Volume 25, Number 6 November & December 2010 • A publication of the Women’s Community Center of San Luis Obispo

po County

Painting by Flo Bartell

2 Women’s Press Women’s Press November & December 2010

Letter from the Editor Courtney’s Quill Cover Artist

Change: A word that encompasses this issue in several ways. First, ou’re looking at a shorter version of Women’s Press—a significantly
Flo Bartell
shorter version. Due to the slow economy, Women’s Community Center is struggling to cover the costs of printing and distributing
At age ten, Flo began private art study in South
Women’s Press. We thought long and hard about going solely online—this does seem to be the wave of the future—but I am a tradition-
Carolina. Though her passion for art continued, she
alist (I refuse to buy a Kindle!). I want something tangible in my hands when I read. And while, yes, I do have a smart phone and often
pursued a career in education and mental health.
peruse the news while waiting in line at the grocery store, I haven’t been able to let go of reading the news only online. So, we made a
After many years working in those disciplines, she
compromise: we cut the paper in half and saved significantly on production costs. Unfortunately, we couldn’t fit every submission in, so
opened a needlework business, taught needle arts,
please go to our website to read other articles and essays online.
and designed children’s clothing, quilts, embroidery,
There have also been other changes brewing here at Women’s Press. After two wonderful, amazing, thought-provoking, mind-expanding, and needlepoint. She also began to study art again.
community-loving years, I’ve made the decision to resign as managing editor. As much as I love, love, love editing this paper, my family
and sanity were slowly taking a back seat to my love for volunteering. It was a tough decision and I admit that there were several times that Retiring to Los Osos, California in 2003, she contin-
I wavered and changed my mind, but in the end, I had to submit to the fact that I’ve just got too much on my plate to do it all. And after ued her art study at Cuesta College. Now Flo divides
spending two years reading the wonderful advice from our “Body and Soul” contributors, I knew my decision was the correct one. her time between family, art, and writing. Inspired
largely by nature and the human form, Flocurrently
Around the same time as I made the decision to leave, Ben Lawless had also made the decision to step down from his long standing post enjoys expressing her view of the world through the
at the paper as web and layout designer. Ben, as you’re well aware, has been with Women’s Press for five years. He has guided this paper texture and intense colors possible with wax medium
along in more ways than I’ll ever be able to express. But Ben works full-time and has been finding it more and more challenging to devote and pigments.
the time needed to Women’s Press.
Flo’s paintings have been accepted into amateur and
For all of us, we leave with sadness and yet such love for the work we have done and the work that will continue. We thank you, our professional exhibits, appeared several times on the
readers and writers. You, our audience, kept us alive through both our difficult personal times and our times of joy. We shall miss you cover of She Magazine, and have been adapted for
greatly, but we know that every other month we can reconnect when a new issue of Women’s Press comes out. needlepoint by Designing Women. Her designs have
been included in Sew Beautiful Magzine.
Finally, with change comes opportunity, and so for anyone interested in the best volunteer job in the county—managing editor of
Women’s Press—please email the Women’s Community Center at wccslo@gmail.com.

With love and gratitude. — Courtney Brogno

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Women’s Press November & December 2010 Body & Soul 3

The Three R’s

for the Holidays:
Releasing, Receiving,
Returning

Photo by Andrea Kratzenberg

walked in, and entering the third stage, reaching out for help when you need it, you enter into this holiday season, may you
By Laura Grace
which is joining with your Higher Power, or acknowledging your feelings, sticking to a experience the three R’s that the labyrinth
the healing forces at work in the world. It budget, planning ahead, saying “no” when was created for: Releasing, Receiving and
Since embarking on a delicious three month has been said that each time you walk the necessary, and maintaining healthy habits Returning.
sabbatical, I have been drawn to walking labyrinth you become more empowered to which includes your spiritual practice.
labyrinths on Sunday mornings. Labyrinths find and do what your soul is reaching for.
are an archetype, a divine imprint, found In my own life, I’ve seen how tempted I
in all religious traditions in various forms As we approach the holiday season, you can become to abandon some of my healthy Laura Grace is a nationally acclaimed
around the world. The most well known lab- might be wondering, “What do labyrinths practices during the holidays. When family author, speaker and teacher. Laura is a
yrinth is located at Notre Dame de Chartres have to do with anything?” Labyrinths are is in town and the kids are running around member of Spiritual Director’s International
Cathedral in Chartres, France. In Native a powerful way to connect with your deeper and there’s no privacy, well…you get the (www.sdiworld.org), Co-Founder of the Circle
American culture labyrinths are called the self, and during the holidays, it’s especially picture. Finding a place of quiet, yet alone of Spiritual Enlightenment, and the Spiritual
Medicine Wheel or the Man in the Maze. important to foster that connection. We are space to journal, meditate, or just take a Director of the Circle of Grace (www.spiri-
The Celts described it as the Never Ending all familiar with some of the biggest holiday deep breath, can be challenging. And that’s tualcircle.org), an organization dedicated to
Circle. One feature they all share is that triggers, including: why getting outdoors and walking a laby- raising consciousness through education in
they have one path which winds in a circu- rinth can be the perfect antidote. spiritual diversity and deep personal growth
itous way to the center. Relationships— After being thrust together and transformation.    Laura has a back-
for several days, family misunderstandings There are several labyrinths throughout the ground in world religions, developmental
My husband and I have been longtime lovers and conflicts can intensify. Yet on the other Central Coast and one I especially enjoy is psychology, and  integrative studies. She  has
of the labyrinth: a path where there are no hand, facing the holidays without a loved located at St Mark’s Episcopal Church in been trained in the areas of psycho-spiritual-
dead ends. The labyrinths we used to build one can leave one feeling lonely and sad. Los Olivos. But you don’t even have to travel ity, Neuro-Linguistic Programming, dream
were designed from the Chartres Labyrinth that far. Right here in San Luis Obispo analysis, and Gestalt therapy.  Laura is a
model. We would invite the public and Finances—With added expenses for food, County, in our own backyard, are laby- student of the Tao Te Ching, Siddha Yoga,
take great pleasure in creating a beautiful travel, and gifts, the holidays can put a rinths open to the public. Sycamore Mineral and A Course in Miracles. Having attended
11-circuit labyrinth along the sands of Morro strain on your budget. Springs Resort has a lovely labyrinth directly the New Seminary and One Spirit Seminary
Strand. Together, we would embark on the across Avila Beach Drive from the entrance in New York, Laura is an interfaith minister,
three stages of the “walk”: 1. Releasing: Physical/Emotional Demands—Shopping, to their parking lot. The first labyrinth I ever teacher, renowned speaker and spiritual coun-
Letting go of the details of your life. This entertaining, spending time with others, walked in our area was at St Paul’s Episcopal selor. Laura authored the books Gifts of the
is the act of shedding thoughts and distrac- can be draining physically and emotionally, Church in Cambria, located next to their Soul and The Intimate Soul. She is a syndi-
tions and a time for opening the heart and leading to more stress and creating a vicious Quiet Garden. cated columnist for more than 20 publications.
quieting the mind. 2. Receiving: Reaching cycle of activity-fatigue-stress, and so forth. Her site is www.lauragrace.net.
the center and contemplating what is there Last Sunday, as I walked the labyrinth in
for you to receive. 3. Returning: Following Some practices for remaining centered Los Olivos, my creative juices began flowing
the same path out of the center as you this holiday season entail being realistic, and my heart was filled with inspiration. As
4 Body & Soul Women’s Press November & December 2010

The Nature of Bliss

By Barbara Atkinson
“One must be utterly abandoned
to God… otherwise all is folly and
meaninglessness.” —Carl Jung
“There are two ways to lead your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a
miracle.” —Albert Einstein
Think of a winter day when you are very
cold. You decide to draw a nice warm bath
that is just right, and when you get in that
perfectly warm bath you find yourself
bathed in joy. You ooh and ah with glee as
you begin to warm up. The coldness ekes
out of you, dislodged by the warmth.
Imagine this as being bathed in Light as
you come into balance with All That Is
and realize this Light is within you and all
around you. Your comfort level is sustained
by Spirit—not too hot and not too cold.
And what at first was a peak experience of
ooh and ahs as your body adjusted to the
water may seem temperate now because you
are no longer dazzled by it; there is no longer
a division between what you experienced as
warmth and the warmth itself. You are not
separate from it. Now extend this metaphor
to a bath of that Light with no tub; every-
thing that exists is in the bath with you, and
everything, including you, is this bath of
Light—the Light of Divine Love expressing
itself in form. (This is not just intellectually
understood; it is experienced.)
This is the Bliss that is talked about in some
spiritual literature. It is not the high emo-
tional state with which we often associate it.
You can’t will this state into being; in right
time, it comes as a gift of grace. You experi-
ence a kinship of Spirit with all that is and
no longer identify with duality. Resistance
and separateness fall away as Love envelops
you and lives through you. Though you
still grow and learn, you do so without
struggle. Unshakeable in all things, you
“flow with the river” and its current carries
you. Thoughts and emotion come and go as
you observe them but do not attach to them.
Simply put, you are a witness to the passing
parade at the same time as you exist and create
within it. This continuous state of reverence
brings contentment and joy.
We don’t become still to find God;
and so on. Because these emotional peaks
we are still to become aware of God are necessarily short-lived, we rush here and
manifest within us. there to find more, creating instead a good
deal of struggle for ourselves. Attached to
There are those of us who try to avoid the highs, we may assume the peaceful state
knowing our true Self; we are afraid of described above to be boring, blah, a flat-
what we’ll find. Deeply judging ourselves line experience. But this is not so.
and others, we avoid the responsibility and
acknowledgment of our discontent through Bliss is the experience of kinship with All
a constant distraction of television, clutter, That Is, the culmination of the rebirth of
chatter, and the like that robs us of ourselves Self, of Being, and is without those high
as we invest our energy and emotions in the peaks (and their ever-present partner,
other. By this avoidance we shortchange our valleys); yet it is full of wisdom and love, so
opportunity to invite balance into our lives deep, it is ever vibrant. Glowing with a perva-
and know our own Divinity. sive sense of well-being, it does not participate
in past reflection and regret or in the anxiety
And then there are those of us who become of what the future may bring. It lives in the
attached to the peaks, the ooh and ahs when moment—in the glistening vibrancy of Love
we first put our “cold body in the nice warm that is nature, is each person and is every-
bath,” and grab onto that “high” as bliss, thing—and is full of Beauty and the boundless
mistaking excitement for joy. We are afraid Knowledge that exists in the Now. It openly
to let go, trust, and allow true, sustained Bliss accepts the sacredness present in all Life,
(Love) to bubble-up from within. We seek to including our own. In this calm state of sus-
recreate another peak, and use our will and tained Bliss, your life is the prayer and blesses
energy to try and “make it happen.” It can all creation.
even become some kind of addiction like
sex, food, the perfect body or image, money,
possessions, work, gambling, alcohol, endless
spiritual workshops and experiences, drugs, Barbara Atkinson batkinson2@earthlink.net,
San Luis Obispo, CA

Do you spend quiet moments ref lecting on your life?

By MaryAine Curtis

Do you spend quiet moments reflecting on to absolutely follow my heart in surprising adrenaline, but it’s false energy and ultimatelyIt has taken me years to realize this one simple
your life? Do you wonder how circumstances ways. I have been compelled to listen and act depleting to all involved. Shopping to feel truth. Now I eat guiltless chocolate because
taught you to be strong, wise, naughty, invisi- on ‘my inner wisdom and voice.’ It can be better, having an affair, or  gambling are all I love chocolate. The taste gives me joy.
ble, loving, and passionate? Some lessons were extremely difficult to follow this because it false energy supplies and ways to avoid really Fortunately, we have better and better choc-
hurtful, causing shame and guilt to enter your sometimes means letting go of people in order looking within oneself. Instead of under- olate to enjoy now. You can listen to the voice
heart and close it down. When wonderful to have greater peace within myself. Has this standing and awareness, guilt is created. Guilt inside that speaks truth and agree to follow
experiences happen, it may be hard to fully ever happened to you? is a useless and heavy process. that voice. That’s what I do. It takes practice.
feel the exquisite pleasure because of the hurt It’s about the bigger goal of having peace of
that weighs on your heart. Does this sound When it’s my ego demanding my atten- How can this be avoided? It’s simple. You have mind and making that more important than
familiar? tion like an inner brat, it feels like to change your priorities and stop doing that the gold shiny object that only gives tempo-
adrenaline with spiky erratic energy. Yuck, it’s which brings on guilt. Stop buying into it and rary satisfaction.
2010 has been a year for me to participate in draining, dramatic, and addictive. Addictive choose to do something different. Own your
“A Year to Live” as a group. energy gets in the way of the inner voice that responsibility for the actions that are chosen. What do you really want with this life? Will
is the guide of your soul’s path. You can tell Be aware of the wake that your actions create you follow your soul’s path and follow your
This has brought joy, sorrow, healing and if you’re on your soul’s path by listening to and how actions affect people around you. By inner wisdom? It’s your choice.
much reflection on my life and actions. your body. being aware of yourself and how situations
Re-reading my journal revealed a connection affect you later, you begin to see the outcome
to experiences that influenced later decisions Addictive energy is about the drama and or the payoff of what you choose to do. MaryAine Curtis www.maryainecurtis.com
Women’s Press November & December 2010 Body & Soul | Motherhood 5

The Wisdom of Plants

By Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A.
The wise gardener breaths in the garden’s
lessons along with the fragrance of roses. She
knows that nurturance and protection allow
the seeds of potentiality to express their own
unique language of beauty. New, sweet, and
innocent, the tender miracle of baby petunias,
kittens, and people causes their caregivers to
speak nonsense to them in a higher voice.
The gardener carefully observes, cheers life’s
unfolding, and learns.
Growth is inspired and fed by drinks from
secret underground rivers, as well as dances
in the sunlight. Growth requires sustenance,
and the strongest survivors have developed
structures for the storage of sweet water and
dreams against times of need.
The wise gardener knows that fast, impetu-
ous, one-sided growth doesn’t contribute to
the integrity of the whole being as well as
slower, more balanced, and deliberate growth,
which has fullness and abundance, providing
a firm foundation for the future. In the face
of severe trauma, the carefully built, many
branched life holds firm while the crisp,
impulsive shoots break off.
Each life in the garden evolves in the center
of a cluster of relationships that shape and are
shaped by their touching. A plant that is inof-
fensive when small can grow into a mighty
vine that strangles its neighbor. One calen-
dula pales and dies in the growing shadow of
an ambitious tree. Another crawls along the
earth until it escapes the darkness and lifts
its head triumphantly in the sun. Colonies
of small grasses intertwine in a cooperative
sharing of nutrients at the feet of two old sun-
flowers leaning on each other, while chubby
cupid bees transport love offerings between
the flowers. The garden is a pavilion where
hundreds of life dances are taking place at
once, each dancer becoming its dance.
When the dancing winds down and the
mad scattering of seed is over, the proud old
plants rest in the twilight, their bark scarred
with sacred tattoos. The stooped and knotted
bonsai tree has long ago cast off nonessential
parts and stands forth clad in its most essen-
tial and luminous self. The gardener extends
her hand to feel the springiness of youthful
green crowning her old friend of thirty-two
years. Two messages of knowing flash into her
heart from her fingertips: There is nothing to
fear, and all living things respond to love.
Inglis Carre’-Dellard, M.F.A. is a Los Osos
artist, teacher, and creativity facilitator. For
more information and a free copy of her cre-
ativity newsletter, contact her at ingartist@
yahoo.com, or call (805)534-9693.

Our Three Judges Sharing Your Story

By Ruth Cherry, PhD did in the past is unimportant to this judge By Jennifer Stover important than birth? My guess is women have
for he focuses on the present and the future. been sharing birth stories since the first woman
He knows you have another choice and spoke. We have shared them around fires, at
We’re given trials as part of our life journey. chance today and tonight and tomorrow. I love stories. I have always loved stories: quilting bees and baby showers.
An expected good doesn’t materialize. A stories read to me as a young child, stories that
friendship ends badly. We lose what we His concern is the very long term. He will opened the world to me or my eyes to possi- Telling your story, speaking your truth, unbur-
thought we’d gain. Surprise disappoint- support you in learning what you need to bilities, stories that got me through bad times. dening yourself of pain or grief, or expressing
ments dot our days. What do we do? learn and he doesn’t limit you or pressure you. There are books and characters from my child- your delight, surprise, power, or joy is impor-
You may have all the experiences you want. hood that are dear to me like treasured friends, tant for you, for pregnant moms, and for
For each trial we’re assigned three judges. Our He doesn’t condemn you for your choices or Jo from Little Women or Bilbo from Tolkien’s all of us, for you are imparting your wisdom
inner Critic has been with us seemingly forever. love you less but he does insist that you grow. Ring Trilogy. I learned so much by seeing the woman to woman through a story. Any collec-
Characteristically, he responds, “It’s your fault. world through these wonderful author’s eyes. tion of stories on a single topic which includes
Just another example of how you are not good The first judge has the loudest voice and the many different perspectives and experiences is
enough.” We sigh and hurt and feel ashamed. most familiar one. The second judge allows A few years ago I went to the National Story a powerful learning tool. So I started a local
That’s his job—to shame us and hurt us and us to look at the first judge without being Telling Festival in Tennessee. It was so much Birth Stories project. I am collecting stories and
leave us further away from our Adult. destroyed. The third judge opens our hearts fun just sitting in the damp autumn cold lis- will be posting them to my blog which can be
and allows us to believe in ourselves. Because tening to expert storytellers sharing their easily accessed by women in our community.
The second judge is the Observer we he knows that we deserve the highest and craft. I could have sat there for a week. Some
practice when we meditate. The Observer the best, we can know it, also. We can learn told folktales or children’s stories. Some told If you would like to be part of this project,
is grounded, has no agenda, and is present to listen to this judge and to see the world as historic tales, others far-fetched or nonsense please e-mail me your birth stories at jjm-
to what is at each second. The Observer he sees it and to see ourselves with his gen- stories. But the stories I enjoyed the most were stover@sbcglobal.net. Let me know if I
notices… and releases… and notices… and tleness and compassion and trust. Lovingly, grounded in the storyteller’s personal history, can include your first name. I would like
releases. No matter what is the Observer he invites us to grow into ourselves. culture, or tradition. These are the important to always include where and when you gave
maintains detachment, never condemning stories; the stories that pass down who we birth. Please include the name of anyone
or belittling, just acknowledging. are and how we feel about it. They preserve a you felt helped you through the process in a
Ruth Cherry, PhD, is a clinical psychologist time or place through oral tradition. positive way. If you want you can also include
The third judge is the divine I Am. This judge in private practice in San Luis Obispo, CA.  the names of people who you feel impacted
knows your core is good and deserving of Her specialty is midlife when psychological Birth stories are important. Your birth stories your birth experience in a negative way or
good. Your behavior doesn’t affect this judge’s and spiritual dynamics merge. Her five books are important. They are especially important you can chose to speak about them without
total unconditional acceptance. Whatever you and guided meditation CD are available at to share: woman to woman, decade to decade, attaching a name. To read the stories go to
her web sites, midlifepsychology.com and God- generation to generation. This is the stuff that is www.slolaboroflovedoula.blogspot.com.
Life-You.com. at the core of us. Yes, I know there is more to a
woman than birth, but is there anything more Make your story count!
 6 Motherhood | Local Perspectives
Recycling for mom and the earth
By Renee Sante
Recycling has become more important
than ever these days. It not only saves the
planet but, can save stress on the  demands
of raising a family. For 22 years, Colleen
Twoomey has been providing quality goods
for the growing family, based on the old tra-
dition of passing things along or recycling.
When I asked her what inspired her to begin,
she said, “My daughter was a year old, out-
growing her stuff so quickly. There was
only one store in San Luis  which  had used
clothing. Recycling wasn’t that popular back
then. But realizing that you’d spent a lot of
money on things that you could no longer
use, made it seem practical.”
As the saying goes: “Necessity is the mother
of invention.” Colleen decided to open a
store in Los Osos called Merry Go Round,
even though she was working another  full-
time job.  As her family grew, so did the
stores, and she soon opened a second store
in Los Osos and then another one in San
Luis Obispo. “There’s been constant growth,
good experiences, and people have always
been grateful we’re here.” Indeed, with
Johnson’s Children’s Store closing, infla-
tion, and the economy, Merry Go Round
is holding a niche for people of all walks of
life. It’s vibrant, with new moms, grandpar-
ents, dads, and children coming to play and
see what’s new. There’s been a community of
families, some of whom have become long-
term employees, like Nancy Amato, who’s
been with Colleen for 18 years.
“I’ve seen children grow up and come in to
trade and buy things for their babies. My
patrons are my friends,” says Colleen. It’s
still a small business, which in this economy
can be challenging. “I couldn’t afford to
open a business today in this area. My rent
has quadrupled, worker’s comp and insur-
ance have increased, and I could never afford
the money it would cost to buy inventory, if
it weren’t for recycling.” Having to move
her store 2 years ago from Laguna Plaza to
Madonna Plaza was challenging because the
rent doubled.  Colleen has never advertised
as word of mouth has served her well and
allowed her to keep prices down. What’s
the secret to success and staying afloat?
“Listening to my customers, what their needs
are, keeping the quality good and prices
low (less than half of what retail normally
is), and appreciating their business,” Ms.
Twoomey replies. “Since we have no other
children’s store, I’m always open to new and
different things.”
Indeed, you will find more new items, such
as the popular Bob strollers, which were
invented and made locally by a SLO dad;
Ergo packs created by a mother in Hawaii;
Little Ones shoes designed by a local
mom; and Mellissa and Doug toys. These
days, keeping up on brands, recalls, and
knowing the market is vital. For example,
a couple years ago a law was enacted to
protect children from lead in paint used on
toys primarily made in China. It was sug-
gested that all these toys be thrown into
the landfill, which didn’t sit well with Ms.
Twoomey, who wrote her congressper-
son. She researched the stipulations and
modified what she carried, making sure
they were safe. Her store is one of the few
places around where you can recycle toys, as
most places will no longer carry them  due
to the demands of product research. And it
is one of the best places to find inexpensive
costumes for Halloween.
“The best time of year is coming up soon,
September 18-October 31. We started
carrying Halloween costumes years ago.
We’ve gone from 300 to over 1200 last year.
To get a costume for $10 that they will wear
once or play in, is a great value. We buy all
year to prepare. It’s great  to see how happy
these parents and children are picking out
just the right one. It’s the most fun we have!”
With more and more chain stores coming
onto the retail landscape, some of which
come in for seasonal periods (ie Halloween
& Christmas), capitalize and move on, it’s
good to have the continuity of knowing
someone will be there through the many
years of raising your family. Providing a
place to exchange your goods, find the
things you need, in a family-friendly envi-
ronment is comforting. There’s a play room,
a nursing room, and always a good time to
be had.  Recycling has helped Colleen raise
three children, provided work for many
moms, and affordable goods for families.
If you haven’t had the pleasure of shopping
at Merry Go Round, it’s located in the
Madonna Plaza next to Radio Shack.
Colleen trades or buys clothing, toys,
and furniture  on Monday, Tuesday, and
Thursday mornings from 10-1:30. The store
hours are Mon-Friday, 10-6pm and Saturday,
10-4pm. For more information call 545-8878.
Women’s Press November & December 2010
Help Make Every Home
a Safe Home
Photo by Bill Davenport
By Erica Bashaw and economic abuse.
In the coming weeks the Women’s Shelter The Women’s Shelter Program is commit-
Program of San Luis Obispo County will ted to recognizing and responding to our
begin placing handcrafted donation boxes community’s need for comprehensive multi-
in local businesses as part of its inaugural cultural domestic violence and child abuse
Home Safe Home campaign. They are not services. We understand that domestic
ordinary donation boxes, however. Each violence and child abuse, in their fullest
is an approximately 1-foot-tall wooden scope, impacts primary victims, family
“house” with a donation slot on the “roof.” members, society, and future generations.
The houses signify our efforts to support With this in mind, it is our goal to stop the
survivors of Intimate Partner Violence cycle of violence by providing crisis interven-
(also commonly known as Domestic tion, emergency shelter, advocacy, treatment,
Violence). They embody our desire for prevention, and education.
every home to be a safe home.
Our houses will make their debut during
The houses were built at the California the 2010 holiday season (November and
Men’s Colony’s carpentry shop. Hayward December). If your business is open to the
Lumber, San Luis Paints, and Home public and you are interested in hosting
Depot provided materials and supplies. a house, please contact Erica Bashaw at
Women’s Shelter staff and volunteers then ebashaw@wspslo.com or (805) 781-6401
put their own creative touch on each of extension 223. For more information about
the 30 houses. Donations will support the campaign and to view a list of “host”
our outstanding programs, which in turn businesses, please visit us online at www.wom-
serve survivors. ensshelterslo.org. Your support and donations
allow us to empower IPV survivors to leave
Intimate Partner Violence (IPV) is abusive relationships and seek assistance.
defined as a pattern of coercive behavior
used by adults or adolescents to control
their partners through physical assault or Erica Bashaw is a 4th year Public Relations
the threat of it. No two IPV situations and Pre-Law student at Cal Poly. She is the
are alike, but the goal is always the same: Volunteer Public Relations Coordinator at the
Batterers want to control their intimate Women’s Shelter Program of San Luis Obispo
partners through fear. They attempt this County and is currently organizing the inau-
through physical, sexual, psychological, gural Home Safe Home campaign.
Women’s Press November & December 2010 Local Perspectives 7

Wealth And Riches

Powerful
Reasons to
Make Simple
Marketing
Videos

Photo by Alessandro Paiva

By Adele Sommers, Ph.D. nections, you can market yourself using So, unlike the young birthday girl whose
videos. A video résumé or brochure could By Kathy Bond family doesn’t have much cash, our older
Powerful Reasons to Make consist of you talking about yourself or daughter Angie actually had a healthy
Simple Marketing Videos explaining your products or services. As I know a young girl whose family checking account at the end of her life. It
prospective clients, employers, or business survived foreclosure, bankruptcy, job just couldn’t save her, or buy another day of
As you might be aware, videos are cur- partners hear you speak, they’ll soon feel loss, and moving. As I looked around at life, another hour, another second.
rently the most searched-for content on the as if they already know you, and will be her birthday party, however, I saw aunts,
Internet! They’re credited with the ability to more comfortable doing business with you. uncles, cousins, grandparents, and friends Angie died in late April 2009, a month
quickly generate high rankings in Google crowded into that small front lawn and before her daughter’s 18th birthday and high
and other search engines. Are you wonder- Building a Blog Following, house. We ate a four-layer chocolate school graduation. She’ll never see her son
ing just how or where you would use video cake that her father baked. She opened finish school, marry, or have children. She
content to highlight your online business Subscriber List, a ton of presents, and thanked everyone. could send her daughter on a graduation
or profession? Below are three angles for or Membership Site We laughed, sang, and talked, and on trip to Europe, but Angie’s final journey
creating videos to boost your online visibil- that hot November day in the golden meant having her ashes scattered in the
ity, credibility, and authority. Linking relevant YouTube videos from California late afternoon sunlight, you Susquehanna River, part of the Chesapeake
your blog can increase traffic and social could hear conversations and laughter of watershed, that empties into the Atlantic.
Promoting Books or Products media buzz. When creating your own three generations.
videos, be sure to instruct viewers at the Two different scenarios: decide who’s richest
There are many creative ways to use videos end to visit your Web site. By contrast, our daughter, Angie, had a in this fable of a princess and a queen, a
to promote your own products. If you are sizeable estate by the time she died. woman who lived intensely and died in mid-
writing a book (or e-book), you might At your site, you may want to have an life, or a young girl with her nose pressed
want to also create a video trailer to go e-mail sign-up area to collect subscriber If you’re in Hospice, with its end-of life against the window of her old condo, the
along with it. names to continuously grow your list. If definition, you can access your life insur- only home she knew, but with a future.
you have an information product or offer ance policies. Angie could buy a car, pay
A video trailer is a promotional piece that a service, you could use one or two “teaser” hospital and doctor bills, and establish I also met another young girl who knows
tells some part of the story, or highlights videos to pique your prospects’ interest. trust funds for her children. It put her in the price of everything, but I wonder if she
some of the benefits of your book (perhaps Then you might invite people to sign up the driver’s seat, for her Maryland hospice knows the value of things. I gaze at the pink
even exaggerates the benefits in a comical to access even more video content inside team included a financial planner. But not bracelet made by my four-year old grand-
or dramatic way). Think of the trailer as the of a password-protected membership area, even that much money could change the daughter, that I treasure and wear happily,
“movie premier” of your book. for example. outcome of her cancer prognosis. and I wouldn’t trade it for a gold, jewel-
encrusted one from the finest store.
In fact, you might even make a series of In any case, there are plenty of ways to use
videos with the same theme, which will video in your marketing campaigns!
thereby help “brand” your material. One
example of an e-book trailer that did
extremely well is “The Jackrabbit Factor” Adele Sommers, Ph.D. is a business perfor- Mira Vista Apartments
(now on YouTube), which features inspiring mance consultant who helps entrepreneurs 11153 El Camino Real
visuals, melodic music, and a thought-pro- align their life passions with their business
voking story. A paper version of the book purpose. She also guides organizations Atascadero CA 93422
sells on Amazon, and the author also gives through “tactical tune-ups” and “strategic ph/fax 805.461.1143
away the e-book for free. makeovers” in individual or group sessions.
Contact her today for a free initial consul-
www.miravistaapts.com
Marketing Yourself tation at Adele@LearnShareProsper.com, or
805-462-2199.
Professionally
Safe • Clean
If you’re seeking employment, expanding
your services, or making new business con- Quiet • Non-Smoking
8 Local Perspectives
By Berta Parrish
At one time in our lives, we have all felt the
frustration of paralyzing indecision. Which
should we listen to: the longings of the soul
or the practicality of the mind? Our dreams
are weighed by the ratio of costs to benefits
and gains to sacrifices. Often, we reject or
postpone our deepest desires to take care of
other people or more urgent needs. However,
an authentic “inner knowing” won’t go
away; it waits and grows until we acknowl-
edge it and surrender to its potential. Then,
as so beautifully portrayed in Paul Coelho’s
popular fable The Alchemist, the entire
universe conspires in helping us achieve it.
Nevertheless, it takes a huge leap of faith to
commit to such a journey into the unknown
future, as Janice Mehring experienced at
the age of 45 when she decided to become a
rabbi. Without realizing it, her passions for
music and for healing prepared her well for
this calling. After being a physical therapist
in Southern California, she moved to the
Central Coast in 1985 to join her chiroprac-
tor husband. She eventually started a private
physical therapy practice in Los Osos.
The responsibilities of the practice, and
eventually motherhood, kept her from
singing for almost 20 years. A college
reunion was the impetus to begin again, and
Women’s Press November & December 2010
Unsung Heroine
Janice Mehring:
Following her
Destiny
she joined the Cuesta Master Chorale and remembers that “balancing family and
became a cantorial soloist at Congregation school was very challenging. But my soul
Beth David in SLO and Congregation Ohr was being fed. I was immersed in learning
Tzafon in Atascadero. When she sang sacred and personal spiritual growth. I had to
music, she experienced a connection to God focus on the journey and not worry about
and became a conduit for others. The enthu- the end result. Even if I didn’t complete
siastic reaction of the audience contributed the training to be a rabbi, it was worth it
to her growing awareness that this gift for myself.”
should be nurtured and shared, possibly as
an ordained cantor. Janice was ordained in May and is
“I wanted to learn, but I was frustrated and
now serving as a “singing rabbi” at
Congregation Ohr Tzafon (Light of
discouraged with the logistics. Seminary the North), affiliated with the Union
takes five years of study and focused dedica- for Reform Judaism. Additionally,
tion. How was I to do it with a family and she is committed to fostering inter-
living here, not in LA where the seminary faith understanding as a member of the
is?” she recalls. SLO Ministerial Association and serves
as the Interfaith Liaison for the Jewish
Serendipitously, a stranger she met at a spir- Community Center of San Luis Obispo.
itual retreat provided the needed insight by She believes that “there is more than
asking, “What would you do if there were one path to God. We need to go beyond
no boundaries?” Well, she knew the answer finding common ground in our faith tra-
to that question. He also provided two bits ditions to mutual respect and honoring
of advice that moved indecision to decision: our differences.”
Don’t underestimate what loved ones will do Janice Mehring listened to her soul’s call
to help you accomplish your dreams. to fulfill her destiny and the universe
conspired with supportive family,
Put together a team of people to support you. encouraging friends, and surprising coin-
cidences. She found the persistence and
With the encouragement of family and strength to overcome the obstacles and do
friends, she entered the Academy for Jewish what is God’s will for her life.
Religion, CA and spent five years com-
muting weekly to LA for classes. Janice What would you do if there were no boundaries?
Hunkering
Down into
Fall
By Kalila Volkov
It used to be that in New England
autumn called out from the crows
in the tawny fallow fields.
It sweetly scented the morning with fallen
apples
frost crept along window ledges
and wood smoke ushered in starry evenings.
The changes are oh so subtle now
being a California girl
and yet I feel the need to drape myself.
The shift comes on in light brushstrokes.
I smell it faintly in the air
I feel its dampness on my skin
angles of light drop lower and lower
as breezes push harder and deeper.
These touches bring me heady anticipation of pie
and other oven treasures
that bond my little family and warm us on
chilly nights.
Our foggy summer is so damp and cold,
I welcome the glow of sunny autumn
its comforts, its mellowing of days
turning into long dark evenings
when we go inside and turn on a light
a perfect image for why we are here.
The Explorer
By Barbara Atkinson, November 1997
Watching Africa on television,
The wide open plains once unknown,
I wonder about the adventurous life,
And me sticking so close to home.
There is a romance to wandering,
And I am captive to its call.
But the voice I feel comes from within,
Echoing vast expanses and disintegrating walls.
I am an explorer of creative places,
Of spaces still unseen.
I feel things I’ve never felt before,
Hear songs I’ve yet to sing.
This inner safari is limitless,
Harbors the discerning, spiritual eye.
Full of courage and loving wisdom,
It discovers the world that never dies.
Women’s Press November & December 2010
One More
Nature Poem
By Jane Elsdon
Your nature is quiet as high desert at dawn,
quiet as a wilderness trail twisting upward
to the remote sculpture of a Sierra summit.
Quiet is the air you breathe, the quality
of love in the room you inhabit.
It is the luxurious warmth and security
indivisible from your tall, lanky frame,
and your beloved peaceful presence.
Our home is silent without you.
Your recliner is overstuffed with silence,
an overpowering,  raucous silence
rowdier than a Lakers game or ESPN.
It fills and permeates every room,
seeps into every crack and crevice.
It molds my moods, before it sweeps me up
into the welcome realization
how blessed I am, for your absence
is only temporary.  Any moment now
you will walk through the door.
Local Perspectives 9
The Gull
By Rose Marie
A gull poses on the sand
A moment later soars, glides, dips,
Rides a wave,
Returns, stands
Scanning the sea.
I wait but he will not move again
Until he has a reason,
Sees a ripple,
A quickening of the waters.
He senses my presence,
For I am watching;
But, though alien, I am
Inconsequential.
He does not need
To be fed,
Sheltered,
Caressed.
While I who need these things
Marvel at his savage freedom.
Instinct swivels his neck
Nurturing Kairos
As it swivels the necks of
Boys on street corners,
But he will never wake up
Years from now with regrets.
Guilt is a strange and second guessing. Photo by Xx
But there is a sense like ours,
When we walk a dark street late at night By Jeannie Greensfelder Kairos is transcendence, infinity, reverence,
That makes him strain into the sea silence, joy, passion, love, the Sacred.
Searching out the invader. Near Dublin a gardener named Gus greeted
We have much in common. me, “ 'Tis a beautiful day. We Irish crave Kairos is intimacy with the Real. Kairos is
sunshine.” This white-haired, blue eyed time at her best. …Kairos is Spirit’s time.
man shined light into my trip when he
told me not to count the days I had left in We exist in chronos. We long for kairos.”
Ireland, but to live in kairos, not in chronos.
Ancient Greeks honored chronos and kairos. If entering kairos appeals to you, think
Chronos refers to sequential time, and kairos about ways to slow time down, to step into
(named for Zeus’s son Kairos) suggests going the parallel universe of timelessness. I like
outside of time, into an eternal moment. to take three conscious breaths at different
times during the day. Sitting quietly and
My days in Ireland expanded as I watched releasing my “to do” list, knowing when
the clock less and relaxed into enjoying I pick it up again, I’ll feel fresh. Spirit can
people, nature, and myself. I wrote poetry be found in simple, everyday moments:
each day and spent time each morning noticing a toddler’s joy, feeling water in the
thinking about my dreams. shower, and being grateful for the gift of
being alive.
When I got home, I found a quote by Sarah
Ban Breathnach that explains why kairos is Calendars and chronos still rule, but revisit
elusive: your priorities and save time for yourself,
family, friends, spirituality and nature.
“Chronos is clocks, deadlines, watches,
calendars, agendas, planners, schedules,
beepers. Chronos is time at her worst. Jeannie Greensfelder slocoastjournal.
Chronos keeps track. …Chronos is the com/docs/geniespocket.html amuseandmuse.
world’s time. blogspot.com
10 NOW News
Coordinator’s Corner
By Angie King
It’s Holiday season – again! And, while I have lots to be personally thankful for--as
we all have – it’s been a hard year for the nation and the world. Wars are still being
waged, real people are dying needlessly, money is being wasted, misused, and pocketed
by greedy corrupt functionaries, depriving you and me of safe streets, fully resourced
public schools, money to strengthen our economy by investing in future looking tech-
nologies and manufacturing.
According to a book by Joseph Stiglitz and Linda Bilmes (The Three Trillion Dollar War:
the True Cost of the Iraq Conflict), the estimated cost of the war in Iraq is really far too
low if one takes into account the broader impact on the US economy: cost of treating
veterans, cost of oil, decreased economic investment in the war area, increased federal
debt and the economic meltdown of the past 3 years. Think what America might have
been like with that money being used for productive uses. No wonder we’re depressed.
The sense that the needs of ordinary people don’t count has even affected (or infected)
NOW. There are allegations which we had kept quiet about, but which are now publicly
being aired (see “American Electra” by Susan Faludi in the October 2010 Harper’s) that
the current NOW leadership “stole” the last election, and are systematically eviscer-
ating the treasury for their own ends, thereby depriving the grass roots chapters, the
lifeblood of the organization, from getting their members’ dues. This is the major source
of income for the chapters and provides the financial basis to fulfill the NOW mission
to take action. So, without money, there’s no action. Without action, injustices go un-
redressed and un-acknowledged. Your local chapter is one of those victims.
But at least we now know more about those injustices and costs in SLO County. The San
Luis Obispo County Community Foundation Women’s Legacy Fund recently produced
the results of its study of what SLO County women need and the obstacles preventing
them from fulfilling those needs. Not unsurprisingly, the main needs are education and
basic needs (food, clothing, shelter, medical attention, etc). Duh. The main obstacles
facing women in the county are financial management, legal assistance, housing, health
care and child care. Again, duh. NOW has argued these issues since our founding in
1966, but I guess it’s official now that there’s reported data. The question is what will we
as a society do about this information?
It goes back to the question of money. If we stopped spending our public money on an
unwinnable, immoral war, we could provide for those basic needs and education and
health care and child care. I hope this election will result in the needed change in our
priorities. That’s my wish for the holidays.
Women’s Press November & December 2010
NOW News
E conomic Justice: Paycheck Fairness Act - S.3772-- which the House adopted in early
2009, will close loopholes in the Equal Pay Act of 1963 and create incentives for employ-
ers to follow the law. NOW supports passage of the PFA as an important step the US
Senate can take to help working families. Both our senators are co-sponsors. Of critical
importance is a provision in the act that would prohibit retaliation against employees
when salary information is shared. Newly analyzed data from the U.S. Bureau of Census
for 2009 show an unprecedented number of women now are family breadwinners due to
rising unemployment among men -- making pay equity vital not only to family economic
security but to the nation’s economic recovery as well. On average, the pay gap costs
women about $11,000 each year in lower income, more than $400,000 over a lifetime.
R eproductive R ights: The federal government has released pre-regulatory model guide-
lines for the implementation of the anti-abortion rights provisions that was tacked on to
the Affordable Care Act to secure the votes of a handful of religious fundamentalists in
Congress. These rules require health insurers who participate in exchanges, to segregate
funds for abortion care. This does a grave injustice to women; insults those paying into
plans -- young, old, women, men, as well as payroll account administrators. The burden-
some monthly “two-check” requirement will likely lead to the end of private coverage for
abortion care, even for women with the luxury to afford their own insurance premiums.
On the gay and lesbian front: 1. DADT: NOW condemns the Senate’s failure to repeal
the U.S. military’s discriminatory Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell (DADT) policy. This policy,
which bars lesbians and gay men from serving openly in the military, has resulted in the
unjust discharge of more than 14,000 service members. The measure would not have
taken effect until the certification of the much-awaited Pentagon report on implementa-
tion of the policy’s repeal, due Dec. 1.
“Women and men who dedicated their lives to serving their country have had their
careers ended -- not because of their job performance but because of their sexual orien-
tation,” said NOW President Terry O’Neill. “The tide has officially turned on this issue
-- 57 percent of people now say that openly gay service members should be allowed to
serve in the military. Why can’t the Senate do the right thing?” asked O’Neill.
2. DOMA – On July 8 a federal court judge in Boston ruled that the federal Defense of
Marriage Act is an unconstitutional violation of a state’s ability to define marriage as well
as a violation of the US Constitutional guarantee of equal protection. DOMA, passed by
a Republican controlled congress in 1996, defines marriage as occurring only between one
man and one woman in all federal laws. It denies to same sex couples who legally marry
the more than 1,100 benefits, protections and responsibilities afforded to other married
couples and allows individual states to refuse to recognize same sax marriages performed
in other jurisdictions. NOW urges Congress to repeal DOMA by passing the Respect for
Marriage Act pending in the House. Rep. Capps is a co sponsor.
1124 Nipomo Street, San Luis Obispo, CA 93401 | 805 544-9313
WCC NEWS
By Angie King
Resources
For a more complete listing,
visit the wccslo.org/resources/
Thanks!
ABUSE
SARP (Sexual Assault Recovery &
Prevention)
545.8888 | 800.656.HOPE (4673)
Women’s Shelter Program of SLO
781.64 | w w w.womensshelterslo.org
ADDICTIONS
Drug & Alcohol Services
781.4275
Women for Sobriet y
215.536.8026 | www.womenforsobriety.org
CHILDREN & FAMILIES
Childcare Resource Connection
541.2272 | 800.727.2272
First 5: Children & Families
Commission
781.4058; ask for Susan Hughs
As you know, the WCC office for the past
year has been in the San Luis Business
Center, convenient in many ways, but not
very private and not very welcoming. Our
lease was up over the summer, but with Day
with Creative Women in August, we didn’t
actually plan to move until the beginning
of September. Just after the last issue of the
Women’s Press went to print, the WCC found
our new home. While we missed announcing
our move last time, we are pleased to let
everyone know where we are now. It’s a very
welcoming, 2-room suite in the back of an
old-adobe style building at:
1124-D Nipomo St. in downtown SLO
The good news is we love it; it’s comfortable,
affordable, and has just the right amount of
room for our classes and seminars. The bad
news is that there’s no free parking. We’ve
already helped the city’s finances by incurring
parking tickets! If you drop by, either walk or
park in one of the city parking structures.
The other big news is that with the move,
we changed where the legal clinic is held.
EMERGENCY/CRISIS
Hotline
w w w.slohotline.org 800.549.8989
Sexual & Rape Prevention (SARP)
545.8888 | 800.656.HOPE (4673)
Temporary Restraining Order &
Victim Witness Program
781.5821
EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
Alzheimer’s Association
547.3830
Communit y Counseling Center
543.7969
Creative Mediation
549.0442
GAY & LESBIAN
Gay and Lesbian Alliance of the
Central Coast
541.4252
PFLAG.Parents & Friends of Lesbians & Gays
438.3889
SOL (Single Older Lesbians)
474.9405; Mostly socializing!
HOSPICE
Hospice of SLO Count y, AIDS
Bereavement Group
544.2266 | 434.1164
Hospice Partners of the Central Coast
782.8608
Women’s Community Center | Resources 11
Thanks to the SLO County Law Library, we As 2010 draws to a close, WCC says thank
are now holding our clinic in the law library! you to everyone who helps us out – writing
We are very excited about the new collab- for, getting ads for, and distributing the
oration. The library likes it because more Women’s Press; volunteering at one of
people are exposed to the resources available our regular family law activities, includ-
to the public; the lawyers like it because it is ing court watch; and, of course, for your
in the courthouse and close to their offices, monetary donations that keep us going.
making it easier to volunteer their time; and More and more people are in precarious sit-
we like it because it gives us more stature in uations, increasing the calls to the office for
the community. The clinic is still the 4th help. We are trying to do more this year,
Tuesday of every month at 5:30 PM. If you but have less to work with. The County
need our help, please call ahead to register. grant was halved and overhead costs are
up, including insurance for BETTER.
The other good news is that the BETTER Please consider a year-end gift to WCC.
program keeps growing! The courts are now
including us in their orders regarding visitation You can donate directly through our
and the calls are flooding our office. Of course, web page: wccslo.org
the down side of all that increased volume is Another way to donate is to register us as
that we need your help more than ever! We your friendship club code when you use your
really need people in the office to handle the Scolari’s card. Our code is 5472. Register on
calls. Someone willing to take over scheduling line at scolaristore.com/our-company.aspx
visits and interviews with new clients would be and WCC will receive 1% of all your purchases!
awesome. Please consider giving us a morning
or afternoon once a week to help out. We are Happy Holidays.
all volunteers, even the board, but there is only
so much one person can handle. Call the office
or email us to volunteer.
JOBS/CAREERS Women’s Healthcare Specialists
544.4883
Cuesta College
Jobline 546.3127
POLITICAL
http://w w w.cuesta.edu
NOW (National Organization for
The Creekside Career Center
Women)
788.2600 | 237.3014 w w w.kcbx.net/~slonow/slonow@kcbx.net
w w w.slocareers.org
Mission Communit y Services READERS/WRITERS
Corporation
Women’s Business Partners Adult Literacy
595.1357 | w w w.mcscorp.org 541-4219
LEGAL SENIORS
California Rural Legal Assistance
544.7994 Adult Protective Services
781.1790
Lawline
788.2099 Department of Social Services:
Law yer Referral and Information In-Home Support
Service 781.1790
541.5502
Pro Per Divorce Workshop
544.9313
Please send additions,
corrections or deletions to:
MEDICAL SUPPORT/
womenspress.slo@gmail.com
SERVICES or leave a message at the WCC:
EOC Health Services Clinics 805.544.9313.
no/low cost reproductive health services
544.2478 (SLO) | 489.4026 (Arroyo Grande)
Last update 10/29/10.
Long-term Care Ombudsman Services
of SLO Count y
785.0132
Planned Parenthood
549.9446 ( SLO)
12

Women’s Community Center

PO Box 15639
San Luis Obispo, CA 93406 325

805 544-9313