your
> Ignite the lighting Trim Take care of any its original shape. This’ll wallet out of your back pocket,
Candlelight’s a no-brainer. errant hairs in your ears, help your do look a little your jeans are far too “form
For the bedroom, go dim for nose and eyebrows. We rec- fuller. And stay away from fitting”, so rather opt for
a warm glow. Buy some 15- ommend the Babyliss hair helicopters. trousers.
to 25-watt bulbs.
If she’s self-conscious Destination: Sea, Sand, Stars and Seduction...
about her body, fit a desk Want to really impress her? A marriage proposal perhaps? Whisk her away to one of these romantic locales
lamp with a low-wattage Western Cape Hawksmoor magazine’s Best Spa in the 2007 a chapel on the grounds if it goes
“soft-light” bulb, then tilt the House Classy old Cape Dutch Best Places competition, it’s really well.
shade away from your part- homestead close to Stell- old school, has great treatments Kwa Madwala Private Game
Let’s Get It On, Marvin enbosch. Big suites, perfect for and is perfectly situated in the Reserve With its funky, private
If she’s self-conscious, fit a desk lamp Gaye Gaye recorded this
romance round the fireplace. Magaliesberg for walks (and chalets set among the boulders hikes) in the mountains. of a huge koppie, there are few
with a low-wattage “soft-light” bulb, album with the express pur- KZN Sani Valley Lodge cooler places to get up close and
pose of helping his listeners
then tilt the shade away from her, to, well, get it on. This stuff’s
Expansive wooden lodge mostly
on stilts overlooking a lake. It’s
personal – with her and the other
wild ones. Lekker rock pool, ani-
so that the light reflects off the wall aural Viagra. in the quieter southern Berg,
so the hordes won’t bug you.
mals galore and Kruger is round
the corner. Microlight safaris
Avalon, Roxy Music and elephant rides optional .
ner so the light reflects off a makes our heart rate slow, Brian Ferry’s suave and eleg-
Sycamore Avenue Tree House
nearby wall. This is known muscles relax and loosen our ant 1982 album is beautifully Lodge Northern Berg. If she has Northern Cape Tswalu Kalahari
as “bouncing” and will com- posture, causing our skin produced and will lighten a really great sense of humour A room at Kwa Madwala Reserve There’s something

plement her curves while to conduct more heat. Music even the tensest atmosphere. and loves the quirkier side of life, Mpumalanga Jatinga Country incredibly satisfying about being
hiding her flaws. also helps us let go of the dis- The Complete “In the bingo. Fantasy treehouses beau- Lodge A restored farmhouse pampered in the middle of the
> Music, your weapon of tracting thoughts of the day. Silent Way” Sessions, tifully crafted by a master car-
penter. Choose the Fantasy
with a huge stoep, endless gar-
dens and the best menu this side
desert. The sand is ochre red,
there’s a demon spa, you eat
mass seduction Music can Play music continuously Miles Davis This contains
House. of France. The suites have inside outdoors under the stars and
have subliminal effects. in the background. Some some of the most lushly Gauteng Mount Grace Spa and outside showers and plenty she’ll love you forever.
Slow “heartbeat” music sexy suggestions: textured, emotionally and Hotel Winner of Getaway of room to, er, move. There’s even

28 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 29

Bottoms Up! DESSERT Poached Moving Movies What the judges said
Champagne goes well with Pears in Red Wine We asked sex therapist Dr “The exciting sword fight and
seafood dishes or fresh fruit. Ingredients Linda De Villers and our hot sexual tension between
Champagne and sparkling 75g caster sugar panel of expert female judges the leads ensured that I
250ml (1 cup) red wine
wines should be served very to pick four seemingly inno- didn’t think about anything
2 pears, peeled
cold (4°C to 8°C), so put the 1 cinnamon stick cent movies that’ll have her else but sex.”
bottle in the fridge at least 100g clotted or double cream undoing your belt before the > Henry & June An artsy film
two hours before serving. Method credits roll. set in Paris in the Thirties.
1. In a pan, mix the sugar into
the wine and gently heat until
> Bull Durham Baseball, What the judges said
The Food of Love sex and Susan Sarandon. “This movie is just all-out
it’s dissolved.
A romantic meal should be What the judges said hot. Since it’s solely about The Morning After
2. Place the pears in this liquid,
simple and sensual. It will adding enough water to cover “Seeing care-free sex on the sexual desire, it really gets Congratulations, you rogue.
ideally stimulate the senses MAIN Salmon in a them, and throw in the cinnamon kitchen table, in the living you worked up by the end.” But you must follow
with its colours and textures Sesame Crust sticks. Gently simmer until the room, on the bedroom floor > The Thomas Crown Affair through; this is no time for
and taste superb. Ingredients pears are soft and a knife goes and in the bathtub – all A remake of the classic complacency!
Award-winning chef Jill 1 cup (200 grams) white rice through them easily (they will within a 10-minute span Steve McQueen heist film. Serve her breakfast in bed.
1 tbsp sesame seeds continue to cook while cooling,
Dupleix recommends keep- – definitely put me in the What the judges said After all, she was very good
½ tsp coriander seeds so ensure they’re not overdone).
ing your meal fresh and 3. Core pears and let them sit in mood to remove my clothes.” “The sex scenes show Pierce to you last night.
½ tsp black peppercorns
light, but rich in protein and 2 x 220g skinless salmon fillets the wine until completely cooled. > The Mask of Zorro Sharp Brosnan and Rene Russo 1. Comfort is paramount.
low in starch – pasta, wheat ½ tbsp vegetable oil 4. Pour some of the liquid into weapons, dashing heroes laughing and playing Use a serving tray and set it
and bread fill you up and ½ tbsp sesame oil another pan and heat until it and Catherine Zeta-Jones together, which makes them on a bedside table.
then put you to sleep. ½ clove garlic, crushed has been reduced to a syrupy (before Michael Douglas more romantic and realistic 2. Flowers in a vase might
½ tsp grated fresh ginger consistency.
In the recipe, right, B- brainwashed her into than most movie love spill. So lay them flat on the
½ small red chilli, seeded and 5. To serve, put a dollop of cream
group vitamins from salmon in a bowl and place a pear on top, marriage). scenes. A big turn-on.” tray, next to her plate.
sliced thinly lengthways
and dark-green leafy veget- 250g baby bok choy, quartered then drizzle with syrup. 3. Try to find matching
ables will build on the heady 30 millilitres soy sauce SERVES TWO The Seduction Tip Sheet plates, cutlery and cups.
effect of the Champagne. ½ tbsp mirin Note: this dessert is best We know you don’t need us to hold your hand for the rest of the 4. Fold the newspaper and
1 tbsp honey served warm. The pears may evening, but here are some handy tricks to have up your sleeve:
place it next to the tray.
1 tbsp lime juice be poached well in advance and
Aphrodisiacs The belief that then reheated closer to serving
> Drinks in hand, begin the mini > Invite her into the kitchen to 5. Forget the bacon and eggs
certain foods were aphrodisiacs time. tour of your place after she watch you cook, showing that – that’s ordinary and you’ll
1. Boil rice in an uncovered
goes back to Ancient Greece,
saucepan until tender, then drain. arrives. Show her the bath- you are a man of many talents. never keep it all warm. Halve
but no food has ever been room and bedroom, but don’t > Finished eating dinner? Just a grapefruit and segment it
2. Place seeds and peppercorns
proven to boost your sex drive. make a big deal out of it. push the plates to one side. with a knife so the individual
in a bag and crush them, then
Want to use food sexily? A
centrepiece of luscious, ripe
coat one side of each fillet with > Back to the living room with Tidying up is neurotic and it’s sections can easily be rem-
the mixture. the drinks. Ask her to put on much more seductive to leave oved with a fork. Sprinkle
fruit could add a sensual touch
3. Heat a spray of oil in a pan.
to your table. a CD, which allows her to nose it until the morning. with brown sugar. Grill for
Sear fish, seeded-side down, for
Think of combinations such through your music. > If things have progressed a few minutes to crystallise

one minute. Repeat on the other

as mangos and avocados; red
side until the flesh turns opaque. > As you move into the kitchen to the bedroom stage, have a the topping and serve.
apples and pears; or lemons to check dinner, she can have quick freshen up: rinse mouth, 6. Coffee or tea? Her prefer-
4. Heat sesame oil in a wok and
and limes. A bowl of ripe, aro-
stir-fry garlic, ginger and chilli a snoop around, studying pho- splash face, don’t add cologne. ence. Choose an exotic fla-
matic peaches or a mound of
until fragrant. Add the remaining tos, flipping through books Take off your shoes and socks vour and fill the cup only
luscious strawberries is seduc-
ingredients and stir-fry until bok
tive. If you’re game, offer to and building up a small profile – it’ll make things smoother halfway to reduce the risk
choy wilts.
feed her yourself . . .
SERVES TWO of you. in the bedroom. of spills.

30 MH SEX GUIDE 2008 2008 MH SEX GUIDE 31


The twelve 4 “I’m a “trisexual”.

9 “The best sex I have

I’ll try anything once.” ever had was with my
~ Samantha Jones played by vibrator.”
Kim Cattrall in Sex in the City ~ Eva Longoria, American

things ever film and television actress

said by women 5 The body is meant to be

seen, not all covered up.”
~ Marilyn Monroe, American 10 “I’m very old-fash-
ioned. Occasionally I

1 “Sex is emotion in motion.”

~ Mae West, was an
American actress, playwright,
actress, singer, model and
Hollywood icon
do wear underwear.”
~ Sharon Stone,American film
and sex symbol.
6 “I thought it was my job
to give all the boys their
11 “I don’t think I have to

2 “I think of myself as a
highly sexual creature.”
~ Charlize Theron, South
first kiss.”
~ Jessica Alba, American
television and film actress
introduce myself,
unless you don’t recognise
me with my clothes.”
African actress and former ~ Madonna, International singer
fashion model
7 “Don’t! Ever! Stop!
F*ucking Me!”
12 “It says Pamela.” And

3 “I don’t use my body to

seduce, no. I just stand
~ Kelly Preston in Jerry Maguire when he gets excited,
it says “I love Pamela very,
~ Ursula Andress, major sex
symbol of the Sixties and
8 “You wanna know what
my tongue feels like?”
~ Janet Jackson, American
very much and enjoy her
company to the 10th degree.”
~ Pamela Anderson, on the
former Bond girl actress and singer tattoo on Tommy Lee’s penis.


32 MH SEX GUIDE 2008