how to talk to women so they find you totally irresistible By Christopher Williamson

Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

Copyright © Christopher Williamson 2005. All Rights Reserved.
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© Christopher Williamson 2005


Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

”The great question that has never been answered, and which I have not yet been able to answer, despite my thirty years of research into the feminine soul, is ’What does a woman want?’” – Sigmund Freud
Why does dating seem so confusing and illogical? No matter how much we think about the dynamics between men and women, nothing seems to make sense. Men have always asked themselves questions such as: What defining characteristic makes women love some men and never notice others? Why do women say one thing but mean another? Why is it so hard to start conversations with women? Do similarities or opposites attract? What really attracts women? Maybe famous psychiatrist Sigmund Freud couldn’t answer the question, “What does a woman want?” but you can be certain by the end of this book you’ll have the answer. As we embark on this journey to understand the differences between men and women take notes and refer to them often. They’ll help you grasp the concepts and jump-start your success. All the best,

© Christopher Williamson 2005


...........................17 Step 3................................................. 9 Women’s Ultimate Fantasy.................................................................................................................................................................................31 Non-Verbal Flirting...28 Anti-Flirting .........................................................19 Gradual Improvement ...............................................................11 Bad Opening Lines In Clubs.................. 9 ‘Real Man’ Test: Will He Talk To Me? .....................13 Where to Meet Women ......................................................................................38 © Christopher Williamson 2005 4 www.................................................................................................18 The Bar Bet .......................................................................FlirtingFormula....................................................................................................................................................................23 Section 1: Flirting Introduction.......................22 Clubs and Bars .............................................................................................................................................................................................................. 7 Why Men Approach Women ....20 Indirect Approaches ..................................10 Powerful Beliefs ...................................22 Parties ................................................................................................................................................................................................15 Approach Anxiety Action Plan ..........................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................29 Section 2: Flirting Components ..........................................................................Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Contents Chapter 1: How To Meet Women....26 Interpretation ...31 Verbal Flirting..............................................34 Section 3: The “Playful Conflict” Flirting Formula .................................................................................................................................................28 Flirting vs..19 Start Conversations with Everyone .............................................25 Why Is Flirting Important?.... 7 Approach Excuses ......25 What Is Flirting? Chapter 2: How To Talk To Women .......................................................................................17 Continuing Steps .................................................... 7 Fear.....................................................................................11 Power Approach Technique ......................................27 Flirting Instincts.........................................15 Step 1...18 Persistence ..................................................................................................... 24 ..........................................................................................21 Classrooms .................................................................................................................................................................................................. Rapport ...................16 Step 2.....................................38 Playfully Provoke .14 Hesitation ..................

Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

Chapter 3: First Conversations With Women..................................................... 52
People Want What They Can't Have ..................................................52 Sucking Up vs. Playing Hard-To-Get .................................................53 Section 1: Phrases, Games and Pickup Lines .....................................54 Cute Line ............................................................................................54 “Who Would You Do?” Game .........................................................54 Pickup Lines Game ...........................................................................55 “We Should Start Our Own…!” Role Play Game ..........................56 Conclusion .........................................................................................57 Section 2: Body Language ....................................................................58 Posture................................................................................................59 Eye Contact ........................................................................................60 Head Positioning ...............................................................................61 Nervous Body Language ..................................................................62 Flirtatious Body Language ...............................................................63 First Impressions Last ..........................................................................64 How To Get Phone Numbers ..............................................................65 Initial Resistance ...................................................................................65 Power Question: “Am I prepared with something to say?” ............67 How To Call Women............................................................................67 Text Messaging Women.......................................................................68 Text Message Battles ............................................................................72 How To Act On The Phone..................................................................73 Word-for-Word Phone Conversation .................................................73 Genuineness ..........................................................................................75 Examples: The Flirting Formula During Dates..................................75 Shopping ............................................................................................76 Coffee..................................................................................................76

Playfully Disagree .............................................................................38 Playfully Accuse ................................................................................38 Playfully Compete.............................................................................38 Section 4: Flirting Qualities..................................................................39 The 3 Qualities ...................................................................................39 Confident Flirting..............................................................................40 Playful Flirting...................................................................................44 Sexual Flirting....................................................................................46 Without The 3 Qualities....................................................................51

Chapter 4: Phone Dynamics ................. 65

© Christopher Williamson 2005


Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

Chapter 6: Dating Guidelines............... 80
1. Answer demographic questions with sarcasm..............................80 2. Kiss her by the end of the date ........................................................81 3. See her once a week for two months...............................................82 4. Cultivate the ability to not care........................................................82 5. Be a gentleman ..................................................................................83 6. Look sharp.........................................................................................84 7. Reward women for good behavior...................................................85 8. Compliment women on their personalities ...................................85

Mini Golf ............................................................................................77 Movies ................................................................................................78 What To Talk About On Dates............................................................79 Good Topics .......................................................................................79 Deadly Topics ....................................................................................79

Chapter 7: Intimacy With Women....... 88
Preparation ............................................................................................88 Flirtatious Mood ...................................................................................89 Suggestive Mood ..................................................................................90 Section 1: Sexy Body Language ...........................................................90 Smile With Your Eyes .......................................................................90 Slow, Deep and Deliberate Speech ..................................................91 Personal Space ...................................................................................91 Section 2: Sexy Talk ..............................................................................91 Oranges Dialogue..............................................................................92 Magic Pen Dialogue ..........................................................................92 How To Turn Women On....................................................................93 Model The Masters ...............................................................................95 Big Personalities....................................................................................96 Learning Process...................................................................................97

Chapter 8: Flirting Action Plan ............ 95

© Christopher Williamson 2005


Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

Chapter 1: How To Meet Women
No it’s not heights, spiders or even the dark. Men’s ultimate fear is starting conversations with women. For most men, approaching women is close to the scariest thing they’ll ever do in their entire life. I’m not kidding! Most men don’t start out afraid of approaching women. There’s always a story behind it. One day a man decides to approach a woman but instead of getting the outcome he expected he is embarrassed, humiliated or laughed at. He concludes that all women dislike him. It only takes one harsh rejection to cause a man to never approach another woman for the rest of his life. Living this life of unhappiness, he sometimes “gets lucky” with the occasional girlfriend, but she’s usually not someone he truly deserves. Unfortunately he doesn’t believe he can do any better and never bothers trying ever again. Well, I’ve got news for these men. Even naturals and super-stud Casanovas get rejected. Everyone gets rejected; it’s part of life. The solution is not to avoid rejection but to understand that it’s normal and to deal with it. Unfortunately, the only way to get rid of this intense emotional state called fear is to face it. I know you didn’t want to hear that, but this is the only real way to end your fears forever. The solution to this problem will be explained later. First we must understand what really stops us from making a move.

Approach Excuses
Let me tell you a story. Away for the summer at his beach house, John noticed a woman he wanted to meet. John walked down towards the waves as she played around near the water’s edge, laughing and giggling with her friends. Witnessing the potential interaction, I saw that the group of women knew exactly what was going on. By just lingering around near the water for a long time, looking stupid in the process, John managed to make the girls feel uncomfortable, dampening his

© Christopher Williamson 2005


Here are the common excuses: • • • • • • • • • No. These excuses are rubbish! Women in relationships are often flattered to have men approach them and a simple “Thanks anyway” ends the conversation. Men also raise and lower their standards within seconds. And finally. “I looked at her. I won’t disturb her. Ninety-nine point 999 per cent of the time men won’t do anything. from lack of confidence. she’s way out of my league.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know chances should he eventually speak. you are only cheating yourself. This excuse simply becomes an © Christopher Williamson 2005 8 www. No. Excuses allow the ego to feel safe and unbroken. even if they’re right next to their girlfriend when you talk to her.FlirtingFormula. He was so fragile he couldn’t even admit he didn’t have the guts to approach them. No. she’s walking past me. she’s on the dance floor. it’s too loud to talk there. With this state of mind men invent outrageous excuses to keep themselves from meeting new women and simultaneously protect their fragile ego. Part of being a masculine male involves being the leader. No. so men never take action. so there is no excuse not to interrupt her daily routine. if she has a boyfriend he might beat me up. If you don’t go over and talk to a woman it’s very unlikely she will come over and start a conversation with you. now she needs to do the rest!” Sadly John didn’t understand what the role of a masculine man was. No. What causes this fear is an imaginary voice in one’s head. No. No. “What happened?” He replied. When he came back I asked him. But he never actually went over and talked to the group of women. reinforcing the view that nothing could have been done in the particular situation anyway. claiming that women are too attractive or not attractive enough. No. The brain becomes so creative that it makes up an excuse for every single situation where it’s possible to meet women. If you make excuses. Do you think these women would start a conversation first? No. she looks bitchy and mean. she’s sitting at a . decision-maker and initiator of all interactions. she’s probably got a boyfriend. from not knowing the outcome of a situation. women want to be swept off their feet as if “by magic”. she looks busy. No. she’s with her friends. Excuses come from doubt.

and the ability to lead situations. So before you can date any woman you need to go through a series of tests that prove your masculinity. what do I say? I need something creative to say. there are only three vital steps to attracting the quality of woman you deserve. Why Men Must Approach Women Let me ask you this: Would you decide to date a woman that you’d only spoken to over the phone but didn’t know what she looked like? You’d be very interested in her physical appearance before you’d consider showing interest in her personality or interests. women also want to see proof that men possess masculine qualities like confidence. what can I say?” While the man thinks of something to say the woman gets up and leaves. Just as men need to see evidence that a woman is appealing (physically attractive). © Christopher Williamson 2005 9 www. The ability to change your thinking and beliefs also changes your results in the dating world. and the man misses his opportunity. whether they’re consciously aware of it or not. you’ll always get the same results. if a man’s scared of a woman how’s he ever going to protect her? Your duty as a man is to approach the woman and make the first contact with her. I want to meet this woman. Do you think men are considered masculine if they are scared in the presence of a beautiful woman? Heck. These are action steps men must take to prove themselves. One test a woman uses to filter out weak men is to see if her beauty intimidates .FlirtingFormula.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know endless loop that ultimately gets men nowhere. interest and desire.” If you continue to make these excuses to yourself. if men cannot perform these three steps they are not attractive. So what happens when men don’t feed their minds any excuses to meet women? They freeze. don’t expect your dating situation to ever change. What can I say. In the eyes of women. Umm. ‘Real Man’ Test: Will He Talk To Me? As we’ve mentioned. In order to see if men possess the qualities they seek women set up favourable situations to test men’s masculinity. “If you continue to do the same things. These are the flirting actions: comfort. “Oh.

It’s all part of testing men. © Christopher Williamson 2005 10 . For these reasons men must approach women. coolest sunglasses and sexiest tans. the man must still make the first move or nothing will happen. and less confident men are often so intimidated by this aura that they decide to do nothing. Just take action. A woman’s dream is to meet a masculine and charming man in an ordinary. women won’t be interested. everyday place. Period. The same rules apply in isolated settings. Having the entire situation “just happen” is perfect. This may seem cruel but it’s the harsh reality of attracting women you’ve never met before. Why? Their image screams. Don’t wait for a go signal like eye contact or someone to introduce you. This sneaky strategy can be employed by a woman to filter out the less confident men from ever approaching her. They’ll watch men as they approach and compete. Even if women are ready and willing they almost never take the first step. ultimately saving her lots of time. She only wants to date the most masculine and fearless partners possible. These ideas come from the fairy tales we’ve been taught since an early age. the harder it is for a man to start a conversation with her.FlirtingFormula. Waiting for the man to lead allows the woman to assess the sort of man she’s dealing with and gives him the opportunity to attract her. rather than walk around and start these interactions themselves. This is just one of the ways women filter out men that don’t fit their image of the ideal man. If men can’t initiate and escalate the situation. If they’ve been talking in front of a roasting fire with romantic lighting and seductive music.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know If you’re not willing to walk up to a woman and open your mouth because you’re too scared. “stay away”. then she already knows you’re not the man she’s looking for. Their instinctive habits are to passively observe males with strong masculine behaviour. Women’s Ultimate Fantasy Another way to make sense of this is to imagine women’s ideal scenario. Women are drawn to men’s leadership qualities. and often don’t smile when walking through the world. Exceptionally beautiful women wear the most stylish clothes. Do you feel even more intimidated by the thought of approaching an extremely attractive woman? The more beautiful the woman.

Some of these beliefs may seem arrogant but that’s because success often breeds arrogance. rides to the castle. humble. Whether a man stays arrogant or becomes humble. Powerful Beliefs The successful man holds only powerful positive beliefs that allow him to approach beautiful women everywhere without even hesitating. Women want to be approached. But after a time men go from shy. It’s her loss. The story of Prince Charming is the model for women’s ideal man. but to women these stories take on greater meaning. risking his life. Women want to be “swept off their feet”. So to start transforming these beliefs we will now explore the powerful technique used to approach women confidently and without fear of rejection. I’m just going to talk – let’s see what else she has going for her. Power Approach Technique Have you ever felt nervous asking someone for directions? What’s about the time? Chances are you approached these people confidently and without a blink of hesitation because you sincerely wanted to know the information you were seeking. Once men experience success the power often goes to their heads. Men may find these tales childish and stupid. I have nothing to lose. They love these sagas of romantic heroes facing danger. After having enough positive experiences to reinforce their beliefs men lock powerful beliefs into their minds. risking their lives and leading women away to live happily ever after. These powerful beliefs are the only things that separate success from failure. no man can just believe “women love me” without some sort of experience reinforcing their belief.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know The stories always go something like this: a knight in shining armour. © Christopher Williamson 2005 11 www. If she’s not interested that’s OK. defeats the dangerous creature and saves the princess from her misery. there’s plenty more . to arrogant and finally. Women love me. Positive Beliefs: • • • • • Women love sex.

Your only goal is to learn from the experience. If you simply change your mindset when thinking about women you take the pressure off and allow yourself to start conversations with them easily. what time is this place closing? Hey. get her number or get a kiss or else they are a loser! Putting the pressure on yourself by saying that “you must get this girl” would make anyone extremely nervous. You’re not trying to get her number. When your goal is to learn from the experience you can’t fail because no matter what happens you’ll always learn something. have you tried vodka and cranberry juice? Is it nice? Shopping Mall Hey. where’s the closest coffee shop around here? Hey. Here are 11 examples of sincere questions you can ask women.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know No sweating palms. A sincere question helps you come across cool and calm because you’re tricking your own mind to forget about the outcome and just flirt with women. (show picture of tattoo) what do you think? Hey. is it just me or is it cold in here? Anywhere Hey. The reason most men get terrified when they conceive the thought of approaching a beautiful woman is because they associate getting results with the interaction. What do you think? . do you know what this song is called? Hey guys. I was thinking of getting this tattoo drawn on my upper back. but the idea is to disassociate you from trying to “get results”. Ask her anything. do you guys know who the DJ is? Hey. This mindset takes the pressure off getting results. A great way to start approaching women is to find one thing that you sincerely want to know and use it to initiate conversations. thumping heart or nervous screeching voice. where’s the best shop with sexy clothes for guys? Super Market Hey.FlirtingFormula. kiss her or impress her. I just bought these jeans and was wondering if I made the right decision. Club Hey guys. what’s the time? (careful it's hard to come across natural with this one) Information or opinions as mentioned above work quite well if they’re things you sincerely want to find out from people. what tastes better oranges or mandarins? Hey. They burden themselves with so much pressure by believing they have to make her laugh. Opening your mouth and saying something is better than © Christopher Williamson 2005 12 www.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know saying nothing at all. Verbalising these words can quickly make you seem just like every other man out there. Maybe this girl knows where the shop is. Not only is this line used all the time but also the implication behind the line makes you seem weak. Bad Opening Lines In Clubs When most men talk to women they fall into the trap of asking the same boring non-flirtatious questions every other guy has already asked her.FlirtingFormula. you are trying to get the experience of approaching women you’ve never spoken to. Men approach women in bars and clubs using this pathetic icebreaker thinking they have a great . because you’re not putting pressure on yourself to get results. Yes. It’s funny how we laugh at these questions with our friends and realize they have no positive impact. Mindset Less effective: More effective: I must get this girl’s number. Use this concept as a set of training wheels to get you started approaching women today. © Christopher Williamson 2005 13 www. Do you come here often? Almost every man has used this line when he is scared and has run out of things to say. I hope I don’t stuff it up. there should be no problem approaching a woman. HE JUST: went and bought me a drink. I wonder what she thinks of my shirt. Some might argue that using a sincere question is manipulation because you’re trying to get something from the woman indirectly. yet when our palms are sweaty and our minds are racing these are the stock standard questions we come up with in order to quickly break the awkward silence. This technique is very powerful in helping men get over their initial fear of approaching women for the first time. Here’s the difference between a negative and positive mindset in these situations. Can I buy you a drink? What’s she suppose to say? “No. If you have a question or opinion you sincerely want answered. please don’t buy me a drink”.

Nowadays millions of people are trying out online dating services – . With millions of people worldwide looking for the perfect match. You look at a woman’s profile on the website. The Internet isn’t just for techno-whiz people any more. rather.FlirtingFormula. thanks you. Just don’t be surprised when she takes your drink. First decide what you’re looking for. check if she is someone you want to talk to and then click the link to get started. Sadly some men believe this is the greatest flirting technique ever invented. IM allows you to talk to women that are online now. This is different from email. • • • • Athletic women Fashionable women Outgoing women Intelligent women Go to your local gym between 4 and 6 pm Check out malls on Saturdays at 1 pm Hit popular clubs until about 2 am Go searching at colleges and universities during the hot months of the semester when everyone’s outside. what sort of woman are you looking for? Decide what sort of woman you’re looking for and start going to places where these women spend their time. Online Dating One great way to practice flirting and get a real feel for talking with women is to join some dating sites. It’s basically a simulated conversation where you type messages back and forth in the comfort of your home. You type messages and get a text reply only seconds later. even beautiful women. and disappears.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know THAT MEANS: his self-esteem is so low that believes he needs to buy me a drink to keep my attention and he only likes me for my looks because he hasn’t even spoken to me yet. Everyday Scenarios Just by picking the right time and day you’ll get a completely different group of people in the same place. © Christopher Williamson 2005 14 www. Would there be any attractive women on these sites? You’d be surprised. Where to Meet Women The question isn’t where do you meet a lot of women. why not? Many online dating sites have instant messaging (IM). Oh well I’ll take the drink and maybe even thank him but I’ll head back over to my friends straight afterwards. two or three days later. where you send a message and get a reply one.

com .” We put pressure on ourselves. The mentality is. but if you hesitate then you’ll continue to hesitate and get nowhere. A good general rule is to not even think about it. Momentum is a powerful thing. The longer you wait the harder it will be to get started. As humans we are wary of the unknown. “I’ve got to get this number/date or else I’m a loser. Just start walking towards the woman and ask her a curious. You’ll learn how to do it effectively and get dates. Approach Anxiety Action Plan “Action is the real measure of intelligence. As we all know. sincere question.” Napoleon Hill Basically your success depends on two stages: • • Meeting women Dating women. trying to always be the best. Even if you’re not dating women maybe you’re still meeting them. © Christopher Williamson 2005 15 www.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Hesitation If you hesitate to approach women your mind will come up with more and more reasons why you should stay away. Make it work for you. Momentum is a very powerful influence on the human mind. When we are uncertain what’s going to happen in situations we get scared because we don’t know the outcome. You must be 100 per cent certain you’re going to approach or else you won’t do it. But if you’re not meeting new women on a regular basis there is no chance of dating them. it can be very scary to approach women. Often the reason we feel anxious is because we want something from the situation and we’re afraid of failure.FlirtingFormula. So I want to address how to approach and meet women you’ve never talked to before. If you can speak to a woman within the first five seconds of seeing her it’ll be only natural to keep talking to more and more women throughout your day.

Step 1 If you have a . Women will be socializing in large groups. What I’m going to give you now is an exact step-by-step guide to action. As human’s we have an amazing ability to learn from experience.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know I’m about to outline a very powerful way to overcome that fear. hide it. body and words. If you follow this guide you cannot fail. which will intimidate most men. Yes. it’s about proving a point. I don’t want you to go to clubs or bars. because you never wanted anything from this man in the first place (except to know the time)! Now wouldn’t it be great to harness this energy and attitude when speaking to a woman you are actually interested in? © Christopher Williamson 2005 16 www. Make sure you don’t know the time when you ask the question or you’ll look stupid. What we are doing here is the “power approach” concept. Here’s what I want you to do: Go down to your local major mall or shopping centre. If you’re planning on going down Saturday or Sunday be there around 12 to 2 pm.FlirtingFormula. There is no fear. Simply approach a man and ask him the time. explode your confidence and successfully meet women. A sincere wish to know will come across cool and calm in your voice. anxiety or pressure on you. They’re too loud. and it’s much more effective than simply learning from reading. for a specific reason. If you can learn from an experience and feel the emotion associated with that action you’ll learn a lot more (and faster) than just reading from books. The reason we’re asking a guy first is to show you how easy this task can be when you ask someone you’re not sexually interested in. You must ask an individual something you genuinely want to know. and even if you do approach a group the women won’t be able to hear what you say because of the music. If you’re going to a shopping mall between Monday and Friday you’ll find more women there between 3 and 5 pm. then approach a male. which is asking people sincere questions. you are going to approach a man! There is nothing sexual about this. There is no fear of rejection.

com . “OK. Many people find it difficult to even do this. When you have her reply. which makes it natural and cool. stop for a minute and look at the significance they could have on the rest of your life. You’ll be confident. This is exactly how you should act around women you do like. bye!” Easy! You won’t freeze. By approaching people you aren’t interested in you learn to approach without anxiety and without the fear of loss. You won’t stutter. Women are attracted to the confidence in men. And you just want to sincerely know this. © Christopher Williamson 2005 17 www. You won’t be lost for words. so she’ll definitely have an opinion. You’ll come across normal.FlirtingFormula. It’d be nice to hear her opinion because women will always have different opinions from you on what are the best clothing shops. thanks. step 2 asks you to approach a woman you have no sexual interest in. If you find it hard to complete these steps. say “Thanks!” and walk away. just say. Think what a wonderful girlfriend or exceptional wife you could find by just taking the time to boost your confidence.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Step 2 Approach a woman you don’t find attractive and ask her. talking to people you don’t know. Aren’t these easy steps worth that happiness? Step 3 Approach a woman you do find attractive and ask her. Step 1 requires you to approach a man. By performing the first two steps you’ve already stepped outside your comfort zone. You won’t embarrass yourself. You won’t change your attitude. “Can you tell me which is the best coffee shop around here?” Yes an older woman or somebody that you wouldn’t particularly like to meet from first impressions. You’ll be calm. “Hey. what are the best clothing stores for guys around here?” Listen to her reply. You’re already in a shopping centre.

but until then you’re learning from the experience. but there’s one final step. As you approach more and more women you’ll realize it’s quite . Approach a woman you find attractive and ask her. Very few people actually follow direct instructions because they’re lazy or don’t think they’re necessary. It’s about learning from the emotions associated with the experience to build your confidence. “I know how to talk to other guys I don’t need to do that!” But they’re missing the point. And you need a kick-start. that means money! – on who will get the most numbers. Whoever wins gets the stash at the end. Thanks. If you can’t fearlessly approach women use these steps. So what are you doing here today?” You’ve started a conversation with her! Continue talking to as many women as possible and take the interaction as far as possible. “OK.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know But if you don’t want to sincerely know where the best clothes for guys are. In this case. find a similar question to discover your own way of acting natural during conversations with women. They think. then say. “Do you know what time (your shopping centre name) closes today?” Listen to her reply. Because these steps seem so simple and straightforward most men won’t do them. Continuing Steps If you do these steps you’ll have already done more than most men will ever do. The Bar Bet Verbalizing your intentions to make them a commitment It can be very difficult to motivate yourself to approach women. you’ll come across as fake and most likely get an awkward response. because your intention is to “not lose 50 bucks?” Powerful stuff. © Christopher Williamson 2005 18 www. just repeat steps 1 and 2 until your confidence is re-energized. kisses. dates or whatever. almost indifferent way.FlirtingFormula. Take a mate or a few friends to a bar or club and place bets – yes. How would you act if you knew you just needed to walk up to women to get their numbers in a casual. If you begin to struggle again. Powerfully changing the intent of the situation will give you a new approach to the whole thing.

Think about your situation this way: No matter how good you are with women. These women are testing for true masculinity by throwing them the hardest tests in the very beginning. when the average man would give up. Had he stopped he would never have found success. focus on getting experience. just around the corner. Frequently. When you realise how powerful this principle is and utilise it correctly. Ideas don’t always go according to plan.FlirtingFormula. Now this doesn’t mean you should stalk women even though they’ve made it perfectly clear they don’t want you around. Well. Women often use such behaviour as a shield or a way of weeding out the weaker men. He fights on and usually finds success. Can you see the difference there? Learn to persist and you’ll quickly push past the first signs of failure to find success. Understand things will go wrong at times. Listen very carefully. it’s part of the process. This especially happens with very attractive women. Persistence when meeting new women means not even considering rejection and working towards finding someone that is of interest to you – rather than wishing somebody will like you. Gradual Improvement Men often get upset if the first conversation they start with a woman doesn’t turn into a date. © Christopher Williamson 2005 19 www. It’s very unlikely your first meeting with a woman will turn into a date. if you get five numbers a day. Instead of focusing on getting results. Of course this is where most men give up. true masculine men. Persistence will help you progress quickly when you start putting these techniques into action. The stronger men know exactly what they want and are willing to hang in there. women act cold or laugh at men while they talk to women. By passing them. the men prove they are the real . she eventually warms to him and starts liking him. It’s the attitude of someone that doesn’t give up when things look like they’re not working out. success will come. feeling uncomfortable with the situation and assuming the women dislike them.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Persistence The quality of persistence is one of the most valuable characteristics a man can have. I can verify from many past experiences that. if a man persists and continues to interact with a woman who has shown him no signs of interest.

they’re so out of practice they freeze up and are completely lost for words. learn from that experience and grow. Build your confidence. by finding almost invisible faults in their appearance. Start Conversations with Everyone One thing you should learn to do in order to eliminate anxiety when meeting women is to approach everyone – not just beautiful women. Just make a habit of talking to everyone you cross paths with on a day-to-day basis. While trying to gain a woman’s attention indirectly or from a © Christopher Williamson 2005 20 www. Don’t make this mistake. it will only make you stronger through experience. Most men spend their lives waiting for the right woman to fall right into their lap. and success is inevitable. stop her to get her number. but they just can’t approach women. Men often wonder how to stop an attractive woman on the street. They’ll avoid talking to any woman except someone that resembles their dream girl. when they actually see someone that resembles their dream girl. When you learn to socialise naturally it only becomes easier to start conversations with people everywhere. This becomes a never-ending circle where they rarely ever meet new women.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know or no dates all year. They often become very picky and talk their way out of meeting women – for example. not just women. no woman at all. Whatever it is that you choose to develop. allowing you to date the women you always thought were reserved for the rich and famous. Unfortunately. Some men can readily strike up a conversation with another guy. Maybe you’ll go for approaches in a local bar Maybe you’ll try a new sincere question. While this idea sounds appealing. Maybe you’ll attempt a new angle. you’ll usually end up with a woman you’re not happy with or even worse.FlirtingFormula. but everybody. Tomorrow you’ll try something new. today is the worst you will ever . A simple “Hello” as you walk past is enough to build your confidence – and if you’re ready. Over time it’ll become “only natural” to talk to beautiful women everywhere. develop your masculine side. Women are looking for men who are willing to take risks and show their courage.

Everyday we are faced with hundreds of decisions to make: What jeans should I wear? What cereal should I eat? What shoes should I buy? Who’s advice should I listen to? To help us make these decisions we look to people we trust and see what they are doing and follow them.FlirtingFormula. Here are several example scenarios you could use social proof to get a woman’s attention.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know distance isn’t recommended there are certain circumstances where a few powerful techniques help to gain recognition and celebrity-like status before you even introduce yourself. The best three places for distant and indirect flirting are:     Classrooms Parties Club and Bars © Christopher Williamson 2005 21 www. Distant flirting is only useful to make women notice you in situations that aren’t favorable for direct one-on-one encounters." So if you can lead others and influence them. The reason leaders are so valued within our society is because they are rare and stand apart from the majority of . Indirect Approaches Social proof is an interesting piece of psychology that affects every human. “People are silently begging to be led. a marketing legend that understood human psychology once said. Because we have so many decisions to make. our lives become much easier if someone makes decisions for us. you can influence women you’re trying to date. It won’t always be necessary and won’t always produce the results you want but if you find yourself in a situation where there’s a lot of distractions distant flirting can work. Jay Abraham.

“Oh Sarah.FlirtingFormula.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Classrooms Scenario: You’re in a learning environment and the woman is on the other side of the room. By simply saying anything you’re standing out from the crowd and projecting confidence in front of a group. intelligent. this is John. Using your most confident and loud voice simply ask an interesting question.” © Christopher Williamson 2005 22 www. You can make eye contact if she’s looking but there’s a much more powerful way to make yourself stand out from the crowd. HE JUST: made a joke and made the entire class laugh THAT MEANS: he’s funny. Introductions build your social proof and allow you to intercept her conversations with the people you’ve spoken to previously. This way the friends you’ve spoken to happily introduce you and build social proof for you automatically. This is one of the rare opportunities where women can actually see you as a celebrity and can trust you the minute you approach them. If everyone likes him then I think I like him too. If the woman is hard to get hold of. While you can’t make jokes that everyone at the party can hear you can still use social proof to your advantage at a house party. If your contribution to the class wasn’t embarrassing or stupid you’ll have a much better response when you talk to the . People tend to stay for extended periods of time during house parties so you have more opportunities to delay speaking to your woman of interest. speak to all of her friends. If the funny comment makes 25 people laugh that’s great social proof for the woman when you introduce yourself after class. he’s really cool. Parties Scenario: The woman is at the party but is always crowded with other people. social and everyone likes him. make a funny joke or voice your opinion on something to the teacher.

© Christopher Williamson 2005 23 www. While women can easily decide to like you because their friends do it’s even easier for them to dislike you because their friends do. This way when the woman is talking to another man you tell her friend (someone she trusts) that he’s no good for her and make her friend pull the woman back to your circle. Remember.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know HE JUST: got introduced by my best friend. while ignoring the woman you want. Everyone is a stranger and there are hundreds of people in a very small venue. This flirting technique improves your chances of succeeding in very competitive situations. when her friends like and accept you so does she. Is it my hair? My clothes? My body? What doesn’t he like about me? I’ll fight for his attention and find out for myself. This technique isn’t necessary but it can give you an edge over the other guys who’re competing for the same girl. what is not earned is not valued. or at least knows someone who knows the birthday person. who I love and trust. In clubs you don’t have this rapport. You must remember social proof only works because other people like you. Clubs and bars are more dangerous that house parties. Clubs and Bars One advantage at parties that you don’t have in clubs and bars is a feeling of common interest. If the woman knows she’s the most attractive woman in the group she wonders why she’s not getting any attention. Why would you ignore the woman you want? It’s much easier to get the attention of a woman who’s not getting any. HE JUST: walked up to our group and gave everyone attention but ignored me.FlirtingFormula. At parties everyone knows the birthday girl or boy. THAT MEANS: my . If she likes him then so do I. If you can’t make anyone respond positively to you don’t try this technique until you have more social experience. So how can you impact some distant flirting in clubs and bars? Flirting with her friends. THAT MEANS: he thinks I’m not attractive. likes this guy. Again. Only use social proof in sticky situations where direct flirting isn’t possible.

© Christopher Williamson 2005 24 www. Section 4: Flirting Qualities This section focuses on important types of flirting. but it also contains dozens of step-by-step examples that you can start using right away. the complex interpretations that make women feel attracted to this behavior. Flirting Basics concentrates on what flirting really is and how it works. The four sections are: Section 1: Flirting Introduction Here you’ll learn exactly what flirting is and why it’s necessary to attract the women you’ve always wanted.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 2: How To Talk To Women Before you can really understand what works to attract women you must first understand why it works. Section 3: The “Playful Conflict” Flirting Formula This one page summary. men need to realize the importance of these tips. To get the most out of this section take notes.FlirtingFormula. You’ll learn a lot about female psychology and how they determine their . Section 2: Flirting Components Section 2 focuses on the verbal and non-verbal tools needed to begin flirting. gives you an overview of flirting and how to apply it to every single situation including the 4 formula components to make flirting work properly. While sections of this chapter may seem like common knowledge and other sections might seem off topic. It not only explains why these techniques work. You’ll retain double the information and start to get results twice as fast by writing things down.

Often date opportunities are missed because men don’t “get the message” and never realize that woman are interested. This problem starts when women expect men to understand their unconscious needs. for women flirtatious communication is the equivalent of a woman’s beautiful looks for men.” Not a very effective strategy is it? Both men and women are looking for partners that already have these .FlirtingFormula. Whether men realize it or not. wear this sexy dress from now on and put on more make up. date and keep women. men know exactly what a beautiful woman looks like because they RESPOND to her uncontrollably. isn’t it? Most men find it extremely hard to believe that flirting makes them look powerful and irresistible in the eyes of women. “Uncontrollably magnetic” is a strong phrase. “So did you get her number? She was really into you!” The man surprisingly replies. Knowledgeable friends watch these interactions and say. Men want women who look beautiful and women want masculine men who know how to flirt. Often times women initiate the act of flirting in the hope that men will notice and follow along. Interestingly all women know exactly what flirting is and know how to use it. For this reason most men don’t even see the significance of flirting. Similarly. Provided by Dictionary. you can only understand what others want in relationship to your own experiences . men must learn how to flirt. it’s like saying: “I’ll keep dating you but just loose 7 © Christopher Williamson 2005 25 www. Whether you’re a man or a woman.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Section 1: Flirting Introduction What Is Flirting? The concept of flirting is very difficult for men to understand. To effectively meet. Flirting To make playfully romantic or sexual overtures. “But she didn’t say she was!” Women know flirting is uncontrollably magnetic because they RESPOND to it. Yet when that woman realizes the man wasn’t flirting she gets disappointed and moves on. Why don’t women just tell men to flirt with them? If women are attracted to flirting the same way men are attracted to beautiful women why can’t they just give men a hint? If we swap the scenario.

a stranger. So if women are actually addicted to strong emotion doesn’t it seem logical to use this form of communication to attract women? Why Is Flirting Important? Why don’t women just tell men they like them? Women who give men a hard time. Think about how you nurtured friendships with the people in your life.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know In short. men are attracted to physical beauty. tension and emotion. Once our impressions are made and we enjoy the company of another person we begin to open up to them and nurture that relationship. I doubt you and your best friend grew an incredibly strong bond by simply sharing experiences. memories. © Christopher Williamson 2005 26 www. So how do you talk to beautiful women and make them want you more than anything in the world? What is the driving force responsible for leaving an unforgettable first impression on women and the true essence of flirting? Emotion. When we meet people for the first time our interactions should be light-hearted. Novels and soap operas wouldn’t be read or broadcasted if they didn’t contain conflict. But when trying to attract women. Flirting is important for one simple reason. that is all you’ll continue to be-. secrets and other personal information with one another. Men and women are biologically different which means they think and act differently too.FlirtingFormula. Let me ask you a question. fears. Women are attracted to an emotional connection. drama. Although personal experiences build relationships you can’t expect to build trust and togetherness on that level with someone you’ve just met. Women are unconsciously drawn to these media forms the same way men turn their heads and watch a beautiful woman enter the room. playfully hit them or poke their tongue out at them are actually communicating their interest in these men. flirting is vaguely and playfully suggesting sexual interest in somebody. Why do you think women are addicted to romantic novels and soap operas while these forms of media repel most men? They are full of emotion. It is the language of attracting . The problem is if you act like a stranger around new women. leaving a stunning first impression is the hardest part of the whole experience. fun and playful. Both men and women have been socially conditioned to act very reserved around strangers and acquaintances.

© Christopher Williamson 2005 27 www. I like this guy. Why do you think this simple act would be so powerful in attracting women? It’s not what you say or do. funny. The goal of flirting is to attract women and make them realize you have all the qualities they’re looking . “Won’t that screw up my chances of dating her?” In fact. No matter what you need to flirt. THAT MEANS: He is very confident. If you are not having success with women then obviously it’s time to try something different. In order to get women to feel sexually attracted to you. Even simple acts without words. playful and really fun! He’s not just interested only in my looks because he’s not sucking up to me like all the other guys. project many powerful characteristics about you. women are interpreting what these things mean. isn’t it? All the flirting techniques throughout this book are designed to project powerful qualities to which women are attracted. grab her hand. Does this seem like an absurd thing to do? You’re saying. secure. by doing this you’ll most likely increase your chances of dating the woman. in control. buy her gifts. smile at her or turn away. then they talk and communicate completely differently as well. In order to be phenomenal with women you need to make sure you learn to speak their language. such as stealing her hat. Interpretation Let’s say you’ve been talking to a woman for several minutes and you pinch her hat straight off her head and she tries to snatch it back from you as you constantly hide it behind your back. HE JUST: playfully took my hat off my head and made me chase him to get it back. laugh at her. hard to get. Women love confidence so act in a way that shows you’re confident.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know If they think differently. That’s a lot of great qualities for doing something as simple as harmlessly playing with her hat. compliment her. He’s actually kind of mysterious and I’m not really sure if he likes me or not. you need to speak differently-. smiling and laughing. but the meanings behind a statement or action that make women find you irresistible. whether it’s show up late.

a woman looks for a man with enough confidence to protect her. Unfortunately men often experience rejection or use flirting at inappropriate times. make jokes. When in the presence of a potential .Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Flirting Instincts To understand flirting better think of it in terms of a courting ritual. he won’t play around like he does with his friends and he takes things way too seriously. Instead of colors or tusks think of humans as using their voices as a complex courting process designed to attract the opposite sex. which results in no © Christopher Williamson 2005 28 www. Serious Man.FlirtingFormula. most colorful wings or physical strength. have fun and don’t take things too seriously. From then on they never try to play or flirt with women because they believe it ‘doesn’t work. Just like other animals look for the biggest tusks. Why? Why do men change their actions around women usually without even realizing it? Men are afraid to lose their only chance with a particular woman and that ultimately turns them into Mr. While starting conversations with women seems hard enough it appears even more daunting to keep a great fun conversation going. but strangely when a man suddenly finds himself interested in a beautiful woman he usually becomes very reserved. Fearful that they might say something rude or challenging they resort to boring “walking on egg shells” conversations. When men hang around with their friends they laugh. once they stop being flirty and fun because the pain of rejection is so strong they slowly lose those skills. He won’t make jokes or laugh with the woman. instead of keeping up the friendly vibe he has with his friends he suddenly becomes boring. which leads to associating flirting with pain and failure. Anti-Flirting The biggest mistake men make when interacting with beautiful women is speaking emotionless conversation. Men get so nervous talking to beautiful women that they lose all creativity and can’t make interesting conversation.’ Just like exercising a muscle. He stops laughing He stops making jokes He stops teasing He stops having fun He stops being flirtatious.

Although films and television strongly encourage the idea of begging women. When you’re serious you become boring. If you were older. especially one of mutual trust or emotional affinity As we can see from the dictionary definition above “rapport” is a relationship involving trust and the ability to like somebody. While men can tell you that it’s important to not be boring when interacting with women. But unfortunately as men grow into adults they forget their playful instincts and try to “make logical sense of everything. reading poetry and bringing flowers until his dream girl finally falls in love with him. we live in the real world. Flirting vs. Rapport provided by Dictionary. Remember this simple law. Women can smell manipulative men miles away and don’t respect their child-like behavior.” Before reading this book you may have heard of the term “flirting” but never really understood what it was or thought it wasn’t necessary to attract women. we don’t live in the movies. Romantic is doing the right thing by standing outside a balcony window every night singing love songs. It always seems like Mr. Remember them and bring them Rapport: Relationship. Remember always acting playful and silly around your brothers and sisters when you were growing up? Whether you were older or younger usually determined who was in control of the playing. hiding their toys and making them beg for them back. 1 2 3 4 5 When you fear loosing a woman you become cautious. While these actions may seem romantic and work in movies. As you learn the flirting techniques within this book you’ll recall other times during your life when you behaved like this. When you’re cautious you become serious. When women aren’t attracted you don’t get a date.FlirtingFormula. The fastest way to build relationships with people is to share personal information about yourself with another human . When you talk to a woman and talk © Christopher Williamson 2005 29 www. These values are used to evoke emotion for the movie experience and in some cases suggest that buying into this behavior leads to success. you’ll probably recall calling your siblings harmless names. Men have such a strong “I must have this girl” attitude that the more they desire a woman. they don’t even realize they’re doing it.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know emotion. the more serious and boring they become in their poor attempt to date them. When you’re boring women aren’t attracted. it doesn’t work.

security. It’s the information about yourself that helps build relationships – your name.your confidence. The most common mistake is starting with rapport and trying to build a sexual attraction later . Here’s the simplest way to remember how to interact in any given situation. Without showing proof that you’re desirable she has no reason to be interested in you. 1. hobbies. job.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know about things you have in common or experiences. attempting to make her sexually aroused after they have already become friends. Nothing has set off the attraction. leadership. Talking about hobbies. fun and playful. mystery and playfulness. you are building rapport. sense of humor. life ambition. you’re about to learn how to become irresistible with flirtatious communication. 2. Instead. Then maintain the flirting and begin to reveal personal information about yourself. interests and memories-. Flirt till she’s attracted to you. The longer you talk to someone and discuss a wide variety of topics the more rapport you build. This rarely works. careers and education can be fascinating conversation and can work if you’re flirtatious but most men who start on the boring demographic questions find it difficult to transition into a flirtatious mood later. dreams. Rapport is how you constantly nurture and grow your relationships with friends. family and anyone with which you come in contact.but it’s the emotions you evoke through your personality that sparks attraction-. Most men have the urge to get into these questions first and then try to be playful and flirtatious.FlirtingFormula. Never try and build rapport without first being flirtatious. © Christopher Williamson 2005 30 www.

A single word response such as “What?” can be interpreted dozens of ways depending on the characteristics of the voice. 55% of flirting is body language. Voice Tone Women often say that deep voices are extremely .Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Section 2: Flirting Components The term flirting may still seem very confusing. It could be angry. Comedians often say. Deep voices are sexy because they represent a cool. surprised. but how you say it” and they are completely right. Below are the verbal flirting characteristics that are responsible for attracting women. Say. fearless. How to deepen your voice: 1 2 3 4 5 6 Place your hand on your chest Say a few words and note the feeling on your hand Stop talking and begin to hum Lower the tone to increase the bass in your voice. Note the feeling on your hand Continue to hum and turn the sound into words © Christopher Williamson 2005 31 www.FlirtingFormula. in control personality. If you want to successfully flirt with women stop thinking about the right words and start to deliver your words in a confident and irresistible manner. “It’s not what you say. A deep masculine voice is universally more attractive to women and helps distinguish your voice from all others. Verbal Flirting     Voice Tone Voice Volume Voice Speed Voice Smoothness Spoken Words Finding the right words to say to women continues to be the hardest thing for men to overcome. 38% on is your voice characteristics and only 7% is what you actually say. This sort of voice becomes very important in isolated and private settings when you’re together with women. As we break down the different forms of flirting you’ll realize that it is much more than just the words you say. “what” in using each of these emotions and note the difference in your voice. uninterested or curious.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know 7 Admire your new. Just by listening to the pace of your voice women can determine if you’re © Christopher Williamson 2005 32 www. If you want to get the attention of women start speaking with a louder voice. Unconfident people speak at an unnaturally fast pace to “get it over and done with”. weak and muffled voices that project fear and low self-esteem. Voice Volume Sometimes for fun I ask women what they like about men. They are so uncomfortable at public speaking that they rattle off their speech so fast most people have trouble getting the main points. Unconsciously women want confident men. practice makes perfect. these women respond with things like: “I like a man who holds himself well” “I like a man who knows what he wants” “I like a man who’s sure of himself” “I like a man who’s not intimidated by me” “I like a man who’s not nervous” While from first glance these qualities may all seem different they are in fact all the same. “nice. etc”. confident. you’ll hear the fear in their voice. When we talk to our friends we speak in a cool calm voice and at a reasonably slow pace . Part of a confident voice is the volume you . chances are your voice is very soft. Because you’re not use to speaking at this volume it will seem very loud. Unconfident men speak with soft.FlirtingFormula. don’t worry. If you notice when you talk to women your voice becomes squeaky from nervousness use this technique to compose your voice. strong and clear voices. Boost your voice to a volume that “seems” too loud and you’ll speak at a comfortable volume. Confident men flirt with loud. caring. If women intimidate you. romantic. unconsciously they want men who are masculine. While consciously women want their men to be. If you hear a terrified person make a speech against their will. When I ask what they like. Voice Speed Public speaking is a great fear for most people. When somebody stands up to speak you can tell exactly how confident they are just by the speed of their voice. attractive voice You don’t need to have an extremely deep voice but it should be deep enough to communicate that you’re comfortable in the presence of women.

As mentioned before.” “hot stuff” are terrible lines for first impressions. Lines that define women as sexual objects. Having said that. Having said that there are words or lines you can say that will repel women so fast you won’t know where she’s gone. women interpret the meaning behind your words. so think about these words from a woman’s perspective. © Christopher Williamson 2005 33 www.” “babe. Some men can walk up to women and have them charmed by saying the above phrases. Just knowing something doesn’t make you an expert. In learning to flirt for the first time realize that everything can work when you understand the deeper meaning behind your actions. Voice Timing Comedians are funny because they deliver their jokes with great timing. noting the characteristics of the speakers. I know this because he’s never met me before and doesn’t know anything about me. Whenever in doubt always use the formula below designed to transform action into meaning. A lot of men say they know what makes a confident voice and how to project one but when it comes time to approach women and use this confident voice they freeze up.FlirtingFormula. there are exceptions to every rule. Learn to add emphasis. you must put what you know into practice.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know nervous. If he’s saying things like this without getting to know me then he just wants to sleep with me. HE JUST: said “Hey sexy” THAT MEANS: he’s only interested in my looks. Go to seminars and listen to confident people speak on TV. You can’t flirt with women by being too direct about your intentions. Spoken Words The words you speak have very little impact on your ability to attract women. pace changes and fluctuating vocal tone. “Hey cutie. . creatures of desire or nothing but a shell of physical beauty don’t work. For men who are terrified at meeting women here’s a great tip: Speak at half the speed you think you should be talking and you’ll most likely be talking at a natural pace. Usually these men have much more experience and know what they’re doing. If you want to know exactly how to talk to women study some of the most confident public speakers and coaches of our time.

hiding from the world. An angry person frowns. This point has been repeated. Here’s an example. These friends then go and tryout their newly found pickup lines only to get harshly rejected. it’s necessary we highlight the important non-verbal aspects all women notice even before you open your mouth. While men primarily focus on women’s physical beauty. If they realized that flirting is more about the delivery than the lines. posture and movements. and makes fast agitated movements while a sad person moves very little.’ Are they confident? Do they have self-respect? Do they have high self-esteem? Did you know that women could know how confident you are just by the way you stand? Confident men are irresistible to women the same way beautiful women are irresistible to men. yells. everything would make sense to them. Non-Verbal Flirting Throughout the next several chapters you’ll discover many examples and illustrated diagrams of verbal and non-verbal flirting you can use to attract women. Women are very good at interpreting body language for one reason: It’s the basis for determining whether a man is irresistible or not. stance. is very quiet and curls up into a ball. When a friend talks about the success he’s had he’ll tell his friends the lines he used rather than what he did and how he acted. women focus on how men ‘hold themselves. For this reason women always interpret men’s body language. Body Language Body language is how you communicate your feelings through your eyes. Body language is significant because the best body language interpreters in the world are women.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know More Than Words As we move onto non-verbal flirting remember that flirting is much more about how you use your voice rather than the words you say. But before we explain flirting during steps of the dating game. facial gestures. but with good .FlirtingFormula. They conclude the lines don’t work and give up. It’s called body language because it’s a universal language that all people can understand no matter what language they speak. © Christopher Williamson 2005 34 www.

Can you remember a time when you were really tired and felt upset but couldn’t explain it? Even though you were around people you loved. first you need the energy to prove it. Successfully meeting. emotionless and monotone in their speech. © Christopher Williamson 2005 35 www. Throughout the later chapters you’ll see illustrated diagrams that show you nonverbal flirting (body language) that all women are unconsciously drawn towards.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know HE JUST: walked past with his back hunched over and had his eyes fixed towards the ground. Do you remember a time when you had to be somewhere and interact with people but you had zero energy? People in our world don’t value their bodies anymore. We believe we have to stay up late and study for exams or go out every weekend and party till 5 am. is shy. Surprising? Did you ever think that the way you hold yourself determines how women view your personality and social status? The message here is that body language and “the way you hold yourself” is extremely important when flirting. How can you possibly impress women without energy? Here are three tips for endless amounts of energy. Lacking energy is also linked to laziness. These non-verbal techniques will accompany the verbal flirting to achieve maximum results. probably has low self-esteem. . This occurs because we over eat. People who don’t have enough energy to flirt come across as boring. No matter how energetic you are you could definitely use more energy during your day. probably doesn’t have very good social skills and would be very boring and possibly doesn’t have many friends. With this fast-paced. People who lack energy are very grumpy and have no passion for life. a lot of guys simply don’t approach because they lack the energy and are thus lazy. for some reason everyone was just making you angry? Lack of energy is the answer. Without energy people can’t do anything except sleep. THAT MEANS: he’s very unconfident. attracting and dating women takes a lot of energy. which ultimately burns us out. Energy Energy is the fuel that keeps us going throughout our day. stress ourselves out and pack too much into every day.FlirtingFormula. instant gratification society we live in today we want everything and we want it now. If you want to show women you’re an exciting and irresistible man. Surprisingly while approaching women can be scary for some men.

As you can see over time this adds up and is often responsible for sickness. Don’t stimulate the brain before bed If you watch TV. If you go to bed after these hours everyday you’ll constantly be tired and sluggish. more energy and thus greater ability to flirt and attract women. Coffee and other caffeine drinks affect everyone differently but some can find it difficult to sleep even after only one cup of coffee before dinner.FlirtingFormula. When electricity didn’t exist humans when to bed when the sun went down. nowadays we stay up way past our . No one can go to bed the same time every night but make the effort to have a sleep routine a majority of the time. People who try to accomplish too much tend to go to sleep very late and get up late. While this doesn’t seem very bad. Your body is conditioned to do most of its recharging between 11pm and 1am. Avoid caffeine When people feel tired the first thing they reach for is caffeine. lack of concentration and even depression.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Energy Tip 1: Get Proper Sleep While the average adult needs around 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep most people only sleep 7 hours. Keep a Rhythm Give your body a routine it can stick to by going to bed and waking up the same time every night. if you followed this sleeping pattern for one year you would lose 504 hours sleep! That’s 21 days of sleep. it often wakes people up after only several hours sleep and stops the body from entering the deepest stage of sleep where the body heals and recovers itself. Go to bed early and get up early The earlier you go to bed the better. This is often why people feel so sluggish after a night of hard drinking. Below are some tips for better sleep. exercise or read suspenseful books before bed you’ll find it hard to sleep. Make it a habit to unwind an hour or two before bed rather than suddenly trying to sleep after an energy-intensive activity. While most people’s lifestyle isn’t this extreme everyone has experienced sleepless nights. Falling into a © Christopher Williamson 2005 36 www. Avoid alcohol While alcohol makes you feel drowsy and helps you sleep.

it’s time to explain the types of flirting that attract women. Listen to mellow music If you find it hard to unwind before bed listen to soft. happier. After only a week you’ll see enormous changes in your day-to-day activities. Just remember that the more sleep you get the more energy you have and the more energy you have the better you flirt with women. Instead walk around. Even though the actual words you say have very little impact on your success. Energy Tip 2: Energizing Exercise Everyone knows that exercise is good for you but how many people do you know that actually jog or swim on a regular basis? If you can motivate yourself to do between 30 – 60 minutes of moderate paced exercise every morning. stronger. Stay away from heavy rock and techno if you want to sleep. between 3 – 5pm and 11pm. Make sure there are no visible clocks in your room when you sleep. skyrocketing you automatically to being successful with women.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know routine like that makes it very difficult to change your sleeping patterns to more suitable . © Christopher Williamson 2005 37 www. mellow music. listen to music. Now that you understand what is necessary to flirt with women. you’ll feel totally energized. Even though eating sugar and caffeine make you feel like you have instant energy. and socialize to reenergize yourself. learning to use the right flirting techniques will make you do the right things. these foods make you sluggish and tired only hours after ingesting them. If you haven’t exercised for several months you may get some minor muscle pain until your body adapts. healthier and more positive. You’ll be faster. Lots of exercise = lots of breathing = lots of oxygen = lots of blood circulation = lots of energy Energy Tip 3: Eat in Moderation Most people feel tired when they wake up.FlirtingFormula. It’s during these times that people have an urge for sugar to give them a kick-start. Hide your clock Staring at your ceiling for more than an hour is frustrating enough but if you turn over to your clock and see that it’s been two hours that just increases stress and makes it even harder to fall asleep.

While these ideas might seem absurd at the moment they’ll make more sense as we move on further into the book. You’ll know when you’re doing things correctly because women will start responding positively towards you. tell her she has a crush on him If she places her hand on your leg. Here are the 4 basic conflicts you should start using. If she's enjoying the movie throw popcorn at her. If she says she’s cool. If you can’t think of your own techniques start with these and observe the results. Steal her hat off her head. Always cheat to win. If she's enjoying lying down tickle her. If she says let’s go home. If she says she doesn't like something say how good it looks. © Christopher Williamson 2005 38 www. Use these factors in any order. say you’re cooler or she’s a dork. tell her you want someone bad. If she sits next to you tell her to keep her distance Playfully Accuse If she says she likes an actor. Playfully Disagree       If she says she’s a good girl. This formula is the essence of everything taught in this book and should be the fastest and easiest way to start getting success with women. understand that intense emotion is your objective when communicating with women. Playfully Provoke     If she's sitting on your bed push her off.FlirtingFormula. The simplest and fastest way to create emotion with women is to intentionally start a playful conflict. They’ll start laughing. say. Playfully walk . “I’m not going home with you! I don’t even know you!” Accuse her of being a bad girl whenever possible. If she likes something say it doesn't look good. If she thinks something is cool give her a weird look. smiling. Playfully Compete  If you're both playing a game make a confident wager that you’ll win.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Section 3: The “Playful Conflict” Flirting Formula If you really don’t know where to start. hitting you and being generally friendly. give her a weird look like she coming on to you. Poke your tongue out at her.

Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

Section 4: Flirting Qualities
The 3 Qualities
There are three specific qualities you need to portray in order to attract the women you’ve always wanted. Failing to follow these can results in rejection, awkward situations or confusion. Use this formula and relate it to your own experiences with women and pinpoint where things may be going wrong.

As you can see the above graph is a circle divided into three equal sections. They are in the form of a circle because each is equally important and all must be done. Let’s briefly define each step of this formula. Confident – To make women comfortable by being confident Playful – To make women interested by playfully with them Sexual – To make women desire you by strategically communicating your interest Let’s detail each of these qualities and provide examples to make it easier to understand.

© Christopher Williamson 2005


Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

Confident Flirting
HE JUST: said I look like a dork in this hat. THAT MEANS: he’s confident and independent. He’s not kissing up to me like all the other guys and isn’t trying to get anything from me, or is he? I like him. Can you see how telling a woman she looks like a dork works so well? While this behavior may seem mean or fake you must realize something. Look at these two examples to better understand the concept that’s about to change your perception forever. Example #1 A young man was brought up into a rich household and grew up with everything he ever wanted. He had the latest sports car, his own apartment and all the best suits. All he had to do was ask his father for his credit card. This man even got a job because of his father’s business connections. The Result: This man didn’t value his success. Example #2 A young man grew up with his single mother who earned just enough money to survive. He spent 2 hours traveling on three buses and a train to attend college for which he paid for himself by working two part time jobs. He eventually opened up a successful and profitable business from the knowledge he acquired in college. The Result: This man valued his success. As you can see both men grew up with very different lifestyles. The big difference was the second man valued everything while the first man didn’t. Which brings us to a fundamental rule about life and dating women. That which is not earned is not valued. • • • • • Don’t treat women special just because you like them. Don’t call women every day and crave their attention. Don’t jump at every opportunity to do women’s gardening, laundry and fix their electrical problems. Don’t reveal your life story and problems to women early on. Don’t bitch, snicker and base your conversations around negativity.

No matter what personality, interest or background, every single woman is

© Christopher Williamson 2005


Flirting Formula
flirting secrets every guy must know

looking for confident man that engages her mind with mystery and challenge. Without these attributes men don’t provide women with any real value for choosing a boyfriend. They aren’t looking for men to baby-sit, they’re looking for a protector, provider and lover. Men who act super-eager and horny repel women very quickly. • • • If you’re difficult to impress, women need to work to impress you. If women need to work, they need to earn you. If women need to earn you, they value you.

This is quite a shift in thinking, isn’t it? Think of it this way. A door-to-door salesmen get rejected the second you find out he is trying to “sell you something.” Similarly, very attractive women will reject you the second she finds out you like her if you’ve communicated it in some stupid obvious way. Here’s how to make women value you: • • • • Courageously approach her cool and calm to show you’re not scared or super eager. Tease her by treating her like “just a buddy” to prove you’re not just interested in her looks Act playfully unimpressed to show you have real value. Be firm if she’s late, make sure she respects your time.

People may read this and think, “This earn/value rule doesn’t apply to dating. Dating is totally different.” Unfortunately this is basic human psychology that is relevant in all situations. Why don’t women date men who desperately want them? Women don’t find these men challenging. What is not earned is not valued. Here are 8 great flirting techniques to project confidence to let women know you’re extremely valuable. These techniques attract women and position you as one of the most unique guys she’s met in a long time. Tongue Poke At some point during conversation poke your tongue out at the woman. This is extremely playful and she’ll probably start playing along with your flirtatious behavior. Use it when there’s a silence, when she’s waiting for you to respond to her question or just in the middle of the conversation.

Where’d She Go?
© Christopher Williamson 2005 41

The idea is to use something very plain so she knows you’re not being serious. “Hey check out that plane” and actually meant it. you can say. Arm’s of steel!” implying she’s a huge masculine man. Stand in Front While talking. This communicates you’re flirty and playful but not going to drop everything for her. If she says. and you walk away you’re communicating you’re easily upset and can’t keep your cool. that’s really cool”. If you’re feeling extra confident even say this to a woman who’s taller than you. You can then say. she would think you’re rude and arrogant. Walk Away As you flirt with her playfully walk away from something she says. stand in front of her and playfully point something out in the distance and saying something like. “I like pink clothes”. If she said something like.FlirtingFormula. If you said. You’re saying she’s short even though she’s clearly level with your height. I wouldn’t want to meet you in a dark alley. “Wow. “Wow. This technique works great if you do it for something meaningless and pointless. This technique also works great when she’s waiting for her question to be answered or during an uncomfortable silence in the conversation. Arms of Steel Look at her arm then just squeeze it near her shoulder with a surprised look on your face. check out that . Don’t use this technique to walk away from something offensive. You’ll usually get a playful hit for this one because it implies that she’s short. “Where did Sarah go?” Don’t stand too close just close enough to get the point across. Being the same height can actually make this technique work better because it’s sarcastic humor. “Oh I don’t think I can be seen talking to you anymore” and walk away. Touching: Only use this technique if you feel the woman is already comfortable © Christopher Williamson 2005 42 www. The idea is to be playful so the sillier the reason for walking away the funnier and more successful it’ll be. just like a teddy bear”. Women usually find it uncomfortable for men to enter their personal space when they’ve just met but what you’re doing is standing in front of her with your back facing her. Doing something playful like this can spice things up if they’ve gone dull. You can then say. You have power and no one’s going to take that away from you.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know After talking for some time you can walk up to her and look over her head as if you’re looking for something. “You’re so cute. If you’re the same height or just a little bit shorter stand on your toes to add some extra height.

If she doesn’t ask for it back you can get things going by saying something like. This flirtatious behavior is lots of fun and women love it if you’re smiling and laughing as you’re doing it. Then when she asks for it back you can make her playfully try and grab it back. Embarrassed or Weird Look Give her an embarrassed or weird look for something she says or does. Humor is based on opposites and sarcasm so don’t use this technique if she has large arms for a woman. you can pat her on the head and say. if you give her an embarrassed look it implies she has no taste. “I likes shopping at X shopping mall”. use them when things are silly and inoffensive. Again only use this technique when you’ve spoken for a few minutes and gained her . “What brand are those sunglasses?” And she says. so by implying she’s masculine when she clearly not becomes funny.FlirtingFormula. “Hmm. I think I’m going to keep this”. Of course this embarrassed look is suppose to be fun and playfully. This implies she needs better taste. Sympathetic Pat When she makes a comment about something that seems funny or strange simply look at her sympathetically and pat her on the head. Remember these techniques are supposed to be playful. Use it in response to her clothes. Of course no woman wants to feel masculine because they’re a women. For example if she said. for example you may say.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know around you or else she’ll feel endangered by physical contact. “It’s ok”. this technique can be used the moment you introduce yourself to a woman because it doesn’t involve touching. otherwise you’d be teasing her insecurities and that’s not what you want. if you look serious you’ll scare the woman off very fast. Again when she makes a comment about something. Unlike the above technique. You can use this technique when she answers your question or does something silly. “Oh these are (expensive fashionable brand)”. Catch Me If You Can Grab or take an item of hers and playfully keep it from her. Then pretend to give it back and quickly move your hand when she tries to grab it. This flirting technique is very similar to how an older child would play with his younger brother or sister. © Christopher Williamson 2005 43 www. quirky hobbies or other harmless things. If you’ve been talking for a while you can ask to look at some sort of bracelet or hat she’s wearing.

Can you see how there is some subtle tension and conflict within this example? If a man is playfully communicating he is cooler than a woman he is disagreeing. I like him. but unless you add in playful disagreement women won’t feel attracted to you.FlirtingFormula.  If you playfully build conflict you build tension. playful and knows how to have more fun than all those jocks out there. Remember women are attracted to the feelings men give them. Playful conflicts focused on women create emotionally intense conversations that attract women. Its obvious women want somebody interesting and fun to hang out with. The problem with demographic questions is.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Playful Flirting HE JUST: grabbed my hands and started playing a slapping game to decide if he’s cooler than me. it’s very difficult to transition into a more fun and interesting conversation. But often all the things men know about being fun and interesting in social situations go out the window the minute they start talking to a beautiful woman. I say. We’re talking about a playful flirtatious conflict. we’re not talking about a serious fight. once . Asking a woman “Where do you live?” and then playfully transitioning into an emotionally intense argument about why your neighborhood is cooler than hers puts you on the right track. For most men the thought of disagreeing with women sounds absurd. © Christopher Williamson 2005 44 www. THAT MEANS: he’s social. He doesn’t take things too seriously. “talking” because rather than flirting with women they think they’re being fresh and original by asking boring demographic questions like:       Where do you live? How old are you? Where do you work? What’s your family like? Do you have any pets? What’s your brother’s. best friends’ favorite color? There is nothing wrong with these questions. Of course you can use these questions if done correctly. Why would you want to get into a conflict with a woman you’re interested in? First. And the feelings of a playful battle are very emotionally intense.

Playfully settle verbal arguments in silly ways and always make sure you win. Playfully provoke her in someway. they feel attraction for men completely differently. If you’re not sure leave it. just make your own judgments. If the woman trusts you poke her around the rib cage where she’s most ticklish. If she’s not ashamed of the photo it’s hard to be playful about it. Even the second date might not be the right time for this. If you build intense emotion you attract women. While having a playful argument over something like who is the coolest. Here are 5 examples of playful flirting. just play it as it goes. Almost every single woman hates other people looking at their photo IDs. show her your photo ID first and make fun of it if it looks silly. who’s shoes are more stylish or who’s neighborhood rocks the most challenge her to a thumb war to determine who is right. Playing Poker Ask her if she’s any good at poker and then poke her ticklish area around the waist and hips. If she doesn’t want to show you. It’s childish but extremely playful and emotionally intense. What you must remember is that women are different creatures.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know   If you build tension you build intense . As you can see sometimes the strangest ideas work in ways we couldn’t imagine. It just depends on how comfortable you make her feel around you. So what ways can you build conflict? The most powerful way to evoke emotion is to focus on the woman.FlirtingFormula. Playfully insist she is wrong about something. If she genuinely gets upset from your cheating you know you’ve found a very serious uninteresting woman. people only feel comfortable with others touching if they trust them. She’ll most likely try and snatch it back from you as fast as possible because the photo was taken when she had a hairstyle she didn’t like or when she was much younger. Photo Snatch Ask to see her wallet and take out her photo ID and make fun of it. The first date might not be the best time to engage in this playful behavior. Emotion is much more powerful than a man’s looks. Playfully steal something of value to her. © Christopher Williamson 2005 45 www. so feel free to use your other hand to cheat. Realize that touching a woman is a big deal when you start dating. Always make sure you win. This shows you’re easy going and don’t take things too seriously. Thumb Wrestling Challenge her to a thumb war to settle a playful argument.

laughing and giggling put on the most serious straight face you can make and say. that’s fascinating.” Playfully contrast the current situation. Sexual Flirting While friends talk about hobbies.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Shoulder Tap Tap her on the shoulder and quickly turn around denying it was . feel and act differently. Whether you turn away in time or not doesn’t matter. Mr. ”Ok… So do you have a house? Yep me too I have a house. While men tend to think very logically and straight down the line. In that case put on your most serious face together with a really monotone voice and start saying things like. Or she may play along. When interested in men women hit and tease them . Hmmm… So do you like stuff?” Say something completely obvious and say it with the most serious face you can. Tap the woman on her shoulder when she’s not looking then turn away. While you’re having a boring conversation you’re actually communicating that you understand boring conversations and making fun of them in the process. She can be ‘interested’ in your conversations. This technique is childish but works like a charm. As long as you’re doing this after something completely fun and playful this will be hilarious. Stop it! No more fun!” If you’re in a highly energetic and playful mood. therefore they think. Flirting is more than telling jokes. “It wasn’t me! It was that guy on the other side of the room! I swear! He just ran back over there really really fast… honest. “Ok. being funny and being confident.FlirtingFormula. Intent Sexual flirting speaks right to a woman’s core and allows her to understand you in her language. Let her catch you turning away with a big smile on your face. the weekend and gossip there is one form of communication that two friends never engage in together. she’ll stop for a second and then burst into laughter. great time. Why? Women are different creatures. You can finish by saying something like.” “Wow. which can go for hours. If © Christopher Williamson 2005 46 www. ok… we’re having too much fun. Continue to look away or look around the room with a silly face to avoid eye contact. but she’ll never feel ‘attracted’ to you. women think emotionally. Serious When you’re both having a fun. while women who aren’t interest tend to stay in demographical “So where do you live?” sorts of conversations.

You never know she may start to like you after your confident statement. we would fight all the time’ you’re communicating the possibility of dating without saying stupid like. ‘you know. ‘No funny business Ok?’ with low self-esteem and no confidence or social skills? The woman would just flat out laugh at you. Understand that suggesting attraction only works if the woman finds you socially fun and interesting. (At the cinema) “Hey let’s get married right now! We’ll get the popcorn guy to be the priest” Suggesting marriage sounds absurd to most men but if you do this playfully © Christopher Williamson 2005 47 www. Be brave and say this with confidence. Role Play Coupling “We would fight all the time. it is also the most difficult to understand. If you said. Will you go out with me?’ If you add sexual innuendos and suggestive comments to your emotionally intense playful arguments or conflicts you’ll create magic. “Sarah! Stop liking me so much!” “No funny business Ok? I don’t even know you yet” If she wasn’t thinking about sex before she will be after this statement. She doesn’t have to like you but the idea of sexual flirting is getting women to think about the statements you say.” Subtly implying how much you guys wouldn’t work out.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know you want women to realize you’re the man she’s been searching for you need to speak suggestively. Suggest Attraction “It’s because you want me” Be bold.FlirtingFormula. You don’t do this by saying how beautiful she looks but rather by saying she’s a bad girl. if you’re boring and have nothing to talk about then you’ll just come across totally weird. While sexual flirting is probably the most powerful type of flirting that exists. It works like magic. You can recycle this joke over and over during your interaction by . Could you imagine saying. ‘I think you’re very beautiful and I’ve liked you for a long time now. This comment is great when you’re having an emotionally intense playful conflict. Instead of just talking about each other you’re playfully suggesting that you should ‘be together’ without actually saying it. What makes this form of flirting so powerful is the intent.

Words and phrases such as “innocent” “naughty” “bad girl” “good girl” “trouble maker” “mischief maker” are great examples.FlirtingFormula. “Hey. You could say it:      When you’re playing with each other’s feet under the table When you’re looking at her photo. Imply She’s Sexually Aggressive “You’re such a bad girl. tell her you’re not interested in a sexually aggressive woman. Obviously statements like these can’t be used without a context. building conflict. Imply She’s Naughty “What sort of mischief are you getting into lately?” “What sort of trouble are you getting into lately?” These statements work best to restart conversations. regardless of their context. Use them when text © Christopher Williamson 2005 48 www.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know she’ll realize you’re independent. confidence and don’t take dating seriously. which builds intense emotion required for playful flirting. Always flirt by offering the opposite opinion to the woman. When she rests her hand on your leg. There are certain words.” You can bring sexual ideas into the conversation without being shallow. Never memorized an entire script of dialogue to say around women because you’ll come off totally weird and say things out of context in a strange rehearsed tone. When she’s trying to take back something you . Of course when she says. Can you see what we’re doing here? Instead of always agreeing with women you’re making them fight for your approval and showing them you’re not so easily earned. Some women actually play into the “Yes. I’m a bad girl” idea while others laugh and try and convince you they’re not. that are always interpreted with a sexual connotation. When she touches you unexpectedly.” Again this statement could be made at many appropriate moments to imply her aggressive nature. “Somebody’s feisty. On the other hand if she says she is innocent you can say you’re looking for someone wild. I’m not innocent!” implying she’s feisty and aggressive like a man.

Can you see how what you say is nowhere near as important as how you say it? © Christopher Williamson 2005 49 www. No really I think I’m going to stalk you everyday. I like him. “No! What do you think I am you’re slave?” Don’t ever let her think you’re being serious. “You’ll really do my laundry?” act disgusted and say. Use these behaviors to show you understand her. Great situations to use this type of flirting are when she:    Meets you for her date (whether she’s on time or late) Picks some food off your plate Drops something or makes a clumsy mistake Imply You’re A Man HE JUST: jokingly said. No seriously I will. Most men buy women expensive gifts. “Come on I’ll buy you a diamond ring.” “Come on I’ll do your laundry. He understands exactly how most losers’ act around me and is making fun of them.FlirtingFormula. Of course this evokes lots of curiosity as she wonders why she’s in trouble? You don’t actually need a reason if she asks about why she’s in trouble but you can always make up a playful one. Once you’ve said it you can crack the littlest smile to show her you’re joking. do helpful things they would never normally do and even say they love them.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know messaging women or meeting up with them for a date. “You’re in so much trouble. No really I will!” THAT MEANS: he isn’t easy to win over and has power when choosing who he dates.” If the woman says. call them every day. “I think I secretly love you. While it’s important to deliver this line smiling and playfully you can actually say it with a completely straight . Other variations are: “Come on I’ll only call you every-single day!” “Come on I’ll buy you the biggest diamond ring money can buy. This statement is great for re-starting up the flirtatious atmosphere between the two of you. I really need to find a way to impress you. The general rule: Say things that dorks would seriously say or do and make them sarcastic and playful. If you said this in a really plain tone of voice she would think you’ve being 100 per cent serious.” This statement can only be said if you understand how to joke.” While this works great after a comment she makes it can also work really well straight out of the blue.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Playfulness has been emphasized in nearly every example during this chapter so you can really understand the language of flirting. Men who ask women to make the decisions get vague responses like the examples above because women want men to lead. They don’t politely ask – they just do it. Establish intimacy. You might think this attitude seems rude or careless. Women often say. 8. they don’t mean physically strong. It may seem daunting to maintain this sort of control. 9. When women say they are attracted to strong men. But unless men start these interactions they won’t ever get a chance to control them. it’s because you’re saying it at the wrong time or in the wrong way. They mean men who can control situations. “I like a man who knows what he wants. Sexual Actions A significant part of being what women call “a real man” is taking charge in all situations. taking them by the hand and guiding them through the club to another location. Call her.FlirtingFormula. 7. “Real men” make decisions. but as the behaviors are broken down into actions it will become clearer. Make all decisions. If you’re ever in clubs or bars watch as the dominant men control the situation by approaching women. A masculine male begins by starting the conversation and continues to initiate and advance to each logical step of the dating process. Plan the . A man who knows what he wants doesn’t ask for permission. These men expect women to follow their lead. Why do you think men who ask. If you use any of these techniques and you claim they don’t work. talking to them.” “You decide.” “I don’t really care. He takes the leadership role in every situation and expects others to comply. The woman is offering the man a chance to affirm his manliness. Set further encounters.” Unfortunately this statement baffles most men. Get her number.” Women want men to be the leaders. Here’s the basic list of initiatives men take during their encounters with women: | 1 2 3 4 5 Meet the woman. 10. but what you must understand is that women want men to do this. Set the date. End the date. 6. © Christopher Williamson 2005 50 www. “What movie do you want see?” get responses such as: “I don’t know. Lead the conversation.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Men lack the courage to take control of situations for one reason: insecurity and fear. You continue to talk to her (interest) and get her number (desire). Here are examples with undesirable results. Example #2 – Playful & Sexual You rudely walk up to a woman while she’s talking with other people and don’t properly address the group. Instead of talking to everyone and making them feel welcome you narrow in on a woman and make her feel uncomfortable. Because her friends didn’t approve of you she rejected you. Because you didn’t show confidence or your fun personality the woman has no reason to see you again. Unfortunately. Without The 3 Qualities If you miss even one step of the formula-. So as you can see from these 3 examples. Example #1 – Confident & Playful If you confidently walked up to a woman (confidence) and had a’ll get unwanted results. Example #4 – Confidence & Sexual You approach a woman and speak very directly and briefly (with confidence) and suddenly ask for her number (desire). When you ask for the number she will give a fake number or she’ll never answer.FlirtingFormula.” No! If you lead and control all situations you’ll attract the women you’ve always wanted with incredible . she’ll leave me. energetic fun conversation (playful) but then walked away without asking for her number it’s very unlikely that you would succeed. you may get her number but most likely nothing else will happen.confidence. While this “swept off her feet” approach can work the woman may be hesitant to see you again. “You look beautiful” and then ask for her number. While she was definitely attracted to you she may not have had enough time to build any rapport with you and is scared you two might not have anything to talk about when you meet up. © Christopher Williamson 2005 51 www. playful and sexual-. because you never addressed the first step (comfort) she mentally blocked you out and even though she might have “seemed” involved in the conversation all she wanted was for you to go away. “If I do that she won’t like me. to be successful you must utilize all three elements of flirting. She knows you only wanted her for her physical looks and doesn’t even know if she can trust you because she doesn’t know anything about you. In this situation she will either walk away or continue the conversation without interest. Example #3 – Sexual If you walk up to a woman and say.

com . we want to be thinner and we want a great partner. © Christopher Williamson 2005 52 www. Wealthy people constantly explain to others that being rich is “not what it’s all cracked up to be" and they want more from their lives too. They’re usually unhappy because they crave a long lasting relationship. I'll say it again because it’s a core concept you need to understand and is heavily linked to flirting. So it only becomes natural that once you have what you want you don't obsess about it the same way. we want more money. Well everyone except. rich people. Even in our example. Very feminine beautiful women are shown interest from eager and horny men everyday. People want what they can’t have. wealthy or at least to have more money. Everyone has the desire to be rich. We want a better job. which is healthy and natural for a human being. the desire to want the car disappears because now you have it. rich people want more out of life. If you were dreaming about an amazing sports car and finally bought it after 10 years. Now think carefully how this scenario could be relevant in the dating world.FlirtingFormula.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 3: First Conversations With Women People Want What They Can't Have In our world it is human nature to want things. we want to be more attractive to the opposite sex. which they can’t achieve due to their heavy involvement in building wealth for themselves. By the time young women reach adulthood their experience with men. People constantly want more and more out of life. dating and relationships is considerably higher than the men who don’t date often.

But for this to happen people need to be presented with the . If you can keep her guessing. hard to get. © Christopher Williamson 2005 53 www. wild and unpredictable lives. I don’t like him. exciting and challenging and intensify every woman’s emotions. in control. Uncertainty/variety is a core need of every human being and men who present challenges fulfill this deep need within women. secure. fun and mysterious you engage her very quickly. making an effort talk to him or begging him to catch up? She wouldn’t chase him because she knows he's there for her whenever she wants and that's something she can take for granted. how much effort is she going to put into calling him.” so let’s learn how to be unpredictable. RESULT: she’s repelled.FlirtingFormula. As Albert Einstein once said. Her mind is always analyzing your moves to understand your intentions. This may be flattering for sometime but after a while it gets "boring". the challenging and the mysterious. mysterious. HE JUST: poked his tongue out at me! THAT MEANS: he’s very confident. you’re really beautiful” THAT MEANS: He’s only interested in me physically because he doesn’t even know anything about me. “The most beautiful thing we can experience is the mysterious. So how do we flirt in a way that portrays us as possessing these attractive qualities? Sucking Up vs. Playing Hard-To-Get Remember women are always interpreting the actions and lines you say. funny. If she could have any man within 5 seconds of meeting him what fun and excitement would be left? People want to lead spontaneous. Observe how these two situations compare and contrast. Remember we said that women are attracted to emotions and the feelings men give them.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know These women are approached hundreds of times a week by men communicating their interest for them. challenging. HE JUST: said “Wow. by being playful. So if a woman is 100% sure she can have a man because he communicated this in some really obvious way.

fun and playful way. In fact I’m not even sure if he is interested in me.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know playful and really fun! He’s not just interested in my looks because he’s not sucking up to me like all the other guys. RESULT: she’s attracted. Women know you are putting them down in a nice. YOU: Who would you do? HER: (she picks a guy) YOU: Are you sure? (Dissatisfied) © Christopher Williamson 2005 54 www. who would you do?” A common response is “Can I say none?” Of course you reinforce what would be her choice if she had to choose.) Then ask her. It’s just the rules of the game. “Who Would You Do?” Game A great game you can play is “Who would you do?” You basically tell a woman you’re playing a game and point out two men. teasing and childish behavior to attract women. “If you had to choose. Games and Pickup Lines A lot of humor is based on sarcasm. Usually women are the one’s men can’t figure out. I’m going to keep flirting with him and get to the bottom of this. Try and pick two guys that she would never date (based on only physical appearance. other aspects of your personality will develop automatically transforming you into the irresistible man women want. Section 1: Phrases. Instead turn the tables in your favor. These verbal techniques use sarcasm. which guy would she sleep with. Do you see how playful flirting challenges and attracts women? Now that you understand why this type of flirting is necessary let’s look at more examples that attract the sort of woman for whom you’re looking. By learning verbal techniques that work.” Flirting with a woman by saying she’s cute can be said at almost anytime and really gets emotions running.FlirtingFormula. Cute Line “Awe… You’re so .

because even if you’re joking you can still offend women. From here you can ask the woman the worst pickup lines that have been used on her or her friends. 1. Tease. you’re a masculine man remember? Pickup Lines Game While you’re confidently talking to a woman stop what you’re saying and pause for a second. HER: No way! YOU: Come on.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know HER: Yeah… YOU: Really? (Pointing to the other guy) Aww… that’s awesome I think you two would make a cute couple! HER: Yuk! YOU: I can see a potential future for the two of you. projecting independence as a masculine man and second. giggling) Most men don’t understand why you would try and playfully match make a woman you’re interested in with another man because they don’t realize two very important things. Women always agree with this statement and you quickly build . you’re having fun.FlirtingFormula. Tell her how pathetic they are. First. put on your best overly exaggerated shy face and say the corniest pickup line you can think of. HER: No!! (laughing. I’ll introduce you to him. Start an exciting conversation about lame guys that have approached her. After saying the pick up line quickly tell her how pathetic these pickup lines are. © Christopher Williamson 2005 55 www. You do what you want. 3. HE JUST: said a pickup line about how beautiful I am and then said it’s stupid. The pickup lines above are all soft pick-up lines. because you seem to be on fire! Don’t use overly sexual pickup lines. you are proving you really don’t need her. All people want to have fun so make sure the woman associates fun with you. Do you want my library card because I can’t help but check you out! Do you want me to call 911. flirty and emotional conversations. flirt and accuse all you want. 2. This will transition into many funny. Here are some examples. After building the anticipation. Say a corny pickup line:    Heaven must be missing an angel because you are right here.

You’ve got enough material to last for hours. This technique is quite advanced and should be exercised with caution. These stories can sometimes go on for a long time. Ask her what she’d like to see in the fantasy and come up with your own suggestions. They take a basic idea and discuss it in as many crazy scenarios as possible.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know THAT MEANS: he’s very experienced at dating because he knows that I don’t want to hear that I’m beautiful from somebody I don’t know very well and he’s so confident he can make fun of it. see that guy over there? He’ll become our university money slave. “We Should Start Our Own…!” Role Play Game One of the best ways to communicate playfulness and fun is to position the woman and yourself in a role-playing . I reckon we could start our own school and it’d be way better than this one. Not like all these boring schools you see everywhere. YOU: Yeah. Our school would be the best school in the world! From here on the idea is to imagine the two of you working together in this situation. Use it when you believe your flirting experience has improved. You: We’ll make millions! We’ll double the fees to help fund our secret scam to live like filthy rich kings. do you know when the semester finishes? Her: (her answer). Try and think like a comedian. You: Hey. Don’t worry you’ll get some too. you look pretty intelligent. Make sure you understand how to deliver the pick up line. Just take the scenario you’ve put yourself in and relate it to everything and everyone around you. © Christopher Williamson 2005 56 www. won’t ya? And after the school we’ll take over the world! The more your stories don’t make sense the more emotionally intense they’ll become. he can walk up to all the students and demand their cash for me. You: Hey. Find absurd situations both of you can playfully experience. Yeah. And if anyone disobeys us you’ll take care of ‘em.

If you’re completely terrified talking to women memorize some easy techniques like poking your tongue out at women and see what happens. who’ll do the dirty work for you and what you’ll do once you’re both wealthy and/or famous. If you really find it hard to start conversations with women spontaneously with these techniques. Always base the stories on power. wealth and fame. Starting a nightclub and she’s your bouncer. © Christopher Williamson 2005 57 www. Starting your own country and she can make the flag. Conclusion It doesn’t matter what you say or do with women as long as it evokes emotion. but make sure you can make the idea fun and exciting. Making your own feature film movie and she can be your actress. Be creative and find a scenario you know a lot about or feel comfortable with. writing them down and memorizing the basic idea but not the exact lines. Rehearsed scripts make you sound fake and unnatural no matter how much work you put into it. you’ll be instantly motivated to learn more flirtatious techniques. Learn the general flow of your material until you build the confidence to do this effortlessly. Starting a coffee shop and she can grind the beans. Once you see women responding positively towards you.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Depending on where you meet the woman the playfully absurd role-playing story could be:      Starting a rock band and she’s your manager. try coming up with ideas before . You can mention how rich you’ll become. There’s no use getting excited about starting your own flea market or retirement village. All of these flirting techniques are simply training wheels until you feel comfortable talking about anything with women.

com .Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Section 2: Body Language The body language you present around women during your first encounter is just as important as connecting on an emotional level. All of the diagrams ahead illustrate both good and bad examples of body language. But the following body language is universal and all women know exactly how confident you are from observing the following behaviors.FlirtingFormula. Good body language is interpreted as:          Strength Confidence Independence Dominance Control Security Socially Intelligent Self-Respect Passion For Life While poor body language is interpreted as:           Weakness Shyness Nervousness Neediness Submission Lack of Direction Insecurity Socially Awkward Low Self-Esteem Depression Not all body language conveys all of these aspects and some women interpret the language deeper than others. Women interpret almost everything from your body language. The areas are:     Posture Eye contact Head positioning Stance © Christopher Williamson 2005 58 www.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Posture Bad Posture Good Posture Posture is extremely important when you flirt with women. his shoulders roll forward and give him a weak submissive appearance. the man with good posture has a straight neck. eyes come in number 1 for successful body language and flirting. Standing like this. which puffs out his chest and makes him appear bigger and stronger. To continue looking forward with this posture the man bends his neck back. Other the other hand. Although posture is important. © Christopher Williamson 2005 59 www. Women can tell whether you’ll be interesting or not just by observing your posture as you approach . head facing forwards and shoulders right back.FlirtingFormula. Notice the man with the bad posture is leaning forward and carrying his weight on his back rather than positioning the centre of gravity in his hips? This unacceptable posture forces your head to look at the ground.

THAT MEANS: he’s very shy. The man with bad eye contact also has his head tilted down submissively. When your head faces downwards your shoulders tend to roll forward creating terrible . Notice how the first man is looking away as he’s talking to the woman. can’t flirt and is boring. If you look at the ground because you’re shy your head will naturally point towards the ground too. has low self-esteem. interested and most importantly. while the second man is looking right into her eyes. © Christopher Williamson 2005 60 www. Eyes direct how the rest of your body positions itself. that you’re listening to her.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Eye Contact Bad Eye Contact Good Eye Contact Eyes tell a tremendous amount of information about a person. Engaging eyes show women you’re confidant. If you can’t project confidence when you flirt with a woman you’re not what she’s looking for. That’s why simply looking at the ground can repel women instantly. These interpretations can seem very harsh but its just reality.FlirtingFormula. HE JUST: looked at the ground instead of focusing on me. I know this because his posture says he doesn’t love or value his own life very much and I don’t want to be with a man like that who’s going to bring me down.

com . Use this universal body language to subconsciously communicate success and selfrespect. A subtle improvement would be to keep the neck straight and position the chin slightly up but still make eye contact with the woman while flirting. While this technique may project arrogance it doesn’t come across that way. © Christopher Williamson 2005 61 www. Women love it when you’re very sure of yourself.FlirtingFormula. Soon others will believe you are. the positioning of your head can add the finishing touches to a man’s confidence. Women enjoy men who are arrogant but not offensive. Thus to meet her eyes he needs look down. Can you see the subtle difference between these two men? Even though the first man does have straight posture his head is falling forwards because the woman he’s talking to is shorter than the man. Ultimately you are what you believe. Notice how popular and rich people tend to project an aura of arrogance? People respect these people because they respect themselves.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Head Positioning Less Confident More Confident While eye contact and posture are the two most important factors necessary to effectively flirt with women.

So instead of flirting with women to attract them. maintain good posture. © Christopher Williamson 2005 62 www. Outwardly expressing too much nervous body language makes women realize you’re not a mentally . suitable partner. Men often seem to get rejected by women before they’ve even opened their mouths. If you stutter.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Nervous Body Language To effectively flirt with women during first encounters relaxed body language is necessary. smile and hold eye contact without fidgeting you’ll do very well as long as she’s single.FlirtingFormula. Can you see how these men show fear by using their hands too much? Sometimes less is more. If you can keep conversations going. all human emotions are contagious. The less you move your body the more attractive and confident you appear. men focus too much on what to say which inflames this nervousness. By communicating fear you not only make these women uncomfortable but also repel them. Interestingly. fiddle with their hands or constantly look around project nervousness. confident. Men who approach women and shuffle their feet.

watches. Consciously putting this information into practice and believing you are successful with women before you actually flirt and date any women is important. flirtatious body language even more than working out what to say. Obviously if you’re telling a story or doing playful gestures then hand movements become acceptable.” You will need to project that you don’t need her and take things more casually in the presence of women even if you aren’t dating any women yet. Some examples are:        Scratching their back. It’s only when hands movements don’t accompany the verbal communication that they’re interpreted as nervousness. Unfortunately if you want to effectively flirt with women you’re going to have to work on your confident. Until you’re attracting the sorts of women you want you’ll have to “fake it till you make . After some time men unconsciously develop habits they always communicate every time they’re nervous. phones. especially for very shy men.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know submissively break eye contact. neck. sway or shuffle your feet you communicate an unattractive image. Flirtatious Body Language Relaxed body language may seem hard to pull off. hands or face. Shuffling their feet Swaying left to right Talking in an unnatural or rehearsed tone of voice Speaking monotone Fidgeting with accessories such as.FlirtingFormula. A successful man who remains unnamed once put it this way: © Christopher Williamson 2005 63 www. bracelets or necklaces Looking around A lot of nervous communication comes from using your hands at unnecessary moments.

So many men try for month’s. First Impressions Last There has been a lot of information focused on how to flirt with women during first encounters for a good reason. lovers.FlirtingFormula. Do things like: • • • • Stand tall with great posture Keep your feet firmly in one place Talk slowly in a deep resonating voice Always look at her to show you’re listening. Notice how these two men sit and stand while they talk to women and adopt their communication. If the woman doesn’t need to earn the man she won’t value the man. Some are friends. If women categorize you as only being their friend. family. These women are well aware of what these men are doing yet they never change their minds about these men. For this reason men need to make contact with new women. even years. Men who don’t flirt and never show their attractive qualities early on during the “getting to know you” stage become nothing more than male friends. to date their girl “friends”. You didn’t present enough confidence. challenge and masculinity. 20 beautiful women chasing you all day long and an amazing body that people would kill for? Walk through the world with this attitude and see how you come across. If you talk with a woman for a few minutes she’ll make a decision about you. The common advice preached in sales situations is that a man must always project a sense of successfulness even if he’s not. In life we have different relationships with different people. There is no point in starting to flirt with women you’ve tried to date for months or even years. it’s because you didn’t flirt correctly. co-workers and acquaintances. Women’s first impressions determine the type of relationship she’ll have with you. You’re either one of two things: Someone she has the potential to date or someone she’ll never date. © Christopher Williamson 2005 64 www.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know How would you act if you had 200 million dollars in your bank account. Follow this principle and make it work for your dating . If women aren’t attracted to you when you first meet them it’s almost impossible to change their impression when you call to set up a date or run into them again.

Instead. right? No? Well. As you may remember. After conversing for five minutes you could pull out your phone and say. you can be prepared with your own responses and possibly save hundreds of hours. Initial Resistance When you start putting your new knowledge into practice you’ll make mistakes – everyone does. It’s part of the “the test”. then can I maybe please have your number?” You may be thinking. women are always checking to make sure you’re the masculine man you project yourself to be. The simple mistake of asking humbly for her number gives her hundreds of opportunities to avoid your request and conclude you’re not the man she thought you were. no. “If she really likes me she’ll give me her number. when you expect her number. They command respect and everyone complies with their power. There are only two reasons why a woman would avoid giving out her number: © Christopher Williamson 2005 65 www. Resistance during the initial meeting is normal.FlirtingFormula. Masculine men know what they want and know how to get it Because of this rule masculine men don’t beg or plead for what they want. by understanding the excuses women might give. When you start to use this information. “What’s your number?” Don’t say submissive things like: “You’ve probably got a boyfriend.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 4: Phone Dynamics How To Get Phone Numbers There is a misconception that you must talk to a woman for a long period of time before you’re allowed to get her number. won’t she?” Well. There is nothing wrong with asking women for their phone numbers after only a very short . you communicate that you’re a man who knows what he wants and knows how to get it.

Understanding the reasons. Excuse #4 – “Why don’t we swap numbers?” Why would a woman want your number in return? Most likely so she can see who’s calling and avoid answering the phone if she doesn’t find the caller interesting.” Excuse #2 – “I’m really busy with work/school/commitments at the moment. haven’t they?” Excuse #3 – “I have a boyfriend. or she doesn’t have a boyfriend but wants you to leave her alone. If she asks for it. She actually has a boyfriend and is happy with her relationship. “She’s interested and will call me” But it actually means. as discussed before. 2. “Why don’t you give me your number?” To the misguided man this means. Let’s say you successfully get the woman’s number. This is usually a lose–lose situation.” This can be her mind really trying to stay away from men she doesn’t know well. men are supposed to be the leaders. just © Christopher Williamson 2005 66 www. “I don’t feel a connection to you and want to get out of this situation as quickly and easily as possible. Instead it makes you seem clingy and desperate. have a laugh and move on. The best way to deal with this is setting up a date on the spot. the fact is a woman doesn’t need your . If you call her three times while she was working she’ll see: “three missed calls from John”. right? No! You don’t want a woman identifying your number. now it’s OK to give her your number in return.” This excuse can mean two things. A woman says. Although this may seem strange. If she doesn’t want to give it to you. but everyone’s got 20 minutes for coffee no matter how busy they are. “Na. because if you persist she reinforces her choice by telling herself you have no respect for a woman already in a relationship. Women would rather wait for you to call again. Take the excuse “I have a boyfriend” as a sign to thank her. She’s in a relationship. So remember not to offer her your number at all. no hard feelings. Doesn’t look too good if you want to appear as an independent. Say something along the lines of: “That’s OK – I understand. They should control every step of the dating process. She isn’t attracted to you.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know 1. I’m really busy myself. or say. let’s look at the four major excuses women use. don’t give her your number.FlirtingFormula. Excuse #1 – “Why don’t you give me your number?” Don’t buy into this common trap. strong and masculine male. just say she doesn’t need it. because you’ll just be wasting your time. Women almost never call men first because. Continue to ask for her number.

Talk too long and she may lose interest. they’ve engineered an under-the-radar method to avoid socially awkward situations they’d rather not face. You don’t want to talk longer than 10 minutes because it’ll increase your chances of saying something stupid or make the interaction go dull. How To Call Women The phone can be a very dangerous place to flirt.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know give me yours. While some of these dating tactics seem tricky and complicated. Why? People determine if they like others based on hundreds of criteria but only 7% of this criterion is based on the words we say. just understand that what women say isn’t always what they mean. Speak for no more than 5 to 10 minutes. When we flirt with women their impression are based:    55% on your body language Unavailable during phone calls. But after years of experience with boys they weren’t attracted to.” It’s that simple. Women don’t really want to lie. yourself or the surrounding area. Grab a piece of paper and write down this question: “Am I prepared with something to say to her in this situation?” The initial meeting is . 38% on your style of speaking 7% on what you actually say © Christopher Williamson 2005 67 www. regarding her. If you don’t want to give her your number – and I recommend you don’t – just let her know. Approach the woman with your question and continue to have a flirtatious conversation. But for some reason this task seems to be the biggest barrier for most men to start making progress.FlirtingFormula. Pick a question or opinion you sincerely want to find out the answer to. Identifying the common responses and resistances lets you know whether you should invest your time further or whether she isn’t interested at all but is just being nice and avoiding awkward confrontation Power Question: “Am I prepared with something to say?” All you need to do is start conversations with women. Talking to women on the phone for extended periods of time does not help build attraction unless you’re very experienced at flirting.

that means calling and setting up dates with women. Phone. If a woman can track your number on her home phone or cell and she sees “6 missed calls” on the display screen you can be sure you look like you’re trying way too hard or even worse look like a stalker. text messaging and emails only use 7% of your potential flirting abilities. using it to call everyone including women. SMS. For this reason phones should only be used for setting dates with women. But won’t she call me back? Don’t count on it. If you talk on the phone with a woman too long you increase her chances of losing interest. e-mail and snail mail all have their advantages and disadvantages. Men are expected to take complete charge in dating situations. Talking on the phone doesn’t allow the intimate connection we get with people face-to-face. Even in countries where e-mail is popular most people set up e-mail accounts and forget about them. Women only call back on very rare occasions. But there is another system for communicating with women that’s very effective. e-mail varies in popularity.FlirtingFormula. In this circumstance you need to be very advanced in your flirting abilities to make email and text messages work for you.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Flirting with women on the phone only allows 45% of the flirting power necessary to attract women effectively. While calling women is a great way to quickly get in touch with them very often women don’t answer. E-mail is also a possible alternative. Text Messaging Women There are many ways to communicate with people these days email. After all no form of communication is perfect. Why cell phones? You probably already use your cell phone . This solution has the ease of e-mail but guarantees a much higher response rate. Depending on which country you live in. I’m talking about cell phones or mobile phones. In addition. Yes. phone and postal mail. call it whatever you want. ask a woman to” catch up” then wait and wait and wait and wait some more. With a cell phone you can now send text messages between phones instantly. Although e-mail is less intrusive and requires fewer guts. texting or text messaging. many people just never check their emails. You can send an e-mail. Being able to send text messages between a woman and yourself allows for the innocence of an e-mail © Christopher Williamson 2005 68 www.

Step 2 – Sending The Message Instead of calling. the result being she’ll answer her phone almost 100% of the time. a woman will check her e-mail. There are four parts to writing the simple message.FlirtingFormula. after getting her cell number simply send her a simple text. Instead. It simply says. This text doesn’t need to say anything about “catching up” or even hint at any obvious intention you have to “see her again”. these are decisions you need to make before the text message. So here’s the 4 steps you can take to always make her call back. You never know when.” This is exactly why you’re not sending text messages back and forth. Women love a man that makes decisions and has a plan. • • • Who you are How you met Casually asking how things are going. Step 1 – Have A Plan Before you do anything you must already have a plan for your evening. which she won’t reply . It doesn’t have to be long and it doesn’t need to be deep. Now you may be thinking: “But text messaging is crap because it takes forever to set up a date. © Christopher Williamson 2005 69 www. But you can guarantee a text message reaches its destination almost instantly and will be read very soon.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know but the personal contact and efficiency of a call. The problem with calling is getting messages like “this phone is currently switched off” or “leave a message and I’ll get back to you”. this simple strategy allows you to incorporate text messaging with calling. if ever. sending messages back and forth. You need to know: • • • When you’re available Where you’ll be going on the date What time you’re willing to meet up/pick her up You don’t want to sit there thinking of a place to spend time together while she’s waiting to do other things. It could be 1 day or it could be 10 days after you send the message.

it’s likely the woman won’t remember you very well at all. Things like fatty or tubby won’t get you a positive response so stick to something harmless and fun like the example illustrated above. If she does reply it will be a confused “who is this?” message. In any case. It happens. Of course make sure you’ve exchanged names when you talked to her in person. For example saying “in the shopping mall” is too vague.FlirtingFormula. So be specific. not the best way to start out. Because the last sentence of a text is the most © Christopher Williamson 2005 70 www. So follow the guidelines above to make sure she knows who you are after just one message. she may have given her number out to 2 or even more guys in that one place. It’s Tim. Also include the exact place you met her. unless you left a stunning impression on her. from the bookstore in Greentown yesterday. Failure to be specific means sending more text messages until she finally understands you’re not a stalker. from the bookstore in Greentown yesterday. “Hey shorty” shows a high level of confidence. What sort of trouble are you getting into lately? This flirting technique vaguely implies she is a naughty girl. It’s Tim. How’s things? General comments usually exchanged by friends. It’s important to define who you are in the first message. It implies sexual activity in a fun and harmless way. If she doesn’t recognize you then she probably won’t reply. How’s things? What sort of trouble are you getting into lately? Hey shorty. Also include what day you met her.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Hey . communicating that you’re so comfortable around a woman you just met that you can even call her names to communicate a sign of disinterest and proving your masculine independence. It’s Tim from the bookstore in Greentown yesterday. implying you two already have a connection.

Don’t get upset or negatively emotional and never try to make women feel guilty. 1. They may start to make judgments on what she thinks. understanding and not annoyed that she didn’t text you back from the first message and just wait for a reply patiently. you’ll just come across weak and insecure.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know remembered part of a message. If she still doesn’t reply you have two choices. “Why hasn’t she replied yet?” They’ll start to pollute their minds with all sorts of ideas like: • She doesn’t like me • She probably deleted my text • She thought I was boring So how do you know what she thinks before she’s messaged you back? The answer is to not care. Sending a text message a week later is too late because by then she’s probably long forgotten you. Not hearing from a woman for several hours would be hard for some men. Hey (name). Move On © Christopher Williamson 2005 71 www. Call Her There still could be legitimate reasons why she didn’t respond. Doing so reinforces her need to reply to your message. It combines the advantages of both calling and sending e-mails to increase your chances of success. Everything included in the text message above is a device to increase the response of her sending a message back. I’m going down to (date idea) soon u should come along. This system will get a response 99% of the time. “If you get a reply great! If not. it becomes crucial to end the text message with a question. no big deal. If you send a message the same day you may freak her out by your eagerness. 2. If you don’t get a reply you can send another message 2 days later with the following text. assuming you flirted correctly during the first encounter and she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Waiting for the woman to reply to your message. 1 or 2 days after getting her number is the best time frame with which to work. I say easy because you don’t need to do anything but this step could drive a lot of men insane.FlirtingFormula. Be completely calm.” Don’t waste your time thinking about what she . Step 3 – Wait For Reply This is the easy part. So how long should you wait after getting her number before you send the message? The day after is the best time to text her.

strange isn’t it? Step 4 – Call Her Upon Reply Now here’s where the system works wonders. Save Time By using this system you save time in dealing with women that would most likely bail out on you anyway. don’t wait. Just remember: © Christopher Williamson 2005 72 www. Text Message Battles Even if she already shows interest from the message. YOU: I’m free Tuesday and Wednesday.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know There are plenty of women out there. YOU: Ok… What about Monday night next week? HER: No but I can do Monday day. Here’s an example of a back and forth text message battle. The minute you get a reply to your phone you can be certain she has her phone on. Because you’re limited to words women can often misinterpret what you’re saying and you might ruin a perfectly good dating opportunity by a stupid . but in most cases if she just messaged you she is available to talk. if one isn’t interested don’t get upset just understand she wasn’t right for you or you need to continue working on your flirting skills to improve your chances of success. As soon as you get a reply from the first message call her straight away. Talk about an amazing time management tool. Women still give out numbers when they have boyfriends but don’t tell men until they contact them. From here you can talk for a few minutes simply to organize a “catch up”. in her hand and is very likely to answer. The man would get paranoid and start thinking that the woman is making up excuses not to see him. She might have had a boyfriend or it could have been a complicated time in her life. only send one text message. This assumption could be completely false but it is difficult to be sure without hearing her voice. Can you see how frustrating this would be? If she delays replying each and every message this could be a long pointless process. It saves lots of time.FlirtingFormula. Of course she could be in a meeting or at the cinema when she replied. HER: Sorry I’ve already got plans then.

73 www. The best strategy to use when calling a woman is to create a sense of urgency and always seem busy. The text method works wonders for a few reasons. Because it’s so easy to ignore a message you can guarantee that a woman who replies to your message is definitely interested in a date.     Quick and easy 99% chance of women answering the phone. Now if she replies great! If not.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know How successfully you flirt when you met her governs how likely she is to text you back and go out on a date. How To Act On The Phone Remember flirting on the phone only allows 45% of your potential flirting powers so the quicker you end the phone call and see the woman in person the better. You suggest that you don’t have much time to talk because you’re busy. Great training wheels for shy inexperienced men Saves you time and money on women that weren’t very interested. Sure. sweet and to the © Christopher Williamson 2005 . If she were interested she would have responded. Take control of the conversation and direct it towards your intention of seeing her again. Listen I don’t have long to talk. how are things? Good. Great. who cares? She wasn’t that interested in you anyway and you just saved a lot of time. John: Sarah: John: Sarah: Hey Sarah.FlirtingFormula. This way the conversation is short. It’s not manipulative but rather a favorable situation to end the phone call and allow the attraction to grow by flirting with her in person. Word-for-Word Phone Conversation Here’s an example of a phone conversation using the occupied and urgent technique. I’m just calling to see if you want to catch up this Thursday at 5pm for coffee at (x café shop).

Although this is a very simple conversation.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know John: Sarah: Great. Of course most conversations won’t be this short but keep them as close to this guideline as possible. If she starts asking you about your day you can comment but don’t get into details because before you know it you’ve just used all your “Mr. HE JUST: called. © Christopher Williamson 2005 74 www. These women might be doing important things and now find you annoying because you’ve kept them from their activities. If you decide to talk a little longer make sure you end the conversation at the peak of your emotionally intense flirting and never when you run out of things to say and it dies down. Even if the flirting during the first encounter went really well and the woman was attracted to you. There is no need to talk for longer than a few minutes. If you want to build some emotion on the phone with flirting that’s . it works. Bye. Interesting” on the phone rather than the actual date. directed and has a life. invited me on a date and left. Keeping the phone conversation short shows you have a life and other things to do. See ya Sarah. independent.FlirtingFormula. He’s got other things to do than just talk to me and even though I wanted him to talk to me longer I respect him more and feel even more attracted to him now. I’ll see you Thursday then. by lingering on the phone without flirting you show that you faked the first encounter by communicating that it wasn’t the real you. THAT MEANS: he’s confident. Men who linger on the phone until the woman gets bored project that they have nothing better to do than talk all day.

FlirtingFormula. stutter. This is the test: Are you the same guy that I met the other day? This doesn’t mean are you literally the same guy. The biggest test you’ll face on the first date unfortunately lasts the entire date. As you analyze these flirtatious examples during different dates you’ll eventually gain a deeper understanding of flirting. look submissive and act boring. This is being nervous. but unfortunately shyness stops most men from ever showing their true self. While most of the techniques in this book are great training wheels to get you started you can’t solely rely on this material. try and gauge what she’d like to do. intelligent and charming man she met? Women don’t want to give out their phone numbers to fun. Luckily experience cures even the most nervous men allowing them to be totally confident and fun. but rather where you putting on an act when she met you or where you really being the funny. women are interpreting your moves and wondering what sort of man you really are. The examples that appeal to you the most are most likely similar to your “true” personality. you should “be yourself” but unless you feel comfortable around women you’ll always put on a shy boring personality hoping it gets you somewhere. playful and flirty men. Depending on the type of woman she . © Christopher Williamson 2005 75 www. only to find out these men used a rehearsed charming line and don’t actually have anything interesting to say and can’t hold a conversation to save themselves. But if you really aren’t sure where to take her. especially if you haven’t dated for a long time. coffee is always the safest first date.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 5: Talking On Dates Genuineness The first date is one big test. Instead you’ll fumble. Yes. This is not being yourself. Examples: The Flirting Formula During Dates There are many places you can take women on dates. As always. Of course it’s difficult to feel confident and be fun during the first date.

by always having the opposite reaction to what she likes builds tension and intensifies emotion. If you’re not sure what’s unstylish ask her.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Shopping During a shopping session you’ve got many conversation topics at your disposal. Play footsies under the table. Clothing Store – Find the most horrible piece of clothing and place it in front of her while looking in the mirror and tell her it makes her ‘look cool’. You need to find something that looks terrible otherwise she’ll think you’re strange. it works.FlirtingFormula. A date at a cafe needs flirting that is playful and confident. While you’re talking or having a moment of silence gently step on her foot. Opposite to the previous. coffee doesn’t have much movement and energy. Pretend to read her future in her palm © Christopher Williamson 2005 76 www. Choose the option with which you’re most comfortable. “Na look it matches your hair/eyes so well” The idea is to be sarcastic. a great way for her to remember the date. Coffee Unlike shopping. Although it’s a cliché. Starting conversations should be easy with all the shops. Once she looks at you glance away pretending you didn’t do it or look at her like a foot war is about to break out. this works well when she points out something she likes. You’re both constantly moving which makes the experience much more energetic and lively.“So what’s the dorkiest girl’s item in this place?” Then grab the outfit she points to and say why it suits her so well. Clothing Store -Give her a weird look when she picks a piece of clothing off the rack that she obviously likes. items and people . Alternatively you can point to somebody at another table implying he stepped on her foot. Your facial expressions need to let her know you’re not being serious. Shopping is great because it shows you’re not trying to impress. She’ll say it’s horrible and tell you to get it away from her but just continue to emphasis why you think it looks cool. This is powerful flirting. Remember. But because you can’t move around as much the power of your verbal flirting becomes more important.

The only rule is to take the game very light-heartedly and maintain emotion. She’ll say you’re cheating and you can simply tell her you’re making new rules to the game.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Ask for her hand and tell her something silly about her future. Make sure she’s the “fun type”. If you do poorly you can say.FlirtingFormula. Cheat any way possible to make sure you win. Alternatively. If she sees you take a bad shot say something like. The idea is to keep flirtatious sexual tension and to make sure you’re arrogance comes across as being playful. Say.” Although this sounds silly it’s very flirtatious and fun. Make a wager that the winner is crowned “the coolest person in the world. tense and an excuse for excessive flirtation. Mini Golf Mini golf is a great active date that you’ll both enjoy. Because you’re not taking the mini golf seriously you can do sneaky things to make sure you win. Pretend to be a serious golfer. If she is too cool to play. unfortunately some girls believe they’re “too cool” for activities such as mini golf. you gotta play by the rules Fiona. drama and tension throughout the entire date. it’s a good indicator that she’s not adventurous and fun. Obviously jump back out of your serious face when you . I’m just warming up” “You put me off” or “You’re bad luck”. After her curiosity has been stirred by saying things like. “The new rules state that only Chris can win! Hey. This communicates you don’t take things too seriously and that golf isn’t the © Christopher Williamson 2005 77 www. no it’s alright. “Do you want to know your future?” If she agrees grab her hand and in a disappointing voice tell her that she’ll be working at McDonald’s for the rest of her life. Put on your most serious face. If you do poorly putting near a hole take several shots in a row and say it was only one shot. “I’m just giving you a head start”. lick your finger and check the direction of the wind and take your shot like the pros do on TV. “No.” If you play a terrible shot playfully and sarcastically boast about how great your skills are. you can just ask for her hand and just say. This works even better if you’re indoors. especially if you’re a highly competitive person. Making a meaningless wager such as this makes the mini golf game much more exciting. “Oh… no!” and give her hand back. “I don’t think I can be seen with you anymore” then reveal her future.

Movies While the movies can be a great place to take women on dates. It’s just harmless fun to tease women about a crush they have. It doesn’t even matter if she really likes the actor or not. Ask her if she thinks the lead male role is hot. it’s not recommended for the first date. Notice how most of these flirting techniques are based on conflict. This technique shows you’re not eager and are accusing the woman of being the aggressive male. Alternatively. When she tells you her answer.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know most interesting sport. The best thing is you can’t accidentally hurt anyone by throwing popcorn because it’s light as a feather. You can pretend to define an invisible wall between the two seats to make it perfectly clear that you don’t want her temptations to get the better of her. You might get a soft hit or disappointed look but don’t give in. Let the woman know she’s being “too suggestive” by sitting next to you in the cinema. You may even break out into a popcorn fight. Throw popcorn at her. After you’ve made you’re point you can move back to your seat. Then ask her who’s the hottest actor. whether she admits it or not. you’re communicating your interest by throwing popcorn at her. emotion and sexual tension? Create playful arguments during your dates. flirty and she’ll love it. Tell her she needs to keep her distance. move to the next seat leaving a gap between the two of you and then wave to her implying you’re now at a safe distance. © Christopher Williamson 2005 78 www.FlirtingFormula. Regardless of whether you go on your first date or a later date make sure it’s a film that’s been screening for some time so there won’t be that many people in the cinema. but you’re making it as fun as possible. she’s being “suggestive” The best way to create sexual tension is to mention it. tell her she has a crush on him. especially for . Remember when you were a child? Did you ever harmlessly throw things at your brothers or sisters? Maybe it was your best friend? Just like a woman communicates that they like a man by slapping him on the arm. It’s fun. It’s hard to spend time together with someone when you can’t talk in the cinema.

“You’re such a dork” “I’m watching you missy” or “You know I have eyes in the back of my . Don’t say. If you do talk about factual stuff spice it up with things like.FlirtingFormula. I can see everything. You’re in complete control over what you talk about so make it interesting. If you find yourself moving into one of these directions just say. When she begs you to answer these questions you know she’s interested. Good Topics The best way to make women feel comfortable and close is getting them to share experiences and information about themselves. “Can we please change the subject”. You don’t need to know all the demographics about your date. you’re in trouble. Talk about current TV shows. There are many interesting areas of conversation you should focus on. propaganda. Save that stuff for when she really likes you. expartners or the state of the world are all topics from which to stay away. then quickly interject using one of the topics above to save yourself from a depressing date. dreamlife and what they wanted to be when were a little girl. just go ahead and talk about something more fun. © Christopher Williamson 2005 79 www. Ask about their passions. You’re the leader so make sure you guide the conversation in a positive direction.” Deadly Topics Politics. Remember: If you get caught up in the facts you’ll certainly become boring. “Let’s talk about (insert new topic)”. religion and negative experiences such as deaths. If you’ve spoken excessively about topics that have no hope of bringing up humor. likewise there are also some topics you should never talk about during early dates. People associate the time they’ve had with someone to the feelings they experienced during their time together.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know What To Talk About On Dates Your first date is not a job interview. Don’t forget to throw in some playful behavior during the dates to keep the interaction interesting. Hollywood gossip and anything in the entertainment industry.

I’m here to tell you that flirting is an important part of communicating with women. When you start using these tips notice how women begin to treat you differently. Absolutely boring! Women are emotional creatures and they love the feeling a collection of emotions gives them.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 6: Dating Guidelines “What is not earned is not valued” You’re about to learn 18 strategies that truly impress women. © Christopher Williamson 2005 80 www. 2 years 4 months. When women hit you with standard questions like these it’s a good idea to have cheeky answers ready to throw back at them. You may have heard of the term flirting before and never really understood what it was or never really thought it was necessary in attracting women. Playful and absurd remarks work the . In a pharmacy. A man that is not earned is not valued in the eyes of beautiful women. Here are some examples of better responses. Answer demographic questions with sarcasm One of the worst things men do when interacting with beautiful women is get trapped in plain and boring conversations with them. It’s not that these questions are bad – they just shouldn’t be used in a first encounter with women. 25. What’s your name? How old are you? Where do you work? How long? Sam. Logical conversation defined another way means giving someone straight plain answers to their questions. While some of these tips may seem strange remember one principle. Some guys get so nervous that they lose all creativity in coming up with interesting topics. Regular conversations often consist of unimaginative questions that are likely to put a woman to sleep if they don’t turn her off you completely. Well. They resort to tedious factual questions that don’t lead to the kind of flirtatious exchange that engages a woman’s attention.FlirtingFormula. 1.

We think that no means no forever.FlirtingFormula. you’re not the man I’m looking for. So make sure your comments are both playful and absurd.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know What is your name? How old are you? So where do you work? How long? (looking at crotch) to know that.” But the woman is really thinking: “That wasn’t the right place for a kiss” or “I want it to be special” or “We’re supposed to kiss later”. really. We tend to assume the worst from every situation. Different women will have different rules about when they should kiss a man. Too old for you. she won’t resist. This is similar to the test women use to weed out weak men from starting conversations with them. On the other hand. Prince Charming. arrogant or just weird. If you don’t kiss her after one date you’re not making the necessary sexual advances to progress the relationship. no. Many of them are harmless and should in no way be interpreted as an outright rejection. usually as you part to go your own ways. Kiss her by the end of the date Very rarely will a woman take charge and kiss a man. Why would she be there in the first place? There could be several reasons why she didn’t want to kiss you. if she’s at your place but she’s already stopped your kissing attempts it doesn’t mean she’s not interested. She may reject your advances once. Because men are supposed to be the sexual initiators. When in fact it simply means no. You can sit together for hours and a woman won’t kiss you. For example. always kiss a woman by the end of the first . I am! I don’t think you’re entitled If you don’t talk in a playful tone of voice you’ll come across as serious. I’m a lion tamer. not right at this moment. The man may be thinking: “She doesn’t like me. no. Persistence is very important.” then suddenly. Of course you can’t keep this charade up forever but by answering question in a funny way you show her that you have a fun personality and don’t take the date too seriously. No. if you answer her questions playfully with logical answers you’ll seem childish and feminine. but if you suddenly attempt to kiss her later on. you always have to kiss her first. “Yes!” As the rule says. She may say “No. 2. © Christopher Williamson 2005 81 www. no. If you’re not strong and brave enough to kiss me. Why? Women need time to get turned on and genuinely interested in a man.

Nobody even sees their best friend every day of the week.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Show her you’re a man by taking charge and kissing her. Use them wherever possible. without even realizing it.FlirtingFormula. 4. Cultivate the ability to not care If you put all your focus on getting just one woman you will put enormous pressure on yourself to succeed.. At this point you start clinging and being insecure again. look at every new woman you meet as a possibility for a date. It’s not the events that bring you closer together. When you concentrate exclusively on just one woman your desire naturally grows stronger and stronger because you have no other options in your life. They put so much thought into a single girl they fall in love with her and sit locked in their room for days after the rejection disaster. See her once a week for two months This rule is not set in stone. The more you think about the person you are dating. Women actually find these leadership acts – kissing and making decisions – very attractive. when they go out for that picnic. It may seem like a strange and unfamiliar idea but try and remember a woman you couldn’t stop thinking about. What happens if the woman you are pursuing decides she isn’t interested? Then you’ve just wasted two weeks chasing this woman only to get rejected. You call more often. 3. Give women time to reflect on the experiences they’ve had with you. the more you become addicted to thinking about them. It’s encounters like this that really crush men. but the reflections about these experiences when you’re alone that trigger these feelings. This extremely “goal oriented” way of thinking is very destructive and leads to natural signs of eagerness. but for the guy that is just starting to improve his dating success this rule is priceless. or maybe it’s during that amazing night of sex? Actually it’s none of these. linger on the phone until she finally says.. Love is a powerful process that occurs when you’re away from somebody you care about. losing all sense of masculinity. Did you think about her lying in your bed? While you were at work? Driving in your car? Did you get a warm fuzzy feeling every time you said her name? That’s when the falling-in-love was taking place. so why should it be any different for a potential long-term partner? Have you ever thought about the process of falling in love? Does it happen when people spend time at the movies together. Instead. “Ahh. I have to go .” and you beg her to “catch up” © Christopher Williamson 2005 82 www.

Rather. Shopping is a great activity because the most you’ll pay for is milkshakes. Just because you’re being nice it doesn’t entitle you to sleep with a woman. © Christopher Williamson 2005 83 www. Why cause an argument? It works best when these gentlemanly actions look normal and you’re doing them sincerely and naturally. This is serious: some women take these rules very seriously.FlirtingFormula. this is not to say you should abuse the rights of women. Most men don’t understand that these tasks are simply a . • Open building and car doors. The idea is not dating hundreds of women and saying that you’re exclusive with every one of them. It doesn’t mean you must go out of your way to buy things – only if you end up getting food.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know with you. If you look uncomfortable you’ll make the woman uncomfortable. Chivalry is most crucial during the first date where women form their initial impressions of you. Just know that it could be 50 girls before you find a great girl. independent man. But be aware that failure to pay for a date could mean you never get a second date. depending on what he likes. Who’s doing the chasing now? Ultimately. this throws you back in the category where most frustrated men stay all their lives. Of course you don’t have to do all of them all the time. but if the woman insists on paying her share. Be a gentleman Chivalry is still an important aspect of dating which you should acknowledge. let her pay after offering to pay twice. • Pull out her chair. For every man it’ll be different. Failure to be chivalrous can result in a woman no longer seeing you. 5. having your own life. That’s not what we’re teaching you. Learn to do these things simply as kind gestures. The order of importance is: • Pay for dates. Always assume you’ll pay. • Walk on the outside of the curb. Although you want to become a strong. date multiple women until you find a great girl you want to get into a relationship with. These rules have been around for decades and still apply in today’s world.

If you already have a stunning wardrobe. © Christopher Williamson 2005 84 www. and always.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know 6. 39 per cent of women find a man’s small and sexy butt to be his most attractive body part. or find a style that accompanies your existing pair of . These little things can make all the difference in the long run. Cologne Find great cologne that women really enjoy. have fresh breath. remember that. If you pick your fragrance well women will constantly compliment you on it. have a clean fresh haircut. If you want to get noticed this is a surefire way. Personal Hygiene I hope this goes without saying – always shower.FlirtingFormula. wouldn’t it? Work these things to your advantage. and it doesn’t take much effort to shower. trim your nails. then get someone to help you out. Shoes (most important for first impressions) Have you ever noticed some girls have more pairs of shoes than they do wardrobe space? Girls put great importance on their choice of shoes. Cologne only smells great on a clean body. Clothes Dedicate an entire day at your local mall to get your personal appearance up to scratch. Look sharp Before you even consider getting together with a woman you must be clean. This doesn’t mean great cologne can replace showers. that’s great! On the other hand. This is not an option. Then if the conversation seems to go well you might as well ask for her number. Women put hours and hundreds of dollars into looking their best when going into public. and I mean always. if you’re the type of guy who wouldn’t know style if he were wearing it. Even the 30ml bottles last a long time. Always test cologne on your skin before you buy it. So spend most of your energy finding a great pair of jeans that’ll really make your butt look stunning. This is the perfect opportunity to ask female strangers their opinion on something you sincerely need to know. Have some great outfits and be proud when wearing them. Work out your style and then find shoes that accompany that style. Some fragrances smell great on the sample card but horrible with your skin type. look after your teeth. I hope you see the importance of these things when trying to date women. it’s a requirement. It would be very difficult to get a call back from a woman that smelt your beer-and-pizza breath. To leave the best possible impression you need to have everything working in your favor.

but bestow these signs of affection on women as gifts. You communicate they are better than you. Eventually she’ll constantly do the nice things in return for your affection.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Facial Hair If your genetics allow you to grow facial hair. © Christopher Williamson 2005 85 www. Cuddle her every single second you spend with her and a hug loses its meaning as a sign of affection. People know when you idolize and have worship-like tendencies towards them. experiment with growing short stubble versus a clean-shaven look. Masculine men reward women for good behavior by showing affection. Compliment women on their personalities It seems logical to give compliments when you really like someone. So if you find out her father has a beard. try growing a goatee. If a woman does something nice that you enjoy. show her some affection. When you envy someone for his or her coolness. It’s attractive because it’s unique to men. Masculine men respect themselves and their time.FlirtingFormula. and even though they may appreciate your compliment they place you below themselves on the social ladder and disrespect you for it. so when you finally give her what she wants. beauty. such as playing with her hair or rubbing her shoulders. it becomes special. many women are attracted to men that are similar to their fathers. Strangely enough. The best times to display this sort of affection are when she does something you like. in this case. hence the idea of “rewarding” her. 7. 8. Lots of women find stubble very attractive on a man. you communicate something very strong to that person. popularity or. if somebody wastes it they don’t allow that person to walk all over them. but there is some fascinating psychology behind this. limit this action during your time together. Reward women for good behavior Diamonds are so cherished and valuable for one simple reason: because they’re rare. and is thus considered a physical element of masculine energy. Being an emotionally stable man doesn’t mean you have to be a cold human being that never hugs or kisses people. If a woman really enjoys something you do. This gives them an .

Start taking up some hobbies.” “You have such a great sense of pride.” “You’re so open to hearing other people’s opinions.” Women love men who notice specifics. why hasn’t he called?” “What did I do wrong?” If you say. get involved in some investments. relationship or free time – you start to develop obsessive tendencies towards the thing you © Christopher Williamson 2005 86 www. compliment her on her personality or great behavior. Always connect the compliment with an event to prove you’re not just rambling some lines off the top of your head. take up a challenge and be passionate about life. Leave with mystery When the date is over. “I’ll call you next week. “Will he call?” “Doesn’t he like me?” “It’s been a week. Linked to an experience.” she instantly knows you’re 100 per cent interested. There’s nothing women hate more than a liar. If you ask them how they want to be treated they’ll often mention they enjoy compliments. Like yesterday when we spoke to John you were so patient and really gave him the time he deserved. never tell the woman you’ll call her or that you’re going to see her again. “You know what I like about you… “You have such a passion and curiosity for life. If you leave it “open to interpretation” it gives her time to think and wonder for a while how you feel about her. When you focus your life too much in one direction – on your job. You want to project the masculine element of mystery. Instead of complimenting her on her appearance. This way she’ll think about you more often.FlirtingFormula. They do.” “You really respect people’s time. The best way to seem busy is to actually be busy.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Women love compliments. The more detailed the compliment the greater her appreciation. you’d say something like: “You know what I like about you… You’re so open-minded about other people’s opinions.” 9. An example would . Does this mean you can never give women compliments? No. Everyone likes to be complimented – but to attract a woman this is not recommended. A good general rule is to seem like you’re busy and don’t have all that much time to talk to her or call her.

insecure and extreme attachment you’ve grown towards her. There are many strategies and guidelines you can follow to ensure you come across as . Eventually she’ll notice the strange. easy-going and masculine while dating women. Unless you can maintain a balance between your dating life and the other aspects of your life. and she’ll leave you. © Christopher Williamson 2005 87 www. ultimately making you seem too feminine.FlirtingFormula.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know focus on. you’ll never keep the woman you truly want.

If you continue to go on dates and don’t even affectionately touch a woman’s arm at some point it becomes harder and more awkward later on. If you haven’t hugged. Most women only feel comfortable with men entering their personal space when they know them to a certain . The flirting you do around groups of people greatly differs to flirtatious acts around only one woman. If you watch a couple interacting from a distance you can usually tell how close they are just by how far apart they stand. Before we explore secluded flirting you must first understand how to successfully get there. First Encounter: Meet for first date: During the first date: End of first date: Meet for second date: During the second date: End of second date: None Take hand and kiss on the cheek or nothing Touch the arm and hands in flirtatious ways Passionately kiss Hug or kiss Hold hands during appropriate times Kiss and maybe hug © Christopher Williamson 2005 88 www. Touching a woman is a great way to build trust. In isolated settings such as your place or her place the rules change and you’re allowed to be more sexually flirtatious. kissed or touched reasonable places such as her arm or hand then you’ll have trouble making her feel comfortable in an intimate setting because she hasn’t felt any contact from you before.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 7: Intimacy With Women Preparation Different types and amounts of flirting are acceptable in different circumstances. To ensure a woman will be comfortable when she’s having a date at your place here’s a guideline for what flirtatious physical contact you should have done.FlirtingFormula.

If she asks for you to roll back onto your side you can say. Tickling her hips. what are you talking about? I’m not taking up any room at all. Whether you decide to slowly push her completely onto the floor is your choice. As she realizes you’re taking over she’ll try and win her share back. If she joins in and gets more aggressive turn up the pace but don’t use all your strength. really I’m not”. “what’s in it for me?” or “Na. waist. Bed Hog When she tries to get back on the bed/couch or even if she’s already lying with you roll over taking up most of the space. If she still doesn’t throw it get off the bed.FlirtingFormula. Pillow Fight To increase the excitement. This saves you from looking like you’ve failed at tickling. This involves being playful. If she doesn’t throw it back tell her to throw it back. If you’re looking for a great way to transition into a pillow fight throw your pillow at her when she’s across the room or on the bed with you. feet or armpits work best.” Soft Tickle If she’s comfortable lying next to you and being close you should be able to tickle her gently to get a positive reaction.” Be smiley and sarcastic when you say this comment. Depending on the size of your bed/couch and whether this action can be done harmlessly or not is up to you. creating a “I’m hard-to-get vibe. fun. Here are some examples of fun things you can do in a secluded setting. Once she realizes what’s going on she’ll try to move her way back on. grab the pillow off her and throw it at her again. © Christopher Williamson 2005 89 www.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know While these are only guidelines and examples they show the progression of trust in a relationship and the steps necessary for comfortable physical intimacy. Flirtatious Mood The flirtatious mood is the same flirting used during dates. If she’s not ticklish or you don’t have the right touch to make her giggle say something . teasing and confident. grab your pillow and start whacking her softly with it. “I’m not trying to tickle you. Bed Push While the two of you are talking on your bed/couch subtly roll over while performing a yawn or stretch to move her closer to the edge. Eventually she’ll join in.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Suggestive Mood While hogging the bed. These stats have been displayed again to emphasize the important factors of flirting during later stages of dating. 7% of flirting is the words you say. deep. verbal and actions Section 1: Sexy Body Language Intense eye contact. The Suggestive Mood is broken down into the non-verbal. sexy and romantic.” Have you ever heard of this expression? It’s how you’d look if you expressed happiness without smiling. fluctuating tone of voice that doesn’t stutter. also known as (bedroom eyes). Understand that 100% of the flirting mentioned above show a man who’s confident and in control of the situation. 38% of flirting is your voice characteristics – a slow. but rather how sexily you portray yourself in these circumstances. The suggestive mood is slow. Eyes are said to be the “gateway to the soul” and I would agree with that. Even though these statistics have been mentioned several times men continue to disregard the importance of this information. and slow. tickling and having pillow fights is fun it won’t easily transition into intimacy unless you know what you’re doing. Your eyes say more about you than you can imagine and women love the intense focus they get from your smiling eyes. deliberate movements without nervous fidgeting. Remember: 55% of flirting is body language – focused intense eyes. Smile With Your Eyes “Smile with your eyes. Here are 3 non-verbal cues to keep in mind. extremely slow intentional word emphasis and use of subliminal metaphors are used in secluded settings. Whether a woman considers a secluded environment with you “intimate” or not has nothing to do with what you say. deep voice tone (bedroom voice). If you find this concept hard to grasp try smiling in the mirror with your © Christopher Williamson 2005 90 www. tall powerful . This type of flirting shows your intentions for women without groping or using other lame forms of horniness.FlirtingFormula.

It goes without saying you want to give women your complete attention during this stage of the courting process. I want him. Instead of laughing loudly.FlirtingFormula. Section 2: Sexy Talk The words you say in secluded settings can often be an absolutely normal conversation. nothing is sexier than a man who knows what to do. Deep and Deliberate Speech HE JUST: spoke and moved slow and sexy. Your eyes sparkle and glow when you do this. Personal Space If the woman isn’t comfortable with you entering her personal space at this stage you haven’t initiated enough physical contact during your previous encounters. Instead of tickling her. but that’s because the words don’t © Christopher Williamson 2005 91 www. THAT MEANS: he’s confident. Slow. look deep into her eyes with sparkling eyes. masculine. have your bodies touching and have your faces close together. In secluded settings it’s much more appropriate to sit closer. Make no mistake.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know whole face and then slowly drop your mouth into its neutral position. Make sure you realize it’s now appropriate for you to make the moves that seemed unacceptable before. By kissing or hugging you are entering personal space. lean back and give her a smirk with the corner of your mouth. and romantic and knows what to do. Because women interpret slow and sexy with confidence the way you say your words becomes much more important. To the naked eye it would seem like the dialogues of sexual conversation seem boring and wouldn’t work. Do you understand the difference? You need to act cool in the intimate situations. • • • Instead of grabbing a pillow and throwing it at her. touch her hair . There is no need to tease and play around anymore. The woman likes you and wants to be with you.

Oh yeah. The use of metaphors can take the place of real words in this situation. When a couple move into an intimate setting the conversation can take a turn towards plain boring words but still be extremely sexy and seductive. Man: Yeah you love them. When the man says. While it’s okay to be playful in secluded settings the suggestive mood needs to start at some point for intimacy to begin. Is it because they taste so sweet? Or do you prefer their shape? After reading this dialogue exchange you might think:” What the heck? They’re just talking about oranges?” As explained before the words almost become obsolete and a seductive tone of voice becomes the driving force. confidence.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know matter. here’s why. This is my magic pen. Oranges Dialogue Man: Hey what’s that? Woman: An orange. “Yeah you really love them”. HE JUST: stole my hat again and is teasing me. Magic Pen Dialogue Man: Woman: Man: Woman: See this pen? Yeah. He already won me over with his charm. social ability and playfulness and he knows I’m © Christopher Williamson 2005 . this is just playful courting that keeps the conversation going. do you like oranges? Woman: Yeah. what’s so magic about it? 92 www. again! THAT MEANS: he probably doesn’t like me and is playing with my emotions. eventually women come to a point where they’re so attracted to you that they just want to kiss and be intimate. At this point the playfulness should stop. Man: Oh.FlirtingFormula. Implying sexual interest can be expressed simply by your tone of voice. Here’s another example. Look at the following dialogue closely. why doesn’t he want me? Can you see how the dynamics change in secluded settings? While this stuff works to attract women. don’t you? I can see it in your eyes.

secluded flirting is suggesting sexual interest. That doesn’t sound so magic to me. Let me show you its magic. A dialogue exchange such as this would usually take place in a © Christopher Williamson 2005 . Well that’s because you haven’t looked hard enough. whatever the woman interprets it to be. black.” All these lines could be interpreted as the pen’s magic or the man’s magic? What exactly is his magic? Well. With lines such as. Is that so? Yep. If you don’t see how using plain language like this could work then read through this dialogue again visualizing the man as a confident person who speaks slowly. I can write things in blue. beach or on a couch. While the dialogue seems like meaningless drivel the magic pen could also be interpreted as a metaphor for the man himself. red and even green.” “You could search your entire life and never find another just like this” “Yep. Bottom line. In contrast you want to perform actions that are gentle and soft. You could search your entire life and never find another just like this. Yeah. • • • Run your finger along her arms and other innocent parts very gently Massage her neck and shoulders Stroke her hair softly 93 www. If you want some great examples to get your head around this sort of flirting hire some James Bond films and watch how Bond uses suggestive flirting to attract women. Unfortunately most men find it difficult to believe this sort of behavior is very attractive when it’s executed in the appropriate environment. Let me show you its magic. “You see there isn’t another like this one anywhere. before you know it you’ll miss out forever.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Man: Woman: Man: Woman: Man: Woman: Man: Well. How would that feel? Well I’m not sure. You see there isn’t another like this one anywhere. It’s very difficult to understand this sort of communication unless you’ve seen it done extensively. How To Turn Women On While pillow fighting and tickling are examples of energetic flirting these examples are executed in a toned down manner. well to your naked eye this may seem so. deeply and deliberately. empty park. before you know it you’ll miss out forever” “Well that’s because you haven’t looked hard enough.

FlirtingFormula.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know • • Kiss her neck and shoulders gently Whisper in her ear softly Once you’ve done these things and the woman is ready for hot and heavy intimacy you must initiate this and take . She’ll feel 1000 times more turned on if you take the lead. © Christopher Williamson 2005 94 www.

While reading information gives you an understanding nothing can take the place of real experience.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Chapter 8: Flirting Action Plan Even with dozens of examples many men will be confused and overwhelmed trying to determine which lines to use and when. Watch how they interact with women and how the women react. Go out with them to clubs and bars. parties and social events. While it might be difficult to listen in on their conversations watch the body language these men present while they walk through the clubs. Also look for self-confident men who have strong posture. Men who start conversations effortlessly are the men you want to watch. You’ll notice a lot of their behavior is similar to what you’ve just learned. Watch what they say and how the women react. direct eye contact and calm movements. Guys in Bars and Clubs If none of your friends are successful with women then watch guys in bars and clubs. Here are some of the best ways to start observing other experts. Irresistible Film Legends © Christopher Williamson 2005 95 .FlirtingFormula. Most men never even build up the nerve to approach a single woman the entire night. Model The Masters The very best way to quickly expand your understanding of flirting is to watch others flirt in the real world. Rather than trying to memorize lines. these examples are given so you can understand the concept of flirting from different perspectives and eventually develop your own style. Friends If any of your friends are great at dating and attracting women watch them carefully from now on. How do you find the most successful men in the club? Look for men that are already talking to women. If they have girlfriends watch how they interact together.

Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Films can portray false realities that would never happen in real life but there are some movies where men are doing exactly the right things to attract women. To “be normal” or to “be yourself” isn’t the right advice. The reason for listening and watching live broadcasts is because these people need to think on the spot. . tone of voice of the host rather than what they actually say. they naturally have these high social skills. Here’s just a sample of the films you can check out to see men who know how to flirt with women. it’s the best investment you’ll ever make. They possess most of the qualities above including confidence. Popular Hosts Television and radio hosts are paid for their big personalities. © Christopher Williamson 2005 96 www. if he can build up the courage to start.FlirtingFormula. Sean Connery – Johnny Depp – Harrison Ford Big Personalities Often times. Drama Groups Drama students and actors alike are an interesting bunch. If you want more self-confidence sign up for a theatre group today and let the actor’s optimism and quick-wit brush off onto you. Next time you listen to live radio or live TV shows pay attention to the attitudes. To the average shy man the term “normal” can mean staying home and playing videogames. Joining a drama group that gets together regularly does wonders for a man’s confidence. It may seem silly and strange because it’s not within your comfort zone but then again neither is talking to women. funny and interesting men. telling men to just be normal isn’t enough. Really consider looking up drama classes. We want men to develop big personalities. expressions. Women are attracted to spontaneous. mysterious. The James Bond Series Don Juan DeMarco Indian Jones and the Temple of Doom – Pierce Bronson. While it’s virtually impossible to list certain qualities and expect men to act accordingly it is possible to provide some places to help develop these qualities naturally.

Like building blocks.FlirtingFormula. Having just one technique allows you to assess the woman’s reaction. Second Common Mistake – Not Being Social. Once you see women responding positively towards you the motivation to grow and to learn more flirtatious techniques will come naturally. Remember for women to feel attracted you need to add some conflict and tension first. Use the technique. nothing else will work. First Common Mistake – Poor Body Language Remember if you can’t make women feel comfortable . Fun and Interesting If you believe your body language is great go back and read “Playful Flirting” in Chapter 3 and realize most men don’t speak emotionally when talking to a woman they really like. use one technique to progress to more complex techniques. Why only one technique? While you may know everything now. First Encounter Flirting: Non-Verbal and look at the drawings to see what might be wrong with your posture. This is the wrong approach. then you need to move back and reassess why things aren’t working. While a lot of people claim to know everything they don’t seem to put anything into practice. Don’t project nervousness or else women will be nervous too! Of course this skill takes practice so don’t expect to walk up to women and have total confidence the first time. Start by learning just one technique from this book and start using it during your conversations with women. You can’t expect to know everything before you try anything! What if something doesn’t work? If you keep trying one technique and your results are less than favorable. © Christopher Williamson 2005 97 www.Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Learning Process If you’re completely terrified talking to women memorize some easy techniques like poking your tongue out at women and see what happens. assess how the woman reacts and start to use a second technique. when you start conversations with women everything will fly out the window. In Chapter 5 read the section called. There are three reasons the technique won’t work. Actions speak louder than words. Most men because they fear failure try to know everything before they try anything. eye contact or facial gestures. To really benefit from the overwhelming amount of information provided you must pick just one technique to use when you flirt with women.

Playing Hard-ToGet” in Chapter 5. As you grow from your experience it’ll become easier and natural to flirt with women wherever you go.FlirtingFormula. Learn from your mistakes so you can move forward quickly without much .Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know Third Common Mistake – Sucking Up Too Much If you’re doing everything above correctly then maybe you’re sucking up to women too much. Women hate this behavior and don’t find it attractive at all. © Christopher Williamson 2005 98 www. Go back and read “Human Desire” and “Sucking Up vs.

Congratulations and good luck on your journey to a successful and happy dating life! I hope you have enjoyed your journey through this book. You’re ready for success and are willing to do what’s necessary to achieve your .Flirting Formula flirting secrets every guy must know You’ve arrived at the last page and that says a lot about © Christopher Williamson 2005 99 www. If you have any questions or success stories feel free to send your comments to: Chris@FlirtingFormula.FlirtingFormula.

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