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Puck Has a Moment

Puck Has a Moment

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Published by rbatson

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Published by: rbatson on Jan 17, 2011
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This was written in the seemingly-never-ending boredom called ISS today, and was an extra credit

assignment to save my grade in lit. It combines the elements of elizabethan dialect, and erectile dysfunction. Hope you like it. A Midsummer¶s Night Dream (probably) Act IV Scene Whatever (enters PUCK) (PUCK looks side-to-side confirming he is alone and sighs a breath of relief when coast is clear. He then pulls out a cigarette and presumes to light it while it sticks out of his mouth. He appears disgruntled and agitated) PUCK: I seek the familiar company of what light smoke may grace my lips. (He inhales deeply). May ill fate fall to those humans of mindless pursuits and their laughable attempts at love. Their will so easily bent to the will of a drunk with a magical dandelion, what imprudence that surrounds this world of fools and fairies. The intervention of my lord to appease both parties will achieve nothing. What fortune will he retrieve from aiding these lovers who truant from their city? Any gifts that will reveal themselves will certainly be unable to assist in his bed chambers. His sword, after many a century of conquesting nymphs, has failed to best his own wife. And naturally being his groom I am obligated to keep his pride from falling the same way as his µMan-at-arms¶ lead. Twas its own demise, and yet perchance it will be mine. I cannot recall the last time I was able to frolic in the woods. (takes long drag on cigarette looks down towards waist disappointingly and shakes head in shame) OBERON (offstage): Puck! I pray of you, make haste to ease the lovers¶ quarrel! (PUCK frantically stamps out cigarette after being startled by THESEUS¶S request) PUCK: I must hasten to drug the Athenian youth with« (pauses, looks at flower in hand)a rose by any other name of µCialis¶. Perchance I flee this site of my angered disposition towards Elizabethan Playwrights. (Calls out to THESEUS) I am here my lord to aid in thy woo-ing!

(exeunt) -3/11/2010

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