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Exploring the tremendous power of goals for Personal Change
S K Jaiswal
• 97% people don’t set their Goals
5 reasons why people don’t set their goals
1. People don’t take 100% responsibility for their life 2. People don’t understand importance of goal setting 3. People don’t know how to set goals 4. People have fear of rejection
Why Life Goals, and not just career Goals?
In 1923, 8 richest men met at one place. Their combined wealth was more than the total wealth of US govt. that time
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. Charles Schwab, the Steel tycoon A president of largest gas company A greatest commodity trader President, New York Stock Exchange A Member of President’s Cabinet Greatest ‘bear’ on Wall Street A President of world’s largest monopoly, Kruger A President of the bank of International Settlement.
25 years later …
1. Charles Schwab, president of largest steel company, lived on borrowed capital for 5 years before his death. 2. Howard Hubson, President of largest gas company went insane. 3. One went insolvent. 4. 2 were in jail 5. Remaining three committed suicide.
-(from Shiv Khera “You Can Win”)
Habit # 1 Be Proactive The need to design our life in balanced manner 6 .
WHAT’S MY LOCUS OF CONTROL? • High Internal – I am the master of my fate • High External – I am a pawn to my fate 7 .
Perception paradigms from social mirror a. your boss. Environmental determinism (your environment. Psychic determinism (your upbringing). Genetic determinism (DNA). 8 . b.Are we the pawns of Fate? 1. 2. your family).
Circle of Concern Circle of Influence 9 .
Circle of Concern Circle of Influence 10 .
and our integrity to those commitments is the clear manifestation of our Proactivity. 11 .Making and Keeping Commitments • At the very heart of our Circle of Influence is the ability to make and keep commitments and promises. • The commitments we make to ourselves and others.
Expanding the Circle of Influence • • • • • Be Be Be Be Be a better listener more loving a better learner a dedicated worker Happy .genuinely Smile 12 .
Viktor Frankl Story .
Stimulus Response The Proactive Model The Last of the Human Freedoms. .
Stimulus Freedom to Choose Response SelfAwarness Imagination Conscience Independent Will 15 .
Response ability – Decision of how to react. ‘Circle of Concern’ and ‘Circle of Influence’.BE PROACTIVE It is in contrast theory of life. Choosing our response to particular circumstances.HABIT 1 . to deterministic 1. 2. 16 . 3. Not being reactive.
and not be acted upon Listening to Our Language Proactive Language Reactive Language There is nothing I can do That’s just the way I am He makes me so mad They won’t allow that I have to do that I can’t I must If only Let’s look at our alternatives I can choose a different approach I control my own feelings I can create an effective presentation I will chose an effective response I choose I prefer I will 17 .Taking the Initiative: Act or Be Acted Upon Our basic nature is to act.
indirect or no control problem.Application exercises: 1. I can’t. listen to your language and that of the people around you . How often do you hear reactive phrases like : if only. Identify the first step you can take in your circle of 18 . For a full day . Select a problem from your work or personal life that is frustrating to you . Determine whether it is a direct . I have to ? 2.
19 .Habit 2: Begin with the end in mind. Control your own destiny or someone else will.
HABIT 2 – BEGIN WITH THE END IN MIND All things are created twice. 3. Center based on principles. 2. 4. Centers of life are source of security. guidance. Concept of Life Grid 20 . Mental Creation Involves: 1.First mental creation and then physical creation. Personal mission statement. wisdom and power.
• Developing a clear picture of where you want to go with your life • What your values are and • Setting goals 21 .Begin with the end in mind • Means..
” 22 .“The road to anywhere is really a life to nowhere.
• Habit 1 said you are the driver of your life not the passenger • Habit 2 says: since you’re the driver. 23 . decide where you want to go and draw a map to get there.
Alternative “Centers” • • • • Spouse centered Family centered Money centered Possession centered • Pleasure centered • Friend/Enemy centered • Church centered • Self centered • Principle Centered Centers provide us our concepts of: Security. Guidance. Wisdom & Power 24 .
r. family Power Limited by weakness of spouse Limited by family tradition and weakness Restricted by the money u hv Family Acceptance/ What family Expectation of wants Family how much money u hv Profits Money Everything thru lens of money Possession Religion 25 .t.How our Centers Affect Our Attitudes? Center Spouse Security How spouse treats you Guidance Needs of Spouse/ Self Wisdom Things affecting relationship Life seen w.
The Principle Center Security Guidance Wisdom Power We are: Self-Aware. Proactive individuals unrestricted by external people and circumstances Correct Principles Correct map of life is available don’t change Principles don’t discriminate against us We can make meaningful decision in totality. as the principles give balanced perception of the things Principles are bigger than people or circumstances Our lack of knowledge of correct principle is a source of Meaningful implementation of all Limitation is the our decisions is possible principle itself. Knowledgeable. We can choose the action but consequences is not under our control 26 .
Habit 2: Begin with the End In Mind A Principle Center Money Family Work Spouse Principles Self Possessions Pleasure Church Enemy Friend .
Habit 2: Begin with the End In Mind Personal Mission Statement • • • You could call a personal mission statement a personal constitution: it is changeless It should define your values and goals and become a standard to measure yourself against To begin. define what is at the center of your Circle of Influence .
” Identify Roles and Goals: – What are all of the roles that you play every day – What are the goals that you have for each of these roles? . rather than invent our missions in life.Habit 2: Begin with the End In Mind Personal Mission Statement • • Frankl: “We detect.
How do we get to the ‘end in mind”? • Write a personal mission statement! • A personal credo or motto that states what your life is about. – Acts like the deep roots of a tree that keep you stable and helps you to survive all the storms of life – Puts your values into words to guide you through your life 30 .
• There are four basic characteristics of good mission statements. whether they be personal. • It sets general guidelines for our life based on our values and our roles and goals. family. Begin with the End in Mind.BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS • Developing a mission statement is foundational to Habit 2. or organizational 31 .
and improve 32 our mission statement. deepen. A mission statement should be timeless and changeless. Nevertheless. As our consciousness grows and we mature. we should • • . This changeless core will enable us to live with changes inside other people and inside the environment. we will gradually strengthen.BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 1. they should not be included. Mission statements should be based upon unchanging core principles that operate regardless of present realities or situations. • • Because goals are not timeless.
In truth.BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 2. Principles are what we implement to achieve those ends.” . “You’ll never achieve a worthy end through unworthy 33 means. • • • • Ends have to do with what we are about. A mission statement should deal with both ends and means. Ends and means are inseparable. ends preexist in the means. Means have to do with how we go about achieving those ends.
for feeling that life matters. To leave a legacy (our spiritual need for meaning. 34 .BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 3. To live (our physical and economic needs) b. To love and to be loved (our cultural and social ends) c. A mission statement should deal with all four of our basic needs: a. that we add value and make a difference. To learn (our needs to grow. develop. and be useful) d. be recognized.
“Internalizing” our mission statement will also help us get a clear understanding of what is truly important. • • such as a parent. teacher. etc. “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least. neighbour.BASIC CHARACTERISTICS OF GOOD MISSION STATEMENTS 4. Every time we say yes to something that is of little 35 • • • . manager.” This means.. Goethe once said.we learn how to say no at appropriate times. A mission statement should deal with all the significant roles of our life.
36 .This is personally yours • There is no right or wrong The important question to ask yourself is “Does it inspire me?” If your answer is yes. than you did it right.
Take the time… • Over the next few weeks to add to and edit your mission statement. • Continue to develop it until it is something you are proud of • and put it where you can read it often. 37 .
laminate it . carry it in your purse or wallet • Refer to it often. like in your journal. agenda or mirror.What next? • Put your mission statement where you can easily access it. • Print it. 38 . maybe even MEMORIZE it.
39 . • Go back to your mission statement and read it often to get your mind back to the having … THE END IN MIND.• When your discouraged or you lose sight of the end you have in mind.
An alternative 40 .Life Grid.
An alternative 41 .Life Grid.
Life Grid.An alternative 42 .
Long .Term Organizing Mission Statement Roles Goals 43 .
Weekly Organizing Roles Goals Plans Schedule Delegate 44 .
Habit # 3 Put First Things First 45 .
It is the practical day-to-day method of implementing proactive and principle centered goals.HABIT 3 – PUT FIRST THINGS FIRST 1. The Quadrant matrix – Avoid focusing energy on nonimportant matters. 2. 46 .
Time Management Matrix Urgent Not Urgent II Activities: Prevention. busy work Some mail Some phone calls Time wasters Pleasant activities 47 . recreation Important I Activities: Crises Pressing Problems Deadline Driven Projects Not Important III Activities: Interruptions. pressing matters Popular activities IV Activities: Trivia. some calls Some mail. some reports Some meetings Proximate. PC activities Relationship building Recognizing new opportunities Planning.
and rewrites a goal. 48 . • If a person repeatedly thinks about.Setting Goals: Why It Works! Reticular Activating System or RAS • The RAS filters through all these pieces of input and decides which messages receive top priority and full attention. the brain is focused and suddenly becomes aware of related matters and needed resources which are important in the realization the goal.
Positive Statement 2.Set Realistic Goals 8.Be Precise 3.Write Goals Down 5.Keep Operational Goals Small 6.Effective Goal Setting Summary: 1.Set Priorities 4.Avoid Setting Goals Too Low 49 .Set Performance Goals 7.
Stating the goal in positive terms. Ensure the goal can be self-initiated and maintained. Evidence procedure 50 .Use of Neuro Linguistic Programming for Goal Setting 1. 5. Run a Quality Control check on the goal to ensure balance in all areas of your home/work life. 7. 6. 2. Specify the goal in a way that you find compelling. 3. Specify the goal in sensory-based terms. 8. State the context of the goal. 4. State the resources needed to achieve the goal.
” 51 .Quote “Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter the least.
Making the Goals Happen Habit # 7 Sharpen the Saw 52 .
Renewal The Seventh Habit 53 .
writing Spiritual – Value clarification & commitment. meditation Social/emotional. Renewing the four dimensions of your nature Physical – Exercise. HABIT 7 – SHARPEN THE SAW (PRINCIPLE OF BALANCED SELF RENEWAL) 1. 54 . nutrition Mental – Reading. empathy.Service. Balanced Self-Renewal synergistically makes all other habits possible. synergy 2.
Planning. Empathy. Nutrition. Writing MENTAL SOCIAL/EMOTIONAL Service. Synergy.FOUR DIMENSIONS OF RENEWAL Exercise. Intrinsic Security Value Clarification & Commitment. SPIRITUAL 55 . Stress Management PHYSICAL Reading. Visualizing.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?