The Language Of Influence Manual

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Table of Contents What is Language?................................................................... 3 Persuasion & Influence?............................................................ 4 Is it Ethical?............................................................................ 5 What is NLP?........................................................................... 6 The Fundamentals....................................................................7 Presuppositions .......................................................................8 Rapport.................................................................................. 9 Sensory Acuity.......................................................................10 Representational Systems....................................................... 11 Sensory Words.......................................................................12 States...................................................................................13 Anchoring..............................................................................14 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................15 Powerful Language ................................................................ 16 Voice Control......................................................................... 20 Stories..................................................................................21 What is a Metaphor?............................................................... 22 More About Metaphors............................................................ 23 Tips for Storytelling................................................................ 24 Tips for Using Hypnotic Language ............................................ 25 Criteria................................................................................. 26 Instant Replay (Decision Strategies)......................................... 27 Asking for Miracles................................................................. 28 Dealing with Objections...........................................................29 Stacking Benefits................................................................... 31 Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence...........................................32 Questions..............................................................................33 Bibliography.......................................................................... 34 Reading & Resources.............................................................. 35 Appendix A – Exercises........................................................... 36 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................37 More Information................................................................... 43 ...........................................................................................45 About the Author....................................................................46 Acknowledgements.................................................................46

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©2004 Jamie Smart

What is Language?
Here’s a definition: “A systematic means of communicating ideas or feelings by the use of conventionalized signs, sounds, gestures, or marks having understood meanings.” – The Merriam Webster Dictionary Online The above definition is typical of the dictionary definitions of language, and makes a valiant attempt to encapsulate what language is for and what it does. Yet language has other functions and powers far beyond the relatively prosaic communication tool described above. Human beings perceive the world through their five senses (sight, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting), and record those sensings in maps or models of the world in their nervous systems. We do not experience the world directly, but rather through our sense and the maps and models we make of those sensings. Language is a meta-map; a map of our internal maps and models. Like our other internal maps and models, our linguistic map is subject to change. The language a person uses is a reflection of their maps and models of reality, and reveals aspects of those maps and models which the person themselves is not aware of. When their models change, their experience of reality changes. Language is a lever for changing those models, and thus changing a person’s reality. You can use language to change your (or someone else’s) reality.

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©2004 Jamie Smart

Persuasion & Influence?
Persuasion and influence is the process of getting someone else to want to do, think or believe what you want them to. Whether you want someone to accept your ideas, your suggestion or your products / services, persuasion and influencing skills are the key. Persuasion & influence are not… • • • • Bullying Pressuring Tricking Deceiving

Persuasion & influence are • • • • Elegant Smooth Effective Often undetectable

Influences on this training This training draws on a number of different sources. The main source is Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), probably the most powerful communications technology in the world (see ‘What is NLP?’) Other sources include the following: • • • Ericksonian Hypnosis Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence Chris Tomasulo’s ‘Covert Communication’ Model

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excitement. money. that you follow these principles when you use them… Best interests Ensure that you have your own best interests and the best interests of the person you are persuading at heart. Choose to be an optimist. adventure. therefore. It has been shown again and again that optimists live longer. For this reason. happier more fulfilling lives than pessimists. we suggest that you choose beliefs that support and help you. however. Believe in the universe You can think of the mind as having two parts: a thinker and a prover.co. services or physical products. neither will they. If you know that what you want them to do is going to be good for them and make them happy / healthy / wealthy then go for it. This choice never disappoints! www. Einstein once said that the main question facing humanity was “Is the universe a friendly place?” We suggest that you decide to believe it is. very powerful.uk -5- ©2004 Jamie Smart .Is it Ethical? The skills you will learn are neither ethical nor unethical – they are. then either change your belief or change your product. Believe in your product / service / idea Whether you are persuading someone of the value of your ideas. and the quickest way to get others to believe in you is to believe in yourself. The thinker can think almost anything – the prover proves what the thinker thinks by filtering out information that doesn’t agree with it. giving you a happy and fulfilling life. don’t! While it is possible to get people to do things against their best interests. they won’t make the same mistake twice. If in doubt.saladltd. and they’ll tell lots of other people not to either. Choose to believe that you can have more happiness. If you don’t. fun. one thing is fairly certain: if you do not believe in it. Believe in yourself It is an old adage that ‘people buy people’. There are many excellent resources available for developing your self-belief – we suggest you use them. We suggest. So make sure that you believe in whatever you want others to believe in. pleasure and fulfilment in your life than you ever thought possible.

taught and changed (reprogrammed. learned.co. NLP is a methodology based on the overall operational presupposition that all behaviour has a structure…and that structure can be modelled. when they set out to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communication and change.uk -6- ©2004 Jamie Smart .What is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Programming The ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to achieve certain results.) It has been used to model some of the best persuaders and influencers in the world.Clair describe it thus: “(NLP) is a modelling technology whose specific subject matter is the set of differences that make the difference between the performance of geniuses and that of average performers in the same field or activity” In the Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual (1999). Grinder & St. characterised by the sense of curiousity and adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody and the kinds of things worth knowing. and the powerful models of communication and change they created (and have continued to develop.) The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills. including the brain and the five senses. Richard Bandler describes NLP as follows: “NLP is an attitude. NLP has evolved as an innovative technology enabling the practitioner to organise information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once inconceivable. In Whispering in the Wind (2001). www. Linguistic The verbal & non-verbal language symbols with which we code & transmit meaning.saladltd.” Neuro The nervous system. to look at life as a rare and unprecedented opportunity to learn. The term NLP is used to describe both the approach to modelling that they used.

Know whether you’re getting what you want (Sensory Acuity) Once you know where you want to go. Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you are moving in the right direction (or otherwise.) Rapport is the process of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind. expecting a different result. you need the flexibility to change what you are doing in order to get a different result. Adjust what you’re doing accordingly (Behavioural Flexibility) “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again.” When you notice that you are not getting what you want.” You must start where the person you wish to influence is (the ‘Present State’. Well-formed outcomes are an important tool for ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life. 2.) 4. 3. “Intelligence is the ability to have a fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it.saladltd.” www.The Fundamentals The fundamentals of influence from an NLP perspective are straightforward: 1.co. The human nervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking.uk -7- ©2004 Jamie Smart . Know what you want (Outcome / Direction) One of the key NLP questions is ‘What do you want?’. Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport) “The map is not the territory. you need to be able to notice (using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there. and you tend to get what you focus on.

They are not ‘true’.saladltd. only feedback There is a solution to every problem The one with the most flexibility of thought and action is most likely to succeed You can have whatever you want (if you help enough other people to get what they want) There is enough of everything to go round People buy valued results • • • www.Presuppositions The following list is a selection of presuppositions or assumptions which have proved useful for persuasion & influence. • • • • • • The map is not the territory People make the best choice available to them at the time The meaning of the communication is the response you get. There is no failure.uk -8- ©2004 Jamie Smart . but can be very useful for successful communication.co.

”  Challenge: Discover how many different ways you can develop rapport with people in your day to day life. Matching will develop rapport. then you’ve developed rapport and led their behaviour.) Matching and mirroring often develop spontaneously.saladltd.Rapport Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone’s unconscious mind. NB – Choose low risk situations to experiment with at first. When mirroring isn’t appropriate. they follow. like scratching your nose. and meet them at ‘their map of the world. www.’ It is more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. mismatching will reduce it.uk -9- ©2004 Jamie Smart . Matching their breathing rate with your speech rate. Rapport can be established on many levels: • speaking the same • wearing similar clothing language • breathing at the same rate • supporting the same team • matching body language • having a common interest • matching voice tone Rapport is a starting point for successful communication and influence. you can build rapport by ‘cross-over mirroring’ (eg. and the rapport built up with techniques such as matching and mirroring can give the impression of a deep sense of connection and trust (the basis of the ‘we like people who are like us’ school of influence.) Try matching: • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Half body Head tilt • • • • Vocal qualities Key phrases Predicates Eyeblinks • • • • Facial expression Energy level Breathing Anything else… A simple test for rapport is to make some simple movement.co. The basic rapport test is “if you lead. and are a good sign that you are in rapport with someone. If they make a similar movement within the next minute.

Tip: Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply.co.10 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . The processes taking place inside a person’s mind are reflected to a greater or lesser extent on the outside. say “Shut the &*!% up!” inside your head.saladltd.   www. Visual acuity is particularly important in the practice of hypnosis.” Repeat as necessary.Sensory Acuity “Watch and listen!” This is one of the main ‘secrets’ to becoming highly skilled at NLP. in such phenomena as: • • • • • • • • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Head tilt Vocal qualities (tone. Notice how quickly it’s possible for you to begin seeing and hearing more and more that was previously invisible. as it is one of the keys for ‘making guesses’ about how your suggestions are being received. Challenge: Choose a different area of behaviour from the list above to pay attention to every day. volume etc) Key phrases Sensory predicates Eye-blinks Pupil dilation Rapid eye movement Facial expression Facial symmetry / asymmetry • • • • • • • • • • • • Lower lip size Energy level Breathing rate Breathing patterns Skin colour Muscle tonus Pore dilation Sentence length Non-verbal utterances Involuntary movements Metaphors Anything else you can perceive! You can train your senses to perceive more and more of what is happening in the other person – distinctions that would previously have been ‘invisible’. You’ll see and hear more! If your internal dialogue interrupts your awareness. rate.uk . relaxing your throat muscles. placing the tip of your tongue just behind your upper front teeth and letting your jaw drop slightly.

"reality” and out perceptions of “reality” are not the same…The Map is not the Territory. Representational systems (rep systems) are the means by which human beings are able to do this.Representational Systems According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary to represent something is to call up in the mind by description. This may seem obvious. organise.11 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . By paying attention to the things people are doing and saying..” When people are ‘thinking’.uk . yet very important to remember. www.saladltd. In the Neuro Hypnotic TM Repatterning Manual (2000). Hearing.. and which ones are out of consciousness. it is possible to get intuitions about which representational systems are in consciousness at a given point in time. it can build a sense of rapport. and attach meaning to perceptual input are referred to as REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS. portrayal or imagination. Clues to which representational systems are being used to process can be found by paying attention to: • • • • • • • Spoken language (see ‘Sensory Words’) Eye movements Hand gestures Breathing Head position Voice tone Voice pace If you tell people a story about yourself which closely matches their experience. The sensory modalities by which people encode. Feeling.co. Richard Bandler and John La Valle offer the following description: “Human beings experience themselves and the world they live in through the primary modalities of the five senses…Seeing. As sensory input is internally processed (re-presented). store. they are using representational systems to do so. Smelling and Tasting. it is translated into corresponding sensory representations (or maps) that constitute a likeness or synthesis of the original perceptual input. These intuitions will give you additional choices as a communicator.

hang. If you mismatch their rep systems. sharp.co. Visual (see) Auditory (hear) Kinaesthetic (feel) Olfactory (smell) Gustatory (taste) See. it will diminish the level of trust and rapport.” www. we just clicked. Contrast the sentence “I ate a steak yesterday” with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. handle. sweet Taste. tasty. odour. hold. grip. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. clear hear. do you hear what I’m saying I see what you mean. you can use sensory words & descriptions to get the person more ‘into’ what you are telling them. When you tell stories. scent. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. look.Sensory Words One of the easiest ways for you to get a sense of the rep system someone is favouring at a point in time is through their language. rotten. essence.uk . sour. tell.saladltd. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”. focus. tone.12 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . perspective. Below are some examples of words that indicate a particular rep system – for an exhaustive list. you will begin to become more sensitised to the rep system they are most aware* of using to process at that moment. tangy. click. get a handle on this I smell a rat Just give me a flavour of this When you use language from the same rep system(s) that the person you are communicating with is using. sound. say. for instance: • • • • • That rings a bell. sweet You will also notice people using turns of phrase that indicate certain preferences. talk. bland. it creates more trust and rapport. view. light. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest. salty. clear Feel. As you become more aware of the ‘sensory specific’ words that people use. look at it from my point of view It feels good to me. see Appendix C. light. heavy. ring. stink. light smell.

The following words can be thought of as descriptions of certain states: • • • • • Love Happiness Confidence Sadness Joy • • • • • Creativity Flow Nervousness Amusement Affection • • • • • Fear Focus Comfort Relaxation Trance Each of these words describes a different experience for each person.co. you can anchor it (see ‘Anchoring’). or experiences the resource they need to provide that solution. When you imagine someone who is feeling ecstatic. Excitement). External Signs There are usually external signals that accompany a particular state. Problems & Solutions When people are experiencing a specific problem. when a person finds a solution. there is typically a state associated with that problem. Your listeners will pick this up & respond to it. Eliciting States If you want someone else to access a great state (Eg. If you are telling a story where a character was experiencing pleasure. the ability to alter your own or someone else’s state is very useful. Tone.saladltd. When they do. Similarly. body and mind. feel that pleasure yourself & it will come out in the story. These differences are also likely to be evident in voice analogues (eg.States States are configurations of physiology and neurology.13 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . go there first yourself. For this reason. volume) and many other external signals. www. they are likely to look different to someone who is feeling down.uk . it too is usually ‘wrapped’ in a state.

It is conceptually similar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie.saladltd. anchor it. your voice is a rich source of powerful anchors. The word ‘chocolate’ will trigger different associations. with the exception that it is often possible to set an anchor with a single trial. Choose a different rep system each day and notice how many naturally occurring anchors you can find. The effect of smelling fresh lemons) gustatory (eg. Some examples: • • • • • tonal (eg. The taste of your favourite food) Once again.Anchoring An anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. Precision counts! When doing hypnosis. an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. Challenge: Practice setting and firing anchors with the people you meet from day to day.14 ©2004 Jamie Smart   www. Tip: When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing something you want to have more of. Anchors can operate in any representation system. sounds etc associated with the word lion. the special way a certain person has of saying your name) tactile (eg. it is important to a) ensure that you have a powerful example of the state to work with b) anchor in as many rep systems as possible c) set the anchor just before the state peaks d) fire the anchor accurately. In order to get a ‘strong’ anchor for the state. The way people respond to certain items of clothing) olfactory (eg. The effect of a certain type of handshake) visual (eg. the word ‘lion’ will immediately trigger images.co. .uk . These words are anchors. Setting anchors Anchoring is particularly useful for helping people to recreate certain states. For instance. bells and salivating dogs).

I will often start my commercial with something like the following: “We’re here at BNI. you’ll begin to find yourself doing it spontaneously. it is possible to move from saying mostly things which are ‘verifiably true’ to saying mostly things which are ‘made up’ without the listener(s) noticing the transition. making statements (for instance) about the current ‘reality’ for an individual or group before directing their attention somewhere else.uk . In NLP. For example… Every Friday at 7am. without even planning it consciously.co. and it’s early. and you may be wondering what I’m going to tell you about today… because we’ve all come here for a reason.saladltd. but as you practice it more and more. ‘True’ – Pacing ‘Speculative’ – Leading • We’re here • you may be wondering what • it’s Friday morning I’m going to tell you about today • it’s early • I know you’re going to be • we’ve come here for a reason interested in helping me build • the reason is to build our mine businesses When pacing and leading is done elegantly. this is a fairly ordinary intro. so I know you’re going to be interested in helping me build mine etc… ” On the face of it. but as you look more closely at the way the statements are structured. I go to a business networking group (BNI) where I get the opportunity to do a 60 second ‘commercial’ for services that I offer. this process is referred to as ‘pacing and leading’. there is great value in meeting them at their ‘map of the world’ before you start the process of leading them somewhere new. it’s Friday morning. www. The overall shape / structure is as follows: Pace – pace – pace .15 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . and the reason is to build our businesses.lead Pace – pace – lead – lead Pace – lead – lead – lead Lead – lead – lead – lead… (+an occasional pace) Pacing and leading often sounds ‘clunky’ at first. you may begin to notice that there is a mixture of things that are ‘true’ and things that are more ‘speculative’.Pacing & Leading Whenever you set out to influence someone.

shift in voice tone. Language is processed by your unconscious. As people listen to words. Your ability to use language skilfully with intention will become one of the most powerful influencing ‘tools’ you possess. It is possible to communicate directly with a person’s unconscious mind.co. raised eyebrows.uk . it gets attributed to someone else.16 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . As soon as I realised the power of quotes. it gets processed by the unconscious. “When I first decided to. NB – make sure you have rapport before you use these patterns. feelings. I really hope my time off will give me a chance to look at the high rise apartment being built next door. When Bandler & Grinder said “Learn to use quotes immediately”. bypassing the conscious mind.Powerful Language Language is one of the most profound influences on the way human beings shape their reality. you know.saladltd.” or “I remember last time you decided to give me a pay rise. a touch etc). I was really made up!” Analogue marking You can enhance embedded commands by marking them out with some other behaviour (Eg. (Eg. When you put a command in quotes. make it into a command.” When you put something in quotes. but not by the conscious. I said to myself “Start using quotes in everything you do. then create a larger sentence that can contain it. While people often believe they are in conscious control of the decisions they make.” or “I think the time you’ve spent on this is a sign now that we can explore some exciting opportunities.” Embedded commands You can embed a command in a larger sentence – just think of what you want someone to do. they make pictures. I was excited by the prospect. The following language patterns are some examples of how ‘indirect hypnosis’ can be applied to gently persuade people in many different situations. they knew what they were talking about. the unconscious has much more to do with it than they think.) www. Quotes Milton Erickson used to say “Use quotes to tell people what to do. You can even mark out different words in one or more sentences (Eg. sounds. learn to embed commands. tastes & smells in order to make sense of the words.

can’t you. it makes the sentence difficult to disagree with. Use words such as as.17 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .) Tag questions ‘Tag questions’ are the name for the small phrases like “isn’t it”. If you combine the tag question with a slow head nod and command tone down (see Voice Control). The command “Don’t think of a purple hippopotamus” is difficult to obey. I’m sure you can think of lots of situations where tag questions could be useful. And it’s useful to be able to make things tough to disagree with.Powerful Language (continued…) Negation Negation allows you to say outrageously overt things without taking responsibility for them. and linkage is one of the most powerful. When someone adds a tag question. is it not. Hooray! Don’t start thinking about how useful this could be yet. “Don’t start thinking about how much fun you’re going to have with this.” or “I wouldn’t ask you to only focus on our strengths. because that would be unfair. because it allows you to create a smooth flow in your language while the other person becomes entranced with what you are saying. If you use a headline (just like a newspaper does) that contains a valuable benefit for the person you are influencing. Linkage There are a number of useful patterns to learn. while. isn’t it. (Eg. If you frame it as a question.”) Benefit headlining Would you like to know how you can get people to pay 75% more attention to what you say? Put a headline in front of it. because we’ve hardly started to explore it. it becomes almost irresistible.co.) So if you’re going to use them. doesn’t it. and you’ll create a smooth flow for the listener. because it’s nice to listen to someone who’s easy to listen to. you can get immediate feedback on how interested they will be (see the first line of this paragraph. because etc to create linkage between words & phrases. www. because we’ve got a lot more info to get through. Negatives are not processed by the nervous system in the same way that they are linguistically (eg. doesn’t it. “aren’t they” etc that people sometimes add to the end of sentences. they will be much more likely to listen to what follows. and. use them to send someone somewhere useful.saladltd.uk .

A presupposition is something that must be accepted as true for the sentence to make sense. you probably can begin to see how this could be used. One of the things you’ll really start to become aware of as you continue to practice these more and more is just how much fun you can have with them! www. outside conscious awareness. “I spoke to the clever women and men. then do it! By now. Merely choose the covert communication you wish to mark out. Presupposition One of things that you’ll begin to notice as you start to use become more aware of language is the power of presuppositions. voice tone change.” It is unclear whether the word clever applies to both the women & the men. such as facial expressions. There are four kinds of ambiguity in the English language: • Phonological – meaning two words that sound the same but mean different things. And influencing skills can be enjoyable. You can stack presuppositions to make them even more difficult to resist. eyebrow movements.uk . And learning ambiguities can be fun. To use presuppositions. as well as allowing you to say things that can process in multiple ways. • Scope – Ambiguous words and phrases sometimes are part of a scope ambiguity where it is unclear which parts of a sentence an adjective applies to. The unconscious will process the marked out element of what you are saying as a separate communication. • Syntactic – Because persuading persuaders can be tricky.co. think of what you want your influencee to accept as fact. Analogue marking You can mark out phrases in your communication.Powerful Language (continued…) Ambiguity English is a very ambiguous language. • Punctuation – Where two phrases are combined to make a run-on sentence can be strange to hear at first. then construct a sentence that presupposes it.18 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . a gesture etc. Eg. or just the women. and using ambiguity can induce mild confusion. As eye right this ewe can sea watt eye mean. using any perceivable behaviour.saladltd.

If you are in rapport with someone. you may start to become curious about the many ways that you can. they have more questions to ask.saladltd. but with others. I watch for unconscious responses (eg.” When I say the ‘Are you ready to do a deal’ bit. but generate ‘yes’ responses. Back before you started this training. I might say “With some people I’ll just get a feeling that I can ask ‘Are you ready to do a deal’. as though it was asked directly. but now.Powerful Language (continued…) Embedded questions An embedded question is merely a question embedded in a larger structure. head nod) – then I know whether they’re ready or not. Time You can use language to shift people’s awareness through time. Use them to get people saying yes from the outset.19 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . if I want to know if someone is ready to close. having really learned how to use these patterns skilfully.uk . you may not have believed that was so. Tip: Get a ringbinder with a section for each of these patterns then practice writing out examples pertinent to your influence goals. you can look back to the present and realise just how far you’ve come. When you imagine yourself six months from now. Rhetorical questions Do you like to feel good? Rhetorical questions are questions that don’t require an answer.co. You will be amazed at how powerful this will be. For example.  www. as you consider just how much you’ve learned. start to become more comfortable using language in this way. in the future. they will respond unconsciously to a question embedded in a larger structure.

there are some other key features which are also good to know: Command tone down The pitch & tone of voice you use toward the end of a sentence determines at a deep unconscious level what ‘kind’ of sentence it is: • • • Rising pitch  gets processed as a question. Descending pitch  gets processed as a command.Voice Control Your voice is probably your most powerful tool as a persuader. you will begin to recognise the differences in the ways other people speak.saladltd. Which do you think is most useful to use when making suggestions to the people you wish to influence? www. While matching their voice analogues can be powerful for building rapport.20 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .co. Your ability to speak with flexibility and control can have dramatic results. You can practice learning to control & vary… • • • • • • • Tone Pitch Rate Rhythm Volume Timbre and many other voice ‘analogues’ As you start to listen more closely to other people speak.uk . Level pitch  gets processed as a statement.

it’s just a matter of noticing them. but my partner said to me “Everything in your life is a story. There were hundreds of them. and it mentioned metaphor and storytelling. they look to their own experience to make sense of it. Better yet. • Captivate their attention • Change the meaning of something (Eg.saladltd. stories you’ve heard: all of these count. Events that have happened to you or your friends.21 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . a story about someone else who had that problem or need and had it solved will be very powerful – use this fact to streamline your persuasion. they tend to let down their conscious shields when you start telling a story. I was reading a book about using NLP in the workplace. you just never thought about them that way before. Tip: Start making a list of the stories you already know. embedded commands) • Get people to drop their guard • Get them to imagine themselves enjoying your proposition • Etc etc etc I remember when I first started studying NLP. Now I use them all the time! Stories are like gestures or eye movements – they’re there all the time. decisiveness) • Act as camouflage for nifty language (Eg. films you’ve seen. You can use stories to… • Pace people’s experience • Put people at their ease • Amplify a potential risk of not making a certain decision. an objection) • Tell them how / what to think about something • Get them to access certain resources (eg. When you tell someone a story.  www.” I started to think about it. it just depends how you look at it.uk .co.” I started to make a list of all the experiences I’d had that could be told as a story. then I said to myself “You know lots of stories. When someone has a certain problem or need. I thought “I don’t know any stories”.Stories Stories and metaphors are some of the most powerful tools for influence and persuasion.

You can use stories to… • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Put people at their ease.uk . ‘to carry’. Terence Hawkes defined metaphor thus: “The word metaphor comes from the Greek word metaphora derived from meta meaning ‘over’. It refers to a particular set of linguistic processes whereby aspects of one object are ‘carried over’ or transferred to another object.” For the purposes of this training.22 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . the word metaphor will be used to refer to all of the following: • • • • • • • Metaphors Similes Stories Anecdotes Tall tales Factual explanations Jokes Stories are one of the most powerful resources there is. build rapport & pace their experience Elicit states & gather resources (eg. In Metaphor (1972).saladltd.What is a Metaphor? A metaphor can be described as something which stands for something else. so that the second object is spoken of as if it were the first. a problem) Tell them how to think about something Induce trance in your audience Install strategies Do covert rehearsal Disassociate people Change beliefs Do covert changework & healing And generally act as great camouflage www. and pherein. decisiveness) Induce age regression (take them back to childhood) Captivate their attention Speak to the unconscious mind Illustrate a point Grab your audience’s attention Get people to take off their armour & overturn objections Reframe / change the meaning of something (eg.co.

While the conscious mind is logical. they do what influence expert Chris Tomasulo calls a ‘me too’ . www.co. For example: My love (X) is like a red red rose (Y). putting themselves into the protagonists shoes.they unconsciously search through their own experience to find a personal reference for what you’re saying (this is one of the reasons why people often respond to a story by telling a similar one of their own. a clear and obvious comparison has been made.saladltd. They do this by inviting us to map across certain qualities of the metaphor (Y) to some other situation (X). The unconscious mind is always involved.23 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Metaphors take advantage of the associative ability of the unconscious to communicate a lot of information quickly (& sometimes covertly).More About Metaphors The human mind can be modelled as having both a conscious & an unconscious aspect. He knew that when you tell someone a story. analytical & sequential. associative. is unconscious explains why metaphors can be so powerful. people watching a film will often identify with one of the characters. your unconscious is intuitive. the ‘meaning-making’ function. For instance.) The fact that the search for references. & given to creative leaps.uk . This invites us to focus on certain qualities. it has been noticed that people do this ‘mapping across’ whether a comparison is invited or not. Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotherapist) would tell stories which his clients would then apply (unconsciously) to the problems & challenges they faced in their lives. while ignoring other aspects: Qualities Brought Into Focus Beauty Fragrance Thorniness Alive Transiency Qualities Ignored Chemical reactions Pupil dilation Heartache etc • • • • • • • • While in this case.

shock or surprise. www. h) Use detail to engage people & make them enter fully into your ‘reality’. l) Use your body & voice expressively to intensify the emotions in your story. middle & end. f) Use rich. c) Have a communication goal in mind for the person/people you are telling the story to. sensory language to activate all five senses.co.24 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . j) Choose stories that will be relevant / interesting to your audience. g) Write out stories to tune them & ‘wire them in’. k) Build movement & drama using suspense. b) Stories from your personal experience generally have more impact than borrowed ones. e) Have a beginning.saladltd.uk . d) Pay attention as you speak & notice the response you’re getting. i) Use symbols to activate deep cultural meanings. change ‘direction’. mystery.Tips for Storytelling Here are a few tips to help you enrich your storytelling: a) Make a list of stories & practice telling them to people. If you don’t like the response.

so your unconscious can take care of it. Establish & maintain rapport. Write out examples of language patterns to wire them into your neurology at a deep level. Word selection is an unconscious function.co. lowered voice tone.uk . Play makes learning fast and fun. 8. 9. 4. People respond to emotions.Tips for Using Hypnotic Language 1. learn quickly. 6. Set a goal for your communication (E. Then you can become curious about just how quickly your unconscious will begin to surprise you by allowing these patterns to emerge in your language spontaneously! 5. for the person to access their resources. 7. 2. a raised eyebrow etc) to send commands to a person’s unconscious mind. a touch. so use games to increase your learning speed. Use sensory-rich language. be successful etc). so go there first yourself. Then allow your unconscious to help reflect this in your suggestions. End your suggestions with a descending voice tone for increased authority.saladltd.25 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . 3. www. ‘Analogue mark' key phrases (E. Start speaking even if you don't know what you're going to say to complete it your sentence. relax easily.g.g. with a gesture.

security. helping people. ask “What has to happen for you to get that?” For example… Q: A: Q: A: How do you know when you’ve got freedom?” I just get a great feeling inside. freedom. The third way is to use specific questions to elicit someone’s criteria in a context. you can unpack them by asking someone “How do you know when you’ve got [criteria]?” They’ll give you information about their process or equation that allows them to know they’ve got that criteria. Criteria are context-dependent. So. If a person is buying insurance. right next to the airport. What has to happen for you to get that? I need to know that I can make my own decisions.26 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . www. how do you elicit peoples’ criteria? The first way is just to listen. Many people will tell a related story about themselves that reveals their criteria. but people also have ‘values’ within a given context. portability and reliability” are what’s most important to them. money. When you want to let the person know how what you’re offering or suggesting gives them benefit.) Ask the same person what is important to them when choosing somewhere to live. because the context is different. A person’s criteria in an influence situation are their ‘hot buttons’ within that context.”) The second way is to tell stories that refer to your criteria in the context. These are referred to as criteria. and says “flexibility. such as: • • “What’s important to you about [context]?” “What do you look for in a [context]?” Once you have someone’s criteria.saladltd. At a high level. USE THEIR EXACT CRITERIA WORDS & PHRASES (in a subtle way) to let them know you understand. adventure). we refer to these as values (eg.co. doing a good job. and you’ll hear them jump out (“We went to Greece last year & the place we stayed was so CONVENIENT. then those specific words are anchors for their criteria in that context. Ask a person “What is important to you in your work?” and they will tell you what their criteria are for their work (Eg.Criteria Every person has things which are important to them. Let them know how what you’re offering satisfies their criteria. and you are likely to get different criteria.uk . If they go ‘inside’.

27 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .saladltd. NB: It is important to elicit the strategy they used for something they are happy with. www. and most people make important decisions in the same way every time. find out how they make that sort of decision. [wait for confirmation] How did you decide that?” At this point WATCH & LISTEN as they run you through their decision strategy. you know it was a good decision. Want to know how you can find out how to persuade someone to make a decision in your favour? First. every time you think of it. Things to pay attention to include: • • • • • Sensory language Criteria Number & content of the steps Gestures Eye movements Once you know what the strategy is. then structure your communication accordingly. you can structure your persuasion process in the same way.uk . just ask how they did it last time… “I’d like you to think of one of the times you made this sort of decision and.Instant Replay (Decision Strategies) Human beings are very patterned.co. The process a person uses for making a decision is their ‘decision strategy’. To find what someone’s decision strategy is in a given context.

He briefly accessed a certain state then said “I’d have to get something I could use to remain calm in difficult situations.co. and managed to get an hour with him. This approach can be particularly useful for people offering professional services.Asking for Miracles One of my favourite ways of persuading someone when there is limited time is to get in rapport & then ask the following question: “What would have to have happened by the end of this session for you to say ‘Jamie. the person has to imagine getting to the end of the session & being delighted (which is just where I want them) then gives me some criteria for getting there. I asked him the above question.uk . I had never met him before. I once used this approach with the VP for Sales of a blue-chip company. anchor it. where the session is (to some extent) an opportunity for them to demonstrate the services they are offering. so it was fairly straightforward for me to get him back into it. I want you to come & work with me & my team?’” In order to answer the question.saladltd.28 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .” He had already shown me how he accessed that state. then close the deal! www. then I watched & listened.

Now. for instance).Dealing with Objections The idea of objections is a natural part of the persuasion process. Then build your intuition by guessing what objections you will get from an individual and use this approach to inoculate against them. Unconsciously. They tell you about what your influence subject is thinking. or… • after they arise Dealing with objections before they arise The great advantage of dealing with objections before they arise is… they never arise! Here’s how you do it: • Predict the objection or objections that your influencee is most likely to have. eg.  Challenge: Identify the main objections you get and practice stating them in a whiny / bad tonality voice. no-one wants to associate themselves with the whiny voice. so they disassociate themselves from their objection. or… • State the objection in an unpleasant tonality (whining.uk . Allow yourself to start to identify in advance the objections your influence subject is likely to have. then defuse them with a whiny voice.29 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . and some of them say (hear this in a really unpleasant tone) – “I can’t imagine myself using that silly tone of voice when I talk to my customers” but I know that you can already appreciate just how powerful this is going to be for you. and you have a choice about when to deal with them. “Some people say ‘oooohhhh that’s so much money’ but I know that you appreciate the value that you’re going to get from this.” TM It’s as simple as that. I’ve taught this method to a number of people. You can deal with objections… • before they arise. & can give you information about their needs.saladltd. www. NB – This is one place where bad tonality is really important – this method of inoculating against objections relies on it. then either… • Deal with it in advance using the OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURES detailed below.co.

Dealing with objections after they arise If an objection does arise. Apply OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM. what benefits would you get from coming on this course?” This gives them a safe space to imagine coming on it and feel good. you change it’s meaning. I once heard the objection “I’m worried – What if I train my people and then they leave. what if you don’t train your people and they stay.saladltd. Metaphor can be a powerful reframing tool. Also. If not. If you are. Tell them a story about someone else who had that objection & overcame it. then say “I can’t afford it.30 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . giving their reasons. re-establish rapport through matching & mirroring. Pace the objection (Eg. People will sometimes express interest in one of my courses. “If we can resolve this cost issue. establish whether or not it’s the real objection (Eg.” Find a way to change the meaning of someone’s objection.” I’ll say “If money were no object. they’ll tell you what it really is. It’s much easier to influence someone when they are in a safe space! • Reframing – When you reframe someone’s objection. if someone says “it’s too expensive” you can say “I understand you think it’s too expensive”) Find the intent & gather information. Find the positive intent behind the objection. • Metaphor – A metaphor can be a powerful way to overturn an objection.uk . www. Choose the one of the countermeasures and apply it. 2) 3) 4) OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM Here are some of the most powerful countermeasures to use once you have identified a genuine objection: • Safe Space – Get them to imagine a future where the objection doesn’t apply. here’s a meta-pattern you can use to deal with it: 1) Check that you’re in rapport. great.co. can we go ahead with the deal?”) If price isn’t the real objection.” The response: “Even worse. Gather the information you need to help them solve their problem.

there are also what Chris Tomasulo refers to as ‘hidden wants & needs’. Simple enough. but benefits & anti-benefits provide the motivation. or because you haven’t addressed the hidden needs & fears. People Like (hidden wants / needs) • The familiar / predictable • Winning • Feeling clever or superior • Being seen to make a smart move People Don’t Like (hidden fears) • The unknown • Losing out • Feeling stupid • Being seen to make a mistake • Cost Objections can often result from people’s hidden needs & fears – they won’t mention them. wants & desires & find a way that what you are offering can satisfy them. When you are setting out to persuade or influence someone. Alongside ‘hidden fears’. Ideally. If you get a rejection from someone after establishing credibility. then communicate it to them.Stacking Benefits People buy benefits. It is your job as a persuader to identify the person’s problems. it is either because you haven’t stacked up the benefits. You can find ways to alleviate people’s unspoken fears & needs. they are very powerful in influencing someone’s decisions.uk . In addition to the benefits a person states. address them before they ever get a chance to cause you problems. www.31 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . needs.co. it is a matter of stacking up the benefits (highly valued ‘pluses’ they get as a result of going your way) and antibenefits (‘minuses’ they risk as a result of not going your way) so that they decide to go with your suggestion.saladltd. but they’re there. Many of the tools and techniques in this training will help you to smooth the passage.

This is heightened if there is competition for the scarce resource. then do so. When they say thanks. If there are legitimate scarcities in your influence domain. say “You’d do the same for me” to harness the reciprocity in the situation. they feel a sense of debt towards us. hence the power of testimonials. Also.32 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence In Robert Cialdini’s excellent book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion he identifies six principles of influence that operate on human beings at a level below conscious awareness.co. and focus on it. let people know about your qualifications. tell people about it & reap the rewards (while supplies last. find something you like about them. Challenge: Identify where these six principles are already available to you within your existing persuasion contexts. then start to capitalise on them. If they think there is a limited amount of something. • Liking / Likeness – We like people who are like us – this is part of the power of rapport. Always find ways to show your influencee how other people have benefited. If you have something of value you can legitimately give to your influence subject.) • Authority / Credibility – People will respond more favourably to your message when you have credibility or authority. • Consistency – People like what’s familiar.  www. It feels good to be with someone who likes you! • Scarcity – People can be motivated by scarcity. admit a weakness or limitation first – this also builds credibility. and they will be more likely to stick to it in future.saladltd. • Social Proof – Many people tend to do what others are doing. Find a way to get someone to ‘go on record’ about something.uk . & you will build trust. Find ways to build your credibility. as follows: • Reciprocity – When we do something for someone else. people respond. When you demonstrate consistency. Find elements of likeness with another person. You can also use the fact that people don’t like to appear ‘flaky’. they will want it more. When presenting your case. establish yourself as an expert.

the more opportunities you get to watch. listen & strategise based on the patterns they are showing you. feel & hear? • If you woke up tomorrow & everything was just as you’d like it to be.co.saladltd. not Paxmanesque.uk .33 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . As usual. You can ease into the questions with softeners like ‘I understand. Wants. Here are some powerful questions: Understanding the current situation • What are the major issues you are facing at the moment? • If you could change anything about your current service. and…’ or ‘That’s interesting…’. The more questions you ask.) twelve months if you do nothing? • What are you least happy with about your current (eg.) supplier? Amplifying possibility • What would have to happen for this to massively exceed your expectations? www. Desires • What do you want? • How will you know you’ve got it? What will you see. what would it be? • What problems do you find with doing it this way? • How are your expectations not yet being met? Establishing Needs. how would you know? Amplifying awareness of problems • What will things be like in (eg. rapport counts – have the questioning be gentle. and guide people’s awareness in certain directions.Questions Questions are extremely powerful.

Richard Bandler and John La Valle. Richard Bandler.Bibliography Metaphor. John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. Routledge. 2001 Whispering In The Wind. McKenna Breen. Clair. 1989 Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM Manual. J & C Enterprises.co. 2001 Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual.34 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk . Terence Hawkes. 1999 www. Society of NLP.saladltd.

Reading & Resources Persuasion & Influence (order the books at www.uk • • • • • • • NLP • NLP for Business & Personal Success. Cialdini and others in the field.uk. Ethical Influence with NLP.co. Persuasion Engineering.saladltd. and is packed with stories.uk) • Irresistible Influence Cards. Smart: The fastest way there is to build your persuasion & influence language skills. Influence: The Science of Persuasion. NLP: The New Technology of Achievement. Robert Cialdini: Cialdini’s seminal work on influence & persuasion.covertcommunication. Bandler & La Valle: NLP and sales – from two masters in the field.35 ©2004 Jamie Smart • www.uk. Smart: A 6CD set introducing NLP and covering the core skills in the NLP skillset.com – Chris Tomasulo’s persuasion newsletter.co. Hypnosis. NLP Comprehensive: A bumper crop of ‘personal development’ NLP techniques and some background about the field.co. to sales. www. incorporating NLP. available at www. Bandler & Grinder: The first ‘popular’ NLP book. pattern by pattern. Unlimited Selling Power.co.emofree.saladltd. www. Available at www.saladltd.saladltd.co. Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards. Available at www. Moine & Lloyd: The patterns of Ericksonian hypnosis applied.saladltd. .co.saladltd.uk • Frogs Into Princes. Smart: The fastest way there is to build your hypnotic language skills. available at www.com – Gary Craig’s website with the free Emotional Freedom Therapy manual you can download. Smart: An 8CD set focusing on persuasion and influence. Great for clearing ‘sales call reluctance’.uk . this is a transcript of a number of seminars given by Bandler and Grinder.

co.uk .saladltd.36 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .Appendix A – Exercises www.

making 3 verifiable statements followed by 1 nonverifiable statement (use transition words like as. and. Repeat exercise 1.) Describe A’s present experience.) Follow this by 3 verifiable & 2 non-verifiable. smooth pacing. 5.37 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . while. 2 verifiable & 3 non-verifiable etc. Now use the skills you’ve learned to guide A into a trance. 1981 This version ©2002Jamie Smart. 2. cycling through the three main representation systems (VAK) as you do so. start violating the principles of trance (voice speed. enjoyment and feeling good. After B & C have had several rounds. Other trance inductions you can investigate • Re-accessing a previous trance state • Overlapping representational systems • Naturally occurring trance states • Non-verbal inductions • Leverage induction • Pattern interrupts • Overload • Personal power • Stacking realities Adapted from Trance-formations by Bandler & Grinder.Pacing & Leading 1.saladltd. B & C take turns describing what must be in A’s experience. then give them positive suggestions for learning. and names it (one word). using 4 sensory-based descriptions (verifiable) followed by 1 internal description (non-verifiable. because). transitions etc. 3. but B & C limit their descriptions to what must be there in sensory experience. When person A is as deeply into the experience as before. Ask A to close their eyes. match your speaking pace to the pace of person A’s breathing. 1.co. B & C. then describe their present experience. A thinks of a situation in which they become deeply involved with a limited focus of attention. Repeat exercise 4.uk . All Rights Reserved www. 4. start including descriptions of the experience from exercise 1.

saw a very attractive person this afternoon. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. I I I I I I walked through the park this morning.38 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . 2) • • • • • • Write out the following sentences. may have had little or no impact on you. unless you are a Hindu. had a delicious desert last night.co.uk . sat in the garden yesterday. a staunch vegetarian or very very hungry. watched a great film the other day. lay in a hot bath yesterday evening. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest.Representation Systems Exercises 1) Read the following sentence & notice what effect it has: “I ate a steak yesterday” The sentence is fairly unspecified &. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. www.saladltd. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”. Contrast this with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. using the language of all five senses.

B asks A to repeat the complaint.co.saladltd. B & C observe A’s responses. “What else could this (X) mean?” or “What else could this situation mean?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. B delivers the reframe.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “In what contexts would the characteristic they’re complaining about have value?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. 3. taking the form “I’m too X. 5.39 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . 4. 2.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “What else could this (Y) mean?”. B & C) 1. A states a complaint. www. 4. taking the form “I feel X when Y happens. 3.uk . A states a complaint or issue. Context Reframe (in groups of 3. 5. B & C observe A’s responses.Reframing Content Reframe (in groups of 3. 2.” or “He’s too Y. B asks A to repeat the complaint. choose A. B & C) 1. choose A. B delivers the reframe.

co. Repeat exercise 4. ‘act as if’ you are the different characters or states as you access them. etc. When the second story is complete. interrupting the story part way through to tell a second story. Use all your hypnotic language skills to deliver suggestions to B. using tonality. When B goes into the state. with A being highly expressive. www. 3 Repeat exercise 2. finish the first story. A tells B a story with the intention of a) holding their attention & b) eliciting a certain state.40 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Again. Repeat exercise 1. 2. mimicry. Again. Be sure to include: • • • Extremes of volume Different tonalities Different facial expressions Again. Clowning is permitted. with A using characterisation. 5. setting an additional goal for rapid learning etc. A anchors it. ie.saladltd. Again. expression. anchor the state or states elicited. gestures.uk . 4. Repeat exercise 3. A & B 1. anchor the state or states elicited.Expressive Storytelling Exercises Done in pairs. anchor the state or states elicited. anchor the state or states elicited.

Today's Experiment: 1. Partly. though I must admit that I couldn't for the life of me figure out the implications of that one! :-) Fortunately. I lose the feedback and can no longer effectively "aim" my communication. test subjects responded 55% of the time to the message being conveyed through body language. Keep your attention on the object you are describing as you are describing it. If I stop listening to you the moment I open my mouth. and a staggeringly low 7% of the time to the actual words being used! Now. it occurred to me that if over 50% of listening is picking up on pure body language and energy. Similarly. I was quick to realize that I'd also been given two nostrils and one rear-end. Experimenters would attempt to convey one message with their body and/or tonality (for example "I love you"). "You're a horrible person. I did come to recognize the benefits of listening in building and healing relationships of every kind. Today's experiment is surprisingly difficult for most people when they first try it. I began to notice a curious phenomenon . (a preference which will come as no surprise to regular readers of these tips)..Daily Coaching Tip Number 249 . Yet as I studied listening more carefully. The very same people who could empathize so wonderfully with a disgruntled employee or pick up on the limiting assumptions in a client's litany of woes were utterly unable to notice when they were boring their conversation partners rigid at a dinner party.. I adapt my communication accordingly. When you are comfortable doing that. If the plane's radar only registered whenever the enemy plane was firing.July 1. A particular variation of listening that I developed for myself was what I call "wholebody" listening . Mehrabian set up studies in incongruent communication . It came as no surprise to me when I first came across the oft-quoted research of Professor Alfred Mehrabian. as I matured. you might well be able to avoid the worst of the incoming barrage. the danger with only listening when the other person is talking is that any purposeful conversation is a kind of an ongoing feedback loop – I say something to you. and a different message with their words (for example.saladltd. and based on your reaction. 2001 If you enjoy this tip.e.uk .i. www. proceed to step two.") Unsurprisingly to anyone who's ever attempted to ask directions in a foreign country or talked utter nonsense to a baby or small child. we should be able to usefully continue listening to someone even when they stop speaking.even the best and most effective listeners switched off their antennae as soon as they began to speak. but with a bit of practice it will utterly transform your communication (and your relationships!) for the better.listening with my eyes and heart as well as my ears. (or what my fellow Southern Californians call "vibe" :-).co. communication in which a person was giving off "mixed messages".41 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . motivated by my love of talking. no doubt. but you would effectively be "firing blind" when it came to your own attempts. please forward it on! I remember being told as a child that: "You were given two ears and one mouth so that you could listen twice as much as you talk". 38% of the time to the message being conveyed through tonality.. Choose any item in your immediate environment and begin to describe it aloud. Imagine you're flying a sophisticated fighter plane in the midst of a midair dogfight.

" You're ready to move on to step three when you can switch between description and story without having to re-direct your attention inwards to figure out what to say next. please send a blank e-mail with the word "subscribe" in the subject line to: subscribe@dailycoachingtip. etc. gently bring your attention back to the other person. Sometimes. Click on the link or visit our website at http://www. it is best to let your attention wander where it will.. Bonus Tip . set the intention of keeping your attention on the other person both when you are listening and when you are talking.com/ to find out more! How to Subscribe If you wish to receive the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week every Monday morning.Communicating vs.2. please send a blank e-mail with the word 'unsubscribe' in the subject line to: unsubscribe@dailycoachingtip.dailycoachingtip. you are ready to bring this skill to bear in your more important conversations and exchanges.If you enjoyed this week's tip. Now. or friend. The Coach PS . switch back and forth between describing the object aloud and telling a story about it.co. still keeping your attention at all times on the object you are describing. If you wish to unsubscribe from the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week. Choose a conversation to practice with where it would be OK if you were not particularly effluent.e. Have fun. (i.uk . you may want to consider attending our teleclass on "Creating Conversational Change". 3. 4. In these instances. learn heaps. salesperson. 2001 Michael Neill All Rights Reserved www. and keep listening! Until tomorrow. When you are engaged in the conversation.. partner. don't try this for the first time while attempting to close that million dollar sale or when trying to convince your partner that you really do love them)! Decide that for the duration of this conversation.com ©2000.com. trainer. we speak purely in order to hear ourselves think. you will practice the hidden art of "listening while talking". be they in a role as coach. "This ring is gold with little knobbly bits on it and it was made by a jeweler named John Scott in Camden Lock and it's round and it has some dimpled impressions in the gold and my wife has an identical ring with diamonds in the dimples that I got her for our first anniversary and it has a bit of dirt which has collected between the knobbly bits.42 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . ex. When you can keep your attention firmly on the other person and still make intelligent conversation. "Thinking Aloud" Not all talking is for the purpose of communication. If you notice your attention wandering or you become aware that you've "gone inside" your head.saladltd.

By the time you finish listening to the recording of this three-day intensive workshop with Jamie Smart. Price: Download Bundle : £77. The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence & Persuasion for the Salesman.43 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .00 Click Here to Order Now Click Here to Order Now (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www. then lead people where you want to take them Get people to tell you exactly what you need to do to persuade them Use hypnotic influencing skills to press their "buy this now" buttons Get the 6 principles of influence to work for you.co.Ethical Influence with NLP Manual. The Top 25 Influence Tips.saladltd. • • • BUY NOW to receive this AMAZING OFFER: 1. and use it to attract more of what you want into your life. Ethical Influence with NLP Audio (CD or Download) 2.More Information salad the influence collection “Discover How You Can Become Irresistibly Influential.uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www.uk .00 CD Bundle : £107. you will be able to: • • • • Build rapport in moments. Before Your Competition Do” Ethical Influence with NLP You may have heard that NLP is particularly powerful in the areas of communication and influence. FREE BONUS of 4 E-Books . You may be aware of some of the astonishing results that NLP can deliver.saladltd. & stop them being used against you! Turn hesitation into motivation and take decisive action. Now is your opportunity to harness its power for yourself. rather than against you Captivate people’s attention and lead them into an ideal persuasion state Use the secrets of subliminal persuasion ethically. Irresistible Influence Cards 3.co.

44 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Fun Way You Can MASSIVELY Increase Your Influence Power” Irresistible Influence Cards are geared towards winning business.salad the influence collection “The Fast. these cards will help you greatly to do it!!! Wouldn't it be nice if there was a fun. Jamie has been using the patterns of persuasion and influence for years to get great results. he is taking the most powerful patterns he's found and is choosing 52 of them for the Irresistible Influence CardsTM.95 Click Here To Order Now Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www.co. with Salad.” Owen Fitzpatrick . enjoyable way of mastering language patterns? Now there is. products or services. Close more deals.saladltd. Become a far more influential communicator.Master Trainer of NLP Price: Irresistible Influence Cards (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) £19.saladltd. and bringing people around to your way of thinking. make more sales. Get people to want to do what you want them to do. Now. They are focused on discovering people's wants. needs and desires and then using language in the most influential way to get them to buy your ideas.co. and persuade more people. Have a blast learning to be irresistibly influential “Put simply: if you want to become really good with language.uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www. By using these cards. you will: • • • • • Learn the patterns of persuasion.uk .

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Acknowledgements I’ve been fortunate to learn from a number of great NLP Trainers and other innovative thinkers and teachers.co. Thanks to anyone whose efforts have made their way into this work.uk . mission-critical business projects and change programmes. When he isn’t helping other people get what they want.co. Jamie is author of The NLP Tip. and applying what he’s learned. he found that individual change is the key to collective change. Jamie is an NLP Master Practitioner and is licensed by Richard Bandler and the Society of NLP as a Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP). as well as the creator of Ericksonian Hypnosis CardsTM and many other products. He spent much of the nineties leading large. he likes going for long walks in the woods. an e-zine which goes to thousands of people around the world each week (available from www.saladltd. This fascination led him to NLP.About the Author Jamie Smart is the Managing Director of Salad Seminars Ltd. as well as the principal trainer. listening to music and reading. He lives in Leicestershire (UK).saladltd.uk). and he has spent from 1996 to the present day learning from the finest teachers and materials. Specific thanks to… • • • • • • • • • Richard Bandler John Grinder Joseph Riggio Eric Robbie Jo Cooper Peter Seal Timothy Leary Marianne Williamson Michael Breen • Sháá Wasmund • • • • • • • • • Robert Dilts Sid Jacobson Jonathan Altfeld Robert Anton Wilson Ian Watson Michael Neill John La Valle Paul McKenna Christina Hall www. In the process. and became fascinated with helping people achieve the results they want.46 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .

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