Lost in Time causes pain—fire burns, knives cut—but we’re

incapable of remembering the pain itself. That’s why

I sit on the bed next to Carrie and felt her forehead. after trauma of childbirth, women are ready to have

She was still burning up. baby again a year later. That’s why I guess, we fall in

"You're cute when you're worried," she muttered. "Your love again. That’s why in this place, at this moment, I

eyebrows get all scrunched together." was kissing the woman I once loved, a new woman

“Just rest now, don’t talk. Just sleep, so can feel better.” whom I might fall in love again. I had forgotten all the

Carrie buried her head my shoulder, and I told her, “Just pain of the past. I only knew that her lips were soft, that

close your eyes.” her body was warm, and her lips were searching mine. I

And that was when it happened. Carrie wrapped her didn’t want this moment to stop.

arms around me, pressed her head harder against my

shoulder and closed her eyes. I looked at her, and

touched her face. She opened her eyes, raised her head

towards mine, and before we knew what we were

doing, we were kissing.

They say you have memory of pain, and this proves it.

They say we only remember the fact that something

 Loving a Professor:

From the beginning to the end

Shemaiah C. Navejas
I Don’t Expect This I'm Kyle. I’m a graduating student in one of the

prestigious university in the country. And i think I’m

For the first time in my life, i felt whole, fantastic and falling in love with my professor. Don't misunderstand

contented. what I’ve said. I'm not someone who’s into old maids or

I'm a smart kid. Always know what’s the right thing to freakingly old ladies.

do and right decisions to choose. She's my substitute teacher in one of my subjects. She'd

For me, life is always a routine. I never care nor imagine just graduated few years ago and topped her board

what's happening around me. exam.

Don't misunderstand me as somekind of a goth, but i I mean, she's just as normal as my other young

just like to be alone in my own comfort zone. professors are but something about her that strucked

It makes me feel safe. It makes me feel whole in some me the very moment that i saw her. There's something

way or another that made me realize that I’m good in her eyes, smile, and gestures that i can't resist looking

enough for myself. at her. I look like stupid whenever she's around. I look

They say that falling in love or loving someone takes a like an idiot and a fool.

lot of patience and understanding. I really don't know For my entire life, i existed as to i what i wanted to be.

what this means in the first place. It’s because I’ve Free from any emotions that may affect my decisions,

never been in love in my entire life. my aspirations and my dreams. Never believing in love
or any ridiculous human emotions that affects anyone. command coming from my will. Then, at that moment, i

Until now. Until that I’ve learned to know that I’ve fallen felt a string, no, a million of strings started to connect

for her unconsciously. me to her. And this what happens next.

One rainy day, i met her in my classroom. She's got this

aura of a goddess. She's just someone that you can call

as typical normal girl that walks straight to the

classroom with a smiling face, with every male students

ogling at her. First, i really don’t notice her at all; I’m

busy checking my research papers for my other

subjects. And well I’m not really interested in listening

to that subject because i have a deadline to meet.

However, a voice inside my head is teasing me to take a

peak on what going on the class. That's when i first saw

her, and everything starts to move in a slow motion.

Little by little, i felt that my brain doesn't function

normally as it should be. My body doesn't obey any

II. New Teacher However, if we are outside these four walls, you are

free to call me by my name", she said.

"Good afternoon class, i am ms.yap, and I will be your

substitute teacher in this subject until Mrs. Molina "Wow! That would be cool. Btw, ma'am I’m just

comes back from her vacation", she said. curious. How old are you? I mean our ages are really

close isn't it? You don’t look like in late 20's or early

"Ma'am, can I ask you something?” said mike. Btw, 30's", Anna said.

Mike is one of my best buds. And he can be the most

annoying person in the world but he can also give you Anna is one of my close friends, and she had a crush on

the best advice that you could ask for. me that she admitted when we were in our second year

in college.

"Yes, Mr. Lewis, you can", said Ms. Yap.

“Your right, Ms. Chin. I’m just four years ahead of you",

"What’s your first name Ma'am?” said mike. said Ma'am Yap. "And I think you should stop now

interrogating me".

"It’s Carrie, but i don’t think you could call me by my She laughed after saying that.

first name here in class because I’m still your professor.

Then, the class laughed with her. And I found myself something, a smile crossed her face. I was too chicken

staring at her, still mesmerized. And then i joined my to do anything but look away.

classmates laugh, even though I’m laughing in my own

personal joke. After few months, I’ve overcome my shyness towards

her. I become more open about my thoughts, and i am

After that day, she became our friend. She became one back on my track. We (Carrie & me, we'll she allow me

of us; I mean she's in our peer group now. We to call her by her name even we we're in the campus as

wondered if it’s okay that she's with us, because for long as there's no teachers around the area) became

freaking shit, she's a professor for crying out loud. I said close little by little. The time came that i was able to

that she should be a role model. After i said that, she gather all my courage, and i planned to say to her what i

laughed and my friends joined her. I was so feel about her and ask her permission to court her.

embarrassed by that that i don’t talk the entire duration

of our meeting. She always in on what we’re doing. I

was still shy whenever she's around. She even joked me

that I’m so stiff and I’ll die early because i rarely smile.

Then, one time she caught me staring at her and

III. Unexpected Confessions Well most of my friends help me out to put up this

grandeur.

I was really nervous. I don’t know how I would say to

her what I felt. I don’t know how or in what way I will be Well she did come one time. She's stunning in her

able to tell my overwhelming emotions. I know that evening dress. This was one of my friend’s ideas, mostly

most of the time I know what to do and what plan I will the girls that we should be in formal attire because the

make, but this time I feel like I’m lost, I’m an idiot, and I said that it'll be romantic. However, for me i don't really

don’t know what to do. I got nothing left in my head so I understand what they mean about it. She's walking

asked for Mike's advice. Don’t ask me why for all the straight to me where i was, but still her eyes don’t meet

people I knew, he's the one I asked what to do. He is an mine. She's searching for us, then her eyes found mine,

idiot and always clumsy. and she smiled. And i think my knees trembled when

But he knows what to do. He knows the plans, and that she approach me. Most of the people who were there

plan will turn out to be good. rested their eyes in our table for a minute. And i think

The plan was to invite her out for dinner with us, but of the clock stops ticking at that moment.

course that would just me and her. Then, i will give her

flowers, tell her what i feel, and ask her permission to "Hi Kyle! You’re early. Where are the others?” she

court her. asked.

"Uhhmm. I don’t know. When i came here, there were very much alike. Like two different persons with same

no signs of them till now. I don't think that they'll be personality. We just talked and talked. Then i know in

coming", I said. myself that i needed now to divulge my feelings to her.

"Really? What happened to them? I thought that we "Car...” i started.

were all here.” she said. "Hmmm... what is it?” she asked.

"I lo-love you", i stammered.

“Let’s not spoil our night because they are not around. I There, i nailed those words, and i mean it from the

think we should eat now because I’m pretty starving, bottom of my heart.

and I know that you're hungry even though you don’t "wh-wh-what are you saying. wha-what... w-why... i

say it.", i said and laughed. don’t know what to say.", she managed to said.

"Haha. You're right. I am hungry. Then, let's eat", she "Please let me finish first before you react to this.

said. Please just let me say the words that I’ve been keeping

in my heart. Please let me say this to you. I know that

We had a good conversation while we're eating dinner. you're shocked on what you're hearing right now. But

We laughed at each other’s jokes. It’s like that we are what I’ve said is true. I love you. I have loved you since
the moment that i saw you. From that day that you've "Kyle, i don't know how to react on what you've just

entered the room and caught my attention. I have loved said to me a while ago. But i think we both need time to

you hopelessly. And I’m hoping that one day i may able think those things all over again. And i think it would be

to tell this to you. That i may able to have the courage best if we ignore each other", she said. After saying

to tell these words. I am new to this kind of emotion. I those words, she stood up and walked away.

don't know how to do these things right. But one thing

is for sure, i am happy and i don’t regret falling in love And there i was, still in shock. Staring at her as she

with you.” i said. walked away. I felt numb. I don’t know what to do. I felt

that the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I felt

Minutes past, none of us moved. She was just right cold. I can’t explain what i feel now. I felt a stabbing

there. Still in shock. She can't believe what I’ve said to pain in my heart. I wanted to scream but no voice

her. And here I am, waiting for her to say something. comes out. I wanted to cry but there's no tears falling. I

I'm confused, scared and hopeful at the same time. I wanted to tell her not to go away but i just can't. I

don’t know what's going on her mind. I wish I can read wanted to kill myself for what happened. I blamed

her thoughts right now. I wish I know what she felt. It's myself for this pain.

freaking me out. Then, she got hold of herself back.

IV. Torture “I really love her, man. I don’t know if i can still go on. I

tried to forget her, but i just can’t do it. I loved her so

A month passed. much that it hurts so bad", I cried.

She just ignored me whenever i come inside the room.

She just continues her lectures, and ignores me. But i “It’s gonna be fine. Don’t worry about it. If you can’t

know inside my heart that she's trying so hard to do this forget her, so be it. I know that you've tried so hard.

to make me forget my feelings about her. But it just And I think Carrie will see through it", Mike said.

can’t fade away. After the night that i told my feelings

to Carrie, my friends was about to ask me how did it go "Thanks dude. I know i can count on you", I croaked.

when they saw my expression and decided to drop the “So stop crying dude. You look like a gay. Haha... chill!",

subject. I only confided to Mike what happened that Mike said.

night, I told him what i felt about it.

He's just trying to make me laugh even though I’m in a

“Its gonna be alright, buddy. Things will work out. Don’t midst of my personal struggle. But i know in myself that

push yourself too hard.", Mike said. i need to face her, sooner or later. I found myself staring

at our last photos together with our friends. We were

so happy before. I just can't believe that i just ruined it

because of this stupid love that I’ve had for her. I lie V. The Great Happening
down in my bed, reminiscing the past. Thinking about

her until i fall asleep. I was walking in our school ground just like any other

day. Still having Carrie on my thoughts, I didn't notice

the person that i accidentally bumped with. I was about

to apologize for my behavior after I picked up all her

things to give it back to her, when i realized that it was

Carrie. Our eyes met, i felt my heart racing. We stared

at each other for a long time.

Then, she turns away and about to walked away but I

grabbed her hand and hugged her tight. I hugged her so

tight that i would not let her go. I didn't notice that

tears rolled down my face. And I could also hear her

sobbing. Struggling herself to free from my hug. Then, i

faced her one more time.

“Carrie, why do you keep avoiding and ignoring me. "Kyle, don't make this hard for me. Just forget what

Why are you making me miserable? Why are you doing you've felt for me. We can't be together. I'm old for

this to me? I love you. I care for you. And I do really, you. People will make fun of you, and you'll be hurt

really love you. Please don’t do this to me", I cried. eventually. I can't risk that for you.", she cried.

She was crying when I said that I loved her, again and

again. I know at that moment that she felt the same "I don't care what other people will say. I know only one

way about me. I saw it in her eyes that she loves me all thing, and that is I love you. I tried to forget you but I

along, and I was stupid that I didn't notice it before. I'm just can't. I know deep inside my heart that i can't let

thinking why she would ignore her feelings for me, you go. So please just let me love you. Let me take care

when she knew that I love her. of you. Don't hold back your feelings. Just for once,

obey what your heart tells you.", I said.

“I know that you love me. I can see it through your eyes.

Why do you keep ignoring me? Why do are you "You're just being impulsive right now. You don't know

stopping your feelings for me? Please tell me.", I what you're saying. I can't risk that. I know that you

croaked. truly love me but I'm afraid to let myself be with you.

What would they think about me or you.", she said.

"I'm not being impulsive. You knew that in your heart. smile that would light up a dark gray sky. The smile that

And I know what I'm saying. Don't be afraid to let I have been waiting to see. The smile that's been lost for

yourself try to show what you feel. I don't care what a while. And now I knew I she has given me chance to

they'll think about me, and I won't let them say prove my love and myself to her.

something about you that will degrade you. I promise

that to you", I said. "Carrie, again I love you and I'm asking you're

permission to let me court you. Can you give that to

We just stood there for a while. I can't take my eyes off me? Would you let me?", I asked.

of her. She’s still stunning even her eyes were puffy and

red. I know that she's thinking about what I've said. And "Yes, Kyle. I'll let you court me.", she said. Then, she

I know that eventually she will accept my love. I have to smiled.

wait for her. I just stood there, not minding the eyes

staring at us as they passed by. All I cared at this time is "Whoa! Is this true? Yes! I'm very happy. I promise that

Carrie. Then, she looked at me, the kind of look that I've you'll never regret this.", I said.

been waiting all these time. The look in her face that I

would trade anything that I have just to see her like Then, I swooped her up, and began running around,

that. She's there in front of me, smiling, and a radiant yelling. And we both laughed.
VI. Macau Proposal her father will think. So I give her that matter to decide.

We were happy whenever we're together. Of course my

I began to court Carrie after that day. I was so happy friends knew about these and they are happy for me.

that she let me. And I was also grateful that she allowed We enjoyed each other’s company for a while, and I

herself to be happy. My courtship has restrictions. I'm decided that I should take it slowly.

not allowed to tell her that I loved her while we're still I am now graduating. I felt that now my bonds to the

at school, of course that's because she's still a professor rule that prevent us to be together are destroyed. As I

and I'm a student in that University. They are strict begin with my speech as Summa Cum Laude for BS in

about teacher-student relationships. They never Business Administration, I looked at the crowd. On top

allowed that to happen. So now, I'm only allowed to do of the world. I was only looking for only one face at the

my courtship when we're not inside the campus. crowd. And when she smiled at me, I knew that I've just

However, this doesn't stop me from giving her flowers got my greatest graduation gift.

only being delivered by the flower shop. We were However, my education is still not finished yet. My

almost together every day. We ate our dinner together family urged me to proceed to Law, I only agreed when

almost every day, but not during weekends because she they say that they will let me choose the school that I

had it with her family. However, I still didn't get the prefer. So I chose a new school with good credentials in

chance to meet her family because she's afraid of what

Law. And now I am free to court her while she's in the After a week, I invited her to have a vacation in Macau. I

campus. told her that she needs a break from her work. I know

that professors can have a vacation break. So, she

agreed to go with me. We planned to stay there for

After four months... three days because we will have another trip to

Hongkong.

"Mike, how do you ask a girl to be your girl?", I asked.

In our second stay in Macau, I rented a whole Italian

"Uhhmm...Just asks her dude, like in wedding proposals. restaurant because she like's Italian cuisine, and my

Bring her in an island, prepare a romantic dinner with friends (namely Anna & Thalia) said that it's romantic.

flowers, chocolates, a bear because girl's love that. So, I asked the chef to prepare Carrie's favorites,

Then, you know what to do after that. Just ask her.", preparing the place, decorating it with white and yellow

Mike answered. roses since it's her favorite. Then, I bought the biggest

teddy bear that I could find in Macau, and her favorite

"Thanks dude. You're a life saver", I said. chocolates. Now, everything is settled.
 "Shall we eat now? We should finish this because I've

I asked her to come to Villa Margarita for our dinner at got something to tell you.” I said and smiled.

exactly 6:00pm. I am already there, 30 minutes early to

do some last minute preparations. Then, the time "Oh! Really? I think I know what you're going to tell me,

comes. I've never been immuned to her beauty. She's but I think I should hear it from you.", she said.

really stunning in her elegant black dress. I couldn’t help

myself, I'm still mesmerized. Then, she realized that i “Haha! Are you sure? Okay, let's eat now", I replied.

had planned this while entering the restaurant.

By the way, she's always the observant lady. She smiled We had a good conversation in our dinner. We laughed

when she saw me staring at her. And when she reached at each other's jokes. She keeps on teasing me on how I

my table, she hugged and kissed me on my check. made an effort to make this dinner date something

mysterious. I only smiled, and thinking that if only she

"Hi! You're always on time", I said. knew. As we finished eating our dinner, I ask her to walk

around the villa and she agreed. We kept on talking and

"Of course! I'm a teacher after all, I’m used in being one talking, well she'd done most of that.

time", she said. And then she laughed. She tells me all the things that are happening in my

previous university, our friends’ jobs and everything.

While she was talking there, I'm sweating like a nine "I was thinking . . ." My throat felt really dry.

year-old boy who wants to admit that he'd done

something wrong. I'm nervous on how I will ask her. I "Anyone in particular?" Carrie asked, her voice soft.

just remember what Mike said that just ask her, it’s just

as simple as drinking. Really, I'm going to strangle Mike I looked over and saw that she was trying not to smile.

for a great advice that he said. Then suddenly she

stopped talking, she noticed me not speaking for a short "You're laughing at me," I complained.

while so she asked me if I'm alright.

"I am not!"

"Kyle, are you okay? You look like you're going to be

sick", she said. Her voiced sounded worried. "You are so not making this easy."

"Yeah, I'm okay. It's just that I've something to ask you", Then she laughed for real, and she put her hands

I managed to say. Man, I'm so nervous. around my neck.

"Oh! What is it?" "I am never, ever going to make things easy for you. Get

used to it."
 I looked down at her and smiled and kept thinking how

"Okay, so here it is." I took a deep breath. "I love you, this woman made me so happy. She buried her face on

Carrie. Loving you is the most wonderful thing that my chest because she kept blushing. And I was grinning.

happened to me. Will you be my girlfriend?"

She smiled. And said the words that I wanted to hear

from her.

"Yes, Kyle. And I love you too."

Then she kissed me. When she kissed me, I had the

feeling my brain was melting right through my body. I

could've stayed that way forever, except cheering

behind us erupted. The staff of the Villa heard my

proposal and they are now cheering.

VII. Family Meeting get together with our friends once in a while, and they

kept teasing us. We just ignore them.

We went back to the country few days later. She

complained about going back to the university so I Two years passed surprisingly fast. We celebrated our

suggest that she could take a break for a day or two just anniversaries in Macau. We think that the place is

to relax. Meanwhile, I went back to my university memorable. I've also introduced her to my family and

checking if I missed a lot during my weekend "vacation" they really get along well with each other, especially my

that we've had. I knew that I've not missed anything younger sister, Silena. They are inseparable whenever

because most of our professors haven't gone to the Carrie was in our house. She always tagged along with

classes since it’s still the second week of the school her. I'm irritated sometimes because we can't have our

year. I have more time with her. Since our school is privacy whenever she's around. Carrie just smiled at

within the U-Belt, I could popped-up in her campus. We me, noticing that I'm irritated with my sister.

take our lunch almost together. We almost together

now every Saturdays, we watched movies together, we "She just grown on me", she mouthed.

we're having fun and enjoyed in each other's arms. We

we're happy and contented with our relationships. We

"I know. Isn't it enough that she always tagged along Now, I think that I need now to ask her why she still

with us whenever we have our dates? I mean that's hasn’t introduced me to her family. As far that I know,

really not good." she's also from a well-off Chinese family just like us.

Well, that's all I know about her family. I didn't have a

chance to meet them. Whenever, I ask her about her

"Just be patient with your sister. She's still a little girl". family, she just said that I will meet them but it’s not

the right time. I mean when will be the right time?

"You said so. But I'm still annoyed." We've been together for almost two years now; still I

haven't seen even her siblings. We are having one of

“I know and I can see it in your eyes. C'mon let me give our dates when I ask her again about her family.

you a treat. It'll make you forget for a while that you're

annoyed." "Hon, how's your family?"

"Really? I can't wait. Let's go" "Uhhmm... They're okay. Why are you asking all of the

sudden?"
"Just wondering about them. Hon, we've been long She agreed to introduce me to her parents. She said

enough right? I mean we're two years together now. that we will go to their house on Sunday. We will eat

Can you introduce me to your family now? I want to our lunch there, and then introduced me to them. Well

meet them. I want to make our relationship formal that if you asked me a week ago if I'm nervous about

you're family knows me and they know that I'm your meeting her family, I can say that I don't mind. But as

boyfriend and you're safe with me." the date approaches, man it really made me nervous. I

don't know how or what will I do. She told me that her

"Do you really want to meet them now? Are you ready? dad might not approve our relationship.

I warn you, they're all perfectionist. My father is a The day comes; I don't know what to wear to impress

conservative type, he might not agree with you" her family. I asked my brother what to wear, he advice

me to go for a smart polo and khaki slacks. These will

“I think I can handle that. Why would he not agree with make me look mature as well as formal. I come to her

me? Don't worry about it. It will work out." house at exactly eleven o' clock in the morning, as she

instructed me. She said that her father hates someone

"I hope so" that comes late. When I arrived, she meets me at their

gate. She is breath-taking as ever in her elegant summer

dress. She kissed me on my cheek and beckoned me to

go inside their house. Well, their house is the same as Carrie when she's still little; make me look at some of

ours. Eastern and western style combined, with a pool her baby pictures. I got along well with her family well.

in the middle of the house. Now I know why she feels at The time seems to move fast, it's almost dawn; still her

home in my house. She said that her father is not yet father didn't come home. I bid my farewell. Mrs. Yap

around due to some unavoidable problems in their wanted me to stay for dinner but I've said that my

company. I think that make her comfortable all this family is also expecting me at dinner. She just made me

time. Well, I get the chance to know her mother and promised to come back at their house once in a while.

siblings. She has three other siblings, two boys, and a Carrie walked with me to my car. I know she's happy

girl. She's the second oldest child. And what the heck, and relieved. However, she's still worried about her

her brother, the one after her is older than me for two father. I just tell her that I'm happy to meet her family,

years. I felt awkward and I know he feels awkward to. and time will come that I'll meet her father. I said my

Meanwhile, the youngest is still in high school. Her goodbye, and kissed her. Then, I drove my car on the

mother is very welcoming. Carrie has her features. way to my home.

She’s still beautiful even though she's in her fifties. She

still has her slim body. She welcomes me warmly; I felt

that she trusted me with her daughter. I know that she

liked me. I sighed in relief. She told me stories about

VIII. Fighting for business suit, and drove to the restaurant that Carrie

told me.

I was busy in my thesis for my major subjects, practicing I arrived there earlier than the time, and then I walked

law, and having my internship in Law Firms. I got a little to the area that has been reserved for us. I waited for

time now for Carrie, still she understands my schedule. almost ten minutes, and then I saw him. He is a typical

We still make sure that we have time for each other. Chinese old man with an indescribable authoritative

We just meet four times a week because of my hectic aura. He can make you feel intimidated in an instant.

schedule. And I'm really missing her. I hope that I can Then, he told me to sit down. He then ordered the food.

graduate soon so that we can have more time together. He told me that this meeting would be just brief. He

A year passed. I only have one year left in my Law asked me questions about myself.

School. This explains all my busy scheds, etc. Still a year

passed that I don't get the chance to meet her father. "How old are you?", he asked.

Surprisingly, she called me and told me that her father

wants me to meet him. Now, I felt suddenly nervous "I am 22 years old, Sir."

about that. I have a bad feeling about this. I just didn't

know why. The day came and I dressed myself in "Are you working now?"
"No sir. I'm still studying." He said those words with full of declaration. Chills went

down my spine. I was in shocked. My girlfriend's father

"No? Still studying?" doesn't like me for her daughter. He looked at me and

make sure that I was listening. Then, he continued

"Yes sir. I'm still in my third year in Law School." speaking.

"Tell me about yourself." "You're too young for her. I have already arranged her

marriage. End you're relationship with her. Our meeting

“I’m Kyle James Lee, sir. I graduated as Summa Cum is over."

Laude in my Business Administration course in De

LaSalle University. I got my MB in NYU. Now, I'm After saying those words, he got up and walked away. I

studying Law in Ateneo." was dumbfounded. I can't believe that is happening to

me, to us. I called Carrie but she won't pick up. I called

“That’s very impressive young man but I don't like you Stephen, her brother, and I found out that their father

for my daughter." had told Carrie to end her relationship with me or I'll

suffer. I began to get mad at her father. He has no right

to control Carrie's feeling. I went at her house to talk to

Carrie but her father stopped me, and told me to go IX. Giving up Carrie
away or else he will phone police to pick me up. I would

not go but Mrs. Yap asked me to. Then, she secretly told Next day. I go at the restaurant that she told me. She
me to meet her in one of the restaurants in Greenbelt was already there waiting for me, holding something. I
because she has something to give me. don't know what it is. Then when I reached her table,

she told me to sit down. She has a friendly smile on her

family.

"Hi Kyle. You might wonder why I told you to come

here."

"Yes ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am. Nothing changes between us. I'm

still your tita. And I approve your relationship with my

daughter. I know that you really love her, and she loves
you also deeply. So please listen to me if you really love "I'm okay. How about you?" Her voice is cracked. I know

and make things easier for her." that she's been crying.

"Yes tita. What is it?" "I'm confused. I don't know what to do. Are you sure

that this is what you really wanted?"

Then, she told me her plan. She told me that I should

stop seeing Carrie. She said that Carrie wants this too. "Yes. This is the right decision. If we can make this

She also said that I need to finish my studies first and through and I know that we we're really meant to be."

become a lawyer. This is to make myself be known in

the society so that we will not be criticized. She told me "I'm hoping that you're right. Then, this is it. This is

that she will make sure that the arranged marriage will really goodbye. If I graduated and become successful, I'll

not be pursued. Then, she told me that she will grant find you. And if you're still single, I'll marry you. I love

me one last call to Carrie. To settle things and to say you Carrie."

goodbye for the meantime.

“I love you to Kyle. Please be safe for me. Goodbye."

"Hello Carrie, it’s me. Are you alright?"

The call ended. I gave the phone back to Carrie's mom.

She then hugged me when she saw that I was fighting

back the tears in my eyes. She told me to go on with my

life. If Carrie and I are really meant to be, then we are

destined to be with each other even though time or

distance stands between us. And our right time will be

finding its way to us. Then, she left. PART II

X. The Bachelor
 He's like Mike; I think I've myself an American version of

I decided to spent my last year abroad. I become a my college friend. And I've also found someone new.

transferee student in one of the IVY League Colleges in Her name is Jasmine. She's also a lawyer in the firm that

the U.S. It was Harvard. The study is really tough; I worked with. She's Filipino-American, and her family

however they really give you an excellent training. migrated in U.S when she's still young. She makes me

Before I graduated, I've had my internship in one of the happy; she filled-in my longing for love. We became

most popular law firms in U.S. Then, I graduated there friends, and then I asked her to be my girlfriend. We've

with flying colors. Then, I took the State Bar Exam in been together now for almost a year. She already

New York, and I've passed it. My parents have been introduced me to her family, and when my parents

proud of me. I decided to work there for two years. I've come to New York, I introduced her to them. She also

become successful; I've made my name in Manhattan. knew about my past, and told me that

My life is great. I have good credentials; I have been in She will help me to forget. But I know in my heart and in

an International firm. I've earned the respects of the my mind that I will love Carrie forever, until my last

Upper East Siders. I've been made as an associate dying breath. I know that I'm being unfair to Jasmine

partner in my firm. Bryan Wills, my associate partner but I think that's how mysterious love is, you just forget

have been my bestfriend in U.S, like me he is also a someone whom you loved. However, I did my best to be

Harvard alumnus. He's just a few years earlier than I am. the best man to Jasmine, to make her happy as much as
I can. I'll do my best. If not because of her I can't survive I waited for her response but it seems that she's still in

the loneliness that I've had been through. shock. Then when she comes back to her senses, she

The night that I ask her to be my girl... just smiled and said. "Yes". Then we kissed.

We were having one of our evening dates in Bon

Appetite, her favorite French restaurant. I brought her a One night, I've got a call from my mother she told me

bouquet of tulips because it’s her favorite. that I need to go home because my father suffers a

heart attack. She told me that no one will take over the

"Hey James, what's with that serious face. It doesn't suit company since my father still has to rest. My brother is

you", she said laughing. a doctor, he have no background in business. I know

that I've got to come home. After two years of working

"Jas, stop messing around. I want to be serious at this in New York, I will leave this place that I've learned to

moment. I'm going to ask you something and I need you love. I passed my resignation letter to my partner. I told

to answer me seriously, this is important" him that I need to go home, and I've had a great time

working in the firm. He understands me, and he wished

"Okay, what is it?" me luck. He also said that I'll be welcome if I'll be going

back. Saying goodbye to Jasmine is the hardest part,

I took a deep breath and said. "Will you be my girl?" she kept crying. She told me that she'd going to miss
me. But hey, don't misunderstand, we are not breaking

up. She specifically told me that we don't have to break After three cramped and claustrophobic meals, two

up. She told me that our long distance relationship will blurry movies (one romantic comedy and one suspense

work out. Because I also loved her, it’s hard to let her thriller movie), two magazines, a book and a

go. And we promised that we will be trying our best to newspaper, and five lousy hour of sleep, I arrived in

work it out. Then, I had my farewell party at a club near Manila. Bone-tired and glad only to be out of airline

Fifth Avenue. We had a great time. And as I stared in chair, I passed through immigration and baggage claim.

the window, I saw the lively life that I've had here in It's been three years; I thought to myself, it's already

two years, and now I will bid my farewell to it. I'm been three years since the last time that I've been here.

coming home. Manila really does change. As I get passed out the

terminal, I saw a small crowd gathered there. I see my

brother, David and her wife, Rachel; my father who is in

wheelchair now and my lovely mother; and lastly my

annoying sister, Silena. God, she grown so much over

these years. She's now running towards me with her

arms waving in the air.

XI. Coming Home

"Kyle! Brother, I miss you. Wow! You've grown really "You're older brother and sister is telling truth, Kyle.

tall. What's your height right now? You are really You have become famous, here in the country. Your

famous. You are in TV and even the president wants to cases have been viewed by the top lawyers here. Even

meet you in person. Haha...just kidding Kyle. But really you're professors in Ateneo called and congratulates

you are really famous, you know. They said that you are you.", my mom said.

the most trusted lawyer in Manhattan. And you're the

newest member of the New York's Upper East Side.", "Mom, really? I should pay my former professors a visit

Silena said. then. Dad, are you okay now. How’s the company

going?"

"That's right bro. My fellow doctors have been talking

about you. They said that you are brilliant. Most of the "I’m okay, don’t worry about me. Our Company is

nurses in my hospital I think have a crush on you.", growing bigger. You are going to be the heir of our

David said. business empire, son. Btw, you're going to be the

General-Manager of the Company.", my dad said.

"Oh c'mon! Stop kidding guys."

"Don't worry about it dad. I'll tend it later. Let's go

home."
As we drive to our home, I've seen some familiar reunion for the last three years. We were having our

infrastructures that still standing and some new conversations smoothly.

buildings. My brother said that there have been a lot of

new buildings in Manila. The pollution becomes worse "Kyle how's jasmine?” my mom asked.

as before. That's why my family build a Villa in Tagaytay

to get some fresh air and have a refreshing vacation. "She's fine. She told me to send her regards to all of

I've slept for the rest of the day because of jetlag. I've you. She might come here if she had time."

felt that my body is aching really bad that I instantly fell

asleep. The next day, I found my entire family eating "Oh! Tell her thanks."

breakfast. It was Sunday morning, my brother and his

family were in our house for our family lunch together. "I'll tell her that mom."

My nephew, Matthew has grown. We got along with

each other. Then, after lunch my father oriented me After this day, I'm going to be back with my hectic

about some of the company's newest works, proposals, schedule but not as a lawyer but as the general-

etc. He said that he already told his secretary to provide manager of our company. I can't sleep maybe because

me a tour once I get there. We have our best family of my adjusting biological clock. However, something

caught my eyes. A picture of a lady beside my drawer.

When I looked at it, I felt a stabbing pain in my chest, it XII. Remarkable Place
is Carrie's photo. Memories keep flooding back. I was

thinking about it until I sleep. First day in the company.

I am warmly welcome by our staffs and employees. I

have my grand tour in our different buildings. Man, I

never knew that our business really expanded up to this

far. I really salute my dad for this. We have now a big

and large group of companies. We have airlines,

shopping malls, automation or cars, hospital,

restaurants, hotels, law firms, networks, and some

investments in other companies. All of our staffs are

hard-workers, they are polite and most of all loved their

work very much. I begin the latest project of our

company with the help of the creative team. It is almost

lunch; I decided to call my sister to have lunch with me.

Gee, I do really miss her because I asked her for lunch.

She was now in her graduating high school year in De

LaSalle University. I picked her up, she told me to wait "Sure. Just lead the way."

for her in the university's ground field. I felt I'm

reminiscing the past wherein, Carrie and I are walking It was an elegant restaurant btw. It has the same

across with our hands hold tight with each other. Those features as Villa Margarita in Macau, the restaurant

memories just made me feel sad. Then, I saw my sister where I asked Carrie to be my girlfriend. I really liked

walking towards me. the place. We ordered their specialty. I really enjoyed

I also walk towards her. the place. And my sister knew the girl who owned the

restaurant. I think she just graduated college. When I

"Kyle, sorry for being late. I've still have to finish my talked to her, I felt something. She's really familiar to

work before I went her. Btw, where we are eating?" me. I just couldn’t remember where I met her. She told

me that she and her sister own this restaurant. She told

"Uhhmm... Where do you want?" me that her sister liked Italian cuisine, and since she's a

chef, she helped her sister put up this place. It is only

"In Villa Christina, it's an Italian restaurant just a couple opened for about a year ago.

of blocks away from here. They really cooked delicious The time is really running fast. I need to go back to the

pasta. Is it okay, Kyle?" office. I have many things to do. So, I bid my goodbye to

my sister since she's still talking to Trixie (it's the chef's

name). Then, I went back to the car and drive back to XIII. Painkiller
the company.

Few months passed, I learned how to operate the

company smoothly. I've got a call from Jasmine telling

me that she will be coming in the Philippines next week.

I've already prepared her suit room in the hotel.

On the day of Jas' arrival...

I waited at the airport terminal for Jas' plane to arrive.

After 30 minutes, Jasmine's plane arrives. I saw her. She

didn't look like she had just taken a series of long flights.

Her face was bright. She was dressed in a designer's

elegant, white dress. She was having her quick steps

towards me. When she approached me. She threw me

her big, warm hug. Then, she kissed me.

"Hi there handsome. How are you? God, I miss you so change her clothes; we are going to have dinner with

much", she said. my family.

This is the first time that my entire family meet Jasmine.

"I'm Okay. How about you? How's the firm? Anything Mom and Dad talked to her. As well as David and

new? Rachel. Meanwhile, Silena is kind of weird. She said that

she's just not in the mood, so I apologize for Silena's

"I'm fine. The firm's okay. Bryan's taking good care of it. behavior. After the night, I drove her back to the hotel.

But he's still hoping that you'll be back."

She told me that she wants to visit some places. Then I

"I've missed Manhattan but everything here is more told her about the Italian restaurant that Silena and I

important than that. I miss you too Jas." went. She wants to go there so I promised to go there

with her. But I don't know that something's about to

"I know. That's why I come here. C'mon let's eat I'm happen. Something that will be unavoidable. Something

starving." that roots in my past that has been left unfinished,

undiscussed, and unforgettable.

Well, we spent the entire half day touring her around.

Then, she went back to the hotel to take a shower and

 Having Jasmine around makes me forget all my

problems. She's my painkiller, my solution, and my

diversion. She always supports me in whatever

decisions that I will make. She's my friend and also my

PART III girlfriend, but what I feel about her is not the same as

what I've felt with Carrie before. The feeling that I just

have with her right now is more like a new growing

emotion, a young love that is delicate and you really

have to tend and take good care. I know that in my

heart that I'm being unfair to her. I know that she

deeply love me but I just can't replace her love the way

she has for me.

Sometimes, love is tricky. You don't know what will

happen next. You can't predict that it always has a

happy ending. As some old saying says, a great and true

love sometimes ends with a tragedy. I know that it's

XIV. Unexpected Meeting

true because what I had with Carrie before and even place was full, a mixture of students, peer group and

now is somewhat I called true love. It's an innocent love families were there to have their lunch. Since, the chef

that I have fought it in order to let it stay with me. But I and Silena are friends, she give us seats. A table for two

guess not all people who fell in love got the ending that near a small cabin just like the table I had in Macau with

they've wanted. I know that I promised Carrie that if we Carrie. The memories of the past keep coming back in

meet again, I will marry her. However, right now in my my mind.

present situation, I can't make it. I've learned to love We ordered our food after a short while. She just orders

Jasmine as time goes by. That love eventually grows pasta because I knew that she didn't like Italian food.

however it’s still young that it can't last. She just comes here out of her curiosity. After we finish

Since its Saturday and I've got no office, I've already our meal, Jasmine went to the restroom. My eyes

done most of my work, I brought Jasmine to the Villa roamed around the room, I notice that a photograph of

Cristina, the Italian restaurant that she wanted to visit. a young couple is hanged near the counter. As I looked

As we drove there, I felt something heavy in my chest. I at it, the colors are already fading however it's still

don't know what this kind of feeling that I’ve had is. It's beautiful. Then, I stood up and approach the counter.

just that something could happen. And I didn't know As I walked towards it, I felt nervous. I feel sometime

that it will complicate things and made a huge change in that makes me sad and longing for something that I

my life. We arrive in Villa Cristina almost lunchtime. The haven’t had. Something that I really wanted to have.
I was about to ask the staff if they knew the couple in When, I turned to face the manager. I am shocked to

the picture when the manager's door opened, and see who it is. I felt that my heart is going to explode. My

someone come out. I don't mind it. I am having serious eyes begin to water. The woman in front of me right

conversation with the staff if maybe they could call the now, the manager of this restaurant, and my first and

owner to let me buy the photograph. When, suddenly a true love and the woman whom I continuously loved

voice behind me said something. until now is the same person. It is Carrie.

Realization now comes to me. That's why this place is

"I'm sorry sir but the photo's not for sale", the voice the same as Villa Margarita in Macau. That's why Trixie

said. is so familiar to me. That's why I felt nostalgic while I'm

in this place. It's because she owned this.

It was a soft, calm and relaxing voice. I knew that it

could only belong to a lady. However, I felt that the When our eyes met, I see that she is also shocked. Pain,

voice seems so familiar. And I felt sudden tug in my loneliness, longing, resentment, joy are painted in her

heart. I really want that photo so I plan to bargain with face. She looks like she wants to hugged me, or say have

her. I can't keep my mind off that photo. It is vaguely something to say. I also felt the same thing. I also

familiar to me. wanted to hug her tight, to say that I've missed her so

much. To ask her if she's alright. To be with her.

 "I understand"

I am about to ask her when someone tapped me in my

back. I turned around to know who it was. It was "James, she is right. You can't just force her to let you

Jasmine. She wondered where I went when she comes buy the photo. As what she had said it is important to

back and found out that I wasn't there. I look at Jasmine her.", said Carrie.

and then to Carrie. I wanted to die right now. I'm

stucked in an unavoidable situation. I don't know what "Yes, I know that."

to do. Jasmine's my girlfriend, she come halfway around

the world to be with me. Now, I'm facing my ex- "Btw, Miss...?"

girlfriend, Carrie whom I loved all my life. My first love. I

really don't know what to do. I'm confused. "It's Carrie Yap; I'm the manager and the owner of this

Suddenly, Carrie broke the silence. restaurant."

"Sir, I'm really sorry but the photo is not for sale. It's my "Carrie, I'm sorry for my boyfriend's behavior. He isn't

precious and valued treasure. It has sentimental value that impulsive. He might have really like the photo. Btw,

that's why I can't sell it to you or anyone else", Carrie I'm Jasmine Chase, and this is my boyfriend, James

said. Lee.", Jasmine said.

 "Bye", I said looking straight into her eyes. At this

"It's okay. He really might be really interested in that moment, I really wanted to hug her badly.

photo. Btw, I have to attend some clients. Nice meeting

you Jasmine. Hope you liked our food." "Bye.", Carrie said. Then, turned away.

"Yeah. I do. I like your putanessca. James seems to like

all Italian food."

"Glad to hear that."

"It's the truth. I think I'm gonna like it here. I'll come

back. We can talk about this place. I want to know how

this started."

"Yes. You can come here anytime."

XV. Shocked

"Thanks Carrie. I think we'll go also. Bye."

I was now driving home, I've already drive Jasmine to

the hotel. I'm confused now. I don't know what I will do.
I know that I love Jasmine, but when I saw Carrie again, Then something comes into my mind. Something that I

I a sudden tug in my chest. My heart began pumping haven't even asked to myself. And the answer to that

hard. I don't know how to explain this. It's like my question will help me.

feelings for her are never gone nor lost. It's like it is here

all along, hiding and waiting for the right time. "Dad."

When I arrive in our house, I went straight to our study "What is it?"

room to think. I thought no one's there but I saw my

dad looking at his and mom's weeding pictures. I go to "Dad, how did you know that mom's the one?"

him and ask him what he is doing with all those

pictures. "Uhhmm...I just felt in my heart that she is the one

"I'm just looking at my face and your mom's face when whom I wanted to be with the rest of my life. The one

we were young. Look at these pictures; we were just whom I want to be the mother of my children. The one

having our first anniversary as a couple. I'm very happy who still makes my heart race. Makes me feel happy at

to marry her.", my dad said. all time. One look at her and I forget all my worries."
"Dad, have you been in a situation wherein you're not again. My father seems to understand what I've felt. He

sure about who do you love?" just continued to listen to me.

"No. Kyle, is something wrong? What happened?" "So, what are you going to do, son?"

"Dad, I think I made a big mistake. A mistake that will "What am I going to do? There's only one thing to do."

break my heart or break someone else heart."

"What's that?"

"Why what really happened?"

"I'm going to choose."

I told my dad everything that I've been thinking.

Everything that I feel. Everything that's on my mind. I

told him what I've felt about Jasmine, my reaction when

I saw Carrie again, the weird feeling that I've felt when I

saw her again, and my feelings about her. I've told him

the strange feelings that I've felt when I saw Carrie XVI. Asking for Advice
I'm in my room, lying on the bed staring at the ceiling. "Hey buddy!", I said.

Thinking about what decision will come in my mind. I

know that in whatever decision that I will make there "Whoa dude, it's that really you. Jeez, you changed a

will be a person who will get hurt. I just need to make a lot, man."

right decision that I won't regret in my whole life.

My memory flies back on Carrie. The memory when I "So does you. How are you by the way?"

saw her again in the restaurant. She becomes mature

and dressed in smart dress. She changed since the last "I'm fine. I'm working in my new agency for three years

time we saw each other. I know that I've also changed. now. How about you? From what I've heard you've

I've become a well-known lawyer in New York. My life become a big shot lawyer in the States."

changed since then.

Still one thing never changes. My feelings. She's still the "Yeah. But I'm back in the country now. My dad needs

woman that I've fallen in love with. She may have to rest, so I took over the company."

changed a lot but my heart still recognizes her. I

decided to meet my old friend mike. We decided to go "Heard about that heart attack. It's all in TV; CEO of LEE

to a bar in Libis. Co. suffered a heart attack, etc. How's tito now?"
"He's fine. I think he needs total rest."

"It will be alright, man. Trust in yourself."

"Btw, Kyle have you met Carrie?"

"Yes, I have. Mike, and that’s my problem."

"What is it?"

"I have a girlfriend now but when I saw Carrie again, I

felt that I love her more than Jasmine. What should I

do?"

"Man, that's really a big problem. I don't know. Maybe XVII. Unfair
what you have to do is follow what your heart tells

you." I'm in my office. My brother is dropping by. We were

having our conversations about it. My family knows

"I know this is really hard. I’m so confused." about my problem. My mother and sister give me
privacy in that matter. But I know that they are worried "Have you made your decision?"

about me. They knew the real reason why I left for

States three years ago. The reason that driven me to "I haven't yet. I just need some time. I have to think

keep myself busy and to try to live on. My brother is the about this thoroughly."

one of the few people whom I've told what I've been

having these days. He gives me advice that's a big help "If you need help you know that we're here, right. We'll

for me. support you in whatever decisions that you'll make."

"Kyle, can I come in", my brother said, knocking on the "Thanks a lot bro."

door.

"We're a family Kyle, you know that. Alright, I have to

"Yeah come in." go home. Rachel's cooking my fave food. See you this

weekend."

"So how are you holdin' up?"

"Go ahead. Drive safely."

"Fine, I guess."

"Yeah, you go home too."

 I feel guilty that I lied to her. I know that I'm being

selfish and unfair to her, but I need to find myself. She's

really patient and understanding to me, and I don't

think I deserve all of it. She loved me as much as she

can but I can't love her fully.

I drive my car absent minded, I just drive and drive.

Then when I stopped the car, I'm surprised to see that

I'm in Carrie's restaurant.

The restaurant seems closed but the door is open so I

went straight inside the restaurant. She might heard

XVIII. Pouring Rain that someone come in.

After having a conversation with my brother, I decided "I'm sorry but we're closed. You can---." She stopped

to go home early. Jasmine called me to come to the when she saw me.

hotel but I refused. Is said that I'm not feeling well, and I

need rest. She seems to be worried but I told her that "Hi." That's all I managed to say.

I'll be fine.
"Why are you here Kyle?" Her voice seemed cold but I "Don't bother. I understand." Her voice is trembling.

felt sadness in it. She's fighting back her tears.

She turned away and walked to the garden. I walked "I need to do this. I want you to know everything." I

after her and grabbed her hand. touched her face, but she turned away. And it started to

rain, still none of us moved.

"I need to talk to you."

"Don't do this Kyle. You have a girlfriend now. Jasmine

"Why? I think there's no need for that." is nice. She's right for you. I understand you. And it's my

entire fault why we ended like this." Tears finally

"I need to explain." started to roll down her cheek.

"Why bother Kyle? I'm not your girlfriend." "Carrie, don't say that please. It's my fault. I should have

fight for you even though you told me not to. I should

"I just need to explain to you all of it." have tried. I should have not given you up."
"Stop now Kyle. It's already the past. It won't come back

now."

"I tried but I just can't."

"Oh God. Don't say that Kyle."

"It's the truth. I'm still in love with you."

"Don’t say that" After she said those words, she XIX. Unplanned Situation
collapsed and falls on the ground.

Carrie collapsed in the rain. I ran towards her. She's

burning with fever. I knew that she might have a fever

already that's why she closed the restaurant too early. I

don't know where she's staying now. So I brought her to

my pad. On the way, I buy some medicines for her and

food.
I called my brother to ask him on what should do to a She didn't reply. She just eats her porridge and takes

person with fever. He told me all the thing I wanted to her medicine quietly, then went back to bed.

know, then he asked me if Jasmine is sick, I just avoided

it and told him that I'll hung up. I sit on the bed next to Carrie and felt her forehead. She

I took care of Carrie. She wakes up after 5hours. was still burning up.

"Where am I?" "You're cute when you're worried," she muttered. "Your

eyebrows get all scrunched together."

"You're in my place. You collapsed because you have a

fever. Eat this porridge first then take this medicine. You “Just rest now, don’t talk. Just sleep, so you can feel

need this. Then, take a rest." better.”

"Why are you doing this Kyle?" Carrie buried her head my shoulder, and I told her, “Just

close your eyes.”

"Like what I've said earlier. I love you. I just don't know

why but I'm still in love with you." And that was when it happened. Carrie wrapped her

arms around me, pressed her head harder against my

shoulder and closed her eyes. I looked at her, and I wake up in the morning with her by my side. I saw her

touched her face. She opened her eyes, raised her head studying my face. She's crying. I was about to say

towards mine, and before we knew what we were something. But she stopped me.

doing, we were kissing. They say you have memory of

pain, and this proves it. They say we only remember the "Don't say anything.” she said with tears in her eyes.

fact that something causes pain—fire burns, knives cut "Last night was wonderful."

—but we’re incapable of remembering the pain itself.

That’s why after trauma of childbirth, women are ready She then get up from the bed and dressed quickly. I get

to have baby again a year later. That’s why I guess, we out from the bed too. I reached out and touched her

fall in love again. That’s why in this place, at this arm, just above the elbow.

moment, I was kissing the woman I once loved, a new "Don't", she said, closing her eyes. "I can't think."

woman whom I might fall in love again. I had forgotten

all the pain of the past. I only knew that her lips were "Who wants to think?"

soft, that her body was warm, and her lips were

searching mine. I didn’t want this moment to stop. "I need to think.” she said opening her eyes. "This..."

We spent the rest of the night as Mr. & Mrs. Lee. she said, searching for words, "this wasn't supposed to
happen! This was the last thing that supposed to

happen!" "I don't want to hurt her. She has been my friend since

we've met. Just forget me. It's just this way it is"

"You don't sound unhappy," I told her, touching her

face. "Carrie, please."

She kissed the palm of my hand. "No," she said. "Not "No, Kyle. We have to stop this."

unhappy at all. But we need to think this through." She

took my hand and placed it together with hers. "What XX. Hardest Part
just happened?"

For the rest of the day, Carrie and I are together. I know
"The thing that supposed to happened." that I've choose Carrie over Jasmine. It's what my heart

tells me to. This will be hard for Jasmine but she's tough
"What about Jasmine? I don't think that is right we have I know that she'll understand.
to stop this." I called her. She seems to notice the tone of my voice.

"I'll tell her everything." "Hi"

 She is walking straight to my table. She looked sad, as

"Kyle, are you alright?" though she already knew what I’m going to say to her.

"Yes. Can you meet me in Cafe Simeon here in Makati? I “Hi hon." I got up and she kissed me. I feel something

have something to tell you." about that kiss. A strangle feeling of longingness and

loneliness.

"Oh! Yes, I go there.” she said. "And Btw Kyle, I love

you." "Hi. Are you hungry?"

I'm surprise by her words. I couldn't tell her back the

words that she has said. "No. I just had my lunch a while ago."

"Okay, I'll see you there." I managed to say. "So you're not hungry."

I'm in Cafe Simeon at exactly 2p.m. waiting for Jasmine. "Really James, what are you going to tell me? Can you

Feeling guilty about what I’m going to say to her. I'm please tell me now?" Tears now starting to fall down.

nervous about this. After a few minutes, I saw her.

"Jasmine, I--I'm sorry." I stammered. I don't expect this. "Is this about Carrie? You're ex-girlfriend whom you

She knew already. It's breaking my heart to see her cry. can't forget. The reason why you can't fully love me,

She's the woman who mends my broken heart when I right?"

was broken but now I am breaking hers. I felt awful with

myself. She's been so good to me. And this is how I "Jasmine.., I--I... You...”

repay her.

"Yes James, I knew that your ex-girlfriend and the

"James, will you tell me all of it. I can handle this." owner of the restaurant who named Carrie are the

same person. I saw your shocked and painful expression

"Jas, are you sure?" when you saw her that night. I know right there that

you're still in love with her."

"Yes, I want to know the truth."

"But I love you."

"There's a lot of going on right now."

"Yes, I know that too but the love that you have for her

is deeper than what you've had for me. It hurts like hell

but I know that someday; little by little I can accept this.

I love you. I just want to be happy even though this "What happened betwen the both of us is wonderful.

means letting you go and hurting myself." I'm glad it happpened. It will be a part of my life."

"Jas, I don't know what to say. There's a lot of going on A pause came betweeen us as Jasmine prepared herself

right now." to say something difficult.

"If you're worried about me," Jasmine began, preparing "What we have now is a young love," she said. "It’s not

to say words she had been planning in her head to say, a complete love yet." It was a statement, not a

"don't be, I'm a big girl." question.

"You don't even know what I'm going to do", I said. "No," I agreed. "It can be though, for longer than you

know."

"I know you, James," she said. "We've been together for

a year; I do know you well enough. You don't have to "Well, that's over," she said. "And you and I are both

tell me anything." different people now"

"I like the person you've become," I said, matter-of-fact.

 I knew she was right. A part of me is glad that she

Jasmine didn't expect that and she was little flustered, knows it. We were both quiet for a while. Jasmine had

looking at the table and back at me a number of times. finished what she had to say. Now is my turn to tell her

I'll never stop liking who you are. I'll miss to just be with everything that I wanted to say.

you. We connect, you know?" "Jasmine, I have so many things that I wanted to tell you

but I just don't know how to put it into words. Let me

Jasmine became serious then, saying, "I like to think start by saying I love you. I do love you. I know in my

that this could turn into a real love someday, but right hard that I did. It’s just that it was strong enough to go

now it's not, and here we are: I have to give you up. on. I would be a hypocrite if I say that I've stop loving

"There's only room in your heart for one," Jasmine went Carrie. I love her continuously. I never stopped loving

on. "That's just who you are. It’s not possible for you to her but it just keep on going on subconsciously. My

love two people at the same time. You’ve got a big mind tells me to forget her, and focused on my love for

heart, kiddo, but there's only one chair inside, and we you entirely but my heart doesn’t follow my mind at all

both know who's sitting there. She's been there all it seems like that it has a mind of its own. I tried to

along." forget about her, but I just can't. I know that I can't

ignore what I felt for her"

"I know that. That's why I'm letting you go now." As a stood up, I went beside her and hugged her tight. I

kissed her for the last time. Life being unfair. It gave me

"Thank you, Jas. I'm awful to you. You've mend my Jasmine only to mend my heart and hurt her. She

broken heart still I can't replace your love. Hope you can deserves someone better than me. I’m going to

find someone new. Someone who will treat you like a remember this woman. And she would be my biggest

princess. Someone who will not make you cry. Someone what if.

who could love you fully. It's just bad that I can't do it." Then, I walked out, and went straight to my car.

"I hope so. I want you to be happy. Go now. Be happy. I

want you to live your life with no regrets. Don't you

dare to give up. Just promise me that."

"I promise, Jas. Take care of yourself. Thank you. I want

to say this to you. I loved you, and thanks for letting me

go." XXI. Across the Universe

After my conversation with Jasmine, I went straight to find Carrie. First I went to the faculty room, there are

Carrie. I don't know what to expect from this. But I'm many professors in the office but there's no sign of her.

sure with one thing, I'm going to the woman i loved, I was about to go out the room when someone grabbed

and keep loving until now. The woman who taught me my arm. It was my professor back in my college years

how to love, broke my heart, and gave me a lesson in here, Mr. Santillan. He had been one of my favorite

life that's why I am who I am now. I called her but she professors here. He's an intelligent man, and a good

didn't pick up. I guess it's because she wants to cut me counselor. Among the faculty members here, he's the

out of her life. But I'm not going to let that happen. only one who knew that Carrie and I had a relationship.

He understand us, he gives us advices.

I went to her restaurant but she's not there. Her staff

told me that she might be in the University. Her sister, "Mr. Lee is that you?"

Trixie saw me and told that her sister never quitted her

job as a professor in DLSU even though their father told "Yes, Prof.Santillan."

her to. She told me that Carrie said that it’s the only

place that she valued most. After I've heard it, I run "You've grown into a fine young man. Being one of the

through the door, stepped into the car and drive famous lawyers in the US, you've made us proud Atty.

straight to the University. I parked my car then went to Lee."

 where she is. As I passed the buildings that have been

"Thank you, Sir." witnessed to our love, I begin to reminisce the past. I

remember how I struggle to confess my love to her. This

"Looking for someone?" is the place where it all started. The place that

witnessed our love for each other. The place that has

"Yes. You do always knew me professor" been significant to our lives. I went to the place where

she said that she'd given me her permission to court

"OF course young man. People who are in love are easy her. The place where we can feel that we were

to read. I believe that one you're looking for is in the together. I saw her. She's standing in the middle of the

place wherein both of you cherish." field. She seemed to be in deep thoughts since she

didn't notice me coming. I'm staring at her like the first

"Thank you, Prof. Santillan. I go now." time. She's still stunning as before. When she turned to

my direction. I smiled. She smiled back at me.

"Good luck."

"Hi", I said.

I really wanted to thank that old Professor for giving me

the most important information that I need now. I knew "Hey, what brought you here?", she said.
 "I think I waited for it for a long time"

"You, I felt that I need to see you."

"Then here it is my queen." I took a deep breath. And

"Really? Btw, Jasmine called and told me some things." yelled. “I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH, CARRIE YAP. WILL YOU

BE MY GIRLFRIEND AGAIN? THIS TIME I PROMISE THAT

"Oh...What does she told you?" WE WILL BE TOGETHER. I PROMISE THAT I WILL FIGHT

FOR YOU, I WILL NOT GIVE UP ON US. I WILL NOT BACK

"She told me to give our love another chance. To give us DOWN. WILL YOU GIVE ME THAT CHANCE AGAIN?"

another shot in our love. She also told me to take good

care of you." All the people in the field are now staring at us. I don't

mind them. All that's in my mind now is the answer that

"What did you tell her?" will Carrie give to my breathless question. There's a

smile that's playing in her lips.

"I said it depends on you." A mysterious expression across her face.

"Ah...Do you want to hear what I wanted to say?" All that I remember is how Carrie said yes to my

breathless expression. And how it made me happy.

Everything was right from one moment to the next. We We were happy these past few days. I've never felt this

were together again. She run towards me, almost kind of feeling for a long time. The feeling of

knocking me over when I caught her in a hug. Her face contentment.

was beside mine in an instant. I could smell her hair and I'm always happy whenever we're with each other.

her sweet breath. She was laughing. We're inseparable these days. My family knows now

about us. They are happy for me. I meet Jasmine before

"We wasted three years of our life.", she said. she left for US. We agreed to meet in a restaurant in the

hotel.

"You're right, but I don't care about it now", I said.

"Hi there."

"I don't care either. I've waited long enough for you. I

just couldn't wait another day." "Hi Jas, ready for the flight?"

And that's when I kissed her.

“Yup, just a little bit of packing. I'm bringing this huge

bag of delicacies home. My mom keeps on bugging me

XXII. Saying Goodbye
about those."
"Do you need a hand on those?" "You're welcome but I don't think that I'll be ready for

love after these. I think I need to lie down."

"No, I'm fine, thanks. Btw, how are you and Carrie? She

called me earlier and wished me luck. I hope you're not "Still I wish you luck. Be safe always."

giving her problems."

"I will. You too. Live a happy life here. Don't you dare to

"No, of course not. We're fine, she's in the University give her up again."

now, and she still has a class."

"I will not I promise."

"James, I wish you all the happiness in your life. Be

happy always. Take good care of Carrie. I know that After that, I hugged her and bid her my farewell. It

She loves you also. Be good to each other." might be take some time before I could see her again.

I'm happy that she understands. I'll thank her deeply

"Yeah, I'll do that. Don't worry about it. Jas, I want to because if not for her, Carrie and I will not be together.

say thank you for all of this. I hope that you'll have

someone in your life that will be good for you."

 "Be good. Hope to see you again."

After that, I know that my next problem would be her

father. Her father always intimated me. But now I had

much more confidence than before. I know that I can

face him and fight him. Carrie told me that she will fight

for me also. We decided to tell our relationship to her

father. She called him to meet us in one of the

restaurants near his office.

We waited for few minutes, then I spotted him. He's

XXIII. Standing Up walking straight to our table. When he reached us, he

sat down, called the water and ordered coffee. He

Jasmine left a day after our last conversation. Carrie and looked at me but it didn't linger.

I drive her to the airport. When he flight schedule called

her, she hugged us both and tells. "Carrie, is this your boyfriend?"
 "I am Kyle James Lee, the person whom you threatened

"Yes dad. This is Atty. Lee" years ago to stop seeing your daughter, sir."

"Atty. Lee, the ATTY. LEE in US. The most high paid Realization is seen through his face. There is anger and

lawyer in US and the general manager of the LEE humiliation. His face now is turning red.

Group of Companies?"

"What nerve do you have to talk to me like this?"

"Yes, Sir. That's me."

"Sir, I've come here to prove myself to you and tell you

"Oh... nice meeting you. Btw, why do you familiar to me that I'm now worth for your daughter. I will never give

young man?" her up. I will fight for her. You can't stop us now."

"You---!!!" He's face now is red. Shaking with anger, and

"It's because we've already met, Sir." pointing his finger to me.

"Where? I should have recognized you if that are the "I will never allow it to happen. I will never give my

case." daughter to you."

"Dad, why are you doing this to me? I've been a good "Sir, I promise that I won't let anything to happen to

daughter to you but why can't you let me be happy. her. I wouldn't hurt her. Please approve our

Kyle's the one who could make me happy." relationship. I'm mature enough to commit to her."

"Carrie, what do you think you're doing? The people will "Young man, do you really think that I don't approve

look down on you. My god, you're older than him. your relationship before because you're not stable.

People will laugh at you." It's not. I don't approve it because I'm worried for my

daughter. You are younger than her, and everyone will

"Dad, I know that you cared for me but this is too much. criticize her. And the worst is she had been your

I’m 29 now I can decide for myself. teacher. Many will make fun of her. I don't want that to

People nowadays have liberated minds. They look into happen. I love my daughter. And I would protect her

the deeper side." from anything as much as I can."

"Carrie, I just can't afford to see you hurt." "Sir, I will make sure that no one will ever criticize her. I

will use my authority for it. I swear in front of you not

"Dad, I won't be hurt. Kyle will take care of me." just me but as the heir of my family, as a mature man
and as the man who love your daughter, that I will do

anything to protect her. Please give us your blessing." "I love you too baby. Lee, come to our house later. I

have some things to discuss with you."

"Dad, please. I've never ask you for anything in my life,

just this. Please let us be together." "Yes, Sir."

"Do whatever you want. I'll give you my blessing. Just Chairman Yap stood up and turns to leave. I am now

do what you've promised to me young man." relieved that the old man approved our relationship.

This is what Carrie and I have been waiting for. All I have

"Of course, Sir. Thank you." to do now is to fulfil my promise to her dad that I'll

protect her. I looked at Carrie, she look back at me too. I

"I'll go now. I have some things to attend to." see the glimmering look in her eyes.

She looked into my eyes with so much joy and hope.

"Nice meeting you again, Sir. Thank you for trusting me

your daughter." "I love you.” she said.

"Dad, thank you very much. I love you." "I love you too.” I replied.
 she gets out of the car, I followed her up to the gate

then we hugged each other tightly. We just stayed as it

is for a long time. Then, she smiled at me. I know that's

she's happy now and relieved. We have been waiting

this to happen.

"I'm so happy now. I'm glad that my father now

approved our relationship. Thank you for fighting for

me, and for our relationship. I'm glad that never give up

on us."

XXIV. Meeting the Family

"I'm also happy. You're also brave, standing against your

After the meeting with her father, Carrie decided to go father and fighting for me. Thank you for that. Thank

home so I drove to their house. I'm having flashbacks of you for trusting me."

memories. I remember driving to their house the first

time I was invited. I remember our last meeting and my "I should have done that long time ago. We could have

conversation with her father. When we reach her home been together for ages. I'm sorry."
 smiling, my staff seems to think that something’s wrong

"True but the experiences that we’ve had when we’re so they asked me if I'm alright.

apart make us stronger now. You have nothing to

apologize for." "Sir, are you alright?” my secretary asked.

"Kyle, don't forget that you'll have dinner here tonight. "Yeah, why's that? Something's strange?"

It's time that you'll meet my family again."

"Well not really, Sir. But you're smiling all the time now.

"Of course, I won't forget about it." Are you sure you'll alright?"

"Bye, see you later." Then, she kissed me, and went "Yes, don't worry about me. I'm fine. Is this all the

inside their gate. things that I need to look at?"

I drove back to my office. The traffic is so heavy. I had to "Yes, Sir. The creative department said that they will

use another way just to get their fast. My work in the pass their concept tomorrow for presentation."

table will be doubled since I haven't finished some of it.

It’s already 3:30pm when I get there. I found myself

"Okay. Thanks. Tell them that will present it tomorrow I'm meeting her entire family. I know that they know me

at 2pm. I need the copy of it before hand." before but I'm just nervous on how they would react

that we're together again.

"I'll tell them that sir."

When I got home, I take a hot shower and picked up

"Thanks. Btw Ms. Gomez, uhhmm...do you know where casual attire for this evening. After I get dressed, I drove

I can buy a bouquet of roses near our building?" to their house. On the way, I bought her a bouquet of

yellow roses, and I also bought two sets of bouquet for

"Oh. I know two flower shops that are near here, Sir. her mother and sister. I got there half an hour earlier of

One is three blocks away from the building; and the the expected time. She meets me at the front door. She

other one is just two blocks away from here." smiled when she saw me. And muttered something

about the flowers. She must have seen that I’ve brought

"Thanks for the information, Ms. Gomez." her three bouquets. So, I explain that the other two is

for her mother and sister. Her whole family are now

I go home at 5pm to get ready for the dinner date with there. Her father is now dressed in his comfortable

Carrie's parents. Now I'm getting nervous. It's not clothes and her mother warmly welcome me, she still

because of her father but it's because of the fact that recognizes me; his older brother, Will and his family are
there; Stephen; and Trixie are all in their living room. They kept on asking me how I become one of the

Mr. Yap's expression's still indescribable. I still don’t trusted lawyers of the Manhattan elites, so I told them

know if we can be comfortable with each other and I the story. Tita and Trixie always kept on teasing me on

hope that it will be. Tita hugs me when she sees me. how I've change a lot. They began comparing me from

She told me that she was proud of what I've accomplish before and now. They said that I've now become a fully

in my life. She started to interrogate me about how my handsome young man that Carrie should be careful

life in US was. She told me everything that Carrie did for because someone might take me.

the past three years. How she come up with a Carrie then responds to them by saying that I would

restaurant, if she had been in a relationship after we never set my eyes on those girls because I love her

broke up, etc. I knew that Carrie's embarrassed now. completely. I just smiled on their conversation. Now I

Her cheeks are red and she keeps on blushing and know that I belong to this family. After dinner, Mr. Yap

blushing. While Stephen and Trixie are snickering. They talked to me.

must have remembered what Carrie must have done.

"Lee, can we talk?” he said.

We had our dinner after 30 mins. Stephen and Will

caught me into a conversation. Those two have the "Yes, Sir. Of course."

same personality. They're both smart and hilarious.

"Drop that formality now. Just call me Tito. I'm fine with meddling in our relationship? I'm so naive back then.

it. And I just call you James." But now I realize it all. How and what you feel, and etc.

You're just an overprotected father to his children."

"Okay."

"Thanks. I hope all of you will understand what I felt."

"James, I know that I've been harsh on you three years

ago but I'm just protecting my daughter. I don't want "Don't worry, Sir. I will never let anything happen to

someone or anyone will criticize her. She's so fragile. I Carrie. She's safe with me."

don't want my daughter to be hurt, that's why I don't

approve your relationship. I just want her to have "That's all that I want to hear from you."

someone that's older than her. That’s why I arranged

her marriage with one of my colleagues' sons. However,

she refused it. I know now why. She truly loves you. And After that I talked to Carrie's father, I felt that the

I accept her decisions." burdens in my shoulders lessen. His approval on our

relationship means that we are now free. That means a

"Thanks you, Sir. I admit at first, I'm really angry at you. lot. I spend almost my evening in Carrie's house. Her

Who are you? Who do you think you are? Why are you mother asked me to stay fir the night but I refused
because I have a project report to review. I bid my

farewell to the entire family. Carrie walked me to my

car.

"Thank goodness, it's over now. We don't have to worry

about my father now."

"Yeah. I'm very much relieved. Hon, let's have lunch

tomorrow. I'll pick you up at 11:30am in the University,

okay?"

"Okay. Bye. Go home safely."

XXV. Empire State

"Bye. See you tomorrow."

Carrie and I have been together for almost four months.

Then, I drove to my condo. I got to my pad half hour And for those four months, it's been like we've never

later. I can sleep now without worries. Tomorrow will been apart for three years. Our love grows and blooms

be a stress-free day and the entire succeeding days. every day. We went to Macau two weeks after we've
had our dinner with her family. Of course, our trip now

is known to her family and with her father's permission. For that four months that we've spent something came

We went to Villa Margarita where I asked her to be my to my mind. Something that I want to do but I just don't

girlfriend five years ago. know how. I've got some advises from my friend here

The place changed a bit over the time but still our and abroad. From that, I've got an idea. Since now that

memories stays in this plays. We spent our one week my father is recovered, I asked him if he can help me

vacation, then after that we went back to the country. and he said, "Yes".

I've been busy after that because of many projects to be

made in different companies that my family have. And "Dad, can you deal with our companies? I've just

sometimes, her father will call me to help him out in something to do in New York. Is it okay?"

some of their company's trouble. Her brother, Stephen

sometime goes to my office to ask some advice "Uhhmm...I think so. Don't worry about it. I can handle

regarding some different problems. These interactions it. How long will be you gone?"

with her family make me to be close to them. I'm

required I mean I'm now invited in their house every "I just don't know. I think it’s about a week."

other day to have dinner together with them and

absolutely I have no complains about that. "No problem."

 "James, what’s up man? How are you?” Nate asked.

"Thanks dad."

"Never been better. I've been great all this time. How

After my conversation with my dad, I called up in my about you?"

house in New York. I have it cleaned and prepared for

our stay there and for my party. My friends there are "Same as usual. Scandalous. I've been avoiding the

also excited to see me. And Jasmine will be there and press for a while. Chuck here caught the attention of all

ache’s the one who facilitates the party. My friends in the media for now because of his newest project here."

the law firm, my former clients and the Upper East

Siders. "That's right, you owe me one." Chuck said.

I'm dragged by my New Yorker friends to their corner.

I've met again my Upper East Sider friends; Charles "Hey lee, is that girl, the one?" Blaire asked. She is

Bass, Nathaniel Archibald, Blaire Vander Woodsen, looking at Carrie.

Malachi Martin, Elliot Lee, Sirena Wardolf and my best

bud, Bryan Wills. We catch up and talked about the "Yeah. She's the one. Why you ask?"

things that happened to us after I went to Philippines.

"I know why. It's obvious honey. You’re in love. Your "Honestly, I have but I just don't know how to do it."

eyes spark whenever you looked at her." Sirena

explained. "What's our purpose? Lee just tell us what you needed

and we'll help you accomplish it." Blaire said

"And you're somehow connected to each other. Like

there's a thin thread that connects you both. That "Thank you guys."

whenever one moves, the other also does." Elliot

added. We drink and drink until we've knocked out. I miss this

kind get together with my friend here, but I'm also

"Well I guess, love really did these to me. I'm a new happy with what I have now in my life. True that giving

person but the same man. Haha." I said to them. up New York is one of the toughest decisions that I've

made in my life but I know that I choose the right

"So, how will you propose?" Nate asked. choice. Going back to the Philippines, help me find my

one love. And for that, I will be contented and happy for

"Yeah dude. How will you? Do you have anything in what I have. And I knew that in this trip I'm about to

your mind now?" Mal asked. change my life.

The next day, I ask for my friend's help in buying "I’m sure", she replied. "I'm almost buying these every

something. They told me that the best place to go is the now and then. I've seen every diamond in New York.

Tiffany’s. I know the place because I've gone there for

some time with Jasmine but I never looked at any of it. Sirena preened proudly, all the while watching me

Sirena and Blaire help me find the best one for Carrie. closely as if fascinated by the carnival of emotions

"Is it a good one?" I asked nervously. playing on my face.

Blaire looked through the Jeweler's glass at the "It's a winner," Sirena said. The other one is bigger, but

diamond ring on the velvet. She didn’t say anything for this one is more beautiful. It's so bright. She'll love it!"

a few moments, and then she looked up and said, "It's

very clear and brilliant." Behind the counter, the jeweler Then the jeweler said, "What size would you like us to

nodded seriously, and said, " Ms. Vander Woodsen is resize the ring to?"

right, Sir." "Size five", I said.

"Are you sure?" I asked her. "Wow, that's tiny." Blaire said.

Carrie did have the most slender hands on earth. With a

smile, I quoted the poet E. E Cummings, replacing the

original "you" with "her": "I do not know what it is of the things in order to make these entire perfect. IN

about her that closes and opens; only something in me this day, Carrie will be with Jasmine, since she will be

understands the voice of her eyes is deeper than all buying something for her family. Because of this, I have

roses. Nobody, not even the rain, has such small enough time to put the act up. It was now 5pm in the

hands." afternoon; I called Carrie to meet me in Time Square

which is in Fifth Avenue. It is where my first act will

"This only means one thing." Silena said, "No return, no happen.

exchange."

"Hon, meet me in Time Square."

"Okay, Jasmine's no longer with me because she needs

to be in her office."

XXVI. Grand Gesture. "Oh, really. Just meet me there."

It's our fourth day her in New York, our second to the That is part of the plan. Jasmine needed to leave Carrie.

last night stay. I've been planning all the things that I’ll When Carrie reached Time Square, it’s already six in the

need with the help of my friends. I have to orchestrate

evening. It’s getting dark but the lights of the city make "I love you very much. You are the woman who taught

it brighter. She called me but I didn't answer. me to love, the only one who wake this kind of emotion

Then suddenly, all the city lights went out. The people's in me, and the one whom I love from the start till the

attention diverted to the screen which is the only one end; my first and last true love. I will always love you till

whose running. the end of time. We've been a lot all these years, but

There, in the screen flashed something. A video. A nothing changes for my love for you. You're still you.

video of me. Since I was a public icon in Manhattan, all Even though I tried to forget you, I just can't. Your face

attention is on the video. It shows... still lingers in my memory. My mind tells me to stop

loving you but my heart keeps on screaming for you. I

"Carrie, I know that you can see and hear me now. love you and I want to be with you, my love."

Please listen to what I’m about to say. We've been "I just want to say something for you in person. If you

together for a long time. We've worked so hard for this want to hear this, just ride in the limo in front of you

relationship to grow. We've sacrificed a lot. We learned and it will bring you where I am. I Love You."

from our mistakes. We conquer our fear. In this time

and in this place, in front of all the people in New York, I My friends help me plan all of these. They help me to

will tell something to you. put this up, and they have been following Carrie

wherever she goes so that the plan will turn to be in

exact time and manner. They saw her then. Upon the way her. I'm getting fidgety and nervous. I know

hearing those words, tears rolled down in Carrie's eyes. that we've plan this thoroughly but what if something

She's laughing at the same time crying. I don't know went wrong. What if she turns it down. I'm scared but

what she's thinking in that time but I hope that she will at the same time hopeful. Hoping that a magic will

accept what I will offer to her. After the video is shown, come.

the lights went back and the crowd cheers and jitters

for her. Thank Goodness, she decided to go wherever I The Empire State Building is a 102-story landmark Art

tell her. She's in the limo on the way to Empire State Deco skyscraper in New York City at the intersection of

building. Fifth Avenue and West 34th Street. It has an indoor and

outdoor observation deck on the 86th floor. From it you

could see all of Manhattan. Floodlights were added to

illuminate the top of the building at night, in colors

chosen to match seasonal and other events.

XXVII. The Proposal

She arrived in the Empire State Building after a few

I'm now in the top floor of the Empire State building. minutes. She went inside. Inside the lobby, a big

I'm waiting for her. I know that she's now in the limo on bodyguard type guy was waiting for her. Normally there
was a long line that snaked backwards and forwards looking at the view of New York as the elevator

because the high speed elevators can hold a limited accelerates. She will be waiting for my surprise.

number of people to ride. Right now, there was no line

and the place is closed. I really don't know how we pulled it out off. After

buying the ring that morning. I had gone with Chuck to

"Are you Ms. Yap?" the bodyguard asked her. the Empire State building, and talked to the

administrator. Since Chuck is Charles Bass, one of the

"Yes, how do you know?" CArrie asked. Upper East Siders and freakingly, dirty rich guy, he

made all the arrangements. Someday, I'm going repay

"Because you’re the prettiest girl in Manhattan", he chuck for that. I somehow make sure that everything

replied. Carrie blushed. from minute details of The Plan will come true. I asked

for everybody's help and what surprised me is that they

The guy walked her towards the elevator and pressed all agreed. They said that not every day that the famous

the button. The elevator's door opened right away, she "James Lee" will come to the Empire State and asked

stepped in. He pressed the top button and stepped out something to them. And not every day they can witness

before the elevator doors closed. I knew that Carrie's something special.
The elevators opened at the 86th floor, and Carrie ambiance is full of love. I can't really tell because I've

arrived at the observation deck. There was no one never been a romantic guy. I just have to be a guy who

except me. She can't see me because all the lights were will love my girlfriend and hopefully my fiancée. My

off except for a few that leads to the edge of the deck, friends had done their part of The Plan successfully, and

towards me. The viewing deck was surrounded entirely now it’s my turn.

by windows. We had an unobstructed view of the city

all around us. The city lights were unbelievably light, Carrie saw the place, the flowers, the candlelight

and around the Time Square, the rest of the city dinner, the violinist, the lights and all of it. I am in the

sprawled out in all windows of New York. middle of the place dressed in tux waiting for her to

At the outdoor observation deck, you could stand there come with radiant smile in my face. We walked towards

and look 86 floors down. Here, bouquets of flowers but each other. She looked at me.

mostly its yellow and white roses were strewn about "You didn't..." she said hardly believing what she saw.

randomly. Then the lights went on, revealing an

extravagant place of paradise. Lights were randomly While Carrie was still recovering from shock of the

put. A table for two with a candlelight dinner awaits us height, the place, the flowers, the view before her, and

with a violinist serenading. Everything is perfect. The me, I reached into my pocket for the ring, and got down

girls told me that the place is romantic and the on one knee.
 "I love you," I said. " I love you since you walked into

"I've been so scared and blind." I told her. When she that classroom, and I never stopped loving you. I don't

saw me kneeling there with a ring, a hand flew to her plan to stop loving you if you'll let me."

mouth and tears came to her eyes.

"Will you marry me, Car?"

I hadn't prepared a speech. I didn't have the time to

make any or memorize anything, but I knew that what I For a moment she was overwhelmed with emotions,

had to tell Carrie, and without thinking the words came but as soon as the words could come out, she said them

out naturally. the words that I wanted to hear.

"Everything I ever wanted, I already had," I said, "with "Yes!" Carrie said. "Yes, I'll marry you". And then she

you. And I had to go halfway around the world and was kneeling in front of me kneeling in front of her, and

spent so much time just to figure it out that I had blown both of us trembling. I put the ring on her slender

it. I had lost everything", I paused and Carrie reached finger, and we kissed.

out to hold my hand. I won't ever let that happen

again."
 They were happy for us. I know that I had made the

right choice and I will never regret it. I love her. She

loves me. That's all that matters.

We went back to the country after two days. We

planned for our wedding.

Call it what you want-that burning feeling in the back of

your mind whenever you think of her and all of your

thoughts go awry and your heart speeds up, pushing

your blood around your body like it's in a big hurry to

go absolutely nowhere-call it obsessive, call it pathetic ,

call it crazy if you want-the burning, the aching, the

Leaving All Behind sheer longing to see her, the smile, the stern jaw that

locks when I laugh at the wrong moments, the

After that night, we went back to my house and I wonderful mouth that kisses me , the beautiful artistic

announced to all my friends, colleagues the good news hands that hold my hands when

and of course my family and her family.

I’m at my worst and laugh and listen to what is wrong- my gut, and my mind confirmed everything I was

call me all of the above, because I love her so much that feeling. I was in love with her, falling in love with her

my very essence of being screams her name twenty- more and more. A large part of me is happy because of

four/seven in the deepest recesses of my mind as a not- her, but that wasn't the reason why I felt calm and

so-subtle reminder of my absolute devotion and peace. Because the reality was I didn't know anything. I

adoration and I now hold my breath just thinking of her have no idea what the future held of me. Who was I to

wonderful spirit and her beautiful face and that is what I say? Maybe we would live happily ever after. I didn't

call love. know. But I had the greatest hope for us. I had led a rich

Life isn't like movies. It never turns out the way you life. I loved hard, but come out whole, able to over

think it will. In the movies, you know the plot in a again and give myself again. Because somehow I gotten

straight line: boy meets girl, boy and girl are torn apart, things right in love and friendship and work--and for all

boy and girl meets again. of that I was thankful. I knew I deserved it, but I also

In my life, love has gone in maddening circles, like a knew that I had been very fortunate. My only regret

rollercoaster doing a loop, or a 24/7 doing a roundtrip would be for all the possibilities that I would mind. And I

halfway around the world then returning home. Maybe had so much to look up for.

what Carrie and I had was what I had been waiting for And for a second, I saw my life flash before my eyes as if

my entire life for. Everything in me said it was—I felt in it were someone else's, everything from my first
memory with Carrie to growing old with her by my side

to my last breath. And I don't know ho, but I knew with

complete certainty how my live ended. I knew it ended

with a happily ever after.