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Coyote Dreams

Coyote Dreams

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Published by Randy Kemp
This is a novel in draft form.
This is a novel in draft form.

More info:

Published by: Randy Kemp on Nov 20, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


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Midnight and no souls were stirring, not even a parrot or monkey. The corn, planted in the fields

surrounding the McCoy farm, could hide members of the NBA elite. Instead the corn was cover to the

three Musketeers and their daring rescue.

Adrian was using his new mystic senses, picking up visions in his third eye, with Moose snoring and

cutting a fart, Bubbles giggling, Polly Morphine yelling, “Pretty Bird”, Mojo pacing back and forth,

Ann’s breathing, and Igor smoking a cigarette. He turned toward Doc and Rumi.

“What’s the situation kid?” asked Doc.

“Everyone looks to be alive and breathing.”

“Do you concur, Rumi?” asked Doc.

“Fit as a fiddle,” responded Rumi.

Doc pulled out a couple of hunter calls – one to bag ducks and another for turkeys. He handed

them to Adrian.

“You send a telepathic message to Rumi if you get in trouble. If you can’t, then sound the duck call.

Use the turkey call to flush out the kidnappers. Now let’s start this disappearing hocus pocus.”

Adrian repeated a mystic phrase Rumi shared with him. He remembered Rumi saying it must be

repeated every twenty minutes or he would be seen again. The mantra had a telepathic effect on human

minds and caused them not to notice the person. Shortly Adrian would disappear from Doc’s sight.

“I see it, but I don’t believe it,” said Doc.

“You don’t see it but you do believe it,” replied Rumi.

“I got my bird calls, and I’m ready to go,” said Adrian, disappearing into the corn.

“Sometimes the kid’s as sharp as Sam Spade and other times as befuddled as Jethro Bodine,” said

Doc, shaking his head.

Rumi and Doc watched the corn moving in a fixed spot, like a blip dancing on the radar screen. But

Adrian’s mystic senses were focused and he could see shapes in the dark. Two were sitting on a

scarecrow and he noticed four pairs of crow eyes. The crows saw the corn moving and, taking a liking

to Adrian, flew down to investigate. Each one landed on Adrian’s shoulders and simultaneously

became Adrian’s shoulder ornaments. As Adrian kept walking through the cornfield, the crows were

enjoying a free ride.

As the crows kept up their midnight ride, Adrian reflected. I wonder if this ever happened to the

invisible man? Rumi teaches me this mystic phrase and what do I get? Two crows are hitching a ride

and not paying for the fare. How am I supposed to rescue anyone with these two varmints hanging

around? I suppose I should give them a name. I believe I’ll call them Hackle and Jackal. All right,

you goldbricks, you can catch a free ride. But if I need to swing into action, you fellows go join the

owls. How can you tell a female crow from a male crow? Hey! Maybe these birds are good omens,

and I should let them tag along!

Adrian reached the farmhouse and barn, but was still hidden in the cornfield. He heard Mojo snoring,

and saw Moose walking outside standing guard and Igor flipping cards in the kitchen. Inside, Bubbles

woke up and started laughing. The crows still on top of him, Adrian pulled out the turkey whistle and

started blowing out turkey calls. Moose looked around to where the invisible Adrian stood.

“Something doesn’t add up,” said Moose, looking at the crows. “I heard a turkey but see two crows.

I know a crow doesn’t sound like a turkey, unless they’re one of them genetic tinker birds those mad

scientists crank out. That’s got to be the answer.”

Moose pulled out his gun, forcing Adrian to lie down flat but failing to shake the two crows. As he

lay in the corn, he felt the birds on his back and started thinking. These birds want a free ride and must

think I’m the wind or something. And Moose thinks I’m a genetic turkey crow or crow turkey,

depending on how you look at it. If only I could get scare these crows and… Adrian crawled over to

the scarecrow and cut some rope off with a Swiss army knife. He then crawled over to a big cornstalk

and pulled it toward himself. As Moose passed by with his flashlight and gun, Adrian let the cornstalk

fly forward and the corn struck Moose in the face. Before Moose could react, Adrian knocked the gun

away, and Moose flew through the air and landed on the ground. Moose felt strands of strong rope

binding his arms and legs and every time he tried to get up, he felt himself being forced back to ground

zero. As he tried to look back, all he could see were crows dancing around.

“Wait a minute,” said Moose. “Since when does a turkey crow bind my arms and legs? Yet I can’t

see any humans.”

The last thing Moose felt was a big ear of corn stuffed in his mouth, wrapped by a piece of cloth

across the back of his head. Adrian heard Mojo flipping through a magazine and Igor playing cards.

Adrian had put the turkey call in his pocket to capture Moose. He reached for the turkey call and

couldn’t tell the call by feeling it. He pulled out the calls and found himself with three, instead of two.

Now which is the turkey call. The Duck call has this little duck image on the surface. Doc handed me

three calls instead of two and I’m lucky to pick the turkey call on my first try. Perhaps if I put the duck

call back and just try one of these. I have a fifty/fifty chance. Here goes nothing.

Adrian circled around the barn and blew the whistle, “Cock a do dodo do. Cock a do dodo due.”

This whistle sounds like a sick rooster on an all night toot with a splitting hangover, Adrian thought.

“Hey Mojo!” Igor yelled out the window. “I didn’t notice a rooster in this farm. Can you or Moose

put it out of its misery?”

“I don’t know where Moose is,” replied Mojo, opening the barn door and sticking his head out.

“Should I go look for Moose or the rooster?”

“Find them both,” yelled Igor.

Outside was an abandoned outhouse, and Adrian stood behind it, blowing the rooster call.

Mojo walked around the barn, just in time to see two crows turning a corner. He heard a rooster call

echoing in the background, pulled out his revolver, walking toward the next corner, but unaware that

Adrian had set a trap, and thinking the rooster was inside, opened the door and positioned his revolver,

only to have Adrian grab his arm, swinging him forward. The movement dislodged his revolver and

forced him into the upright seat and down into the smelly interior.

“Someone’s going to pay for this,” yelled Mojo from the commode bottom, but the rooster call

drowned out his yell.

Adrian focused his third eye toward the house, listening to Igor play cards and Ann breathing

normally upstairs. He needed a plan to distract Igor, but first he would check on the animals. Hackle

and Jackal were still hitching a ride and he felt like Noah, going to retrieve the monkey and parrot. He

snuck into the back door and Bubbles jumped into his arms, while Polly Morphine kept yelling, “pretty


While Adrian was focused on the animals, Igor was curious about what was causing Bubbles to act

up. He grabbed his gun, and Ann and headed for the barn. Adrian was so caught up with the animals

that he wasn’t focusing on his mystic senses. Even worse, he was losing concentration, rendering him

visible to Igor. Igor had the gun pointed toward Adrian, and Ann was in the line of fire.

“What do we have here?” Igor asked. “Doctor Doolittle?’

“What?” Adrian asked, surprised at Igor sneaking up on him. “Ann, are you OK?”

“She’s fine for now,” Igor said to Ann. “Go over there and join Prince Charming.”

Ann walked over to Adrian and hugged him and Bubbles. Igor clicked the gun and Bubbles started

to smile, with Adrian shortly joining her. Above Igor’s head were stacks of baled hay. One of the

stacks decided to try bungee jumping and use Igor’s head as a net. As the haystack fell, it knocked Igor

out and a song echoed from the barn top. Adrian walked over by Igor and scanned his energy field,

looking for any broken bones or injuries. He again looked up and heard a singing voice.

“London haystacks falling down,

Falling down, falling down.

London haystacks falling down,

My fair lady.”

“Coyote?” Ann asked, looking at Adrian.

“Who else? Igor appears to be all right.”

“What do we do now?” Ann asked.

Again the barn roof provided a musical answer.

“Take the keys and lock them up,

Lock them up. Lock them up.

Take the keys and lock them up,

My fair lady.”

“Find something to tie Igor up, while I signal for help,” said Adrian, becoming Donald and Daffy

duck with his call.

Ann found some duct tape in the barn tool kit and proceeded to tie Igor up, while Adrian opened the

barn door and started quacking away, and heard Doc and Rumi in the distance.

“Everything’s under control!” shouted Adrian, who was aware that Doc was surveying the area with

infrared binoculars while Rumi was attempting telepathic contact.

“Rumi,” said Adrian telepathically. “Tell Doc I got the situation under control and need his help

wrapping things up.”

Adrian heard Rumi speaking to Doc and he observed Doc and Rumi coming through the corn.

Adrian was also aware he had Hackle and Jackal on his shoulders, and Bubbles was pulling on his leg

and he picked her up and held her. Doc exited through the corn and shone his flashlight on Adrian.

“Who are you trying to be?” Doc asked. “Doctor DoLittle? And where are Mojo, Moose, and Igor?”

“Igor is in the barn, knocked out by a haystack. Moose is tied up in the cornfield and Mojo fell into

the latrine.”

“Latrine?” Doc asked, cracking up. Shortly, Bubbles and Rumi joined him in a good round of

laughter, while Ann stepped out of the barn.

“You all right, Ann?” asked Adrian. “I was so busy before, I forgot to ask.’

“I’m fine, thanks to you,” Ann said, as she kissed him, Doc took out his cellular phone.

“Who are you calling?” Rumi inquired.

“Tiny and company, to clean things up,” said Doc.

“Wouldn’t they kill them?” Adrian said, a bit worried.

“They will trade them for the money Scorpion stole. Believe me. These gentlemen will be too

embarrassed from this whole incident to bother us for a long time.”

Adrian looked over his left and right shoulders and noticed Hackle and Jackal were still hanging

around. Bubbles noticed Ann’s kiss, tried to give Adrian one also, but he kept turning his head around.

Doc finished the phone call, then left to find Moose and Mojo. Ann grabbed the parrot cage, only to

notice Polly Morphine had learned a new song that he continued for the next two hours.

“London haystacks falling down,

Falling down. Falling down…”

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