P. 1
Designing Your Life

Designing Your Life

|Views: 54|Likes:
Published by John Chancellor

More info:

Published by: John Chancellor on Dec 18, 2010
Copyright:Attribution Non-commercial


Read on Scribd mobile: iPhone, iPad and Android.
download as DOC, PDF, TXT or read online from Scribd
See more
See less






  • Your core values and beliefs
  • Open mindset
  • Getting clear
  • Setting Goals
  • Taking action
  • Time
  • Making money
  • Locus of Control
  • Where do beliefs come from?
  • Why are habits so powerful?
  • Prosperity – Scarcity Mindset
  • The competitive – collaborative mindset
  • Fast food mindset
  • How does our mindset affect our lives?
  • What is a growth mindset?
  • How can we develop a growth mindset?
  • Exercises:
  • Why is it important to be clear?
  • Techniques for getting clear
  • SMART Goals
  • Specific
  • Measurable
  • Attainable
  • Realistic
  • Short-term goals:
  • Living in the present moment
  • Housecleaning
  • Some tools
  • Your level of Desire
  • One last thought about your goals
  • Identify fear
  • So what is money?
  • How much can you earn?
  • How do you decide on a product or service?
  • What is the most important skill in business?
  • Life time value of a customer
  • Develop customers for life
  • Who is on your team?
  • What is holding you back?
  • Additional resources
  • Business books:
  • Mentors/coaches
  • State why you want to achieve this goal:
  • What will be the changes in your life as a result of achieving this goal?
  • Is it specific?
  • Is the goal measurable?
  • Is it attainable?
  • Is it realistic?
  • Plan of Action

Designing Your Life

John Chancellor

© Teach the Soul – 2007


Table of Contents Introduction
You have the power to design your life. Designing your life is a process. Nothing magic, just follow the steps

Core Beliefs
Your core beliefs determine your actions. If you want your circumstances to change, you must change your core beliefs.

Mindset is an established set of attitudes. We need to have an open mindset. A closed mindset will not allow us to expand, grow and accept new things.

Getting Clear
Too often we do not reach our goals because we are not totally clear. You must get clear about what you want. Hitting a target requires that we know what we are aiming at.

Setting Goals
Learn how to set goals. Learn what a SMART goal is. Set goals that are positive.

Taking Action
Nothing matters unless you take action on your goals. Become a person of action. Aim, fire and adjust.

Overcoming fear
Fear keeps more people from achieving their goals than lack of skill, education or money. Learn to recognize and overcome fear.

© Teach the Soul – 2007


A common complaint today is lack of time. Everyone seems to be suffering from insufficient time. You can’t manage time. You must learn to schedule, prioritize and manage your projects or tasks. You cannot manage time, you can only manage yourself.

The people that we associate with will always have a direct bearing on the quality of our lives. This is in terms of money and satisfaction. We need to choose our friends very carefully. Although we do not get much choice in who are relatives are, we do have some control over the time we spend and the influence we allow them to have on our lives.

Making money
Most people are concerned about money or the lack of money. Yet they do not study money. They really do not understand what money represents.

The most successful people are not necessarily the smartest people. The most successful people are the ones who decided on a particular path in life and stuck to it long enough to become successful.

Designing Your Life is simple and can be reduced to two concepts – Getting clear about what you want and taking focused action toward your goals.

© Teach the Soul – 2007


get clear on why you want to achieve this goal and the difference achieving this goal will make in your life. Here you will find my recommendations for further study. you can download additional worksheets from WWW.XXXXYYYZZZ. Then breakdown the goals into individual steps necessary to achieve.Further Study As you will learn from this book. You need to clearly state your goal. If you are working from a hard copy. Then you need to identify the resources needed and possible sources of obtaining the resources. Appendix A Goals Worksheet These are worksheets for helping you breakdown you goals into step by step action plans. You need to become a student of life and business. designing your life involves constant learning and growing.com © Teach the Soul – 2007 4 .

you can design the life you want. So by default. But even then you choose to be reactive rather than proactive. What if I told you that you had the power to design whatever life you wanted? How would you feel knowing that you could design whatever lifestyle you wanted? Pretty powerful stuff. Here is a very powerful truth. If you designed your current life. you are going to need to do a lot of things different. you actually designed your life as it is now. Maybe your life has been totally reactive. There is one thing you must understand. right? Well the truth is you have that power. Well maybe you did not design it at all. either by choice or by neglect. you must separate yourself from the crowd. To have an exceptional life. You cannot do what everyone else does. you must design it.Designing Your Life Introduction Are you getting all you want from life? Is your life what you had always hoped and dreamed it would be? If you want to design a life that is special. If you want to achieve a certain lifestyle. but just for now. to follow the crowd and expect to have an exceptional life. you designed your current life. You must get © Teach the Soul – 2007 5 . It just does not work that way. different from the run of the mill. Now here is the part you may not like. We will go much deeper into this. realize that you are responsible for your current situation. You have always had that power. Maybe you just took what came your way.

There is no magic that will make you a rock star. That there is no way to get from where you are to where you would like to be. your ideal life mate and a life filled with purpose. are willing to clearly focus on your goals and do the necessary work. For you to have the desired results on your ideal vacation requires a lot of planning. You would search out all sorts of information about things to do and see. Where do you suggest I go? But that is what so many people do in life. If you were going on a vacation of a lifetime. I going on my vacation of a lifetime. But if you have average intelligence. Now I know very well what you may be thinking. There are two problems that most people face. you certainly can achieve a very high degree of wealth. And here is what you certainly would not do. there is nothing that can hold you back. I am not about to tell you that you can ever achieve anything that is totally unrealistic. You would find the best deals on flights and hotels. You would ask all your friends if they had any experience or knowledge about your dream location. They go off on life’s journey with very little planning.a clear picture of that lifestyle. You must decide on what © Teach the Soul – 2007 6 . The first in getting a clear focus on what they want and of course then doing the necessary work. You cannot expect to achieve your dream lifestyle simply by drifting along and taking life as it comes. The same is true of life. how much time and energy would go into the planning the vacation? Quite a lot. You would not show up at the ticket counter of an airline and tell the ticket agent. a standout movie star or a professional athlete. It will not happen by accident. While I said that you cannot achieve totally unrealistic goals.

Achieving happiness is not designing a lifestyle. If you want to change your circumstances. You will continue doing the same things you have always done and you will get the same lifestyle you currently have.you want. determine your circumstances. Your core values and beliefs This is what determines your actions. Open mindset You must be open to doing things differently. allowing you to look at life from a different perspective. Based on your core values and core beliefs. You will also be asked to develop a mission statement. I just want to give you an overview of all that is involved. If you cannot accept new ideas and embrace change. you will not be able to change your belief system. This cannot be a mere wish. You must have an open mindset. you must change your belief system. Your actions. One of the best ways to get clear about the life you want is describe it in writing in great detail. © Teach the Soul – 2007 7 . based on your belief system. you should develop a vision statement. Here is an overview of what we will cover. You really need to get very clear. Getting clear You will need to be very clear about the life you want to design. We will go into the specifics of setting goals. For now. This is the vision you have for your life. This will outline how you bring your vision into reality.

Achieving happiness is much too vague. What constitutes happiness? You will need to get clear about what you truly want in life. Getting clear demands that you get very specific. You cannot want a good job. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a good job. You will need to be very specific about just what constitutes a good job. And you will need to be specific about what you truly want in each area of your life. Setting Goals Here we will work on what constitutes SMART goals. You will need to develop goals in all areas of your life. You may think that only your income needs improvement. But your life is not just your job or your income. You need to have balance in your life. Otherwise you will be like a car with a flat tire. The ride will be bumpy.

Taking action When all is said and done, it does not matter how much you know, how clear you are or how solid your belief system. Unless you take focused action, all it for naught. The results you want in life can only be achieved with focused action. There are generally two reasons that people do not take focused action. One is they are not quite sure where to start or exactly how to do what they are supposed to do. The other reason, the big one, is fear. We will address both of these roadblocks.

© Teach the Soul – 2007


Overcoming fear We all have a built in mechanism that causes us to fear the unknown. Almost everyday we hear about people that won’t get out of their comfort zone. The truth is we all experience some degree of fear when we encounter the unknown. And as we have seen, if you want to be successful in designing your life, you will need to do some things different. You will have to venture into some areas that will be new to you. You will experience some fear. It is normal. Accept it. But do not let it stop you or keep you from reaching your potential. We will explore different ways to deal with fear. Time Here is one place in life where we are all truly equal. At least in the amount of time we have. No one gets a break here. We all have twenty-four per day. Yet some people seem to get things done with ease while others are always in a panic, behind schedule and rushing around. We must learn to schedule our activities, prioritize and then concentrate on the most important ones. It really does not matter if some things simply don’t get done. Leave some things undone and our lives are the same way – undone. Associates It has been said that our income will never exceed the average income of our five closest friends. Who we associate with has a direct impact on our quality of life. Who we choose to associate with can expand our philosophy and outlook on life or it can be limiting. We can be uplifted and draw strength from our friends or we can associate with those that drain our energy and dampen our

© Teach the Soul – 2007


spirits. Choose your friends wisely. They will have a significant impact on your life. Making money If you are like most people, making money is at or near the top of your goals list. We live in a consumer oriented society and it takes a fairly decent level of income just to cover what most people consider the basic necessities of life. It does not do a lot of good to cover all the theories of goal setting, gaining clarity when you are not sure how you are going to put food on the table. This section will give you some insights on how to make an above average income. But please understand - making money is not the end game. Designing the life style you want is a process. You cannot skip to the making money section and dive in. Unless you get clear about your core beliefs, understand and develop an open mindset, get clear about what you truly want to do, set smart goals and take focused action, making money will always be difficult. All these things are building blocks to develop the skills you will need to make the money you desire.

The most successful people are not necessarily the brightest people I know. The most successful people are the ones who decide on a path in life and stick with it long enough to master the skills required to be successful in that particular field.

© Teach the Soul – 2007


They are great at spotting opportunity. Most people abandon the race when the problems start. In any new venture. it is common to meet with initial success before encountering some problems. © Teach the Soul – 2007 11 . you need to develop persistence. They are always jumping on the newest idea or opportunity. If you are going to truly be successful in life.I know plenty of very bright people who can see the opportunity in countless business and personal situations. The problem is they never stick with one business or one endeavor long enough to totally master the intricacies of that particular business. Successful people stick with it and overcome the problems. They are persistent.

But the person whose life is a total success did not obtain that position by accident. we are literally surrounded by them. The truth is they are not lucky. Likewise. If you want to be like the lucky person who has everything in life. And their home life seems perfect.” There are opportunities before us at all times. So the missing ingredient must be preparedness: most of us are not prepared to seize on the opportunities that exist everywhere.” This would apply to winning the lottery or any other such random event. All too often we attribute good things that happen in people’s lives to luck when we should really attribute it to preparedness. You will not © Teach the Soul – 2007 12 . most of the time.Reaching your Personal Goals I am sure you have met someone who seemed to have everything in life a person could possibly want. we tend to think how lucky that person is. we often blame bad luck when in fact the real cause of the problems is being unprepared. Except for random acts. there is no such thing as good luck or even bad luck. They appear to love their job. Earl Nightingale defined luck as “when preparedness meets opportunity. It seems like they never have any financial worries. you simply must be totally prepared. When we meet or think about someone like that. Luck has been defined as “to meet or acquire by accidental good fortune.

If your goal is to lead a happy. Financial success means very little if you are not happy with what you are doing. Even if you enjoy what you are doing and are earning significant income from doing it. It is very possible to achieve great financial success and still not have a successful life. our educational system does not really prepare us for success. Only when you are reasonably comfortable with all areas of your life will you be content with your life. And even though we place a lot of emphasis on education. if the emotional. but it does not give us a system for success. Our educational system provides us a lot of information. physical or spiritual areas of your life are lacking. you must strive for harmony in your life. you will not be happy. You will need to work on reaching your goals in all parts of your life. This course is designed to help you reach your personal goals. © Teach the Soul – 2007 13 . fulfilling life.achieve that level of success by accident. Most people think of success in terms of financial achievement.

However. The same principles that allow you to achieve financial success work equally well when applied to any other part of your life. There are specific steps that must be taken in each area of your life if you hope to succeed there. However. you must recognize that no matter how successful you may become in those two areas. Your emotional and physical goals are personal and will only be dealt with here in the most general terms. it will © Teach the Soul – 2007 14 . Outstanding results simply do not happen by accident. failure to obtain success in the other four areas will ultimately undermine any success you have achieved. You will never achieve outstanding results in any area of your life unless you work at it. The primary purpose of this course is to help you reach success in your work or career and in the financial area of your life. You simply cannot concentrate on your work and your finances to the exclusion of the other aspects of your life and expect to achieve long-term success.The following are the broad divisions of your life: • • • • • • Relationships: spouse or soul mate. family and friends Work/career goals Physical health Emotional health Financial goals Spiritual balance There is a common thread between all these items.

The start of any program to achieve your desires in life should be to develop a healthy mental attitude and a physically fit body. Spiritual balance refers to harmony with your inner self. When we want something. We cannot expect to change our lives overnight. You should also understand that there is a significant difference between your religious beliefs and your spiritual self.not be possible for you to achieve your financial and work goals unless you have a positive mental attitude and maintain a healthy body. © Teach the Soul – 2007 15 . You should get comfortable with how you fit into the greater scheme of life. your spiritual nature will be out of balance. These lessons do not attempt to alter or influence your religious beliefs in any way. we want it now. Unless you identify and pursue your purpose in life. But you must understand that unless you are comfortable with yourself. Often we will change our mind about whether we really want something if we can’t have it immediately. We cannot change overnight. There is no point of embarking on a self-improvement course if you are not willing to stay the course until you reach your goals. And the impact of the changes will take even longer to realize. As used here. Expecting immediate results is folly. you must be comfortable with who you are and what you stand for. but we as a society have developed an “instant” or “fast food” mentality with respect to most things. spirituality has absolutely nothing to do with any religious belief. you will never achieve true success. It’s unfortunate. We fail to realize that we are the way we are because of an entire lifetime of things we have done. You should understand that we all have a purpose in life. We become very impatient if we have to wait.

It is up to you once you have learned the concepts to apply those concepts to the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. Now that we have covered the overview. We begin to experience success when we commit to changing our lives. Success is about achieving your potential in doing whatever you truly desire to do. And as we reach certain goals or milestones. For some people. the definition of success has nothing to do with money or other material things. While we recommend that you do the same with the relationship and spiritual areas of your life. Her goal in life was to help the less fortunate and she was a huge success in that respect. © Teach the Soul – 2007 16 . Yet she was penniless. There are no bells ringing to signify that we have arrived. Success actually has no relation to the amount of money you earn. Success is a journey. We learn to seek constant improvement. higher goals.Success is not a destination. let’s get started. In addition. I think everyone would agree that Mother Theresa was a success. we will not try to influence or even discuss those areas – the same concepts apply. There is no point in achieving a great personal fortune if you are not doing what you most desire. we set new. we will go into great detail in dealing with the work and financial areas of your life. we become more successful. We strive for continued growth and learning. With each step we take towards our goals. With each step in the right direction. The steps for identifying and achieving goals are basically the same for all areas of your life. We continue striving. we experience success. This course is designed to help you identify your goals in life and then take the necessary steps to achieve those goals. We will identify those steps.

or that your wife/husband left you. That is was not your fault that you lost your job. you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you. wrote. author of As a Man Thinketh. Continuing to take the actions we take.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 17 . And for a lot of people. you probably do not need to look very far to find someone or something to blame. As long as your life is not your responsibility. you will continue to be tossed about like a ship without a rudder. it is not their fault. As long as you give up the responsibility for your life to outside events.Your core beliefs and how they control your actions How do beliefs control your actions? It is very easy to tell yourself that you had little control over your present circumstances. that makes them feel better. If you are looking for excuses. But those people will never achieve success in life. James Allen. After all. But the belief that you do not control your circumstances allows you to shift the responsibility to others. That you are a victim of circumstances. soon the action becomes a habit. Your beliefs allow you to take certain actions. you can feel justified in being a victim of circumstances. “You are today where your thoughts have brought you. your beliefs tell you it is okay to take that action. lead to the circumstances in our lives. The very first time you consider doing something. Our lives are ruled by our habits. But the habit started with our core beliefs. If you continue taking that action.

Our busy minds are forever jumping to conclusions. If you want to change your circumstances. do not let your mind jump to conclusions or manufacture signs that are not there. any changes in your life will be temporary.” You must take responsibility for your thoughts. If you truly want to change your life. You also need to take control of your mind. And that is your thoughts. Epictetus Epictetus wrote. Ask yourself. therefore they are bound. if you continue to do the things you have always done. you must change the way you think. Unless and until you change the way you think. So the first step is to take responsibility for As you think. you will get the results you have always gotten. We often blame others for things that happen.” Said differently. You have no control over the financial markets. what is to be gained by blaming someone or something else? You may be quick to point out that at times people do © Teach the Soul – 2007 18 . We cannot control what happens in our lives. so you become. your own thoughts. Changing our thoughts requires that we give up blame. Sheer willpower will not change the basic path of your life. How do you change your beliefs? The first and most important step is to accept that you have total control over but one thing in life. That is.Allen further writes. we can control how we react to things that happen in our lives. the weather or any other of the numerous things that can affect our lives. but are unwilling to improve themselves. “As you think. you must change your thoughts. You have no control over what someone else does. “Men are anxious to improve their circumstances. so you become. manufacturing and interpreting signs that aren’t there.

so why spend time agonizing over it? Trying to control events that are out of your control only leads to frustration. We can only control our reaction to it. And anger increases the stress level. The question you need to focus on is what good comes from anger. You cannot afford to take actions that move you away from your goals. In fact. You can invest a lot of time and emotional energy in being angry. And you do not wish to engage Resentment is like drinking poison and then hoping it will kill your enemies. But you do control your thoughts. then it must be moving you away.things that affect us negatively. Instead of allowing yourself to be consumed by anger and resentment. allow yourself to forgive the person you are angry. You must give up anger and Nelson Mandella resentment. anger can be a hazard to your health. You must accept what happens. But it will not move you closer to your goals in life. We cannot control what someone else does. You cannot change what has happened. © Teach the Soul – 2007 19 . it is very easy to get angry with them. Accept that things happen in life. But stop and ask yourself what good comes from the anger? It is not a question of did someone do you wrong. why spend the time and energy doing it. Accept that you have no control over lots of things that happen in life. Does it accomplish anything to blame someone else? If it does not accomplish anything. If someone has said something bad about you or done you some wrong. Stress is at the base of the majority of today’s health issues. Playing the blame game is a losing proposition. If something is not moving you toward your goals in life.

If we have an internal locus of control. But that does no good. To get even. and try to learn from them. Trying to get even often just escalates the problem. Observe how you feel about what happened. Just put aside your immediate reaction and think about how much better off you are by controlling your thoughts and your actions. we think that we are in control of our circumstances. If you are having trouble learning to respond instead of reacting. If we feel like we have been injured. we think that events outside our control or internal factors over which we have no control are responsible for our circumstances in life.in thoughts that drain your energy and take you away from your goals in life. Learn to respond instead of reacting. Our natural tendency is to react. You will need to take the emotion out of the picture. becoming aware that you can control your thoughts and actions. Learn to question your feelings. © Teach the Soul – 2007 20 . When something happens. you will start to respond to events rather than react to them. Ask yourself what is the best way to respond to the event. If we have an external locus of control. Locus of Control Psychologists teach us that we can have an internal or an external locus of control. try to have a time out or a cool down period. Accept things that have happened. By observing your thoughts. This will not happen overnight. try to delay any reaction to the event. our natural reaction is to strike back. You will need to constantly remind yourself to respond to things rather than react. Responding means to consider the best course of action you should take.

The man was deeply depressed over the loss of the pony. So we tend to discount or overlook the connection. His major treasures in life were his son and a small pony.Let me share a little story that will illustrate the concept of locus of control. Happy one day. The horse stopped short. the son fell off and broke his leg. Because of the broken leg. All because of outside circumstances beyond his control. In this story. The man was so grateful. A few days later. He thought his happiness in life was controlled by factors beyond his control. He had an external locus of control. The old man was delighted. There is a timing difference. The man again was in a state of depression. Now this is a simple little story but it illustrates a very serious problem in the way a lot of people think. the pony turned up and along with it was a beautiful Arabian horse. The problem is the time involved. the man is constantly being buffeted by outside circumstances. In our complex world. One day the pony wandered off and was presumed to be lost. Alarm bells do not go off when you eat a hot fudge sundae loaded with whipped cream. the army came through the village and took all young men to fight in a far off war. Then a few days later. That they had no control of what happened to them. they did not take the son. But over time. lived an elderly man. sad the next. A lot of people think that they are victims of circumstances. In a small village in India. the link between cause and effect is often very indirect. © Teach the Soul – 2007 21 . It is easy to trace the cause of clogged arteries back to our lifestyle. eating such foods will have an effect on the body. The son was out riding the beautiful horse.

And the first step in changing the way we think. However if we have always operated in some areas of our lives with an external locus of control. If we want to change the outcome – the circumstances of our lives. There is simply no other way.But the point is we do have control over our lives. we will not take responsibility for our lives and therefore will not make the changes necessary in our lives to bring about the desired outcomes. © Teach the Soul – 2007 22 . if we think that things just happen to us. we must change what we do. You must accept full responsibility for your life. It is a universal law – cause and effect. We will never take full control of our lives if we are blaming outside circumstances.

magazines and newspapers. Often they were simply passing on the values they had been taught. In short we filter information from a number of sources and accept that which fits our basic belief system. This will not be easy. associates. radio. you will need to do some serious questioning of your beliefs and value systems. If you are going to achieve all you want to in life. Because we are not in a position to make good judgments about what we should accept or reject. I“I am a part of all I Ihave met” Lord Alford Tennyson Our beliefs come from all we have met – from our parents. television and movies. Not all of our beliefs are necessarily good. Unfortunately after accepting beliefs. we have a belief system that is a part of all we have been exposed to our entire life. Our parents and teachers can have a very strong influence on our belief system. extended families and teachers were probably sharing their values and honestly thought their values were what we should accept. We have been exposed to lots of information that is not necessarily good or true. So by the time we have reached adulthood. We pick up lots of beliefs from the adult role models in our lives. Those things we accept and those concepts we reject both serve to strengthen our belief system. we rarely revisit them or question their validity.Where do beliefs come from? I part of all have met. the information we read in books. It will also take a lot of © Teach the Soul – 2007 23 . Our parents. we often accept beliefs that are not healthy. friends.

Do not think this is something you can do in a week or two. You will become more tolerant of others and you will come to see the world is not black and white. religion. Benjamin Franklin You need to realize that your belief system is subject to change. Things are never quite that cut and dried. you will naturally come to question some of the things you were taught as a child. a sense of justice should not change. Also. © Teach the Soul – 2007 24 . honesty. But you were probably taught some things that are simply not true. As you learn and grow. That what you believe today might not be what you believe next year. One thing you must do is learn to accept people who are in some basic ways different from you. After crosses and losses. As you learn and grow. Your core values. men grow humbler and wiser. you can expect your belief system to change. So develop tolerance for others. political beliefs or any number of other things. At times this might be a little uncomfortable. Don’t try to make drastic changes in your basic belief system. you should resist the temptation to impose your beliefs on others. It may be race.time and energy. As you grow up and begin to experience the normal bumps and bruises of life. things change. But you must be open to changing beliefs that are not true.

In short we are creatures of habit. Habits are extremely limiting. However you need to understand that when you do things out of habit. The Devil’s Dictionary Ambrose Bierce I have often said that habits are the most powerful force in the world. We react out of habit. If you expect to achieve your goals in life. Most of the things we do. you need to understand the power of habits. you are giving up control of your life. at least to you habits are the most powerful force in the world. This can be a very damaging activity.Why are habits so powerful? Habit. We even get in the habit of buying the same styles and colors. we have done before. we shop at the same stores and often eat at the same restaurants. We take the same route to work. I then qualify that by saying. Habit start off innocently enough. When we first take an action. They keep us doing what we have always done. a shackle for the free. we consult our belief system to make sure the action is in accordance with our core values. we do out of habit. If you think about it. it becomes more an integral part of who we are. In some instances this is okay. Eventually we come to accept that the action is totally okay and no longer consult our belief system. It is estimated that 95% of the things we do. n. You no longer question if the activity is good for you. I am © Teach the Soul – 2007 25 . We don’t have to think about the everyday routine things we do in life. You can get into a routine (some might call it a rut) and never learn or grow. But each time we repeat the action.

I recommend 30 minutes a day. Most things you do in life will become habits. There is nothing wrong with an occasional good mystery or other work of fiction. you will be able to complete your reading and exercise without interruption. you can choose if you want to be the slave of habits or have them work for you. you will find the majority of times something comes up to interfere with your planned activity. make sure you have good habits that will help you work toward your goal. It is easy to underestimate the power of reading. Think how much further ahead you will be than the average person. Further. If you promise yourself that you are going to exercise and/or read in the evening. You will do them without conscious thinking. So what is the answer? It is quite simple. But if you wake up half an hour early. you should do it first thing in the morning. you will increase your earning power by at least $1. you will probably read about 20 books per year. For example you could read while exercising on a stationary bike. First if you read just 30 minutes per day and you are an average reader. What are some good habits to develop? Daily reading would be an excellent habit to develop. It has also been estimated that for each non-fiction book you read. But most © Teach the Soul – 2007 26 .000 dollars. It has been estimated that the average American reads less than one non-fiction book per year. Make sure you develop good habits. If you are going to be a slave to habits. This can add up to quite a sum over a 15 to 20 year period. However. Daily exercise would be another.sure you will come to the same conclusion that I have namely that habits are the most powerful force in the world. If you really want to save time you could combine the two. Now I believe that you should read material that moves you toward your goals in life.

If you take constant action. but one thing you should get in the habit of doing is taking action each day toward your goals. You will simply be amazed at how much you can absorb by listening at least a half hour per day. you will become much more aware of how you are reacting to events. Yet most people spend a few hours per day with their eyes glued to the TV. Unless you are watching good educational programs. It is also very helpful to give up television. selfimprovement CDs when riding in the car. The first is to start a journal. Make it a habit to take small daily steps to achieving your goals. How much of that TV time could be turned into productive learning time? We will go into this deeper in the section on goal setting. Almost everyone complains of a shortage of time. the sitcoms and reality shows will do very little to help you reach your goals.of your reading should be books that will help you learn and grow. The purpose here is not to list the events so much as to capture your feelings about the day. What were your successes? What happened that set you back? How did you deal with the setbacks? What should you do different in the future? If you learn to write these things down. If you try to take huge steps in a short period of time. Another good habit would be to listen to self-help. This is a passive activity. each and every day. you will stand a much better chance of achieving your goals. There are a couple of other habits you should consider adopting. Each evening you should recap the events of the day in your journal. This should dramatically improve your ability to respond rather than react. Most people watch way too much television. © Teach the Soul – 2007 27 . you will more than likely fail.

In order to help you overcome that. resentment and things like that. they become easier to deal with. frustration. you are in a much better position to take corrective actions. Develop the habit of being aware of the things you can and should be grateful for. it would also be helpful if you became aware of the things that drain your energy.Most people I know are plagued with self-doubt and low selfesteem. You need to be grateful. it would be helpful for you to acquire a spiral bound notebook and answer the following questions each and every day. As you bring these energy drainers into your conscious awareness. I would also suggest you become aware of the things you fail to do because of some form of fear. For you to be successful in life. you need to adopt an attitude of gratitude. You will become aware of how much good you are doing in life. © Teach the Soul – 2007 28 . What am I grateful for today? List at list five or six things in your life that you are grateful for. While you are becoming aware of the things you should be grateful for and the things you should praise yourself for. you will gradually raise your self-esteem. This can be anger. Ask yourself why. But if you develop the habit of praising yourself for the good things you are doing each day. A good habit to develop is to write down the positive things you have done. What things have I done in the last few days that I praise myself for? Most of us are very good at kicking ourselves for things we have done. as you bring these behaviors into your conscious awareness. Again. It could be as simple as acknowledging yourself for some actions you have taken. But we very rarely praise ourselves for the good that we do. Notice the things you know you should do but do not.

Make sure that you have a good master. You are going to have habits. That your habits are leading you toward your goals. If you don’t you will let your bad habits rule your life. For example if you are hooked on watching TV. If you wish to change your circumstances. It could be the selfsatisfaction you will get when you have fully implemented the new habit. You will be a slave to your habits. you will want to develop some strong emotional attachment to the new behavior you are trying to adopt. You also need to examine which habits are keeping you in a rut and what you can do to get out. A more productive approach is to design a behavior that will replace the habit. develop the habit of reading or meditating. Give yourself an emotional reason to adopt a new habit. If you are finding it difficult to break a habit. it is extremely difficult to break a habit. Find something more powerful than the habit you want to replace. As everyone knows.You need to become aware of the power that habits have in your life. The foundation for designing your life is built on your acceptance that you have total control of your thoughts and your thoughts lead to your circumstances. there is nothing that says that all habits are bad. Nothing is stronger than habit. Ovid While it is true that nothing is stronger than habit. you must start with changing your thoughts. © Teach the Soul – 2007 29 .

Bad habits develop on their own. being base. You must learn that you have absolutely no control over things that can happen to you. Left alone. Learn to respond to things. you must come to the conclusion that your thoughts eventually lead to your circumstances. you must start by changing your thoughts. be it foul or clean. but their inmost thoughts and desires are fed with their own food. These emotions will only drag you down. In order to change your circumstances. but that which they are. The “divinity that shapes our ends” is ourselves. It is necessary to give up blame. Examine your habits. Their whims. the bad habits can dictate © Teach the Soul – 2007 30 . These feelings do nothing positive for you. It is our reaction to events. anger and resentment. being noble. Man is manacled only by himself: thought and action are the jailers of Fate – they imprison. it is our very self. If it is of no value. His wishes and prayers are only gratified and answered when they harmonize with this thoughts and actions. It is not the events that cause us problems. then why engage in blame? Do not allow your energy to be consumed by anger and resentment. James Allen gives us this passage: Men do not attract what which they want. You have total control over how you react to things. but what he justly earns. and ambitions are thwarted at every step. Not what he wishes and prays for does a man get. they are also angles of Freedom – they liberate. Accept those things you have no control over. fancies.In his book As a Man Thinketh. Habits rule your life. If you hope to achieve what you truly want in life.

It is so important to combine the lessons with action. It does very little good to simply read the exercises. You forget a substantial amount of what you read the day after you have read it. Taking immediate action on a lesson reinforces the lesson. relationships. health. But list those circumstances that you are not happy with. You must take action. Develop good habits. It is almost impossible to get rid of a bad habit through sheer willpower. You will be a slave to habits. © Teach the Soul – 2007 31 . 1.how we lead our lives. Develop good habits that replace bad habits. You need to actually do them. There is a further benefit from taking action. putting the lessons into practice will greatly accelerate your progress. That is not quite correct. It is okay to have habits so long as they are leading you towards your goals. You have a much better chance of internalizing the information. Exercises: A basic principal of achieving your goals is focused action. There is nothing that says all habits need to be bad for you. What circumstances in your life do you wish to change? It could be income. It has been said that knowledge is power. Applied knowledge is power. When you internalize the information. Doing the exercises. career or financial. you retain much more of the information. you make it a part of you. But if you take some action on what you read. you must put the knowledge to work for you. For any of the lessons to truly benefit you. taking action on what you are learning.

See if you can identify some beliefs that have not served you well in the past. Do you have a good idea who you are? What your core beliefs are? List the things in life that are important to you. What do you believe that you are capable of doing? What do you believe that you can become? What do you think is the biggest obstacle in your path to achieving what you truly want from life? © Teach the Soul – 2007 32 . but try it. friends and relatives about how you will do in life? 7. What habits do you have that are controlling your life? How long have you had them? Write down how your life would be different without those habits. Are those things enduring? That is will they be important in 5 to 10 years? Are any of the items on your list material possessions? 5.2. 6. Now list the beliefs that may have contributed to the circumstances being what they are. Examine your list of things that are important. 3. 4. What self-limiting beliefs do you have? What have you been told by your parents. It may be difficult to connect all the beliefs directly to a circumstance.

How important is it that you become successful in life? Why do you want to be successful? © Teach the Soul – 2007 33 .8.

You must be open to the opportunities that exist. In her book.Mindset What do we mean by mindset? Our mindset is “an established set of attitudes held by someone” according to the Oxford American dictionary. By limiting ourselves to only one way – getting a job – we dramatically limit our possibilities. It is extremely important that you have a growth mindset. Carol Dweck advances the theory that there are two types of mindset. We may have a fixed mindset about the type of house. Most people will have a fixed mindset about some things and a growth or open mindset about other things. Any time we have a fixed mindset about anything we limit the possibilities. We would have a fixed mindset about income if we accepted the idea that the only legitimate way to earn a living would be to get a job. A fixed mindset means exactly what you might think. We may have a fixed mindset about the friends we wish to associate with. But listen to someone who is out of work. neighborhood or area of the country we might choose to live in. One is fixed and the opposite is a growth mindset. © Teach the Soul – 2007 34 . What do they say? That there are no good jobs available. There are so many different ways that we can have a fixed mindset or a growth mindset. We have a fixed attitude about how things should be. Companies are just not hiring. There are opportunities all around us. Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. we would have a growth mindset about income if we realized there were a multitude of different methods to earn a living. On the other hand.

And unless their ideal soul mates just happen by. We tend to think that there is a scarcity of © Teach the Soul – 2007 35 . As a society. as employers we often shortchange our companies by taking such a short sighted view of things. One of the big ways that our mindset determines our future is how we think about talent versus work. They refuse to look at all the possibilities that exist.Listen to a person looking for a soul mate. There is nothing left but the undesirable. Unless a job comes and lands in their lap. A person with a fixed mindset is often arrogant. There are generally numerous ways to arrive at a particular goal. We either have a prosperity mindset or a scarcity mindset. However. In our society. you view the world as having limited resources. tall men earn more than their shorter brothers. we praise talent. What do they say? That all the good men (women) are already taken. they are unlikely to find one. If you have a scarcity mindset. Prosperity – Scarcity Mindset We need to examine our mindset with respect to prosperity or scarcity. not talent. We need to look beyond the surface and see the deeper qualities a person possesses. Attractive women get ahead faster and go farther than their homely sisters. We must be flexible in our approach. Our society has a fixed mindset about these attributes. they are likely to look all their lives in vain. In both cases the person has a fixed mindset. We should praise hard work. How we view the world and its resources will have a huge impact on our ability to accomplish our goals. Thinking that there is only one way to achieve a goal and they have the answer.

As a result we have developed a “go it alone” mindset. © Teach the Soul – 2007 36 . We feel like we must compete with others for jobs. This becomes self-fulfilling prophecy. We manifest that which be believe. We do not want to share. relationships and scarce resources. We buy things that we do not really need and fail to use the things we have. We no longer horde our precious resources.jobs. Here we tend to see the world as having an abundance of resources. having a prosperity mindset tends to attract prosperity to us. money and other resources. The competitive – collaborative mindset We live in a very competitive society. We want to do it all by ourselves and get all the spoils of victory. A scarcity mindset creates scarcity. Can you see the dangers of having a scarcity mindset? On the other side of the spectrum is a prosperity mindset. We even become stingy with our love. income opportunities and relationship opportunities. We become stingy with our time. All we need to do is to open our mind to the possibilities. This goes hand in hand with the scarcity mentality. we tend to horde resources. Therefore if we think that there is a scarcity of resources. As you know by now. what we think about. We realize that the more we give. There are plenty of jobs. we bring about. The average American today waste too many resources. A prosperity mindset does not waste precious resources. the more we get. Please do not confuse a prosperity mindset with being wasteful. We understand that there are ample resources to fill all our needs. income opportunities and relationship opportunities. This is the hording that comes with the scarcity mindset. We are no longer stingy. This is not a prosperity mindset. Since we tend to manifest what be believe.

for sports teams and for academic or school positions of leadership. That is rather unfortunate. you will need help to achieve it. Bill Gates did not build Microsoft alone. We have developed the mindset if we have to wait. You are where you are based on a lifetime of thought and actions.We are taught from grade school on to compete for grades. you will need to change your mindset when it comes to achieving your goals in life. And they do it by working together. While there are some things we do not like to wait for. You cannot expect to undo this overnight. Yet they can construct elaborate anthills and beehives. as a nation. we have developed a fast food mindset. Fast food mindset Unfortunately. We have our instant messaging. And the more help you have. instant emails and our fast foods. Edison did not invent the light bulb working alone. We have come to expect things to happen immediately. the faster you will achieve your goals. You will never accomplish anything truly great working solely by yourself. These are very primitive animal life forms. But you need to stop and ask yourself if this is the best way? Is competition the way nature intended us to live? Could we actually stand a better chance of achieving our goals is we learned to collaborate with others? We could learn a lot from ants and bees. It will take some time. You cannot expect to reprogram your mind instantly. Competition becomes inbred. No matter what your goal. © Teach the Soul – 2007 37 . we don’t want it.

you will need to learn new skills. The same is true of your goals. Therefore it is vitally important that we develop © Teach the Soul – 2007 38 . we bring about. even after you planted the tree you need to continue working on the tree and you have to wait until the tree has reached the proper size to produce fruit. You need to nurture your goals and do the work for you to learn and grow. To rush the process can often result in a premature death. you will meet with failure more often than not. If you have spend a few years building up credit card debt. What we think about. develop new relationships and make new connections. you will need to water and fertilize the tree. You can achieve your goals and dreams. The tree needs to grow to a certain size before it produces fruit. You will also need to understand that you cannot force things to happen on your schedule. If your goals are stretching you. you will not make a fortune overnight to satisfy all your financial needs. unless you are very lucky. During this time. our mindset has a significant bearing on our ability to achieve our goals. how long would you wait for it to produce the fruit? Probably a few years.You will need to develop some realistic time frames for achieving your goals. How does our mindset affect our lives? As you can see from the above examples. You just need to be realistic about how long it might take. Our mindset literally shapes our lives. You will also need to prune the tree and protect it from insects and plant disease. In short. You can set your goals but you will need to do the work necessary to for the goals to bear fruit. If you try to force things to happen as you want them. If you planted a fruit tree. It takes time.

professional. But for the most part they told us to fit in. to new ways of doing things. © Teach the Soul – 2007 39 . they would get the same results. We have often accepted all we have been told about our limitations. “You’ll never be able to be a _________ (doctor. “You need to learn your place. We often have a fixed mindset about our abilities. While they were probably given with the best of intentions. Successful people do not do the same things that everyone else does. our parents and teachers had what they thought were our best interest in mind. We need to be receptive to new concepts. As children. “Don’t try that. Therefore we have been conditioned to conform. Don’t make waves. they became programmed into our brains. The successful people are doing something different. We need to open our minds to the possibilities of what can be. or whatever you were told)” or worse yet. We are now burdened with self-limiting beliefs about our abilities. As a child. Don’t color outside the box or play outside the box. If we think there is only one way to solve a problem. We must be open to new possibilities. While I am not suggesting that you be a rebel or do anything disruptive. we were often feed lots of information about the types of relationships we should develop. only one path to achieve our goals. If they did exactly as everyone else did.a growth mindset. how many times were you told.” Most of us were constantly feed negative messages as children. In other words we were taught to conform. you must be open to doing things that are outside the box. Again. we limit ourselves and may in fact close ourselves off to the path we really should take.” Or.

we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. How can we develop a growth mindset? By simply being aware of your attitudes that control your behavior. It is very important that you question your long held beliefs about things. As you become aware of why you are doing things. we do not spend time on trying to defend our preconceived notion of how the world should work. Open your mind to the endless possibilities that exist. Stop doing thing automatically. Stop reacting like a robot. Learn to question or observe why you are doing certain things. Start to look at the reasons why you are taking the actions you are taking. You will achieve your goals much faster that way.What is a growth mindset? It is simply being open to all possibilities. We are seeking alternate ways to view the world. One thing about learning. ask yourself if there might be a better way. Observe your feelings about what you are doing. It is not having a fixed idea about how things should be done. the more we learn the more we realize how little we know. We are constantly exploring for new and better ways to do things. With a growth mindset. © Teach the Soul – 2007 40 . With a growth mindset. A growth mindset requires that we are constantly learning and growing. Learn to be open to seeing things from a different point of view. It is being open to learning new ways to do things.

check to see how you listen? Do you listen attentively? Or is your mind wandering. When you hear a question.Exercises: 1. When someone makes a suggestion. The next time you are in a discussion. Are you willing to listen to other ideas? Do you take input? 4. Are you totally open to suggestions? Do you seek counsel from others? 7. what is your first reaction? Do you dismiss it without really considering the merits of the idea? © Teach the Soul – 2007 41 . off on some other subject. do you get fixed on the first answer you come up with? Do you think you are generally right and know more than most people? 3. How do you react when you are criticized? Do you become defensive? Are you quick to explain why you think you were right? 6. Do you feel that you must always have the answer to each and every question you are asked? 5. 2. thinking of what you will say or worse yet.

Do you think in terms of competition or collaboration? Competition is okay in sports. Do you judge the actions of others before you understand their motives and intensions? These need to be answered very honestly. Having an unrealistic attitude about how fast you should achieve goals will set you up for failure. Do you have unrealistic expectations about how fast things should be accomplished? Examine your beliefs about how fast your income should increase. 9. But in life. If you get blamed for something – whether it was your fault or not – simply learn from the experience and do not try to defend yourself. Your concern should be on getting results – not who gets credit. Do you want to make sure that you get none of the blame for something you were not really responsible for? While you might think it only makes sense to get credit for what you do and not to get blamed for what you really had no part if doing. 11. Do you want to make sure you get the proper credit for your contribution to a task? 10. 12. we need to learn to collaborate more with others. blame should not be part of your way of thinking or acting. this represents a self-centered way of thinking. Part of an open mindset is to get away from the self-centered way of thinking.8. © Teach the Soul – 2007 42 . Examine your beliefs about how fast you should expect to achieve your other goals. As previously discussed.

think the world owes you something. realizing that there are sufficient resources available to you. © Teach the Soul – 2007 43 . you will be able to design the life you wish. If you have a negative attitude. Are you looking for more/better relationships in your life? How do you think about the availability of these relationships? Do you think they are difficult to establish? That there all the good partners for life or business is already taken? The way you view the world. money and connections? Do you think there is a limited or unlimited supply of each? 14. then you are going to have a difficult time designing the life you want.13. How do you view resources such as time. if you approach life with a positive outlook. On the other hand. your attitude toward the world will have a significant bearing on how the world treats you.

When we are working within a structured environment. we seem to do okay.” said the Cat. We will go much deeper into this in the goal setting process. You cannot have a goal of being wealthy. There are a couple of techniques you can use to help you get clear.Getting Clear “Would you please tell me which way I ought to go from here?” “That depends a good deal on where you want to get to. wealth is a million dollars. getting clear has been the most difficult task I have encountered. relationships. we go blank. Wealthy means different things to different people. most people have a very difficult time getting clear about what they want in life. where we can paint any picture we want. but they don’t seem to have a good idea of what they want to fill that void. But when our lives are an empty canvas. You are never going to achieve vague goals.” said the Cat. You must be specific. However for now realize that when we talk about wealth. Getting clear means getting very specific. For some people. “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go. jobs or even starting your own © Teach the Soul – 2007 44 . But before we go into those. For others it might be ten million. Lewis Carroll Alice in Wonderland In all my time working with people. But whatever the reason. It could be that we have so many choices that we are afraid to make a commitment down one particular path. let us set some parameters. Everyone seems to know that something is missing in life. “I don’t much care where…” said Alice.

when uncertain about where they want to go or how they want to get there simply do nothing. “Since money is no object. what would I spend my time doing?” You can expand this by saying. “Since money is not object and I know I cannot fail. the education or any other excuse. Only by being very clear can your subconscious mind fix on what you want and begin to work on finding ways to obtain your goal. If you hope to have any chance of achieving your goals. what would I spend my time doing?” Another way of getting the same results is to ask yourself. You will not have a good sense of direction about where you want to go or how to get there. you need to get clear about what you want. the clearer you are. what would you do. but they don’t have the financing. Techniques for getting clear One technique for getting clear is to assume that you have all the money you need. even if you were not going to get paid for it?” The point of all the above questions is to get rid of all the normal excuses we give about why we can’t do something. lots of people will tell you they want their own business. you will not be able to take focused actions. Then ask yourself. Uncertainty breeds inaction. The more specific you are. For example. Most people.business. Inaction is the death of any goals program. you must be specific. The Inaction is the death of any goals program. © Teach the Soul – 2007 45 . Why is it important to be clear? Unless and until you become clear. “If you did not need money to live on. You need to get rid of excuses.

Get rid of your excuses. Now ask yourself the following questions? What am I doing for a living? Where am I living? Describe your house. There is a second technique knows as the fast forward. See designing is a process. © Teach the Soul – 2007 46 . you can work back to the present. How much vacation do you take a year? Describe your typical day. Once you are clear. Picture yourself five years down the road. You are not going to design a life. you can start to chart a direct course for getting there. you can find the ways to accomplish it. You are designing a life. Doing this exercise. Once you know your destination. How much do you travel? Where do you go? What do you do for recreation? The point of these questions is for you to get very clear on the type of life you want to have in five years or at some point in the future. you fast forward for five years.above questions are designed to do just that. One thing you need to realize. How many rooms? What style? How big is the yard? Who are my friends? Describe your soul mate. If you get clear about what you want.

As pointed out above. Some parts are dependent on other pieces of your life being in place. So when trying to get clear. When you start to learn and grow. You need to be specific. Setting Goals © Teach the Soul – 2007 47 . It is much too easy to change or make adjustments to an idea in our head. You will want to grow in all areas of your life. you must have a fixed target. do not make the mistake of thinking you can get clear on all parts of your life at one time. Life should never be fixed. you will find it difficult to restrict your growth to just one area. make it a habit to write things in your journal. but are looking to improve your relationships. When we write things down. That is fine. It should be a constant process of growth and discovery. As you start to get clear about what you truly want. write it down. we become more committed to them. you may feel the need to make improvements in other areas of your life. Your subconscious mind cannot focus on a fuzzy goal. If you are truly going to achieve success. Then you will become overwhelmed and everything will fall apart. if you are content with our current job. once you design a life. There is something about writing things down that forces clarity of thought and makes the commitment stronger. then start getting clear about what is missing from your relationships. For example. You need to take one step at a time. But do not try to do too much at one time. So once you are clear about what you want. You cannot be pursuing one goal today and a slightly different one tomorrow. As you begin to work on relationships. The best approach is to start on one item at a time.On the other hand. it is fixed. designing your life is a process.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. But you will not lose sight of your goals. This journey will help you decide where you want to go and how to get there. They are afraid to take a step in the wrong direction. But you are different! You have made a conscious decision to begin a journey – a journey of success. You will keep focused on your destination. a journey of designing your life. and as a result they either stand still or walk in place. When roadblocks appear. it is imperative that you keep moving toward © Teach the Soul – 2007 48 . So many people are uncertain about which way to step. The Way of Lao-tzu Lao-tzu The above quotation is so obvious. writing it down. so they never go anywhere. you will simply alter your course to get around the obstacles without changing your intended destination. Like any journey. you will have separated yourself from the majority of people in the world. By deciding on a definite purpose in life. the second and subsequent steps should be much easier. Getting started is key. and identifying the steps necessary to get there. But once you have begun. and more than likely some detours. there will be some bumps in the road. no matter where you are going. And since you have already taken the first step. you will never get there unless you take the first step.

If you will simply follow the plan. Don’t let inertia slow you down or. you will gain very little. they are totally dependent on your effort.your goals. There is no mystery to success. Your rewards will just keep getting bigger and bigger. It is easy for doubt. reverse your movement. It is like the proverbial snowball rolling downhill. fear and old habits to try to pull you back into your comfort zone. willing to learn anything that will improve your life. It has been said that a person only learns when they are ready to learn. You must begin this journey with an open mind. If you approach this subject with an attitude of doubt and resistance. the rewards will be greater than anything you have ever imagined. That is. If it were as easy as © Teach the Soul – 2007 49 . Don’t let them. Develop the same habits that other successful people have developed and you must be successful. And the only limits are the ones you place on yourself. Almost certainly. So just store away the information that you question or doubt. I will admit that there is a catch: while the process is simple. While the results are automatic. It is as simple at that. even worse. You will need to get rid of some old habits and old ways of thinking. You simply cannot fail if you follow the same path as other successful people. there will be some things that you will read and hear that you will not accept. There are no secrets. it is not easy. your results will be totally dependent on the effort you put into this program. You simply need to learn the lessons that others have learned. There will come a time when the wisdom will become apparent. The wonderful news is that each success builds other successes and the rewards are compounded. Just keep an open mind. In case this sounds too simple.

everyone would be rich and successful. Likewise. you will have wasted your time reading these pages. This is one time that your rewards are totally up to you. the knowledge is useless. unless you put into action what you learn. The more effort and energy you put into learning the principles and then acting on what you learn. the greater your rewards.reading this program. Let’s begin our journey of success! Let’s design your life! © Teach the Soul – 2007 50 . No matter how much you learn. if you do not put the energy into learning and applying what you learn.

said “The greatest discovery of my generation is man can alter their lives by altering their mental attitudes. If we have a negative attitude about our job. Nothing is more important in achieving success than your mental attitude. Earl Nightingale called “Attitude” the magic word. to not © Teach the Soul – 2007 51 . If we have a negative attitude towards learning.A Positive Mental Attitude Success starts with a positive mental attitude. we really do not have much chance to learn. if we have a negative attitude. that is what we get back. As Henry Ford said. They cause you to wait for the right time. Improve your attitude and you improve your life. And the world directs our attitude back to us.” You will never be successful at something you don’t think you can do. “If you think you can or you think you can’t do something. We tend to live up to our expectations. You will only be able to do those things that you firmly believe you can do. Therefore. the father of American psychology. They cause you to see obstacles and problems at each and every turn. Everything you do depends on your mental attitude. As Cervantes said. If we expect to fail. William James. Our attitude affects everything we do. and much more in the skies.” The truth is we become what we think about. it will be reflected in our work output. Doubt and fear rob you of a positive mental attitude. Our attitude is a reflection of our self. you are probably right. “Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground.” Fear causes you to lose self-confidence. that sort of thinking becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we are sending out a negative attitude. if we think the worst is going to happen.

And you must really believe they are achievable. So do not list “wants” that you really don’t believe you are capable of accomplishing.” You would do well to read the above quote and memorize it. James Allen. and set out to accomplish it. It does not matter what anyone else thinks you should do or would be good at doing. If you are going to have the drive and determination to achieve your goals. Your goals must be your own.make a sale. in his wonderful little book As a Man Thinketh. and resolution and energy be developed. said. which being done. © Teach the Soul – 2007 52 . 1. You should set separate goals for each area of your life. …A man should conceive of a legitimate purpose in his heart. Your Goals Now it is time to actually identify your goals. they must be yours. “Until thought is linked with purpose. A worksheet has been provided for writing down your goals in each area of your life. … Only in this way can the thoughts be gathered and focused. If you link thought with purpose. to have a bad day – whatever we expect is exactly what we will get in the long run. And you should set both short-term and long-term goals. A couple of suggestions are in order. there is nothing which may not be accomplished. there is no intelligent accomplishment. gather your thoughts and take focused action you can accomplish anything.

Do this for a few days. 3. let’s assume you want your own business. If you are attracted to one person and the relationship happens to work out. You must have an extremely strong desire to achieve the goal. 5. For example. Only list those things that you are willing to work for. Often people will not list their true goals because they talk themselves out of it. 4. Don’t list things that would be nice to have. They may not feel the same way about you that you do about them. But not with a particular person. One method of determining your true goals has been described as the “magic wand” method. 6. What will emerge over a period of several days is your list of the goals that are most important to you. It is perfectly fine to have a goal to be in a romantic relationship. without referring to your old list of goals. Just make sure it is your goal and you have a burning desire to accomplish it. If you really want something. Do not worry yet about how you will accomplish your goals. If you wave the magic wand and are honest you will reveal your true desire.” Do not let the means to acquire the goal interfere with your listing it as a goal. People will say “I want my own business but I don’t have the money (or the skill. It is this list that we want to utilize. that is fine.2. Wave the magic wand and decide what you would really want if money (or a certain skill) were no object. You should not have a goal to be in a romantic relationship with a particular person. write it down. or both). But wishing for a specific relationship for yourself is © Teach the Soul – 2007 53 . make a new list the next day. You should list your goals and then. Your goals should not involve any other person. no matter how much effort it takes to achieve them. In that case you are probably attracted to some idealized image you have of them rather than who they really are.

That is negative and it will not serve you well. “what goes around comes around” is true. When you set your goals for a job. You will not be open to all the possibilities that may exist. 8. it is time to put the goals in some order. Do not burden yourself trying to even the score. © Teach the Soul – 2007 54 . Take some time to think about your priorities. never seek or even hope for revenge. a relationship. always set the goal for what you want or something better. that shall he also reap. The old saying. a house or anything like that. The stronger the purpose. in the long run. If you limit your goals to a particular job or relationship. It will only drag you down. It is the strong purpose that gives you the drive to achieve the goal. You want your most important goal to be at the top of your list. everyone gets their just due.overlooking the idea that each person has the right to set their own goals. Never set a goal that involves revenge. So take some time to write down why you want to achieve a particular goal – how accomplishing your goal will benefit you and change your life. You should have a real purpose associated with your most important goal.” Don’t worry. you are operating from a fixed mindset. Once you have worked with a list of goals over a few days and narrowed it down or eliminated goals that were merely wishes. “Whatsoever a man soweth. the stronger the desire to achieve. Make it a point to always be open to your goal or something better. 7. No matter what wrong someone has done to you. Also remember the Bible verse. This is very important.

A word of caution: the attainment of a certain sum of money is not a goal. It is the benefit gained by providing goods or services. you will not provide an exceptional level of service and will surely not achieve your desired income. you should be able to decide. if you concentrate on just obtaining money. Eventually you will have compared the all the items. Look at number 10 and number 9 on your list. Then make the same decision between number 8 and number 7.A lot of people have trouble deciding on the rank of their goals. Concentrate on doing a good job and the money will surely follow. Next look at number 8 and number 10. You are going to need to decide which goal is most important so you will know where to focus your energy. These are both properly stated goals. The sad truth is. your goal should be to identify a valuable service you would enjoy providing. But by narrowing the choice down to one of two items. Money is simply a medium of exchange. If you believe you want money. Then make a decision between those two items. Which is most important? Let’s say this time you picked number 8. You might not be able to pick out the most important out of a list of 10. Let’s say you have a list of ten goals. But if you © Teach the Soul – 2007 55 . Most people cannot look at a list of ten goals and figure out which is the most important. You must also realize that you can only acquire money or any other thing of value by providing service of equal value. Perhaps what you really want is to achieve a certain level of savings or to pay off debts in order to feel financially secure. Let’s say you picked number 10 over number 9. Continue this until you have compared the winner of each stage with the next item in line. Here is a simple method to determine the order of your goals. you must analyze further and determine why you want money. one at a time. So if you need or want a certain amount of money.

you will probably identify a number of habits or changes you need or want to make in your life. One other note of caution. You should go through the same process to achieve goals in the other areas of your life. Pick out and work on one item at a time. Take the first step and then take it one step at a time.concentrate on providing excellent service. Build your confidence as you go. © Teach the Soul – 2007 56 . Once you start thinking about setting goals and taking complete control of your life. To attempt that course of action will more than likely result in complete failure. We will work with you on work/career goals and financial goals. the money must follow. Do not think you can work on all of the habits at the same time.

The following are the rules and an explanation of the rules. For example. i. If your goal is to achieve a certain level of income. And it cannot process a negative picture. Now it is obvious that some goals will not be accomplished today.e. since that © Teach the Soul – 2007 57 . It can deal with the now. Positive – The subconscious mind cannot process a negative. Just start each goal with “I”. Your goals must be personal. what you want not what you don’t want.. say you want to double your earnings in one year. You are the only person in the world who can use the word “I” when referring to yourself. the subconscious mind has trouble with future events. Present tense – Just like negative images. Personal – It is easy to make sure your goals are personal. the mind tends to ignore the “non” and your goal becomes “I am a smoker”. Clearly not what you intended. the subconscious mind does not have to work on it now. Your goal should not be to double your earnings. The mind tends to think in pictures.”. positive and stated in the present tense. what picture comes to mind? Why a pink rabbit of course.Rules for Goal Setting For you to be successful in achieving your goals there are certain rules you must follow. If I ask you to not think about a pink rabbit. but you still express them in the present tense. If something is to take place in the future. If you state your goal as “I am a nonsmoker”. If your goal is to reach a certain weight. it should begin with “I earn …”. So always state your goal as a positive. Therefore you need to set your goals in the present tense. state your goal as “I weigh …. Therefore each goal should be stated in the positive.

Then the proper way to state your goal is to say. “I earn $100. If you allow your goals to settle to the back of your mind. Well in some respects your mind is like the junk drawer. it becomes impossible to find what you want. you will forget about them. We lose track of what we have filed in the junk drawer. The basic premise of this law is the longer the time between your intent and your action. For purposes of illustration. We will work on the specific steps to accomplish your goals in another section. After a few days or weeks. there is one more point to make about your goals. the old ones get pushed toward the back of our minds. Which brings up the need to constantly keep your goals in the forefront of your lives. This is the drawer where you put the miscellaneous things that you don’t want to throw away but you don’t have a specific place for filing. If you are like most people. As more things get stuffed in the drawer. Ever so often we have to clean it out by throwing most of the things away.000 per year. Note that the goal is personal. the level of the intent diminishes. If enough time passes the intent fades completely. you tend to forget those ideas that were so promising only a few weeks prior. You know what you are earning now. let’s say you are earning $50. There is a law in psychology called the law of diminishing intent. However.is not a specific amount. Therefore. usually the kitchen. you have a “junk drawer” somewhere in your house. as soon as you set a goal or have an idea. you must begin to take action on that goal or idea. © Teach the Soul – 2007 58 . positive and stated in the present tense. We store so many thoughts and ideas in our minds and with each new thought or new idea.000 per year by December 200X.

What are you going to do? Why is this goal important to you? How are you going to do it? When are you going to do it? We will work more on an action plan for achieving your goals. That is okay. you need to make sure that your goals are SMART goals. Just make sure your goals are very specific. A vague goal produces vague results. SMART Goals As you are listing your goals. © Teach the Soul – 2007 59 . you need to very clear about what you want.Otherwise your enthusiasm for that goal or idea fades into the background. You can also write them out daily. Anything that will keep your mind focused on your goal will assist in the achievement of your goals. A simple way to keep your goals a current part of your life is to write your goals on a 3 x 5 card and read them at least twice a day. S M A R T - Specific Measurable Attainable Realistic Time Specific For a goal to be specific. You may not currently have any idea about how you will achieve your goal. The following is a definition of SMART goals.

Measurable What gets measured gets managed. you are not striving for something totally out of reach. If your goal was to lose 15 pounds in six months. Most properly set goals are reachable. if you have been earning $50. For example. Only by measuring your progress will you be in a position to make adjustment to your actions to ensure you achieve your goals by the target date.000 per year. there is no point in setting a goal that is physically impossible to reach. Attainable Saying a goal should be attainable does not mean it should be easy. but you must set a more realistic time frame. Not that you can never achieve that goal.000. Far too many people set unrealistic time frames for achieving their goals. setting a goal to earn $1.000 next year is probably not attainable or realistic. You would break down your goal into pounds per month and then you would measure your progress. You must know if you are progressing adequately toward your goal. Realistic means given your present situation. On the other hand. You may also be seeking to accomplish © Teach the Soul – 2007 60 . Peter Drucker You will need to determine some milestones for your goals. you would not wait for five months to check your progress. Realistic This is a close cousin to attainable.

Time All goals must have a target time frame for achieving the goal.the goal within an unrealistic time frame. there is no commitment. You must set a realistic deadline and take the necessary action to achieve your goal. Your goal might be obtainable. A deadline spurs you to action. but you might need to have a more realistic time frame. Without a deadline. © Teach the Soul – 2007 61 . The time must be measurable. attainable and realistic.

Relationship Goals Short-term goals: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 62 . We will work on developing a step by step method of achieving them.To-do exercise Take some time to decide on your goals. Write them out on the attached worksheets and then put them in order of importance.

Work / Career Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ________ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 63 .

Physical Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 64 .

Emotional Health Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 65 .

Financial Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 66 .

Spiritual Goals Short-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ Long-term goals: _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _______ © Teach the Soul – 2007 67 .

There was only one thing missing. That was consistent action. There are lots of people who will get started. We spend far too much time in the past. But the simple truth is that most people do not live their lives in the present moment. finishing is the goal. consistent action. Before we go deeper into the specifics of taking action. trying out © Teach the Soul – 2007 68 .Taking Action I have known plenty of people who were great at setting goals but not very good at achieving them. You might think to yourself that you don’t spend any time in the past and you certainly can’t travel to the future. trying in our mind to change the outcome. While you can never finish unless you start. we need to spend a little time on some things that will help you in the process of taking action. We play past events over and over. Living in the present moment If I were to ask you how much time you spend in the past or spend in the future. Some even start with a bang. How do we spend time in the past? We are constantly replaying past events. you would probably give me a bit of a puzzled look. And the only way to finish is to take constant.

General Dwight Eisenhower. We can suppress our feelings about some past event or we can express our feelings. We need to plan. the commander of the Allied troops in Europe during World War II said this about planning.” Now what he meant might not be obvious.different endings. Instead you should learn to release the feelings. We can’t change it. Expressing usually shows up in some emotional outlet – anger. tears. that is the present moment. What is the answer? Accept the past. Trying to live out the future before it arrives. “In preparing for battle I have always found that plans were useless but planning is indispensable. You created the feelings and you can release them. If our minds are tied up in the past. Suppressing feelings about the past usually shows up in elevated stress levels. We get very attached to memories and refuse to let go. It does not matter how many time we replay things in our mind. While we are trying to reshape things that have happened. But consider this. we are not fully present in the current moment. we are letting go of the only thing we really do control. Realize that no matter how good or how bad some past event was. However we must not become too attached to the plan. we cannot change what has happened. resentment. Neither suppressing nor expressing is totally healthy. We imagine things we should have said or done and how that would make things different. Understand that you are not your feelings. There is a difference between planning and trying to live the future before it arrives. many things happened that the generals had not expected – and the plan no matter how © Teach the Soul – 2007 69 . nothing you do will change the outcome. We often spend a lot of time in the future. The past is history. When the actual battle started.

Take a good look at all the things you are doing. you have lots of clutter in your life. Spend your time learning and growing.carefully drawn out – was soon abandoned. We only have control over our reaction to events as they happen. If you are like most people. The less clutter and confusion you have in your life. But if they had tried to stick to the plan. We often try to shape how the future will unfold for us. These are very simple but important things you can do that will simplify your life. your schedule or your mind. we do not need to spend time trying to predict the future. But the process of planning made them question everything. no matter what the enemy. the easier it will be for you to focus your energy on achieving your goals. It may be your desk. They tried to prepare for all contingencies. there are some housecleaning activities that can speed your progress. The first step in housecleaning is to look around at all the clutter in your life. the weather and other unexpected happenings. We have no control over others or outside circumstances. You need to eliminate some things in your life. Are there some activities that are not really important? Are there some things that you are doing out of habit? Do you belong to © Teach the Soul – 2007 70 . While we certainly need to prepare for the future. they surely would have been in serious trouble. We get caught up in playing out how future events will play out. So the process was valuable. You will be better prepared for the future. Housecleaning As you set out to achieve your goals.

if you truly want to achieve your goals. Again. On the one hand it might seem like a blessing to live in so much abundance where we can pick and choose. You are not going to come up with the answer just off the top of your head. What is necessary for failure? To help you. you have way too many options. you might think back on some of the bigger failures in your life. If you are like most people. we choose both. What was the one thing they all had in common? If you have children or employees. I would like you to think about it for a few minutes.some clubs or other organizations that take a lot of time and energy but produce little value in your life? You will need lots of time and energy to focus on the things you really want. We also have far too many distractions. how would you answer? That is an interesting question. Rather than choose between belonging to organization A or club B. If you truly want to achieve your goals. Take the time now to rid your life of some of the clutter that is draining your time and energy. social events and in front of the computer monitor. Most of us find it difficult to make choices. But having too many options really keeps us from developing a very narrow focus. you need to reduce the number of distractions and the time and energy they consume. If I asked you what was necessary for failure. you will need to narrow your focus. We have too many television programs to choose from and spend too much time being distracted by TV programs. We have too many options. We spend too much time in meetings. We let celebrity news events distract us. This © Teach the Soul – 2007 71 . We let friends distract us. think about the times that they experienced failure.

It is not our fault. But it is all too common. it can not be considered a failure. Well the answer will surprise you. the one thing that all failures had in common was excuses. They often start with something like. If we can shift the responsibility to someone or something else. But in the end. If we do not take responsibility for our actions. So we don’t have to feel bad. it truly was a failure. What is absolutely necessary for failure? I am sure that right now you are scratching your head and wondering what can possibly be common to all failures.will take a bit of thinking. they are still excuses. we will not learn from them. we protect our ego. in my opinion that is not a failure. It might be helpful to look beyond the excuses and try to understand what we are attempting to accomplish with the excuses and what about the excuses contributes to the failure. in a group or with a client … no matter what. Now we all make mistakes. But here it is. When you learn. And if we do not learn. First. mine. And that is exactly why it is a failure. All the failures I have been associated with. Just think about it. © Teach the Soul – 2007 72 . the excuse is an attempt to shift the responsibility. It really does not matter how simple or elaborate they are. when you strip them down to the bare essentials. And the excuses can run from the bland to the unbelievable. And if you admit to your mistake. At least in our own mind we have rationalized our actions. It was not our fault. “I thought …” or “I didn’t know … “or “How was I to know …”. That is a learning experience. they are still excuses. take full responsibility and learn from it. Excuses.

You will rarely achieve all your goals working by yourself. that truly is a failure. We are quite creative in inventing excuses and at times actually give ourselves a pat on the back for coming up with “acceptable excuses”.But if in trying to protect the ego. And so would failures. If you are looking to grow and looking for folks to help you grow. So the one thing all failures have in common is excuses. we’d make a lot fewer mistakes. The first is expanding your list of contacts. there are some tools that will help you along the way. Do not be afraid that these people are too big or too important to help you. The more people you can enlist to help you. we refuse to take responsibility. How much better off would each of us be if every time we made a mistake. you need to find people who are further along the path to success than you are. Some might © Teach the Soul – 2007 73 . Some tools As you start to work on achieving your goals. we took full responsibility and learned from our mistakes? Excuses would vanish. stop and think. Next time you begin to offer an excuse. Don’t start by making new contacts on the same level you are. we refuse to really learn. the quicker and easier it will be to achieve your goals. Are you giving up a real learning opportunity to escape short term embarrassment? So start right now and eliminate excuses from your life. And because we would be learning from our mistakes.

Don’t try to fool them or make excuses for your lack of progress.feel that way. If you don’t maintain contact you will lose contact. you must honor their time and advice. But most will be willing to share some ideas and insights with you. One of the things you must do is get good at observing what successful people do. If you are going to seek help from successful people. they will cease offering any help. Once you have this list. But at the first sign that you are not doing the work. “Out of sight. out of mind” is true. But if you find a mentor that will give you a couple of hours per month. The old saying. Now do not expect them to baby sit you. taking responsibility for your own actions and are not really serious. find some method to maintain contact. While at first some mentors will be willing to help with little or no thought of return favors. it is highly like that the mentor will introduce you to additional valuable resources. But the majority of truly successful people are willing to help those who are totally dedicated to improving their lives. Find some ways to be of service to those who are helping you. This could be a bi-monthly or monthly progress report. You need to make a list of all the possible contacts and connections that might help you along your path. Treasure it like one. don’t ride the good horse to death. doing what you have committed to do. It should be clear to you that © Teach the Soul – 2007 74 . And never make the mistake of just calling on connections when you need something. They will also point you in the right direction and give you some guidance. Always be looking for ways to help others. you will have found a gold mine. a short telephone call every couple of weeks or a periodic email. If you are showing progress.

So you need to find out what they do that is different. Even though I had my basic tools. you need a pencil.successful people do not do what the majority of people do. When you commit to something. When I first started working as an accountant. They don’t act or live like the majority of people. You must engage in a process of constant learning and improvement. © Teach the Soul – 2007 75 . they probably do not realize and could not give you a good answer. If you ask them. He said if you are going to be doing accounting. Being dependable means being totally prepared. that is okay. I did not escape the lecture. I never forgot that lesson. The first time you ask. I am talking about being dependable in everyday matters. Assuming that part of your goal is about financial success. I was on a job with one other new accountant. people should be able to count on you. I am not talking about the exceptions. average person and expect to command higher than normal compensation. But not before he delivered a very stern lecture. The manager opened his briefcase and gave him a pencil. The other new accountant went to our manager and asked for a pencil. Now I know that things come up from time to time making it impossible for you to do what you had agreed to do. then you must excel at your chosen profession. This means that you do not settle for the minimum educational and training requirements. You must become an expert in your chosen line of work. Develop the habit of being dependable. you are fired. Be on time and be prepared. be sure you have them with you. Learn to observe. Whatever the tools of your business. You can not be run of the mill. The next you need to ask for the basic tools needed to do the job.

then you will need to be an above average person in your field. Epictetus If you expect to achieve extraordinary success. you will become the person people turn to when they need your knowledge and experience. At first you will simply be absorbing information. That is. This can be reading books. This is not as hard as you might think. we are hollow. you must be fully committed to your success. That is good but you will not get out in front by just reading. The only way I know is to take a systematic approach. listening and attending meetings. By sharing your knowledge. spend about half hour to one hour per day in concentrated study aimed to improve your skills in your field.If your plan is to make above average income. listening to CDs. Your level of Desire Soon you will be starting to take action towards achieving your goals. superficial people and we never develop our natural gifts. Tentative efforts lead to tentative outcomes. A half-hearted spirit has no power. One of the keys to achieving your goals is to be fully committed. watching DVDs and attending seminars and workshops. Unless we fully give ourselves over to our endeavors. Going at your goals in a © Teach the Soul – 2007 76 . But it will not happen by magic. You must learn to share your knowledge with others. You will need to become a teacher.

unrewarded genius is almost a proverb. you would be better off giving up now. you will have no trouble with this last point. everyone would be successful. Talent will not. Education will not. If it were a cake walk. You can look at your goals and get a feeling of helplessness. That does not mean it is impossible. You can absolutely count on some bumps in the road and some setbacks. Nothing in the world can take the place of persistence. Persistence and determination alone are omnipotent.half-hearted effort will never give you what you are seeking. Some people have used the mantra of TNT – Today Not Tomorrow.” Don’t let yourself get behind. Calvin Coolidge If you have the commitment. Here is where the strength of your commitment really shows. You must develop a bias for action. Here is where the “ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. You can stay ahead of the game by taking action each and every day. If you put things off. © Teach the Soul – 2007 77 . Other things will come up and you will slip behind. A lot of people will start strong and then when they meet the least bit of resistance. Do not let things stack up on you. You must make a strong commitment to your goals. And as soon as you get behind on your goals schedule it is all too easy to become overwhelmed. You have to go “all in”. If you are not willing to fully commit. you will lose the enthusiasm for doing them. the world if full of educated failure. Your commitment must be strong. Genius will not. develop the habit of “Do It Now”. when you feel like quitting. It does mean that when you meet resistance. nothing is more common that unsuccessful men with talent. you will need some extra reserves to push you through the resistance. they fold their tent and go home. That is.

” If you take small actions each day. consumerism is rampant. One last thought about your goals If you are like most people. We horde things. a bigger house. are able to send our children to the proper schools and colleges. you’ll never be able to choke it down. There is no point in setting goals. “How do you eat an elephant?” “One bite at a time. We buy expensive gadgets with the expectation that they will bring us a certain degree of happiness. In short. If you try to do it all at once. Now every high school student will write in their essays that happiness does not come with acquiring things. working hard to achieve them and the finding out that they really did not bring the satisfaction you had hoped and expected. Even some adults will say they firmly believe that. a county or beach home.It is like the old question. We say one thing and do another. But it probably would be helpful to examine your reasons for wanting those goals. In western society. We buy much more than we need or can properly use. before you know it you will be realizing your goals. We have come to believe that we will achieve happiness when we get a certain amount of money in the bank. you have a lot of material items on your goals list. happiness can only be found within. There is nothing wrong with those goals. But our actions and our words are not in harmony. © Teach the Soul – 2007 78 . we have been sold the idea that happiness comes with achieving a certain level of financial success. It might be a newer. You probably have also listed a certain amount of liquid assets (cash and securities) which is intended to provide a certain degree of security. more expensive automobile. have a certain size house in the proper area of town.

cannot be your motivational force. I am strongly suggesting that you understand that material possessions should not. The new always wears off. It is like a drug addict. So here is a very important lesson that you really need to understand. The more you get. You really need to make certain that your contribution to the world is equal or greater than what you are taking from the world. the more you will want. It drives us to protect its feelings. you will be on a circular chase that is never ending. bigger and better. What is the answer? You really must find your purpose in life. When you start to feed the ego. And the acquisition of things soothes the ego on a short-term temporary basis. Make sure that what you are doing is doing something for the betterment of mankind and the world. If we don’t have the latest and greatest. You get high. Why do we feel the need for all these latest and greatest gadgets? It is because of our ego.We think we need the smallest new cell phone on the market. then we somehow feel inferior. you are engaging in a game that you cannot win. Our ego is very fragile. Same as with drugs. If you engage in the pursuit of material things for the satisfaction of the ego. And what happens when the new wears off? We need something else newer. © Teach the Soul – 2007 79 . crash and then you need something bigger to get you high again. Find something where you are contributing more to life. Now I am not for a minute suggesting that you forgo all material possessions. We want an automobile that says we have made it. We also know we need the largest screen HDTV that is made.

The ego can never be satisfied. You will need lots of energy to see you through to the end. you have every right to drive a luxury automobile. you should have a very good set of goals with a specific date for accomplishing those goals. You will need to make a list of all the things you will need to achieve your goal. then you will be on the right road to achieving your goals and finding happiness. It is better if you pick one that is high on your list. then so long as you are providing service to the world. List © Teach the Soul – 2007 80 . If you choose to drive a luxury automobile. All I am suggesting is that you be well aware of what you want and why you want it. you are going to experience a real letdown. Happiness comes from ruling your ego – not from trying to satisfy it. Now you need to devise a plan to achieve those goals. so I want you to pick a goal that will really mean something to you when you achieve it. Here is where you will separate yourself from all the goal setters and become a goal achiever. Action plan If you have followed the instructions to this point. If you understand and accept that. Go to your revised list of goals and select one goal.I truly believe that you have the right to live in total comfort. Happiness truly does come from within. But if you think that once you get that high priced car you will have found happiness. You will never satisfy it.

And unless you are totally clear. the information you must obtain. you must do more than you have previously done. But you will not achieve stretch goals in one giant leap. There is no point in trying to work miracles. Once you really get clear about what you need. Next make a list of possible sources for the resources you do not currently possess. The next step is to lay out a plan or road map to achieve your goals. Then take an inventory of the skills and tools you already possess. Don’t fret over how or where you will get what you need. Just do something each day that moves you toward your goals and before long you will look back from where you started and be amazed at the progress you have made. For the mind to really perform. If you don’t have any idea where you will get some resource it is okay. So long as you are clear about a direction. Ask your © Teach the Soul – 2007 81 . Then begin to make a list of possible sources of obtaining those items you will need to achieve your goal. you must have focus. any funds you will need. The first thing you need to do is to make a list of resources you need to complete your goal. Let’s recap the steps we have taken. the mind begins to devise means of getting what you need. the mind will not be able to focus. The mind is a very complex and marvelous resource. The best way to obtain these resources is to ask. Achieving any goal should be a step by step process. To be more. Just become very clear about those things that you really need to achieve your goal.the skills you must acquire. As mentioned earlier. In short list everything you can think of that you might need to achieve your goal. one of the characteristics of a goal should be to stretch your abilities. You must move out of your comfort zone. You might say the mind loves a challenge.

They make lots of mistakes. Here is where a lot of people go wrong. if you are also a giver. You also must prepare a detail step by step plan for achieving your goals. The world can be a very giving place. you will be amazed at the number of people who will be willing to help you. Make sure there is a need for the product or service before you proceed to spend lots of money developing it. Just because you are in love with your product or service does not mean that everyone else feels the same about it. Then you must develop the product or service. There are some things that others will be able to do better than you.” Do not ask without being prepared to give something in return. you will need to start with a product or service that you are going to provide. But if you are just a taker. Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. And they wonder why they never get what they ask for. then you will not find people anxious to help. You will do much better working with a team than being a lone ranger.friends. so shall you reap. Ralph Waldo Emerson. your fellow employees and anyone else you can think of. Most people think they must do everything themselves. You must remember that “as you sow. © Teach the Soul – 2007 82 . Don’t let your ego get in the way of your success. If you ask in the proper manner. Far too many people ask without being prepared to also be a giver. The lesson here is “two heads are much better than one.” You cannot be an expert in all things. The first step in that process is to make sure the world wants or needs the product or service that you intend to deliver. If your goal is to become financially independent. they take much longer and in the end the product or service is not as good as it could have been.

They want to be able to do things that are not taking them towards their goals without having to account for it. This can be a coach/mentor or a friend. For an accountability partner to work. Emerson understood this very well when he wrote the words. will do more to help you achieve your goals than anything else I can recommend. If you select a friend. Often they will accept your excuses and let you off the hook. They do not have anyone to account to. It works. But you will never accomplish as much by yourself and you can with an accountability partner. do not rely solely on your own experience. Just make sure that you pick one that will really hold you accountable. As Benjamin Franklin said. “Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. That is not accountability. While a friend might seem like the easy route to take.” You need someone to hold you accountable. you will need to be totally honest. “It’s the easiest thing in the world for a man to deceive himself. but without effective © Teach the Soul – 2007 83 . Why? Most people really do not want to be held accountable. And we will accept our own excuses or justification. getting an accountability partner. You might think that you have the self-discipline that you need. Seek out the help of others. often the friend does not have the courage to really tell you like it is. Again.There is one reason that most people do not achieve their goals. This simple step. They want the luxury of being able to let their schedule slip. You can have an excellent product or service. the most important step is to market it.” We can make excuses about why we did not do what we were supposed to do. Most people will not do this simple step. You need someone to hold your feet to the fire. Once you have developed your product or service. make sure the friend understands the importance of holding you accountable.

marketing, it will remain your product or service. You must be able to convince other people to buy your product or service. Now that you have developed a detail plan of action, you must take action each and every day. Realize this, every thing you do, each and every day either moves you toward your goals or takes you in the opposite direction. Learn to examine your actions. Are they taking you toward your goals? If not, then they must be taking you away from your goals. Most people do some things that take them toward their goals but they also do a number of things that take them away from their goals. What happens? It is very simple. You are being pulled in two different directions. And the end result is you are not making sufficient progress toward your goals. It like a football team that makes a great play that gains 8 yards and on the next play gets penalized or set back 10 yards. The positive action was more than offset by the negative action. Learn about your negative actions and eliminate them from your life. Success is not a destination. Success is a journey. Make sure you are constantly on the right path and that you are constantly moving forward. With your detail plan for achieving your goals, you should have measurable milestones. Each time you reach a milestone, mark it on your goal worksheet. Also you should celebrate your small victories. By acknowledging your progress, you give yourself the necessary energy to keep pushing forward.

© Teach the Soul – 2007


Overcoming fear
Fear is probably responsible for keeping more people stuck in their present circumstances than lack of knowledge or lack of money. There is lots of talk about fear but few people really take the time to understand what fear really in, how much influence it has on our lives and how you can overcome the fear. In some respects, you can think of fear a lot like you think of love. Everyone talks about it, but very few people can really explain what it is, how it affects our lives and what we can do about it. Fear comes in different shapes and sizes. Most of us think of fear as some outside event that causes all our vital signs to go off the charts. That is simply one aspect of fear. There is no question if we happen to get caught in the crossfire of a

© Teach the Soul – 2007


shoot-out between some rival drug dealers, we would experience that sort of fear. But that type of fear is usually short lived. The circumstances that cause that type of fear normally do not last long. And once the threat is removed, we no longer experience that time of fear. But that is not the most damaging type of fear. It is the fear of failure and the fear of success that really keep us trapped in what is all too often called our comfort zone. I have a lot of trouble with the term comfort zone. Very few people are truly comfortable. I think the term really means that we would rather deal with the devil we have than deal with the devil that we might get if we did something to change our circumstances. Changing our circumstances involves dealing with the unknown. And for most of us, that involves a certain amount of fear. We need to understand that fear is perfectly normal. It is the body’s built in self-preservation method. This is some build in instinct that we have possessed for ages. But is something is unknown, the ego senses fear. Our ego is determined to save us at all cost. So if some activity is new, it will by definition involve some unknown, then the ego goes into the fight or flight mode. Since modern society does not favor either option, we are left with no alternate way to deal with the fight or flight emotions. The body has no internal way to deal with this type of fear. We can’t run and there is no enemy to fight. This fear that we can’t see and have no effective method to fight does two things. One it raises our stress levels and since the only way we can imagine getting away from the fear is to stay away from the unknown, we stay stuck. Stress levels

© Teach the Soul – 2007


he had two choices – he could stand and fight or he could run for his life. but we have this surge of anger because we believe that the offending driver violated our rights. We all have this vague notion of stress but most of us do not understand what really causes the stress and how our bodies respond to it. He would evaluate the potential danger of the situation and make the decision to fight or flee. The adrenaline gland produces energy boosting secretions and the immune system shuts down.Our increased stress level is responsible for the vast majority of medical problems in the United States. most of the encounters with the unknown are not life threatening. most times we are not in danger of an accident. The threats are to our ego. We need to go back a few thousand years to the days of the cave man to get a basic understanding of what is going on with stress in our everyday life. If he was going to fight. All the body’s energy was turned to immediate survival. When someone cuts in front of us on the freeway. After all. In either case. When the caveman encountered the unknown. if it did not survive the immediate threat. the body needed a surge of energy. We can feel our pulse rate soar as our © Teach the Soul – 2007 87 . When this happened. he needed the burst of energy to propel him away from the danger. But for most encounters we cannot physically fight or run. So as soon as he sensed some sort of danger. If he was going to run. There was no need for the long-term immunity system to be using up precious body resources. he needed energy. But our body reacts the same way. Most of the encounters today are not threats of physical harm. there would be no need for the long-term immunity system. the adrenaline gland would release a burst of energy. the immune system would shut down. Today.

Except for our typical hand salute and a few choice words that are only heard by us and any occupants of our car. The problems in today’s society are different. we are generally helpless. Actually it is even worse than that. But our options for immediate redress are very limited. We become frustrated and angry. A similar situation occurs when we are on the phone trying to resolve a dispute concerning a purchase we made or a charge to our account. Now when we start to imagine things that could happen that is just another way to describe fear. And when things happen that do not conform to our ideal world. There is no one to physically fight and there is no place to run. The person on the other end of the line will not listen to our problem. Yet our bodies are still reacting to the flight or fight design that has been outdated for centuries. Again. the way we are dressed or some other negative comment about us. We begin to imagine things happening that are not in accordance with our ideal world and we get stressed out. Fear is sharp sighted and can see things underground and much more in the skies.heart pumps faster. The truth is our lives are filled with stressful situations – situations that are not going the way we want them to do. We could be on the receiving end of a complaint or unreasonable request from our boss. we become stressed. the adrenaline system starts to work but it is all for naught. Miguel Cervantes © Teach the Soul – 2007 88 . If could be a co-worker saying something about what we did. We have our idea of how the world should work. Our typical day is filled with other situations like the above two examples.

“Don’t climb that tree. Now of course it did not stop with our parents. Don’t make waves. If you are “different” you will attract attention – and it will not be good. We went to great efforts to lose ourselves in the crowd. Do not stand out from the crowd. When we went off to school there was this unspoken directive – fit in. There have been studies that showed that 95% of the children in the first grade tested highly creative. you never know what might happen. you will fall and break a leg.” “Don’t talk to strangers. We were taught to fit in. they were ever vigilant about telling us of the dangers inherent in trying new things. But testing the same children when they were in the 12th grade.” And of course the list goes on and on. But by constantly repeating these and other similar phrases. We can fear something and then get stuck in a no action mode. To some extent we can probably trace part of this fear back to our parents. We became afraid to express ourselves. We let our imaginations run wild. In an effort to protect us and keep us safe. All of these things that we heard as children hundreds of times were meant to keep us safe. Failing to take action is at times carries more risk than taking action. they drummed caution into our heads. Fear of failure Our fear of failure often prevents us from even trying to achieve a goal. © Teach the Soul – 2007 89 . The can be a self-fulfilling exercise. generally we are anticipating the worst. only 5% tested creative.When we start projecting things that might happen.

Everything was new and she would not know anyone there. Our daughter had gone to a private school from Pre-K through the sixth grade. She wanted some support. But logic will never be more powerful than emotion. But because of years of conditioning. “You are not going to just drop me off are you?” It really was not a question. We must stand out. So I parked the car. It was a demand. took her by the hand and we approached a group of students that appeared to be about her age. I asked if anyone was going to be in the seventh grade. We want to blend in. one bouncy young girl stepped forward and introduced herself. she had to start at a new school. As we approached the school she said. In short we have been conditioned to be a logical. thinking person. Yet we have been taught to rely on our information and knowledge.But we know if we are going to design an extra-ordinary life. we are afraid to stand out. which was the highest grade the school offered. She became a guide for my daughter for the day. After the second try. She was very quiet. The school we picked out was much larger and across town. she was not her usual bubbly self. So how do we over come fear? The first thing you need to understand that fear is an emotion. As I was driving her to class on that first day. So for the seventh grade. © Teach the Soul – 2007 90 . Let me relate a little story that will illustrate this concept. We must be our own unique person. we cannot be part of the crowd. I explained that my daughter was new there and needed someone to show her around.

What difference do you think it would have made for me to explain for hours on end that there would be plenty of other new students in the same situation? I can tell you it would have made no difference. We only had kerosene lanterns. Her new little friend gave her the emotional support she needed. This actually happened to me when I was about six years old. It was like the chair was wearing the shirt. The pants were laid down on the seat of the chair and © Teach the Soul – 2007 91 . then the fear goes away. It will not work. but we did not have electric lights in that particular house. Identify fear Even though fear is an emotional response. it is sometimes helpful to dig deeper and try to expose our fears for what they are. Now this might be difficult for you to believe.What are the lessons from this incident? More than you might think. let me illustrate with a little story. We lived in a rent house in a rural area. I had opened my shirt and hung it over the back of the chair. I solved the problem by finding a buddy that she could connect with. First you must understand that my daughter was frightened with the prospect of going to a school where everything was totally new. Again. trying to overcome the fear with rational reasoning is useless. Well there was a chair in my bedroom and rather than hang my clothes on a rack. Logic or reasoning really will not overcome fear. Fear is an emotion. Emotions always overrule logic. When you are dealing with someone in a situation where they are experiencing fear. If we can bring the unknown to the known.

Now let me tell you. my fear was real. Take a sheet of paper and draw a line down the middle. In fact I really urge you to try to examine your fears. you will probably find that your fears are actually baseless. Arrange those items from the least likely to the most likely outcome. it looked like a person was sitting there. This is a method of evaluating the risk. list all the unpleasant things that might come about from the failure of the project. But asking someone who is experiencing fear to examine the fear rationally is a tall order. Of course I had forgotten that I had carelessly decorated the chair with my clothes. Then consider all the bad things that might happen. In the dim light. rational thinking never enters into the picture. If you are reluctant to move ahead on a project or idea. So if you are fearful about taking action and you can rationally dig deeper concerning your fear. There was nothing of value to steal. I begin to see that my fears were baseless. it will not work. I might have concluded that any self-respecting burglar would never break into a house such as ours. here is one way to try and overcome the fear. list all the good that you expect to gain from completion of the project. But here is one exercise that you should do. It was only my clothes. I am not saying you should not try. When we are in the grips of fear. But that is one of the problems with fear. I just know for some people.draped down toward the floor. I was imagining all sorts of sinister things that a burglar could be doing sitting there in the chair. Well I awoke in the early morning hours and when I looked in the direction of the chair. If I had thought rationally. Well as morning broke and the light improved. On the other side. On one side. If the most likely negative outcome is not that bad and the most likely positive outcome brings you © Teach the Soul – 2007 92 .

© Teach the Soul – 2007 93 . you need a strong emotional reason to achieve a goal that will move you to where you want to be. this should give you ample reason to proceed. You must be fully committed to achieving your goals. You need a strong belief in yourself and your abilities. you will be in a stronger position next time you are faced with a similar situation. We allow ourselves to make excuses for our lack of accomplishments. which we all too readily accept. How do you develop strong emotional reasons for achieving your goals? This is basically intrinsic motivation. By having someone that we respect hold us accountable. You need to truly believe that what you are going after is the right thing for you to do and to do anything less would be settling for less than your full potential.satisfactory results. You can enlist the assistance of an accountability partner. it should overcome the fear. we stand a much better chance of accomplishing our goals. it is probably not the end of the world. If your emotional reasons for achieving your stated goals are strong enough. This is simply a method of bringing your fears into the light. It is much more difficult for us to fabricate an excuse for our accountability partner than it is for us to con ourselves. Keep in mind that even if the worst case should actually happen. Often we are not able to discipline ourselves. Desire for gain As we have discussed before. If you do fall flat on your face but learn from your mistake. Looking at the worst case and the probability that it will or will not happen will often give you enough comfort to proceed.

It does no good to have someone who will not really hold you accountable. we might set a goal to have a million dollars within five years.If you choose to use an accountability partner. For example. you need to examine your desires concerning that goal. One last method There is one final method I can suggest for overcoming your fears. We set them because we feel like we are supposed to. then you need to do your best to make sure that the emotional reasons for achieving your goals are strong enough to push you forward through your fears. This one can best be described as the kaizen way. If rationally looking at your fears will not dissolve them. Now we might not really have a strong desire to have that much money. Now while we think of it as being Japanese. At times we set goals that we truly do not believe in or are not committed to. we might not believe that we are capable of having that much or we might not believe that we deserve to have that much money. If you are consistently having trouble achieving a goal. an American. We are often setting these goals for someone else. Is it a goal that you truly want? Why do you want it? What are the benefits of obtaining that goal? What are the penalties for not obtaining it? How will your life change with or without achieving the goal? These are tough questions and are not to be answered lightly. you must choose one that will not let you off the hook too easily. and I highly recommend you do. © Teach the Soul – 2007 94 . we will let our fears keep us from taking the action that must be taken to achieve that goal. You need to give them adequate thought. The name comes from the Japanese method of quality control. it was actually exported to Japan by Edward Deming. If we are not fully committed to that goal.

Your mind will take that as a major change and while you might not recognize it as fear. the way we act. you might decide to break off the first bite and throw it away. Self-discipline would really not be required. Some people make a goal to devote one or two hours per day to such a program. we bring about fear. Generally when we set out to make changes. Our ego is comfortable with life as it is.The whole concept of the kaizen is to take small but consistent steps toward your goal. But if we attempt the changes using the kaizen method. your mind will work to keep things as they are. but at an emotional level. selfimprovement program. our ego resists the changes. Another example might be starting a self-development. instead of jumping on a diet you would start so small that it would hardly be noticeable. Therefore when we try to make substantial changes in what we are doing. Change involves the unknown. The unknown provokes fear. that can be a bit overbearing for some people. instead of cutting our candy bars totally. But if you used the kaizen method. Say for instance. Something so small that anyone could do it. Let me give you a specific example. we undertake to make massive changes in a short period of time. the changes will be so small that the ego does not even realize we are making changes. Changes too small to register on the fear scale are acceptable to the ego. Let’s say you wanted to go on a diet and lose 10 pounds. I totally endorse such a program. And if you start out trying to devote an hour per day you might carry it out for a week or © Teach the Soul – 2007 95 . We are probably not even aware of the fear. It is uncomfortable with changes and will in fact take action to make sure the changes do not come about. However. as a natural reaction to the changes.

It is the unknown that we fear. But you would have done it so gradually you never would have induced the fear of the unknown. the less there is to fear.two before you totally abandoned the idea. Set the steps so small that anyone could do them. The more we learn about what we fear. Often we fear the concept or the shadow rather than the reality. you will get there © Teach the Soul – 2007 96 . Your mind would have generated excuses not to continue. Be sure you have strong emotional drives that will propel you to our goals. Just make sure the accountability partner will truly hold you accountable. The second method is to make sure we are totally committed. By taking small but consistent steps to achieve your goals. There are three basic methods to overcome fear. So the more we know. fear is an emotion and rarely will we be able to rationally overcome our fear by saying there is nothing to be afraid of. Fear would have been behind the abandonment. But if you employed the kaizen method. The more you know the less that is unknown. the less hold it will have on us. First is to examine the fear. If the emotional drive toward your goal is stronger than the fear. And if you keep up the five minutes until it becomes an ingrained habit. you will have no trouble doing what is needed. So the very first step in overcoming fear is to understand as much as you can about what you are fearful of. To recap. Get it out in the open and see the reality of what you fear. Now anyone should be able to devote five minutes per day to self-improvement. Gradual small steps would eventually get you to the hour or two hours per day that would be your ultimate goal. And the last method is the kaizen method. You may also find emotional support by using an accountability partner. you might start with five minutes per day. it would then be easy to expand to 10 minutes per day.

you must learn to get the most value out of your day. If you are going to be successful in life. They are always put off until tomorrow. The end result is none of the important things ever get done. The more important things we allocate to some future time period. Give up on the idea of managing time. “Make each day count.” Of course there are lots of variations of that phrase. © Teach the Soul – 2007 97 . And unfortunately we allow more and more things to become urgent. Adopt the motto. I am too busy.much faster and if the steps are small enough. I don’t know where the day went. there will be no fear involved. Time cannot be saved or compressed. We often let the urgent take control of our lives and therefore put off the really important task until some future time. Accept that you can only manage yourself. tasks and your commitments. You must stop letting the minutes slip away from you. the more likely we will become overwhelmed at all the important things that need to be done. You have some control over how you choose to use your time. Manage your projects. And of course – time flies. The truth is we cannot manage time. Time One of the most often heard phrases today is.” You probably have seen some books or courses on time management. “I don’t have any time.

the president further told him that if he could show them a system for doing what they knew needed to be done. We need to decide on our most important tasks and rank those tasks in order of importance. It is common for us to handle these urgent tasks without regard to the value of the task. And often there is some small task to be accomplished as a result of the call. if it is at the expense of something that is 5 or 10 times more important. It must be answered. “We know what needs to be done. You must learn not to let the urgent take precedence over the important. There is a story told about a management consultant who was trying to secure a consulting job for a major steel manufacturing company.” As the story goes. He was pitching the president of the steel company of the value of his services. We just don’t have the time to do what we know needs to be done. Normally we do not stop and gauge the value of the task.For most of us a ringing telephone or cell phone is an urgent matter. The very best way to make sure that we are handling things in their order of importance is to plan our time. he told the president that he could show him how to improve the productivity and profit of the organization by identifying what needed to be done. As part of his sales presentation. The president reportedly replied. He further © Teach the Soul – 2007 98 . The consultant replied that was a fairly easy task. He asked the president to take out a pencil and paper. it is not the best use of your time. we just put it on top of the list and get it done. While there is something to be said for getting things done. Then to list the six most important tasks he needed to accomplish tomorrow. Once he had listed the six items. he would gladly pay him any reasonable sum he requested. the consultant asked him to put those items in their order of importance.

We think that we must stop whatever we are doing and give our full attention to the telephone. it might have © Teach the Soul – 2007 99 . interruptions by co-workers.000 for that simple but highly effective system. emails. But so long as he had all the information. While it is easy to fool ourselves into thinking we are making progress by crossing things off our list. You need to always make sure you are working on the important tasks. Time vampires suck up your time. Well the president meet with so much success using this system. A few years ago. it is reported that the voluntarily sent the consultant a check for $25. You will notice that he limited his to do list to six items. The most common time vampires are the telephone. you can go to the other tasks that need to be done. 30 and even 50 items on their to do list. it is okay. If he could not finish item number one because he was waiting on someone else for more information or action. Often we allow the telephone to rule our activities. then put it aside and work on item number two. But if you never get to those unimportant tasks. When that happens. television and other such unimportant activities. I have seen people that had 20. there is the tendency to work on the easy items first to get them off the list. If you finish the important tasks and still have time. we are not working on the most important things.instructed the president that when he arrived at work tomorrow morning he was to work on item number one and stick with it until it was finished. Be on the lookout for time vampires. You need to list your tasks in the order of importance and spend your time and energy on the most important things first. he was not to stop work on item number one for any reason. There are a couple of points worthy of mentioning.

you are giving up control of your life. That is simply not the case now. If you give up control of your time. If you have your co-workers collect all their questions and schedule a fixed time to go over them. This forces the caller to leave a message about the nature of the call and if the call is important to you. The important lesson concerning time vampires is you must control your time. It is best to have designated time for scheduled meetings to discuss projects than to be interrupted ever time a question arises. have it so that you get notified every time you receive a new email. One of the most effective methods of effectively utilizing your time is to block out time for certain tasks. interruptions from co-workers can really suck up your time. getting everyone together for a schedule meeting ensures that everyone gets the same information together and reduces the time lost in individual explanations. Most email is not so important that it needs to be answered immediately. Do not let other control your time. If you work in an office. Email can be a real time vampire if you check your email every hour or so. If you have more than one person who reports to you or works on a peer level. you will save a tremendous amount of time. Let’s say that you © Teach the Soul – 2007 100 .been more important to answer each and every call. you can gather any information you need to complete the call. Don’t fall into the habit of letting email become a time vampire. or worse yet. Most emails are simply not that important. Then return the call on your schedule. It is much more productive to let most calls go to voice mail. It is difficult to estimate the time lost in starting and stopping whatever you might have been working on. It is a real time saving technique to check and answer your email once in the morning and once in the afternoon.

Multi-tasking is one of the buzz words in our daily life. or even while someone is talking to us. the value of time blocking lies in not allowing anything encroach on your designated activity during the allocated time period. If you block out one morning and one afternoon each week to concentrate on marketing and then focus your attention on that task. Most marketing is hit and miss. To a large extent. You will need to discipline yourself and train those who work with you. One that I highly recommend is to listen to educational. While in theory. But by blocking out the time and not letting anyone or anything interrupt you. If you are doing some mundane task like folding envelopes you might be able to © Teach the Soul – 2007 101 . We probably are all guilty of attempting to multi-task at some time during the day. Do not let anything short of a real emergency interrupt your time blocks. it is not. be there. you will be able to accomplish a lot more than normal. motivational audio programs while you are driving. That simply means give your full attention to whatever you are doing. We might be checking out email while we are on the phone. Where ever you are. one of the most important tasks you have is marketing. There are a few activities where it makes sense to engage in multi-tasking efforts. As the business owner. There is a saying that I really like – wherever you are. it sounds like making good use of your time. at first this will be a bit of a challenge.own your own business. But the rewards are well worth it. inspirational. I must warn you. you will see remarkable improvements in your marketing efforts. be there.

tell them in as polite a manner as possible. The vast majority of the time you attempt to do two things at once. If you are attempting to do paperwork. It does not bode well for building relationships. Generally the other person will pick up on your lack of total attention. The term multi-task meant to be able to switch from one project to another with ease. It is not the most effective use of ones time and attention. A lot of people think that it means trying to do two things at once. give them your full attention. Associates © Teach the Soul – 2007 102 . Focus all your energies on the task at hand. In some cases it is just poor manners.listen to audio programs. in some cases it is downright rude and in most cases it is only partially engaged in two very different activities. focus on the activity at hand. at best you do both poorly. you are not fully engaged in the task of attentively listening to the other person on the phone. It is not the way to save time. It is very easy to look around and spot someone dining out. check your email or other such task while talking on the phone. driving. If the other person is worth listening to. You will do a much better job in less time by giving your full attention to the main task. But anything where you are interacting with others. If you are truly not interested in what the other person has to say. shopping or engaged in any number of other activities and on their cell phone.

you must not let their actions derail yours. I have often been asked for advice on how to handle a negative family member or other relative. The people you associate have way too much influence on your life to leave this to chance. I am not saying that you must like all or any of the things the troublesome relative does. Let’s face it. There are some circumstances when you will need to break away from some family members. we all probably have one or two relatives. While you cannot change anyone. So save all your energy and efforts for yourself. The first thing you need to remember is you are not going to change them. It is difficult enough to change yourself. Learn to accept what they do with calmness. If they are doing things that are detrimental to your well being then you cannot passively sit by and watch. It is your reaction to their actions. If they are engaged in selfdestructive behavior and it has the potential to involve you. it is © Teach the Soul – 2007 103 . You have no ability to change another person. Often we do not make a conscious choice about the people we associate with. It can be very difficult to design your life when you are surrounded by family and relatives who are working to keep you the way you are. But since you actually have no control over what anyone else does. You need to proactively decide on the people you will associate with in life.Your life will be determined to a large part by the people you choose to associate with. We tend to associate with the people we meet at work or people we meet by accident. The second thing to remember is their actions really do not affect you. then take what ever steps are needed to distance yourself from the relationship. some closer than others that we would gladly trade in if only there were an outlet for them.

Explain that you would like to learn from them and ask if they are willing to give you some time and guidance on a regular basis. These will be peer type relationships. you must honor their time and experience. you can escape their influence. Even if you cannot escape their company. You must avoid people who want to make you dependent on them. dedicated people. While they generally do not expect direct compensation.foolish to stay in harms way when you know that eventually their actions will directly affect you. These are the people you want to be your mentors/role models. If your family and relatives are just an annoyance and not a real impediment. learn to block out their negative comments and actions. You control how you react to things. Always come prepared to learn. It is helpful if you bring a specific agenda and stay focused on it. How do you form new more valuable relationships? The first step is to take a look at what you aspire to become. Then look for people who have already achieved what you want to become. Don’t let them drag you down. You need to be careful to avoid dependency relationships. Most successful people are more than happy to mentor sincere. Do not ask someone to be your mentor and then disagree with their guidance. Find out as much about them as you can. do not let people © Teach the Soul – 2007 104 . These will be your mentors. Also look for people who wan to be more and achieve more from life. If you personally know someone that you want to mentor you. At the same time. the best thing is to simply give them a call. What should you look for in a relationship? Look for people who have already achieved what you aspire to become. Show up on time for your appointments and be totally prepared for the session.

To truly gain the maximum value. you must make it a point to get to know the other people in attendance and then once you have returned from the program. Don’t wait until you need something © Teach the Soul – 2007 105 . You will be repaid many times over. be quick to support and help others who are trying to improve themselves. we generally think of friends and coworkers. The right mentor/coach will return many times the cost of their services. boot camps and seminars in your chosen field. conferences. But there is one other category that you should not overlook. You want to associate with people who are independent yet understand and appreciate the value of working with others. That is paid mentors or coaches. Most people are not willing to pay the price for mentors or coaches. I have found on many occasions that the value of the contacts I make at such events far exceeds the cost of attending the programs. They think they are too expensive. It works both ways – you need to associate with those who are where you want to be and those who want to be where you are. normally you will gain access to many other like minded individuals.become dependent on you. There is no better way to help yourself than to help others. One other thing you should do is to look for professionally sponsored educational workshops. The connections you will gain will often prove much more valuable that the cost of the services. When we think of those associates that will have a major influence on our lives. As you move up in life. follow-up with all the contacts you made. Actually this is something that you are going to need to get over if you truly want to be highly successful. You must be a giver. In addition when you engage the services of a mentor/coach. They can help you rapidly accelerate your success.

you would think that people would have a better attitude about money. Yet as important as many people try to make money. I cannot know what stories you heard about money when you were a child. truly understand what money is and how to obtain the money the need. W. Money is like a sixth sense without which you cannot make a complete use of the other five. “Money does not grow on trees. They tend to measure success in terms of money. People are constantly preoccupied about money or the need for more money in their lives. Or perhaps it is more correct to say the lack of money. Making Money There is nothing so degrading as the constant anxiety about one’s means of livelihood.from the people you met. but I can tell you some of the more popular things that most of us were taught about money in our childhood. it will be there. very few people really understand what money is and how it is earned. Somerset Maugham It seems like money is on everyone’s mind. Build the relationship and then when you need some help. Many people make money a very important part of their lives. Your attitude about money was probably heavily influenced by how your parents viewed money.” © Teach the Soul – 2007 106 . If something is that important.

We were all taught some or all of those lessons. Actually the people that work the hardest are generally at the lower end of the economic scale. So what is money? First I will say what money is not.“Money is the root of all evil. “Your father has to work hard for his money. The folks in the white shirts that only © Teach the Soul – 2007 107 .” Like somehow having money made one dirty. And there is no correlation between hard work and money.” Like accumulating money above a certain amount must involve some illegal activity. Money is actually not scarce at all. which is scarce. it would be as follows: You have to work really hard for money.”) “They are filthy rich. I’ll explain that a little later. The people working with a shovel or doing other demanding back breaking work generally are on the lower end of the economic ladder. (The Bible verse says.” If you were to summarize all the attitudes about money that most of us heard when we were children. Having a lot of money does not mean you were involved in anything illegal. “The love of money is the root of all evil. All giving us a totally incorrect view of money. Hard work generally does not guarantee a sufficient amount of money. Money is dirty and having too much probably means you were engaged in some illegal activity. And in fact it can seemingly grow on trees or out of thin air. “They have more money than the law allows. It is not dirty. Wanting money is evil.

How does the marketplace determine the value of your time? By the complexity of the job you perform and the amount of time it takes to train someone to do the job and the number of people capable of doing that job. So for the workers in the © Teach the Soul – 2007 108 . it is the value you bring to the marketplace during and it is measured in a period of time.break a sweat on the handball or tennis court generally make multiples of the income of the hardest working class. If you want to make more money. you must understand what money is. Now you may think that you know what money is. It makes commerce much easier because then it is not necessary for us to barter our services for the things we need. Give higher value services or give the same value services to more people. Now you may be thinking that explanation is rather simple and you already knew that. you can do so in only two ways. But do you really understand at a deeper level what money is? If you want to increase your level of money. But the money you receive is the value of the services you render. But you are not really getting paid by the hour. It is not your time. You probably have a few dollars in your purse or wallet and can easily recognize that as money. Money of course is simply a medium of exchange. You cannot design your life to have all the money you want or need if you do not understand this concept. You probably get paid for a certain amount of time worked – either per hour or per month. You may know it but do you apply that knowledge in your life? Let’s talk about your job. You are getting paid for the value you bring to that hour.

On the other end of the scale. If attaining a more affluent life is part of your design.” Well it is actually better than growing on trees. Therefore the value they bring to the marketplace is much greater. they did not come by their wealth from their own labor. Now if you want to earn more. their pay is not that much. And there are business executives that thought of new ways to do business that have become extremely wealthy in a few short years. I said I would explain that money does “grow on trees. there is one question that you must answer. you will see that all these people. artist and business executive either brought very high value to a few people or a little value to the masses of people. They have created money from their ideas. Money can be created out of thin air. It takes less than a day to train them in the basics of their job and unfortunately there are always a lot of folks willing to do that job. the writer. But if you look beyond the idea. They got wealthy by implementing their ideas.fast food outlets or the cashier in the local supermarket. But there are software developers that have created fortunes with their intellectual ideas. Of course the easy examples are writers and artist that create things of great value using little more that paper and ink or canvas and paint. What value can you bring to the marketplace? What unique talent or service can you provide to others? Will you concentrate on high value © Teach the Soul – 2007 109 . you must find out how to bring more value to the market place. If you study most of the wealthy people. You can earn as much as you wish so long as you are supplying what other people want or need. you have professional people who spend years in training and are not easily replaces.

On the other hand. Since we are totally familiar with our products or services. Let’s take an example of a service that most everyone has used – the preparation of their tax return. the firms that are highly selective. It done correctly. the less they are able to charge. We tend to discount the value of whatever we offer for sale. Said differently. And often © Teach the Soul – 2007 110 . The more a product or service is reduced to a commodity. the outcome is the same. that appeal only to a select few or to highly specialized situations will be able to charge significantly higher fees. I What is the value of your goods or services? This is a real problem for most people. The fees to prepare an identical tax return can run from a low of around $200 to $1. if they are appealing to the mass market. you need to make the product or service as unique as possible. In order to increase the value of any product or service.services to a select few or will you try to expand your services to the masses. The more people think of a product or service as a commodity – that is basically the same no matter who is selling it – the more the decision is based solely on price. the more competitive pressure there will be in the market place.000 or even higher. The less selective the firm preparing the return. But the fee can be significantly different depending on some positioning on the part of the company providing the service. Some people do it themselves but a large number of people hire a professional to prepare their tax return. we tend to place a lower value on them. in general their prices will be cheaper.

Just for example. But if you choose the higher billing rate. If you were going with the higher billing rate. Now consider an alternate situation. There might be some price resistance. let’s say you could do one tax return every two hours. But at the higher billing rate.000 in billings. Let’s say you were doing tax returns. you would then charge $200 per each return you prepared.000 per week. That means that you would need to charge $400 per each return. You stand a much better chance of being highly successful is you will concentrate on providing higher value products or services and charging accordingly. There is one other thing you should consider. Some potential clients might not be willing to pay the higher price. Here is where things get interesting. you probably would not get quite as much business. And that is what will happen when you compete on price. The point of this example is to show the value of raising your rates. If you decided you wanted to make an average of $100 per hour. It is better to work less and make more than you wear yourself out and still not make any money. Let’s say you wanted to make $200 per hour. you would bill out $4. How hard do you want to work for your money? Let’s consider a couple of examples. even working only 30 hours per week would bring in $6. you might only attract enough clients to bill out 30 hours per week. Even if you only worked half time you would bring in the same dollar amount. at the lower rate and only worked 40 hours per week.times the level of complexity or amount of work involved is relatively the same. © Teach the Soul – 2007 111 . There are very few businesses where you can compete on price and still make good money. If you were booked solid.

You need to be aware of the number of potential consumers of your product or services. if your product or service can be delivered digitally or over the phone. The value of your services and the number of people you can reach. If your product or service requires face to face interaction. However. There are two components to making money. How do you decide on a product or service? One of the worst mistakes you can make is to develop a product or service that you are in love with only to find there are not enough people who share your views. limiting yourself to a certain geographical area can have some serious limitations on the potential size. you have a much higher potential market. © Teach the Soul – 2007 112 . then the potential number of customers is limited to the population within a certain radius of your base of operations. And to a large extent that is determined by the distribution channels available to you. growth and profitability of your business. Just because you have the potential for a huge market does not necessarily mean that is the ideal market for you. The number of people you can reach will depend to some extent on the nature of your product or service.How much can you earn? The amount of money you can earn will be determined by the value of the services you provide and the number of people you reach. On the other hand.

Beware of asking your friends and relatives about the merits of your idea. painter or brain surgeon. But the more © Teach the Soul – 2007 113 .000 project because they “knew” the market. I have seen businesses reluctant to spend $50. And eventually they lost considerably more because the market was not ready for the product. The people in focus groups are like most humans. The only true indicator is to do market test when it requires a potential consumer to plunk down some money. energy and money on developing a product that there is insufficient demand for. Even though they are trying to be open and honest. It order to appeal to your market.000 on market research on a $50. You can decide on the value of your services. You must develop some unique approach. You are probably the worst judge of the merits. Make sure you have a good market for your product before you build a business that the market will not support. Specialize. They were not willing to ensure their bet by spending the $50. Value position If you are going to segregate yourself/business from the crowd. Even paid focus groups can and often miss the mark when it comes to evaluating market demand. Your friends and relatives are a close second. you will need to develop some unique product or service.You will need to do some market research before you spend a lot of time. Market research is the least expensive and perhaps the most important part of any project or business decision.000. but ultimately the market place will decide what your goods or services are worth. Become an expert in your field.000. you need to have position your product or service as something special. they have a built in inclination to tell you what you want to hear. You can be the best carpenter.

But that one he got completely wrong. “Build a better mousetrap but without effective marketing mice will multiply. Skills or proficiency does not determine demand for your product of service. Only by offering something different will you be able to charge premium prices for your products or services. “Build a better mousetrap and the world will beat a path to your door. you will need to charge premium prices for your services. And if you want to achieve a high degree of financial success. How do you establish value? You don’t focus on the product. But if your book product clearly has value beyond what is typical. I would alter it to read like this.” Now Emerson was one of America’s brightest thinkers and writers. © Teach the Soul – 2007 114 . you must be able to clearly establish the value of what you are offering. The market cannot buy what it does not know about or value. Not only must you be proficient in attracting customers to your product or service. you will need to establish that. without effective marketing – you will have lots of product gathering dust and idle time on your hands. You must become an expert at marketing. you focus on the results the user will derive from the product. Some products or services have some clear upper limits on the value of the product or service. the less the market will be able to compare you to someone down the street.” It does not matter how good your product or service. No one will be offering exactly the same product or service you are offering. For example a typical book at Amazon or Barnes and Noble might go for $15 – 25.unique. What is the most important skill in business? Emerson once said.

it would surely be worth a few hundred dollars. The first step in becoming a good marketer is to get away from the position of trying to sell your product and step into the potential buyer’s position. if it could fulfill its value proposition. You need to identify your target market. But to a struggling single mom. The better you can target the potential market. The market really does not care about the features.For example. Too many people get hung up on telling all the features of the product or service. you need to get away from the focus on the product and get the potential user to focus on the results to them. if your book taught a person how to start and run a business that would easily make them $75. This is your message to your market. Look at the proposition from the buyer’s point of view. You need to have a narrow market that you can segment and identify. What need or problem will your product solve for the buyer? © Teach the Soul – 2007 115 .000 per year and the information was unique. you do not have a market. Again. I have met with businessmen who said their product would appeal to everyone. If you cannot identify a highly targeted market. special and not available else where. Only in this way can you afford to market to them. what would the value of that book be? Well to a brain surgeon. It is much too expensive for a small company to market a mass market product. you need to develop your USP – unique selling proposition. The potential user is interested in one thing – what’s in it for me – this is often shown as an acronym WIIFM. You will need to learn all the steps in marketing a product or service. This is only one small aspect of marketing. It tells your market the benefits of your product or service. the easier and cheaper it is to direct your marketing campaign. not much. Once you have narrowed down your target market.

You will need to take a longer term approach to the marketing process. © Teach the Soul – 2007 116 . If your product or service is just average. Again. it is important to cover the highlights here. Most have been sold some snake oil and once burnt. the social proof should not be in glowing terms of how nice a person you are or how easy it is to do business with you. While this is far short of a complete course on marketing. Buyer’s today are not that willing to part with their money. Your product or service needs to really fulfill a need in a big way. All they really care about is will the product or service provide the benefits you claim. Then the marketing system begins an automated series of spaced contacts designed to build a relationship and eventually convert the person to a paying customer. This takes time. We identify and reach out to a target market. One other thing on your marketing message – you need to make a bold promise. You need a bold promise. So you are going to need to supply some social proof that your product produces the results you claim. Today a lot of marketing is call permission marketing.You should not approach the marketing as a one shot deal. twice shy. With each contact you have with the potential buyer. Our marketing process ask those who are interested to raise their hands and ask for a special report. you have the opportunity to build trust. You will need to build a relationship with the potential buyers. then you are going to have a difficult time appealing to the consumers. Remember the potential buyer does not really care how polite you are. There are a couple of other things you should know. a free sample or some other sort of legitimate bribe which in turn gives the marketer permission to contact them in the future. Today’s consumers are highly skeptical.

If you are like most marketers and squeeze all you can out of the first sale. it may be the only sale you will make to that customer. You should understand that it is about ten times harder to sell prevention than it is to sell a cure. But if you learn to over deliver. Hence you will limit the size of the business. That means no takers. If you understand the life time value of a customer and realize that it is a much more profitable business model to spend more money on the front end and develop more customers your business will grow faster. Therefore you will be able to attract fewer customers. Life time value of a customer Most business people think the purpose of the first sale is to make a profit. to spend the money getting the customer and making sure that customer © Teach the Soul – 2007 117 . be careful that you are not selecting something that has long term benefits but requires short term sacrifice. you are going to limit the amount of funds available for marketing. They are looking to spend their money on something that gives very short term benefits. Dan Kennedy preaches that the purpose of the first sale is to get a customer.Now you certainly should not make a promise that your product or service cannot live up to. People are not willing to spend today on a benefit too far in the future. bigger and ultimately more profitable. you are going to get a ho-hum reaction from the market place. If you build your business model so that you are trying to make a profit on the first and every sale. So when selecting your product. But unless you really have faith in your product and boldly proclaim the benefits.

Now you might say if you lose money on the first sale. how do you ever make it back? Well once you have a satisfied customer. then you will have a much higher repeat business. And certainly since a part of your marketing campaign will ask (or bribe) them to. If you have a one time sale. You will also need to factor in the value of the referrals a satisfied customer will make. Once you have developed the customers trust. it is extremely easy to abuse that trust by selling them some product or service that is overpriced or misrepresented. it is very likely that they will refer their friends and associates to you. You must jealously guard your position with © Teach the Soul – 2007 118 . Develop customers for life Since we just learned that our customer base if the most valuable asset your business will ever develop. But if you have a satisfied customer that is continually buying from you.gets a great value proposition. A lot of businesses profess that their employees is their most valuable asset. you will find it much easier to sell to them again and again. And your marketing cost will be much lower. So the life time value of a customer is what they are likely to buy from you over their life as a customer. Most of the money you spend on the marketing on the front end will not need to be spent on the second and subsequent sale. it is highly unlikely they will be a huge source of referrals. Therefore the profit margins will be much higher. But a strong customer base that believes in you and the value of your products is absolutely the biggest asset your company will ever develop. You need to learn to look at a potential customer as the most valuable asset your business can acquire. you need to treat them with respect.

Too many people fill their team with people that have the same mindset and skills as they do. It is very difficult to develop customers. And they wonder why they do not achieve spectacular success.your customer base. You should develop a million dollar rolodex of go to people that you can count on the provide whatever help you need. it will. You can lose them in a heartbeat. If you wish to be successful you need to develop a team. then you better start getting a new team. Who is on your team? If you could get an inside glimpse of a highly successful person’s business. It is not necessary that all or for that matter any of the team members be employees. © Teach the Soul – 2007 119 . you would find that the success is not really a one man (or woman) show. If you don’t have a team of people that are smarter and possess skills that you don’t possess. Make it a point to build a highly qualified team and always be on the lookout for bright highly successful to add to your team. It is not worth the risk. If you ever think of asking yourself if some promotion might lose a customer. There are always plenty of people helping out. You will never be more successful than quality of your team. It is actually much better to hire highly qualified talent on an as needed basis and hire for the specific skills needed at that time. Do not get taken in by the lure of short term profits.

If you really want to succeed in life, you must develop persistence. It has been said that success leaves footprints. So study some successful people. What is one characteristic most of them have in common? If you study successful people, you will find that a large percentage of them have found a niche and stuck with it. They did not jump from one opportunity to the next. They did not chase every dream or get rich quick scheme that was presented to them. They found a niche and stuck with it. It really does not matter what area you choose to specialize in, it will take some time to establish yourself in your chosen field. You will need to learn the ins and outs of your particular business. Then depending on your marketing, it will take some time for you and the business to gain traction. You can speed it up with good marketing. But very likely, you will not start at the top of the game. Here is where most people go wrong. They try it for a few months and when they don’t meet with instant success, they think there is something wrong with their chosen field. The grass looks greener in some other pasture. But if you are going to be highly successful, you must learn to stay the course. Often people give up just when they are at the brink of a break through. If things are going a little slow, put a little more energy into the business. Giving up or switching directions too soon runs a great risk. You must learn to hang in there and be persistent. If something is basically wrong with your business model, don’t be stubborn. Learn to tell the

© Teach the Soul – 2007


difference between a structural problem with the model and an execution problem. Most problems are with the execution. We don’t do all the things we should or we don’t execute efficiently. If you are doing everything correct from an operational/marketing standpoint, then it is time to question the business assumptions.

Designing your life can be reduced to two concepts – getting clear and taking focused action. There is so much going on in each of our lives, it is often difficult for us to get really clear – and if we are not clear, focused action is simply not possible. We often get sidetracked, we become opportunistic rather than strategic, that is we jump on each and every opportunity that comes our way. There is an abundance of opportunity. But you have limited time and resources. You must decide on your highest value activities. Devote your time to making your high priority items work successfully. There is generally more money in doing one thing extremely well than in doing ten things moderately okay. The better you get at doing your particular task, the more valuable you become. If you are not achieving what you want, check on your clarity of purpose. If your purpose is clear, examine how much action you are taking toward your goals. What is holding you back?

© Teach the Soul – 2007


Achieving your goals is not nearly as difficult as most people think. If you find you are having trouble reaching your goals, you are probably doing something wrong. Here is a list you can use to find out what you might be doing wrong. 1. Are your goals written? Are they clear? Is there a specific time frame for accomplishing them? 2. Have you identified all the resources you will need to accomplish your goals? 3. Have you identified where you might find the resources you do not currently have? 4. Have you asked for help in obtaining the resources you need? 5. Have you made a step by step plan for obtaining your goals? 6. Are you following the plan? 7. Are you waffling between conflicting goals? Do you say you want something but act totally different? 8. Are you failing to take action on your plan? Why? Ask yourself why you are not doing the things you know you should be doing? 9. If you are slipping, revisit your goals. Ask yourself why you listed the goal in the first place. What outcome were you expecting from this goal? How important to you was this outcome? If you don’t have a strong “why” for each

© Teach the Soul – 2007


© Teach the Soul – 2007 123 . You will come to accept failure as a way of life and that will destroy your drive. So re-examine your “why” for each goal. you will not have the driving force necessary to achieve it. You do not want to get into the habit of listing half-hearted goals and then not putting in the effort. Those goals that were merely wishes should be removed from your list.and every goal.

Additional resources As you learned earlier. develop the habit of reading for a fixed amount of time each day. you must become a student of business. That will involve reading books. at some point in your development you will need to spring for paying big bucks to personal attention. You must become a student of life and if you wish to succeed in business. the least expensive method of learning and growing is to read good books. While you can learn a lot and make a certain amount of progress from mentors who do not charge directly for their time and advice. That is. listening to audio programs. You should read those types of books that will assist you in your growth. Reading When you are just starting out. attending live programs and at some point in your development you will need to take the leap and engage mentors and coaches that will help you accelerate your growth. Don’t look at any of these costs as expenses. how-to business books. Look at them as an investment in yourself. You will do best to take a systematic approach to your reading. You should also read some psychology books. marketing and management. You will need to adopt a multi-prong approach to learning and growing. if you wish to achieve your full potential in life. This can be biographies of successful men (and unsuccessful for that matter – so you learn what not to do). An investment that will build in value and continue paying dividends for the rest of your life. You need a good understand of why people do what © Teach the Soul – 2007 124 . you must develop a habit of continuous learning and growing.

motivational As a Man Thinketh How to Get What You Want My Personal Best James Allen Orison Sweet Marden John Wooden Edward L. Frankl Ralph Parlette © Teach the Soul – 2007 125 . Also round out your reading with history and philosophy. Here are my top ten lists of business and life books: Self help.they do. Why we do What we do: Understanding Self-motivation Deci A Manual for Living (A Little Book of Wisdom) Epictetus Mindset: The New Psychology of Success The Power of the Subconscious Mind The Greatest Salesman in the World Carol Dweck Joseph Murphy Og Mandino Man’s Search for Meaning The University of Hard Knocks Viktor E. inspirational.

Harv Eker © Teach the Soul – 2007 126 . Deming Rafael Aguayo Selling the Invisible: A Field Guide to Modern Marketing Harry Beckwith Influence: Science and Practice Robert Cialdini Think and Grow Rich Good to Great Napoleon Hill Jim Collins Nuts! Southwest Airlines’ Crazy Recipe for Business and Personal Success Kevin Freiberg.Business books: Dr. Jackie Freiberg The Richest Man in Babylon The Magic of Thinking Big George Clason David Schwartz All Marketers are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-trust World Seth Godin Secrets of the Millionaire Mind T.

This is a partial list of programs that I recommend.Audio One of the best ways to accelerate your learning is to turn your drive time into learning time. Ron White. Jim Rohn. you can and should check ebay. Jack Canfield. Of course. Psychologists tell us that we need to internalize ideas – that is make them our own – for them to really work for us. Deepak Chopra. Napoleon Hill. Brian Tracy. Tony Robbins. Jack Zufelt. You can put any of the above names in your search engine and it will give you any number of web sites where you can buy their material. As long as you are buying CDs the material should be in good condition and you can get it at a fraction of the cost. Please understand I have only listed a fraction of what is available © Teach the Soul – 2007 127 . Once you find a program that you relate to. The following are a partial list of the programs I have listened to. I am sure you can find many more. You can do this by listening to audio CDs while you are driving. listen to it often. But the important point is to engage in a program of continuous learning. Zig Ziglar. Denis Waitley and Jim Fay. The best way to imprint the ideas in our brain is by repetition. Earl Nightingale. Dan Kennedy.

When we have no other means to gauge the value of a product or service. And as a result. Like most other products or services. We have been conditioned to shop for goods and services by price. If you are looking to be among the very top income earners. Associate with them. However you will find that most of the people who get in these programs tend to stay in them.Mentors/coaches You are not going to learn million dollar ideas from the shoe shine boy. It is just that as stated before. It is very difficult for us to evaluate coaching /mentoring services. © Teach the Soul – 2007 128 . your income will depend in part on the caliber of people you associate with. There is a need for them and I am glad that some people have decided that is their calling in life.000 per year for their inner circle coaching programs. They get more out of the program than it cost. You can only learn that one way. there is no objective method of measuring one service against another. There are many high level coaches that charge upwards of $10. then you need to seek out a highly successful coach / mentor. Often for a few dollars more you can expect a much greater return on your investment. we tend to make our selection on price. And if you want to be in the circle of millionaires. They stay in them for one reason. Do not look at saving money in this area. I am not trying to be mean to the shoe shine boy. you have to think and act like a millionaire. After all. we often look for the least expensive coach / mentor and think we have gotten a great deal or saved some money. This is a very short-sighted approach to finding a coach / mentor. the price often is an indication of the quality.

I am not suggesting that you jump into one of these expensive coaching programs right off the bat. Just one or two new ideas can make a huge difference in your life or your business. Do not just hand out business cards. Make it a point to really connect with three to five people. But if you will learn one or two ideas from each event you attend. boot-camps. there will come a time when it is right for you. workshops. So make it a point to go to events and then once there. by itself change anything. The second reason to attend live events is the people you will meet. The time does not have so much to do with the size of your business and your willingness to be open to accept the coaching and to take action. You must implement the idea. Attend seminars. The value is not so much in what you learn but the action you take on what you learn. learning a new idea will not. it does not matter how much you are paying – the value will not be there. You should plan to attend at least one or two live programs each and every year. and then implement the idea with massive action. No coach can take the action for you. You must be willing to do the work yourself. But chances are you would never meet some of the people unless you attended the events. Of course. Learn what they do and how you could possibly help them. Do not be afraid to © Teach the Soul – 2007 129 . The first of course is you should learn something new each time you attend an event. There are two reasons. You do not need to learn 10 or 15 things to make the event worthwhile. If you are not willing to listen and take action. But as you learn and grow. you will see some amazing results. Often times you will gain more value from the people you meet at events than you will get from the stage. make it a point to get around.

Some people are under the mistaken impression that all you need to do is write down your goals and by keeping them in front of you they will by some magic appear. the more active you are about making connections.share your knowledge. The following is a basic path to achieve any goal. You cannot approach your goals in a casual manner and expect to achieve them. you still need a system to follow. While you must keep your focus on what you want. The more you put into an event. the more value you will obtain. you will need to follow a system. State your goal: ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ State why you want to achieve this goal: © Teach the Soul – 2007 130 . You should make copies of this worksheet and use one copy for each goal. Designing Your Life Appendix A Goals Worksheet If you are going to achieve all the goals you have listed.

Your subconscious mind works best when the directions are very clear. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What will be the changes in your life as a result of achieving this goal? How is your life going to change as a result of setting and achieving this goal? Are you prepared to learn and grow? Are you comfortable with the changes you expect from achieving this goal? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is your goal a SMART goal? Is it specific? Is there any way for you to get more specific about the goal? Remember the more specific you are. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is the goal measurable? © Teach the Soul – 2007 131 .Remember your “why” must be strong enough to propel you to action when the going gets a little rough. You need some strong emotional reasons for wanting to achieve this goal. the easier it will be to obtain.

But while the goal should stretch you. Are there things in your physical make-up that make achieving the goal unrealistic? For example if you are under 5 feet tall. make you learn more and try new and different things. it should not be so far that you give up before you even start.How will you know when you achieved the goal? Are there milestones along the way to measure your progress? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Is it attainable? Your goal needs to stretch you from where you are now to where you want to be. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 132 . having a goal to play professional basketball is probably unrealistic. Don’t set goals that are totally out of the realm of possibilities. _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ _____________________________________________________ ____ Is it realistic? You must make sure that the goal you have set is realistic for you.

see if you could identify a niche within that market. you would pick a market. While you need a specific time frame for achieving your goal. For example if you were looking to start your own business. While the goal might represent the arrival of a certain point in your life or career. © Teach the Soul – 2007 133 . etc._____________________________________________________ _____ Time You must assign a time frame for achieving your goal. determine if you wanted or needed employees. there are some intermediate steps to achieving each goal. pick a location to run your business. decide on a plan of operations. you also should have some time frames for achieving steps along the way. In short. If there is no specific time frame. for a major goal there a number of smaller steps that need to be accomplished in order to achieve the goal. you will not be propelled to action. So the first step in achieving any major goal is to break it down into as many small steps as possible. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Plan of Action Now that you are totally confident that your goal qualifies as a SMART goal we are ready to design a plan of action. You need some deadlines to force you to take action.

the easier it should be to accomplish and the more confident you will be as you are making progress toward your goal. Next we will answer each of these questions for each step: What resources do I need to complete this step of my goal? Resources could be special knowledge. expert help. money. or any other asset necessary to complete this step.Step one:________________________________________ Step two:________________________________________ Step three:_______________________________________ Step four:________________________________________ Step Five:________________________________________ Step Six:_________________________________________ Step Seven:______________________________________ Step Eight:_______________________________________ Step Nine:________________________________________ Step Ten:________________________________________ You may be able to break your goal down into more steps. just make a separate worksheet with the additional steps. Remember the smaller the step. On the other hand you may find that there are not that many separate steps. © Teach the Soul – 2007 134 . that is perfectly okay. If you need additional steps. If you find you want to break the goal down into more than 10 steps.

Do not limit this to just your sources. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What results do I expect from the above actions? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I measure the results of the actions to determine if they give me my expected outcome? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions will I take if the results are different from those that I expected? You may not be able to answer this because the different results might have a significant influence on the actions.________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Where will I obtain the resources for this particular step? Be sure to list all the sources you can think of. guidance and help. Ask others for assistance. Just realize that if your results are different than what you expect. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What actions do I need to take in order to complete this step of the goal? Is there a particular order to the actions I need to take? If so. you will need to make some adjustments. list the actions in logical order. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ © Teach the Soul – 2007 135 .

________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Who can I enlist as an accountability partner? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Am I willing to be held accountable? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ How will I inform my accountability partner of the steps to be accomplished and my work toward accomplishing the steps? © Teach the Soul – 2007 136 .What is the time allotted for completing this step? Is this time realistic? What happens if the time schedule slips? What can I do to make sure the time schedule does not slip or if it slips can I make up the time somewhere else? ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What am I going to do today to move me along the path toward the achievement of this step? You need to repeat this question each and every day until this step of the plan is complete.

chances are you are trying to accomplish too much in too short a period of time. The very most important step is to take consistent action toward your goals. If you struggle with fear. But you must decide and have a structure. weekly for others and even monthly for overall progress. ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ Your initial reaction might be that this is a lot of work. The more action you take. My suggestion is to start off with small but consistent action and gradually increase the amount of action you are taking. © Teach the Soul – 2007 137 .________________________________________________ ________________________________________________ What time frame will we use to check my progress? This could be daily for some parts. your time frame and your commitment to your goals has a real chance of slipping. But if your plan of action has you taking more action than you can handle and you lapse into inaction because of fear. Your success will be determined on the amount of action you take. Why not do them in a systematic fashion? If you do not set time deadlines and have some method to being held accountable. You will need to do all the steps anyway. Actually it will ultimately result in less work and a faster and more direct path to achieving your goals. the quicker you will realize your goals. then you are worse off. So there is a trade off between recommending massive action and consistent action.

If you find you are following the action plan but getting stuck. © Teach the Soul – 2007 138 .The worksheet is general and is intended to cover most situations. I invite you to contact me for additional help.

© Teach the Soul – 2007 139 .

You're Reading a Free Preview

/*********** DO NOT ALTER ANYTHING BELOW THIS LINE ! ************/ var s_code=s.t();if(s_code)document.write(s_code)//-->