An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the
doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises. As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab. After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars. Once again the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again. After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets. The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated. He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner. The Arab replied "Bapu.....now I have Gujju blood in my veins!" JOKE TWO A Santa was down on his luck. In order to raise some money, he decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom. He went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I've kidnapped you." He then wrote a note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put 2 lakhs in cash in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, A Santa ." The Santa then pinned the note to the kid's shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning the Santa checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree. He opened the bag and found the exact amount of money as demanded with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Sardar?" JOKE THREE Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya achha lagta hai, meri samajhdari ya meri beauty. Husband: Mujhe toh yeh tumhari Majak karne ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai. JOKE FOUR Yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya du? 2ND : Gold ring de de. 1ST : koi badi cheez bata. 2ND : M.R.F ka tyre de de.
JOKE FI VE
and suddenly screamed when he saw the mirror. एक लाख आपके और 70000 दूसरे वाले ठेकेदार के िलए जो यह काम करके देगा। और ठेका तीसरे ठेकेदार को दे िदया गया. When the station arrived.Mayawati came to Lalu’s house with a goat… Lalu : Bhaiswa ko kyun layi ho? Maya : Dikhta nahi. ?
. the Santa deserved more service. कुछ नापतौल की. This guy was a barber.तुम कहते हो िक मेरे िलए मौत का भी सामना कर सकते हो तो जरा उस खूंखार साड़ के सामने खड़े होकर तो िदखाओ । पेमी .. He felt sleepy so he gave the guy sitting opposite him on the train 20 rupees to wake him up when the station arrived..270000 रपए। अिधकारी बोला .मै इस काम को 90000 रपए मे कर दूंगा। 40000 सामगी के िलए. Come quick! Ur kids n my kids r beating our kids... Said his wife " What's the matter?" Replied he "The cheat on the train has taken my 20 rupees and woken up someone else" JOKE SEVEN American life Consequences of American life style: The wife rushed into house screaming to her husband: Darling... Lalu : Hum goatwa se hi puch raha hu!!! JOKE SIX Once a Santa was travelling on a train.देख नही रहे। दूसरा 70000 मे करने को तैयार है । कुछ नापतौल तो करो. goatwa hai. Reaching home. कुछ िहसाब लगाया और बोला . the Santa was woken up. । JOKE NINE पेिमका .पूरी बात तो सुिनए .लेिकन अभी उसकी मौत कहा हुई है . the barber quietly shaved off his beard.. he went to wash his face.70000 रपए। 30000 सामगी के िलए और 30000 मजदूरी के। बाकी 10000 मेरे। तीसरे ठेकेदार ने न नापतौल की न िहसाब लगाया। अिधकारी के कान के पास मुंह ले जाकर कहा .. and he felt that for 20 rupees. िहसाब तो लगाओ तब बोलो। तीसरा ठेकेदार िफर उसके कान मे फुसफुसाया .. JOKE EIGHT
काम ऐसे होते है
तीन ठेकेदार एक पुिलया की मरममत के ठेके के िलए बोली लगाने पहं ुचे। अिधकारी उनहे उस पुिलया पर ले गया िजसकी मरममत होनी थी। पहले ठेकेदार ने जेब से फीता िनकाला.. 40000 मजदूरो के िलए और 10000 मेरे िलए। दूसरे ठेकेदार ने भी नाप तौल की. So... when the Santa fell asleep.. कैलकुलेटर पर कुछ िहसाब लगाया और बोला . । एक लाख मेरे. and he went home..
िफक मत करो । मेरे इलाज मे मलेिरया का मरीज मलेिरया से ही मरता है ..कया आपके अखबार ने यह छापा था िक मै झूठा और बेईमान हंू ? संपादक .हो सकता है िकसी अखबार ने छाप िदया हो। हम लोग पुरानी खबरे कभी नही छापते JOKE ELEVEN शादी के कुछ िदन बाद ही बेटी ने अपनी मा को फोन िकया . मेरी उनसे लड़ाई हो गई है .
. !!! मा ने समझाया .नही । नेताजी . !!! तू िफकर मत कर...इस शहर के िकसी अखबार ने ऐसा जरर छापा है । मेरे लोग मुझे गलत सूचना नही दे सकते । संपादक . नई-नई शादी हुई है ना.बेटी..... कया मै अचछा हो जाऊगा ? मैने सुना है िक कभी-कभी डॉकटर मलेिरया का इलाज करता रह जाता है और मरीज टायफाइड से मर जाता है । doctor .वो तो ठीक है मा.... सब ठीक हो जाएगा । ं बेटी .मा.......डॉकटर साहब.. तो कभी-कभी झगड़े हो जाते है. पर अभी तो इस लाश का कया कर ... !!!
JOKE TWELVE RAKESH -:मेरे पास 20 हज़ार रपये थे! मैने सोचा घर मे कुता िबना रखे इतना पैसे घर मे नही रखना चािहए! PRIYA-: िफर अपने कया िकया? RAKESH: 20 हज़ार का कुता खरीद िलया! JOKE THIRTEEN
ं Praveen .JOKE TEN नेताजी .
JOKE SIXTEEN One day. "It was St. a man wearing a mask jumped into the path of a well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "You can’t do this. "I'll give $20 to the child who can tell me who was the most famous man who ever lived. in my heart I know it is Lord Krishna. "You know Jayant. come up here and I'll give you the $20." Then a Scottish boy put his hand up and said." replied the robber." Finally. Patrick. 20th October 2009 at 05:26 PM. she said. "I'm sorry. Jayant replied. "Sorry Paddy." The teacher said. I was very surprised you said Jesus Christ". Jayant. "It was St. that's not right either. "Give me your money!" he demanded. since you're a Gujarati. Andrew. Indignant. the affluent man replied." The teacher replied. Hamish. a Gujarati boy raised his hand and said. I’m a Minister!" "In that case. "That's absolutely right. that's not correct." As the teacher was giving Jayant his money. "It was Jesus Christ. An Irish boy put his hand up and said. at a school in South America a teacher said to the class of 5-year-olds.Last edited by arvind123. "give me my money!" JOKE 18
. but business is business!" JOKE SEVENTEEN Give the money! Late one night." The teacher said. "Yes.
he rushes over to him. The next fly landed this time on the Marwadi's head. What's it like there?' 'Ooooooh. and the Chinese guy did the same thing. you made it to heaven. eat and sleep. and drowned."Cyclone is a small loan . fell into the well. and ate it. opened his mouth. and asked. The wife decided to make a wish too. Suddenly a fly sat on the Chinese man's head. Rabri was worried whether or not her dead husband made it to heaven. The husband leaned over. And the only thing we do. "Do you want to buy it?" JOKE 20 A couple came upon a wishing well.Sometime into the future Laloo is dead and has left his wife behind. and the pastures are much more lush and green than I ever expected.given by a bank to purchase a cycle". "You Chinese people bombed our Pearl Harbor. the air is cleaner. it's much more beautiful here than I ever imagined..' his wife cried. Instead. all day long. 'Rabriji! This is meeee. he hypnotized the fly only with his eyes. 'Heaven?' he answered. JOKE 22 Chinese walks into a bar in America late one night and he saw Steven Spielberg. 'I just have to know if you're happy there in the afterlife.' Laloo answered. and many people eating and creating even more garbage. opened his mouth.. Then he took the fly. there were a Chinese and a Marwadi sitting one in front of the other. Spielberg gives him a slap and says. looked at the Chinese guy. The train had many animals in the corridors. The husband was stunned for a while but then smiled 'It really works!' JOKE 21 Ponny Went for an interview AT City Bank Bank Manager asked the question to Ponny.. 'The sky is bluer. took it. made a wish and threw in a penny. after the usual mumbo-jumbo of calling to the spirits.' 'Thank God. In one cabin.' she answered. looked at the Marwadi. The Marwadi did the same thing. 'What heaven? I'm a cow in Bihar!' JOKE 19 Dirty Train From New Delhi to Bombay came a very dirty train. and using his hypontic skills.' 'Laloo. with his eyes he hypnotized the fly. As he was a great fan of his movies. get out of
. are eat and sleep. But she leaned over too much. her husband's voice was heard answering. so she decided to try to contact his spirit by having a seance. over and over. Five minutes later came another fly. "What is Cyclone"? Ponny smiled and Proudly answered. and asks for his autograph. Sure enough.
"Chinese. " replied Spielberg. Carlsberg. not me. Taiwanese. In return. "It was the iceberg that sank the ship." The astonished Chinese man replied." Shocked.In which direction?" Banta: Downwards !
." "It did. but today is the last day. my forefathers were on that ship. you're all the same." But that ought to make you happy. "Iceberg. it was the Japanese"." "I'm having trouble with my wife."
JOKE 23 India Marriage Joke "What's the matter. "You sank the Titanic." The Chinese replies." "What happened?" "She said she wasn't going to speak to me for 30 days. the Chinese gives Spielberg a slap and says. you're all the same." JOKE 24
Titanic was sinking.from here. Santa jumped into the sea and asked again: ". "It was not the Chinese who bombed your Pearl Harbor.. Spielberg replies. you look depressed. Santa: How much the earth is far from here? Banta: 1 kilo meter. Japanese. Spielberg..