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Table of Contents What is Language?................................................................... 3 Persuasion & Influence?............................................................ 4 Is it Ethical?............................................................................ 5 What is NLP?........................................................................... 6 The Fundamentals....................................................................7 Presuppositions .......................................................................8 Rapport.................................................................................. 9 Sensory Acuity.......................................................................10 Representational Systems....................................................... 11 Sensory Words.......................................................................12 States...................................................................................13 Anchoring..............................................................................14 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................15 Powerful Language ................................................................ 16 Voice Control......................................................................... 20 Stories..................................................................................21 What is a Metaphor?............................................................... 22 More About Metaphors............................................................ 23 Tips for Storytelling................................................................ 24 Tips for Using Hypnotic Language ............................................ 25 Criteria................................................................................. 26 Instant Replay (Decision Strategies)......................................... 27 Asking for Miracles................................................................. 28 Dealing with Objections...........................................................29 Stacking Benefits................................................................... 31 Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence...........................................32 Questions..............................................................................33 Bibliography.......................................................................... 34 Reading & Resources.............................................................. 35 Appendix A – Exercises........................................................... 36 Pacing & Leading ...................................................................37 More Information................................................................... 43 ...........................................................................................45 About the Author....................................................................46 Acknowledgements.................................................................46
©2004 Jamie Smart
What is Language?
Here’s a definition: “A systematic means of communicating ideas or feelings by the use of conventionalized signs, sounds, gestures, or marks having understood meanings.” – The Merriam Webster Dictionary Online The above definition is typical of the dictionary definitions of language, and makes a valiant attempt to encapsulate what language is for and what it does. Yet language has other functions and powers far beyond the relatively prosaic communication tool described above. Human beings perceive the world through their five senses (sight, hearing, feeling, smelling, tasting), and record those sensings in maps or models of the world in their nervous systems. We do not experience the world directly, but rather through our sense and the maps and models we make of those sensings. Language is a meta-map; a map of our internal maps and models. Like our other internal maps and models, our linguistic map is subject to change. The language a person uses is a reflection of their maps and models of reality, and reveals aspects of those maps and models which the person themselves is not aware of. When their models change, their experience of reality changes. Language is a lever for changing those models, and thus changing a person’s reality. You can use language to change your (or someone else’s) reality.
©2004 Jamie Smart
Persuasion & Influence?
Persuasion and influence is the process of getting someone else to want to do, think or believe what you want them to. Whether you want someone to accept your ideas, your suggestion or your products / services, persuasion and influencing skills are the key. Persuasion & influence are not… • • • • Bullying Pressuring Tricking Deceiving
Persuasion & influence are • • • • Elegant Smooth Effective Often undetectable
Influences on this training This training draws on a number of different sources. The main source is Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP), probably the most powerful communications technology in the world (see ‘What is NLP?’) Other sources include the following: • • • Ericksonian Hypnosis Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence Chris Tomasulo’s ‘Covert Communication’ Model
©2004 Jamie Smart
however. then either change your belief or change your product. Believe in the universe You can think of the mind as having two parts: a thinker and a prover. So make sure that you believe in whatever you want others to believe in. adventure. It has been shown again and again that optimists live longer. and they’ll tell lots of other people not to either. If you don’t. fun. Einstein once said that the main question facing humanity was “Is the universe a friendly place?” We suggest that you decide to believe it is. If in doubt. don’t! While it is possible to get people to do things against their best interests. giving you a happy and fulfilling life. pleasure and fulfilment in your life than you ever thought possible. we suggest that you choose beliefs that support and help you. Believe in your product / service / idea Whether you are persuading someone of the value of your ideas. one thing is fairly certain: if you do not believe in it. excitement.co. Believe in yourself It is an old adage that ‘people buy people’. money.Is it Ethical? The skills you will learn are neither ethical nor unethical – they are. Choose to believe that you can have more happiness. There are many excellent resources available for developing your self-belief – we suggest you use them. happier more fulfilling lives than pessimists. Choose to be an optimist. that you follow these principles when you use them… Best interests Ensure that you have your own best interests and the best interests of the person you are persuading at heart. therefore. they won’t make the same mistake twice.saladltd. This choice never disappoints! www. The thinker can think almost anything – the prover proves what the thinker thinks by filtering out information that doesn’t agree with it. We suggest. very powerful. services or physical products. neither will they. If you know that what you want them to do is going to be good for them and make them happy / healthy / wealthy then go for it. and the quickest way to get others to believe in you is to believe in yourself.uk -5- ©2004 Jamie Smart . For this reason.
to look at life as a rare and unprecedented opportunity to learn.) It has been used to model some of the best persuaders and influencers in the world. NLP has evolved as an innovative technology enabling the practitioner to organise information and perceptions in ways that allow them to achieve results that were once inconceivable. Grinder & St. Programming The ability to structure our neurological and linguistic systems to achieve certain results. The term NLP is used to describe both the approach to modelling that they used. Richard Bandler describes NLP as follows: “NLP is an attitude. In Whispering in the Wind (2001).” Neuro The nervous system. including the brain and the five senses. NLP is a methodology based on the overall operational presupposition that all behaviour has a structure…and that structure can be modelled.Clair describe it thus: “(NLP) is a modelling technology whose specific subject matter is the set of differences that make the difference between the performance of geniuses and that of average performers in the same field or activity” In the Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual (1999). characterised by the sense of curiousity and adventure and a desire to learn the skills to be able to find out what kinds of communication influences somebody and the kinds of things worth knowing.co.What is NLP? Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP) was developed starting in the early 1970s by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. and the powerful models of communication and change they created (and have continued to develop. when they set out to model the work of geniuses in the field of human communication and change. Linguistic The verbal & non-verbal language symbols with which we code & transmit meaning. www.saladltd. taught and changed (reprogrammed.) The way to know what will be useful and effective are the perceptual skills.uk -6- ©2004 Jamie Smart . learned.
Get the attention of the unconscious mind (Rapport) “The map is not the territory. Sensory acuity refers to the ability to notice the signs that you are moving in the right direction (or otherwise.saladltd.) 4. The human nervous system can be thought of as goal-seeking.” www. 2. 3.” You must start where the person you wish to influence is (the ‘Present State’. and you tend to get what you focus on.The Fundamentals The fundamentals of influence from an NLP perspective are straightforward: 1.co.uk -7- ©2004 Jamie Smart .” When you notice that you are not getting what you want. Well-formed outcomes are an important tool for ensuring that you get more of what you want in your life. you need the flexibility to change what you are doing in order to get a different result. “Intelligence is the ability to have a fixed goal and be flexible about how you achieve it. you need to be able to notice (using one or more senses) whether or not you are going there. Adjust what you’re doing accordingly (Behavioural Flexibility) “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again.) Rapport is the process of getting the attention and trust of the unconscious mind. expecting a different result. Know what you want (Outcome / Direction) One of the key NLP questions is ‘What do you want?’. Know whether you’re getting what you want (Sensory Acuity) Once you know where you want to go.
• • • • • • The map is not the territory People make the best choice available to them at the time The meaning of the communication is the response you get.co. but can be very useful for successful communication. only feedback There is a solution to every problem The one with the most flexibility of thought and action is most likely to succeed You can have whatever you want (if you help enough other people to get what they want) There is enough of everything to go round People buy valued results • • • www.saladltd. They are not ‘true’. There is no failure.uk -8- ©2004 Jamie Smart .Presuppositions The following list is a selection of presuppositions or assumptions which have proved useful for persuasion & influence.
) Try matching: • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Half body Head tilt • • • • Vocal qualities Key phrases Predicates Eyeblinks • • • • Facial expression Energy level Breathing Anything else… A simple test for rapport is to make some simple movement. and the rapport built up with techniques such as matching and mirroring can give the impression of a deep sense of connection and trust (the basis of the ‘we like people who are like us’ school of influence. The basic rapport test is “if you lead.uk -9- ©2004 Jamie Smart . then you’ve developed rapport and led their behaviour.) Matching and mirroring often develop spontaneously. Matching will develop rapport. they follow.Rapport Rapport has been described as what happens when we get the attention of someone’s unconscious mind. Rapport can be established on many levels: • speaking the same • wearing similar clothing language • breathing at the same rate • supporting the same team • matching body language • having a common interest • matching voice tone Rapport is a starting point for successful communication and influence. like scratching your nose. mismatching will reduce it. and are a good sign that you are in rapport with someone. NB – Choose low risk situations to experiment with at first. you can build rapport by ‘cross-over mirroring’ (eg. If they make a similar movement within the next minute.’ It is more commonly understood as the sense of ease and connection that develops when you are interacting with someone you trust and feel comfortable with.” Challenge: Discover how many different ways you can develop rapport with people in your day to day life. and meet them at ‘their map of the world.saladltd. Matching their breathing rate with your speech rate. When mirroring isn’t appropriate.co. www.
You’ll see and hear more! If your internal dialogue interrupts your awareness. www. rate. The processes taking place inside a person’s mind are reflected to a greater or lesser extent on the outside. Challenge: Choose a different area of behaviour from the list above to pay attention to every day. in such phenomena as: • • • • • • • • • • • Body posture Hand gestures Head tilt Vocal qualities (tone. Visual acuity is particularly important in the practice of hypnosis. as it is one of the keys for ‘making guesses’ about how your suggestions are being received.uk . relaxing your throat muscles. Tip: Minimise your internal dialogue by breathing deeply. say “Shut the &*!% up!” inside your head.10 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .” Repeat as necessary.Sensory Acuity “Watch and listen!” This is one of the main ‘secrets’ to becoming highly skilled at NLP.co.saladltd. Notice how quickly it’s possible for you to begin seeing and hearing more and more that was previously invisible. volume etc) Key phrases Sensory predicates Eye-blinks Pupil dilation Rapid eye movement Facial expression Facial symmetry / asymmetry • • • • • • • • • • • • Lower lip size Energy level Breathing rate Breathing patterns Skin colour Muscle tonus Pore dilation Sentence length Non-verbal utterances Involuntary movements Metaphors Anything else you can perceive! You can train your senses to perceive more and more of what is happening in the other person – distinctions that would previously have been ‘invisible’. placing the tip of your tongue just behind your upper front teeth and letting your jaw drop slightly.
organise. they are using representational systems to do so. Feeling.Representational Systems According to the Concise Oxford Dictionary to represent something is to call up in the mind by description. By paying attention to the things people are doing and saying. and which ones are out of consciousness.saladltd.. Clues to which representational systems are being used to process can be found by paying attention to: • • • • • • • Spoken language (see ‘Sensory Words’) Eye movements Hand gestures Breathing Head position Voice tone Voice pace If you tell people a story about yourself which closely matches their experience.co."reality” and out perceptions of “reality” are not the same…The Map is not the Territory. This may seem obvious. and attach meaning to perceptual input are referred to as REPRESENTATIONAL SYSTEMS.uk . Hearing. Richard Bandler and John La Valle offer the following description: “Human beings experience themselves and the world they live in through the primary modalities of the five senses…Seeing. Representational systems (rep systems) are the means by which human beings are able to do this.” When people are ‘thinking’. it is translated into corresponding sensory representations (or maps) that constitute a likeness or synthesis of the original perceptual input. portrayal or imagination. www. As sensory input is internally processed (re-presented). The sensory modalities by which people encode.. These intuitions will give you additional choices as a communicator.11 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Smelling and Tasting. it is possible to get intuitions about which representational systems are in consciousness at a given point in time. In the Neuro Hypnotic TM Repatterning Manual (2000). yet very important to remember. it can build a sense of rapport. store.
bland. talk. focus. say. sour. perspective. light smell. light. If you mismatch their rep systems. you will begin to become more sensitised to the rep system they are most aware* of using to process at that moment. view. you can use sensory words & descriptions to get the person more ‘into’ what you are telling them. tasty. we just clicked.co.” www. look at it from my point of view It feels good to me. Contrast the sentence “I ate a steak yesterday” with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. When you tell stories. sound. clear Feel. sweet Taste. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. hold. click. scent.12 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. handle. get a handle on this I smell a rat Just give me a flavour of this When you use language from the same rep system(s) that the person you are communicating with is using. do you hear what I’m saying I see what you mean.Sensory Words One of the easiest ways for you to get a sense of the rep system someone is favouring at a point in time is through their language. see Appendix C. As you become more aware of the ‘sensory specific’ words that people use. Below are some examples of words that indicate a particular rep system – for an exhaustive list. grip. tell. rotten. clear hear. tangy. hang. for instance: • • • • • That rings a bell. look. Visual (see) Auditory (hear) Kinaesthetic (feel) Olfactory (smell) Gustatory (taste) See. sharp. heavy. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest. it creates more trust and rapport.uk . odour. salty. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. light. tone. it will diminish the level of trust and rapport. ring. stink. essence.saladltd. sweet You will also notice people using turns of phrase that indicate certain preferences.
If you are telling a story where a character was experiencing pleasure. it too is usually ‘wrapped’ in a state. These differences are also likely to be evident in voice analogues (eg. For this reason. there is typically a state associated with that problem. Excitement).13 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . External Signs There are usually external signals that accompany a particular state. Problems & Solutions When people are experiencing a specific problem. go there first yourself. they are likely to look different to someone who is feeling down. When you imagine someone who is feeling ecstatic. Your listeners will pick this up & respond to it. you can anchor it (see ‘Anchoring’). Similarly.States States are configurations of physiology and neurology. The following words can be thought of as descriptions of certain states: • • • • • Love Happiness Confidence Sadness Joy • • • • • Creativity Flow Nervousness Amusement Affection • • • • • Fear Focus Comfort Relaxation Trance Each of these words describes a different experience for each person. feel that pleasure yourself & it will come out in the story.co. volume) and many other external signals.saladltd. body and mind. Eliciting States If you want someone else to access a great state (Eg.uk . Tone. the ability to alter your own or someone else’s state is very useful. when a person finds a solution. When they do. www. or experiences the resource they need to provide that solution.
co.saladltd. it is important to a) ensure that you have a powerful example of the state to work with b) anchor in as many rep systems as possible c) set the anchor just before the state peaks d) fire the anchor accurately. bells and salivating dogs). your voice is a rich source of powerful anchors. Setting anchors Anchoring is particularly useful for helping people to recreate certain states. Tip: When you (or someone you are with) are experiencing something you want to have more of.14 ©2004 Jamie Smart www. It is conceptually similar to Pavlovian conditioning (ie.uk . For instance. with the exception that it is often possible to set an anchor with a single trial. the word ‘lion’ will immediately trigger images. Challenge: Practice setting and firing anchors with the people you meet from day to day. sounds etc associated with the word lion. Some examples: • • • • • tonal (eg. anchor it. These words are anchors. the special way a certain person has of saying your name) tactile (eg. The effect of smelling fresh lemons) gustatory (eg. The effect of a certain type of handshake) visual (eg. Anchors can operate in any representation system. an anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. Precision counts! When doing hypnosis. Choose a different rep system each day and notice how many naturally occurring anchors you can find. The way people respond to certain items of clothing) olfactory (eg.Anchoring An anchor is any representation in the human nervous system that triggers any other representation. The taste of your favourite food) Once again. In order to get a ‘strong’ anchor for the state. The word ‘chocolate’ will trigger different associations. .
and the reason is to build our businesses. The overall shape / structure is as follows: Pace – pace – pace .15 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . In NLP. you may begin to notice that there is a mixture of things that are ‘true’ and things that are more ‘speculative’.co. but as you look more closely at the way the statements are structured.saladltd. and it’s early. there is great value in meeting them at their ‘map of the world’ before you start the process of leading them somewhere new. so I know you’re going to be interested in helping me build mine etc… ” On the face of it. you’ll begin to find yourself doing it spontaneously.Pacing & Leading Whenever you set out to influence someone.lead Pace – pace – lead – lead Pace – lead – lead – lead Lead – lead – lead – lead… (+an occasional pace) Pacing and leading often sounds ‘clunky’ at first. For example… Every Friday at 7am. ‘True’ – Pacing ‘Speculative’ – Leading • We’re here • you may be wondering what • it’s Friday morning I’m going to tell you about today • it’s early • I know you’re going to be • we’ve come here for a reason interested in helping me build • the reason is to build our mine businesses When pacing and leading is done elegantly. it is possible to move from saying mostly things which are ‘verifiably true’ to saying mostly things which are ‘made up’ without the listener(s) noticing the transition. and you may be wondering what I’m going to tell you about today… because we’ve all come here for a reason. www. it’s Friday morning. this is a fairly ordinary intro. making statements (for instance) about the current ‘reality’ for an individual or group before directing their attention somewhere else. without even planning it consciously. but as you practice it more and more. I will often start my commercial with something like the following: “We’re here at BNI. I go to a business networking group (BNI) where I get the opportunity to do a 60 second ‘commercial’ for services that I offer.uk . this process is referred to as ‘pacing and leading’.
Powerful Language Language is one of the most profound influences on the way human beings shape their reality. a touch etc). you know. I was excited by the prospect. learn to embed commands. it gets attributed to someone else. When Bandler & Grinder said “Learn to use quotes immediately”. I said to myself “Start using quotes in everything you do. The following language patterns are some examples of how ‘indirect hypnosis’ can be applied to gently persuade people in many different situations.uk . (Eg. feelings.” or “I remember last time you decided to give me a pay rise. tastes & smells in order to make sense of the words. it gets processed by the unconscious. but not by the conscious. Your ability to use language skilfully with intention will become one of the most powerful influencing ‘tools’ you possess. It is possible to communicate directly with a person’s unconscious mind. As soon as I realised the power of quotes.saladltd. make it into a command.16 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .” When you put something in quotes. sounds.) www. they knew what they were talking about.” or “I think the time you’ve spent on this is a sign now that we can explore some exciting opportunities. I was really made up!” Analogue marking You can enhance embedded commands by marking them out with some other behaviour (Eg. the unconscious has much more to do with it than they think. You can even mark out different words in one or more sentences (Eg. shift in voice tone. bypassing the conscious mind.co. “When I first decided to.” Embedded commands You can embed a command in a larger sentence – just think of what you want someone to do. I really hope my time off will give me a chance to look at the high rise apartment being built next door. When you put a command in quotes. raised eyebrows. then create a larger sentence that can contain it. Quotes Milton Erickson used to say “Use quotes to tell people what to do. As people listen to words. Language is processed by your unconscious. NB – make sure you have rapport before you use these patterns. While people often believe they are in conscious control of the decisions they make. they make pictures.
because we’ve got a lot more info to get through. is it not. it becomes almost irresistible.uk . they will be much more likely to listen to what follows. www. because that would be unfair. “aren’t they” etc that people sometimes add to the end of sentences. it makes the sentence difficult to disagree with. isn’t it. Linkage There are a number of useful patterns to learn. because we’ve hardly started to explore it. because etc to create linkage between words & phrases. When someone adds a tag question. you can get immediate feedback on how interested they will be (see the first line of this paragraph.saladltd. because it allows you to create a smooth flow in your language while the other person becomes entranced with what you are saying. and linkage is one of the most powerful. Use words such as as. because it’s nice to listen to someone who’s easy to listen to. If you use a headline (just like a newspaper does) that contains a valuable benefit for the person you are influencing.” or “I wouldn’t ask you to only focus on our strengths.17 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . while.co. If you combine the tag question with a slow head nod and command tone down (see Voice Control).) Tag questions ‘Tag questions’ are the name for the small phrases like “isn’t it”. I’m sure you can think of lots of situations where tag questions could be useful. and you’ll create a smooth flow for the listener. “Don’t start thinking about how much fun you’re going to have with this. doesn’t it.) So if you’re going to use them. use them to send someone somewhere useful. And it’s useful to be able to make things tough to disagree with. The command “Don’t think of a purple hippopotamus” is difficult to obey.”) Benefit headlining Would you like to know how you can get people to pay 75% more attention to what you say? Put a headline in front of it. can’t you.Powerful Language (continued…) Negation Negation allows you to say outrageously overt things without taking responsibility for them. Hooray! Don’t start thinking about how useful this could be yet. Negatives are not processed by the nervous system in the same way that they are linguistically (eg. doesn’t it. (Eg. and. If you frame it as a question.
think of what you want your influencee to accept as fact. There are four kinds of ambiguity in the English language: • Phonological – meaning two words that sound the same but mean different things.saladltd.uk . The unconscious will process the marked out element of what you are saying as a separate communication.18 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . “I spoke to the clever women and men. outside conscious awareness. And influencing skills can be enjoyable. • Syntactic – Because persuading persuaders can be tricky. as well as allowing you to say things that can process in multiple ways. such as facial expressions. • Scope – Ambiguous words and phrases sometimes are part of a scope ambiguity where it is unclear which parts of a sentence an adjective applies to. voice tone change. You can stack presuppositions to make them even more difficult to resist. A presupposition is something that must be accepted as true for the sentence to make sense. One of the things you’ll really start to become aware of as you continue to practice these more and more is just how much fun you can have with them! www. And learning ambiguities can be fun. As eye right this ewe can sea watt eye mean. Merely choose the covert communication you wish to mark out. eyebrow movements. a gesture etc. then construct a sentence that presupposes it.Powerful Language (continued…) Ambiguity English is a very ambiguous language.” It is unclear whether the word clever applies to both the women & the men. or just the women. and using ambiguity can induce mild confusion. then do it! By now.co. you probably can begin to see how this could be used. Analogue marking You can mark out phrases in your communication. Eg. • Punctuation – Where two phrases are combined to make a run-on sentence can be strange to hear at first. Presupposition One of things that you’ll begin to notice as you start to use become more aware of language is the power of presuppositions. using any perceivable behaviour. To use presuppositions.
For example. but generate ‘yes’ responses. Use them to get people saying yes from the outset.Powerful Language (continued…) Embedded questions An embedded question is merely a question embedded in a larger structure. you may start to become curious about the many ways that you can. you may not have believed that was so. as you consider just how much you’ve learned. in the future. You will be amazed at how powerful this will be. but now. but with others.” When I say the ‘Are you ready to do a deal’ bit. www. they have more questions to ask. if I want to know if someone is ready to close. If you are in rapport with someone. When you imagine yourself six months from now. as though it was asked directly.co. start to become more comfortable using language in this way. you can look back to the present and realise just how far you’ve come. they will respond unconsciously to a question embedded in a larger structure. Back before you started this training. head nod) – then I know whether they’re ready or not. I might say “With some people I’ll just get a feeling that I can ask ‘Are you ready to do a deal’. Tip: Get a ringbinder with a section for each of these patterns then practice writing out examples pertinent to your influence goals. having really learned how to use these patterns skilfully.19 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk .saladltd. Rhetorical questions Do you like to feel good? Rhetorical questions are questions that don’t require an answer. Time You can use language to shift people’s awareness through time. I watch for unconscious responses (eg.
While matching their voice analogues can be powerful for building rapport. Descending pitch gets processed as a command.saladltd. you will begin to recognise the differences in the ways other people speak. Your ability to speak with flexibility and control can have dramatic results. there are some other key features which are also good to know: Command tone down The pitch & tone of voice you use toward the end of a sentence determines at a deep unconscious level what ‘kind’ of sentence it is: • • • Rising pitch gets processed as a question.uk .co. Which do you think is most useful to use when making suggestions to the people you wish to influence? www. You can practice learning to control & vary… • • • • • • • Tone Pitch Rate Rhythm Volume Timbre and many other voice ‘analogues’ As you start to listen more closely to other people speak.20 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .Voice Control Your voice is probably your most powerful tool as a persuader. Level pitch gets processed as a statement.
they tend to let down their conscious shields when you start telling a story. I thought “I don’t know any stories”. decisiveness) • Act as camouflage for nifty language (Eg. then I said to myself “You know lots of stories. Events that have happened to you or your friends.21 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .saladltd. they look to their own experience to make sense of it. I was reading a book about using NLP in the workplace.” I started to make a list of all the experiences I’d had that could be told as a story. and it mentioned metaphor and storytelling. it’s just a matter of noticing them. • Captivate their attention • Change the meaning of something (Eg. Now I use them all the time! Stories are like gestures or eye movements – they’re there all the time. a story about someone else who had that problem or need and had it solved will be very powerful – use this fact to streamline your persuasion. You can use stories to… • Pace people’s experience • Put people at their ease • Amplify a potential risk of not making a certain decision. When you tell someone a story. www. stories you’ve heard: all of these count.uk .” I started to think about it. films you’ve seen. but my partner said to me “Everything in your life is a story. Tip: Start making a list of the stories you already know. When someone has a certain problem or need.Stories Stories and metaphors are some of the most powerful tools for influence and persuasion. There were hundreds of them. an objection) • Tell them how / what to think about something • Get them to access certain resources (eg. you just never thought about them that way before. Better yet.co. embedded commands) • Get people to drop their guard • Get them to imagine themselves enjoying your proposition • Etc etc etc I remember when I first started studying NLP. it just depends how you look at it.
the word metaphor will be used to refer to all of the following: • • • • • • • Metaphors Similes Stories Anecdotes Tall tales Factual explanations Jokes Stories are one of the most powerful resources there is.” For the purposes of this training.22 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .What is a Metaphor? A metaphor can be described as something which stands for something else.saladltd.co. In Metaphor (1972). It refers to a particular set of linguistic processes whereby aspects of one object are ‘carried over’ or transferred to another object. ‘to carry’. and pherein. You can use stories to… • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Put people at their ease. a problem) Tell them how to think about something Induce trance in your audience Install strategies Do covert rehearsal Disassociate people Change beliefs Do covert changework & healing And generally act as great camouflage www. build rapport & pace their experience Elicit states & gather resources (eg.uk . decisiveness) Induce age regression (take them back to childhood) Captivate their attention Speak to the unconscious mind Illustrate a point Grab your audience’s attention Get people to take off their armour & overturn objections Reframe / change the meaning of something (eg. so that the second object is spoken of as if it were the first. Terence Hawkes defined metaphor thus: “The word metaphor comes from the Greek word metaphora derived from meta meaning ‘over’.
23 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .they unconsciously search through their own experience to find a personal reference for what you’re saying (this is one of the reasons why people often respond to a story by telling a similar one of their own. putting themselves into the protagonists shoes. www. This invites us to focus on certain qualities. They do this by inviting us to map across certain qualities of the metaphor (Y) to some other situation (X). it has been noticed that people do this ‘mapping across’ whether a comparison is invited or not. is unconscious explains why metaphors can be so powerful. For instance.) The fact that the search for references. your unconscious is intuitive. a clear and obvious comparison has been made.uk . & given to creative leaps. they do what influence expert Chris Tomasulo calls a ‘me too’ . For example: My love (X) is like a red red rose (Y). analytical & sequential.saladltd. He knew that when you tell someone a story. associative. While the conscious mind is logical. while ignoring other aspects: Qualities Brought Into Focus Beauty Fragrance Thorniness Alive Transiency Qualities Ignored Chemical reactions Pupil dilation Heartache etc • • • • • • • • While in this case. the ‘meaning-making’ function.co. Milton Erickson (the famous hypnotherapist) would tell stories which his clients would then apply (unconsciously) to the problems & challenges they faced in their lives. The unconscious mind is always involved. people watching a film will often identify with one of the characters.More About Metaphors The human mind can be modelled as having both a conscious & an unconscious aspect. Metaphors take advantage of the associative ability of the unconscious to communicate a lot of information quickly (& sometimes covertly).
www. shock or surprise.uk . l) Use your body & voice expressively to intensify the emotions in your story.24 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . f) Use rich.Tips for Storytelling Here are a few tips to help you enrich your storytelling: a) Make a list of stories & practice telling them to people. d) Pay attention as you speak & notice the response you’re getting. k) Build movement & drama using suspense. b) Stories from your personal experience generally have more impact than borrowed ones.saladltd. mystery. h) Use detail to engage people & make them enter fully into your ‘reality’. g) Write out stories to tune them & ‘wire them in’. If you don’t like the response. change ‘direction’.co. j) Choose stories that will be relevant / interesting to your audience. sensory language to activate all five senses. i) Use symbols to activate deep cultural meanings. e) Have a beginning. middle & end. c) Have a communication goal in mind for the person/people you are telling the story to.
Play makes learning fast and fun. with a gesture. a touch. 9.co. so go there first yourself. 3.saladltd.25 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . relax easily. 8. 2. learn quickly. be successful etc). ‘Analogue mark' key phrases (E.Tips for Using Hypnotic Language 1. Word selection is an unconscious function. Then you can become curious about just how quickly your unconscious will begin to surprise you by allowing these patterns to emerge in your language spontaneously! 5. so your unconscious can take care of it. People respond to emotions. lowered voice tone. so use games to increase your learning speed. Write out examples of language patterns to wire them into your neurology at a deep level. End your suggestions with a descending voice tone for increased authority. Then allow your unconscious to help reflect this in your suggestions. Establish & maintain rapport. for the person to access their resources. 4.g. Use sensory-rich language.uk . Start speaking even if you don't know what you're going to say to complete it your sentence. 7. 6. a raised eyebrow etc) to send commands to a person’s unconscious mind. Set a goal for your communication (E. www.g.
because the context is different. If they go ‘inside’. Criteria are context-dependent. how do you elicit peoples’ criteria? The first way is just to listen.26 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . you can unpack them by asking someone “How do you know when you’ve got [criteria]?” They’ll give you information about their process or equation that allows them to know they’ve got that criteria. Many people will tell a related story about themselves that reveals their criteria. then those specific words are anchors for their criteria in that context. money. So. such as: • • “What’s important to you about [context]?” “What do you look for in a [context]?” Once you have someone’s criteria.uk . Let them know how what you’re offering satisfies their criteria. adventure). ask “What has to happen for you to get that?” For example… Q: A: Q: A: How do you know when you’ve got freedom?” I just get a great feeling inside. Ask a person “What is important to you in your work?” and they will tell you what their criteria are for their work (Eg. When you want to let the person know how what you’re offering or suggesting gives them benefit. What has to happen for you to get that? I need to know that I can make my own decisions. These are referred to as criteria. security. we refer to these as values (eg.saladltd. and you’ll hear them jump out (“We went to Greece last year & the place we stayed was so CONVENIENT. portability and reliability” are what’s most important to them.co. but people also have ‘values’ within a given context. helping people.) Ask the same person what is important to them when choosing somewhere to live. and says “flexibility. If a person is buying insurance. and you are likely to get different criteria.Criteria Every person has things which are important to them. A person’s criteria in an influence situation are their ‘hot buttons’ within that context. freedom. doing a good job.”) The second way is to tell stories that refer to your criteria in the context. right next to the airport. The third way is to use specific questions to elicit someone’s criteria in a context. www. USE THEIR EXACT CRITERIA WORDS & PHRASES (in a subtle way) to let them know you understand. At a high level.
Things to pay attention to include: • • • • • Sensory language Criteria Number & content of the steps Gestures Eye movements Once you know what the strategy is. find out how they make that sort of decision. [wait for confirmation] How did you decide that?” At this point WATCH & LISTEN as they run you through their decision strategy.uk .saladltd. To find what someone’s decision strategy is in a given context. The process a person uses for making a decision is their ‘decision strategy’. you know it was a good decision. Want to know how you can find out how to persuade someone to make a decision in your favour? First. every time you think of it.Instant Replay (Decision Strategies) Human beings are very patterned. www. you can structure your persuasion process in the same way. NB: It is important to elicit the strategy they used for something they are happy with. just ask how they did it last time… “I’d like you to think of one of the times you made this sort of decision and.27 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . then structure your communication accordingly.co. and most people make important decisions in the same way every time.
I had never met him before. I once used this approach with the VP for Sales of a blue-chip company.saladltd. then close the deal! www.co. then I watched & listened.” He had already shown me how he accessed that state. He briefly accessed a certain state then said “I’d have to get something I could use to remain calm in difficult situations. where the session is (to some extent) an opportunity for them to demonstrate the services they are offering. I asked him the above question.28 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . the person has to imagine getting to the end of the session & being delighted (which is just where I want them) then gives me some criteria for getting there.uk .Asking for Miracles One of my favourite ways of persuading someone when there is limited time is to get in rapport & then ask the following question: “What would have to have happened by the end of this session for you to say ‘Jamie. anchor it. so it was fairly straightforward for me to get him back into it. I want you to come & work with me & my team?’” In order to answer the question. and managed to get an hour with him. This approach can be particularly useful for people offering professional services.
then either… • Deal with it in advance using the OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURES detailed below. Then build your intuition by guessing what objections you will get from an individual and use this approach to inoculate against them. and you have a choice about when to deal with them. www. You can deal with objections… • before they arise. eg. or… • after they arise Dealing with objections before they arise The great advantage of dealing with objections before they arise is… they never arise! Here’s how you do it: • Predict the objection or objections that your influencee is most likely to have. They tell you about what your influence subject is thinking. “Some people say ‘oooohhhh that’s so much money’ but I know that you appreciate the value that you’re going to get from this. or… • State the objection in an unpleasant tonality (whining.uk . NB – This is one place where bad tonality is really important – this method of inoculating against objections relies on it.29 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .co. then defuse them with a whiny voice. Unconsciously.Dealing with Objections The idea of objections is a natural part of the persuasion process. Allow yourself to start to identify in advance the objections your influence subject is likely to have. & can give you information about their needs.” TM It’s as simple as that. Now. I’ve taught this method to a number of people. no-one wants to associate themselves with the whiny voice. for instance). Challenge: Identify the main objections you get and practice stating them in a whiny / bad tonality voice. so they disassociate themselves from their objection.saladltd. and some of them say (hear this in a really unpleasant tone) – “I can’t imagine myself using that silly tone of voice when I talk to my customers” but I know that you can already appreciate just how powerful this is going to be for you.
“If we can resolve this cost issue. you change it’s meaning. Gather the information you need to help them solve their problem. here’s a meta-pattern you can use to deal with it: 1) Check that you’re in rapport.Dealing with objections after they arise If an objection does arise. • Metaphor – A metaphor can be a powerful way to overturn an objection. Also. If you are. Metaphor can be a powerful reframing tool. Find the positive intent behind the objection.” The response: “Even worse. Choose the one of the countermeasures and apply it. giving their reasons. what benefits would you get from coming on this course?” This gives them a safe space to imagine coming on it and feel good. establish whether or not it’s the real objection (Eg.uk . People will sometimes express interest in one of my courses.” I’ll say “If money were no object.” Find a way to change the meaning of someone’s objection. 2) 3) 4) OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM Here are some of the most powerful countermeasures to use once you have identified a genuine objection: • Safe Space – Get them to imagine a future where the objection doesn’t apply. I once heard the objection “I’m worried – What if I train my people and then they leave. what if you don’t train your people and they stay. Pace the objection (Eg. It’s much easier to influence someone when they are in a safe space! • Reframing – When you reframe someone’s objection. then say “I can’t afford it. If not. www. re-establish rapport through matching & mirroring. they’ll tell you what it really is.co. Tell them a story about someone else who had that objection & overcame it.saladltd. great.30 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . can we go ahead with the deal?”) If price isn’t the real objection. if someone says “it’s too expensive” you can say “I understand you think it’s too expensive”) Find the intent & gather information. Apply OBJECTION COUNTERMEASURESTM.
Alongside ‘hidden fears’. People Like (hidden wants / needs) • The familiar / predictable • Winning • Feeling clever or superior • Being seen to make a smart move People Don’t Like (hidden fears) • The unknown • Losing out • Feeling stupid • Being seen to make a mistake • Cost Objections can often result from people’s hidden needs & fears – they won’t mention them. or because you haven’t addressed the hidden needs & fears. address them before they ever get a chance to cause you problems. there are also what Chris Tomasulo refers to as ‘hidden wants & needs’. it is a matter of stacking up the benefits (highly valued ‘pluses’ they get as a result of going your way) and antibenefits (‘minuses’ they risk as a result of not going your way) so that they decide to go with your suggestion. Simple enough. When you are setting out to persuade or influence someone.31 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . needs. Ideally.Stacking Benefits People buy benefits. it is either because you haven’t stacked up the benefits. If you get a rejection from someone after establishing credibility. You can find ways to alleviate people’s unspoken fears & needs.co. then communicate it to them. but benefits & anti-benefits provide the motivation. www. they are very powerful in influencing someone’s decisions. but they’re there.saladltd. Many of the tools and techniques in this training will help you to smooth the passage. wants & desires & find a way that what you are offering can satisfy them. It is your job as a persuader to identify the person’s problems. In addition to the benefits a person states.uk .
When presenting your case. & you will build trust. and focus on it. let people know about your qualifications. people respond. When you demonstrate consistency. find something you like about them. It feels good to be with someone who likes you! • Scarcity – People can be motivated by scarcity.saladltd. If they think there is a limited amount of something.Cialdini’s Six Principles of Influence In Robert Cialdini’s excellent book Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion he identifies six principles of influence that operate on human beings at a level below conscious awareness.) • Authority / Credibility – People will respond more favourably to your message when you have credibility or authority. • Liking / Likeness – We like people who are like us – this is part of the power of rapport.uk . Find a way to get someone to ‘go on record’ about something. Also. establish yourself as an expert. admit a weakness or limitation first – this also builds credibility. they feel a sense of debt towards us. Challenge: Identify where these six principles are already available to you within your existing persuasion contexts. You can also use the fact that people don’t like to appear ‘flaky’. Always find ways to show your influencee how other people have benefited. say “You’d do the same for me” to harness the reciprocity in the situation. www.32 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . they will want it more. then start to capitalise on them. and they will be more likely to stick to it in future. This is heightened if there is competition for the scarce resource. hence the power of testimonials. • Consistency – People like what’s familiar. Find elements of likeness with another person. Find ways to build your credibility. as follows: • Reciprocity – When we do something for someone else. If you have something of value you can legitimately give to your influence subject. • Social Proof – Many people tend to do what others are doing. When they say thanks.co. then do so. If there are legitimate scarcities in your influence domain. tell people about it & reap the rewards (while supplies last.
You can ease into the questions with softeners like ‘I understand. and guide people’s awareness in certain directions.co.33 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . rapport counts – have the questioning be gentle.Questions Questions are extremely powerful.uk . Here are some powerful questions: Understanding the current situation • What are the major issues you are facing at the moment? • If you could change anything about your current service. As usual.) supplier? Amplifying possibility • What would have to happen for this to massively exceed your expectations? www. how would you know? Amplifying awareness of problems • What will things be like in (eg. what would it be? • What problems do you find with doing it this way? • How are your expectations not yet being met? Establishing Needs. Desires • What do you want? • How will you know you’ve got it? What will you see. listen & strategise based on the patterns they are showing you.saladltd.) twelve months if you do nothing? • What are you least happy with about your current (eg. the more opportunities you get to watch. feel & hear? • If you woke up tomorrow & everything was just as you’d like it to be. and…’ or ‘That’s interesting…’. The more questions you ask. not Paxmanesque. Wants.
2001 Society of NLP Trainer Training Manual. Routledge. McKenna Breen. 2001 Whispering In The Wind. 1989 Neuro Hypnotic RepatterningTM Manual.uk . J & C Enterprises. Richard Bandler and John La Valle.co. Terence Hawkes.saladltd. John Grinder & Carmen Bostic St. Richard Bandler.34 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Clair.Bibliography Metaphor. Society of NLP. 1999 www.
Smart: The fastest way there is to build your hypnotic language skills.Reading & Resources Persuasion & Influence (order the books at www. Bandler & Grinder: The first ‘popular’ NLP book. Ethical Influence with NLP. Smart: An 8CD set focusing on persuasion and influence.saladltd. Moine & Lloyd: The patterns of Ericksonian hypnosis applied. NLP: The New Technology of Achievement. Bandler & La Valle: NLP and sales – from two masters in the field. NLP Comprehensive: A bumper crop of ‘personal development’ NLP techniques and some background about the field.co. www.uk . and is packed with stories.uk. Available at www. Persuasion Engineering.co.com – Chris Tomasulo’s persuasion newsletter.uk • Frogs Into Princes. Great for clearing ‘sales call reluctance’. www. this is a transcript of a number of seminars given by Bandler and Grinder.co. Cialdini and others in the field.com – Gary Craig’s website with the free Emotional Freedom Therapy manual you can download. to sales.saladltd.saladltd.emofree.saladltd. available at www. Ericksonian Hypnosis Cards. Unlimited Selling Power.co.uk) • Irresistible Influence Cards.saladltd.saladltd.uk.covertcommunication. Available at www. Smart: The fastest way there is to build your persuasion & influence language skills. available at www.co.co. pattern by pattern. incorporating NLP. Influence: The Science of Persuasion. Smart: A 6CD set introducing NLP and covering the core skills in the NLP skillset.35 ©2004 Jamie Smart • www. Robert Cialdini: Cialdini’s seminal work on influence & persuasion.uk • • • • • • • NLP • NLP for Business & Personal Success. Hypnosis. .
saladltd.Appendix A – Exercises www.36 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk .co.
A thinks of a situation in which they become deeply involved with a limited focus of attention. because).37 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .uk .Pacing & Leading 1. and names it (one word). while. start including descriptions of the experience from exercise 1. 1. then describe their present experience. Ask A to close their eyes. When person A is as deeply into the experience as before.) Follow this by 3 verifiable & 2 non-verifiable. B & C take turns describing what must be in A’s experience. but B & C limit their descriptions to what must be there in sensory experience. 1981 This version ©2002Jamie Smart. B & C. All Rights Reserved www. 4. transitions etc. then give them positive suggestions for learning. cycling through the three main representation systems (VAK) as you do so. 2 verifiable & 3 non-verifiable etc. using 4 sensory-based descriptions (verifiable) followed by 1 internal description (non-verifiable. enjoyment and feeling good.co. 5.saladltd. match your speaking pace to the pace of person A’s breathing. 3. start violating the principles of trance (voice speed. 2. and. After B & C have had several rounds.) Describe A’s present experience. Repeat exercise 1. Now use the skills you’ve learned to guide A into a trance. making 3 verifiable statements followed by 1 nonverifiable statement (use transition words like as. smooth pacing. Other trance inductions you can investigate • Re-accessing a previous trance state • Overlapping representational systems • Naturally occurring trance states • Non-verbal inductions • Leverage induction • Pattern interrupts • Overload • Personal power • Stacking realities Adapted from Trance-formations by Bandler & Grinder. Repeat exercise 4.
saladltd. may have had little or no impact on you. savouring mouthful after delicious mouthful of smoky fillet. I plunged my fork into a steak the size of an encyclopaedia & sawed off a juicy morsel of some of the tenderest.38 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . saw a very attractive person this afternoon. using the language of all five senses.co.uk .Representation Systems Exercises 1) Read the following sentence & notice what effect it has: “I ate a steak yesterday” The sentence is fairly unspecified &. had a delicious desert last night. I I I I I I walked through the park this morning. sat in the garden yesterday. 2) • • • • • • Write out the following sentences. I smacked my lips & let out a loud “Mmmmm”. watched a great film the other day. Contrast this with the following: “At lunchtime yesterday. bloodiest red meat I’ve eaten in ages. www. As the sharp aroma of the green peppercorn sauce reached my nose. unless you are a Hindu. lay in a hot bath yesterday evening. a staunch vegetarian or very very hungry.
B delivers the reframe. B & C observe A’s responses. B & C) 1. 2. taking the form “I’m too X.” or “He’s too Y. 3. 3. “What else could this (X) mean?” or “What else could this situation mean?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. A states a complaint or issue. choose A.Reframing Content Reframe (in groups of 3. www. choose A. B & C) 1. A states a complaint.uk . 5. 2. B asks A to repeat the complaint. 4. B & C observe A’s responses.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “In what contexts would the characteristic they’re complaining about have value?” B thinks of several alternative ways to deliver the reframe & chooses one. 5. B delivers the reframe.” B generates a reframe of the complaint by asking themselves “What else could this (Y) mean?”. B asks A to repeat the complaint. taking the form “I feel X when Y happens. Context Reframe (in groups of 3.saladltd.co.39 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . 4.
When B goes into the state. mimicry. etc. expression. anchor the state or states elicited. Repeat exercise 4.co. A anchors it. Use all your hypnotic language skills to deliver suggestions to B.uk . Clowning is permitted. Repeat exercise 1. anchor the state or states elicited. When the second story is complete.40 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . with A being highly expressive. Again. www.saladltd. ie. Again. A tells B a story with the intention of a) holding their attention & b) eliciting a certain state. finish the first story. anchor the state or states elicited. Repeat exercise 3.Expressive Storytelling Exercises Done in pairs. 2. setting an additional goal for rapid learning etc. 3 Repeat exercise 2. anchor the state or states elicited. with A using characterisation. Again. ‘act as if’ you are the different characters or states as you access them. 4. Be sure to include: • • • Extremes of volume Different tonalities Different facial expressions Again. gestures. using tonality. 5. A & B 1. interrupting the story part way through to tell a second story.
Imagine you're flying a sophisticated fighter plane in the midst of a midair dogfight. I lose the feedback and can no longer effectively "aim" my communication.even the best and most effective listeners switched off their antennae as soon as they began to speak. www. Similarly..uk . It came as no surprise to me when I first came across the oft-quoted research of Professor Alfred Mehrabian. test subjects responded 55% of the time to the message being conveyed through body language. please forward it on! I remember being told as a child that: "You were given two ears and one mouth so that you could listen twice as much as you talk". though I must admit that I couldn't for the life of me figure out the implications of that one! :-) Fortunately. but you would effectively be "firing blind" when it came to your own attempts. When you are comfortable doing that. proceed to step two. the danger with only listening when the other person is talking is that any purposeful conversation is a kind of an ongoing feedback loop – I say something to you. I began to notice a curious phenomenon . we should be able to usefully continue listening to someone even when they stop speaking. Partly. Mehrabian set up studies in incongruent communication .. 38% of the time to the message being conveyed through tonality. The very same people who could empathize so wonderfully with a disgruntled employee or pick up on the limiting assumptions in a client's litany of woes were utterly unable to notice when they were boring their conversation partners rigid at a dinner party.") Unsurprisingly to anyone who's ever attempted to ask directions in a foreign country or talked utter nonsense to a baby or small child.Daily Coaching Tip Number 249 . A particular variation of listening that I developed for myself was what I call "wholebody" listening .saladltd.i. and based on your reaction. and a different message with their words (for example. as I matured. I was quick to realize that I'd also been given two nostrils and one rear-end. it occurred to me that if over 50% of listening is picking up on pure body language and energy.July 1. If the plane's radar only registered whenever the enemy plane was firing. If I stop listening to you the moment I open my mouth. communication in which a person was giving off "mixed messages". but with a bit of practice it will utterly transform your communication (and your relationships!) for the better. (or what my fellow Southern Californians call "vibe" :-). motivated by my love of talking.e. Choose any item in your immediate environment and begin to describe it aloud.listening with my eyes and heart as well as my ears. no doubt. and a staggeringly low 7% of the time to the actual words being used! Now.co. 2001 If you enjoy this tip. you might well be able to avoid the worst of the incoming barrage. "You're a horrible person. Yet as I studied listening more carefully.. (a preference which will come as no surprise to regular readers of these tips). Experimenters would attempt to convey one message with their body and/or tonality (for example "I love you"). I did come to recognize the benefits of listening in building and healing relationships of every kind.41 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . I adapt my communication accordingly. Keep your attention on the object you are describing as you are describing it. Today's Experiment: 1. Today's experiment is surprisingly difficult for most people when they first try it.
co.42 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . Have fun.Communicating vs.. learn heaps. 3. If you wish to unsubscribe from the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week.If you enjoyed this week's tip.. "Thinking Aloud" Not all talking is for the purpose of communication.uk . you will practice the hidden art of "listening while talking". set the intention of keeping your attention on the other person both when you are listening and when you are talking. Now. you may want to consider attending our teleclass on "Creating Conversational Change".e. etc. you are ready to bring this skill to bear in your more important conversations and exchanges. Click on the link or visit our website at http://www. or friend.com/ to find out more! How to Subscribe If you wish to receive the Daily Coaching Tip of the Week every Monday morning. "This ring is gold with little knobbly bits on it and it was made by a jeweler named John Scott in Camden Lock and it's round and it has some dimpled impressions in the gold and my wife has an identical ring with diamonds in the dimples that I got her for our first anniversary and it has a bit of dirt which has collected between the knobbly bits. When you can keep your attention firmly on the other person and still make intelligent conversation.com. please send a blank e-mail with the word "subscribe" in the subject line to: subscribe@dailycoachingtip. Sometimes. please send a blank e-mail with the word 'unsubscribe' in the subject line to: email@example.com ©2000. trainer. Choose a conversation to practice with where it would be OK if you were not particularly effluent. When you are engaged in the conversation. switch back and forth between describing the object aloud and telling a story about it. it is best to let your attention wander where it will.2. In these instances. ex. partner. (i. 4. we speak purely in order to hear ourselves think.saladltd. don't try this for the first time while attempting to close that million dollar sale or when trying to convince your partner that you really do love them)! Decide that for the duration of this conversation. gently bring your attention back to the other person. 2001 Michael Neill All Rights Reserved www." You're ready to move on to step three when you can switch between description and story without having to re-direct your attention inwards to figure out what to say next. salesperson. If you notice your attention wandering or you become aware that you've "gone inside" your head. be they in a role as coach. The Coach PS . still keeping your attention at all times on the object you are describing. and keep listening! Until tomorrow. Bonus Tip .dailycoachingtip.
saladltd. The Top 25 Influence Tips. • • • BUY NOW to receive this AMAZING OFFER: 1. Price: Download Bundle : £77.43 - ©2004 Jamie Smart .00 CD Bundle : £107. then lead people where you want to take them Get people to tell you exactly what you need to do to persuade them Use hypnotic influencing skills to press their "buy this now" buttons Get the 6 principles of influence to work for you.More Information salad the influence collection “Discover How You Can Become Irresistibly Influential. Ethical Influence with NLP Audio (CD or Download) 2.co. The Top 10 Secrets of Ethically Outrageous Influence & Persuasion for the Salesman.uk .00 Click Here to Order Now Click Here to Order Now (VAT & Shipping charges added where appropriate) Get it RISK-FREE with the salad guarantee! You can get yours now at www. Before Your Competition Do” Ethical Influence with NLP You may have heard that NLP is particularly powerful in the areas of communication and influence. By the time you finish listening to the recording of this three-day intensive workshop with Jamie Smart. rather than against you Captivate people’s attention and lead them into an ideal persuasion state Use the secrets of subliminal persuasion ethically. Now is your opportunity to harness its power for yourself.Ethical Influence with NLP Manual. FREE BONUS of 4 E-Books . and use it to attract more of what you want into your life. You may be aware of some of the astonishing results that NLP can deliver.co. Irresistible Influence Cards 3.uk or ring 0845 650 1045 to place your order right away www. & stop them being used against you! Turn hesitation into motivation and take decisive action. you will be able to: • • • • Build rapport in moments.saladltd.
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When he isn’t helping other people get what they want. as well as the principal trainer.uk . and he has spent from 1996 to the present day learning from the finest teachers and materials. mission-critical business projects and change programmes.co. He lives in Leicestershire (UK). he likes going for long walks in the woods. an e-zine which goes to thousands of people around the world each week (available from www. Specific thanks to… • • • • • • • • • Richard Bandler John Grinder Joseph Riggio Eric Robbie Jo Cooper Peter Seal Timothy Leary Marianne Williamson Michael Breen • Sháá Wasmund • • • • • • • • • Robert Dilts Sid Jacobson Jonathan Altfeld Robert Anton Wilson Ian Watson Michael Neill John La Valle Paul McKenna Christina Hall www. Jamie is an NLP Master Practitioner and is licensed by Richard Bandler and the Society of NLP as a Trainer of Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP).About the Author Jamie Smart is the Managing Director of Salad Seminars Ltd. This fascination led him to NLP.saladltd.co.46 - ©2004 Jamie Smart . listening to music and reading. Jamie is author of The NLP Tip. Thanks to anyone whose efforts have made their way into this work. and applying what he’s learned. Acknowledgements I’ve been fortunate to learn from a number of great NLP Trainers and other innovative thinkers and teachers.saladltd. In the process. He spent much of the nineties leading large. and became fascinated with helping people achieve the results they want. as well as the creator of Ericksonian Hypnosis CardsTM and many other products.uk). he found that individual change is the key to collective change.
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