Once upon a time, and a very good time it was, a rebellious Irish author was drinking to excess while

observing the cynicisms of Ireland. An average evening for a man who would produce what is generally accepted as the last great novel in the English literary cannon. Growing up in Ireland at the turn of the century, Joyce developed an impressive hatred for just about everything (excluding alcohol, hookers, and relationships). He left home at the twenty to become as he bluntly put it ³an artist´. He spent his evenings drinking and patronizing brothels, and days writing critically acclaimed short stories. Like a boss. The nicknames appointed by his friends included ³The Bard´, ³The Scholar´, ³The cannon-burner´, ³Ozymandias´, ³Kick-Ass´ and on the rare, intoxicated occasions, ³Beyonce´ (He had a fantastic alto voice). In 1916, Joyce (henceforth referred to as the Chosen One) published Portrait of an Artist as a Young Man, a semi-autobiographical novella portraying a mans life til the age of thirty. The novel was defiant of the traditional way novels are read and written. It was written in a thirdperson narrative that evolves with the narrators age. The books publication was a well-received ³Screw You´ to the traditions of English writings and paved the way for 1922s Ulysses. Joyce The Chosen One at this time fell in love and adopted an eyepatch. He had embodied the roles of a literary rebel, a genius, a pirate, and now had a muse for his works as well. He refused the institution of marriage, associating it with Catholicism (which he wasn¶t too fond of as well) and instead swore himself to Nora Barnacle on June 16th. He published his masterpiece Finnegan¶s Wake in 1939, after leaving Ireland because ³That former nation is inhabited by drunks, child-beaters, boasters, gossips, schemers, and f***wits´(citation needed). Joyce died in Zurich in 1941, presumably while riding a dragon into the dark abyss of the ageless. His impact on the literary world has lasted two generations and his works will perplex lit. scholars FOREVER. No other author has had such vicious manipulation of English language or influence since the bible was penned. Look for the movie this summer with Samuel L. Jackson in the title role. -11/22/2010

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