I married Miss Right.

I just didn¶t know her first name was ALWAYS!!!

Marriage is a 3-ring circus:

Engagement Ring

Wedding Ring

SuffeRing

The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, ³What¶s on the TV?´ I said: ...

³DUST!´

In the beginning, God created earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman.

Since then, neither God nor man has rested!

Do you know the punishment for bigamy?

Two MOTHER-IN-LAWS!

Why do men die before their wives?

They want to!

A beggar walked up to a well dressed woman shopping on Rodeo Drive and said: ³I haven¶t eaten anything in four days´. She looked at him and said? ...

I wish I had your willpower!

Young son: ³Dad, I heard that in some parts of Africa a man doesn¶t know his wife until he marries her?´

Dad: ³That happens in every country, son.´

A man inserted an ad in the classified: ³WIFE WANTED´. The next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing:

³You can have mine!´

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