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Anti-bullying: Role of Parents

Anti-bullying: Role of Parents

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Published by PJ Naidu
This article was authored by Rani Manda, Academic Consultant of Vikramasimhapuri University, Nellore.
This article was authored by Rani Manda, Academic Consultant of Vikramasimhapuri University, Nellore.

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Published by: PJ Naidu on Dec 12, 2010
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ISSN: 0976-3759

Journal of School Social Work Price Rs 20.00
A National School Social Work monthly dedicated to networking of parents and teachers.

Volume V I Issue 07 I Editorial Curbing Cyber Bullying Steps to Reduce Peer Bullying


December 2010 Page 02 03 09 13 16 19 22 26 29 31

Rekha N Mistry Raja P Dr Saraswathi L Therapies for Bullies and Bullied Uma L Bullying – An Overview Lucy Josephine A Dr Kalamathi A Behaviourism and Bullying Radha Vallury Bullying : A Psycho-social Disorder Kalaiarasi M Bullying: A Social Evil Padmini M Anti-bullying: Role of Parents Rani Manda Can Bullying be Eradicated? Sripriya P Dr Kalaimathi A

Focus: Bullying
Hony. Special Editor: Ramesh K S, Head and Student Consellor, P G Department of Social Work Mar Gregorios College, Mogappair, Chennai Journal of School Social W o k r,
8 (New 14), Sridevi Colony, Seventh Avenue, Ashok Nagar, Chennai 600 083 Mobile: 98406 02325 E-mail: jssw.india@gmail.com
Note: Views expressed by the contributors are not necessarily the official view of the Journal.

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Editorial Can Bullies Go Scot-free? Earth is considered as Mother in teachers between 2002 and 2005 Hindu Mythology and meant to across Dehra Dun, Mussoorie and provide equal space and opportunity Chandigarh found that students had to all organisms that are inter bullying experiences both on the dependent on each other to live playground and in the classrooms. peacefully. The human race, being The report also says, even in the age unique has taken control over all the group of 14 to 18 years, 58.7% boys other species and edged them out and 65.09% girls reported bullying. with the so called sixth sense. And Forms of bullying may vary among now, through bullying, some of us boys and girls but the news that more want to edge out the weak, deprived than 2,300 children committed and voiceless ones amongst us. suicide last year many of which According to Dan Olweus, the directly attributed to bullying at Swedish researcher, bullying can be schools, is shocking to say the least. physical, psychological, emotional, That ‘bullying’ happens at every social or economic independently or stage of life, at all the times and in all in any combination. Modernity has parts of the world is not an excuse. added a new menace in the form of But, if it happens in India with its cyber bullying. culture of demonstrated tolerance The largest research on violence even towards the aggressors, it is to against children (of both sexes) be considered seriously and every conducted in 2007 by the Ministry of effort made to nip it in the bud. Women and Child Development, So, school social workers have to be Government of India revealed that appointed to make schools safe for two out of three children were children. Correcting bullies without physically abused and every other compromising the bullied, is the real child faced one or more forms of challenge for School Social Work. sexual abuse. But, is bullying restricted to children The Bullying Research Initiative in and commoners? Not so anymore. Training and Education (BRITE) in its if WikiLeaks is to be believed, even survey of school students and diplomats are bullies! 0 Journal of S C H O O L SOCIAL WORK 2 December 2010


Anti-bullying: Role of Parents
Rani Manda*

* Rani Manda, Academic Consultant, Department of Social Work, Vikramasimhapuri University, Nellore, 524001, AP. Introduction Although, bullying is common in all schools, only half of the children report, what is happening in their schools, to a parent and even fewer to a teacher. Especially the rural girl students do not report for fear that they will be stopped by their parents from attending school. Sometimes bullying can also be perpetrated by teachers and the school system itself. Any harsh punishment given to students in the name of discipline tantamounts to bullying by the authorities. As parents we have to find their deficits and equip our children with coping skills to manage any situation and arrive at a negotiated settlement and not be violent or be violated upon. Factors of bullying There is no single reason why some children become bullies or victims. Children who are impulsive, dominant, confrontational or easily frustrated may also prone to have bullying behaviours. And other characteristics of children who bully others may be lack of empathy, a propensity to question authority and push limits or break rules, worship of violence and the ability to talk their way out of difficult situations. Although, some of the bullies may even be popular, the popularity of a bully tends to decrease at highergrade levels. Further studies have proved that envy and resentment may be the motives of bullying. Care of parents and teachers will help victims to fight against bullying and the aggressors to mend their ways. Therefore, it is very necessary for parents to take the right steps to ease the situation. Role of parents If your child is being bullied, do not take it lightly. Teach the child to be confident and brave. Make sure that the child understands that he must not be blamed by others. Perhaps, these children may develop low self-esteem and begin doubting themselves. Sometimes they may feel that December 2010 2 9

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something must be wrong with them. Make sure you let your child know that he is as equal as and as important as anybody else. Listen to your child fully and don’t cut them short or blame them. It can be very difficult for them to talk to anyone about it. Talk with your child and work out ways of solving the problem. Never encourage retaliation or hurting the bully in any way. Find out the bullies and talk with their parents. Raise it in the PTA (ParentTeacher Association) meeting. School based programmes Every child has a right to be treated respectfully. Schools play a pivotal role to stop bullying because most aggression happens on school grounds during recess, in lunch rooms, or in latrines. It is strongly believed that school based programmes can help reduce

bullying when they raise awareness of bullying through the school assemblies and classroom discussions. These talks should include the art of accepting differences, healthy ways to control anger and understanding the plight of children with special needs. They should be taught the value of cooperation, communication skills and friendship. All schools should have a zero tolerance policy to bullying. Conclusion Bullying is a social menace. It has a long term effect on the victim resulting in academic under achievement or even an attempt to end one’s life. However, violence can’t be curbed by violence. Punitive means of correction backfires. The victim is shocked and may even feel guilty when the aggressor is punished or humiliated. In the mean time, showing kindness where firmness is the natural consequence confuses the bully. Use discretion.


Can Bullying be Eradicated?
Sripriya P* Kalaimathi A**

*Sripriya P, Monitoring and Evaluation Specialist, Tamil Nadu Empowerment and Poverty Reduction Project, Chennai **Dr Kalaimathi A, Professor and Director i/c, Mother Teresa Women’s University, Kodaikanal.

References: Martin NC (2008): Children in Self-care, Journal of School Social Work, V-07, pp 23. Rani Manda (2009): Cyber Communication- Scope for Counselling, Journal of School Social Work, VI-03, pp 15. www.wikipedia.org/wiki/School bullying www.stopbullyingnow.com/

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Introduction head, will not look people in the eye, Bullying is a phenomenon adversely and backs off from others and affecting many aspects of one’s life comes home with unexplainable and is indulged in clandestinely by scratches and bruises. Suddenly both boys and girls of all ages. develops a stammer or stutter, Identification of the aggressor and Sudden change in behaviour (bedthe victim is very important to initiate wetting, nail-biting, tics) necessary remedial measures. Angry, irritable, disruptive, Signs of being bullied aggressive, quick-tempered, and Parents and teachers must watch out fights back (but always loses). the signs of children being bullied at Feelings of insecurity – cautious, the early stage. Early identification clinging, anxious and fearful. will reduce the menace of bullying Overly concerned about safety. and may even eradicate it. Spends a lot of time and effort Sudden decrease in school thinking or worrying about getting attendance or skipping certain safely to and from school and classes and decline in quality of getting around in the school (to and academic performance. from lunch/ latrine). Complaints of frequent illness or Talks about avoiding certain areas feigned illness (headaches, of the school or certain routes. stomachaches, pains) Identification of the bully Difficulty in concentrating in class Seeks to dominate or manipulate and easily distracted. Seems happy others (Olweus, 1993) on weekends but unhappy and Has a gang around mostly. preoccupied or tense on Mondays. Impulsive with low tolerance of Often hunches shoulders, hangs frustration (Olweus, 1993). Journal of S C H O O L SOCIAL WORK December 2010 3 1

Journal of School Social Work English Monthly.

ISSN: 0976-3759

Registered with Registrar of Newspapers for India underNo.TNENG/2004/14389.

Postal Registration TN/CC(S) Dn/ 47 / 09-11. Licensed to post under WPP No. TN/CC(S) Dn/ 34/09-11. Loves to win at all cost. A poor studies say they may do poorly and boastful winner. (Schwartz, 2006; Ericson, 2001). Sadistically enjoys others’ hurt. Bully can be a victim of bullying Interprets ambiguous or innocent (Crawford, 2002). acts as purposeful and hostile and Conclusion strikes out at others. Parents, teachers, administrators, Have no empathy or compassion law enforcing authorities and media for others (Olweus, 1993). together with counselling Is more likely to get into trouble, professionals can fight the deep smoke, drink, and fight (Nansel et rooted malignancy. Awareness al., 2001; Ericson, 2001) programmes, remedial classes, peer Breaks school/ class rules mediation and project works that Defiant or oppositional to adults. foster friendship can be employed to Antisocial or lacks social skills. foster values of human dignity, living Has average or above-average with diversity and the much needed performance in school. Some empathy to eradicate bullying.
References: Olweus D(1993): Bullying at School: What We Know and What We Can Do, Blackwell, Cambridge. Nansel T R et al. (2001): Bullying behaviours among US youth: Prevalence and association with psychosocial adjustment. Journal of the American Medical Association, 285(16), 2094–2100. Schwartz, D et al (1998): Peer group victimization as a predictor of children’s behaviour problems at home and in school, Development and Psychopathology, 10, 87–99. www.ncjrs.gov/ pdffiles1/ojjdp/fs200127.pdf.

Published and owned by P. Jayachandran Naidu. Published from 8, Sridevi Colony, 7th Avenue, Ashok Nagar, Chennai 600083 and printed by T. Rajaguru at TRK Press, 39, Saidapet Road, Vadapalani, Chennai 600026. Editor: P. Jayachandran Naidu. 3 Journal of S C H O O L SOCIAL WORK December 2010 2

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