After I read Midnight Sun on Stephanie's site I was totally intrigured by the idea of how Edward saw the

world and his relationship with Bella. Then I finished Breaking Dawn and it was my favorite book ever! I hate a hard time with some of it, like a lot of fans out there, but I generally love it! That got me thinking, what was Edward thinking? This was what I came up with. Before I begin this chapter I just want to re-iterate that this is Stephanie Meyer's work and characters. I have borrowed them to play with. This is Edwards Version of what happened in Breaking Dawn ( the first book anyway). I hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you think! Review it if you like, I'd always like to hear opinions! Breaking Dawn, Edwards POV Preface I'd lived many decades. I ran into my share of monsters, being one myself. I'd never felt the need to run from them, I was fast, I was strong. But this, this was different. How do you run away from yourself? I knew this day was drawing near, but it had been something I was dreading and something I knew I could not live without. She was everything I wanted. She was everything I needed and I knew what I much do. But how do you kill the one you love? Chapter 1. Engaged I was in my room listening to music, trying to relax. Bella had wanted some time to run out and pick up a few things. Ever dependant, I knew that she wanted to go on her own, so I let her without even the slightest hesitation (that she could see). I desperately wanted to go with her, but I knew that she would be safe. But, here I sat. Alone, in my room. While she was out there alone I worried about her safety. She was so very breakable, and trouble never had any difficulty finding her. I must admit, I did worry about her a little less knowing that she was in a safe, reliable car. Her Chevy truck had finally died...with a little bit of help from Rosalie ( who was starting to warm to the idea of having Bella as a sister, even though she wasn't pleased that Bella could so easily give up her human life to become one of us). After her truck had...died, I delighted in her promise to allow me to buy her a new car., which she would only allow after the truck was officially done. I knew she wanted nothing spectacular, but I needed her to be in the safest vehicle possible. I happened to know someone at a Mercedes Dealership in Europe and he got me in touch with the right people. The car, The Guardian (perfect name if you were to ask me to watch over my Bella), hadn't even been released in Europe but I managed to finagle one. It was perfect. Better than I'd hoped! It was virtually indestructible, exactly what my destructible Bella needed. It had missile proof glass and four thousand pounds of body amour. You could even take a flame thrower to it and not even damage the paint. Perfect in case of car accidents or falling trees or too aggressive ware wolves. I knew she would be embarrassed by it. It was much too extravagant for her. She had been hoping to see a Toyota or a Ford or even another Chevy, at the very least one of the symbols she knew. Se had been embarrassed and overwhelmed when I revealed the car to her.

"What is that?" She asked incredulously after I brought her outside to look at it when it had first arrived. "Why, Bella, it's your new car of course. Don't you like it?" I asked, a little of the excitement had faded from my voice, having done it intentionally knowing she wouldn't make too much of a big deal about it if she knew she would hurt my feelings. "Of course Edward, but it's too much." She replied as she put her hand to my face. "Don't worry, it's only your before car anyway" I hadn't actually meant for that little bit of information to slip out yet, but I had been distracted by her lovely chocolate brown eyes. "My what? Before what?" She asked stunned. "Well, this one is actually a loaner. After...." I started to say it, but it was still so difficult to think about the moment I dreaded, the moment that I knew would come all too soon, the day her heart stopped beating. The day I killed her. "After you become one of us." I whispered my voice so low I'm sure she barely heard it. She knew that despite how much I loved her, this was not an easy topic for me to discuss. That effectively ended the conversation and she murmured her thanks, only a little grudgingly, with some of her sweet kisses. Yes, that day was coming quickly upon me, a hard day it would be. I began to feel myself wallow. I decided this would not be how I spent my day. I turned my thought to a day much closer at hand. A happy day, a joyous day and one I couldn't wait for. The day I would finally make Bella my wife. I lingered over the words in my head; Bella, my wife. She would be my wife and I would be her husband. I remembered, with a smile, the day we had gone to tell Charlie that we were engaged. She fidgeted the whole time. She finally agreed to wear my mother's ring. It meant more to me than she could even imagine and I held her hand tightly in mine so she would stop trying to hide her hand in her pockets. I had head Charlie's cruiser well before she did and she tensed when the sound reached her and continued to fidget more. "Stop fidgeting, Bella. Please try to remember that you're not confessing to a murder here" "Easy for you to say." She grumped. Charlie was walking up the sidewalk and I could tell she was listening closely, tensing with each step he took. "Calm down, Bella." I whispered as I heart her heart rapidly accelerating. We heard the door slam and Bella jumped. "Hey Charlie," I called, feeling fairly confident. "No!" Bella hissed under her breathe. "What?" I whispered back. "Wait till he hangs up his gun!" I chuckled and ran my fingers through my hair. She was silly. As Charlie came around the corned in his uniform he made a face, clearly still upset it was I who was sitting with Bella, he would have preferred Jacob to be the one she loved, however he did try to be civil.

"Hey kids, what's up?" "We'd like to talk to you," I said "We have some good news." He was suspicious immediately. "Good news?" He growled glancing right at Bella. "Have a seat Dad." He raised an eyebrow and stared at me. I knew exactly what he was thinking. He stomped over to his recliner and sat on the very edge of his seat. "Don't get worked up, Dad," Bella started to say. "Everything is ok" I grimaced at her words. Okay? It was more than okay. If it were me I would have used words like wonderful or perfect or incredible, but certainly not okay. That was like calling Bella simply pretty. "Sure it is Bella, sure it is. If everything is so great, then why are you sweating bullets?" "I'm not sweating," She lied. She was indeed a little sweaty, but she looked glorious, then with that thought I had to remind myself to focus. She leaned into me for support as she wiped the sweat from her forehead. As she did this, Charlie's thoughts became very clear and panicked; I barely had time to decipher them before he shouted. "You're pregnant!" Charlie had exploded. "You're pregnant, aren't you?" And although the question was meant to be for Bella he was glaring directly at me. "No! Of course not." Bella shouted. I knew she must be upset; this was exactly the thought she told me people would have when we told them we were getting married. Charlie relaxed slightly believing what Bella was saying. "Oh! Sorry." "Apology accepted." Bella said, stalling. There was a long pause and I realized that they were waiting for me to say something. Bella looked at me with panic in her eyes. I could tell she couldn't do it and needed me to step in. I smiled at her, squared myself and looked directly at her father. "Charlie, I realize that I've gone about this out of order. Traditionally, I should have asked you first. I mean no disrespect, but since Bella has already said yes and I don't want to diminish her choice in the matter, instead of asking for her hand, I'm asking you for your blessing. We're getting married, Charlie. I love her more than anything in the world, more than my own life, and – by some miracle she loves me that way too. Will you give us your blessing? After a moment I saw Charlie's eyes shift, his eyes were now locked on Bella's ring. Bella held her breath beside me as Charlie started to change from fair to red, red to purple, purple to blue. She started to get up tentatively. "Give him a minute." I said so only she could hear as I softly squeezed her hand. The silence was long, very long for Bella. But in the silence Charlie started to return to his normal color. His lips were pursed and his eyebrows were furrowed. He was deep in thought. He studied both of us for a moment. As his thoughts seemed to clear, I relaxed and I knew Bella could feel me beside her. "Guess I'm not that surprised," He grumbled. "Knew I'd have to deal with something like this soon enough. You sure about this?" He demanded after he heard Bella sigh. "I'm one hundred percent sure about Edward." Bella said without skipping a beat.

"Ha!" Charlie burst with a chuckle and Bella jumped. I'm not sure Alice would have let her anyway." She'd worried and wondered if Phil's cast would be off in time. "Well Bella.. you know. suspicious again. For the past few weeks. Bella and I both knew the rush." Charlie muttered. Oooh. She knew that the only way I would change her would be if she was my wife." Charlie choked. She glanced at me and I tried not to frown at Charlie's thoughts. ha.. today." Bella gasped expecting more of a reaction. She was having such a great time with the flowers and the decor and the menu for our human guests. but she hadn't been dreading it either. I could tell from Charlie's thought that he was searching for an argument but we all knew he wasn't going to find one. Mom. "I'd like to do that. "Okay fine. probably even more than she was about telling Charlie. "But.. ha!" We watched as Charlie doubled over in fits of laughter. even if she wanted to. "things settled. And then Renee had surprised her buy telling her she was not making a mistake. that's what Bella needed to hear. No one wanted their daughter shacking up with their boyfriend."Getting married though? What's the rush?" He asked. "Dad?" Bella asked anxious." I reminded him." More laughter. She was getting older everyday and didn't want to appear too much older than me. Plane tickets only get more expensive." Renee had begun after Bella finally managed to tell her she was marrying me. She wanted to be one of us so badly she was willing to give up everything she had been taught. Renee seemed to love Esme as most people did and they hadn't even met. I explained shrugging. It's how I was raised". Then he was almost happy." "But? What?" Bella demanded. the right way. still having trouble with the concept. "Back up a second. I wanted her to . For one. For another I didn't want her worrying about anything unnecessary. She had been through so much with the Mutt and Victoria and the Volturi breathing down our necks. I knew she was trying to prepare for the day that I dreaded." She'd stuttered with the word. "What do you mean. "I knew this was coming. although I wouldn't say Bella has been excited for the wedding. Bella didn't need to do a single thing for the wedding. She was turning nineteen and I would always be frozen at seventeen. clearly afraid he was having a nervous break down. They chatted for a while and Renee was surprised. I knew they were probably right. Of course these were things we couldn't share with Charlie.." Get married. well. She seemed to assume we were heading in that direction when we were visiting back in April. I remembered how Bella had been terrified of telling Renee. waited so long? We just got en-en. "We're going away to Dartmouth together in the fall Charlie. "I'm a little miffed that you waited so long to tell me. "Ha. "But you have to tell your mom! I'm not saying one word to Renee! That's all yours!" And that was how we first told anyone we were getting married. I had been pleased because Renee and Esme had been in such close contact.

I'd always like to hear opinions! Chapter 2 – Long Night "I miss you already. each one more beautiful than the last. I fed her as much as possible. I knew there was no way I could be disappointed. She was my Bella and I was her Edward.. pouffy gown. I can stay. Bella in a long. not the taste of it anyway. This is Edwards Version of what happened in Breaking Dawn ( the first book anyway). no." She breathed carefully to be quiet so as not to wake Charlie who slept in the next room. Today I knew that she would not be happy. it hardly even bothered me now. I got used to the burning in my throat. Bella in a long." She said. I opened my eyes to find her starting back at me. no longer her blood though. the burning of my desire for her. So there's no point. Although Alice did everything in her power to keep her mind away from Bella's wedding dress so as not to spoil my surprise at seeing her on our wedding day. The time to make sure that Bella's dress would fit her perfectly. . Plus I knew that Charlie was stressing her out more and more. just as I always did. pouting. Bella in a big white." I said nuzzling her hair. She was a goddess sent here to tempt me. You have to go.our wedding day. and all my worries about changing her and the Volturi and the mutt disappeared. I hope you enjoy and please do let me know what you think! Review it if you like. He had been counting on Renee to be the heavy but was sorely disappointed. something new everyday. I thought of so many styles.experience everything human that she could before she never would be able to again. I smiled. I bent my head to her lips and the sweet sound of her heart and our lips were the only sounds in the still night. white flowing gown. I was in my happy place.. It's your bachelor party. I tried to picture Bella in a wedding dress. I stroked her face as I gazed into her eyes. "Mmmm. but I could tell she didn't mean it. what a glorious thought! I still had picked up from Alice that today was the final fitting." Bella said. I have borrowed them to play with." was her response. I couldn't be more eager to have them behind me. "No. white. Before I begin this chapter I just want to re-iterate that this is Stephanie Meyer's work and characters. "Bachelor parties are designed for those who are sad to see the passing of their single days. She was tempting. the sound of her blood pumping as she got excited by my kisses. I didn't want to leave her anymore than she wanted me to go. And I was there with her. Pictures cycled in my head. I knew she would look perfect in whatever gown she had chosen. "I don't have to leave. slinky gown.. after more than eighty years I was glad to be settling down with my Bella. "True. I let her sleep as much as possible this was as much for her as much as it was for me (I loved watching her sleep in my arms although I wouldn't miss those nightmares she was always having. "Definitely staying.. The thing that tempted me now was her heart. I saw the same longing in her eyes that I felt for her. Her right hand tightened in my hair and her left pressed into the small of my back." I murmured into her ear. I desperately wanted to know what she was thinking." And it was true. It was a different burning in my body that was painful now.

It's too hard to concentrate when you're with me like this." It was always at the forefront of my mind. I felt her shudder as she lay beside me and I bent to her pressing my hard." "Shh!" She pressed her lips to mine. I had to sacrifice my shirt which now lay of the floor beside the bed. You'll get hurt. "Can you?" I asked barely a whisper. "Don't start this again. what about Charlie?" She sighed. "I mean the wedding – which I am positive you will survive despite your qualms – but afterward. but I needed to be sure that she was sure." she said. like I needed any more reminding "and we've only practiced certain scenes. hating that marriage was still not something that excited her as much as it did me. "Well. "Really? No second thoughts? It's not too late to change your mind. I won't be able to control myself. "Wait." I laughed. She just didn't understand the constant care I had to take so that I didn't break her. I knew she was getting tired of my questions. our wedding night. She was huddled in a blanket." "I don't know." She reminded me. not understanding my meaning. rolling her eyes. I went still and straight. "Practice make perfect. "I'm sure about you. "I'll be fine. knowing she would never take it. It's no time for playing safe.This would be the last time that we would cuddle up in this room." I hesitated. I don't want you to do anything you're not sure about. "But this is the dress rehersal. I – I can't think straight. This would be the last time I had to sneak in through her window in order to be with her at night. I knew she would never let me out of our deal but I had to try." She said gripping my shoulders and hugging me to her.what about Renee. "Toasty warm. She was always putting others above herself. I had made a deal and I would make good on it. "I'll miss them." "Are you trying to ditch me?" She joked.. "A deal's a deal. cold lips to her lovely. "Just making sure." I whispered." I was giving her another way out. . a surge of urgency for her washed through me and I started to pull away knowing that if we continued I wouldn't be able to last to the wedding night. she was thinking how that they would miss her..." I didn't answer her. then shouldn't we? Have you slept at all in the last month?" I knew she hadn't been sleeping well with all of the changes that she had been going though. And it was my turn to sigh as she pressed her soft tongue to my lips. "Bella. "How are your feet?" I asked. She kicked her leg free of the blanket and seductively wrapped it around my waist. unless I could convince her to change her mind. we should be fairly close to perfection by this point." She answered." And I knew she was not thinking about herself. I knew she knew what I was thinking. warm ones." "Bella.. the rest I can live through.

I want you and I want you forever. Edward had been before him.well I wish that he'd been right. "More that there was sine way he could have been." She made an indistinguishable sound that sound remotely like a cat throwing up." "What does that mean?" I thought for a moment making my thoughts clear. I was marrying . I growled. Edward?" "I just wish. I could never give it to us..never moving forward. "Edward. "Do you remember when we told Charlie we were getting married? And he thought that you were. I wanted her to listen to me. One lifetime is simply not enough for me. No Moping or I'm calling your brothers to come and get you. It was just something I couldn't give her.. as well as my own father. No. "Everyone woman's dream come true. I could never be a father as Carlisle had been one to me. to herself mostly. It was the eve of my wedding. we've been through this. look at my sister. Mike! How will I go on?" She feigned distress. put she was fast. "How could you know that. "You are my future. "Admit it – for one second her honestly considered it. "I'll miss my friends.. She put her hand over my lips soothing me. There were so many things she would never experience. too. I know it will be hard. It's not as easy a sacrifice as you imagine. That we had that kind of potential. I wanted her for more than forever. I don't want to steal your future." I sighed heavily and then I was suddenly angry. stop. too. obviously shocked. like a child." she teased while I was trying to make her see just how serious this really way. I want to give you things. but this is what I want." She said simply." I thought for a moment. To take what I was saying seriously. If it's a problem later. "What. If I were human-" I started to say. She was right. Oh.. "It's not right! I don't want you to have to make sacrifices for me." I whispered." She smiled in the darkness.pregnant?" "And he thought about shooting you?" She teased with a light laugh." "Esme and Rosalie get by just fine. we can do what Esme did."Angela and Ben and Jessica and Mike?" I started naming all her human friends." She hesitated and I stared at her.. "I know what I'm doing." This of course was what I wanted too. "Never changing. not take things away from you. "Especially Mike. I hate taking that away from you. There were so many things I could never give here. our wedding." I didn't answer. "Frozen forever at eighteen. She laughed but then said seriously. we'll adopt. Bella? Look at my mother. Maybe you need a bachelor party..

" She griped. "You'd better not make him late. The wedding ceremony is the one thing I can't wait –" I stopped mid sentence as new voices popped into me head. "Oh." She laughed. She wanted me and I more than wanted her and nothing was going to change that." Emmett. before they break my house. like we got married everyday. as if not sure she could let go. Must be nerves/" I said as I touched her cheek." I heard Bella murmur quietly. radiating a peaceful calm. There was an idea. I've been waiting a century to marry you. "Go. concern clouding her voice. How I didn't want to leave. Yo! Bro. Miss Swan. "We're coming in after him. reminiscent of nails on a chalkboard. I am moping. "Are your feet getting cold?" "Not in that sense. sounding very casual." I said smiling. I chuckled. who was still invisible to Bella. Apparently Emmett and Jasper are not going to let me bow out of tonight. "I'm sorry. "Jasper? What do vampires do at bachelor parties? You're not taking him to a strip club. but still sounding as if she were right next to me Jasper was at Bella's window. Bella. I didn't want to leave her. but she reluctantly released me. but I had fun landing on Emmett. You have a big day tomorrow. we know you're in there! Emmett called from outside. and Bella shuttered at the awful sound. "Have fun." I rolled my eyes but stood and replaced my shirt. "Don't worry. Take 3 male vampires to a place filled with .the most beautiful woman in the world. are you?" I chuckled. hissed. I found my way swiftly to the ground and I knew I had been too fast for Bella to see." I ordered." I suddenly crouched low and coiled like a spring. it served him right for stealing me from my Bella. "If you don't send Edward out. I gritted my teeth listening to Emmett inside my head. "Very convincing. "I'll meet you are the alter. for the love of all things holy!" "What's wrong?" Bella asked. She did have a very big day tomorrow and did need her rest. I heard Bella again." She said trying to keep her voice light. "Get to sleep." She smiled back at me. "I'll be the one in white. "Thanks! That's sure to help me wind down. There was an awful squeal on the window. I bent to give her a final kiss on her forehead." I hoped he was helping her to relax. My favorite thing to do was watch her sleep. You'd better get your ass out here. He cursed and I laughed. it's party time! "You don't have to call my brothers. of course I could hear them only in my head. We'll get him home in plenty of time. there had been so few times when we had not spend the night together." She squeezed me tighter.

"Would you allow someone to destroy Rosalie? Would you let someone pull her limb from limb and burn the pieces? . I knew that my brothers really wanted to share this time with me. a couple of grizzly bears. bro. Wherever we can find you some nice. this desire was almost too much.people and women and sweat and heat and high emotions. I thought for a moment." "Well. You're so whipped! Emmett thought." Emmett pressed. This was my first and I knew that they had come to believe that I would never meet someone. All I wanted to do was to climb back in that window and lay with my beautiful bride-to-be in my arms. I growled and his grin widened and then he ran into the forest as I took a stop towards him. terror at the possibility of hurting her. We ran in silence for a but." Jasper soothed. feeling my emotions rolling off me in waves. Everything will be fine. "Don't worry Edward". She wanted for us to make love and I had agreed. why didn't you? Maybe I could have recouped some of my losses. I thought it was bad when I only wanted her blood. Not that a place like that could ever hold appeal for me. staring at me. Rosalie was no human and he didn't need to hide his desires from her. There was only one thing she wanted to experience while she was still human. she played on my wanting her to experience everything human. am not sure at times either. Emmett and Rosalie and Jasper and Alice had already been married several times." Jasper interjected. "Relax." He came to stand by me and put his arm over my shoulder as we prepared to leave. neverousness because neither one of us had experience in that particular department and of course pure longing and lust to be with Bella in the most primal of acts. which meant several bachelor parties for each of them. Emmett thought somewhere to my right. "I honestly. I can't tell you how many times I almost came to giving in. laughing again. Pretty much an ordinary night out. The thought filled me with joy and my thoughts drifted to our wedding night. mean mountain lions. I'm still surprised you managed to hold out this long. I decided that I would take a page from Bella's book. Just a few mountain lions. the only one I ever saw. she is very obviously ready for the two of you to seal the deal. "We Cullens have our own version. the only one I ever wanted to see. as it were. do you know how much money I lost?" Emmett grumped. but this longing. This bachelor party was as much for them as it was for me." "Thanks Jasper. When I could turn to Bella and know that she was no longer Isabella Swan. "Seattle?" I asked as we ran through the woods. would never fall in love. Jasper had said. "It's your own fault for betting again Alice. Emotions flooded through me. but Isabella Cullen. "Yeah. "Don't tell her anything!" Emmett growled and I smacked him. I knew it would be difficult for him to understand. Bella had made one provision for us to get married. trying to put in words he might understand. My mind was on what would happen tomorrow. anything to make her my wife. Bella was the only one I ever looked at.

"How can I loose myself when she's still human? What if I hurt her? How do I show her pleasure and still hold back enough that I don't hurt her?" "You just will. Emmett always made a game of . but focus your pleasure onto Bella. more so than I had heard him in a very long time. brother. simply because you lost control. It's a pain like no other. You are stronger than I. bro. His head suddenly jerked from my face to somewhere to the left of us. make love for the first time. Listen to her. Everything is heightened. imagine if that someone was you. A new emotion flooded me as a question formed in my mind. Although I had plenty of fun with my brothers. "Well. man. I looked at both my brothers. I smelled it too. The Hunt was on and I allowed my mind to stray to the mountain lions. Make her feel what you are feeling. but this is what Bella wants and you seem to be in the habit of giving her what she wants. just a perfect number although unusual to find so many together. Chapter 3 – Big Day It was a long night. you know." I started to say as I stopped to lean on a large boulder looking at the ground. Emmett barked a laugh so loud it scared some birds from a near by tree." He barked his laugh again. you were ripping Rose limb from limb." His grin wide." There was no way to hide my embarrassment. It's a burning." Emmett said smiling. no!" He growled. "Now." Emmett said and then pondered a moment. but my grimaced as I said the words. "It's loosing yourself in the one you're with. but only one method. Edward. I still hope to keep her human as long as possible. allow yourself to feel it and enjoy it. If I lost control I could break her beyond repair. It was true that I didn't blush that spectacular color that Bella did. I was wondering. Could you ever forgive yourself for that? That's what it would feel like for me. What it will feel like when we do." As I considered what it might be like for me to be with Bella in every manner of the word. You can't plan it. a fire from within you. "There's nothing in the world like it. And well fed I was. It needs to escape and there's only one way to get rid of it. more fierce than usual. "Dinner time!" He said flashing his razor sharp teeth. What is your question?" Sometimes Jasper's gift was a blessing and curse." Emmett pondered a moment "I see your point." Jasper added. "What it's like. when you are doing it just right. It's the pleasure and the pain. She will let you know when you aren't doing something right and of course. Three mountain lions were stalking to our left. It's just something you have to do." Well there is more than one way. I took it as a gift. "My suggestion is to enjoy your pleasure. "Your worry too much. tomorrow night would be easier if I was well feed. I know it isn't helpful. Jasper and Emmett had stopped and double backed at my abrupt stop. He smiled at me as Emmett clapped me on the back. "Don't be embarrassed."Hell.

thankfully. but Alice was very happy because she got to pack and shop for everything for Bella. I wandered around my house for a while taking in some of the preparations that had already been put in place. on the plus side she now had a whole new wardrobe without having to do any of the work.. I must say how proud I am at your resolve. "Well. I knew I had no choice so I followed. but I can't seem to delay it any longer. while still. is there another part that you are not to wonderful with? He asked in my head again. I would prefer until after I changed her to experience it. I know you will find the will to keep her safe and be careful with her. Edward. He thought for a moment. How are you doing. there is one thing she wants to experience about all others. "Nope. but I figured better to over-do than to under-do considering what Bella expected of me after our wedding. so I found Alice hanging some lights in the trees and decided to give her a hand. oh my! I had more than I should have. Can't see the bride before the wedding. you know Bella wants to experience human things before she becomes one of us." And. Do you remember when James had bitten her and you needed to suck the wound of all it's venom? "How could I ever forget?" The memory was still awful.hunting. It was fairly early in the morning when got shooed away by Alice who said I needed to leave because she was going to pick up Bella.enjoying yourself. I know we have discussed the ramifications of this long ago. and allow me to surprise her with our honeymoon destination. well with the wedding part anyway. but there are patients I need to check on at the hospital. screaming in pain and begging for me. Shopping was Alice's favorite thing to do so Bella agreed only to make Alice happy. When we were in the car and on our way I heard him ask wordlessly. that would. . to make Bella better. I'm afraid I'll loose control and I'll hurt her. to make sure nothing had been forgotten. I went over all our luggage. seeing my Bella laying broken. "Where am I supposed to go?" Perfect timing as usual. remember the human tradition. Well you found the fill to stop. keep myself semi-busy. I knew this was difficult for her." Alice said as she recited the periodic tables and then all the zip codes in the continental United States (she must be bored at night. I knew she was trying anything to keep her thoughts away from Bella's dress. but she insists that we make love tonight when we reach out honeymoon." Well. you lasted a lot longer than anyone would have ever dreamt possible." Carlisle turned and headed to the door. son? "I'm wonderful." I whined.. "But I want to see her. Edward. my brothers and Carlisle swept into the room. never have to happen again. Even though Bella hates surprises I begged her to allow me this one little thing. I looked for something to do. I had my fill of grizzly bears and mountain lions and deer. An entire evening away from her was an awful thing. still haunted me. I thought). "Come. Spending time with my father wouldn't be so bad anyway. I know it isn't the most exciting place to be before your wedding. There wasn't much for me to do once I had my fill to eat. formulating his next thoughts. which at the moment jumbled in my head.

grudgingly I slowed to a human pace to go and stand by the minister. but he had found the time and he had already changed into his dark suit. Angela. almost like someone out of Anne of Green Gables. Let's get going. Actually. She didn't want to spoil the surprise for me of seeing her coming to me. whenever you're ready. knowing it must be difficult for him with all the humans in the room and it must have been filled to the brim with emotions. "Okay.. of course. so as not to wrinkle pants. I nodded and smiled at him. You will not kill her. We waited a couple of miles from the house as we were instructed by Alice who had the obsession to keep people's thoughts of Bella away from me. I thought it over until I felt Carlisle slapping me on the shoulder. listen to me now. You have medical training. tops. Carlisle wasted no time and put the accelerator to the floor. I got ready in Carlisle's office at the hospital while he checked on patients. Bella was going to be my wife in just a few short hours. Edward! He was right. I don't know where or when. Cheer up! You're getting married today! You look like someone died. I thought. a joyous day. Alice had obviously though my attire met the standard as she didn't make me change it. This waiting was surely going to kill me. then turned to look at our guests. Alright. We were in the driveway in two minutes. It was all I could do to stay there instead of going to the door and starting to run home. son. he knew I could hear him. with my taupe colored ascot would match what Bella was wearing. then you will call me immediately and we will go from there. Just when I was getting my antsiest I heard Carlisle's thoughts. Edward. or worse. although the minutes seemed to be passing at a snails pace. or for her to see my face the first time I saw her coming down the aisle. I knew it wouldn't be long now and I glanced over and saw Jasper."What if I do loose control and I do hurt her. I knew he was right and there was nothing more to say. your love for her is too strong. She didn't like to be the center of attention and she certainly . I heard him think as he strode through the door. I carefully. Hopefully Bella would approve. I walked quickly though the garage door (I didn't want to take the risk and been seen in all my diamond shimmering glory). I didn't need any motivation. If she is injured you will know enough to help her and keep her comfortable until you can get her to a hospital. who happened to be the father of Bella's friend. My wedding day. Hearing that Bella was anxious was all the motivation I needed. All I wanted to do was pull it on and go make Bella my wife. I hope he was able to work a little of his magic to calm Bella." "GO!" I growled at Carlisle who was driver's seat. The only reason we weren't married right now was because Bella wanted to do this right. sat down in Carlisle's chair. the minister is ready and Bella is getting anxious.?" The words were heavy on me as I said them. Edward. I did look very old fashioned. Rosalie was playing Pachelbel's Canon. But.. my greatest fear. This is a happy. It she is more than injured. I looked across the desk at my suit jacket. It's time. high white collared shirt. We waited in silence and finally got Alice's phone call. I wondered briefly if my linen suit and crisp. She must be a wreak.

. cradling it gently as if she were the most delicate of flowers. make one revision and asked the minister to switch out the traditional "til death do us part" for the much more appropriate "as long as we both shall live". hike up her dress. braided intricately. stretched on her tip toes and threw her arms along with her bouquet. She was exquisite. She looked at me and looked like she wanted to drop her bouquet. we coordinated perfectly. The joy I felt was mimicked upon Bella's face. Alice's influence no doubt. The traditional wedding march started and I could hear Charlie. white satin and lace dress." I vowed triumphantly. not as horrified as I would have guessed she would been at the gravity of the words. we would both live forever. She wore a long. not more than beautiful. for forever. I didn't need to worry about my attire one bit." She chocked through the words I wanted to hear for so long. Not too fast. I touched the warm miracle that was her hand and I was home. And then it finally hit me. And then I saw her. We did however. they were tears of joy. but there were still people in the room. one foot in front of the other. nervous as Bella was it was best to limit the amount she had to say. amused. if not for Charlie holding her arm tightly. I tilted my head slowly down to Bella for our first kiss as husband and wife. She was so happy that I had finally found someone to spend the rest of my life with and it helped that she adored Bella. being Bella. He thought his mantra over and over again. tenderly. I was over the moon and it looked like Bella was doing well. tears would have flooded my eyes as I stared in my beautiful new wife dark chocolate brown ones. although that still didn't seem a strong enough word. Charlie held her hand a moment. "I do. I tried to kiss her softly. She looked radiant. One foot in front of the other. but then placed it in mine. after I changed her. Everyone had done a wonderful job of keeping what she looked like from me. We decided to keep our vows short and simple. The minister declared up husband and wife. a long veil flowed behind her. I knew that they were on the stairs and Charlie was holding Bella tightly so she wouldn't fall. I waited as she got nearer so that I would be able to see her. Bella's hair was up. I smiled in the knowledge that she had chosen me and in a few short moments she would be all mine. She was finally mine and I was hers. The time seemed incredibly slow and I held my hand for her as they reached me. She clung to me and I had to restrain her face and pull back. I reached to her face. I smiled at her.didn't adore the idea of marriage. She kissed me so passionately I hated to end it. but they weren't tears of fear or sadness. She was beautiful. I looked beside me to see my father smiling. almost reluctant to let go. not too fast. circa 1918 with a slight modern twist. And then she was passed along to everyone and received hugs. She was smiling as well. which made much more sense since. we were married. but Bella. I followed his gaze and saw my mother. loud applause and Bella's mother's arms soon enveloped her as she was unwillingly torn from me. kick off her shoes and run to me. while I held her hand and got the congratulatory claps on the back. I knew that if I had been able. around my neck. Our guests erupted into a long. but I knew if it had been possible. And then she started to cry. "I do. she would have been crying. she probably would have.

I knew that Tanya could be very intimidating." Oh. the father of my least favorite mutt." Seth said. "Congrats guys. She had always been a little jealous of Tanya who always had somewhat of a thing for me if only because I was the one she couldn't have. for this wedding present anyway. "It's good to see things work out for you. one of the mutts interrupted us. how I loved the sound of that! I wanted to shout it from the rooftops. I pulled back and placed my hand on her shoulder. Can you forgive us? "Of course. She held me a little longer than was necessary and I saw Bella's brow furrow slightly. man." "Let me introduce you to my wife.Chapter 4 – Gesture Thanks to Alice and her wonderful planning skills our ceremony ended as the sun set and it was a spectacular August evening. For supporting Bella today. That means a lot to me. happy even. the only one who had ever refused her. as well. Angela had always been such a good friend to Bella. I knew his thoughts and he was grateful. For letting Seth come. You look well. "You're welcome." Billy said perhaps not friendly but certainly optimistically." Tanya said. should be ashamed of himself. err." "Welcome to the family. "This is my Bella. "Ah. Billy Black didn't seem to hate me so much. I felt Bella tense beside me and realized she must have guessed which one of them was Tanya. I frowned when I heard his thought. I had fought along side him only weeks ago. A line was growing so they gave us hugs again and stepped a side. "I've missed you. Jacob Black. "It's been too long. I turned to Billy and Sue. "It's nice to meet . But today. well. I was the conquest she could never conquer. Bella's friend's Angela and Ben were next in line to congratulate us." I said hugging him. Edward. Tanya. I was pleased to see them. I knew they didn't like me much and quite honestly the feeling was more than mutual." "So do you. Seth. I didn't get the chance to savor my moment long. "I'm happy for you." Seth said to me. recent incident when we did not behave as such." She said still held me." I said graciously. I was pleased to see my cousins The Denalis were sauntering up to us. with the exception of Seth who was a good kid. desperate to have just a moment with my incredible new wife. Stealing her life." Bella said nervously. He knew of my surprise for Bella and he only wished my plans worked out. at least. "Thank you. Bella. These people were the ones I least looked forward to seeing. He was accompanied by his mother and Billy Black. much more than Jessica and Mike who were next along with Jessica's parents." Tanya smiled taking Bella's hands in hers. Tanya came to me and we embraced. We should have met sooner. The tress glimmered with lights and the tent stood just a short distance from the house. I took Bella from the crowd and outside." "Thank you. "We consider ourselves Carlisle's extended family and I am sorry about the.

the more modern Michael Buble version. Slowly. now I'm going to have to hear about this from everyone for a very long time! He grumped inside my head. "Oh. She started to blush almost instantly. I grabbed the garter very carefully with my teeth and slid it down her leg to her ankle. winked and then shot it direction at Mike Newton. Edward. taking mementos of this day for Bella. Then it was time for our first dance. Slowly. I heard Emmett and Jasper hooting and hollering somewhere behind me." It was out first dance as a couple and now it was our first dance as husband and wife. (I had to continuously remind myself that this was not our honeymoon and there were guests watching us) I kissed up her leg until I found her garter. I placed Bella on a chair and whispered for her to behave herself. I placed one hand on the ground and the other on her ankle. Carmen and Elezar who call stood slightly behind Tanya. I bent before her to kneel on the ground and I took her hands in mine. waiting their turn." "We have a while. "Enjoying the party. "We'll get to know each other later. she had forgotten that piece of pizza I had eaten when we first I heard Charlie inside my head. "That will take come getting used to. the Garter toss. As I got nearer to her. I wanted to make sure she would remember this moment for the rest of eternity." I reminded her and I leaned in to kiss her while I twirled her around the dance floor. We knew that her human memory would fade slightly after I changed her. her heart raced and her breaths were quick and shallow. She played with a strand of my hair that was out of place and put her hand on my check. That was beautiful. that I managed to eat my piece with no trouble. The music changed to "Butterfly Kisses" and Charlie tapped me on the shoulder. I kissed Bella again and went to take my mother's hand to dance with her. As the music started "Fever". I sauntered over to Bella slowly. They all welcomed her graciously and moved along as to allow the other to have their turns with us. I concentrated on only her as the flash bulbs went off around us. We observed all the human traditions of photographs and cake cutting and Bella was even surprised when we took turns feeding cake to each other. Great. I pulled Bella to me. Bella threw the bouquet and Angela caught it with a panicked Ben looking on. holding her close as we glided under the lights and moonless sky. Mrs. I guess. I walked over to Emmett. I retrieved it with my hand and resurfaced. I had thought long and hard about what our first dance should be and it seemed most fitting to choose the song we had first danced to when we went to the prom the year we met." I introduced her to Kate. I kissed her on her cheek. "Flightless Bird. She laughed. carefully I raised her skirt slightly and disappeared beneath it. Can't watch this. It was time for the father – daughter dance. but not too slowly. smiling and me. I saw Bella's embarrassment and longing reflected in her eyes. seductively. I am so happy you have finally found someone and we . Cullen?" I whispered as I nuzzled her ear. I couldn't contain a smirk as I looked directly into her eyes. I kissed them both and placed them in her lap. We'll have eons of time for that!" Tanya promised with a laugh. Still my daughter and then he entered the house. I didn't want to stop my kisses but I knew Bella would be fighting for control and she must be blushing furiously by now. handed him my jacket and rolled up my sleeves like I was preparing to go fishing. Then it was time for my favorite part.

no I guess not." "Oh. "Huh?" I didn't answer. but not wanting. I started spinning her away from the lights to the edge of the dance floor and toward the forest." I had asked Seth to ask Jacob. so I walked over to cut in and reclaim my wife. "What is it?" She asked. heartbreakingly beautiful you are tonight. I pulled her into my arms and continued our dancing. I really do love her like she was my own. So beautiful. I stiffened at the sound of his voice. It wasn't easy to keep that from you though. true I did get side tracked with the unpleasantness of last year but as soon as we got you back from Italy I knew it was sonly a matter of time." I sighed and saw the glass of the window. I've been planning this from the moment I saw you with her. "She smiled." "Thank you. now it was my brow that had furrowed. "You are very biased." She said rolling her eyes. Then I heard a familiar voice that I had been expecting. if she was mine I would totally rock her world. right. After that song Bella was passed to someone else and Carlisle came to steal Esme from me." She rested her head on my shoulder." I kissed her on the cheek and saw Bella get passed to Mike Newton. I do appreciate all your love and patience with me. Or worse.couldn't be happy that it happens to be Bella. to please come and see Bella. I'm not surprised Mike's having difficulty with improper thoughts about a married woman. to hear. Everything is perfect and Bella seems like she is having a great time. so I found Alice and whirled her into my arms. I know she loves you just the same. am I?" I watch as her eyebrows rose appraising herself. I'd heard enough of Mike. "Have you had a chance to look at yourself?" "Umm. I am disappointed that Alice didn't make sure you were forced to look in a mirror. with us. I know this has been difficult on all of you. He's lucky I didn't kick him out. When I noticed Bella eyeing me I smoothed my expression. eh?" She joked as I whirled her as far away from him as I could manage. "A surprise wedding gift. Let's get this show on the road. he totally doesn't deserve her. I pointed. "Oh!" I said." "Yeah. Thank you for this. I spun her so she could see herself. and for doing it all with such a short time limit. Edward. "Biased. I knew she would appreciate seeing him. Man." She still took my breath away when I glanced at her. "Still not that fond of Mike. I'm here bloodsucker."You're silly! I didn't have limited time. you know. while in wolf form of course as Jacob had run off after Bella had picked me. "Not when I have to listen to his thoughts. "Alice you did a wonderful job. . Esme. Why?" "Then I suppose you don't realize how utterly. she looked surprised.

She was always beautiful but this was more. I see what you and Emmett have now. "Jacob!" I understood her excitement and although I knew she was my wife. . Jacob thought as I turned and walked away. Edward. but I do love you and I'm glad you are finally happy. I was going to give them their space but I would not go far and I would be monitoring their conversation. "Hey there Bells. my resolve would have been broken. I'm here for her." My mind strayed to how beautiful Bella looked tonight. I knew that even had I not made out deal to make love to her. Too bad it's human.. if nothing else. "Bella! Have you lost your mind? You can't be that stupid! Tell me you're joking. "This was very." I said into the blackness. flipping her hair as she spoke. Can I cut it? "Jacob!" Bella choked. that she had chosen me. I mean you could have fallen for that Jessica girl. "I don't mean to be a bitch." I laughed and kissed her forehead. "Jake – stop!" Seth shouted. it really is about time you found someone. She glided to me in her scintillating way." Bella stumbled into the darkness and I followed keeping my hand on her elbow until Jacob had her and enveloped her into a close. he was beyond angry. she looked unbelievable tonight. He was shaking her. Rose.kind of you. I threw Rose aside and ran as fast as I could without arousing suspicions. And I guess Bella isn't that bad.." He was screaming at her. He was imagining me on top of Bella and she was writhing in pain beneath me. I know we have never been close. I imagined when we were finally alone together. His vile. Edward. so I did need to give him credit for that. Jake! Let go!" Bella had cried."Thanks you. "Rosalie will never forgive me if she doesn't get her official turn on the dance floor." We were silent as we twirled. I must admit I hated the idea of asking the mutt for any favors. but he had kept her safe when I wasn't able." She joked. I listened to Jacob and Bella's conversation of how he was doing. Jacob thought but said instead "Kind is my middle name. Then I was suddenly ripped from my reverie." Whatever bloodsucker. when the wedding was over and done and we were on our honeymoon. begging me to stop while I continued on with my assault. See ya bloodsucker. hearing her breathe as I caressed her. She smiled and leaned her head against my shoulder. I never knew this kind of happiness existed. "Congratulations. I did see Rosalie and beckoned her to me. angry thought flooded my mind. "Thank you Rose. feeling her soft lips on my hard ones. There was that jealousy thing again. "Ow. I imagined touching her warm skin. not you. "I love you too. I still felt a twinge of jealousy in the pit of my stomach." I murmured trying to keep the hurt from my voice. tight hug. Not only was I filled with love and adoration for her. if the music hadn't been so loud everyone would probably have heard.

"It's alright now. Sam. "We need to get back to the reception before someone notices our absence. I nodded once knowing all too well that they would. "I'll kill you! I'll kill you myself. "Sam has him in hand. I knew she was panicking inside but all she cared about now was making sure she panicked no one else." "Edward. if you hurt her I will kill you. He's gone. Walk away." I knew that people were going to wonder where we had gotten to. I knew the situation was volatile and I wanted to stand.. ready to pounce if he didn't release her." Bella whispered after the last wolf. I should have brought my brothers. Jake –" She worried. I swear. bro. he was just staring at Bella. I'm sorry. "Don't do it. Let go." I said more to calm myself than to Bella." I caressed her face. was growling. Jacob finally let her go and I grabbed her and whisked her a few feet away. And then he started thinking of everything he could do to inflict pain on me. I'll do it now!" And he was shaking more now and a big black wolf. "C'mon Jake. deep into her eyes. silently pleading with her. "Seth. to fight if necessary but I had to think of Bella. My resolve was weakening by the second and I hoped that Seth would be able to talk him down. Let's go." "Now!" I snarled.I shouldn't have let him get to me like that. "Let's get back." Seth urged again. Behind Jacob there were snarls. but what if they followed? That would break up the party pretty quick. Seth stayed firm. indeed be back. standing protectively in front of her. Then they disappeared into to black once more." I hissed knowing that if Jacob phased it would be very bad for him. knowing my cool hand would begin to calm her. considering the force with which the mutt was . "You'll hurt her. Jake. but she was worked up. I never should have allowed this in the first place." Seth urged. He stared at me and thought." I soothed." But Jacob didn't move. "I have such a big mouth! Why would I. I was stupid –" "You did nothing wrong –" I tried to reassure her. Don't forget that. you hurt her and you know we will be back for you. "Jake. back away. I knew I would need to get her to safety. "But." She pleaded after a moment. Jacob was looking at me. You will hurt her. "My dress?" She looked surprisingly impeccable. He had brought backup of course. get out of the way. "I'm sorry. What was I thinking?" "Don't worry.. shaking with fury. Bella. C'mon. You filthy bloodsucker. "You're loosing it. She started to smooth her dress and her hair."Take your hands off her!" I commanded." The other wolves joined Seth now in pushing Jacob back." "Give me two seconds. "Alright.

at least it felt safe in here. "Let's not think about it again tonight. "Okay. The only thing you're allowed to think about." I whispered. "What am I thinking?" "He is not. "Jacob is way too prejudiced to see anything clearly. "Jacob is right." I sighed. never wanting to let her go." She promised." She said.. Do you hear me?" "Yes." I kissed her forehead and brushed her cheek lightly with my fingertips. Everything good." I hugged her close to me. That's the only thing that matters. what he showed me. but unscathed." "Thank you. "Should have let him kill me for even thinking. She didn't see what he saw. Let's go." "I am. surrounded by her scent. brother? Need us to go kick some ass? Emmett though hopefully. She grabbed my face in her hands." She said. I noticed my brothers. "You and me. too afraid to look into her eyes. "You look fine. I nodded once and they nodded back. What if his vision of me. "Are you –" "I'm fine. "I promise. I closed my eyes and touched my forehead to hers. but the doubts had already started to creep up on me again.shaking her. Promise me you'll let this go. I stared into her beautiful pleading eyes and there was no way I could refuse this." But she didn't know. "It's over. "Stop it." Of course I heard her." She commanded and she waited for me to look at her." She took some deep breaths and closed her eyes. so convincing when she commanded things of me. . What's wrong with me?" "Nothing is wrong with you. I smiled slightly to let them know it was all good and shook my head once to tell them to leave it alone. Not a hair out of place." I whispered as I nuzzled into her hair. the attacker would come true? What if Bella begged me to stop and I ignored her for my own pleasure? "Edward?" Her soft voice brought me back from make waking nightmare. of course they had known what was happening and they had been waiting to see if I would need their assistance.. She was so beautiful. the monster. For me. by the beating of her heart. I looked at my bride. Her face looked slightly tense. I spun her back to the dance floor. Edward. "I can't believe I did that. "Forget Jacob came. I'm not afraid." I mumbled low enough that I didn't think she could hear me. steadying herself for our return." That was a difficult request as it was all my fault that he had come in the first place.

"Don't be. A small. still making out on the dance floor. "What if it is or something very much like it?" I never took my eyes from Bella." Emmett said tapping me on the shoulder. "Go away. I leaned in and kissed her intensely. bro? That was intense with the dogs. It was awful. most tender and incredibly intense kiss we had shared to date." I smiled a half smile. "Of never having to let you go. Neither of us was paying any attention to her. He saw her beneath me. calling for me to stop and I ignored her. especially to do something like that. Edward. It's his own sick. "I could get used to this. "Do you want to miss your plane? I'm sure you'll have a lovely honeymoon camped out in the airport waiting for another flight. "Let me dance with my little sister. She smiled and leaned into me again." She cooed." She took a deep breath and pulled slightly away from me so I could see her. What was that. So help me I will. I love you. She looked like she was having an easier time forgetting Jacob than I was. But I was thinking more of this –" and she pressed herself even closer against me." I promised." She growled. do you want to wear that dress on the airplane?" She demanded. We've been over this.. Alice. Emmett probed. Edward." I turned my head slightly just enough to murmur. it's time to go." He isn't Alice." Alice called. my arms automatically tightened around her. "Don't tell me you've gotten over your dancing issues?" "Dancing isn't so bad – with you." "Never." He barked his laugh and I reluctantly relinquished my hold on her." before I returned my lips back to Bella's. "Bella. Jasper followed. After Emmett was finished dancing with her she got passed around to someone else and Emmett come to stand by me. I spun her around to face me and her face had pure joy reflected on it. "He found out we were planning to have a real honeymoon." "You're monopolizing the bride. He saw me attacking her. letting her feel all of my joy over having her as my wife. I came up from behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist. I whispered so low that no one but them could hear me. This was the sweetest. She placed her hands on my arms and leaned into me. I rolled my eyes as I was still kissing my bride. "I'll tell her where you're taking her.. Your love for her is simple too strong. This could be the last chance I get to make her blush." At that moment I strode away from my brothers and walked to my wife. involuntary gasp escaped my lips at our new closeness and her soft body couldn't get any closer to me. She smiled and she looked radiant. It isn't the future. Jasper thought. "I hope you're right. "That's why we're here. twisted mind. "Bella. "By the way.Okay that got my . his thoughts were so vile. Your love is too strong.

. She worse a beautiful deep blue V neck dress and her hair had been freed of the braids and now cascaded down her back." "You too Bells. Can't believe I'm loosing her. not knowing if she would ever see him again. Ahhh Newlyweds. "There." And then I kissed her passionately. I noticed his eyes were red. We stopped on the doorstep. You will be fine." I griped. Bella. Bella started to tear and Charlie said. she may be a vampire by then and this would be the last time she would ever see him. You don't want to miss your plane. most of them thought. I took her to her father who leaning against a wall. Don't want to be late. now. my little girl is all grown up." She snapped and took Bella's hand. hugging me and wishing us well. "You're awfully small to be so hugely irritating. "Come with me. "Call me. You can do this and everything will be wonderful. And then I saw her for the second time descending from that staircase. He thought as I brought her to him. son. "Go on then. I heard people chuckle at Bella's reluctance. She was saying goodbye to her father. "Are you ready for this?" I asked? "I am. my special occasion car and there was no occasion more special than this. always will. Dad!" She threw her arms around him while he patted her on the back." She promised. She looked nothing less than radiant and glowing. I smiled and held out my hand for her as she reached the stairs.attention. I knew this was difficult for her." I murmured. Emmett. He better make her happy. "Dad?" She asked. "Oh." "I love you forever. "I didn't pick the perfect going away ensemble to have it wasted. I pulled Bella close to me as our guests cleared to make a path for us. Emmett seemed to be taking great joy at throwing especially hard at me. So beautiful. Rosalie." "Soon. I tried to shield her from the rice. Dad. Always have. but we were ripped apart anyway. Everyone was applauding and throwing rice on our way to the Vanquish. Depending on what happened. she took it but leaned away from me." Bella resisted Alice's tug." Take care of my baby. "Over here. He put a hand on my shoulder. searching. Jasper and Esme were all suddenly at my side. My father was at my side almost immediately after Alice and Bella reached the stairs. Don't forget that." They kissed each other on the cheek.

"Rio de Janeiro?" "Another stop. I knew she didn't want to be sentenced to spending our entire honeymoon indoors because I couldn't go outside. she was wide awake and unusually alert from just having slept for such a long period. I gave up on that idea. I pulled her through the terminal to another gate so we could catch out connecting flight. Chapter 5 – Isle Esme "Houston?" Bella said surprised. watching her as dreamed. Bella woke and took me from my thoughts. turning the tables on me. We'd left later than we should. "I love you. I imagined touching her skin gently with my fingertips. my foot almost to the floor. This. knowing that Bella had slept so long and so soundly there was no way that would happen. I squeezed her hand and she looked at me. indeed. I thought.I saw Bella's face as she watched her parents disappear from view. We drove. well maybe that's what she was hoping for actually." I promised. I imagined enveloping her into my arms and holding her as my lips met hers. I knew I would never let it. I knew Bella was confused as to where we were going. I had said that Rio was only another stop. and could never do it. Maybe she would be so tired from traveling so long that I could prolong it. No. "Just a stop along the way. I pointed out landmarks as we went. And of course it wouldn't. but I was counting on the car to get us there with plenty of time to spare. The flight was long and I had all that time to worry about what would happen in the coming hours. hand in hand in the back seat through Rio. my lips gliding from her mouth to brush lightly on her cheekbone and down to the nape of her neck." I said. She looked like an angel and I hated to wake her when we arrive. put it off. I imagined touching her face. And then I imagined biting her. I pressed my foot to the floor and the sound faded into the blackness and we were alone in the moonless night. As I expected. I would never tire of. There goes my hope of her being too tired. Could life be any sweeter than this? And then we heard a pained. "That's why we're here. I knew she was worried about where I would take her for our honeymoon. Bella slept the whole way from Seattle to Houston and I watched her sleep. staring into her eyes. just a little longer. damn it! That wasn't going to happen. I gathered our luggage and hailed a taxi. devastated howl from behind us. It became clearer to her as we arrived at a dock that we were. I knew we needed to be fast to catch out plane. She leaned against my arm." I grinned. never having to leave our room. not yet done with our traveling. I knew. When we were on the plane again Bella had fallen right back asleep." She said. . Once we were on the highway I really opened her up.

I knew she expected me to take her hand. I grinned again. What a still and quiet night. "Where are we?" "This is Isle Esme. I felt Bella's heart start to accelerate and I watched her face wondering what was frightening her. I maneuvered the boat to the dock and cut the engine. I saw she was clutching the seat tightly. and that maybe she would like it so much so would let me buy something like this for her one day. I didn't know if her human eyes could see the island that had appeared in front of us. I continuously looked up to make sure she hadn't gone and fallen into the water or something." I had hoped that Bella would like it.I lead her down the dock with the luggage in tow and jumped in to put the bags down. Could she be having second thoughts about making love tonight? I decided not to say anything just then. No one could bother us here and we didn't need to hide. I would be just like Bella to find an accident which sitting absolutely still. I couldn't help but notice how beautiful she looked in the moonlight. emanating light from within her. "Bella." I called and pointed strait ahead. as comfortable as it was it would not do to be cooped up here for a few weeks." I said turning to smile at her. It looked like she was glowing. I stood in front of the wheel. she didn't even know this place existed. I took our luggage to the dock and returned for Bella. knowing that my life was perfect. It was quiet and private. "I'm nothing if not thorough. I set the suitcase down to unlock the door and waited. trying to figure it out and I knew she would never guess. I bent down to help Bella to climb into the boat. I sat Bella in one of the luxurious leather seats as I prepared the boat for our departure. whenever we wanted and never be disturbed on the expansive island. Was it possible that she could be even more beautiful that she was just a few days ago? I knew Bella was full of nervous anticipation at where we were headed and I knew she would be reviewing geography in her head. holding her firmly to me. I would wait to see what would happen. I wanted her to look at me. the moon illuminating the silvery sand and a small view of a large estate thorough the palms. feeling the wind in my hair. my wife. The only sounds were the water lapping gently at the boat and the sound of Bella's heartbeat. but I smiled at her as I scooped her up into my arms. I could see the palm trees lightly swaying in the breeze. guiltily I hoped that it would be different after I changed her. look there." I said as I walked into the darkness towards the house. "Isle Esme? "A gift from Carlisle – Esme offered to let us borrow it. to know what I . "Aren't you supposed to wait for the threshold?" She whispered a little breathless. I was finally alone with my Bella." I glanced at her and grinned. "Are we going much further?" I knew she was hoping that this boat was not the destination itself. We could do whatever we wanted her. "About another half hour. I always forgot that she didn't like speed like I did.

"It's a little hot here." I said apologetically. This is the kind of beach you approve of. bare to the night. "I'll." "Sounds nice. I decided to dive right it. looking around her surroundings. but I was trying to take every precaution I could think of.It was a long journey" She nodded and I brushed my lips against her throat. soft sand. of course.. down the stairs." I started." I walked slowly. I saw a tree nearby the water. yup twenty-five degrees.that would be best. trying to ease the situation. or may not.if maybe you would like to take a midnight swim with me?" I took a deep breath to calm myself. I found Bella near the bed. I reached the bags and grabbed them. She swallowed loudly from in front of me. afraid to take her through the door. It was a swim. Well. maybe turning on the air conditioning would be a good idea.." She jumped at being called her new name. I removed my shoes and socks and placed them neatly at the base of the palm. "I'll meet you in the water. The moonlight illuminated the large king sized canopy bed. flipping on as many lights as I could find. one step at a time. As I reached for my boxers..loved her. My feet touched the water and it felt soothing. As I had already divested myself of my shirt. "Don't be too long Mrs. hold for us. I stopped at the last room. I put Bella on her feet. Cullen. which was draped with soft looking mosquito netting. I chuckled at her as she shivered slightly. I thought that maybe if it was bright in here she could be somehow less scared. thinking about what the evening may. a perfect spot for my remaining clothes.." if. It was our bedroom. just below her ear.. "I'm sure you would like a human minute. I chuckled and realized that it sounded strained and a little nervous. I would be fine with that too. but if she told me 'no' or stopped me. I removed my shirt and let it fall to the floor just before I reached the doors. I steadied myself and walked through the door. flipping on the very last light. he voice breaking slightly. I thought as I removed my last stitch of clothing. Was this just the normal nerves or was she rally rethinking our deal? I decided that I would not back out. apparently it was for teenage vampire males as well. I walked to her and caressed the back of her warm neck with my cool fingers. I brushed my lips to her through again. I undid the zipper on my pants and slid them down. It was normal for human girls to be nervous about their first time being intimate." "Thorough. for me. she had nothing to fear.. folding them and hanging them on the tree. Returning upstairs. it had a long glass window and all white walls. Large and airy. feeling all the anticipation that had been building in me. this was it." I confessed. Although I knew Bella was nervous I knew that it was not second thoughts she was having.go get the luggage.. The air was fresh and clear ad I made my way to the waters edge. a realization hit me. I checked the thermostat on my way up the stair. This would be the first time that I would see Bella naked and the first time she would see me. hoping it might calm my .." She said. I didn't look back as I walked out into the warm. just for a bit. When she did finally look at me I carried her over the threshold and through the whole house. especially if she wanted to back out of our deal. nothing more than that. that her body had emanated. all of me. "The water will be very warm..." I strode past her to the doors that led from our bedroom to the beach. a little warm I knew. I doubt she even noticed." She murmured. "I thought. "I was wondering if. I got a sudden thrill and twinge of nerves at the same time. or two. "I tried to think of everything that would make this.easier.

beautiful. I bent my face to her slowly and gently touched my lips to hers. My hand found its way to her face. She moved herself closer into me and I gasped at the feeling of her breasts pressed so hard into me. so as not to break the skin." I wrapped my arms around her holding her to me. She shivered slightly. My body coursed with electricity. wrapping both her hands in my hair. I would wait until she came to me. her second thoughts had disappeared. I stood with my back to the house. "But. My lips found hers and then her cheek and then her ear. tense knowing the time was very close. I kept my eyes locked with hers so she could feel more comfortable. tonight. to know that I wasn't there to ogle just her body. I nibbled ever so gently." I moaned and she threw her arms around my neck as I grabbed around her waist. I was her husband and she was my wife and we loved each other and that was all that mattered I pulled her close to me and looked deep into her chocolate brown eyes.." I heard her say of the moon. to drink in her beautiful figure. "Forever. but I restrained myself. "If. she would need me to reassure her. I needed to be strong. I held out a hand for her." I whispered. to her collar bone. feeling it dance across them. so long ago. I put my hand on her chest to feel her heart beating. "Bella. Then.. waiting for her to unwrap one arm from her chest so I could intertwine our fingers together.nerves. It was almost time to make good on my promise to her. I closed my eyes for a moment wanting to savor the feel of her heart under my hand. if I hurt you. . I heard her heart beat and I knew she was on the beach. something I'd felt in biology class while we watched that movie. It gave me a thrill of excitement to know that we were both without clothes and this close to each other. She carefully removed one arm from her chest and put her hand in mine and we held each others hand under the water. "It's all right. She was completely uncovered now and I tried not to stare at her glorious body. all I could see was her bare midriff. knowing Bella wouldn't be long now. if she wanted it. My lips made their way down her neck." "Don't be afraid. since her arms were draped across her to hide her breasts modestly. it was hard to take on that role if i was not calm myself. I brushed her cheek with my fingers." She smiled and finally removed the one arm that had been covering herself. she looked happy and she looked ready. She stood before me. I decided right there and then my internal doubts were over. to give her some privacy. She placed her free hand on my chest where my heard used to beat. "I promised we would try. I placed my palms on top of the water. knowing there would be plenty of time for that." I agreed and that was the last of our conversations for that evening. Not with you standing here in comparison. I shuttered at her warm touch and her magnificence. I wouldn't use the word. "We belong together." I said as I turned to her. She looked incredible in the moonlight. you must tell me at once. I swam near the ocean floor for a time. The fire started to burn hotter then. My hand traveled to her hair and stroked the long stands. I kissed and caressed and she moaned. to calm her. It was excited. Bella wanted me and I wanted her. checking every now and then to see if Bella had made her way to the beach. After a time I found my way to waist deep water. I wanted to turn around." She murmured looking into my eyes and I could tell it was not fear I detected in her heartbeat anymore. but I knew she wasn't cold.if I do something wrong. leaving a trail of kisses. "Beautiful. it was longing and I knew that this was going to happen.

she was blushing and I had to kiss her then. Mrs. I looked down and saw her legs were pressed together." I said as I touched her face. contouring the shape of her breasts. down her waist and over her hips and between her legs. I haven't finished playing yet.I could feel my urgency growing for her. between her beautiful breasts and down her stomach. She stared directly into my eyes and I could see all the urgency that I felt for her reflected back at me. when she felt me there she parted them a little too willingly. She rolled onto her elbow to look at me. Pausing on her perfect stomach my tongue traced her belly button and she squirmed. she was simply angelic. I stood for a moment to look at her. I bent. She was magnificent. gently touching it to her and she . We kissed all the way back to our room. Cullen?" I asked. She reached down and put her hand in my hair. From her belly button my lips traveled down and found first her left thigh. white bedcovers. the fire seemed to grow stronger with every step I took. the smell nearly drove me from my mind. "Not yet. Bella threw her head back in delight as I hoisted her up with her legs on either side of my hips. Her sweet scent was so strong and lovely. She looked so innocent just laying there. it was like her body was calling to me and I could resist no longer. licking and softly sucking as I went. I knew I had to have it. It drove me wild. burning from within me. My lips found her core. they seemed to go on for miles. I just wanted to look at you. Maybe pleasing her would not be so difficult after all. "Are you ready for take this inside. I started at her lips and trailed down her neck until I found those beautiful breasts of hers. She groaned and I stiffened. Then. the only part of me that she could easily reach. I grabbed one in my hand and kneaded it slowly while I guided her other one into my mouth and started to roll her nipple around with my tongue. my love. I don't even know if she noticed that we were inside until I slowly laid her on the soft. I held Bella on her small round buttocks with one hand while opening the door with the other. She pushed herself closer to lick and suck my earlobe. "You're beautiful. I placed myself between her open legs. my love. afraid I had hurt her. truly incredible. She caught my face in both her hands and kissed me more passionately than she ever had. but of pure pleasure. her neck. As my hands reached her waist I shimmed down to position myself and placed my hands on either side of her hips. I slowly reached my free hand down allowing my fingertips to trail down her side. I stuck out my tongue. waiting for me to join her. balancing my hands on either side of her head to kiss her lips." I didn't wait for a reply. she was not a tall girl but as she lay her like this." I said climbing slowly onto the bed next to her. I knew that there was giant bed awaiting us on the other side of those doors. and knelt above her. I pulled away and she looked puzzled. The moonlight danced across her sweet face. I don't know how I got so lucky. Who knew this kind of pleasure existed? I pulled back from her slightly to look into her eyes. I thought. letting my hands trail down her check. someone was getting impatient. I thought. With one hand still on her breast. She opened her eyes and looked at me. illuminating her wonderfully luscious breasts with their perfect nipples. to finally allow myself to drink her body in. "Edward? Is there something wrong?" "No. I looked at her face but it was not a face of pain. I continued my trail of kisses downward. nothing is wrong. then her right. her flat stomach and her long legs. slowly licking and sucking.

I could hear her heart speeding up. together." She put her hand encouragingly on my face and kissed my nose. I continued to enter her slowly. I wanted to wake her. "I think we're fine now. the first time. don't stop. I began to thrust in and out of her. Edward." And that was all I needed to hear. The fire was beginning to grow within me now. trying to put me inside her. pulling me to her. We will need to go slow. I felt myself go stiff as she trailed one hand from my face down to my chest. I looked down at her blushed body and marveled that she didn't just blush on her face. I collapsed on top of her. but all over her body as well. inch by inch. whatever it was. she looked at me obligingly and raised her hips to meet me. I was almost fully engulfed when I heard Bella's moan of pleasure from beneath me and I nearly lost control. I paused at her opening. fourth and fifth bruise that I really started to get concerned. "Bella?" I asked urgently. I was fully inside her when she finally spoke. She sounded asleep and she looked asleep. what if her slumber was just an act? A ruse before she could run away from me screaming. I remember kissing Bella and her murmuring it was wonderful and she loved me. "It's okay. not sure of my speed. I felt the strongest urge to bite something. It's just. it was so fast. but it wasn't bad. The blood didn't even phase me. Would she hate me in the morning? . digging my fingers into her hips. Oh how wrong I was. She seemed fine. I pulled away slightly. It was about two in the morning when I noticed the first bruise start to appear on her skin. to see how badly I had hurt her. happy. It's fine. I couldn't control it. the sound was seductive. didn't breathe. It wasn't until I noticed the third. Maybe she was too terrified of me and pretended. But. She kissed me so deeply I was taken by surprise. I did it again and again in more rapid succession. Slowly I entered her only slightly and the fire inside me was heaven. groping. "Have I hurt –". her back arching. but who knew. shocked. pleading. I need you. Edward. there was a little blood. but didn't move. I wasn't worried. I didn't know how it could be beating so fast. I could smell it now. Edward. Edward. Finally she bucked her hips against me and called my name. enticing. But everything about that is very blurry. holding her to me. no. I slowed my tongue and when her panting and heat beat returned to normal I reluctantly left my new favorite spot and returned to Bella's face. exhausted from our night together. I could feel her heat and her urgency flowing through me as her moans became louder and more prolonged. still thrusting and bit the first thing I could find. a pillow possibly. She fell asleep. but I could also tell she wanted me to continue. it hardly even hurts. She looked at me with her big brown eyes. shaking and panting. Really. I heard Bella gasp and I froze. I knew this was a bad idea. Slowly I lowered myself to her." With that I inched into her again and I could tell she was trying not to cry out. and downward. I'm ready. "No." I kissed her lips. figuring she might like a kiss and some time to come down from her high. "Please. As my teeth sunk into. I think. I heard Bella moan louder and growl my name seductively and that sent me over the edge and we both lay there.moaned. it was the scent of her urgency that was affecting me now. I brought my face to hers and she grabbed it. Had I already hurt her? My mind was racing and I looked at her face.

I dreaded when she would wake up and discover what I had done. suddenly sullen. "Don't ever say that!" I kept my eyes closed. Bella? The truth – don't try to downplay it. It was two pillows and now not only was Bella covered in bruises but we were both covered in down feathers. I was afraid my nightmare was about to come true.. I wanted to prolong the inevitable for as long as possible. seemingly confused. "Why would you jump to that conclusion? I've never been better than I am now. but she didn't open her eyes. but every time I touched her to remove one she would stir. "Edward. I looked for the source of what I had bitten. she would surely feel that. I gently trailed my fingers up and down her spine." There was a moment and then she gasped." I closed my eyes and took a calming breath. this is the moment she would leave me. enjoying her company before she realized what kind of monster I really was. This was it." "Stop what?" "Stop acting like I'm not a monster for having agreed to this. I didn't want to wake her if she really was asleep. wondering when the screaming would begin.I sat there all night watching more and more bruises appear on her beautiful skin. still trailing my fingers on her back. Great now I'd hurt her and I was starving her. I vowed that is by some miracle she woke up and didn't run from me I would never inflict this on her again. What the hell kind of husband was I? "You can't escape being human for very long. "What's funny?" I murmured. I loved her so much. "Look at yourself Bella. I had done this to her. I felt her stretch all of her muscles and flex. Then tell me I'm not a monster. I just waited. "Stop that. but so far no fear. I only hoped I didn't break anything. did nothing. I felt her blush against my chest and then I heard her stomach growl." She giggled again but I said nothing." "Edward!" She cried and I heard tears welling up in her. "How badly are you hurt. and I was right. . As Bella slept I tried to pull feathers from her hair. surveying her own damage. Her voice was angry when she spoke again." She choked. "What are you thinking?" I asked afraid of what her answer might be. I didn't want to see the look on her face when she finally saw what I had done to her. "What is it? What's wrong?" "You have to ask?" Could she really not feel what I'd done to her? The bruises must be painful.?" her voice caught. "You're upset. Did I.. I don't understand." "Hurt?" she asked. It was late morning before Bella finally awoke. Her arms suddenly tightened around my neck and I heard her giggle. I saw lines of worry appear on her forehead and I soothed them with my finger. What if I had broken a bone. I knew she had awoken. I was the monster that I so feared. "Why am I covered in feathers?" Confusion gripping her voice.

I am.I can't even tell you. she knew that it wouldn't make me happy to know that she was mad.well. Would I ever be able to understand the way her mind worked? "Why?" "Because all this angst would be completely unnecessary if you could see how I feel right now! Or five minutes ago. "I'm. trying to get me to look at her but I didn't budge. "I bit a pillow." "No. "You should be angry at me. "I. Does that make you feel better?" I sighed. Happy.. "I'm not sorry. "Cut it out. Edward. I'm sort of pissed actually. "Edward. I'm." She waited.. wrapping her fingers around my wrist. I removed my arm to look into her eyes. but I was still motionless. Don't be angry. I don't think anything could make me feel better now." ." "Not today. Don't I'm really f –" "Don't say the word fine. I'm so happy. "Don't. realization washing over her." "Well." she said. I growled. I should not have –". Now. stretching her arm in front of her. "I am more sorry than I can tell you. "Look at that!" "Oh. I was perfectly happy." She whispered "Bella." She said.I exhaled. trying to make me feel better for what I had done. "If you value my sanity. Edward. too ashamed to have her see me." she snapped and I grinded my teeth together chewing back my retort. You don't." I threw my arm over my eyes." "You bit a pillow? Why?" "Look. "I knew better than this." I stared at her. after I hurt her. She touched my arm. Here I was a monster and she was apologizing. "Why can't you just read my mind already? It's so inconvenient to be a mental mute!" My eyes widened in surprise.or two." "That!" She snapped. Totally and completely blissed out. anyway. "Ugh!" She huffed.." I said icily. "That right there is why I'm angry. Am. Bella." I heard my voice as it caught in my throat." "But I am. That's not what I'm talking about.. "That's a new one. mad at me no less. "Don't ruin this. "Edward?" She said again. Bella!" I snarled and took her hand gently. That doesn't cover it." "I've already ruined sorry. do not say that you are fine." I could tell she was really angry now. Edward. You're killing my buzz." I groaned. You love that I can't read your mind." I whispered... angry with myself. "No.

." Her voice fell to a dull whisper and she took her eyes away from mine and looked at her hands as she fidgeted. "I didn't dream that you would construe the way I feel about what I did to you to mean that last night wasn't. I was angry.. really. simply because I forgot that it was to be human. "It seems that I have more to apologize for. I can't imagine that life gets any better than that. "I spoke to Carlisle after you and I made our bargain. "I mean.She took a deep breath and tried to soothe me. she was more than I could have ever dreamed possible." She said brushing her bruised arm with her delicate fingers. still fidgeting with her hands in her lap. Second only to drinking human blood. not knowing what to expect. "Assumed? Did you expect this Bella? Were you anticipating that I would hurt you? Were you thinking it would be worse? Do you consider it a success because you can walk away from it? No broken bones – that equals a victory?" She didn't speak for what seemed like an eternity. probably waiting for me to calm down. I placed one of my icy fingers to her warm chin and raised her head to look at me... Just that it was different for us... Is that what you're worried about? That I didn't enjoy myself?" Even thought I lifted her head her eyes still didn't look at me. not when you were. And then – well." I frowned and she started to protest but I put my finger to her lips so she would allow me to finish. Something more. livid. like nothing else.." And then her eyes started to well with tears. then starve her. I just was trying to explain that. Carlisle told me it was a very powerful thing. we did amazing. was all I could think." I said frowning.. prefect in everyway. you're not human. "I think for a first time. hoping he could help me.. no. He told me physical love was something I should not treat lightly. "I know it's not the same. I thought that was assumed. I melted as I looked at her. but it was like that for me.. With a little practice –" she broke off as she took in my expression. "I didn't know what to expect – but I definitely didn't not expect how. I very possibly just ruined something that was very special to her. "Really? The best ever?" I took her face in my hands stroking her cheeks lightly with my thumbs. He had faith in me though . more than angry. for a human." . She really wasn't mad at me after all. She'd assumed I would hurt her and she still did it anyway. They told me it was a very great pleasure. I was never happier than I was with her. I don't want to think of it that way.I don't think they were wrong. First I hurt I didn't deserve. Oh God was there no end to my torture of her. it was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I don't know how it was for you. "I spoke to my brothers. "I also asked him what I should expect. Of course he warned me this could be very dangerous for you. as she felt like I hadn't enjoyed myself making love with her. "We knew this was going to be tricky. again." And I couldn't finish my sentence because she smirked her sweet smile that always melted my icy well.what with my being a vampire. strong emotions can alter us in permanent ways. But. And this is really nothing. With out rarely changing temperaments. not for hurting her at least. just wonderful and perfect it was.. I didn't know what it would be for me. now I make her cry because she thinks she hadn't adequately pleasured me? That was so far from the truth. She really wasn't going to flee from me with any of the feared running or screaming.well. But I've tasted your blood and there could be no blood more potent than that. But he said that I did not need to worry about that part – you had already altered me so completely. the best night of my existence." I smiled this I knew was true." Oh crap..

"Or when I said 'I do' and I realized that I somehow get to keep you forever. so I was able to ignore her advances. James."It was more. Her beautiful body was littered with bruises. "You listen to me. was all I could think. I had done that to her.Not when I heard your voice in the ballet studio. waiting for me. looking nothing like she had last night. or the first morning I woke up and you were there. the list went on and on in my head. ." I said. She was beautiful as always. She slid from the bed. I stood up quickly." "That doesn't change the fact that it was wrong." "Whatever." I muttered. but she continued on." She was frowning and I touched my finger to the crease that appeared between her eyebrows. Victoria. It was everything. Even if it were possible that you really did feel that way. There's no sense in letting my mood sour this time for you.. I can't ignore the evidence. having forgotten about the first time her stomach growled. her stomach betrayed her and growled loudly. however. I couldn't even breathe. okay? I didn't even know there was a reason to make you feel better until you started being all miserable. leaving her." I thought of what it would have meant if it had been Bella I had bitten. I've never been so happy in all my life – I wasn't this happy when you decided that you loved me more than you wanted to kill me. staring into my eyes. I heard her groan and I rushed to her side to see what was wrong.. The past is past and I can't do anything to change it. "You're hungry. watching as the feather stirred in the air." Every mistake I'd every made with her raced through my mind. just deal with it. She grabbed my face and pulled my face close to hers. "So. "We're lucky it was the pillows and not you. "Bella?" "I'll never get this out of my hair!" She pointed to the tangle of white and brown that was her hair. I gasped and turned my back to her. That's the only this that's wrong her. forbidding her from seeing the mutt. I don't want to do that. allowing her to see the mutt. So. believing Rosalie and going to Italy when I thought she was dead." "What does that mean? Do you think I'm making this up? Why?" "To ease my guilt. why exactly did you decided to ruin Esme's pillows?" She joked. trying to relieve it of the white down that stuck in it." "Then don' you be unhappy. but it was me who make all those mark on her skin. Those are the happiest memories I have and this is better than any of it. "Do I look that hideous?" She asked lightly. it takes to make me happy?" She tried to ask seductively." I flinched as the images of Bella screaming on the floor entered my mind. trying to draw me in with her charms. "I don't know that I decided to do anything last night." I blinked quickly and took a large intake of breath that I didn't need and sighed. I quickly shook the thought from my mind and tried very hard to smile. Bella or your history for letting me off the hook when I make mistakes. Edward Cullen. shaking her long beautiful hair. "You're right. "I'm making you unhappy. walking into the bathroom. I am not pretending anything for your sake. I'll do whatever I can to make you happy.

that's how I got into this mess in the first place.. I'll have to ask them to deal with the feathers. pick up groceries and make the breakfast. I'm going to have to try to wash it out. thinking that this could work. knowing that I was the one who was ridiculous. but I knew it was at least edible. Carlisle kept someone on staff for the cleaning so I ask them to pick up the ordinary groceries. that we might actually be able to have a normal sex life. no point in temptation. Bella would have those bruises for days. I could tell she was upset with me again but there was no way I was going to allow anything more to happen for fear the results could be worse. watching as she devoured the food.." I let me little secret out. "This isn't going to work. Because of me. smiling and handed her the plate." I stared at a space above her head. more than a little disappointed." "Food network. A first. I found some eggs. "You aren't going to touch me again while we're here." I mumbled and made my way to the door quickly. leaning forward to kiss me. are you?" She accused. "I asked the cleaning crew to stock the kitchen. She took the plate and went to sit down. I heard Bella coming down the stairs and plopped the ready omelet onto a plate. "How did you keep from laughing at this? I look ridiculous. for this place. I made my was downstairs to check what we had in the house. "Here. a constant reminder of the monster I so dreaded being. she looked ravenous. plucking much faster. This is really good. Even with her body all marked like this." I said.. It had been difficult to ignore her naked body while she was facing into the mirror but it was even more difficult while she was pressing herself into me again." I kept picking at the feathers. I kissed her back and then pulled away quickly. Impressive. I turned. knowing that I was fast." She smiled and turned to grab me around the waist. What might have happened if those pillows hadn't been there? "Thank you. "Where did the food come from?" She asked. but my mind kept flashing back to the images of last night. "I'd better go find some food for you. instead I lifted one hand and . the look of pure pleasure perched upon her face. "I'm not feeding you enough.. she was still incredible and I did still want her. by the way. She swallowed and pointed out. Bella's beautiful body arching in the moonlight. determined not to ruin this day anymore for Bella." she said. but there was no way I had the time to run out. There had never been any need for food in this house. starting to eat while it was still burning hot. It's all dried in." I said with a frown."You would be worried about you hair. She sighed. " I mumbled striding over to her as she started to pick them out and I started to help. I had no idea if it tasted okay and I really couldn't do any taste testing to find out. bacon and cheddar cheese and tried to concentrate on making Bella an omelet. I thought bout that for a moment trying to formulate a response. I re-adjusted the look on myself into a smile from my scowl. you had a lot of time on your hands when you didn't need to sleep. for someone who doesn't eat. "Do you want to help me?" She asked seductively.No! I couldn't think like that. "I was asleep.

stroked her warm cheek with my icy fingers. I sighed and removed my hand from her cheek. At first she wore just her normal t-shirt to bed. I will not make love with you again until you've been changed. looking out at the setting sun and the sun danced on her face and her luscious wavy chocolate brown hair flowed past her shoulder. I wouldn't risk her life or her beautiful body ever again. removing her top and marveling at the beauty that was her body. Keeping her busy was as much to have her mind of our intimacy as it was for me to keep my mind off of her.) I would have to have a word with Alice when we arrived back home. And underneath the gown she wore a very. It didn't work well for either of us. We swam mostly everyday and Bella seemed to have an endless supply of skimpy swim suits. with a peaceful serene look perched on her face. but every time she made her advance and I turned her down. I tried desperately not to notice. frozen on the bed. She stood before me in something that should be illegal. I sat. She looked incredible and it was getting increasingly difficult to remain resolved. The small strings sat at her neck and across her back and I could imagine pinching one string and pulling it. very small thong panty. but by the look on her face. Her resolve was strong. pulling then higher (if possible) and closer together while allowing her nipples to peek through underneath. Tonight was different. the light from the bathroom shining like a spot light. "You know that's not what I meant. were my hand were." As I said the words I knew what she was thinking. There were two slits up either side of the negligee. letting it fall into my lap. see through baby doll nightie. The bathing suit (or pieces of cloth that barely covered her incredible body) that she wore today was the deep shade of blue that I so loved on her. And you're right. Bella was talking an unusually long time in the bathroom." And we both knew she was right. I felt my resolve weakening. It was a black. and having Bella playing with the sea turtles and dolphins (I had to stay away from her or all the sea creatures would disappear. I will never hurt you again. allowing . tried desperately to pretend that they didn't affect me. There could be no way that it could happen again. Every night we would return back home and I would cook for her and she was always so hungry she finished every last bite. And there she stood. she would want me to change her all that much sooner. to torture me with. lacy. The empire waist accentuated her breasts. a half smile perched on my lips. Lately she started dressing in the lingerie that Alice had packed for her. her leg jetting out from underneath the thin material. My eyes traveled down to her waist where a sarong was wrapped around. "I know it's not. not sure what to say or do. swimming. But. driving me crazy. each one more enticing than the last. I was about to go and see if she was all right when the door opened. not because I could read her mind. at times like this when we were sitting on this cliff. Chapter 6 – Distractions We spent almost a week here and I had kept the days very busy exploring the island. but she had usually just passed out from exhaustion without too much of a fight. my arms wrapped tightly around her waist that my mind and my eyes wandered.

I won't make deals with you." Was all I could manage. "You would wait. nineteen. That's worth hurting you.eighteen." She said still trying to play at innocent. word-for-word what I had tried to tell her months ago.. You always do. I thought to myself. Sure. "It doesn't matter. realized that my eyes were indeed a little wide. It's really not such a big difference." She said. I wanted her and I wanted all of her. but I did try not to allow my eyes to bug out of my head.. Those last words were almost exactly." "It doesn't matter.. but honestly. but it actually came out unbelievably seductive." "I want to go to college. "What do you think?" She meant to ask all innocent. She sighed loudly. I could keep her cool on these hot and humid nights. It's not like I'm going to get crows feet in the next year. but that couldn't have been further from the truth. Whenever I had the change to know what she was thinking or to give her something (with the expectation of just one thing) I would jump at it. what is it you wanted?" I asked. I'm not sure how well I held my expression together. one semester of college probably wouldn't kill me. "All right. "I'll make you a deal." I pondered this a while. it might be embarrassing if I can't keep up with all the brainiacs. And there is nothing that is worth risking your life again. "You look beautiful." . You would stay human. all of the time. She climbed into bed and I could tell she really was exhausted at least I wouldn't have to resist her advances for long." Dangit." "You haven't even heard what I'm offering.oh well. Thongs were wonderful things. she was risking her safety just to be with me. she would soon be asleep. Bella was willing to stay human and go to school. sighing and rolling my eyes. or my jaw to hit the floor. something I desperately wanted for her. pausing slightly so I had a perfect view of her buttocks. "Charlie would get a thrill out of Dartmouth stories I bet. And I really wanted." And I was angry. She looked at me innocently and turned all the way around. "Why are you doing this to me? Isn't it hard enough without all this?" I said gritting my teeth and grabbing a handful of neglishee. "Well I was thinking." The last time I had made a deal with her hadn't worked out very well. I know she thought that I had no interest in her physically at this point. It took everything and I mean everything I had not to run to her and throw her on the bed right then. trying not to stare at her and not succeeding. "Thanks.. She cuddled into me. all to have another night with me or a number or nights. Still. I know that the whole Dartmouth thing was just supposed to be a cover story. My temperature was finally good for something." She said bitterly." Damn it! I hated when she did this! She knew I couldn't resist taking the bait. I cleared my throat and blinked. "I will not make any deals with you." "No you don' absurdly good view of her tops of her thighs and her hips which were almost bare..

" "I haven't been tossing? That's weird. you know. Bella. Usually I'm all over the bed when I'm having nightmares. "You are so human. Well. Haven't we had this argument a million times." "What's that? "Guess." It was official. I would never understand how her mind worked." I said laughing. "That couldn't be part of your scheme or anything. what was she so worried about that she was having nightmares. you always begging to be a vampire. I have a reason to be human that I didn't have before.well. Ruled by your hormones." "You've been having nightnares?" This upset me. pondering. If it weren't for the snoring I'd worry you were slipping into a coma. but. I don't want to wait through years of being a blood crazed new born for some part of this to come back to me. kept her going all day long. Usually when I'm dreaming." This surprised me and I halted my serenade.. "What is frightening you?" . "I wonder why I'm so tired. it's not college so much as it is that I want – I want to be human a little longer. With these I don't know I'm asleep. Of course she knew why I kept our days to jam packed." "Colors?" "It's all so bright and real." She muttered sarcastically." "What are they about?" "Different things – but the same. you'd think I'd sleep better. It makes them scarier." "You are making me insane. "That's the whole point. They make me so tired. she would see that she had a chance and she would never let go." She tried to stifle her yawn and I smiled at her. "You're tired. because of the colors. "For as tired as I've been. Sleep." I chuckled and continued to hum. love. Bella. "Yes. I like this part of being human." She said leaning over to kiss me." I was worried now and hugged her close to me. You haven't said a single word in your sleep since we got here. I couldn't let her see any of that or she would make me loose my resolve. Bella. I slowly pulled away from our kiss and held her close to me. And shouting. "Vivid ones." I started to hum the lullaby I wrote for her when we'd met. I don't want to give it up yet. and I could barely contain my passion for her. when I'd finally realized I loved her and there would be no staying away from her. Edward. I know that I am. "I can't believe I haven't been babbling about them all night. And it would continue like that until I changed her. "You've been sleeping like the dead.. I did kiss her back."But I do want to go." She explained yawning widely again.

. My poor Bella and her nightmares. trying to protect her from her mind. .. "They aren't going to bother us anymore. "Mostly. of course. I kissed her head and muttered. "What's wrong?" I asked. "Do you want to go home?" "No. tears flooding from her eyes. Some are nice. Her breathe came in loud. It was early morning when Bella startled me.I felt her shudder beside me and I could tell the memories of her nightmares were flooding back. sweetheart?" She gasped again." She rebuffed." I tried to soothe by stroking her hair. Underwater. "They're just dreams." She paused for a long moment and my impatience was evident when I next spoke. "What can I do to help?" Concern clouded my voice. "Do you want me to sing to you? I'll sing all night if it will keep the bad dreams away. "Sweet Dreams. You'll be immortal soon and they'll have no reason. like she couldn't get enough air.. with the first and the coral.." I sighed and started humming." "They're not all bad. "Bella?" She was shaking uncontrollably now and my arms tightened automatically around her." She whispered the name. It all seems like it really happening – I don't know when I'm dreaming.. no. What could I do for her? That was one of the positive things that would come out of me changing her. I could certainly comfort her for that. like it would somehow summon them if she spoke it too loud." She managed to choke between gasps. quick gasps. "When does the semester start? I wasn't paying attention before. never would she dream either. I thought." I watched her as she slept seemingly peaceful. my love. "Mostly?" "The Volturi.. Maybe this island is the problem." Great. so I hopefully wouldn't wake her but would lull her into sleep. Bella. I hugged her closer still to me." She didn't say anything and worry was still painted on her face. "It was only a dream. So much for my wishes of good dreams. "Are you all right. and I felt her slip into sleep. not yet. My choice of honeymoon destination was giving my wife nightmares. I continued to hum and trail my fingers along her arm gently. I would and I wished I knew how. I thought. I could tell she hadn't told me the whole truth. It's really bright here. Edward. unsure of what to do for her. but if it involved the Volturi. "Bella!" I was panicked now. Can't we stay a little while longer?" "We can stay as long as you want.colorful. If I could take away all her bad dreams and nightmares from her. Bella would never have to endure another nightmare. whipping tears from her face as fast as they could fall. panic gripping her voice. She gasped.

especially when she was this upset. could I really deny her? I knew the answer was a resounding no.. Of course I wanted her. such need that I was almost overcome. no. "And?" I said after she continued to stare at me. I needed her to stop crying. Please." "Tell me. Edward. but was it worth the risk? She was clearly hurting emotionally. grasping her shoulders gently. I wiped more tears from her eyes. She kissed me with such passion. Bella. "Did you have another nightmare? It wasn't real." Nope. I pulled her head away from my shoulder and looked into her pleading eyes for just a moment before I succumbed to her. "No." Was all I could manage to say. She looked defeated and dejected. Her arms dropped from my neck down to her sides. Did she not realize how this tortured me too? "Please. you're fine. rocking her in my arms. I looked into her eyes with concern and confusion. . She kissed me back and I could tell she was waiting for the time when I would push her away again. Take deep breathes." I pleaded." She said shaking her head. I wanted.." More tears exploded from her eyes again." She cried. "It was a good dream."It's ok. I pulled her tightly to me. I hated not knowing what she was thinking." "Not a nightmare. it wasn't real. But she didn't say anything. Bella. I would never. but I simply couldn't allow myself to hurt her again. I'm here. desperately wanting to know what had her in such a state. I can't. one I wasn't used to. I was at a disadvantage with her." I moaned.. "We were on the beach. I chuckled at her logic." "Tell me what it was about." I soothed. I simply couldn't deny her when she needed me so badly. love. She wrapped her arms around my neck and attacked my mouth. with such urgency. "Oh." I pressed. maybe it will help. but firm." She said pulling away from me so I could see her tear stained puffy eyes. I brought her face to mine and kissed her lightly. Bella. "Then why are you crying?" "Because I woke up. and she was begging me to help her. She was crying and shaking beneath me and I didn't know what to do. I struggled with myself for a moment and then pushed her away. "I can't. She wrapped her arms around my neck. pulling me to her. which if I needed to breathe would have been a problem and continued to cry and shake. I wanted it to be real. gently I wiped away her tears with my thumbs slowly caressing her face. only I knew I wouldn't and she needed to know that I wouldn't." "It was so real. hating this push and pull. "I'm s-s-sorry. ever be able to understand her mind. Bella.. my need for her climbing. Edward?" She pleaded as I held her as close to me as I could. "Everything's all right.

She took my hair in her hands and started to move back and forth on my lap. to help guide her and she wrapped her arms around my neck and started to whimper in my ear. And then there was the fire that was growing and growing. laying half on top of her. but she obviously wanted up. her hair whipped behind her. now. I could see her. hidden slightly in the black material. Please. This was a very good position. I leaned back against the headboard to try and calm down a little bit. Her arms wrapped tighter around my neck and her kisses were rough and urgent. the skimpy material was coming off. I thought. driving me crazy. My mouth found her neck and I licked and kissed and carefully ran my teeth across her skin. I wouldn't push her away her away. that I wouldn't be stop her. but it had the opposite effect. That's when I lost it. And suddenly." I moaned and my hands were all over her body as she rocked on top of me. I pulled up and off of her." My lips and tongue found the hallow of her neck and I started licking and sucking and her hand wrapped tightly in my hair. pulling her face closer to mine. I heard Bella's moans growing deeper and her breath coming faster and I knew she was close and I knew I was close and I knew that I had to hold off until after she was there first. I grabbed the garment down the middle and ripped it off her. I reach my hand out and took one of her perfect mounds in my hands. Bella. I heard a loud crack and I didn't care. igniting like a fire ball. but she did the sexiest thing I have ever seen in all of my existence. squeezing her nipples and biting her lip. Apparently I had driven her over the edge. straddling me. . "Edward. I wondered for a moment whether I would ever get used to the feeling of Bella's warmth encompassing every part of me. throwing it somewhere in the corner. like that. she threw her head back with a low moan and that was it. I sat up straighter and put my hand on her buttocks.Slowly I pushed her back on the bed. her beautiful chocolate eyes that were filled with tears were now filled with passion and I knew I was in trouble. But that was the last doubt I remember having. she felt like heaven. She looked into my eyes. She let out a gasp and then a moan and threw her head back. Her breasts were right in front of my face. she was making me forget why we should do this. When I pulled away from her. She raised her own hands and placed them on her breasts. pressing myself into her and that was when she got it. shouldn't was run from my mind and replaced by have to. "Yes. When she felt my hand on her leg she gasped and wrapped it around my waist. I reached behind me to grab the headboard and squeezed. I wasn't doing this for her. then rocking more and more quickly. I need you. "Oh. My release flooded over me and my eyes actually rolled back in my head. sitting in front of her. Edward. With her leg still wrapped around my waist Bella pushed me back. I moaned as the fire inside started to burn. I was confused. She was breathing heavier know and her heartbeat was faster. caressing her waist and her hips and finally her lovely legs." She said pulling ever so slightly away from me and pushing her thong to one side and then she was somehow on top of me again and I was inside of her. I knotted one hand in her hair. I was about to reach my hand to massage her breasts. so I could easily touch all of it. I was doing this because I needed her as much as she needed me. urging me on. My hands traveled down her sides. she wanted control and I couldn't loose any of mine with her. She crawled seductively to me and threw her legs on either side. She was so soft and so warm.

" Was my brilliant response. on her side of the bed since my side had a nice big gash out of the headboard. matter. but then the worry started to set in." She said sleepily. "Heaps. "Is the inventory complete?" She nodded." She said. but I rather liked the spooning position. better make that a half dozen each." She said as I took her in my cold arms. saddened that I had ruined it. probably waiting for me to respond. "Am I forgiven? "I'm thinking about it. I guessed.head rush. I rolled her gently off of me and onto her side as she feel asleep. she was worried I would be upset with her. but my mind was still reeling from the knowledge that my innocent Bella had a sex dream about me. but they never did. "Interesting. looking into her lovely eyes." She sat up. inspecting for bruises I assumed. wondering what that had been about. Edward. I would simply find out the designer and buy one or two in every color. waiting for the bruises to come. I didn't take my eyes from her body." "I guess I didn't – but I sort of showed you what it was about." "Twelve?" She looked herself over quickly. "Thank you. I watched her sleep the rest of the night.. welcome news. when she woke up. I waited all night to see how badly I had hurt her this time.. having rolled over in the night. I had started to wonder if I had really hurt her after all. I could tell she was awake. swayed a bit and fell back on the pillows. I don't know exactly what that was last night. I cuddled into her back and we stayed like that way all night. how could that have led to making love? I couldn't believe the pleasure and physical relief I felt." She said with a nervous laugh. I was just beginning to think we might actually be able to have a normal sex life after all. She was trying to be covert about it. She was laying across my chest now. I waited and I waited. I was staring at the ceiling when she finally spoke. but she didn't say anything for a long while. I can't say the same for your. Bella dreamed about making love to me.well. Ah. No. clearly wishing I hadn't noticed her giving herself the once over. "The pillows all appear to have survived. She sighed relieved that I was not angry. stroking her arms lightly." "Unfortunately. that was happy." "You never did tell me what you're dream was about. nightgown. if last . "How much trouble am I in?" she asked quietly." I nodded toward the corner where I had thrown that amazing garment." I said with a smirk. That was news. "I didn't mean. "Oh. She had woken up in such a panic.That's when Bella collapsed on top of me and I was still throbbing inside her. err. "Whoa. "I am sorry. "You slept for a long time.." "It was a very good dream" She hesitated. Twelve hours.. so I couldn't help but add.

She was so incredibly beautiful. How was it possible for a human to look so perfect? "How are you feeling?" She asked worried. "What?" She demanded. for one thing. to control myself." I said nuzzling her neck." "You seem to be extraordinarily unobservant when your attention is otherwise involved. "The word seduced implies a certain amount of premeditation." I allowed. "We're there any other casualties?" "I have to buy Esme a new bed frame. "I'm not angry. but that I could do. "I feel guilty. turning my favorite color. It was easier this time. "You're not angry?" She asked quietly." I said as flashes of her on top of me. She stared into my eyes and I got lost in hers. afraid I would act like the first time we made love. trying to regain her balance. incredulous. "I'm really going to miss that." she said frowning. Maybe because I knew what to expect. before I had destroyed it.. "Why not?" She asked. . I rolled my eyes and her stomach growled. "Hmm. still wearing the neglishee. I laughed. I liked that one. flowed through my mind." A hopeful smile spread across her face and she simply glowed." "So you seduced your all-too-willing husband.night was any indication. "Well. jumping out of the bed and staggering." "Maybe that was the wrong word. "I did too." I said stroking her cheek.." I confessed. "You look so guilty – like you've committed a crime." She admitted blushing furiously." She said giving me hope that maybe she could learn to sleep in something other than sweats. "I was a bit absorbed. "I told you that it was all about practice." My eyes flickered to the bed frame. "That's too bad. like maybe we were compatible in every way after all. okay so maybe I would be having to replace furniture more. glancing at the chunks of wood. That's not a capitol offence. but I caught her in my arms before she could knock something over. "Breakfast time for the human?" "Please.I didn't hurt you. She looked how I felt." I said touching my icy hand to her burning cheek. "You think I would have heard that." I teased and she blushed more." I said allowing the huge smile I felt to appear on my face." She answered. to channel the excess.

"Since when do you eat eggs sunny-side up?" I asked. "I really do want a little more time being human. probably. I guess we need to find a place to live and stuff too." She said after finishing a bite I knew was too hot. I'm demanding a refund. concerned. "So." "I'll tutor you."Are you all right?" I asked. sending tingles down my spine. that was a bad sign." I said confidently. I saw her eyebrow rise. maybe. catching her hand which had continued lower and lower." And she reached her fingers out to run them down my bare chest." She laughed. her eyebrow fell. she was adorable. "If I don't have a better sense of equilibrium in my next life. Edward. "I'll probably fail out in one semester. She snorted. "We'll we sort of already have a house there. She decided to make herself sunny-side up eggs." I said sitting next to her. feeling a little more than guilty.A House?" She paused at each word and I couldn't tell just how angry she was. . though. "Weird." I said and I knew I could since I'd more than likely taken any classes she would be interested in. "Sex was the key all along?" I said rolling my eyes. shaking her head slightly. won't we? To make it to Dartmouth on time? Wow. just in case." "You can give up the college pretense now – you've gotten what you wanted. "Real estate is a good investment. focus on the conversation. "I know. We'll probably have to leave soon. She dressed before cooking for herself this morning. What can we do to wear Bella out today?" She imitated me and she sounded so ridiculous. "It wasn't a pretense. which was full of egg cartons. "Since now. "I have not had enough. raising her hand to my lips. And we didn't agree to a deal so there were no strings attached." I said it sarcastically. Bought. You know. Then. "Why didn't I think of that? I could have saved myself a lot of arguments." I said. "Yeah." "We're going to Dartmouth? Really?" I asked unable to hide the joy in my smile. "You are so human." I looked at her. but it did make me think. wondering if I." She joked." "Do you think we can find an apartment this late?" I grimaced. no. "You're going to love college." Was her simple reply." How would she feel about me having bought a house without her knowledge or consent? "You. "This place is messing with my appetite. should start to make her eggs this way. almost meeting my. But I like it here. "Do you know how many eggs we've gone through in the last week?" I said looking in the trash bin under the sink. she preferred omelets or fried. "For this?" I asked. impatience clouding her voice. I don't spend my free time plotting like some people do. incredulous. something she never ate. that was a good sign.

a future that was bright. looked at Bella with shock and disgust. They have their own legends here. that was easier than I had thought. "She looked terrified. I was thinking – you know what I was saying about practice before." She said. maybe she did need a day to relax. and there was now way they would buy it. I am not hiking all over the island today. The libishomen – a blood-drinking demon who preys exclusively on beautiful women. I saw Gustavo peek at her in the living room and smile. or close enough to it. "I'll have to see if we can keep your "before" car a little longer." I liked this. Kaure. if you want. She looked so cute while putting her foot down. a future in which Bella remained human." She grimaced and I grinned. "Can you hold on to that thought? I hear a boat. then? Huh. "I don't want to go out. He's taken a human as a wife? This isn't right. What is there to do? I tried not to notice as I showed them to the white room. really liked them. I do realize that is possibly the stupidest excuse in history. "A few weeks. All I could come up with was. She suspects what I am. I want to stay home and watch a movie. heaven forbid I not be protected from tanks. I talked to the cleaning people and brought them to the kitchen to explain that we needed more food. "How much longer can we stay?" "We're fine on time." "Yes. Gustavo nodded and they got to work. she had a one track mind. There's a place in the jungle on the south –" I started but she cut me off. I headed downstairs to find Bella by the DVD's and wrapped my arms around her tightly. We could spend Christmas with Rene. we had a pillow fight." She was foiled again and for once I was really disappointed by it. Why don't you pick out a movie while I get the door?" "I didn't head a knock." she said running her hand from my cheek to my shoulder and then to my chest where my heart used to beat.we're ready. "What's with her?" Bella asked of the cleaning woman. I waited and a second later the knock came. making plans for the future. "Kaure's part Ficuna Indian. Yes. to explain the fluff. "So. I noticed the woman. A human. Bella. I had to chuckle just a little. whatever you'd like. trying not to increase her stress." I said leering at her like some dark creature of the night." She agreed and hesitated. listening to Kaure's thoughts. She was raised to be more superstitious – or you could call it more aware – than those who live in the modern world. A few more weeks." I laughed. And then we can visit Charlie before we go to New Hampshire. I quickly moved them on." . "Let me explain the mess in the white room to Gustavo and then we can go out. The cleaning crew must be here. I grinned and kissed her on the forehead. I shrugged. especially eggs. "All right." She had put her foot down and I knew I didn't have a choice. I mentioned that my new wife. she had obviously picked up on Kaure's expression. I had been keeping her very busy.

newlyweds and all. She smiled as wide as I had hoped." I knew this would make her very happy." We cuddled into the couch and she leaned into me so I could wrap her in my arms again." She purred tracing my lips with her tongue." Not exactly. "Yes.I've already mangled the headboard in the other room beyond repair – maybe if we limit the destruction to one area of the house. Esme might invite us back someday. thrusting a random movie into my hand. "Will we move back into the white room now? She asked. picking her up into my arms. want to kiss me. remembering that this was how our first time making love had started." "Very honeymoonish. "I don't know. does she know? Does she know what he is? Will he hurt her? He is beautiful. like that? She thought. She smiled lightly and continued on her way. That's an acceptably human thing to do." I chuckled and saw no movie in her hand. "So there will be more destruction?" I laughed. "She was thinking what I was thinking she was thinking. "Is there something the matter with your heart?" I whispered into her ear... I leaned down and kissed her. "Oh well. Then we were interrupted by a gasp. I moved my lips to her neck to kiss and suck and lick it. She recovered and apologized for interrupting us. "Here" She said. Neither of us really watching the silly musical. and wrapping her hands tightly in my hair. a lot more I hoped. but I knew she had more to say. all alone. want to make love to me. I was just looking at her. "I think it might be safer if it's premeditated. how could this beautiful." "It would be only a matter of time. wasn't she?" Bella asked. schmovie. Kaure stood holding the bag of feathers from the white room. I thought. She was thinking what I wondered everyday. I smiled at her politely and told it was fine. Oh."She is – but mostly she's worried about you. "Movie. rather than if I wait until you assault me again." "Yes I'm sure a movie will convince her that you're human. vibrant woman be with me. "Did you want to go survey the demolition zone now?" . I explained." She paused. but how can she be with him. "Put this on and we can pretend to watch it. She stared at Bella. "Nope. Before us." She agreed and I heard her pulse quicken. I was telling her that we would be practicing more." "Me?" "She's afraid of why I have you here. Healthy as a horse." She said laughing and wrapping her arms around my neck stretching for a kiss. why don't you choose something for us to watch. blushing.

She turned ever so slightly. She pulled my shirt over my head and jumped into my arms and wrapped her legs around my waist. "They're finished."Maybe it would be more polite to wait until we're alone. Where the hell had she learned to do that. let's get out of here. She bit her lip. she slid them all the way down and stepped out of them so she was only in her bra and panties. swaying her hips. I heard Kaure's voice in my mind. care to come and help me get clean?" She said as her hands went to either side of her hips and slowly pulled down to reveal a matching lilac thong. Thank Alice. Cullen. "This is getting out of hand. back still turned she bit her lip and disappeared into the bathroom. I regained my composure when I heard the shower turn on. I stopped at our door and put her down. She bent over so I would get a nice long picture of her buttocks in my mind. I couldn't get her stupid shirt off while I was holding her and she was trying with difficulty to remove my pants. I swept her into my arms and kissed her all the way to the Blue room. Then. She was standing next to the ridiculously large enclosed shower. which looked great in that pair of tight jeans. "Well. my mouth hanging open. so I could wait. waiting for them to be done. She reached the doorway and brought her hands to her back. turning her back. "How about lunch first?" I said as her stomach growled again. She must have heard me come in because at the moment when I stepped into the doorway I saw here. I had another idea for burning calories. I knew she didn't truly want it." "And what was that?" I prompted. with the door open. I stood there for a moment. one of my favorite places to be. I licked around her cleavage and reached around to unhook her bra. "Do you want to swim with the dolphins this afternoon – burn off the calories?' "Maybe later. how I loved when she did that. You may not notice me tearing the furniture apart. Mr. making quick work of undoing the clasp on her bra. She once again put her hand on her hips and tucked her thumbs under the strap of her thong and pulled agonizingly slow down until they fell noiselessly to the floor. She pulled me so that my face was thrust right between her breasts. I do hope the girl will be alright. but just then she shimmied down and way from me. "I'm feeling a little dirty. not enough for me to see anything as she had wrapped one arm over her beautiful breasts and the other threw her bra at me. there's an awful lot of headboard left-" She started to say but I didn't let her finish. She put one foot carefully into the . but her body needed it." I could feel Bella's impatience growing as we "watched" the movie. She actually threw her bra at me! With her eyes still on me. later I had to find out where that came from and also. and why hadn't she done it before? I could tell she had unbuttoned the top button and was slowly sliding the zipper down. She walked slowly towards bathroom door. Okay. that would mean we're alone now?" Bella purred again in my ear. I pulled her shirt above her ahead and looked at her a moment. "So." I said. but it would probably scare them. I pulled Bella closer to me as Gustavo wished us a good day. Finally." She complained when she finished two grilled panini sandwiches. she was in a beautiful lacy lilac bra that barely covered her nipples.

shower and then the other. with the sound of my name. Time to get you clean too. just so I could last until Bella had hers. if I may. soft circles. . for her to have a hickie on her neck. not yet. she opened her eyes and stared directly into mine as she slowly ran them down my body until she met my member." I grabbed the body washed and spread more than enough into my hand. I would be pleased to assist you. Then she put that leg down and repeated her seduction with the other. She reached her breasts and started to rub and massages them. she was incredibly sexy. Bella started rocking in shorter and faster bursts and then she leaned all the way away from me and I saw her luscious breasts. I picked her up and she wrapped her legs around me once more. biting her lip again. I was in the shower with her in less than a second. I gasped and it was my turn to roll my head back. "I don't think I'm the only dirty one. "I need you. giving her as much supposed as possible. scooting herself to the edge and I decided to give some pleasure first. She grabbed her strawberry body wash from the wall and squeezed a generous amount onto her hands. taking care to wash them too. Chapter 7 – Unexpected I watched as Bella slept next to me and I suddenly realized that if we were going to continue on our sexual exploration. She must have wondered what I was doing. She had wrapped both her arms around my neck tightly and the sound of her moaning in tandem with her heart beating was starting to edge me closer to my release. I think you might need some help with that Mrs. I started by massing her shoulders and she closed her eyes. I sat down on the bench next to her and she climbed on top of me. grabbing her hips. watching her. seductively as the water ran down her body. I needed to make sure that I was very well fed. frozen. I liked this in control Bella. not yet. testing the water which was obviously the right temperature because she sighed happily. moving upward. which suited me just fine. I watched as she placed one leg on the bench that sat in the shower and slowly lathered herself up moving her hand all the way to her inner thigh. but I stood there. She held me to her until her explosion ripped through her and then she pulled me up to her. "I. rubbing them together. I had to remind myself not to suck too hard. Cullen. the maid would really freak out then. And that was how I learned just how dirty one can get while trying to get clean. I dropped to my knees and pulled her closer to me. When she was finished her legs she started at her hips. I stuck my tongue out and gently licked the spot I knew she liked most. I set her carefully on the bench and she leaned back against the way. She rocked back and forth and I wrapped my arms around her butt. Instead of allowing me to rinse her soapy hands she put them to my chest. nuzzling deep into her neck. no point it taking chances. straddling me. in my head over and over. I chanted not yet. moving in slow. That's when I woke up and ripped my pants off. That's all we needed. She moaned and I continued until she groaned and put her hand on my head and pulled me closer to her and wiggled herself on my tongue. sexy voice." She whispered in her low. and the taste of her in my mouth I was shoved over the edge in a very powerful manner. Just when I thought there wasn't anyway I could hold out any longer. I'm pretty sure I growled her name and God's at the same time. no one had been hurt last night." I whispered as I nibbled on her ear ever so slightly. maybe this was safest for us. And that was it. Just as I took a nipple in my mouth she moaned my name loudly and shuddered beneath my grasp. Of course. I ran my hands slowly down her arms taking her hands in mine.

I had never felt less like a monster in my life. jumping from my lap. I wished in her direction before heading out our door to the beach. perfect. "I'm sorry. our arrival. Hot. "So much for thoroughness. leaping towards him and grabbing him in a strangle hold. Cullen". It had been pure pleasure. sweaty with the blue screen of the TV filling the room.I watched Bella for another little while and when I was sure that she was sleeping peacefully and soundly I crawled carefully out of the bed trying not to disturb her. My wedding. hoping that Bella was still asleep. The future was looking more and more bright with every passing day. figuring I could make it back before she would awaken. I let the warm water wash over me and pondered what life my hold for us. He was confused. I dressed and took one last peak to make sure she was still sleeping. considering how long she had been sleeping as of late. I rushed to her as she dropped to her knees in front of the toilet. swimming as fast as I could. I reached the mainland. I crossed the room to reach her and gathered her in my arms." She fought against me. I didn't think about how hot you would be with me gone. I addressed it to "Mrs.retries. I changed quickly and then went in search of her. It was such a lovely night I decided to take a swim to the mainland instead of taking the boat. "Excuse me!" She gasped. wiping the sweat from her forehead. I bit effortlessly into his neck. I found her lying on the couch. and I placed it on the pillow next to her. and then our retry. He could sense something was after him and he ran and I followed.." I murmured. covering her mouth. stalking somewhere near me to the left. We had made loved three time and the last two there were no more bruises or broken bones. I'll have the air conditioner on next time. salty blood poured into my mouth and my eyes closed with satisfaction. "Please don't have another nightmare before I get back". I decided I needed the excitement of a chase so I stalked it right back. I've just gone to the mainland to hunt. severing him jugular almost immediately so the creature wouldn't suffer. that was more than I had hoped for. I found a few more leopards and a couple of jaguars before I discovered the sun was about to start to rise and I needed to get swimming before I could be seen by an unsuspecting boater.. trying to get free. our unpleasant awakening the morning after. I entered through our room to discover she wasn't there. moving the hair that was stuck there. I love you. how I loved the way it sounded and now the way it looked. I ran with all my speed. immediately catching the scent of a leopard. it didn't quite quench my thirst like human blood would have but it was good enough. In a few short weeks we would be in New Hampshire. I held her hair back as she was violently ill. I scrawled a quick note that read I am hoping that you won't wake and notice my absence. attending Dartmouth and Bella would still be human. but if you should I'll be back very soon. "Bella?" I asked as she ran to the bathroom. I replayed the events of the last few weeks in my head. Go back to sleep and I'll be here when you wake again. .

see a doctor." I answered automatically. concerned. Bella reached up to kiss me and wrenched away quickly. "It's just food poisoning. "Damn rancid chicken. "Go away. She closed the door. shaking her head and heading shakily down the hall to the bathroom. "How do you feel now?" She paused. "I made some chicken last night." she moaned again and struggled against me. still waiting outside." She moaned. anxious look on her face." She said. desperate to do anything I could to help her." I said. After a moment or two I got anxious and knocked. You don't need to see this." I put my hand on her forehead again. leaving me out side. "Are you well?" I asked." "Not likely. "Maybe we should go back to Rio." I got her a glass of water and we waited to see if she would be okay. "What's wrong?" I asked when I saw the confused. looked like numbers." She said catching her breath. . She jumped up and ran to the kitchen sink and promptly threw up again. It tasted off." I suggested. "Food poisoning?" "Yeah. so I threw it out.. she was counting. "Pretty normal. My mind jumped immediately to the possibility of a parasite. I was at her side again in a second and holding her hair back. "How many days since the wedding?" She whispered." He voice came out strangled. what is it?" She help up one finger. "Are you alright?" I asked concerned. When she held the water down I made her some fried eggs." She croaked. "Did you get sick again?' "Yes and no. I helped her up and she made her way to the sink. A little hungry actually. this was not a simple case of food poisoning. "I'll be fine right after I brush my teeth." I entered and sat down on the bathroom floor next to her. having a lazy day just watching some news.kay. "O. stroking her sweaty forehead."Bella? What's wrong?" I held her. "Bella? Can I please come in?" I begged.. "Fine. After she rinsed her mouth I picked her up and carried her to the bed. asked me to give her a minute as she thought. still mopping her brow and the back of her neck with my icy hands. But I ate a few bites first. "Bella. Go away. "Seventeen. Bella. We cuddled on the couch. She was mouthing words. my hand on her forehead once again.

" She said.. kneeling and answering the ringing phone. of course it was." It hadn't sunk in yet." She said. She held up a box of tampons. only ruled by my needs and desires. "No. I knew what she was saying but it didn't sink in. not to us." She finally choked. dropping her hand to her stomach and then quickly throwing her silk shirt up. Esme. Oh my God.sure. after all pregnancy and babies were no possible for us. I looked at her confused.. like marble on the floor. Her mind jumped to pregnancy.. I was instantly worried. I knew it was not only a possibility. had reached maturity before I was changed. And of course. It couldn't happen. I knew it took a lot longer for a women's body to start to show. Is Carlisle there?" "He is. we didn't see a need to be. What had I done? We weren't careful. because it simply wasn't possible." Bella said. Besides. there was not fact. and would not now loose the ability to produce semen.. "No. I sat frozen. Just staring at Bella looking in the mirror... at least seven weeks longer. they never had their periods. there were legends of the incubus. They no longer produced eggs.and. Of course I could hear every word on both sides of the conversation. "Bella? Bella."Bella! I'm loosing my mind over here!" I said urgently. That would be with me forever. to show a small rounded bump protruding where there had been no bump yesterday. this I could never give her. It sunk in. irresponsible. was not frozen. but I couldn't force myself to get it. "Hi Alice. What's the problem?" "I'm not. my medical training had told me that much. I was a vampire. "I don't think I have food poisoning. but it was all fable. "Impossible. Bella slowly walked over to me. are you okay? "Yeah. her voice shaky. Isn't that what every human teenage male thought when he found himself faced with an unplanned pregnancy? I heard the phone right next to me. Rosalie. I did not produce blood. mine jumped to some sort of insidious parasite. Then it occurred to me. I mean. it was absolutely. she was only five days late." . it was true. her hand on her stomach. unequivocally impossible. And that was when I knew. I'm trying to tell you that my period is five days late. "Oh. Alice and Tanya were all frozen in time." I heard her say. Edward. I had never thought. jumping to her feet. Out of the thousands of times that Carlisle and Esme. I sat there frozen. "What? Are you trying to pass this illness off as PMS?" I knew that this was not a symptom of PMS. understand her words. Um. Stupid. of course. I on the other hand. And then there was Tanya. She wrenched herself away from her again. never thinking that something would happen. I was just like a human teenage male. Jasper and Alice had made love nothing. but of course there had to be another explanation. Emmett and Rosalie. I of hundred percent. but I did produce venom.

"I –" Bella started..I think it is more than possible. I think that.maybe. From what Bella is describing as to how she's feeling. She will need to be examined right away. "When was the first day of your last menstrual cycle?" And there was Doctor Cullen.well.. "No.." And I willed her not to say it. "Has he been harmed?" My father was urgent. to hold her. too." "Put him on. "Bella. "Here's Carlisle. but it appeared that word eluded her almost as much as they did me. no. just. I need you to bring her home as soon as possible..." Carlisle told her. what's going on? I just saw –" "What did you see?" Bella prompted." And of course she said it. Carlisle probably just as shocked as I was.. : I'm a little worried about Edward.taken by surprise." And of course the math was perfectly right. it's Carlisle. I just couldn't make myself take the phone. She's .." "Bella." "I think. Edward.. comfort her. but I just couldn't....and. The silence was long. panicked now and I suddenly wished he was here with me. I needed to talk to Carlisle now. "How do you feel?" "Weird. "Is it possible?" I whispered into the phone as soon as Bella had placed it in my hand. I think Edward wants to talk to you." Alice said. "I. not allowing Alice to finish her answer which was too bad because I would really have liked to know that too. But I'm having bizarre dreams and eating all the time and crying and throwing up and.. no longer acting as my father. I looked at her and held out my hand for the phone.. He to take care of Bella." Oh God! I thought." "I don't understand. "Um. "Why didn't her answer his phone?" "I'm not sure. He thought for a moment. "pregnant.I swear something moved inside me just now. But I was still clinging to the hope of a parasite that was ravaging Bella and not a "baby".Can vampires go into shock?" Twenty minutes ago I could have answered that question with a resounding no.. Bella. I wanted to reach for her. my brain seemed to be in a fog. but now I wasn't so sure. I would say she is pregnant.. I might be.. I knew this was new to him. I finally woke up and out of my state.. What's going on?" This was the first time I had heard my father's voice sound so panicked in a very long time." I hear her voice break and I saw the tear begin to flow silently from her eyes. "This is going to sound crazy – look I know it's way too early for any of this."Is Edward all right?" I heard Alice calling Carlisle and I knew I would need to talk to him. Maybe I am crazy. Here to help me figure out what was going on. "Sixteen days before the wedding.

. I turned to find that Bella was no longer with me. or so I thought. of course. My child? No." I'm not sure who I was trying to soothe. looking into her eyes gain. not if I was the father. "Bella?" I found her in the kitchen. I argued and packed and thought. But. for her to be a mother. no –" I pulled her into my chest. crying. having made all the necessary arrangements and went to find her. her or me. It was a monster. It was just never in the cards for me. What will we find when we get in there? Kaure's thoughts were loud and pondering in my mind. We'll take care of this and you'll be fine. Hope to get this done quickly. Can you get her back immediately? "Yes. I'll get rid of them and be right back. "We're going to get that thing out before it can hurt any part of you. "Take care of this? What do you mean?" I leaned away from her.. Hope the girl is still alive. Don't be scared. I tried to get rid of them but Kaure was insistent. and she couldn't be taken way from me. I finished the conversation on the phone. "What did Carlisle say?" "He thinks you're pregnant." I felt so numb. Then I heard a voice in my head." I went to the door and answered it. "Damn it! I forgot Gustavo was due today. not now. It's happening to fast. We'll be home in sixteen hours. Would my child be like that? I cringed at the though. I had wanted this for Bella. never teach. because I just got her. not like this. Carlisle will be ready when we get there. but never in a serious way. "Who are you calling now?" "The airport. "Are you in pain?" "No. you'll be fine. slaughtering everyone in its path. Yes I will. I had thought about kids. an aberration. You'll be fine." I hung up and started dialing the airport. We're going home. I was at her side in an instant.been pregnant a matter of days and she is manifesting symptoms of a woman in her third month. as tight as I dared. I won't let it hurt you. I couldn't believe this was really happening. surely it wasn't a child. You could never reason with them. What had I done? What had we created? What kind of monster would it be? I could see a little monster running around." "That thing?" She gasped. "Don't be afraid. not if she was really choosing me. never explain. They only had their thirst and that's all they cared about. I put my hands on her face." I couldn't believe how difficult it was to try and get the fastest flight home and absolutely nothing was direct. worried. I mean. How scared must she be? How mad at me she must be. She told me . Of course she would be fine. looking into her eyes. I knew the stories of children who had been changed. for having done this to her. promise.

Great. I lost my temper and told her she could leave. I'm just trying to get her home so we can take care of it." I hadn't and I hope my moments of weakness wouldn't lead to her death. crossing to Bella. "Please. I watched Kaure. we don't know. It's an excuse. She was too slow. how far along was she. too careful. "Did any of these women survive long enough to give birth?" She shook her head. she wants to make sure I haven't killed you yes. Is he being awful to her? Is she in danger? "Not taking care of her properly. She told me quickly of her legends. Please. I stood there taking this in. I threw the food in the fridge and returned to Bella. "I didn't understand anything. about how she was feeling." And I knew that Bella needed no translation. I obviously." I said trying to keep her calm. We're returning home to my father. She gestured a round bmp jetting out of her belly to Bella. I love her more than my own life." "I know. Her eyes opened in shock. "What have you done? What are you bringing into the world? It must not be allowed to live!" She was screaming now." . "You've done this. I felt Bella stiffen beside me and then turn and vomit in the sink.of the dinner she had brought and wanted to bring it in. Pain and grief appeared on my face. watching Bella and me. I would trade my own life for hers. She's my wife. if I could. She's upset." "Don't worry about what she said." I begged. I just want to save her. What was that little monster doing to her? Kaure noticed this gesture too. he's a doctor he will now what to do. I cannot leave until I see her. "Please I love her. Death." I said resting my hand on Bella's cheek. You have created an aberration. "Morte. "I packed your toothbrush." Kaure muttered under her breath. I must make sure the girl is all right. I just wanted to get back to Bella so I let them in. She asked me a few questions. old lies for the sake of entertainment." She said and I knew she was lying. "Where are you going?" "To brush my teeth. soothing her with my wintery hands. I walked ahead. Bella started to walk away from me. seeing more tears staining her face. "She insisting on leaving the food she brought – she make us dinner. I pulled her to me and I felt her touch her stomach. I didn't want to prolong the argument. I'll get it for you. She turned to leave and the whirl made the smell of the fishy dish swirl in the air. There was only one question I had." I pleaded urgently. but I already knew that. please. cannot live. she is my everything. couldn't let it get that far. She walked over to Bella. it must be destroyed. putting her hand over top of Bella's which was still on her stomach. poor thing. No woman had ever survived. I had to figure out a way for my Bella to live. now the maid knew. She said one word before leaving. It's nothing more than legends.

sitting her down. but how would aborting a vampire fetus fair on that? When she wasn't asleep she was holding her stomach and being ill. full of malice and distrust. "Active already. The plane ride was torture." Bella said. I tried to hold her. Every minute was worse than the next." She nodded and I went to get the bags and food into the boat. She was terrified of me. It's okay.." Bella cried into Rose's shoulder. Bella either slept or was ill. What the hell do we do now? Bella loved the monsters." "Of course. in case I get hungry again. I shot a glance at Carlisle and I knew we were thinking the same thing. She game me back her toothbrush and I pack it again. to make it all fit." Rosalie shot me a grin. I found her waiting in the kitchen. When we finally arrived at the airport she walked slowly with me.complicated matters. "Oh." The sooner the better. We both knew that this would. You can't them take my baby. a wide. The one she would die for. use my hands as cold compresses. they'll have to come through me. The one that would kill her.pack some food? You know. I knew it would be difficult for her. but nothing seemed to help. She threw my arms from her shoulders and ran into the arms of the least likely person I would have expected. She wanted the monster that she carried. she loved my family." Rosalie cooed. really. The whole reason we waited to make love was for her virtue." "Yeah. pacing. We had to get several air sickness bags. he's my little nudger. Trying to figure out how to not loose my wife.. stroking her hair."Are we leaving soon?" She called as I walked ahead of her to find her toothbrush." "Edward –" She said and I turned to look at her. Rosalie. she loved me and now she loved the tiny monster that was growing within her. for her soul. "Yes?" She hesitated long enough for me to worry. I waited. it's a feisty little one. What this meant. We'll get to Carlisle in just a few hours. "You can't let them do it. I worried about her soul. When she was sleeping I had time to think what I had done to her. "I'll get the bags in the boat. This will all be over soon. I scooped her up and brought her to the boat. trying to put all of this together. I'm here now. isn't it?" Rose said. Bella was terrified. Don't worry about anything. but it was not of the thing that grew inside her. glowing smile perched upon it.. Bella. "Shh. "As soon as you're done. Then she tensed as she saw my family waiting for us there.. "Could you. looking at Rosalie. I finally understood. "They won't do anything you don' want and if they try. Rose. . placing her hand on Bella's stomach.

It is already moving. I saw him smile in my mind. Carlisle got to work right away. he didn’t understand why until he tried to stick a needle in my womb. It’s impossible to say how long you are going to stay that way. I will take care of you. I couldn’t believe he wanted to hurt our child. It’s okay baby. I immediately fell asleep. while Edward paced the length of the room the entire time. our protector. or when your due date would be. We’re safe now. I truly feared him. I cowered into Rose and she put her arm around me. my new home.” We got into the car and I was wedged between Edward and Rose. I need to get you home. pregnant. Bella. I will not do anything against your wishes. leaning on Rose for support rather than my husband.” “You won’t take him. My baby was not a creature.” She started but he cut her off. I won’t let you. “The only thing I can determine is that you are. It was hard as a rock and couldn’t be penetrated. “No. Bella! It could kill you!” Edward erupted. I sat on the white couch next to Rose. I will never leave your side. a sweet. Its development is….astounding. When we were finally finished we all headed downstairs for a family discussion. “We need to get you home. I glanced at Edward his face was in agony. make sure you and the crea…baby are alright. Rose carried me upstairs to a makeshift medical clinic. she would take care of me and my little nudger. But I didn’t care. Bella. only this one time. She would be our savior. He was obviously very well protected in there.Chapter 8 – Home I was relieved to be in Rosalie’s arms. The Cullen home. changing his wording at the look of distain on my face. In the end. I focused on his bright green eyes. But. She encouraged me while Carlisle tried to make heads or tails of his results. Edward stood back against the wall and Rose held my hand. it was that same crooked smile that Edward wore.” Carlisle said. This time. You need to understand just how dangerous this is for you. Bella. She wouldn’t let Edward and Carlisle take him from me. my protector. x-rays. it looks like we have much to discuss. he didn’t come up with much. Ultrasound machines. I need to do tests. “Edward. everything I hated and dreaded. . “It’s okay. for an amniocentesis. centrifuges and needles. My mind flitted back to the baby boy in my dreams.” I said holding Rose’s hand. She looked at me with a love and kindness that I had never seen and I knew I’d make the right choice to call her. I looked at Rosalie who nodded and smiled encouragingly. please. “This is madness.” “It doesn’t matter. indeed. innocent one. eyebrows raised. The ultrasound couldn’t see or hear anything. “Well.” Carlisle said. I am all set up there for you.” I said hugging closer to Rosalie. When I woke up we were home. I knew I had to take care of my baby and I knew this was all part of that. It’s extremely advanced. the one that was my favorite. Bella. something I thought would never happen. but I would never allow it. he was a tiny baby.

Bella. I got up to remove my clothes to get into my shirt. so Edward’s hands were tied. It will kill you. His head happened to be touching my stomach and my little nudger took that moment to kick for the first time. all of them. He lowered his head into my lap and jumped back to the far wall. I knew they would be. Edward was begging for someone to do something. You have to understand. They would never allow the murder of my child.” I smiled encouragingly at Edward. He noticed me and heard my stomach growl. You can’t do this.” It’s okay. Alice was no help because she couldn’t see the baby. It gave her a headache. I’m fine. somehow. I love you. Esme’s grandchild. I love you both. Please.“No! Bella. With Rose and Esme behind me. I looked to Rose. He alone couldn’t go through Rose. almost like with the werewolves. it’s a monster. Nothing is going to happen to me.” His face softened and he walked slowly. he always made the best! I felt very tired. needing a friendly face. looking into my eyes pleadingly. He must have seen the resolve in my eyes. carefully to me. He grabbed my hands and held them. to show me I had nothing to fear from him. I thought. After I finished the delicious eggs. The day passed and Rose never did leave my side. I think he heard your voice. but he buried his face in his hands. He got up and muttered something about “least he could do” and retreated to the kitchen. She is going to be my angel through this. I had napped and when they thought I was sleeping they had hushed conversations. For us. He noticed my eyes close and I was suddenly in his arms. Rose and Esme were behind me.” “He’s not a monster. Her vision was blocked. I will fight for him. I knew she would be my rock when things were bad and I knew they would be. please. your child and I love him. I think. “Would you like to try some food.” I said startled by the biggest movement I had felt yet. He returned to sit on the arm of the sofa. “Yes. He’s going to be strong. Edward. I gasped and Carlisle was at my side in an instant. Some eggs?” I started to get up. It’s our child. He laid me on the bed and I saw my favorite sweatshirt laying there. Emmett and Carlisle would not go against them. but more. but he motioned for me to sit. He was just saying hello. Emmett. I can’t loose you. As I pulled my current shirt over my head I . I ‘woke up” and looked at him. please. Esme and Carlisle. let Carlisle –“ “Edward. “Please. “Bella?” “Nothing. Edward. I really hated being sick but I was getting very hungry. love?” I was nervous. they both wanted children so badly. There is no world without you and now there is no world without him. halfway up the stairs before I noticed anything.” I said simply. Jasper wouldn’t do anything without Alice’s support. I need you. Her smile was big and bright. it just wasn’t in his nature. It also helped that Carlisle couldn’t kill another being. but no one would help him.

but I have picked up some kind of bug when we were in Rio. “You need to call your father and we need to figure out what you’re going to tell him. I don’t know what I’d do without-“ “I’m not going anywhere. He stared.” He said looking at my bulging belly and. It was clear to everyone that I was showing even more today than yesterday. of course.” I said cutting him off before I drifted to sleep. again. “I will talk to him also. “Fine. it was almost scary. putting her hand encouragingly on my shoulder. my love. He’s going to be perfect. he stayed his me the whole time. When I was finally worn out from being ill he brought me back to bed. relaxed by the sound of his even breathing. ‘I believe that we should tell him you contracted a parasite in Rio. Food was definitely going to be a problem. . “Could you come to bed now? I need to cuddle. I’m back home now. “I’m okay dad.” I saw him snap back to reality and he crossed the room and came to lie next to me. Edward. apparently I sounded as bad as I thought I did. I had to agree.” He hugged me so close. I have two reasons to live now. You should tell him I have quarantined you and he cannot visit. give him my medical opinion.” Carlisle said and he was right. “Hi Dad. There was no way I could explain being this pregnant after he had seen me less than a month ago.” I nodded as Esme handed me the phone. I curled into his chest.” I said placing the sweatshirt over my head and slipped into bed. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and running to the nearest bathroom and vomiting for what seemed like forever. I knew he was. Edward. I guess he had kicked me as hard as I thought he had. “You’ve given me something so much better. “I’m so sorry. into the mirror. we had another family meeting. I didn’t need to put on an act. “It’s fine. Even though I knew how opposed Edward was to the whole situation.heard Edward gasp and I felt him icy hands on my stomach. I thought before drifting back off again. I’m sorry for what I’m done to you. “Bella. frozen. I love you. I don’t even feel it.” I said when he answered. why?” He whirled me around to face the mirror and I saw a nice sized purple bruise on my abdomen. He obviously can’t see you in you’re current condition. I knew I sounded tired and ill. but it was not a conversation I was looking forward to. my god! Are you all right?” He asked urgently. “You are my everything. The next morning or afternoon I guess. Carlisle saw my expression. Bella.” I reached up to stroke his face and kissed him gently on his hard lips. There is no way we can go to Dartmouth now. for you to go to college. I’ve taken away everything from you. holding my hair back and whipping my neck and face with his refreshing hands. I took a deep breath and dialed Charlie’s number. “Bella? Are you all right?” He asked immediately.

There isn’t a way for you to survive this. I can’t stand this. but I’m only doing what’s best for her. here she is. “Please. seeing you in so much pain. it is that serious. this bug is pretty bad. to save her life. bye. My little nudger kicked me so hard I tried not to scream in pain. Bella. Bella. I love you. Charlie. I’ll come see you. remembering how Esme had lost her baby. I would survive. You call me anytime.” He demanded. so Charlie says you need to be kept all safe and comfortable so you can get better. I was worse now. now. I will keep myself alive for as long as I can. I talked to him everyday. Please. My body is only human.” “Oh Edward. her son. “Hi dad. Yes. “Bella?” Edward asked panicked. “Of course I realize she’s your daughter Charlie. a parasite actually. grabbing my hand. “Okay dad. “Ok. I’m fine. Don’t worry. at exactly the same time. Chapter 9 – Surprise It was a week since I had gotten home and I was on the phone with Charlie. Then it will be up to you to save me. I will not survive this human.” Edward groaned and fell to him knees. which mingled with shock and absolute horror at what I had planned for myself. “Just a kick. “Hello. It is a serious bug. I know.” I said quickly.” I nearly dropped the phone at that moment. Charlie. I guess. And I remembered the story of her jumping off the cliff and how Carlisle found her and changed her. I passed the phone to Carlisle who put on his most convincing voice.” There was a pause while my dad was probably demanding answers. I couldn’t keep anything down.” And there was that look of understanding. eventually I pretty much gave up any hope. understand. All I could . I thought of her pain and despair. I just have to get used to it. But I will talk to you everyday. listening. that’s why she’s here instead of at the hospital. Edward. They all saw the look on my face and interpreted it correctly. Bella. “Of course.” “I know dad. It wasn’t hard to sound sick.” He paused again. I was ill every time I tried to eat anything. and as I spoke I knew he would understand what I meant to happen.” “Oh. Edward. just like Carlisle saved Esme. keep my heart beating and my lungs breathing as long as I could and after that I put my life in Edward and Carlisle’s hands. He looked pleadingly into my eyes.” “I’m your father and I’m coming to see you. again.” “Okay kiddo. Let me talk to Carlisle. Carlisle was immediately in front of me. you hear? I love you. But. I leaned my head back on the couch letting the tears well up and roll silently down my cheeks. I was so hungry. Carlisle says no visitors right now. I’m taking care of her.Carlisle if taking good care of me.” I said. flipping the phone shut. I’ve missed you too. I need a clean environment. “ He handed the phone back to me. I’ve missed you.

Charlie. His eyes were black and empty.” Charlie demanded.” “I want to talk to Carlisle. certainly never to hunt.” He reached to stroke my hair. As soon as our baby was ready I could give in and he could change me. I am keeping her in a clean and carefully controlled environment. Charlie. now. They’re all taking really good care of me. He was so worried about me and I hated to put him through this. The Volturi would come. I know you want to see her. I missed his amber eyes. “Not a chance. It’ll be fine. really. trailing my cold fingers down his cheeks.” I said. especially in the darkness of the night. You should go and hunt. probably looked about seven months if it had been a normal pregnancy. And with any luck it wouldn’t last all that much longer. That and I didn’t think he could handle all this new information. or to ease his worries. I reached down to stroke his hair. but there was no way around it. I started to cry and Rose was at my side in an instant. Charlie was stubborn. I felt was hope it would work. finally nodding. I’m protecting Bella. I was huge already. He turned to look at me and I saw the pain and agony on his face. keeping in him the dark for his own safety. dad. but I’m not protection you. like me. “Bella? What’s wrong? What is it?” . His safety would be in jeopardy. this is serious. And he would have come here. I knew he was starving. it wasn’t difficult to see where I got it from. I had been thinking and the thoughts and fears came fast and furious. I know you don’t care about yourself getting sick. but I will tell her and I will keep you informed. but it was better than being up in the hospital wing that Carlisle had created. or to just tell him. These black eyes were cold and dark and if I didn’t know him better. it’s isn’t safe fore him. Everything will be all right. “ He said giving me a half smile that didn’t reach his eyes. Sometimes. We can’t let him see you like this. then our family would be perfect. guilty. just like it had for Esme. Edward and Carlisle were discussing something in the other room and Rosalie was sitting with me in my room. There’s no need to –“ “Bella.” He said as I glared at him. “Hello. “Hi. But I knew I never could. very serious. looking deep into my eyes. Charlie. “I really wish you hadn’t told him that. not that I could see. like vampires and fantasy worlds and his 18 year old daughter being seven months pregnant when he’d only seen her less than a month ago looking nothing less that fit. the doubts would creep in. I’ll be fine. Once again I nodded at my father-in-law and handed him the phone. my expression softening as I thought. Yes. “Yes. I was getting tired of this couch.” He said snapping the phone shut. I was constantly warring with myself with which was more important. He had rarely left my side since this whole thing started. And I really couldn’t stay cooped up in my bedroom either. “You look thirsty. but the fact is that this is serious. You wouldn’t want to jeopardize her health any more. One night was particularly bad. I know she has been reassuring you. frightening. “She’s actually fell asleep. about this look. now would you?” There was a pause and Carlisle nodded. I glanced at Edward who was sitting on the floor by my head. I’m trying to get better. I hated that I was doing this to him.

I sniffled and looked at her as she stroked my hair. “It’s nothing, just afraid I guess. Hoping I’m doing the right thing.” I thought she would immediately jump in and tell me I was, indeed, doing the right thing and not to worry. But, instead she furrowed her lovely brows; she must have sensed I needed more than reassurances. I needed to talk. “What are you frightened about?” “Well…What if it doesn’t work? What if it’s too late for the venom to work?” “You’re afraid of dying?” “No. I’m afraid of leaving him, them. What if I die? Who will look after the baby? Edward won’t be able to do it. What will happen to him? And then, will the baby hate me for not being around for him? Will he know who I was? What if they try to kill him after I’m gone?” Rose rubbed my back soothingly. “Shh, Bella, relax. You don’t need to worry, that isn’t going to happen. You are going to be fine.” “What if I’m not?” She sighed and humoured me. “Fine, I promise you, that if anything happens to you I will look after the baby and I will do what I can for Edward. There are plenty of people who love them both, who will take care of them. They will never hurt the baby, I won’t let them.” She paused, thoughtful for a moment. “And I swear, your baby will know who you are.” She said stroking my face as I started to cry more. I desperately worried that I would never have the chance to know my baby. “Hush, Bella. You don’t want to worry Edward. He’ll be back any moment.” She said, hugging me. This was the moment that Rose went from being my protector to my sister. She was so sweet, so tender with me. It was a side I rarely saw of her, and I really liked it. She sat with me until Edward returned and took over stroking my hair and humming my lullaby for me, until I drifted off to sleep. I dreamt that night. It wasn’t so much a nightmare, or a dream, it just...was. I could see Edward and he was holding a baby, our baby. I kept walking towards them, but they never got any closer. I tried to reach them, but they just looked at me. I wasn’t panicked, but I knew I had to get to them. I never did before I was awakened with a start from a kick from my nudger. I tried to stifle the loud gasp as I grasped my stomach tightly, I really did, but it escaped anyway. The light was on immediately and Edward was leaning over me before I even had time to open my eyes. He put his hand on top of mine and stroked my hair. “Bella?” “Fine. Just a kick.” I said through gritted teeth and I heard Edward groan into my shoulder. I could tell it was morning and I really didn’t want to sleep anymore, so I asked to be brought downstairs. That was when I had talked to Charlie and I knew he was getting worried and he had no idea what to do. The situation was starting to get desperate and we needed to figure out what we were going to do. I sat on the couch pondering what they would tell Charlie had happened to me. Where would they say I went for a whole year, at least? It was frustrating to think that maybe it would just be better for him if he thought I was dead. He would stop worrying about me and start the whole grieving

process. Then I was brought out of I thoughts as Edward stiffened beside me and hissed. ”Edward? What is it?” “Jacob is here.” There was some quick, hushed muttering that I didn’t catch but I gathered that this would not be a friendly visit. “I’ll get the door.” Carlisle said, resigned. He knew Edward didn’t want to leave my side if he didn’t absolutely have to. “Hello Jacob.” Carlisle said before I heard him open the door, or even heard the knock on the door. “How are you?” When Jacob’s voice came it was strained and unfriendly. “I heard Bella made it back alive.” “Er, Jacob, it’s not really the best time. Could we do this later?” This is ridiculous I thought... What better time would there be? “Can’t we just let him in?” I whispered as Edward shook his head. “Why not?” I asked loudly. “Are we keeping secrets from Jacob now too? What’s the point?” I cleared my throat, trying to sound half way normal. “Come in, please, Jacob.” Edward put his head in his hands, I knew he was wishing that I would just let it go, but I couldn’t. “Excuse me.” I heard Jacob say, probably pushing past Carlisle. Everyone was crowding around me and I knew they were protecting me in case Jacob lost it, but I really wished they would back off. I was a little embarrassed. I didn’t want Jacob to see me this way. I had lost weight, was much skinner, despite my growing belly. I’d stopped looking into a mirror because it got depressing and scary. My cheek bones jutted out as my cheeks sunk in and my eyes had deep, dark circles under them. I would rather not have Jacob remember me this way. It would have been better for him to remember how I looked when we were fixing out bikes or just sitting around talking, or my wedding day; I was beautiful then. But, I was selfish and I wanted to see him. I saw him look at me and then something inside me turned. I looked urgently up at Rose and she knew immediately what I needed. A split second later she had a bed pan under my chin. I grabbed the sofa as I threw up violently into it. Edward dropped to his knees before me and I saw the pain in his face, the agony. He leaned his head against my knee as I stroked his hair lightly. “Sorry about that.” I said looking at Jacob timidly. That was really gross and I felt bad that he had to see that. It was bad enough being ill in front of my husband, let alone anyone else. Jacob looked concerned as he crossed the room quickly, but Rose stepped in his way, hissing. I lifted my hand and grabbed hers. “Rose, don’t. It’s fine.” She moved out of the way so I could see Jacob, and came to crouch protectively by my head. “Bella, what’s wrong?” He grabbed me hand, which was now almost as icy as Edward’s. His eyebrows creased in confusion and worry. “Are you alright?”

I didn’t know how to answer that, the obvious answer was, not so much, no, so I ignored it. “I’m so glad you came to see my today, Jacob.” And it was true, I didn’t know if I would ever see him again. I had no idea how much time I had left. I felt Edward groan and push himself even closer into my blanket. I just continued stroking his hair. Jacob felt so warm on my hand it felt nice. I didn’t think I would ever get to feel warmth like this ever again. “What is it Bella? I couldn’t think how to answer his question, all I could think was that I needed to show him. I looked to everyone, pleading with them to understand why I needed to do this. “Help me up, Rose?” I saw Rose glare at Jacob, probably considering destroying him. “Please, Rose?” I begged, struggling to get to my feet. “No, don’t get up…” Jacob whispered as Rose put her arms around me helping me up. “I’m answering your question.” I snapped still struggling to hold my balance, cradling my giant, heavy belly; it was almost a chore just to stay upright. He took a long while looking, then gaping at me. I saw at the moment understanding flooded over him and he looked furious. Edward was instantly on his feet, angry. “Outside, Jacob.” He said stepping in front of me. “Let’s do this,” Jacob snarled, and I heard the malice in his voice. I saw Emmett and Jasper move to directly behind Edward, flanking him. “No,” I cried, grasping at Edward, nearly toppling over, Rose had to catch me before I fell. “I just need to talk to him, Bella.” Edward said, stroking my cheek soothingly. “Don’t strain yourself. Please, rest. We’ll both be back in just a few minutes.” I hoped he wasn’t just trying to placate me, but I started to feel a little light headed so I didn’t put up much of a fight. Rose sensed my ill feeling and put me gently back on the couch. “Behave,” I ordered, my gaze never leaving Jacob’s. The last thing I needed was a dead werewolf, a dead Jacob on my hands. But then again, the very last thing I needed was a dead husband. Edward was so distracted and forlorn; I wasn’t sure how much of a fight he could put up. “And then come back,” I added as Jacob turned his back to me and followed Edward out. I wanted them not to leave me. I wanted them to just get a long. I wondered what they were saying out there. Then a thought occurred to me. Would Jacob try to kill me and my baby? I mean, surely he wouldn’t kill me, right? I was still human…but I was carrying something inside me, something he would consider a monster. I put my hands on my belly protectively. I felt a small kick, I winced a little, but it was just a small one…comparatively. Everyone looked at me but I just smiled, rubbing my stomach. It’s okay, baby. I thought reassuringly to my stomach. Nothing is wrong, no one is going to hurt you. Jacob is my friend. He’d never hurt me…I hope. I suddenly remembered his rough kisses, my broken hand, the tent, and when he grabbed me at my wedding. I amended; He’d never hurt me, intentionally.

She looked the furthest away from a grandmother than anyone could possibly be. My eyes flickered back and forth from Edward to Jacob’s and back again. I decided to go with the Jacob I had known when we were in his garage. but I knew the animosity between the two of them was still more than present. that they have not killed each other. Jakes not going to hurt us. I wasn’t totally sure of my answer. He would be adored. waiting for someone to say something. looking agonized. baby.” She smiled sadly at me.Chapter 10 – Understanding I kept waiting for Edward and Jacob to return. I think they both liked it. He sounded more like a friend than my husband and that stung. also. Also. I did want to talk to him. “Rose. gently across my bulge. he would kick when he heard his father. I wished Edward would come to me.” “It might be a trick.” Edward said turning to me. I choose to believe the Jacob that was standing in front of me was the Jacob who would never hurt me. looking into my eyes once more. stroking my hair gently trying to soothe me. more than just taken care of. “Jacob wants to talk to you. “Over my pile of ashes. hearing Edward and Jacob making their way back to me. maybe it was a little of both. I saw Jacob hesitate in the doorway while Edward walked into the middle of his family. fixing out bikes. I was ecstatic that Jacob had decided to come back. Edward couldn’t hear my thought. humming softly.” She warned . “I’m your grandma. brushing my cheek and resting her hand on my stomach.” Rose hissed. I wasn’t sure if she was sad because of her past life or because she was upset that Edward was not enjoying the great joys of being a first time parent. You be safe and warm in there and then I can’t wait to meet you. “Bella. about dying were washed away. I looked at her and she smiled lovingly at me. realizing this woman who looked absolutely no older than thirty would be a grandmother in only a short while. I watched her lean in and lay her head there next to her hand. my little angel. I had a sudden sting of shock. “Hello. But. empty and it broke my heart that he was feeling so dejected at this time when we should be celebrating. but he just stood there. it’s fine. I tried to stay relaxed as Esme met me on the couch. not just leave. I was broken from my reverie as Esme left my side.” She whispered. If I didn’t make it my baby would be more than loved. Esme. “When I was pregnant my husband would speak to our baby like that. Edward told me not to worry.” He sounded strange. Are you afraid to be alone with him?” To be one hundred percent honest. my child’s grandmother. running her hand slowly. “We’re going to let Jacob and Bella speak privately. She came to me and placed a cold soothing hand on my cheek. rather then the Jacob who was at my wedding. at this moment. All my fears about possibly leaving my baby. But as she moved her hand from my hair. I smiled at her and then she leaned up. Go with Edward. I didn’t know how Jacob felt about my little nudger and I was a little frightened of what he might think or do.” She said softly. I was glad.

“Everyone.” My expression changed to horror.” Jake looked directly into my eyes and rolled his. all except one. He was even warmer than I remembered or was it simply because I was so cold? “Thanks. considering. I was only protecting me and my nudger. my new family leaving me with an old friend.” “I know. “No. making sure there was no way I could miss it. Bella. If I could hold on a little longer there would be something left here. “It’s so good having you here. and sparking amber eyes. “I didn’t mean it that way. “Rose. motioning for the doorway. his eyes on fire with pain. This was what I missed about Jake. lightening the mood a little. Bells. but he tried to smile for me. I thought.” I gasped. . once more before I died. to show I was here. That feels nice. or tried to watch the room clear out. I want you to go. if I didn’t make it through. okay. “I don’t see how. He stared at our hands as he rubbed them. I bring it on myself. Jake. I’m not…” I said pleading for him to not see it that way. She turned her gaze and glared at Jacob warningly for a long while before she followed the others out. bright smile.” I knew he was trying to joke with me. Rosalie. Edward. “No. It only made me miss him more. although he tried to hide it. “We’re the ones she’s afraid of. gesturing for him to go first.” I admitted. it was no where near my favorite crooked smile that I loved and missed. You’re hideous.” I said marveling at the feel of his hot hands on mine. Don’t worry about me. He couldn’t understand me and I certainly couldn’t understand him not wanting out baby.” “Carlisle and I will always be in your sight.” Edward said. sighing. It was a part of him and a part of me. I don’t know how much more drama I can stand. agreeing with me. I hoped that I could see that smile.I thought of this for a moment.” I said.” He joked. but we both knew it was true. “Please. “I scary-looking. How could I not worry about him when he looked so lost and hurt? I longed for that day when I could see his crooked. he could always make me laugh and laughing was in very short supply around here. at least. His voice cracked and he was upset.” Edward waited silently at the door for his sister to leave and she glowered at him. I laughed. Edward looked at me. Some days it was the only thing that got me through the pain. but I knew that this was the way it had to be for now. “Thing-from-the-swamp scary. “ Like that was going to happen. Jacob crossed the room and took both my icy hands in his hot ones. “I’m not going to lie. I’m fine. It feels nice to smile. I loved him and I miss him.” Edward assured her. “Okay.” I watched.

“It’ll work out you know.” I told him.” I watched him. “To talk some sense into you. “Sort of.” I said remembering a conversation I had with Edward a few months earlier.“Yeah. I’m not saying things will work out easily. knowing that sometime. Though I can’t figure out why he thinks you’d listen to me. “I told you –“He started before I cut him off. it would be easier for me. someone who was right for him would come along and he would be happy again. “I believe that. “More than anyone else. “What are you babbling about?” .” I smiled and chuckled. you’ve got some magic waiting to make things right for you. I decided to lighten the mood. Jacob?” I paused for full effect. “Did he really ask you to talk to me?” I knew it wasn’t fair to bring Jacob into this. willing him to finally be able to let go of me. I knew I should tell him to leave. “I can’t take the credit – I got it off a rerun of The Simpson’s. but I missed him so much and it felt so great o have him here.” “Missed that one.” “Is dementia one of your symptoms?” He snapped at me and he reminded me of the last time I’d seen him. God knows I couldn’t do it. you do. But how could I have lived though all that I’ve lived through and not believe in magic by this point.” I said.” “It was funny. remember the rerun of the Simpson’s I had seen. “His name is ‘Shut the hell up’. neither one of us knowing how to break the silence. I just couldn’t do it. What’re you thinking. I’d wanted to use it for a long time.” “Magic?” “Especially for you. so I jumped in. You never have before. He looked pained. I looked deep into his eyes. he looked as though he was searching for the words.” “Good one.” I sighed knowing that Edward would try anything to get me to change my mind and Jacob was right. I would never let anyone take my baby from me. at my wedding. Bells? Seriously?” “Did he ask you to yell at me?” I was so tired of all the lectures and pleading. “Did you know that ‘I told you so’ has a brother. “Maybe. feeling a little better about all that Jacob was going through. I laughed.” We were silent for a few moments. Jake. rubbing his cheeks. I pulled my hands away from his and placed them on either side of his face. maybe if he did. now I was glad to have finally had the opportunity. There’s a battle that’s lost before it starts.

hard to see as it is now.” “Emergency vampirazation.” I sighed. I’m not stupid. Jacob and maybe then all of this will make sense. however this turned out. Bella. You’re not strong enough. especially not Edward and Jacob. I rubbed my belly. Bella! Nothing!” He shouted. He was suddenly angry. not that I care about that. He growled. “I can do this. knowing he would understand.” His words were coming fast and furious as he was snarling at me. your. I thought of the best way to broach it. because I don’t see it. I’m strong enough for that. not trusting myself to keep my calm. I knew Jake would never see it that way and I only planned on staying alive just long enough.” he said shaking his head slowly. taking my face in his hands. I was tired of explaining. “Although I guess you probably have your own opinions on that point though. I thought.” I said quietly. please. “I will keep my heart beating. “Tell me what the point was then. “I don’t know yet Jake.” I turned my gaze to look into his eyes again and chuckled lightly. I mean. “You aren’t planning to survive this human.. this was the conversation I was not looking forward to.“Edward told me once what it was like – your imprinting thing. “So?” “So she was close enough to dead that they didn’t even bother taking her to the emergency room – they took her right to the morgue. And Emmett and Rosalie and even Edward. tired of fighting. Bella. “Did you know Esme jumped off a cliff? When she was human.. Her heart was still beating.” I muttered quietly. like magic. making me flinch. I can do this.” He emphasized. You’ve been trying to keep up with the supernatural for too long. realizing I did intent to die. But I just…feel…that this is all going somewhere good. “No. though when Carlisle found her…” I paused.” I tried to explain. I knew no one. taking my eyes from him. “Doesn’t look like it to me. “It worked for Esme. “Do you really think that just because I might someday imprint on some stranger it would make this right?” He jabbed a finger at my swollen belly and I instinctively wrapped my arms around myself protectively. Bella! What was the point of me loving you? What was the point of you loving him? When you die? How is that ever right again? What the point to all the pain? Mine. trying to control my own anger and frustration.” I nodded. I was dying for him.” “You’re dying for nothing. I knew exactly how he was going to react when I told him what I was intending to do. I guess you could call it faith. “If you think that imprinting could ever make sense of this insanity…” He paused with fury.” “That’s a load of crap. I flinched when he mentioned Edward and my thoughts strayed to the Volturi in Italy. You’ll find who you’re really looking for.” I said. too. He said it was like A Midsummer Night’s Dream.” He said in an empty voice. No normal person can do it. “So what was the point of your twisted love strong. I was definitely dying for something. in the end? If there is any sense. trying to find the words. “I’m not going to die. his! You’ll kill him. So what’s your place? I hope you have one. could possibly understand my resolve. show me. None of them were in such .

You’ve seen it before. if my plan didn’t work. “Jake. huh? Should brought some blue balloons.” “No. “It’s going to be okay. “I don’t know he’s a boy.” The pleading suddenly changed to something else. The membrane around the baby is too hard – like their skin. I felt so bad that this was so hard for him.” His voice was like acid. “We’ll see.” I shook my head. Carlisle only changed them because it was that or death.” His eyes bored into mine.” I soothed. For you.” He stated. Don’t do this to him. pleading.” He snarled. He was trying to calm himself. “Listen to me.” I could see his fury as he began shaking. I watched a few tears spill silently from his eyes and I whipped them away gently.” .great shape. Don’t wait until it’s too late.” I admitted. Don’t do it that way. he saves them. “You’re very pessimistic. Bells. “Shh. “Remember when I got mangled up by those newborns? What did you tell me?” I pursed my lips together like a stubborn child.” My hand began rubbing my stomach lightly. The ultrasound wouldn’t work. okay? Just live. Not that way. It won’t be ok. preparing to talk about this one more time. the beautiful smile. He doesn’t end lives. trying to explain why I was going what I had to do. But I always see a boy in my head. I could feel my cheeks flushing. refusing to answer. It’s okay. Don’t do this to me. Live. He was so desperate to find any way to keep me alive. back to anger? “You know what he’s going to do when you die.” He said not looking at me. A bouncing baby boy. Shh. “It’s not the right thing now. “You told me to be good and listen to Carlisle. He struggled to contain himself. rubbing his hair and then stroking his cheek. The piercing green eyes. I knew he didn’t care about what Edward would or wouldn’t do if I were to die.” I thought to the baby boy I saw in my dreams. You want him to go back to those Italian Killers?” I cringed thinking of the Volturi again.” I took a deep breath. Jacob. There is definitely a chance I might walk away from this.” “Okay – pick either reason. I gave him a moment to collect himself. So he’s a little mystery. Bella.” “You won’t. Bella. “It’s not some pretty baby in there.” “Oh. knowing that no one but a pregnant woman or mother would understand. “I won’t kill him. “You listened because you knew it was the right thing to do. Surely he must at least understand these two situations were completely different.” And what did I do? I listened to the vampire. to not frighten me. I hadn’t heard the great news.

I’m worried about it sure. Bella? I thought the whole point was that you wanted your vampire more than anything. Don’t get your back up yet.” I couldn’t understand what he meant. Bella. in addition to Edward.” “Jake -” I started but he cut me off. I didn’t even think about it. I didn’t care about having a baby. You can spout this crap to your bloodsucker. That’s when I realized he was looking. “Bella.” He repeats. gritting his teeth. I gasped and clutched my stomach. Bella. black and blue and purple and green and yellow. “He’s strong. It’s not just having a baby. knowing this was another thing that he would just never understand. “Listen to me. I hadn’t fooled him apparently. It’s well…this baby. kicking me hard. His eyes were wide on me. horrified. no longer angry. or so we thought and I wanted Edward. “I’m fine. Since when are you so desperate to be a mom? If you wanted that so much. things would be no different. “It’s not like that. “What if what?” “What if this wasn’t a one shot deal? What if it wasn’t all or nothing? What if you just listened to Carlisle like a food girl and kept yourself alive?” “I won’t-” “I’m not done yet. try again? You can’t think Edward would let me…” And what different would it make? I’m sure any baby -”. too. come on! Shit up.“What the deal. You know you’re not going to make it. But I can tough this out Jake. Try again. they were certainly not a possibility for me and Edward. “I don’t understand…What do you mean.” I said defensively. a rainbow of bruises in various stages of healing. . don’t do this. Just then my nudger decided to stretch. my sweat shirt had ridden up. Then you start over. that’s all. okay? Just listen. It’s me. at my stomach. It was bad enough Edward had to hear me when the nudger kicked especially hard.” “Worried about it.” I said gasping.” Jake said. This didn’t work out. So you stay alive.” “It’s a killer.” I glared at him. It wasn’t until I was pregnant with my little nudger that I knew this was also what I wanted. “Bella. so I pushed the idea of babies out of my head. I can -” “Aww. I’m just weak and human. why did you marry a vampire?” I thought for a moment. I had never really wanted kids. Look at yourself. I frowned reaching to smooth the worry line that had formed on Jake’s brow. He had seen my bulging belly.” ”He’s not. What if…” he paused and I got impatient. I quickly yanked my shirt back down. sad but determined. It’s nothing. I was not going to subject Jake to that. but you’re not fooling me. And now you’re giving him up? That doesn’t make any sense. wishing I had noticed much sooner. “I do not know that. willing myself not to cry out. When I had clutched at my belly.

didn’t he?” “No.” “Then what are you saying?” This was not making any sense to me. I rubbed my belly absentmindedly while my brain ran it over and over again. He said quietly.” I was quiet. You think I should kill my baby and replace it with some genetic substitute. My brain was starting to turn that little wheel. Honestly I do. Ugh! Please. half Edward. almost ashamed. “He would do anything for me.” “Did he ask you to say that?” I asked suspiciously. really. Same as ever. And I think he’s loosing it. And I’m hurting him so much… But what is he thinking? That I would trade this -” I said tracing my fingers over my belly – “for some strangers…” And here came those bloody tears that I furiously fought to keep back. “Why would I want to have some stranger’s baby? I supposed it just doesn’t make a difference.” Then realization flooded over me and I was disgusted.” We didn’t talk for along while and I was stewing again.” “Nothing. “Nothing. but then I softened as I remembered the look of pain and sorrow that was always perched on Edward’s face. A horrible picture was forming in my mind.” He snapped.“Yes. Not a stranger. Was this what they were discussing behind my back? Possible sperm donors? How best to beak it to the crazy pregnant lady? “No. “You could make him happy again. combined into one. Bella. barely audible. About trying again. “Not a stranger?” I murmured. Artificial insemination?” Anger flowed threw my veins at the thought of his suggestion. I’m saying nothing. But I already knew. Bella. “Any kid of his would be the same. “What exactly did Edward say to you?” “Nothing. the very best pf us. not a stranger. He didn’t say anything about artificial whatever.” He said simply.” “Where did that come from?” “Forget it. “Wow.” “Not that.” But I wasn’t listening. “Not a stranger’s baby. “He did. He just thought you might listen to me. Any baby will do?” No one understood. Jacob. Half me. “Oh. “He really would do anything wouldn’t he?” . stewing. not a stranger. insulted. understood. “I didn’t mean that.” He said after hesitating. This was my baby. “You don’t have to hurt him.” he whispered.

Bella. letting him put his hands all over me. I’ve got to get back. “Why did you come today?” I desperately wanted to figure out a way for him to stay. swallowing hard. “Just to see if you were really alive. I needed to cause him no more pain. He should run from me and I should let him go.I couldn’t believe my husband was willing to hand me over so willingly to any other man. He got to his feet and I grabbed at his arm. You should go. Get him in trouble. leaving me there to have sex with him. looking at Jacob. what? Edward would return in the morning to pick me up and I go back to being his wife? “I told you he was going crazy.” He mumbled on his way out. . The door closed and he was gone.” He said harshly and I flinched away from him. “Thought about it. is there? I really don’t deserve either of you. “Sure.” I pleaded. “There isn’t much you wouldn’t do for me. but it was more of a grimace. I can’t hurt him. “Where are you going?” “I’m not doing any good here. Bella?” “I don’t think I do.” I grinned.” I said goodbye to my friend. “I don’t belong here.” I said rubbing my stomach again – “anymore than I could pick up a gun and shoot you. “You’re right. He was such a good friend and I realized what it must have done to him to offer himself to me in that way.” He tried to grin.” I’d hurt him more than any one person should ever be hurt.” I smiled apologetically.” “I’m surprised you didn’t tell on him right away. “Bye. even for just a little longer. being inside me.” “Why do you always have to love the wrong things. which I knew could very well be for the very last time. I didn’t believe you were sick like Charlie said. sure.” he said. you’re right. “I wish I could explain it to you right so that you would understand. I love him. Jake. “It makes no difference. staring into his eyes. Bells. I needed to be strong here and let him go. I thought for a moment.” “Will you come back again? Before…” “I’m not going to hang around and watch you die. And then.” I whispered. Would they artificially inseminate me with Jacob’s sperm? Or did Edward picture dropping me off at Jacob’s at night. either. I didn’t know if I would ever see him again. Love you. though does it?” “Not this time.” “Trust me. Literally.” “Don’t go. trying to lighten the mood again. looking at my hands.

Apparently he didn’t come up with anything. knowing it would be an invasion of his privacy and it would hurt Edward for me to ask him. I knew he had heard everything and more as he knew what Jacob was thinking. I saw concern. “There is something Jake mentioned and I need to talk to you about it. Was Edward starting to come around? Would he be able to see things my way? I certainly hoped so as he raised himself ever so slightly and gave me a tender. Try to understand why I want him. with him. but I shopped myself. “This is our child. to have a baby. Edward. Edward.I looked at the door and burst into long. hard sobs. It was a sweet moment and thankfully not painful at all. He dropped to his knees in front of me and grabbed my hands tightly in his. again. of being broken.” Our child gave a tiny little nudge right into Edward’s hands. probably trying to decide on an answer that would make me the least upset.’ I said pulling back from him to look into his eyes. whipping away my tears. so he simply said. how could you offer me to another man like that? I’m your wife. Try to respect that. Don’t you love me?” His eyes had a burning black fire in them. rubbing my back. I know things are hard right now. mine still filled with tears. “Yes. “Edward. I was almost tempted to ask Edward what Jake was thinking. but this time felt so final. “Of course I love you. Edward was at my side almost the minute my tears had started. my love. Don’t you see that’s why I did it? It would kill me to think of you…you. stroking my hair. It’s part of me and part of you. with him?” He looked at me. But you can’t just hand me over to another man. “Edward?” I said as my tears and sobs slowed. A small flicker of something that resembled wonder. He never said anything.” My eyes started to well up more. soft kiss on my lips. I’d said goodbye to Jake so many times before. . Edward looked at me and his eyes were just full of emotion. taking his hands and placing them on my stomach. I saw love and I saw something new. Me sitting here. He didn’t say anything so I looked into his eyes.” “I need for you to respect me. crying over Jacob Black.” He said soothingly. “Yes. “Did you suggest too Jacob that I could get rid of our child and trying again. Suddenly I remembered Jacob’s offer that really came from Edward and I was hurt and angry all over again. I was tired of feeling sad. try to love him. Doesn’t that mean anything to you anymore?” He just looked at me. This is our child. because I need you. permanent. but having you live and be happy would make it at least bearable. was bad enough. saying nothing. I need for you to try. He held me. I need for you to live. Bella. I am your wife and you are my husband and this-” I said. I saw fear. “I love you.