Why not???

It was cold and foggy afternoon when I decided to have a spare moment for
myself. As I strolled around the pathways of the seminary football field, I felt the
coldness of the wind hovering upon me. In that state of solitude, I was impregnated
by the peaceful ambiance of the surroundings which made me fell ease and snug. I
began to delve into the innermost citadel of my being and reflected upon the
journey that I am venturing with. Suddenly these queries popped-up in my flickering
mind; why does God called me to live this kind of life? Why me and not someone
else? And why I am still here? By that, in a few moments, I was perturbed and
became enigma to myself for it really bedevils me to reflect upon the panorama of
my life.

Well, since the time I decided to embrace the threshold of seminary life, I can
vividly recall the burning desire lingering within me. However, sometimes I muse
and ponder why God called me out of the many young men who are perhaps worthy
than me. But as I go beyond and reflect, I realized how special I am in the eyes of
God because He called me in spite of who I am. I know that God called me to this
kind of life by the mere fact that I reach this stage of formation and able to survive
the challenges that awaits my seminary life.

God’s ways are mysterious that make my vocation so beautiful. This in fact
indicates that vocation is indeed a mystery as the life is a mystery. Behind the
mystery, I found out that this fuels me to go on and persevere on my priestly
vocation. I discover that knowing the why of my call cannot be fully comprehended
because this is the work of the Holy Spirit that remains a mystery. However, love
transcends the why in such a way that I just love my vocation but I don’t know why.
Therefore love cannot answer the why, it just moves in a mysterious way.

Vocation to priesthood is indeed a special divine call; an extraordinary gift

intended to be shared with everybody. It is a mission which calls for a unique type
of grace given by God only to those He has chosen. As the Bible says, before I
formed you in your mother’s womb, I knew you and before you were born I
appointed you.”(Isaiah 1:5). As I continue this seminary formation, I always pray to
God that He may grant me the grace to be docile in knowing His will, so that in the
end I may able to decide not base on my own will but His will and instead of asking
why? Why? Why? I should say why not?