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BULLIED: VOLUME FIVE
Collected Poems By Christopher L. Jones All rights reserved. All material contained in this manuscript is copyright 2011. Cover image by the author. Permission to use all or part of this manuscript is given as long as author is given credit. www.jonesing.com
Bullied... intimidated, pushed around, bludgeoned, blustered, browbeated, teased, made fun of, bulldozed, coerced, cowed, despotized, domineered, harassed, leaned on, menaced, oppressed, persecuted, terrorized, threatened, tormented, tortured, tyrannized... we have all felt it. In Bullied: Collected Poems, hides a kindred spirit. One of the outsiders, the freaks, the oppressed lays bare his own personal account of growing up different in the United States. All of the pain, fear, self loathing, trepidation and angst that living in America's politically correct homogenized society brings has been formed into this collection of poetry, written in the past two years during the authors continual struggles with manic depression, a.k.a. bi-polar disorder. What started out as an arts therapy session in his youth has beome a life long poetry obsession and means of maintaining sanity for the author. Having published his poetry on numerous online poetry reviews, magazines and websites the author has finally gathered all of his chapbooks into one package reformatted specifically for your ereader. With poetry that ranges from the grotesque and sexually erotic to the sublime and mundane there is sure to be a poem here that every reader will be able to relate to or get turned on by. Bullied Volume Five contains the original chapbooks, Bitter, Faggot and Slut. These three chapbooks were the very first self published chapbooks in an ereader format from the author. At the time of their publication little was expected from them other than a sense of completion in this whole cathartic process. The strong positive and negative reactions from readers has never ceased to be a source of humour and amasement and the author thanks all of the readers who have taken the time to read these. None of the chapbooks contents have been changed and all poems have been included in their original order and form.
BITTER 3 .
Destroy Me It is me that sits here and wonders at where I should take this. it makes me cringe at the thought of never reaching all I am worth with one little chance 4 . So fragile is the chance of ultimate Destruction that I can not shake it.
It makes me feel so alone. What is it that takes me to slowly pulling my teeth as a scrumptious pious place or rectal pains and silent screams. 5 .Inner Torment I pause to take a moment and allow myself a time to reflect and measure fully all that is mine. as if in my own way I grab a hold of nothing.
So I will not jump the last step over the side. Just an unending hesitation to go ahead in my quest for salvation. a high wall and an impasse so objectionable as to be called perfect. A long fall. 6 .My Last Lament Contemplating my last lament. I realize I have no regrets.
A moment of hate for myself and no other. not sure either way. All my lies. For today I sit in an idle wait. Circumvented.Circumvent In Wait Misrepresentation. pushed aside. 7 . unabated orientation. Simply out of my eye’s sight. A way. A will. All my sins of the beginning to the end.
Carrying out my own neurotic bliss in a displeasing murder of my own inner self. No pig! I haven’t the power for much of anything anymore… Life is just meaningless so lost in pretension.Doldrums of Madness Doldrums of madness eating me away and decomposing my laziness. push. Procrastination at its best. pull. I tread the water fleeing my baptismal swim by going nowhere without oomph. I dream… of good nightmares to while away time. 8 .
Waiting My Turn Lost moments to myself I sit here dejectedly without pause or care Drifting with my thoughts to a place unaware of me and my loathsome state So contrived as to rule my mind Torment me! Stopping me cold! The worse yet to come and then all will fall inward on itself A little smidgeon of god awful hate A shame A blame A curious backward grin No point in breaking out of my worthless while 9 .
I shall never win in the fight for my mind. I’ve lost to this blackness and fallen to madness… 10 . I’ve lost against reason.The Empty Spaces in My Head The blank spaces inside my head fill with blackness which I now dread. They fill me with pain. If I don’t end it now it shall be too late. I have lost against time.
My Love A feeling felt so strongly Opening wounds most demurely As if a dream had just awakened inside my head adjacent To the very thoughts that spell out love Given out to my few who understand heaven’s light I find true pure in soul and spirit fiery tormented rages burning inside them The few that I love The lost distant few For ever searching I am As you are. too true We will find one another in a closing final act or we will drift as the sea and its ships blowing out feelings to the wind 11 .
To Juliet Woeful cry I lament my love Heart’s bliss is now poison Its cup I did drink and the black liquid did stain the lips and rot the teeth of my mouth burning my trought to starve my guts I did drink the poison cup of love 12 .
FAGGOT 13 .
Fascist Faggots Fascist faggots God how I hate them and myself for becoming one of those cock sucking boot marching fags So intent on the feeling of a thick hard penis sliding in and out of my ass giving a squeal of delight as the fat head spreads my hole nice and wide For that long shaft to pierce damn hot hard thrusts feels good They make all of one’s muscles gel and relax 14 .
so sweet! 15 . slut and baby Only to finish it off with a mouthful of cum dripping down my chin and tasting Oh.Afternoon Slut Oh! To look forward to an afternoon of being bent over Pants at my knees hands clutching my ass cheeks as some hot and sweaty guy pounds away at me calling me sexy bitch.
it would be truly spiritual for the masturbation of the few. Woe to the woman deep inside me. If only I were woman to have someone to hold… Soft dresses tight around me. Not a physical act then. Break free! Run forth! Grab hold of him by the balls! 16 . Hard cock in hand bound to my ass splitting buttocks I am my own man.Transgender-ed Vivid are my thoughts of another’s touch. Walking lost and always finding comfort in the thrusts of man.
in spurts full under my tongue till I am too full and have to swallow Watching him stroke my lovely curves Round as I am all borrowed and fake 17 . forcibly My costume is borrowed My makeup is fake But what glorious thighs! What a glorious ass! Plush and yet solid meaty pickings for the adventurous few The ones who pierce me longing for my delight They make me squeal and arch my ass up higher Rip my legs apart to drive me home Touching all of his sweaty caress longing. my delight.Cross Dressing My curves are round.
Equus Bound I was a horse today mounted by the actors to take me for a ride across the stage Piercing me with their tongues Breath tainted with strong wits Bridled me with stir ups to get up on my back Lung to and fro So graceful and erotic I lost it and came 18 .
Daddy’s Toy The man in the room with the big bulge in his pants Stands there and waits till everyone is gone so that an ass will part and let his big dick in Ramming it home up and under my chin 19 .
Twink Fag boy over there looks real cute in his acid washed jump suit and gold round glasses I bet they pop off his head when you squeeze his ass… What a pity What a shame This vicious circle I so love I call him bastard Insecurities Inhibitions Lust Desire 20 .
To let it in the great orifice feeling the throb. White liquid trickles my inner leg in sticky. A final moan presses itself up against my ass.Tall Black Man The dark one laid it on me. Blood boil to a stroke of man hood between my thighs. Finally pulling out and tickles me as it pulses. It erupts and I with it. Slapped it down in my face. 21 . On top of my tongue red and dripping wet desire to curve and bend around it.
Indiscrete The slow pain of discretion makes me ill with anticipation and lost regret as if to say that something new was a way to forget all of one’s promises and faiths. 22 . To be struck down by one’s own ineptitude is pathetic and vile.
SLUT 23 .
Would be me. Would be me.Fuck Me Girl Tight skirt Spread cheeks Erect penis Splice that hole in-between us. 24 . A tight fit makes us only that much closer for the fool who just wants to fuck.
A freedom of pulled out expression just like the face of the man who pulls out and has to ejaculate into the air. 25 . So tricky and deceitful and abashedly aware to peak a curiosity and measured fullness. Blonds with brains is such a deadly combination. Spraying out an outlandish piece of frustration and heart ache. It is at least nice to look and admire the blond hair. To be… To be.Admirable Temptation In a place of temptation or at least the thought of such a thing. A great place I am in. slim waist and nice firm ass.
Crazy eyes under all that hair. Taunting me at every turn. to long for deep down inside and out of sight for. Boyish to be bent carried over into the most luscious woman! To cream for. 26 . The woman of my dreams in combat boots and a short black skirt.Skater Girl Skater girl in my mind. to dream for.
Malleable Moldable One could pretty much bend her any way one wanted. Easy picking as she is so young.Barely Legal Nice legs muscular and very tan. 27 .
Bad Sex So all of me hurts and aches and my baby She hates me because I won’t fuck her I don’t want to fuck anyone right now I’m not in that mood where sex is appalling It is a dirty disgusting animal type act Merely a function of the body to be ignored or embraced It has no moral connotations It is like a flip of the wrist Natural and obnoxious when it can not be ignored 28 .
Life Lesson Learned Such misfortunes fall to man In his quest to get a piece of ass 29 .
30 .The Girl in My Mind Girl in my mind I see her in my eyes dancing around a burning flame skin shown bright with a fiery glow a touch tainted red strikes deep in the love of life in a lower gesticulation Gyration Friction Creating a spark To burn down the house In my eyes I see flames against the sky I know why now baby.
Flirting Soft erotic caress turns to a hard driving lust as you stood next to the mirror with a poised rump Tempting me with a finger curled rightly in my mouth pulling me towards the counter 31 .
Flesh princess of another era.Flesh Princess I look at lulu. this woman they call lulu. How I long to feel her caress. So breathtaking to view. Flesh princess of another era. 32 . to grab that small waist push that bob our of her face run a finger up a silver strap down sensuous arms into black silk ruffles that line curved legs.
. for most of his life." Christopher started writing after being introduced to poetry as a form of art therapy as a teenager and has not stopped since. Originally born in Tucson. is now available through Chipmunka Publishing: http://chipmunkapublishing. he has been a survivor of mental illness.jonesing. To find out more about the author and his work. he is a single father of one. Jones is an author..php? main_page=product_info&products_id=1708 33 . Arizona.About the Author Christopher L.exactly what is wrong with the average white American male. mostly working in the areas of lighting and scenic design. WATERBOARDED. Aside from working with words..uk/shop/index. stage management and producer. A graduate of New Mexico State University with a degree in Philosophy and Theater Arts. Utah. Having majored in technical theater and arts management. USA. sound design. he has spent over twenty five years contributing to the various performing arts groups in his community.com His novel. His work has been described as "masturbating on the world’s stage in verse" and ". properties design. poet and artist living in Salt Lake City. visit www. Christopher has been active back stage since his childhood..co. specifically bi-polar disorder.
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