The Language Of Influence Manual

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Table of Contents What is Language?................................................................... 3 Persuasion & Influence?............................................................ 4 Is it Ethical?............................................................................ 5 What is NLP?........................................................................... 6 The Fundamentals....................................................................7 Presuppositions .......................................................................8 Rapport.................................................................................. 9 Sensory Acuity.......................................................................10 Representational Systems....................................................... 11 Sensory Words.......................................................................12 States...................................................................................13 Anchoring..............................................................................14 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................15 Powerful Language ................................................................ 16 Voice Control......................................................................... 20 Stories..................................................................................21 What is a Metaphor?............................................................... 22 More About Metaphors............................................................ 23 Tips for Storytelling................................................................ 24 Tips for Using Hypnotic Language ............................................ 25 Criteria................................................................................. 26 Instant Replay (Decision Strategies)......................................... 27 Asking for Miracles................................................................. 28 Dealing with Objections...........................................................29 Stacking Benefits................................................................... 31 Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence...........................................32 Questions..............................................................................33 Bibliography.......................................................................... 34 Reading & Resources.............................................................. 35 Appendix A – Exercises........................................................... 36 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................37 More Information................................................................... 43 ...........................................................................................45 About the Author....................................................................46 Acknowledgements.................................................................46

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©2004 Jamie Smart

What is Language?
Here’s a definition: “A systematic means of communicating ideas or feelings by the use of conventionalized signs, sounds, gestures, or marks having understood meanings.” – The Merriam Webster Dictionary Online The above definition is typical of the dictionary definitions of language, and makes a valiant attempt to encapsulate what language is for and what it does. Yet language has other functions and powers far beyond the relatively prosaic communication tool described above. Human beings perceive the world through their five senses (sight, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting), and record those sensings in maps or models of the world in their nervous systems. We do not experience the world directly, but rather through our sense and the maps and models we make of those sensings. Language is a meta-map; a map of our internal maps and models. Like our other internal maps and models, our linguistic map is subject to change. The language a person uses is a reflection of their maps and models of reality, and reveals aspects of those maps and models which the person themselves is not aware of. When their models change, their experience of reality changes. Language is a lever for changing those models, and thus changing a person’s reality. You can use language to change your (or someone else’s) reality.

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©2004 Jamie Smart

Persuasion & Influence?
Persuasion and influence is the process of getting someone else to want to do, think or believe what you want them to. Whether you want someone to accept your ideas, your suggestion or your products / services, persuasion and influencing skills are the key. Persuasion & influence are not… • • • • Bullying Pressuring Tricking Deceiving

Persuasion & influence are • • • • Elegant Smooth Effective Often undetectable

Influences on this training This training draws on a number of different sources. The main source is Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), probably the most powerful communications technology in the world (see ‘What is NLP?’) Other sources include the following: • • • Ericksonian Hypnosis Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence Chris Tomasulo’s ‘Covert Communication’ Model

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©2004 Jamie Smart

don’t! While it is possible to get people to do things against their best interests. pleasure and fulfilment in your life than you ever thought possible. adventure. This choice never disappoints! www. If in doubt. happier more fulfilling lives than pessimists. and the quickest way to get others to believe in you is to believe in yourself. giving you a happy and fulfilling life.Is it Ethical? The skills you will learn are neither ethical nor unethical – they are. There are many excellent resources available for developing your self-belief – we suggest you use them. we suggest that you choose beliefs that support and help you. excitement.co. that you follow these principles when you use them… Best interests Ensure that you have your own best interests and the best interests of the person you are persuading at heart. they won’t make the same mistake twice. services or physical products.uk -5- ©2004 Jamie Smart . one thing is fairly certain: if you do not believe in it. The thinker can think almost anything – the prover proves what the thinker thinks by filtering out information that doesn’t agree with it. So make sure that you believe in whatever you want others to believe in.saladltd. We suggest. Choose to believe that you can have more happiness. For this reason. neither will they. It has been shown again and again that optimists live longer. and they’ll tell lots of other people not to either. Choose to be an optimist. fun. Einstein once said that the main question facing humanity was “Is the universe a friendly place?” We suggest that you decide to believe it is. Believe in yourself It is an old adage that ‘people buy people’. money. therefore. then either change your belief or change your product. however. Believe in your product / service / idea Whether you are persuading someone of the value of your ideas. If you don’t. If you know that what you want them to do is going to be good for them and make them happy / healthy / wealthy then go for it. very powerful. Believe in the universe You can think of the mind as having two parts: a thinker and a prover.

The term NLP is used to describe both the approach to modelling that they used. and the powerful models of communication and change they created (and have continued to develop. taught and changed (reprogrammed. NLP has evolved as an innovative technology enabling the practitioner to organise information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once inconceivable. NLP is a methodology based on the overall operational presupposition that all behaviour has a structure…and that structure can be modelled.saladltd. www.What is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. Linguistic The verbal & non-verbal language symbols with which we code & transmit meaning. learned. to look at life as a rare and unprecedented opportunity to learn. Programming The ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to achieve certain results. In Whispering in the Wind (2001).” Neuro The nervous system. Richard Bandler describes NLP as follows: “NLP is an attitude. characterised by the sense of curiousity and adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody and the kinds of things worth knowing. including the brain and the five senses.) The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills. when they set out to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communication and change.co. Grinder & St.uk -6- ©2004 Jamie Smart .) It has been used to model some of the best persuaders and influencers in the world.Clair describe it thus: “(NLP) is a modelling technology whose specific subject matter is the set of differences that make the difference between the performance of geniuses and that of average performers in the same field or activity” In the Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual (1999).

“Intelligence is the ability to have a fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it. Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you are moving in the right direction (or otherwise. and you tend to get what you focus on. Well-formed outcomes are an important tool for ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life. 2. 3.The Fundamentals The fundamentals of influence from an NLP perspective are straightforward: 1. Know whether you’re getting what you want (Sensory Acuity) Once you know where you want to go. expecting a different result. you need the flexibility to change what you are doing in order to get a different result.) Rapport is the process of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind.saladltd.) 4.” When you notice that you are not getting what you want. Know what you want (Outcome / Direction) One of the key NLP questions is ‘What do you want?’. Adjust what you’re doing accordingly (Behavioural Flexibility) “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again. Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport) “The map is not the territory.co.” You must start where the person you wish to influence is (the ‘Present State’.” www. you need to be able to notice (using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there. The human nervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking.uk -7- ©2004 Jamie Smart .

They are not ‘true’.uk -8- ©2004 Jamie Smart . There is no failure.co. only feedback There is a solution to every problem The one with the most flexibility of thought and action is most likely to succeed You can have whatever you want (if you help enough other people to get what they want) There is enough of everything to go round People buy valued results • • • www. • • • • • • The map is not the territory People make the best choice available to them at the time The meaning of the communication is the response you get. but can be very useful for successful communication.saladltd.Presuppositions The following list is a selection of presuppositions or assumptions which have proved useful for persuasion & influence.

) Try matching: • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Half body Head tilt • • • • Vocal qualities Key phrases Predicates Eyeblinks • • • • Facial expression Energy level Breathing Anything else… A simple test for rapport is to make some simple movement. Rapport can be established on many levels: • speaking the same • wearing similar clothing language • breathing at the same rate • supporting the same team • matching body language • having a common interest • matching voice tone Rapport is a starting point for successful communication and influence.saladltd. like scratching your nose.) Matching and mirroring often develop spontaneously. you can build rapport by ‘cross-over mirroring’ (eg. Matching will develop rapport.Rapport Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone’s unconscious mind. and the rapport built up with techniques such as matching and mirroring can give the impression of a deep sense of connection and trust (the basis of the ‘we like people who are like us’ school of influence. they follow.’ It is more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with. www.uk -9- ©2004 Jamie Smart . NB – Choose low risk situations to experiment with at first.co. The basic rapport test is “if you lead. and are a good sign that you are in rapport with someone.”  Challenge: Discover how many different ways you can develop rapport with people in your day to day life. mismatching will reduce it. Matching their breathing rate with your speech rate. When mirroring isn’t appropriate. then you’ve developed rapport and led their behaviour. If they make a similar movement within the next minute. and meet them at ‘their map of the world.

say “Shut the &*!% up!” inside your head.Sensory Acuity “Watch and listen!” This is one of the main ‘secrets’ to becoming highly skilled at NLP.co. as it is one of the keys for ‘making guesses’ about how your suggestions are being received. in such phenomena as: • • • • • • • • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Head tilt Vocal qualities (tone. You’ll see and hear more! If your internal dialogue interrupts your awareness.uk .10 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Notice how quickly it’s possible for you to begin seeing and hearing more and more that was previously invisible. rate. volume etc) Key phrases Sensory predicates Eye-blinks Pupil dilation Rapid eye movement Facial expression Facial symmetry / asymmetry • • • • • • • • • • • • Lower lip size Energy level Breathing rate Breathing patterns Skin colour Muscle tonus Pore dilation Sentence length Non-verbal utterances Involuntary movements Metaphors Anything else you can perceive! You can train your senses to perceive more and more of what is happening in the other person – distinctions that would previously have been ‘invisible’.   www. Visual acuity is particularly important in the practice of hypnosis. placing the tip of your tongue just behind your upper front teeth and letting your jaw drop slightly. relaxing your throat muscles.saladltd. Tip: Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply. Challenge: Choose a different area of behaviour from the list above to pay attention to every day. The processes taking place inside a person’s mind are reflected to a greater or lesser extent on the outside.” Repeat as necessary.

Hearing. it is translated into corresponding sensory representations (or maps) that constitute a likeness or synthesis of the original perceptual input.Representational Systems According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary to represent something is to call up in the mind by description. www."reality” and out perceptions of “reality” are not the same…The Map is not the Territory. The sensory modalities by which people encode.uk .. These intuitions will give you additional choices as a communicator. it can build a sense of rapport. This may seem obvious. Richard Bandler and John La Valle offer the following description: “Human beings experience themselves and the world they live in through the primary modalities of the five senses…Seeing. it is possible to get intuitions about which representational systems are in consciousness at a given point in time. Smelling and Tasting. By paying attention to the things people are doing and saying. Clues to which representational systems are being used to process can be found by paying attention to: • • • • • • • Spoken language (see ‘Sensory Words’) Eye movements Hand gestures Breathing Head position Voice tone Voice pace If you tell people a story about yourself which closely matches their experience. yet very important to remember. In the Neuro Hypnotic TM Repatterning Manual (2000). portrayal or imagination. organise. Feeling. store.11 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Representational systems (rep systems) are the means by which human beings are able to do this.” When people are ‘thinking’.saladltd.co. and which ones are out of consciousness.. they are using representational systems to do so. As sensory input is internally processed (re-presented). and attach meaning to perceptual input are referred to as REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS.

Below are some examples of words that indicate a particular rep system – for an exhaustive list. light smell. grip.12 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .Sensory Words One of the easiest ways for you to get a sense of the rep system someone is favouring at a point in time is through their language. Contrast the sentence “I ate a steak yesterday” with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. sweet You will also notice people using turns of phrase that indicate certain preferences. If you mismatch their rep systems. view. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”. it creates more trust and rapport. light. sour. When you tell stories. hold. talk. stink. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. look. tasty.” www. bland. As you become more aware of the ‘sensory specific’ words that people use. ring. salty. look at it from my point of view It feels good to me. tone. clear Feel. handle.uk . perspective. you will begin to become more sensitised to the rep system they are most aware* of using to process at that moment. tell. sharp. rotten. click. sweet Taste. odour. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. we just clicked. it will diminish the level of trust and rapport. focus. light. tangy. essence. for instance: • • • • • That rings a bell. you can use sensory words & descriptions to get the person more ‘into’ what you are telling them.co.saladltd. scent. Visual (see) Auditory (hear) Kinaesthetic (feel) Olfactory (smell) Gustatory (taste) See. clear hear. heavy. hang. do you hear what I’m saying I see what you mean. sound. see Appendix C. say. get a handle on this I smell a rat Just give me a flavour of this When you use language from the same rep system(s) that the person you are communicating with is using. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages.

When they do. Similarly. Your listeners will pick this up & respond to it. When you imagine someone who is feeling ecstatic. body and mind.co. there is typically a state associated with that problem. they are likely to look different to someone who is feeling down. External Signs There are usually external signals that accompany a particular state. The following words can be thought of as descriptions of certain states: • • • • • Love Happiness Confidence Sadness Joy • • • • • Creativity Flow Nervousness Amusement Affection • • • • • Fear Focus Comfort Relaxation Trance Each of these words describes a different experience for each person.saladltd. www.States States are configurations of physiology and neurology. Eliciting States If you want someone else to access a great state (Eg. volume) and many other external signals. For this reason.13 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . the ability to alter your own or someone else’s state is very useful. Tone. go there first yourself. If you are telling a story where a character was experiencing pleasure. Problems & Solutions When people are experiencing a specific problem. when a person finds a solution.uk . it too is usually ‘wrapped’ in a state. Excitement). or experiences the resource they need to provide that solution. you can anchor it (see ‘Anchoring’). These differences are also likely to be evident in voice analogues (eg. feel that pleasure yourself & it will come out in the story.

it is important to a) ensure that you have a powerful example of the state to work with b) anchor in as many rep systems as possible c) set the anchor just before the state peaks d) fire the anchor accurately.uk . an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation.saladltd. The effect of a certain type of handshake) visual (eg. Anchors can operate in any representation system. Setting anchors Anchoring is particularly useful for helping people to recreate certain states. In order to get a ‘strong’ anchor for the state. The taste of your favourite food) Once again. For instance. sounds etc associated with the word lion.co. The word ‘chocolate’ will trigger different associations. the special way a certain person has of saying your name) tactile (eg. The way people respond to certain items of clothing) olfactory (eg. with the exception that it is often possible to set an anchor with a single trial. It is conceptually similar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie. bells and salivating dogs). the word ‘lion’ will immediately trigger images. These words are anchors. . Precision counts! When doing hypnosis. The effect of smelling fresh lemons) gustatory (eg. Challenge: Practice setting and firing anchors with the people you meet from day to day. your voice is a rich source of powerful anchors. anchor it. Some examples: • • • • • tonal (eg. Choose a different rep system each day and notice how many naturally occurring anchors you can find.Anchoring An anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. Tip: When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing something you want to have more of.14 ©2004 Jamie Smart   www.

saladltd. you may begin to notice that there is a mixture of things that are ‘true’ and things that are more ‘speculative’. and you may be wondering what I’m going to tell you about today… because we’ve all come here for a reason.uk . In NLP. www. but as you practice it more and more. it is possible to move from saying mostly things which are ‘verifiably true’ to saying mostly things which are ‘made up’ without the listener(s) noticing the transition. making statements (for instance) about the current ‘reality’ for an individual or group before directing their attention somewhere else. there is great value in meeting them at their ‘map of the world’ before you start the process of leading them somewhere new. but as you look more closely at the way the statements are structured. For example… Every Friday at 7am. this process is referred to as ‘pacing and leading’. without even planning it consciously. and it’s early. you’ll begin to find yourself doing it spontaneously.Pacing & Leading Whenever you set out to influence someone. so I know you’re going to be interested in helping me build mine etc… ” On the face of it. it’s Friday morning. The overall shape / structure is as follows: Pace – pace – pace . and the reason is to build our businesses. I go to a business networking group (BNI) where I get the opportunity to do a 60 second ‘commercial’ for services that I offer.co.15 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . this is a fairly ordinary intro. ‘True’ – Pacing ‘Speculative’ – Leading • We’re here • you may be wondering what • it’s Friday morning I’m going to tell you about today • it’s early • I know you’re going to be • we’ve come here for a reason interested in helping me build • the reason is to build our mine businesses When pacing and leading is done elegantly. I will often start my commercial with something like the following: “We’re here at BNI.lead Pace – pace – lead – lead Pace – lead – lead – lead Lead – lead – lead – lead… (+an occasional pace) Pacing and leading often sounds ‘clunky’ at first.

make it into a command. shift in voice tone.” or “I think the time you’ve spent on this is a sign now that we can explore some exciting opportunities. it gets attributed to someone else. I was excited by the prospect. I was really made up!” Analogue marking You can enhance embedded commands by marking them out with some other behaviour (Eg. NB – make sure you have rapport before you use these patterns. As soon as I realised the power of quotes. I said to myself “Start using quotes in everything you do. While people often believe they are in conscious control of the decisions they make. raised eyebrows.” or “I remember last time you decided to give me a pay rise. Language is processed by your unconscious.” Embedded commands You can embed a command in a larger sentence – just think of what you want someone to do.16 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .) www. you know. it gets processed by the unconscious.co. When you put a command in quotes. sounds. The following language patterns are some examples of how ‘indirect hypnosis’ can be applied to gently persuade people in many different situations. they make pictures. bypassing the conscious mind. As people listen to words. (Eg. I really hope my time off will give me a chance to look at the high rise apartment being built next door. Your ability to use language skilfully with intention will become one of the most powerful influencing ‘tools’ you possess. You can even mark out different words in one or more sentences (Eg. “When I first decided to. Quotes Milton Erickson used to say “Use quotes to tell people what to do. then create a larger sentence that can contain it. the unconscious has much more to do with it than they think. they knew what they were talking about.saladltd. When Bandler & Grinder said “Learn to use quotes immediately”. but not by the conscious. tastes & smells in order to make sense of the words. It is possible to communicate directly with a person’s unconscious mind. learn to embed commands. feelings.Powerful Language Language is one of the most profound influences on the way human beings shape their reality.uk .” When you put something in quotes. a touch etc).

When someone adds a tag question. Negatives are not processed by the nervous system in the same way that they are linguistically (eg. isn’t it. and linkage is one of the most powerful. and you’ll create a smooth flow for the listener.) Tag questions ‘Tag questions’ are the name for the small phrases like “isn’t it”.co. And it’s useful to be able to make things tough to disagree with.17 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . you can get immediate feedback on how interested they will be (see the first line of this paragraph. because that would be unfair. because we’ve hardly started to explore it. and. can’t you.Powerful Language (continued…) Negation Negation allows you to say outrageously overt things without taking responsibility for them. they will be much more likely to listen to what follows. If you frame it as a question. Use words such as as.uk . because it’s nice to listen to someone who’s easy to listen to. because we’ve got a lot more info to get through. “aren’t they” etc that people sometimes add to the end of sentences. I’m sure you can think of lots of situations where tag questions could be useful. it makes the sentence difficult to disagree with.” or “I wouldn’t ask you to only focus on our strengths. because it allows you to create a smooth flow in your language while the other person becomes entranced with what you are saying. “Don’t start thinking about how much fun you’re going to have with this. If you combine the tag question with a slow head nod and command tone down (see Voice Control). The command “Don’t think of a purple hippopotamus” is difficult to obey.) So if you’re going to use them. (Eg. doesn’t it. because etc to create linkage between words & phrases. Linkage There are a number of useful patterns to learn. doesn’t it. it becomes almost irresistible. while. If you use a headline (just like a newspaper does) that contains a valuable benefit for the person you are influencing. is it not.”) Benefit headlining Would you like to know how you can get people to pay 75% more attention to what you say? Put a headline in front of it. use them to send someone somewhere useful. Hooray! Don’t start thinking about how useful this could be yet.saladltd. www.

One of the things you’ll really start to become aware of as you continue to practice these more and more is just how much fun you can have with them! www. • Scope – Ambiguous words and phrases sometimes are part of a scope ambiguity where it is unclear which parts of a sentence an adjective applies to. then construct a sentence that presupposes it. “I spoke to the clever women and men.” It is unclear whether the word clever applies to both the women & the men. As eye right this ewe can sea watt eye mean. The unconscious will process the marked out element of what you are saying as a separate communication.co. such as facial expressions. then do it! By now. There are four kinds of ambiguity in the English language: • Phonological – meaning two words that sound the same but mean different things. eyebrow movements. a gesture etc. think of what you want your influencee to accept as fact. And learning ambiguities can be fun. Merely choose the covert communication you wish to mark out. and using ambiguity can induce mild confusion. Presupposition One of things that you’ll begin to notice as you start to use become more aware of language is the power of presuppositions. voice tone change. as well as allowing you to say things that can process in multiple ways.Powerful Language (continued…) Ambiguity English is a very ambiguous language. using any perceivable behaviour. And influencing skills can be enjoyable. you probably can begin to see how this could be used. Analogue marking You can mark out phrases in your communication. You can stack presuppositions to make them even more difficult to resist. • Syntactic – Because persuading persuaders can be tricky.saladltd. outside conscious awareness.18 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Eg. To use presuppositions.uk . A presupposition is something that must be accepted as true for the sentence to make sense. • Punctuation – Where two phrases are combined to make a run-on sentence can be strange to hear at first. or just the women.

Tip: Get a ringbinder with a section for each of these patterns then practice writing out examples pertinent to your influence goals. Back before you started this training.uk . You will be amazed at how powerful this will be. If you are in rapport with someone.co. but with others. I might say “With some people I’ll just get a feeling that I can ask ‘Are you ready to do a deal’. they will respond unconsciously to a question embedded in a larger structure. but now. Use them to get people saying yes from the outset.” When I say the ‘Are you ready to do a deal’ bit.saladltd. Rhetorical questions Do you like to feel good? Rhetorical questions are questions that don’t require an answer. When you imagine yourself six months from now.19 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Time You can use language to shift people’s awareness through time. in the future. you may start to become curious about the many ways that you can. I watch for unconscious responses (eg. you can look back to the present and realise just how far you’ve come. having really learned how to use these patterns skilfully. For example. they have more questions to ask. if I want to know if someone is ready to close.  www. but generate ‘yes’ responses. as you consider just how much you’ve learned. you may not have believed that was so.Powerful Language (continued…) Embedded questions An embedded question is merely a question embedded in a larger structure. start to become more comfortable using language in this way. as though it was asked directly. head nod) – then I know whether they’re ready or not.

you will begin to recognise the differences in the ways other people speak. While matching their voice analogues can be powerful for building rapport.20 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Level pitch  gets processed as a statement.uk . Descending pitch  gets processed as a command.saladltd. You can practice learning to control & vary… • • • • • • • Tone Pitch Rate Rhythm Volume Timbre and many other voice ‘analogues’ As you start to listen more closely to other people speak. Which do you think is most useful to use when making suggestions to the people you wish to influence? www.co. Your ability to speak with flexibility and control can have dramatic results.Voice Control Your voice is probably your most powerful tool as a persuader. there are some other key features which are also good to know: Command tone down The pitch & tone of voice you use toward the end of a sentence determines at a deep unconscious level what ‘kind’ of sentence it is: • • • Rising pitch  gets processed as a question.

” I started to think about it. you just never thought about them that way before. they tend to let down their conscious shields when you start telling a story.Stories Stories and metaphors are some of the most powerful tools for influence and persuasion.  www. When you tell someone a story. decisiveness) • Act as camouflage for nifty language (Eg.” I started to make a list of all the experiences I’d had that could be told as a story. Now I use them all the time! Stories are like gestures or eye movements – they’re there all the time. it just depends how you look at it.21 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . stories you’ve heard: all of these count. a story about someone else who had that problem or need and had it solved will be very powerful – use this fact to streamline your persuasion. There were hundreds of them. but my partner said to me “Everything in your life is a story. Better yet. it’s just a matter of noticing them. they look to their own experience to make sense of it. Events that have happened to you or your friends.saladltd. Tip: Start making a list of the stories you already know. and it mentioned metaphor and storytelling. When someone has a certain problem or need. then I said to myself “You know lots of stories. films you’ve seen. You can use stories to… • Pace people’s experience • Put people at their ease • Amplify a potential risk of not making a certain decision. I thought “I don’t know any stories”. an objection) • Tell them how / what to think about something • Get them to access certain resources (eg. I was reading a book about using NLP in the workplace.co.uk . embedded commands) • Get people to drop their guard • Get them to imagine themselves enjoying your proposition • Etc etc etc I remember when I first started studying NLP. • Captivate their attention • Change the meaning of something (Eg.

a problem) Tell them how to think about something Induce trance in your audience Install strategies Do covert rehearsal Disassociate people Change beliefs Do covert changework & healing And generally act as great camouflage www.” For the purposes of this training. decisiveness) Induce age regression (take them back to childhood) Captivate their attention Speak to the unconscious mind Illustrate a point Grab your audience’s attention Get people to take off their armour & overturn objections Reframe / change the meaning of something (eg. and pherein. It refers to a particular set of linguistic processes whereby aspects of one object are ‘carried over’ or transferred to another object. In Metaphor (1972). Terence Hawkes defined metaphor thus: “The word metaphor comes from the Greek word metaphora derived from meta meaning ‘over’. the word metaphor will be used to refer to all of the following: • • • • • • • Metaphors Similes Stories Anecdotes Tall tales Factual explanations Jokes Stories are one of the most powerful resources there is.saladltd. You can use stories to… • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Put people at their ease.What is a Metaphor? A metaphor can be described as something which stands for something else.22 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk . so that the second object is spoken of as if it were the first.co. build rapport & pace their experience Elicit states & gather resources (eg. ‘to carry’.

is unconscious explains why metaphors can be so powerful. associative.) The fact that the search for references. people watching a film will often identify with one of the characters. putting themselves into the protagonists shoes. While the conscious mind is logical. a clear and obvious comparison has been made. The unconscious mind is always involved. Metaphors take advantage of the associative ability of the unconscious to communicate a lot of information quickly (& sometimes covertly).More About Metaphors The human mind can be modelled as having both a conscious & an unconscious aspect. This invites us to focus on certain qualities. while ignoring other aspects: Qualities Brought Into Focus Beauty Fragrance Thorniness Alive Transiency Qualities Ignored Chemical reactions Pupil dilation Heartache etc • • • • • • • • While in this case. They do this by inviting us to map across certain qualities of the metaphor (Y) to some other situation (X). analytical & sequential. For example: My love (X) is like a red red rose (Y). your unconscious is intuitive.saladltd.23 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . they do what influence expert Chris Tomasulo calls a ‘me too’ .they unconsciously search through their own experience to find a personal reference for what you’re saying (this is one of the reasons why people often respond to a story by telling a similar one of their own. For instance. the ‘meaning-making’ function. Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotherapist) would tell stories which his clients would then apply (unconsciously) to the problems & challenges they faced in their lives. He knew that when you tell someone a story.uk . & given to creative leaps. www. it has been noticed that people do this ‘mapping across’ whether a comparison is invited or not.co.

g) Write out stories to tune them & ‘wire them in’.Tips for Storytelling Here are a few tips to help you enrich your storytelling: a) Make a list of stories & practice telling them to people.24 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . k) Build movement & drama using suspense. If you don’t like the response. j) Choose stories that will be relevant / interesting to your audience. f) Use rich.co. change ‘direction’.uk . middle & end. l) Use your body & voice expressively to intensify the emotions in your story. mystery. shock or surprise. c) Have a communication goal in mind for the person/people you are telling the story to. i) Use symbols to activate deep cultural meanings. e) Have a beginning. www. sensory language to activate all five senses. b) Stories from your personal experience generally have more impact than borrowed ones. d) Pay attention as you speak & notice the response you’re getting.saladltd. h) Use detail to engage people & make them enter fully into your ‘reality’.

7. End your suggestions with a descending voice tone for increased authority. a raised eyebrow etc) to send commands to a person’s unconscious mind. Play makes learning fast and fun. Write out examples of language patterns to wire them into your neurology at a deep level. Establish & maintain rapport. www. People respond to emotions. 9. Set a goal for your communication (E. 2.25 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk .saladltd.g. 8. for the person to access their resources. 6. so your unconscious can take care of it. Then allow your unconscious to help reflect this in your suggestions. relax easily. learn quickly. be successful etc). 3. so go there first yourself. 4. so use games to increase your learning speed. Use sensory-rich language. Then you can become curious about just how quickly your unconscious will begin to surprise you by allowing these patterns to emerge in your language spontaneously! 5. Start speaking even if you don't know what you're going to say to complete it your sentence.co. a touch.Tips for Using Hypnotic Language 1. ‘Analogue mark' key phrases (E. Word selection is an unconscious function.g. lowered voice tone. with a gesture.

saladltd. helping people. These are referred to as criteria. ask “What has to happen for you to get that?” For example… Q: A: Q: A: How do you know when you’ve got freedom?” I just get a great feeling inside.co. because the context is different. and says “flexibility. If a person is buying insurance. Many people will tell a related story about themselves that reveals their criteria. USE THEIR EXACT CRITERIA WORDS & PHRASES (in a subtle way) to let them know you understand. right next to the airport. then those specific words are anchors for their criteria in that context. freedom. such as: • • “What’s important to you about [context]?” “What do you look for in a [context]?” Once you have someone’s criteria. how do you elicit peoples’ criteria? The first way is just to listen. money. At a high level. doing a good job.26 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . security.Criteria Every person has things which are important to them. The third way is to use specific questions to elicit someone’s criteria in a context. When you want to let the person know how what you’re offering or suggesting gives them benefit. Ask a person “What is important to you in your work?” and they will tell you what their criteria are for their work (Eg. we refer to these as values (eg. and you are likely to get different criteria. but people also have ‘values’ within a given context. and you’ll hear them jump out (“We went to Greece last year & the place we stayed was so CONVENIENT. www. So. Let them know how what you’re offering satisfies their criteria. What has to happen for you to get that? I need to know that I can make my own decisions. If they go ‘inside’. A person’s criteria in an influence situation are their ‘hot buttons’ within that context.) Ask the same person what is important to them when choosing somewhere to live. portability and reliability” are what’s most important to them. Criteria are context-dependent.uk .”) The second way is to tell stories that refer to your criteria in the context. you can unpack them by asking someone “How do you know when you’ve got [criteria]?” They’ll give you information about their process or equation that allows them to know they’ve got that criteria. adventure).

NB: It is important to elicit the strategy they used for something they are happy with. then structure your communication accordingly. Want to know how you can find out how to persuade someone to make a decision in your favour? First. [wait for confirmation] How did you decide that?” At this point WATCH & LISTEN as they run you through their decision strategy.co.Instant Replay (Decision Strategies) Human beings are very patterned.27 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . To find what someone’s decision strategy is in a given context.uk . Things to pay attention to include: • • • • • Sensory language Criteria Number & content of the steps Gestures Eye movements Once you know what the strategy is. www. you can structure your persuasion process in the same way. find out how they make that sort of decision. every time you think of it. and most people make important decisions in the same way every time.saladltd. just ask how they did it last time… “I’d like you to think of one of the times you made this sort of decision and. you know it was a good decision. The process a person uses for making a decision is their ‘decision strategy’.

He briefly accessed a certain state then said “I’d have to get something I could use to remain calm in difficult situations. I had never met him before. the person has to imagine getting to the end of the session & being delighted (which is just where I want them) then gives me some criteria for getting there. where the session is (to some extent) an opportunity for them to demonstrate the services they are offering. and managed to get an hour with him.” He had already shown me how he accessed that state. then close the deal! www.Asking for Miracles One of my favourite ways of persuading someone when there is limited time is to get in rapport & then ask the following question: “What would have to have happened by the end of this session for you to say ‘Jamie. I once used this approach with the VP for Sales of a blue-chip company. then I watched & listened. so it was fairly straightforward for me to get him back into it.28 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . anchor it. I want you to come & work with me & my team?’” In order to answer the question. This approach can be particularly useful for people offering professional services.uk .co.saladltd. I asked him the above question.

and you have a choice about when to deal with them. Unconsciously. I’ve taught this method to a number of people. Now. They tell you about what your influence subject is thinking. so they disassociate themselves from their objection.29 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . “Some people say ‘oooohhhh that’s so much money’ but I know that you appreciate the value that you’re going to get from this.Dealing with Objections The idea of objections is a natural part of the persuasion process. eg. then defuse them with a whiny voice. no-one wants to associate themselves with the whiny voice. and some of them say (hear this in a really unpleasant tone) – “I can’t imagine myself using that silly tone of voice when I talk to my customers” but I know that you can already appreciate just how powerful this is going to be for you.  Challenge: Identify the main objections you get and practice stating them in a whiny / bad tonality voice. for instance).” TM It’s as simple as that.co. Allow yourself to start to identify in advance the objections your influence subject is likely to have.saladltd. NB – This is one place where bad tonality is really important – this method of inoculating against objections relies on it.uk . www. & can give you information about their needs. or… • after they arise Dealing with objections before they arise The great advantage of dealing with objections before they arise is… they never arise! Here’s how you do it: • Predict the objection or objections that your influencee is most likely to have. You can deal with objections… • before they arise. then either… • Deal with it in advance using the OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURES detailed below. Then build your intuition by guessing what objections you will get from an individual and use this approach to inoculate against them. or… • State the objection in an unpleasant tonality (whining.

what if you don’t train your people and they stay. It’s much easier to influence someone when they are in a safe space! • Reframing – When you reframe someone’s objection. you change it’s meaning.30 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . if someone says “it’s too expensive” you can say “I understand you think it’s too expensive”) Find the intent & gather information. If not. giving their reasons.” I’ll say “If money were no object. I once heard the objection “I’m worried – What if I train my people and then they leave. Choose the one of the countermeasures and apply it. can we go ahead with the deal?”) If price isn’t the real objection. • Metaphor – A metaphor can be a powerful way to overturn an objection. what benefits would you get from coming on this course?” This gives them a safe space to imagine coming on it and feel good. re-establish rapport through matching & mirroring. Apply OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM. 2) 3) 4) OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM Here are some of the most powerful countermeasures to use once you have identified a genuine objection: • Safe Space – Get them to imagine a future where the objection doesn’t apply. www.” The response: “Even worse. Gather the information you need to help them solve their problem.Dealing with objections after they arise If an objection does arise. If you are.saladltd. here’s a meta-pattern you can use to deal with it: 1) Check that you’re in rapport. then say “I can’t afford it.” Find a way to change the meaning of someone’s objection. establish whether or not it’s the real objection (Eg. great. they’ll tell you what it really is. Tell them a story about someone else who had that objection & overcame it. “If we can resolve this cost issue. Pace the objection (Eg.co.uk . Metaphor can be a powerful reframing tool. Also. People will sometimes express interest in one of my courses. Find the positive intent behind the objection.

then communicate it to them. Many of the tools and techniques in this training will help you to smooth the passage. Ideally. there are also what Chris Tomasulo refers to as ‘hidden wants & needs’.uk . needs. but benefits & anti-benefits provide the motivation. it is either because you haven’t stacked up the benefits.saladltd.31 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . they are very powerful in influencing someone’s decisions. address them before they ever get a chance to cause you problems. It is your job as a persuader to identify the person’s problems. Simple enough. www. but they’re there.co. or because you haven’t addressed the hidden needs & fears. it is a matter of stacking up the benefits (highly valued ‘pluses’ they get as a result of going your way) and antibenefits (‘minuses’ they risk as a result of not going your way) so that they decide to go with your suggestion. In addition to the benefits a person states. wants & desires & find a way that what you are offering can satisfy them. Alongside ‘hidden fears’. When you are setting out to persuade or influence someone.Stacking Benefits People buy benefits. You can find ways to alleviate people’s unspoken fears & needs. If you get a rejection from someone after establishing credibility. People Like (hidden wants / needs) • The familiar / predictable • Winning • Feeling clever or superior • Being seen to make a smart move People Don’t Like (hidden fears) • The unknown • Losing out • Feeling stupid • Being seen to make a mistake • Cost Objections can often result from people’s hidden needs & fears – they won’t mention them.

This is heightened if there is competition for the scarce resource. hence the power of testimonials. Always find ways to show your influencee how other people have benefited. If you have something of value you can legitimately give to your influence subject. It feels good to be with someone who likes you! • Scarcity – People can be motivated by scarcity.uk .) • Authority / Credibility – People will respond more favourably to your message when you have credibility or authority. If there are legitimate scarcities in your influence domain. Challenge: Identify where these six principles are already available to you within your existing persuasion contexts.saladltd.  www. establish yourself as an expert. Also. let people know about your qualifications. they will want it more. find something you like about them. admit a weakness or limitation first – this also builds credibility. Find ways to build your credibility. • Consistency – People like what’s familiar. • Social Proof – Many people tend to do what others are doing. people respond. say “You’d do the same for me” to harness the reciprocity in the situation.Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence In Robert Cialdini’s excellent book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion he identifies six principles of influence that operate on human beings at a level below conscious awareness. as follows: • Reciprocity – When we do something for someone else. and they will be more likely to stick to it in future. & you will build trust.co. they feel a sense of debt towards us. • Liking / Likeness – We like people who are like us – this is part of the power of rapport. When you demonstrate consistency. When they say thanks.32 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Find a way to get someone to ‘go on record’ about something. then start to capitalise on them. tell people about it & reap the rewards (while supplies last. Find elements of likeness with another person. If they think there is a limited amount of something. and focus on it. then do so. When presenting your case. You can also use the fact that people don’t like to appear ‘flaky’.

33 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . You can ease into the questions with softeners like ‘I understand. and…’ or ‘That’s interesting…’. what would it be? • What problems do you find with doing it this way? • How are your expectations not yet being met? Establishing Needs.uk . rapport counts – have the questioning be gentle.) supplier? Amplifying possibility • What would have to happen for this to massively exceed your expectations? www.saladltd.co. The more questions you ask. Here are some powerful questions: Understanding the current situation • What are the major issues you are facing at the moment? • If you could change anything about your current service. not Paxmanesque. how would you know? Amplifying awareness of problems • What will things be like in (eg. feel & hear? • If you woke up tomorrow & everything was just as you’d like it to be. listen & strategise based on the patterns they are showing you. the more opportunities you get to watch. Desires • What do you want? • How will you know you’ve got it? What will you see.) twelve months if you do nothing? • What are you least happy with about your current (eg. Wants.Questions Questions are extremely powerful. As usual. and guide people’s awareness in certain directions.

Terence Hawkes. Routledge. Richard Bandler. Richard Bandler and John La Valle.34 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Society of NLP.uk . John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. 2001 Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual. J & C Enterprises. McKenna Breen.saladltd.Bibliography Metaphor. Clair. 1989 Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM Manual. 1999 www.co. 2001 Whispering In The Wind.

Reading & Resources Persuasion & Influence (order the books at www. Smart: A 6CD set introducing NLP and covering the core skills in the NLP skillset. Ethical Influence with NLP.uk • • • • • • • NLP • NLP for Business & Personal Success. . Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards. Persuasion Engineering. and is packed with stories.com – Gary Craig’s website with the free Emotional Freedom Therapy manual you can download. NLP: The New Technology of Achievement.co. Great for clearing ‘sales call reluctance’. Bandler & Grinder: The first ‘popular’ NLP book.uk . Smart: The fastest way there is to build your hypnotic language skills.covertcommunication.co.saladltd. Moine & Lloyd: The patterns of Ericksonian hypnosis applied.uk • Frogs Into Princes. available at www. Available at www. Unlimited Selling Power.35 ©2004 Jamie Smart • www.co.saladltd. Hypnosis. NLP Comprehensive: A bumper crop of ‘personal development’ NLP techniques and some background about the field.uk. Cialdini and others in the field. Smart: The fastest way there is to build your persuasion & influence language skills. to sales. www.saladltd. Bandler & La Valle: NLP and sales – from two masters in the field. incorporating NLP.co. this is a transcript of a number of seminars given by Bandler and Grinder.co. pattern by pattern.com – Chris Tomasulo’s persuasion newsletter. available at www. Influence: The Science of Persuasion.co. Smart: An 8CD set focusing on persuasion and influence. Robert Cialdini: Cialdini’s seminal work on influence & persuasion.uk. www.saladltd. Available at www.emofree.saladltd.uk) • Irresistible Influence Cards.saladltd.

Appendix A – Exercises www.co.uk .36 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .saladltd.

After B & C have had several rounds. 4. Now use the skills you’ve learned to guide A into a trance. while.uk . smooth pacing. but B & C limit their descriptions to what must be there in sensory experience.Pacing & Leading 1. 3. match your speaking pace to the pace of person A’s breathing.37 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . then describe their present experience. When person A is as deeply into the experience as before. 1981 This version ©2002Jamie Smart. Repeat exercise 4. transitions etc. 2. start including descriptions of the experience from exercise 1.) Follow this by 3 verifiable & 2 non-verifiable. B & C. enjoyment and feeling good. using 4 sensory-based descriptions (verifiable) followed by 1 internal description (non-verifiable.co. Other trance inductions you can investigate • Re-accessing a previous trance state • Overlapping representational systems • Naturally occurring trance states • Non-verbal inductions • Leverage induction • Pattern interrupts • Overload • Personal power • Stacking realities Adapted from Trance-formations by Bandler & Grinder. Ask A to close their eyes. cycling through the three main representation systems (VAK) as you do so. 1. A thinks of a situation in which they become deeply involved with a limited focus of attention.saladltd. start violating the principles of trance (voice speed. Repeat exercise 1. making 3 verifiable statements followed by 1 nonverifiable statement (use transition words like as. 2 verifiable & 3 non-verifiable etc. 5. then give them positive suggestions for learning. and. because).) Describe A’s present experience. All Rights Reserved www. B & C take turns describing what must be in A’s experience. and names it (one word).

38 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . a staunch vegetarian or very very hungry. 2) • • • • • • Write out the following sentences. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. sat in the garden yesterday. may have had little or no impact on you. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. had a delicious desert last night. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”.uk .Representation Systems Exercises 1) Read the following sentence & notice what effect it has: “I ate a steak yesterday” The sentence is fairly unspecified &. watched a great film the other day.co. I I I I I I walked through the park this morning. using the language of all five senses. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. Contrast this with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. www. unless you are a Hindu. saw a very attractive person this afternoon.saladltd. lay in a hot bath yesterday evening.

” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “In what contexts would the characteristic they’re complaining about have value?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. A states a complaint. 5. 5. choose A. “What else could this (X) mean?” or “What else could this situation mean?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. A states a complaint or issue.co. B delivers the reframe.Reframing Content Reframe (in groups of 3. www. 2. B asks A to repeat the complaint. B & C) 1. B & C observe A’s responses. B delivers the reframe.” or “He’s too Y. taking the form “I feel X when Y happens.uk . choose A.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “What else could this (Y) mean?”. B asks A to repeat the complaint. 3. B & C observe A’s responses. 4. 4.39 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . 2.saladltd. 3. taking the form “I’m too X. B & C) 1. Context Reframe (in groups of 3.

‘act as if’ you are the different characters or states as you access them. 4. mimicry. anchor the state or states elicited. expression. www. A tells B a story with the intention of a) holding their attention & b) eliciting a certain state. A & B 1. Clowning is permitted.uk . finish the first story.40 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . anchor the state or states elicited. Again. Use all your hypnotic language skills to deliver suggestions to B. interrupting the story part way through to tell a second story. Again. When the second story is complete.Expressive Storytelling Exercises Done in pairs. When B goes into the state. Again. using tonality. anchor the state or states elicited. with A being highly expressive. setting an additional goal for rapid learning etc.co. gestures. 2. ie. etc. 3 Repeat exercise 2. Be sure to include: • • • Extremes of volume Different tonalities Different facial expressions Again.saladltd. A anchors it. with A using characterisation. Repeat exercise 3. Repeat exercise 1. anchor the state or states elicited. Repeat exercise 4. 5.

though I must admit that I couldn't for the life of me figure out the implications of that one! :-) Fortunately. I did come to recognize the benefits of listening in building and healing relationships of every kind. and based on your reaction. If the plane's radar only registered whenever the enemy plane was firing. proceed to step two.e. Keep your attention on the object you are describing as you are describing it. (or what my fellow Southern Californians call "vibe" :-). www. Yet as I studied listening more carefully. and a staggeringly low 7% of the time to the actual words being used! Now. test subjects responded 55% of the time to the message being conveyed through body language.saladltd.Daily Coaching Tip Number 249 .") Unsurprisingly to anyone who's ever attempted to ask directions in a foreign country or talked utter nonsense to a baby or small child. it occurred to me that if over 50% of listening is picking up on pure body language and energy. communication in which a person was giving off "mixed messages". the danger with only listening when the other person is talking is that any purposeful conversation is a kind of an ongoing feedback loop – I say something to you. but you would effectively be "firing blind" when it came to your own attempts... When you are comfortable doing that.i. It came as no surprise to me when I first came across the oft-quoted research of Professor Alfred Mehrabian. and a different message with their words (for example. I adapt my communication accordingly. but with a bit of practice it will utterly transform your communication (and your relationships!) for the better.co. A particular variation of listening that I developed for myself was what I call "wholebody" listening . no doubt. motivated by my love of talking. as I matured. I lose the feedback and can no longer effectively "aim" my communication. 2001 If you enjoy this tip. Choose any item in your immediate environment and begin to describe it aloud. I began to notice a curious phenomenon . 38% of the time to the message being conveyed through tonality. Today's Experiment: 1.even the best and most effective listeners switched off their antennae as soon as they began to speak. we should be able to usefully continue listening to someone even when they stop speaking.41 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Today's experiment is surprisingly difficult for most people when they first try it. If I stop listening to you the moment I open my mouth. (a preference which will come as no surprise to regular readers of these tips).. Similarly. Mehrabian set up studies in incongruent communication .uk . you might well be able to avoid the worst of the incoming barrage. The very same people who could empathize so wonderfully with a disgruntled employee or pick up on the limiting assumptions in a client's litany of woes were utterly unable to notice when they were boring their conversation partners rigid at a dinner party.July 1. I was quick to realize that I'd also been given two nostrils and one rear-end. please forward it on! I remember being told as a child that: "You were given two ears and one mouth so that you could listen twice as much as you talk". Imagine you're flying a sophisticated fighter plane in the midst of a midair dogfight.listening with my eyes and heart as well as my ears. Experimenters would attempt to convey one message with their body and/or tonality (for example "I love you"). Partly. "You're a horrible person.

When you are engaged in the conversation. still keeping your attention at all times on the object you are describing.saladltd. please send a blank e-mail with the word "subscribe" in the subject line to: subscribe@dailycoachingtip. set the intention of keeping your attention on the other person both when you are listening and when you are talking. Bonus Tip . 3. (i. Have fun. etc.42 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . trainer. don't try this for the first time while attempting to close that million dollar sale or when trying to convince your partner that you really do love them)! Decide that for the duration of this conversation. If you notice your attention wandering or you become aware that you've "gone inside" your head. 2001 Michael Neill All Rights Reserved www. gently bring your attention back to the other person. ex.com/ to find out more! How to Subscribe If you wish to receive the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week every Monday morning.uk . it is best to let your attention wander where it will. 4. partner.. If you wish to unsubscribe from the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week.If you enjoyed this week's tip.com ©2000. and keep listening! Until tomorrow. The Coach PS . we speak purely in order to hear ourselves think.dailycoachingtip. "This ring is gold with little knobbly bits on it and it was made by a jeweler named John Scott in Camden Lock and it's round and it has some dimpled impressions in the gold and my wife has an identical ring with diamonds in the dimples that I got her for our first anniversary and it has a bit of dirt which has collected between the knobbly bits.e.. Click on the link or visit our website at http://www. Now. Sometimes.co. please send a blank e-mail with the word 'unsubscribe' in the subject line to: unsubscribe@dailycoachingtip. When you can keep your attention firmly on the other person and still make intelligent conversation. or friend.com. salesperson. learn heaps." You're ready to move on to step three when you can switch between description and story without having to re-direct your attention inwards to figure out what to say next. "Thinking Aloud" Not all talking is for the purpose of communication. Choose a conversation to practice with where it would be OK if you were not particularly effluent.2. In these instances. you will practice the hidden art of "listening while talking". switch back and forth between describing the object aloud and telling a story about it. be they in a role as coach. you may want to consider attending our teleclass on "Creating Conversational Change". you are ready to bring this skill to bear in your more important conversations and exchanges.Communicating vs.

uk . You may be aware of some of the astonishing results that NLP can deliver.More Information salad the influence collection “Discover How You Can Become Irresistibly Influential. Irresistible Influence Cards 3.Ethical Influence with NLP Manual. you will be able to: • • • • Build rapport in moments. The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence & Persuasion for the Salesman. & stop them being used against you! Turn hesitation into motivation and take decisive action.00 CD Bundle : £107.co.uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www. • • • BUY NOW to receive this AMAZING OFFER: 1. By the time you finish listening to the recording of this three-day intensive workshop with Jamie Smart.saladltd.co.saladltd.00 Click Here to Order Now Click Here to Order Now (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www. rather than against you Captivate people’s attention and lead them into an ideal persuasion state Use the secrets of subliminal persuasion ethically. Now is your opportunity to harness its power for yourself. Ethical Influence with NLP Audio (CD or Download) 2. The Top 25 Influence Tips. and use it to attract more of what you want into your life. then lead people where you want to take them Get people to tell you exactly what you need to do to persuade them Use hypnotic influencing skills to press their "buy this now" buttons Get the 6 principles of influence to work for you. FREE BONUS of 4 E-Books . Price: Download Bundle : £77. Before Your Competition Do” Ethical Influence with NLP You may have heard that NLP is particularly powerful in the areas of communication and influence.43 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .

you will: • • • • • Learn the patterns of persuasion. Become a far more influential communicator. Jamie has been using the patterns of persuasion and influence for years to get great results.salad the influence collection “The Fast. he is taking the most powerful patterns he's found and is choosing 52 of them for the Irresistible Influence CardsTM. with Salad. make more sales. these cards will help you greatly to do it!!! Wouldn't it be nice if there was a fun. Close more deals.Master Trainer of NLP Price: Irresistible Influence Cards (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) £19.95 Click Here To Order Now Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www.saladltd.saladltd.co. and bringing people around to your way of thinking. By using these cards. Have a blast learning to be irresistibly influential “Put simply: if you want to become really good with language.uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www.uk . enjoyable way of mastering language patterns? Now there is. needs and desires and then using language in the most influential way to get them to buy your ideas. Now. Fun Way You Can MASSIVELY Increase Your Influence Power” Irresistible Influence Cards are geared towards winning business.44 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . and persuade more people.” Owen Fitzpatrick . products or services. Get people to want to do what you want them to do. They are focused on discovering people's wants.co.

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He spent much of the nineties leading large.About the Author Jamie Smart is the Managing Director of Salad Seminars Ltd. mission-critical business projects and change programmes.46 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . he found that individual change is the key to collective change. This fascination led him to NLP. and became fascinated with helping people achieve the results they want. and applying what he’s learned.saladltd. Jamie is author of The NLP Tip. as well as the principal trainer. listening to music and reading. an e-zine which goes to thousands of people around the world each week (available from www. as well as the creator of Ericksonian Hypnosis CardsTM and many other products.saladltd. he likes going for long walks in the woods. Acknowledgements I’ve been fortunate to learn from a number of great NLP Trainers and other innovative thinkers and teachers. and he has spent from 1996 to the present day learning from the finest teachers and materials. When he isn’t helping other people get what they want.co. He lives in Leicestershire (UK). Specific thanks to… • • • • • • • • • Richard Bandler John Grinder Joseph Riggio Eric Robbie Jo Cooper Peter Seal Timothy Leary Marianne Williamson Michael Breen • Sháá Wasmund • • • • • • • • • Robert Dilts Sid Jacobson Jonathan Altfeld Robert Anton Wilson Ian Watson Michael Neill John La Valle Paul McKenna Christina Hall www. Jamie is an NLP Master Practitioner and is licensed by Richard Bandler and the Society of NLP as a Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).uk).co. In the process. Thanks to anyone whose efforts have made their way into this work.uk .

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