She¶s Murmuring Words by Te-Erika

I¶m sick And no its not HIV Those fake letters got nothing on the demon that resides inside of me Mentally he¶s killing me He lives with me Breathes in me Whispers to me Consistently And I debate with him Quite audibly You see me You watch me freak Responding to an imaginary voice That¶s suffocates my best me Maybe self-improvement isn't the answer Maybe self-destruction is the key Cuz if I could manage to murder that beast It may release me from captivity They want to dim my light Take these and forget about he Walk and talk like they do Become a cog in the wheel like me

I was born to be a healer This tragic gift guides me But the burden behind the gift released Is the crosses I burn internally I cracked open my own skull Sat it down next to the TV Poked about and shocked I found the answer Though I couldn¶t grasp its meaning I¶m sick But I wasn¶t born this way Shell shocked on a planet that forgot how to love I try to send love & light your way You shoot back daggers and twisted rainbows I pull you close to my breast You reach through me and pierce my heart And I let you walk away You tell me to follow you But I feel the sting of each step Your methods taze my inner me Til I¶m sick within myself I talk to myself I have to Cuz outside my head no one understands This fake ass world

These fake ass plans Chasing fake ass dreams Made by fake ass men I now withstand your blows But to do this I had to let go Of heaven and hell And fables and tales Taught to rob me and teach me Through men¶s twisted meanings And I buzz when I see him And I buzz when he¶s near me And I buzz when you touch me And I buzz when you see me So I tip toe through vinings and ashes and dust Please Stand back Don¶t get too close She¶s murmuring She¶s doing it again Watch her and laugh She¶s a loon-loony bin But if you had guts If you had the gift You could sift through my chatter And see the brilliance I talk to myself

To remind myself That although this isn¶t home I am purposed here In this body This faulty transportation Lives a fantastic spirit Looking for its matching flame But he came And rubbed me Touched me Through my tears I called Mama And he rubbed me Rubbed it All out So I talk to myself To remind myself That the demon lives here But here Isn¶t eternal

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