LOVE FROM A SUICIDE

(How love was born from a suicide attempt. Love in the darkest moments -- not 1 but 2 moments.)

Written & Published by fakekrisaquino.com (This was first published online for the ‘from Internet with Love’ column of fakekrisaquino.com.)

Hector is driving a six-wheeler truck, slowly climbing on his way to the mountain. He usually slows down when he gets to this area, not because it's dangerous, but he wants to enjoy the scenery when he is on his way to the top of the mountain. It was almost 6pm kaya napakagandang tingnan ng nag-aagaw na araw at gabi. Feel na feel nya ang amoy ng hangin na malamig -- ibang iba when he's in the town proper where he delivers his produce. Enjoy lang ng enjoy si Hector sa pagdrive, watching the scenery below, ng may biglang bumannga sa kanya coming from a small road on his left. Malakas talaga ang pagkabannga pero mabuti na lang at 6-wheeler ang dala niya, at hindi ito bumigay or else mahuhulog talaga sila sa bangin. So he stopped his truck, waiting for the surrounding to calm down before he would check ano nangyari. But bigla uli may bumangga sa kanya, and when he looked out at his rear view mirror, he realized pareho lang ang kotse bumannga sa kanya. Umatras ito, at binangga uli sya. Medyo nagalit na si Hector. So before he gets down of his truck, dinala nya ang baseball bat to arm his self. Galit syang bumaba at pinuntahan ang driver side ng kotseng bumangga sa kanya. Isang red camry ang bumangga sa kanya. When he reached the driver side, he has to knock on the car window kasi tinted ito, at hindi nya makita kung sino ang driver. Medyo kinabahan sya but si Hector ay isang taong walang kinawilihan sa buhay kaya wala syang pakialam ano mangyari sa kanya. When bumaba na ang window, he was surprised na babae pala driver nito. He could see na umiiyak ang babae.

"Miss, ano ka ba? Binabangga mo ako ng sadya. Magpapakamatay ka ba?" Galit na pagtanong ni Hector sa driver. "OO. At walang hiya ka, you just ruined my plan, and now my life!" The girl angrily shot back at him. Medyo kumulo lalo ang dugo ni Hector kasi sya pa ngayon ang may kasalanan. At ang angas pa ng babae, sya pa nga itong nakaabala sa kanya. The girl get out of the car, pull his arm with the baseball bat. "Please patayin mo na ako. Hindi ko na kaya." "Miss, hindi ako mamatay tao. Kung may problema ka, huwag kang mang damay ng iba." Ayaw na patulan ni Hector ang babae kaya tumalikod na ito para iwanan ang parang naboboang na babae. The girl shouted at her, "Dahil sa pagbabag mo sa plano ko, kung ano mangyari sa akin, kasalanan mo ito. Kaya if you don't want my life to get worse, patayin mo na ako ngayon na." She was screaming profanities at him. "Walang hiya talaga kayong mga lalake. Puro kayo manggagamit." Hector got irked. So he walked back to her. "Miss, hindi ako mamatay tao. Mas lalong hindi ako manggagamit." To scare her, Hector hissed at her face, "RAPIST lang ako." It did knock some sense on the gone-crazy girl. Natahimik ito. Hector then leave her. Parang natakot ang babae, at ito'y pumasok sa sasakyan nya. It was getting dark then. When Hector was back on his car, narinig nya bumubusina ang sasakyan ng babae. He sensed na parang the girl is asking for some help. Kaya huminto lang muna sya. After a few minutes, he saw the girl sa labas ng sasakyan nya waving at him. When hector looked at her, she has this apologetic look. "I'm really sorry kanina. Nawala lang ako sa sarili ako. Pwede mo ako matulungan. Ayaw na kasi umandar ng sasakyan ko." Tiningnan lang sya ni Hector. Pagod na si Hector kaya ayaw na sana nyang pansinin ang babae. "I'm Ana pala. Ana Co." The girl introduced herself to Hector to break the silence. Parang mas lalong ayaw ni Hector tulungan ang babae. Medyo hate nya mga insik. His last girlfriend of 6 years was from a Chinese family. And, hindi sila nagkatuluyan dahil wala syang dugong insik. His girlfriend's family did not accept him, and instead her girl was put into an arranged marriage. Ana sensed Hector's hesitation to help her but wala syang choice. Medyo natakot na din sya sa place kasi nasa tuktok na ata ito ng bundok, at parang wala ng ibang tao dumadaan. Kaya she begged again na tulungan sya, and offer him some cash in exchange for his help.

"Miss Ana Co, wala akong magagawa sa sasakyan mo ngayon. Kung gusto mo, sumama ka na lang sa akin at bukas na natin gawin iyan." Hector offered to her. "Paano ang sasakyan ko?" Tanong ni Ana. "Just locked it up. Walang gagalaw dyan. Peaceful po ito na lugar." Hector assured her. Ayaw sana ni Ana sumama kay Hector kasi medyo natakot sya nito. But she realized wala naman mawawala sa kanya. Kung ano man ang mangyari, wala na syang pakialam. Anyway, she's better off dead. She locked up her car, then sumama na sya kay Hector. They were both silent on the way home. Ana then slowly see na ang ganda pala ng scenery na dinaanan nila. She cannot help herself to comment. "Wow, ang ganda dito. Anong lugar pala ito?" "Bukid ng Cayagan." Hector answered her without much enthusiasm. A little later, Hector also slowly sees that Ana is a charming girl. Tinanong na rin nya, "Do you really plan to kill yourself." Ana without a care answered him, "Yes. I'm hurt. Naloko ako." "Ng boyfriend mo?" Hector probed. "Yes. But I guess I'm hurt more, dahil niloko ako ng bestfriend ko. Hindi ko alam na may relasyon pala ang boyfriend and bestfriend ko all these years." Ana can no longer hold her tears back kaya she let it flow. To her mind, anyway, hindi naman ako kilala ng taong ito. "I dunno. I'm tired. Ayoko ng isipin. I accepted it na. I want them both happy. But I'm really hurt. I'm trying to put a happy face, but napagod na rin ako. Gusto ko ng mawala dito sa mundo." Ana was talking in between tears. Hector kind of empathize with her because he also once was from a heartbreak, but hindi nya alam how to calm her down. Kaya di na lang sya umimik until they arrive at his place. --------------------------Hector used to be in a construction business but he left it, and sold it when his relationship with his girlfriend was over. He came back to his birthplace, sa bulubundukin ng Cayagan. Binuhay nya uli ang farm ng family nya. Then, later on, he was also able to help the other neighboring farmers para sumigla uli ang kalakalan sa lugar nila. Since may experience sya infrastructure and business, madali nyang tulungan ang lugar nila para maging aktibo sa pagbubukid at pag negosyo. Kaya Hector became one of the respected men sa lugar nya. He built a humble house at a top of a hill on his farm in the valley. He lives alone. Kaya

napakatahimik ng bahay nya, at medyo walang ayos. ----------------------------Open lang ang bahay ni Hector kaya malamig kasi expose ito sa hangin. "Sorry, medyo messy ang bahay ko. Please help yourself. May pagkain sa ref if gusto mo kumain.Then, doon ang guest room. May TV, and may book shelves doon if you want to entertain yourself." Sabi ni Hector. "Sa kwarto muna ako, matutulog na ako. I have a long day. Bukas na tayo mag-usap." Then, Hector left her at the living room. Ang tahimik ng bahay ni Hector. Puro lang crickets ang maririnig nya. Looking at the empty field of darkness sa labas, Ana can help the depression slowly creeping in again. She hurriedly open her bag to look for her anti-depression pills but hindi pala nadala nya. Pumunta na lang sya sa guest room, hoping to get some sleep to stop the depression from controlling her. But hindi sya nakatulog. Naligo na sya para mabasbasan ang mga suicidal thoughts nya pero wala pa rin nangyari. Gusto sana nyang lumabas para doon sa labas nya mailalabas ang sama ng damdamin nya. She wanted to shout at the moon, at any thing to please stop the depression from picking on her. Pero nahihiya sya that she might wake up other people in the vicinity. Kaya she went back to the guest room, turn off all the lights, and tried to take comfort in the dakrness. But after a while, bumalik naman ang magaganda at masasakit na alaala ng boyfriend at bestfriend nya. Ana and her boyfriend, Carlo, were set to be married next year. They were in a relationship for 8 years. But Ana found out na Carlo was using her pala. May malaking utang ang family ni Carlo sa family ni Ana, to get their family from being bankrupted, Carlo agreed to his father na gawing girlfriend si Ana. Carlo was Ana's childhood crush kaya hindi nahirapan si Carlo sa panligaw kay Ana. Kaya pala matagal nakapag propose si Carlo sa kanya kasi Carlo was never inlove with Ana. He was inlove with Lucy, Ana's bestfriend. Tinatago lang pala nilang dalawa ang kanilang pagiibigan. Kaya pala in 8 years na relationship nila, Ana does not see much Carlo except on special occasions. Lagi itong nasa ibang bansa or nasa ibang lugar, but actually, nagtatago lang pala sila dalawa ni Lucy. Ana cannot help but really feel down sa nangyari because she adored much the 2 of them. --------------------------------It was around 230am, when hindi na kaya ni Ana ang loneliness. She decided na kumuha ng kutsilyo at maglaslas. Kaya pumunta sya sa kusina. Hinahalughog nya ang mga cabinet para makakita ng kutsilyo.

When she finally found a knife, the lights in the kitchen were turned on. Nakita nya si Hector. Hector usually get up around that time para kumain. It's a routine of him. Medyo sleepy pa sya pero nagising sya bigla ng makita nyang may bitbit na kutsilyo si Ana. And, medyo na shock din si Ana ng makita ang naka brief lang na Hector. He forgot na may iba pala syang kasama sa bahay kaya naka brief lang sya. "Holy shit, ano ka bang babae ka? Ano ba gagawin mo dyan? Kung gusto mo magpakamatay, please hintayin mo na ang bukas at ng malayo ka na sa akin. Baka mabilanggo pa ako sa gagawin mo." Hector plead. He went near Ana, and remove the knife from his hand. When Hector got near him, he could see the very deep loneliness of Ana. He knew that because he was once like that. Naawa sya kay Ana. He hugged her, hoping to ease her pain. When he hugged Ana, Ana cling to him like she clings for her dear life. "Hector, please make love to me. Gusto ko maka feel ng love just for this moment, ngayon lang please. Please pull me up from the dumps." Then, Ana kissed him hungrily. Hector was totally taken aback. Hindi talaga nya ini-expect ang pagkandong ni Ana sa kanya. Despite having the life he wanted, Hector is lonely deep inside. Pareho lang pala sila ni Ana at that moment kaya naiisip ni Hector, wala namang masama kung magpakaligaya sila pa-minsanminsan. He carried Ana to his bedroom. Hector wanted to do it rough and fast, but he noticed that Ana is not that savvy so he has to tone down to match her pace -- slow and sweet. He wants it empty and soulless, but he could feel that Ana is putting emotions to it. Ana's sweetness makes him a little uncomfortable, because Ana might expect something from him after their sex, which he is not ready to give. But Hector keeps aside his worries, and just enjoy the moment. They make love in Hector's bedroom, which has a glass wall/sliding door facing the mountains and empty field. Right from his bed, you can see the stars and moon. It makes Ana feel that they are making love under the sky, moon, and stars. She does not really know how it is to be in a sex act, but this one feels so good for her. She just does not want to stop it. Gusto lang nyang nakadikit ang hubad nyang katawan kay Hector. She feels so safe in his arms. Hindi talaga alam ni Ana kung ano ang gagawin nya kaya she just kissed and caressed Hector's body. Hector kind of loses his patience with Ana's slow style that he cannot help his self from asking, "is this your first time?" Nahiya si Ana pero inamin na lang din niya, and so she let him take the lead. Na shock si Ana, Hector turned her into a wild whore, but still she felt so good about it. She does not mind being a whore to Hector. Hindi na mabilang ni Ana kung ilang ulit na siya

nakaabot sa langit sa sarap. Hindi sila huminto hanggat hindi nila naubos ang mga lakas nila, at hanggang hindi nila na satisfy ang isa't isa para malimutan ang kalungkutan. ----------------------------------------------Nagising si Hector ng 7am na. Ana was still asleep beside her, hugging his body. He cannot deny that he feels good to have someone with him. But he shake off the thoughts. He get off the bed, then went straight to get started for the day. He left a note on the bedside table for Ana kung saan sya. When Ana woke up, it was already 930 am. Medyo naninibago sya sa pangyayari sa buhay nya, but she also cannot deny that she wish she can have Hector in her life. It was already 930am ng magising si Ana. Wala na si Hector sa tabi niya. Hindi nya alam kung ano gawin nya. Hector did not leave any contact number to which she can contact him. She went to the bathroom. And, she found their car keys ni Hector. She picked up the pick-up keys, and thought of leaving the place. Naninibago sya sa nangyari sa kanya, and so she drove off without saying goodbye to Hector except for a written note she left beside Hector's note for her. ----------------------------------------------When Hector arrived home at night bringing Ana's car, he was no longer surprise na wala si Ana. It's just a one-night stand then. ---------------------------------------------The following day, may dumating syang bisita. It was the pick-up car na dinala ni Ana. It was returned by her driver. "Good morning, po. Kayo po ba si Hector. Pinapasauli po ito ni Ma'am Ana sa inyo. At may ipinabibigay din sya sa iyo. At saka dadalhin ko na lang ang sasakyan daw nya." Ang sabi ni Manong Roger, ang family driver nila Ana. When Hector opened the envelope, it contains a P50,000 check named for him. Hindi alam ni Hector kung para ano ang P50000 -- bayad kaya ito sa serbisyo niya? "Manong, pakisuli po iyan ni Ana. Sabihin mo sa kanya, hindi nya ako kailangan bayaran. Salamat. Ito na ang yawe sa sasakyan. Okay na yan." Sabi ni Hector sa driver, pagkatapos umalis. Parang nainsulto si Hector sa P50000 na pinabigay sa kanya ni Ana. He concluded that rich chinese girls are nothing but all about money. And, so he trashed down the memories of the

other night, and moved on. -------------------------------------------For 3 years, Hector and Ana live their own lives. They never cross each other's path again. Hector's farm and business continue to grow. While Ana has to take over their shipping business since his father died, but unfortunately, she did not do well in growing their business. It's on the brink of bankruptcy, Ana can either sell it to the bank to pay for their debts or sell it someone who can grow it again. Ana, as much as possible, does not want to give in to the banks because she wanted to protect & keep their employees. So she asked her lawyer to find a good individual or company who can take over, and still keep their long-time employees. One afternoon while Ana is having a migraine to having beg the bank to give her more time to find another individual to take over their shipping business, her lawyer, who was a bestfriend of her dad, called. "Ana, I think I find the right guy who can buy your shipping business. We need to meet him first thing in the morning before he and his lawyer will meet another shipping company they're eying to buy." Atty. Lozano said in an urgent manner. "Can you please dress up a bit tomorrow? I want you to be there to be part of the negotiation. We cannot lose this deal. Please dress up for it." "Okay, I'll find something in my closet." Ana was a bit confused, but ayaw na niyang makipagdebate pa sa lawyer. She just wants to get done and over with this roller coaster event. "No. Wala sa closet ang dress na sinasabi ko. Get something sexy." Her lawyer demanded from her. "Attorneyy, ang mga barko lang ang pinatitinda ko sa iyo. Are you also trying to sell me?" Ana wants to laugh at her lawyer. "Ana, pagod na ako sa kahahanap ng gusto mong buyer. I think this is the right fit. So let's go for a kill." Her lawyer countered. "But I don't think I really need to be slutty to just sell, right? Ana defended herself. "Ana, quit it. We're desperate. Remember, you are doing this for the hundreds of people working for your shipping company and their families." The lawyer replied to her. "Okay, I get it. Will 2-piece bikini do?" Ana tries to joke. "Yes, but put on a red tube dress over it." The lawyer plays along with her joke. "What the??? Ang aga-aga mag-tutube ako!" Ana tries to protest.

"Ana, tube or the hundreds of families? Tomorrow at the grand hotel, I already reserved the conference room where we will meet them. Let's just meet there." The lawyer insists. "Ano pa ba iba kung dadalhin tomorrow?" Ana asked in defeat. "Your slutty self, and some wit and charm." The lawyer replied and cut the call. Ana feel kind of helpless with what is happening. But she uplift herself, since the lawyer was right. This is not for her but for the hundreds of employees who are depending on their business. So she called her gay friend to accompany her to get that sexy dress.

-----------------------------------------

In the hotel conference room, Ana's lawyer already started a negotiation with the prospect buyer and his lawyer without Ana since natagalan itong dumating. "That's an interesting offer. But we cannot decide pa ngayon. We will meet first the Lucion shipping company to see their offer." The prospect buyer's polite refusal. Timing lang na dumating si Ana when their prospect buyer shows disinterest to their offer. True to what her lawyer demanded, Ana came in a red tube dress. She really got all their attention with her red tube, and her very fair complexion -- para syang anghel na nanunukso pumasok sa conference room. Napatunganga silang tatlong nakatingin kay Ana. "Sorry. I was caught in traffic." Ana excused herself. She kind of choke when she saw na si Hector ang prospect buyer pala. Nagpaka-dedma lang si Hector pero in his mind the one-night stand moment he had with her was playing. Parang gusto dalhin ni Hector si Ana sa kanyang room sa hotel, at gawin uli lahat ng nangyari nila sa noon. Ana's lawyer gave her a signal to make 'pa-cute' to the prospect buyer. Ana gets it right away, and so she puts on her big sexy smile. "I'm really looking forward for you to take over our shipping company. I cannot imagine another person running but you. I will be happy to show you how to get started with it. I'm so happy to see you again, Hector." The 2 lawyers were surprised na magkakakilala pala sila Ana at Hector. "We're meeting another shipping company this afternoon. We will give you our decision after it." Ang sabi uli ng lawyer. "Oh, Hector, please consider now our shipping company. Sign now the deal so I can treat you

or something." Ana said with a heavy sexual tone. She was actually desperate to just close the deal with Hector. She really thinks, Hector is the best person to have for her employees. "My treat, you pick, Hector." "I think it's a good deal. Kindly take care of it, Attorney." Hector ordered her lawyer in a brief manner. "Okay, great. Please sign the 2 of you, Ana and Hector. Then you can both can leave while we iron out the details." Ana's lawyer shake hands with Hector. "It's nice to have you in Co Shipping Company." Wala ng nasabi ang lawyer ni Hector. "We'll be in the poolside restaurant." Ang sabi ni Hector sa kanila. ---------------------------------------Hector and Ana walked to the poolside restaurant in silence. They get settled in a secluded area sa poolside restaurant. "Thank you very much for that, Hector. I'm so much at peace now that good people working for our company are in good hands with you." Ana sincerely thanks Hector. "I'm just not cut for business." Hector just nods to what is Ana talking about. He is tired after 3 days of staying in the metro for finding a good deal. All he wants right now is Ana in his bed but he snaps his self from thinking of it. "Funny. I realized that you always pop up in my life when I'm always on the brink of deep shit." Ana said to Hector. Hector reaches out to Ana's hand in the table, and hold it. "I miss you." "I miss you, too, badly." Ana tightly hold back Hector's hand. Hector pulled her up, and bring her to his room. Then, he made love to her but this time it's Ana's pace he follows -- sweet and slow. After they have gone to the wonderland, they were in a tight embrace. "Hector?" Ana whispers to see if Hector is awake. "Uhhh." Sagot ni Hector. "Thank you again for keeping our employees." Ana said. "Uhhh." Sagot uli ni Hector. "Can you also please keep me?" Ana asked shyly, expecting the worst answer from Hector. "I love you very much, Hector. I don't care if you don't have any feelings for me. I just want you to know that." Ana added.

Hector just hugged her tightly. "Thank you for showing me the lighter side of life again. Please be with me... forever." Ana cannot help but shed a tear of joy. She cannot help but wonder if she has been really a good girl to deserve this, and so is Hector has also the same thoughts. The End.

Love story is meant to be shared. Feel free to pass this around. Thank you, @fakekrisaquino fakekrisaquino@gmail.com http://fakekrisaquino.com