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--James Whitcomb Riley Little Orphant Annie’s come to our house to stay, An’ wash the cups an’ saucers up, an’ brush the crumbs away, An’ shoo the chickens off the porch, an’ dust the hearth, an’sweep, An’ make the fire, an’ bake the bread, an’ earn her board-an-keep; An’ all us other 1hildren, when the supper-things is done, We set around the kitchen fire an’ has the mostest fun, A-listenin’ to the witch-tales ‘at Annie tells about, An’ the Gobble-uns ‘at gits you Ef you Don’t Watch Out! Wunst they wuz a little boy wouldn’t say his prayers, An’ when he went to bed at night, away up-stairs, His Mammy heerd him holler, an’ his Daddy heerd him bawl, An’ when they turn’t the kivvers down, he wuzn’t there at all! An’ they seeked him in the rafter-room, an’ cubby-hole, an’press, An seeked him up the chimbly-flue, an’ ever’-wheres, I guess; But all they ever found wuz jist his pants an’ roundabout: An’ the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you Ef you Don’t Watch Out! An’ one time a little girl ‘ud allus laugh an’ grin, An’ make fun of ever’ one, an’ all her blood-an’-kin; An’ wunst, when they was “company,” an’ ole folks wuz there, She mocked ‘em an’ shocked ‘em, an’ said she didn’t care! An’ thist as she kicked her heels, an’ turn’t to run an’hide, They wuz two great big Black Things a-standin’ by her side, An’ they snatched her through the ceilin’ ‘for she knowed what she’s about! An’ the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you Ef you Don’t Watch Out! An’ little Orphant Annie says, when the blaze is blue, An’ the lamp-wick sputters, an’ the wind goes woo-oo! An’ you hear the crickets quit, an’ the moon is gray, An’ the lightnin’ bugs in dew is all squenched away, You better mind yer parunts, an’ yer teachurs fond an’ dear, An’ cherish them ‘at loves you, an’ dry the orphant’s tear, An’ he’p the pore an’ needy ones ‘at clusters all about, Er the Gobble-uns ‘ll git you Ef you Don’t Watch Out!
Headline: Defendant Testifies
SOMERSET PA (AP) -- A. Wolf took the stand today in his own defense. This shocked and stunned the media who predicted that he would not testify in the brutal double murder trial. A. Wolf is accused of killing (and
Hey. If cheeseburgers were cute." Talk about impolite! He probably had a whole sack full of sugar. But when somebody talks about my granny like that. Can you believe it? I mean who in his right mind would build a house of straw? So of course the minute I knocked on the door. When the dust cleared. when I felt my cold coming on. And you know what? The whole darn straw house fell down. "Little Pig. But like I was saying. but not much. Wolf's honor. I knocked on the brick house. But my cold was feeling a little better. And he wasn't too bright either. The news reporters found out about the two pigs I had for dinner. And I tried to cover my mouth. the whole big bad wolf thing is all wrong. The rest as they say is history. They figured a sick guy going to borrow a cup of sugar didn't sound very exciting. So I called. And you are not going to believe this. Mr. but I sneezed a great sneeze. I called. Pig. I rang the bell on the stick house. I felt a sneeze coming on. That's when my nose started to itch. Think of it as a cheeseburger just lying there. But I still didn't have my cup of sugar . You can't come in. When the cops drove up. it's not my fault wolves eat cute little animals like bunnies and sheep and pigs. because nobody has ever heard my side of the story. of course I was trying to break down this Pig's door. I was framed. folks would probably think you were Big and Bad too. I'm shaving the hairs on my chinny-chin-chin. And I snuffed. I was making a birthday cake for my dear old granny. And he wouldn't give me even one little cup for my dear sweet old granny's birthday cake. Think of it as a second helping. The case has been characterized as a media circus. are you in?" He yelled back. He had built his whole house out of straw. Pig. are you in?" And do you know what that rude little porker answered? "Get out of here. I had a terrible sneezing cold. He had built his house of bricks. So I walked down the street to ask my neighbor for a cup of sugar. And I snuffed. This criminal trial is expected to be followed by a civil trial to be brought by the surviving Third Little Pig. Wolf. I go a Little crazy. He must have been the brains of the family. it fell right in. Pig. THIS IS THE REAL STORY. And I still didn't have that cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake. "Mr. “Go away. Mr. But I'll let you in on a little secret. "And your old granny can sit on a pin!" Now I'm usually a pretty calm fellow. "Mr." I had just grabbed the doorknob when I felt another sneeze coming on. His testimony is transcribed below: "Everybody knows the story of the Three Little Pigs. This neighbor was the First Little Pig's brother. I didn't want to just walk into someone else's house. Nobody knows the real story. This guy was the First and Second Little Pig's brother. Don't bother me again. He was a little smarter.eating) The First Little Pig. I was feeling a little better. And I sneezed a great sneeze. So I went to the next house. And right in the middle of the pile of straw was the First Little Pig . And I sneezed once again. He had been home the whole time. I called. You can call me Al.dead as a doornail. That's it The real story. there was the Second Little Pig . I was getting awfully full. Way back in Once Upon a Time time. but it's all wrong. That's just the way we are. Well I huffed. I had dinner again. Or at least they think they do. are you in?" No answer. Now this neighbor was a pig. Pig. Little Pig. " . I huffed And I snuffed. I huffed. I don't know how this whole Big Bad Wolf thing got started. No answer. What a pig! I was just about to go home and maybe make a nice birthday card instead of a cake. It seemed like a shame to leave a perfectly good ham dinner lying there in the straw. So I ate it up. Wolf. So I went to the next neighbor's house. And the whole time I was huffing and puffing and sneezing and making a real scene.dead as a doornail. Maybe it's because of our diet. Nobody answered. So I did the only thing there was to do. The real story is about a sneeze and a cup of sugar. I'm Alexander T. Then the Third Little Pig yelled. and The Second Little Pig. but the guy's house fell down just like his brother's. So they jazzed up the story with all of that "Huff and puff and blow your house down" And they made me the Big Bad Wolf. Wolf. I was just about to go home without the cup of sugar for my dear old granny's birthday cake. I ran out of sugar. Now you know food will spoil if you just leave it out in the open. He has built his house of sticks.
at a fairly large conference. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously." Part 4 Robert Whiting. English. Aussies and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German.S. when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in 1944 to help liberate this country. Canadians. arrived in Paris by plane. the American Admiral replied "Maybe it's because the Brits. They can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day.S. At a cocktail reception. Australian and French Navies. the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. And they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. including French and American. "Over the years. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?" Without hesitating. Canadian. bomb them?" A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: 'Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people. an elderly gentleman of 83.. whereas Europeans learn many languages. At French Customs. He then asked. We have eleven such ships. he found himself standing with a large group of officers that included personnel from most of those countries. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready. "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks.What America Means Part 1 When in England. I didn't have to show it. "You have been to France before." "Impossible. What does he intended to do. he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on." Part 2 There was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part. They have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3. He answered by saying. I couldn't find a single Frenchmen to show a passport to. "Well. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U. During a break. They are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electrical power to shore facilities." The American said. one of the French engineers came back into the room and said. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Mr. Americans learn only English.000 people three meals a day. But a French admiral suddenly complained that. Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of empire building' by George Bush. How many does France have?' Part 3 A U." . Then he quietly explained. "The last time I was here.
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